Transcription
Making small talk with senior leaders at work. I know I'm on video right now, but I feel like I can hear you doing this, sucking your breath in with all that anxiety, and you're definitely not alone in feeling anxious or uncertain when it comes to striking up conversations with executives in your workplace. It's completely normal to feel intimidated; after all, these individuals not only have extensive experience, but they also take on roles of authority where you work.
But here's the truth: ultimately, they're just people like you and me. Today, in this Confident English lesson, I'm going to show you just how simple it can be to start a conversation, make a positive impression, and maybe even establish some rapport that can benefit your career in the long run. In this lesson, we're going to walk through some easy-to-use tips, strategies, and questions so you feel both comfortable and confident in these common interactions. So whether it's at the coffee machine, in an elevator, or at a company event, you'll be ready to engage. If you're ready to turn those awkward situations into opportunities, let's get started with how to have small talk with senior leaders in your workplace. You might be surprised just how simple it can be.
Now, very quickly, if this is your first time here, welcome! I'm Annemarie, an English confidence and fluency coach. Everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your life and work in English. If you'd love to get years of lessons from me, including numerous lessons on small talk, you can find all of that and much more over at my Speak Confident English website. While you're there, I recommend downloading my free fluency training called "How to Get the Confidence to Say What You Want in English."
Alright, now to boost your small talk skills, we're going to do a few things. First, I want to talk through three essential tips when it comes to small talk with senior leaders. Then we'll go through a three-step process you can follow consistently, and along the way, I'll give you great example questions to use.
So first, I've got three small talk tips for you to keep in mind to help calm those nerves or push some of that anxiety away. First, remember that your boss or any senior leader in your company is human, just like you. Your boss has interests, feelings, thoughts, and experiences happening throughout the day. It's always appropriate to initiate a small talk conversation with a simple question about how someone's day is going.
The second tip for small talk with senior leaders is to keep your conversations heavy on the professional side and light on the personal to keep these conversational interactions work-appropriate. It's best to stick to professional topics such as your work experience, things that you're learning, or the company itself. Then, from time to time, your small talk conversations with senior leaders could look at making connections on a more personal level. For example, you might have a discussion over a shared love of a particular podcast, an article, a book, or some event that's happening in the news right now. But for the most part, your small talk interactions with senior leaders will emphasize work-related topics.
And tip number three when it comes to small talk with senior leaders is to embrace brief exchanges. As you know, your boss is very busy and may not have the time or energy to invest in a lengthy conversation. Not only that, but your boss may have worked to create clear boundaries with workplace relationships, and as a result, conversations in the workplace, particularly those that are more personal, might be very brief. As a result, it's important to be open to fluctuations in terms of the depth and length of your conversations with senior leaders at work.
With those tips in mind, I want to share with you a three-step approach to help you be confident and effective in your workplace interactions. I'm going to give you a very quick overview of these three steps, and then we'll take a look at each one in depth. The first step in this approach is to plan ahead. Now, of course, we can't plan for every social interaction. It's inevitable that there will be a situation where you unexpectedly run into a senior leader and have an opportunity to have a quick exchange. However, there are times when you know that you'll have that opportunity. For example, there may be a company event coming up soon, or perhaps you know that a senior leader will be visiting your department next week.
When we talk about this particular step in depth, I'll give you some key things to think through to help you prepare in advance. The second step in this approach is to listen and connect. What that means is once you've initiated that small talk conversation, it's important to listen actively, paying attention to little bits of information or key details because this will allow you to ask better follow-up questions and, in the end, have a more meaningful exchange.
And then step number three in this approach is to end on a positive note. This means to end your interaction with some positive statement or action step. Let's take a closer look at each one of these steps. As I mentioned, step number one is to plan ahead. When you know that you'll have an opportunity to interact with a senior leader at a meeting coming up next week, a visit to your department, or a company retreat, you can take time to plan ahead with some key questions in mind. Preparing in advance will help you feel confident and ready the moment you have that interaction. It'll also lead to more meaningful exchanges.
When you're in the preparation phase, there are a few questions for you to ask yourself, some considerations to take into account. For example, you might start thinking about where you will be. Will you encounter this particular senior leader at a networking event, at a corporate dinner, or a more relaxed networking company environment? How much time do you think you'll have in that interaction? What is the particular purpose of the event or meeting? What does this senior leader already know about you? And lastly, what topic might be most appropriate to discuss in that particular time and place?
Once you've thought through those initial questions, the next one is the most important: what is the key message that you want to share with your boss or that senior leader in your conversation? For example, do you want your boss to learn more about your expertise, receive an update about an ongoing project, or know more about your professional motivation? Once you've made a few notes with these particular questions in mind, you can then begin to consider the topics or questions that would be relevant and appropriate to the situation that you'll be in.
For example, if you know your boss will be visiting your department next week, spending time to get to know your team, it's obvious that that would not be an appropriate time to try making some personal connection by having a conversation about your kids. However, if your company is hosting a casual dinner for all of its employees, you might have a more personal interaction at that time. With those guidelines in place, let's take a look at a few questions that are great ways to get a small talk conversation going.
