CHAPTER 6 HUMANISTIC PSYCHOANALYSIS

Welcome to humanistic psychoanalysis by Eric Fromm, wherein we would be tackling how he made sense of the world. Ang sabi niya, itong loneliness daw, itong isolation na nararamdaman natin, is due to us feeling separated in this natural world. Yes, may pananaw. Kumpara kay Freud, yung theory ni Eric Fromm is more cultural in nature, more social. At kumpara naman kay Karen Horney, mapapansin niyo, parang magkadugtong yung kanilang theory. Mapapansin niyo, yung kay Eric Fromm, mas malawak ng kaunti. Okay, it's more inclusive in a way.

So, Eric Fromm here, si pareng Eric, is not just a personality theorist. He was seen to be a psychotherapist, a biblical scholar, and he is strongly influenced by the Bible in his teachings. Ah, yun nga lang, hindi gaano yun ma-emphasize dito sa discussion natin, pero I strongly recommend, at your leisure time, baka gusto niyong pagnilayan o i-contemplate na galing kay Eric Fromm. He is also a cultural anthropologist and a psychobiologist. His psychoanalysis looks at people from a historical and cultural perspective rather than a strictly psychological one.

Take note na hindi niya naman dinard ang psychological aspect natin or psychological life or psychic life. Yun nga lang, malakas nga daw ang impluwensya ng kultura at ng society na kinabibilangan natin in our development as a person or as an individual.

All right, moving on, we would talk a little about his biography. Eric Fromm is from Germany. He is the only child of his Jewish parents. Sabi niya, or sabi ng mga biographers, ang tingin daw kay Eric Fromm ng mga magulang niya ay neurotic. He is a thoughtful young man. He was influenced by the Bible, by Freud, and by Marx. He was seen to be influenced by social ideologies na pinanghahawakan.

His theory looks at personality from the lens of psychology, from the lens of history, and from anthropology, as he received his PhD in sociology. Not unlike the other theories na pinag-usapan natin, mga doktor sila, may mga medicine degree sila. Si Eric Fromm, alam naman natin, siguro naririnig niyo rin o nababasa niyo sa ilang mga articles o sa mga memes, siguro he had a relationship with Karen Horney.

So, si Karen Horney, yung patterns of relationships niya ay sa mga younger men. Ito namang si Eric Fromm, he had relationships with older women. Okay, so ang turning point niya, he was actually confused and puzzled at the same time with two major happenings in his life. Yung unang panahon, sabi niya, how do people really kill each other? 'Ba tao yan eh. Sabi nga, tanging ang tao daw ang pumapatay for different reasons. Bakit animals kill each other for survival, pero ang tao, they could kill other people for different reasons.

Okay, tapos another thing, sabi niya, he was confused with the suicide of a beautiful girl because of her father's death. Why would you repay death with another death? Parang ganon, yun yung iniisip niya. So that's a little overview of Eric Fromm.

Okay, so ito yung overview naman ng kanyang theory. He believed that humans are separated from a prehistoric union with nature, and we are unable to adapt, not unlike animals, not unlike trees, not unlike plants. They are one with nature. Ba, hindi nila problema kung anong degree ang kukunin nila. Hindi sila nagrereklamo. Bakit? Ba't ako amoy aso? Bakit amoy tae ako? O ano ba yung pangarap ko sa buhay? Bakit yung aso na yun parang ang kinis niya? Pero tayong mga tao, we worry about a lot of things.

We are able to perceive na, hala, I feel sad, I feel lonely. Yun nga daw kasi tayong mga tao ay mayroon ng intelligence. As we evolved, as culture evolved, mas lalo tayong nase-sense. Humans are able to conceive or perceive this isolation, this isolated condition that we have. Ang tawag niya dito ay human dilemma.

Therefore, tayong mga tao, we have no powerful instincts to adapt to a changing world, but instead, meron tayong capability to reason or to think. Okay, we have acquired the reason or the ability to perceive different aspects of life. Tinawag niya ito na human dilemma. At dahil we are able to conceive things, meron tayong mga agam-agam in life, agam-agam in our existence.

He introduced the concept of existential dichotomies. Na tayong tao lang ang nakakaranas. We are constantly thinking or contemplating about life and death. We are constantly conceptualizing the goal of self-realization, pero naiisip natin that life is short. 'Ba may mga ganon ba kayong instances? Hindi para sa future ko ito, pero maya-maya, ha, hindi. Life is short, break some rules.

Nandun tayo sa contemplation na ngayon. Ang iksi na nga lang ng buhay, eh paano kung hanggang ganito lang yung buhay ko? E hindi ko to nagawa kasi masyado akong futuristic. Nandun tayo sa dichotomy na yun, eh. At yung huling-huli daw ay yung thought that people are ultimately alone. Alone tayo, but we have to accept that we are alone.

Yun nga lang, we cannot tolerate this isolation, yung feelings of aloneness natin. Nakuha niyo ba? Ang mga ibon na lumilipad, they do not think about bakit ganon. Hindi pantay yung f ko, yung mga f babies natin ba. May nagkak sila kung saan o kumakain sila sa floor. They do not really care about it so much. Bakit? Kasi yung intelligence nila limited lang.

