Transcription
Do you understand why guys would have a problem with a woman who has a high body count? Do you understand the logic behind it? I think it’s insecurity. That’s where it comes from. It’s like they really want a woman who is a virgin because they think she won’t be good in bed and will have no experience. But I don’t think they need her to be good at sex; that’s so boring. I mean, that just sounds transactional to me. It’s strange to like someone simply because they haven’t been with anyone else. It feels like a checklist: “I like you because you haven’t been with anyone.”
Now, I can understand that if a guy is religious, his views may come from a different place. But for alpha males—those who want to be the head of their households and consider themselves leaders—their attraction to a less experienced woman doesn’t hinge on her skill in bed. What they find appealing is that she is truly excited to be with him. She is present, loyal, and committed. He doesn’t need her to be an acrobat; he just needs her to be devoted. In fact, sexual promiscuity can actually be a turn-off, because it implies that if she’s done all these things with many other guys, then what’s special about their connection?
Let’s say we are discussing dating and sex. If she's gone through a hundred partners, aren’t those experiences supposed to mean something? It seems to me that if she chose to be with him after all those other guys, that is special. But many men would argue that it reflects poor judgment. If a woman has been with a hundred people, they may feel she can't have been in love with all of them.
The challenge, I think, is that there’s a wide spectrum of experience. Sure, most guys would gladly choose a virgin over someone who has slept with 100 partners. But if a woman has been with a reasonable number of people in relationships where emotional connections were made, then that’s different. They might even be okay with it. The worry, however, often lies in the belief that if a woman can disconnect sex from emotion, she might also be more likely to cheat when things get tough in a relationship.
As for a virgin dating a man, it’s possible that if she encounters someone at work with strong chemistry, she might be tempted to explore that because she doesn’t know better. On the other hand, if a woman has had experience, she may have a deeper understanding and appreciation of what she wants.
Consider a scenario where a woman who has dated someone from high school eventually finds herself attracted to someone else who exhibits confidence and control, especially if her high school boyfriend lacks those traits. Why shouldn’t she be interested?
However, I believe having some experience is crucial for personal growth. Just being a virgin doesn’t guarantee that a person knows what they want; sometimes, they may just have situational constraints preventing them from exploring. There’s a distinction to be made between no experience and promiscuity. A virgin entering their first relationship might face unique challenges, while someone who has been sexually adventurous but lacks emotional connection also has their own set of issues.
Most men, I think, would prefer a woman who has a little relationship history—someone who has been through authentic relationships where they learned about love and intimacy. They’re likely to pass on a person who has been with numerous partners while readily appreciating someone who has been more selective, perhaps because that reflects self-respect and a stable upbringing.
Ultimately, while people can and do change, it’s often difficult for men to process a woman’s past. For some, the question lingers: Is her past promiscuity going to cause problems down the line? So, while someone may become a fantastic partner later in life, many men will still harbor concerns about their past behaviors and what they might mean for the future.
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