If, for example, you and your boss are at the same conference, you might ask, "What did you think of the presentation? Did you enjoy it, or did you learn anything new?" Whether your conversation is planned or unplanned, you can always start with, "How's your day going?" Or let's say that you recently noticed your boss is reading a particular book, and during a casual part of the day, maybe over a lunch break, you might say, "I noticed you were reading X. What do you think of it so far?" And finally, if you know that your boss has been traveling recently, when they come back to the office, you might say, "How was your trip?"
Do you notice that? With each of those questions, I first explained the context or the situation to make sure that the question asked is relevant. Going through those key questions I asked you to consider in step number one will help you make sure that your questions are always appropriate to the situation that you're in.
The second step for an effective small talk conversation with a senior leader is to relax, listen, and connect. As I highlighted in step number one, we don't always get the luxury of preparing in advance. There will be situations in which you unexpectedly bump into someone and have an opportunity to start a small talk conversation. In that moment, the best thing you can do is relax and analyze. Do a quick mental scan of some of those questions I shared with you earlier. For example, you can very quickly mentally analyze where you are at that particular moment, why you are there, and does your boss look like he or she is in a rush?
While you're mentally scanning those questions, you can certainly smile and greet your boss with a "Good morning," "Good afternoon," "Hello," etc. Now let me give you a quick example of some different circumstances that might help you think about the best question to begin with. For example, you might bump into your boss in the elevator on the way up to a very important meeting, and you have about 10 seconds together, or you might be getting coffee on a weekend with your family and unexpectedly run into your boss at a coffee shop. These are two extremely different circumstances that would result in very different questions.
Now, if you're not sure what to do or what to say in either of those scenarios, the best question to start with is simply, "How's your day going?" Or, "It's good to see you! How's your day going?" Once you've asked that first question, the next part of this step is crucial: listen actively. That means pay close attention to what your boss says so that you can identify key pieces of information or details that will allow you to ask follow-up questions.
For example, if you're in an elevator with your boss and you ask how their day is going, your boss might respond by saying that she's quite busy today due to a project that you're familiar with. In this case, you might comment on your own experience with that particular project or compliment your boss on how they've handled that particular project so far. Or if, for example, you're on your way out of the office at the end of the workday and you run into your boss after hearing about how their day is going, your boss might indicate that she's on her way to pick up her kids from school, and in this circumstance, because your boss has shared something outside of the workplace, it would be appropriate to ask a related question, such as how old her kids might be.
Listening for these little bits of information is the key to ultimately making a connection, and it's the quality of these connections that will make your conversations more interesting and allow you to establish rapport or even leave a lasting impression. Now, a final note on step number two is it's important to always read the room. To read the room means that you pay attention to the subtle nonverbal details that give information or clues about someone's energy, their feelings, or thoughts at a particular moment.
For example, if your boss appears relaxed and is answering your questions at length, then it's an indication that they're interested in the conversation, and it would be perfectly appropriate to keep it going for a period of time. However, if their responses are particularly curt or short, or it seems that they're not really paying attention, this is a sign that it's time to bring that conversation to a close, and that leads me to step number three: end on a positive note.
Let's take a look at a few great examples, and then I'll highlight how to end on a positive note in a real-life scenario. When it's time to bring your small talk conversation to a close, try using one of these phrases: "It was wonderful talking to you. I hope you have a great day," "Thanks for the great conversation. Enjoy the rest of your day." If you want to reference a particular topic that you've been discussing, you can bring that into your closing by saying, "I hope we can talk more about this soon. Have a great day," or "I hope we can talk more about X soon," and you might highlight the key topic or maybe a book that you've been discussing, for example. Lastly, "Thank you for your time. I really enjoyed our conversation."
Now, if you're not sure how to bring these into the end of the conversation, let me give you an example. Let's say that you and your boss have been having a conversation about a podcast that you're both listening to. After some back and forth, it's clear that your boss needs to get on with her day, or perhaps you have a meeting to get to, so it's time to bring the conversation to a close. Here's how you could do that: "I know you have a busy day, so I don't want to take up all your time, but it was really fun talking to you about this. Let me know what you think about the next episode. I think you'll love it." And then once you've said that, you can say your goodbyes and go on with your day.
With that, you have a simple three-step approach you can use any time you have an opportunity to enjoy a small talk conversation with a senior leader in your workplace. Now, before we finish today, I've got a bonus for you. If you want a little bit more information to see how all of these steps interact together, if you visit this lesson over at my Speak Confident English website, I've provided two dialogues that you can review where you'll see each of these steps played out in the conversation. You can easily access this lesson by going to the notes below this video, and I'll also share a link in the top corner as well.
With that, thank you so much for joining me today. I hope that you found this lesson helpful, and if you did, I would love to know. You can tell me in a few very simple ways. Number one, give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube, and number two, make sure you subscribe to my Speak Confident English Channel so you never miss one of my Confident English lessons. Lastly, you can share a comment with me down below. Thanks again for joining me, and I look forward to seeing you next time.