Parang yung aso, ha, naman sila. Siguro nagco-contribute ni baby. Bakit binigay ko naman lahat, pero kulang pa rin? 'Ba bakit ang dami nating mga thoughts? 'Ba ayoko maging alone. Gusto ko may purpose ako in life. Yon. So yun ang difference daw. We have the human dilemma.

And with that, according to Eric Fromm, we have these human needs. Itong human needs na to are specifically for humans. Pero tayo, as animals, we are animal beings as well. Part of us, we are motivated by physiological needs. We are motivated to food, 'ba, to sleep, to safety and security. Pero itong human dilemma cannot be satisfied by our animalistic needs.

Only daw this distinctive human needs na tinawag pa niyang existential needs that we are able to move forward or we are able to be reunited with the natural world by satisfying these human needs. Okay, itong existential needs daw have emerged during the evolution of human culture, growing out of their efforts or attempts to find answers to their existence.

Why am I here? What is my purpose? At sabi ni Eric Fromm, ito rin daw ang human needs na to came out of the ability or yung nag-evolve tayo. Ba, yung efforts natin nila noon ng mga tao to avoid becoming insane in this very cruel world.

Okay, so isa-isahin daw natin ang mga human needs or existential needs. Again, tayong mga tao lang ang meron nito. Kaya nga human needs. But in us, there is also this animal needs. We have relatedness. Ayan, simple naman yung salitang relatedness. 'Ba, it is the first human or existential need. It is the drive for union with another person or other persons.

Okay, sabi ni Eric Fromm, there are three ways daw in which we relate to the world. Unang-una, we submit, 'ba, or pwedeng through power, and syempre through love. A person could submit to another person or to a group of people para maramdaman natin that we are one with the world. Ba, yung feeling na alone, medyo mahirap siya, masakit siya.

No man is an island nga daw. So in this way, he is able to become part of a bigger something, something bigger than himself. Kaya yung iba, they join churches, they join organizations, or they join fraternities, 'ba, or they join any group, or they form groups, they form friendships.

Okay, eh kasi daw itong mga to, itong experiences natin dito, it allows us to have this reuniting or reunion with the world through satisfying our first need, relatedness. So may mga tao daw na submissive at meron namang tao na power seeker. Ang tawag niya sa submissive ay submissive person.

Yes, hirap, Ma'am. Tapos yung tawag sa mga power seekers, dominant. So ito daw yung dominant and submissive na mga tao when they are in a group or when they interact with each other or when they form a relationship. Ang tawag daw doon ay symbiotic relationship.

If that relationship that they have blocks the growth towards integrity and psychological health, take note na hindi masama na sumama sa mga taong tingin mong powerful or people who make you feel unalone. Pero may mga relationships kasi that aren't growth-producing. Halimbawa, kahit na yun nga, nasasaktan ka na or kahit na feeling mo abused ka, but because you need another person to be there for you.

Okay lang, sige, submit lang ng submit. Yung isa naman, power seeker siya. Welcome sa kanya ang mga tao na submit ng submit. Tagasunod itong symbiosis na 'may be satisfying but it's not helpful.

Sa sabi nga dito sa ating slide, the two partners in a symbiotic relationship live on each other and from each other. They satisfy their craving for closeness, yet they are suffering from the lack of inner strength and self-reliance, which would require freedom and independence.

Oh, Ma'am, so you mean kahit na when we relate with people, we have to understand that there is this element of individuality? The element of individuality. Kaya nga sabi ni Fromm, the only route by which a person can become united with the world and at the same time achieve individuality and integrity is through what he termed as love.

Yes, may pa-love. Oo, dine niya yung love as the union with somebody or something outside oneself on the condition of retaining the separateness. Yan ha, in-underline ko yan, the separateness and integrity of one's own self, your own self.

So in the process, kahit na nakipagkaibigan ka lang, kahit na parte ka ng pamilya, kahit na parte ka ng grupo, kahit sabihin mo na sila ang humubog sa'yo, at the end of the day, you must have the you in you. Ikaw pa rin, sikat. Ako pa rin, sikat. Ikaw pa rin, sikat, Ma'am. Ikaw yun, Ma'am. Okay ka lang, Ma'am?

So ikaw pa rin si Abigail, ikaw pa rin si Aileen. Kahit na nasa isang grupo ka, kahit nasa relationship ka na merong ako at merong ikaw, pero meron din tayong. Yes, Ma'am, walang kami eh. Ayun lang, hindi char lang.

So love, also according to Eric Fromm, involves the sharing and communion with one another. I like this kasi na-recall ko dito yung konsepto sa psikolohiya ng Pilipino na kapwa. 'Ba, meron tayong shared humanity para kay Adler.

Gain, shared. But in this love that is healthy, it allows us to be the person na merong freedom, may kalayaan to be unique and to be separate, pero you're still part of that group. Hindi yung, ano, o sige, pag umalis ka, tumiwalag ka dito sa samahan natin o sa pagkakaibigan natin, wala ka na. Ah, hindi ka na namin kikilalanin.

Ah, teka lang, o sige, pag iba yung tinake mong course o pag ikaw highest diyan, friendship over na tayo o itatakwil ka na namin sa friendship natin. Di ba? Hindi daw ganon yung healthy type of love.

Okay, kasi in a healthy type of relationship, it should enable a person to satisfy the need for relatedness without you surrendering your integrity and independence. Because in love, I always like to say this kasi it's also a personal reminder for me. In love, two people become one, yet they remain two.

Even when they are married or in your friendship, in best friends, ba, in squad goals, ganyan na tinatawag, or in a family, in love, a group of people become one, yet they remain, kung ilan man kayo, kung lima kayo, still you remain five.

Okay, tandaan natin yan. So si Eric Fromm, sa libro niya na "The Art of Loving," that I encourage you to read, lalo na kung meron namang available na copy nito sa open resources online, sabi niya, there are four elements that are common to all forms of genuine love.

Marami kasing pwedeng expression ng love, eh. Ng genuine love, pwedeng merong familial love, merong brotherly love, merong love for the self. Pero sabi niya, unang-una, someone who loves another person must care for that person and be willing to take care of him or her.

Okay, so you should care for that person. Kung talagang mahal mo siya, hindi yung wala kang pakialam. So dalhin natin is, sorry ha, kung yung iba dito, Ma'am, hindi naman ako makarelate sa mga example mo, parang lahat na lang love life. Sige, dalhin natin doon sa friendship.

So if you're a real friend, you should be able to care for that person. P nakikita mo na medyo nalilihis na siya ng landas, be there. Tap that person. Hoy, ayos ka lang ba? I'm not telling you to be the counselor of that person. Hindi ko sinabi ipa-psychotherapy mo siya. You just have to care for that person, be willing to take charge of that person, lalo na kapag kailangan ka niya.

Okay, sunod naman, love also meant being responsible. Ba, be responsive. P may mga kailangan siya. You have to be willing to help, kahit na minsan ba hassle sa'yo. Pero pag mahalaga sa'yo yung tao, what happens? You should be able to attend to the needs, not only physically but also psychologically.

Okay, but aside from that, from the care, from the responsibility, dapat daw merong respeto. Okay, you should be able, or we should be able to respect people as who they are, and we should avoid the temptation of changing that person.

Yes, most of the time, ba, masama yan parao magbago ka kasi ikaw, nase-stress ka kasi pilit mong binabago yung ibang tao. Kahit sa mga parents natin, 'ba, we want them to change. Pero minsan kasi, it's not our call to change other people. Nakakapagod yun.

Pero ano yung, ano yung, yung responsibility natin? It is for us to help that person realize or appreciate the effects kapag nag-adjust sila. Pero as part of respecting them, you should not aim to change that person.

Eh, Ma'am, paano kung for the good? If ayaw niya, wala kang magagawa. But what you can do is be constantly there for that person. Pero yung changing, hindi ikaw ang magdedesisyon niyan, hindi tayo.

Okay, but people, tayong mga tao, we can only respect a person if we know them, if we know their needs, if we know who they are. And to know them, to know other people, we need to see them from their own point of view, to understand saan ba yung pinaghuhugutan niya. Bakit ba ganito yung nararanasan niya, ganito nararamdaman niya?

Okay, so care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge are all entwined in a loving relationship. Ang ganda, ba, da? Yung genuine love na ito, elements na nakikita sa all forms na genuine love.

Now, ito yung isa rin sa mga favorite ko na sinabi ni Fromm. Sabi niya, care and responsibility are constituent elements of love. Pero daw, without respect and knowledge of the beloved person, yung love na yan will deteriorate into what, Ma'am? Domination daw and possessiveness.

Teka lang. So ibig sabihin, if you just keep on caring for that person and you feel responsible, anong gagawin mo? Kokontrolin mo siya. Eh, huwag ka diyan, huwag kasi ganyan yung damit mo. Huwag ka kasing mag-post ng ganyan. Huwag ka ng mag-ano. Huwag ka ng mag-psychology, mahirapan ka diyan, hindi mo yan kaya.

'Ba nandun yung element na, ah, nagke-care siya sa akin, they feel responsible pag may nangyaring masama sa'yo. Ha? Pero nasaan doon yung element ng respect? Nasaan doon yung element ng knowledge? Alam mo ba yung gusto nung tao? Alam mo ba yung gusto ng friend mo? Alam mo ba ano yung pinagdadaanan niya? Bakit niya yun pinipili?

So dapat daw laging present yung care, respect, responsibility, and knowledge para daw hindi mo i-date yung tao, para hindi mo siya i-possess. Kasi after all, kailangan hindi mawala yung individuality in any type of relationship. Individuality, yung ikaw.

Pero bago yan, ang tanong dito, sino ba ako, Ma'am? 'Ba, sino ka ba? Ano po ba ako? Hindi ko nga po alam, eh. Kaya i-apply mo rin sa sarili mo yung tinatawag na self-love. Ano yun, Ma'am? You should have self-care, self-respect, self-responsibility, self-knowledge. I-apply mo rin sa sarili mo.

Okay, pero hindi, hindi natin sinabi na puro na lang ikaw. Kasi according to Eric Fromm, love meant overcoming our narcissism. He agreed, even Freud agreed, na as a child, we have this what we call primary narcissism. Na para sa mga infant, ang tanging nagmamatter lang ay sila, yung pangangailangan ng katawan nila.

But as we grow, as we are exposed to society, natututunan natin na yung pangangailangan natin ay kasing halaga din ng pangangailangan ng ibang tao. At yung pangangailangan ng ibang tao ay kasing halaga rin ng pangangailangan natin. Ba, natututo tayong magkaroon ng empathy sa ibang tao.

At syempre, we also learn to look at ourselves, to understand ourselves, to see our... Ba, ang interesting lang ito nga yun. Fromm starts exposition on love by arguing that to be human, para maging tao, kailangan aware ka na ikaw bilang isang individual is a separate entity.

Ibig sabihin, hindi ka lang anak ng nanay mo, hindi ka lang jowa ng jowa mo. Apart from that, you are someone. Okay, pero pag inisip mo kasi yun, we experience this feeling or sense of aloneness and separateness. And the only way to overcome this pron of aloneness, according to Eric Fromm, is through love and love alone.

Yes, lover boy ba? Lover boy siya ba? Through love. And what type of love? Sabi natin, yung genuine love or yung mature love. Again, the type of love, the mature love is the union under the condition of preserving your integrity, your individuality.

Okay, clear tayo diyan. Usad tayo sa other human needs. So na-discuss na natin yung relatedness, the need to unite with another person. Pero as you unite with another person, you should also have your sense of identity.

Okay, it is the capacity to be aware of ourselves as a separate one. It is to be able to say, I am I. Ako to. I am the subject of my actions. I am in charge of my life.

Okay, yun nga lang, hindi lahat daw nare-realize na there is an "I" in this relationship or in this life. You should have this sense of identity. Kasi without the sense of identity, you could not retain your sanity.

Okay, you could not retain your sanity kapag hindi mo malaman kung ano ka ba. So ang tendency, you attach yourself to other people, to powerful people, o pwedeng mag-submit ka na lang, or ikaw yung maging dominant.

Okay, tandaan natin that healthy people have the less need to conform to the general population and the less need to give up their sense of identity. Kumbaga, be confident in who you are. You do not have to surrender your freedom and individuality.

Okay, sunod, transcendence. I like this. Sabi, ah, to transcend is to rise above a passive and accidental na existence. 'Ba, it's the need to rise above our animal nature. It can be in the form of creating or destructing.

What do you mean by that, Ma'am? So tayo daw as an individual, we have the capacity to create. Okay, like, yun nga lang, ang animals, ganon din. Although yung ibang animals daw can create life, 'ba, they reproduce. Pero tanging ang tao lang ang aware na meron tayong kakayanan na maging creator.

We are creative in different ways. We create religion, we create arts. Kung ano man yung art ninyo, ano yung passion niyo, 'di ba? For some people, they are in charge of creating the law. They create outputs, they create love.

And to create means to be active and to care about what we create. Okay, so next, as you transcend, do not forget that you should also be rooted. Ano yung root? To establish roots or to feel at home.

Again, in this world, remember, sabi ko nga, when humans daw evolve as separate species, they lost their home in the natural world. Iniisip ko dito, eh, kasi before, ba, kung naniniwala kayo sa evolution, we were once an animal.

Ma'am, yung iba hanggang ngayon, animal eh. Wala, ak sining. Gan, ha? Pero Ma'am, ba, ikaw yung may sabi? Sabi lang naman ng iba diyan, ma, parang yung iba dito, hindi nag-evolve, animal pa rin ang ugali.

Yung before nga, ah, you could survive kahit walang WiFi, walang internet. Pero ngayon, nagbago na yung norms, e. Yung culture, nagkaroon na ng technology, and this created the sense of loneliness na naman and isolation in us.

Okay, and the only way to connect to this world is by satisfying this set of needs, itong existential needs na tinawag na human needs. At kasama dito yung rootedness. Kasi nandito yung capacity natin na we think that we do not have a home. Wala na tayong roots.

So dahil dito, yung feelings of isolation natin becomes not tolerable. So rootedness is to simply connect or to be part of a group. Kaya nga, di ba, kahit na ang layo na ng nararating ng ibang tao, still bumabalik-balik pa rin sila sa pinanggalingan nila.

Still hinahanap-hanap mo pa rin yung family. Kahit na sabihin mo na hindi masaya yung family setup ninyo, but when you're with family, it's just comforting. Kahit everyday, Ma'am, it's a struggle. Pero yun nga, to see your mom, your dad, your sister, or someone from your early years, 'ba, ay may comfort.

Kaya yung iba rin, kahit na naging bansa na, masarap na ang buhay sa ibang bansa, umuuwi pa rin sa origin nila, kahit sa province pa yan. Kasi this is part of our need to be rooted.

So relate, but never lose your sense of identity. Transcend, but also be rooted.

Okay, sunod naman, yung tinawag na excitation. So ang excitation could lead to transcendence. Excitation is the need to be in a stimulating and changing environment. We do not want stagnant things, ba. Parang, ayun na yun, Ma'am, paulit-ulit na lang po yung nangyayari.

Ah, gigising po ako, magbubukas ng cellphone o ng PC, kung ano man yung gamit niyo. Makikinig, tutunganga, di ba? Tapos hihiga, matutulog, tas kakain, tutulog, tutunganga ulit, nakikinig lang, wala naman akong naiintindihan, nagpapanggap na nag-aaral, tutulog ulit. Ma-parang paulit-ulit na lang po, ba.

So we do not want that stagnancy. Kaya nga even in work, yung mga nagtatrabaho na, kung naririnig niyo yung sinasabi na, "Hindi na kasi ako masaya sa trabaho ko." O 'ba, before nung umpisa pa lang, ah, ang aim lang naman ay kumita. Pero nung kumikita na sila, they wanted more. Kasi we want to be in an environment that is challenging.

Okay, so kahit na gusto natin, we need this excitation, we should also have this frame of orientation. Okay, it is the final human need. So humans need a roadmap. Okay, yun daw yung frame of orientation natin o yung tinawag niya na roadmap.

This roadmap is a consistent view of the world. Kailangan daw meron tayong object of devotion. Simplehan lang natin. When you decide on things, meron kang tama at mali, 'ba, na konsepto. Merong hindi pwede, merong pwede. Meron kang standards ng normal, not normal.

Ito daw ay mga under ng ating frame of orientation. We have to have a guide, we have to have a direction, we have to have specific standards. Yun nga lang, sa atin, ang example nito, KC, para hindi kayo malito, yung morals natin.

Okay, yung mga pinaniniwalaan natin na merong someone for you na dapat ganito, dapat ganyan. This will serve as your guide in this world. Kasi nga, unang, you are separated from the world. So you need a frame of orientation to go along with it.

Kasi we are alienated in this world. Ah, dati, okay ako with nature, pero it's a different thing now. A roadmap. Yun nga lang, without a goal daw or destination is worthless.

So humans have the capacity, mental capacity, to imagine. Ano ba yung mangyayari in the future? Ano ba yung mangyayari sa atin pagkatapos ng pandemic na 'to? O ano ba yung mga na-vision ko na gusto kong i-achieve in life?

Okay, to Eric Fromm, itong goal daw na to na tinawag niya or the object of devotion focuses people's energy in a single direction, which enables us to not be lost. Naranasan niyo na ba na parang hindi niyo alam kung ano mangyayari sa buhay ninyo?

Ah, Ma'am, parang ngayon po ba yun? Ba, at least meron kayong gustong tahakin na landas. Hindi man ganon ka-linaw pa, you're still on your second gear, 'ba. Marami pang pwedeng mangyari.

Even ako, nung second year ako, I don't know kung saan ako mapupunta, anong mangyayari sa akin. Parang everyday is just surviving. Ah, hindi ko naman inisip na, ah, may board exam pala ang S. Kasi ganun yung batch namin, hindi pa well-introduced sa amin yung board exam.

So ang gusto ko lang, grumaduate, makahanap ng trabaho, magkapera, medyo mag-asawa, medyo magkaanak. Gan, tas syempre kasama na din yung matulungan yung nanay ko, mga kapatid ko, may ahon sa hirap. Ganun lang. Pero this one is my object of devotion.

So wala namang specific na dapat ganito yung mangyari, ito yung tama, ito yung mali. Pero it gives meaning, it gives direction to our life. So ito daw, Eric Fromm, these are the human needs.

So simplehan ulit natin, recap lang ng konti. To Eric Fromm, man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve. 'Ba, hindi naman problema nga ng favorite ko yung mga ibon, mga aso, pusa.

Hindi nila problema yung existence nila, eh. 'Ba, kahit saan lang yan matulog o kahit wala yang degree, ayos lang yan. Kahit na dirty yung kinain nila, kayo parang I'm sad, yung hair ko dry na, deads na siya, di ba? Ang dami kong pimples.

Sila naman, marami silang galis. Hindi nila problema yung mga simpleng bagay na ganon. Hindi nila yun na-pe-pressure. Not go back to the pre-state of harmony with nature. May nag-joke sa isang klasiko, Ma'am, 'ba, pwede naman tayo ulit maging unggoy. Paano? Paano yung unggoy?

Hi, hindi eh. Ano, meron na tayong intelligence na tinatawag, eh. What we could do is to proceed to develop our reason. Until what? Until we become the master of our nature and of himself. The master of who we are.

So parang in layman's term, i-master mo yung ikaw, yung talents mo, yung capabilities mo, yung weakness mo, yung strength mo. Iniisip ko, this is Fromm calling us to what? Simply calling us to self-actualization, self-realization. Kung sa ibang mga theories, di ba, be the best version of who you are.

Yun nga lang, sa kanya, meron siyang mga sinabi na elements para daw mag-self-realize ka. Okay, so to Eric Fromm, we are the only animal na merong tinawag na self-awareness. Di ba, merong imagination, merong reason.

Ah, kaya tinawag daw tayo na freaks of the universe. Okay, our ability to reason, our intelligence, and this intelligence, this reason was said to be both a curse to us. Tayong mga sinumpa, 'ba, pero it's also a blessing.

It is a curse kasi naramdaman mo na alone ka. Ikaw yung nga nakapag-isip-isip ka sa gabi, di ba? Why am I? Why do I feel so empty? From the perspective of Eric Fromm, ha, it's because you are separated with the natural world.

And you have to satisfy your human needs, your existential needs para maka-connect ka ulit. It's a blessing kasi kahit na we feel this feelings of isolation and loneliness, we also have the process that allows us or that enables humans to work to become reunited with the world.

May solusyon naman pala. But as we accept that we are separate, that we are not one with nature anymore, it meant that we are free. Tinawag niya itong burden na to, na burden of freedom.

Most of the time, we do not want freedom kasi kalakip ng freedom ang maraming bagay. Freedom meant being responsible. Di ba, let's say you go and live a separate life from your guardians or kung sino man yung tinitirahan mo ngayon.

Ngayon, syempre, depende. Iyung general, ah, hindi ko naman kayo lahat kilala. Pero once you decide to live on your own, you become responsible for your actions, you become responsible for your decisions.

And most of the time, when we become free, when we choose to be like this, when we declare that this is me, kaakibat ng pagtaliwas ng ibang tao, kaakibat ng responsibilidad. Paminsan-minsan, ha, hindi ko alam yung mga specific na pinagdadaanan niyo.

And to Eric Fromm, we cannot tolerate or sometimes we cannot handle the responsibility of freedom. It becomes a burden to us, and we run away from freedom. Yun yung nangyayari talaga, Ma'am.

Yes, most of the time, we do in simple ways. Like, we'd like someone to take responsibility for our actions. O sige, pag nagalit si Ma'am, di ako kasali diyan. Ah, o pag nagalit si Mama, ikaw bahala diyan. Ah, wala akong ano diyan. Ah, hindi ko kasalanan yan.

In this way, we will not be blamed if things go wrong. Ito nga example, may nagtatanong sa akin, Ma'am, magbo-board exam po ba ako this year? Ikaw, sa tingin mo? Ikaw bahala, Ma'am. Ikaw na lang mag-decide.

Sabi kasi ng parents ko, ano daw eh, ako daw ang bahala. Yun nga ang mahirap, 'ba. May freedom ka kasi whatever the result is, it is you who is responsible for it. 'Ba, wala ka daw.

Minsan daw, we need other people. Sinusurprise, di ba? Yan yung makulit. So ang tanong, typically daw, how do we run away from freedom? Ulitin, tinawag ni Eric Fromm na mechanisms of escape.

Itong running away from freedom. So kung si Horney, merong protective devices. Si Alfred Adler, may safeguarding tendency. Si Sigmund Freud, merong defense mechanism. So si Fromm ay merong mechanisms of escape.

Okay, because basic anxiety produces a frightening sense of isolation and aloneness. So people attempt to flee from it. Unlike Horney, neurotic trends, mechanisms of escape are the driving force in normal people, both as individuals and as a group.

Unahin natin yung authoritarianism. Fromm defined authoritarianism as the tendency to give up your independence and to fuse it with somebody else or something outside yourself in order to acquire the strength which the individual is lacking.

So yung iba, hinahanap nila yung identity nila sa church na kinabibilangan nila, or sa organization na kinabibilangan nila, o sa partner nila, o sa parents nila. Hwag ka ngang magulo, anak ako ni ganito, anak ako ng ano, ng presidente ng mundo, anak ako ng presidente ng universe. Hwag kang ano.

Okay, so may mga tao na nag-yun, or they choose to be with a powerful partner, or they choose to be the person who overtakes or controls people who are weaker than them.

So una, we have the term masochism. Itong mga masochistic, it results from the basic feelings of powerlessness, yung weakness, yung inferiority. So ang goal nito is to not feel alone.

So how do they do it? Um, sige, ikaw na magdecide. Saan kung ano yung sasabihin ko, ay kung ano sasabihin mo, susundin ko. Hwag mo lang akong iwan.

So ang masochism daw, it's disguised oftentimes as love or loyalty. But then again, I would ask you, ba, hindi mo siya maiwan? Ma'am, mahal ko. Criteria ni Fromm, hindi daw yun love.

Lalo na kapag nawawala ka doon sa sitwasyon. O tap mo yung sarili mo. Tap mo yung sarili mo, hoy, hoy, manatili ka, nagising, labanan ninyo ang antok.

Okay, naunawaan niyo yon? Isipin ninyo, is this a masochistic striving? Am I giving up my individuality para hindi ko ma-feel na left out ako? Or is this really love?

Okay, so compared naman with masochism, ang sadism naman is more neurotic. It's more harmful. But like masochism, sadism aims to reduce the feeling of anxiety by achieving it through connecting with other people.

Pero ang mga sadistic na strivings daw ay most likely mayroong number one, they make others depend on them. They gain power over the weak. Kumbaga, may pagka-manipulative ka. Gagawa sila ng way para kailanganin mo sila.

So ito namang tao na may masochistic strivings, talagang dalang-dala, h'ko siya maiwan. Sige, wala kang kwenta, wala nang magmamahal sa'yo. Umalis ka sa relasyon na to. Pero hindi ganon.

Not a pangalawa, ginagawa or pwedeng mo ng mga tao na sadistic strivings, they use other people. They take advantage of them para sa sarili nilang gain, or to make them suffer sa kahit anong paraan.

All right, that is authoritarianism. So ito daw yung way nila to let go or to go away from freedom. We cannot tolerate it.

Sunod is destructiveness. Destructiveness seeks to eliminate objects or persons perceived as dangerous. So kung yung authoritarianism, it depends on a continuous relationship with another person, ang destructiveness naman, it wants to do away with other people.

Iniisip ko nga, eh, ito ba ang destructiveness? Maaaring katulad siya nung konsepto ni Karen Horney na moving against people. Kasi, according to our reference material, itong destructiveness, people who use destructiveness, they employ it as a defense mechanism.

Tuloy, Sigmund Freud, a mechanism of escape by destroying people and objects. 'Ba, para saan? Nambu-bully ka? Para saan? Bakit mo gustong laging may kaaway? Bakit mo gusto laging nakikipagbugbugan? Bakit? Kasi by destroying people or other groups or the outputs of other people, narestore mo yung feelings of power mo.

Kaya nga ba yung mga sabi nila, Fromm, kung siguro ganito yung framework mo, people or children who bully feel weak at home. Maing gan, kung dito tayo manggagaling sa proposal or yung sinasabi na tenet ni Eric Fromm.

Okay, next naman, conformity. A third mean of escape is conformity. So people or automaton conformity dito, they try to escape from feelings of aloneness and isolation by just giving up everything. Kahit na ano, against yun sa desires nila, they become what other people want them to be.

Sabi nga dito, they become like robots. Very predictable, very obedient. Wala yan, masyadong opinyon. Susunod lang yan. Hindi yan problema sa kanila. They claim to and any expected standards. Sad, di ba? They conform.

So as they conform, they feel more powerless. And the more powerless they feel, they will conform. Minsan, sige na, labanan mo naman. Tumayo ka naman sa kung ano yung pinaninindigan mo. Hindi, sige, ayos lang, okay na yan.

So according to Eric Fromm, people daw can break this cycle of conformity and powerlessness only by achieving self-realization or what he called positive freedom.

Okay, positive freedom is a spontaneous expression of your rational and your emotional potentialities. Sabi nga dito, a person can be free and not alone. You can be critical yet not filled with doubts. You can be independent and yet an integral part of mankind.

So positive freedom represents the solution to our human dilemma of being part of the natural world, pero separate tayo from it. So through positive freedom and spontaneous activity, people overcome the fear or the terror of being aloneness or being alone.

We achieve union with the world and maintain our individuality, our integrity. Okay, Fromm believes that may two components daw ang positive freedom. Una daw, yung love and work na tinawag niya.

Only through active love and active work can humans unite with one another and the world without sacrificing who you are. So you can be unique and you can achieve your potentialities through positive freedom.

All right, now let's proceed to character orientations. We're almost done. Ah, Fromm believed that character is a substitute for our instincts. So instead of people acting according to their instincts, they act according to their character.

So we relate to the world by being productive or being nonproductive. So ito daw yung nonproductive character orientations. Gumamit si Fromm ng term na nonproductive to suggest na this one fails us or it suggests that itong strategies na to doesn't move us or push us closer to positive freedom and self-realization na sinasabi nga natin, 'ba.

Pero itong nonproductive orientations, hindi naman siya totally 100% negative. It says that there are positive and negative aspects of it. After all, ang personality daw natin is a combination of this character orientations.

Okay, so unahin natin yung receptive na character. If you have this receptive character, you believe that all good lies outside yourself and that the only way you can relate to the world is to receive the good things from other people.

So ano yung mga kabig? Kasi you believe that, yun nga, everything that is good doesn't come from you, it comes from other people. So ang result, you have low self-esteem, you have low self-confidence, you're passive, you're submissive.

Pero ang kagandahan dito, kapag ganito, yung character mo, you're loyal, you're accepting, and you're trusting of other people.

Okay, sunod naman, yung exploitative. Like receptive people, exploitative characters believe that all good lies outside them. Yun nga lang, they take things aggressively. Halimbawa, typically daw, an exploitative person, a person with exploitative character, may fall in love with a person who is already married.

Pero hindi talaga siya maar, hindi niya talagang mahal yung tao, but dahil merong gusto niyang nakawin or i-take aggressively yung meron yung iba. Nakuha ninyo? In the real realm of ideas, exploitative people prefer to steal or copy or plagiarize rather than creating their own or rather than being creative.

Okay, ang negative aspect nito, syempre, mayabang, arogante, parang seducing. Positive side naman, they're proud, they're charming, they're self-confident.

Okay, sunod naman, hoarding. Ha, hoarding. Rather than valuing things outside of them, ang mga hoarding characters, they seek to save things that they already have obtained. They hold everything inside and do not easily let go of any.

They keep their feelings. Ayan, taguan ng feelings. Tinatago nila yung money nila, tinatago nila yung mga possessions nila, yung thoughts nila sa kanila lang. Tapos in a loving relationship, kapag nag-relax naman nung isa, hindi. Kaya nga pag-usapan natin para hindi umuulit.

Hindi kung, ah, kung okay na tayo dati, huwag na tayo, huwag na nating baguhin yung ngayon. So ayaw nilang mag-grow, 'ba. Yun yung paraan nila. So ang tendency, they're not creative. They're bound or they're living in the past.

Okay, so hoarding daw is saving what one has already obtained and merong inability to let go kahit na, ah, hindi na siya ganun kahalaga. Kasi sa kanya, lahat ay mahalaga.

Hmm, next, marketing character. Ito, mahirap to, eh. Kasi this is more of being a puppet, the society's puppet. Ganun. So whatever you want me to be, I will be. I am as you desire me.

Sabi nga daw, I can be who you want. Gusto mo ba ng tiktoker through the weekend? Ganun ba? O gusto mo ba ng gunrist? 'Ba, param-pam-pam. Ganun ba? Ano bang gusto mo? Gusto mo ba ng magaling sa statistics? Ah, score minus mean all over standard deviation. Yun po yung, ano, yun po yung formula ng Z score.

O gusto mo ba? Ano bang gusto mo? Pwedeng maging ako. Come on. Pero ang tanong, sa dami ng mga role na pine-play mo, sa dami ng role na pino-project mo, sino ka?

I can be who you want me to be. Parang hunyango. O pag kasama ko, Ma'am, ba, hindi naman masama yun. Okay lang mag-adjust, ba. Okay lang, like when you're with friends who are somewhat gly. Ikaw din, lumalabas yung pagig mo.

Pero iba yung wala ka ng individuality. Sino ka ba? Ano bang personality mo? Ma'am, I can be who you want me to be. Just tell me. Wow, wow naman.

Okay, so next. So ito daw yung continuum. Ito, yung average development, you would see in the middle. So you develop the syndrome of growth. If you have this, may biophilia, may love for life, you love others, and may element ng positive freedom.

But if you are moving towards the other side, you will develop the syndrome of decay. Ano po yung syndrome of decay, Ma'am? This includes our personality disorders. By the way, the term necrophilia, okay, in a generalized sense daw, this is the attraction to death.

So ang mga tao na merong necrophilia, ah, they do not love life. They hate humanity. Parang galit lang sila sa world. Gusto nila yung mga pinapanood, yung mga patayan. Tapos napaka-racist nila na bully, bully, bully with a v.

They are strong advocates of law and order, but they love to talk about death. They want bloodshed. They love to work in darkness. Yung mga katiwalian, nandiyan sa lahat.

Note na yung mga necrophilic people, they do not simply behave in a destructive manner, ha. But rather, their destructive behavior is a reflection of their basic character.

At tayong lahat, we behave aggressively and destructively. Sim, okay, it's not bad to appreciate yourself, to have an interest in your own body. Pero yung malignant narcissism stops you from perceiving the real self.

Okay, so ang nangyayari, ikaw lang, lang, ikaw. Ikaw yung magaling, ikaw yung matalino. Infatuation with the self nga daw. Parang katulad nito, yung kay Horney na neurotic claims, 'ba, you are the best, I am so perfect. Pero hindi naman siguro ganon.

Maaari, yung mga common ay yung, I don't deserve you. Hindi ka graduate ng elementary. Gusto ko kasi may future ako, eh. Ayoko yung walang pinag-aralan. Wow, 'ba. Medyo kahit na mahal mo, no, no, no, no, no.

Pero ang nangyayari, the result is depression, the feeling of worthlessness. Why? Kasi we know that this malignant narcissism, it's just superficial. As you have this neurotic claims, kagaya nga nung kay Horney, yung tao, they depend their on their created image na very far from reality.

Okay, sunod naman na element ng syndrome of decay is the incest symbiosis. Ito, tinawag nila na mother fixation. Ma'am, is it bad to be dependent on other people? No, but if you have this parasitic relationship, specifically with your mom or your dad, hindi ka makapagdesisyon on your own.

Ba, or pwedeng hindi nga parents yung ano mo, yung tinatawag na host. Yung ikaw, yung parasite. Meron kang host, yung parang ginagatasan mo. Pwedeng yung hinahanap mo yung identity mo sa organization, or sa business, or sa church na kinabibilangan mo, o sa family mo.

Okay, so itong incestuous orientation na to, it stops you from experiencing or expressing authentic love, and it prevents you from being independent. Kasi naka-asa ka, it stops you from being independent because you are dependent.

All right, there. So ano daw yung goal ng psychotherapy ni Eric Fromm? Simple lang, the satisfaction of the human needs. So ang aim ng kanyang therapy is for the patients to know their individuality.

Kasi if you do not know yourself, we cannot know any other person or you cannot see other perspectives. Typically daw, yung mga patient niya, he believed that they come to him to satisfy the basic human needs.

Right? Ang makulit pa dito, as I was reading, naalala ko, sabi ni Eric Fromm, yung mga therapist daw, dapat hindi daw masyado scientific. Isipin mo ba, we are in a very scientific era.

So it's up to you. It's your responsibility to go along, go ahead and explore. Or, 'ba, sa bandang dulo ng mga libro, kriti yung mga theory. Saan mababa yung research evidences? And it's our task to go ahead and validate kung ano yung mga claims nila and apply those you think that are applicable and drop those that aren't.

'Ba, kasi hindi naman lahat ng sinasabi nila ay applicable. Kaya nga meron tayong tinatawag na eclectic approach. So sabi niya, hindi daw dapat masyado scientific ang mga therapist sa kanilang patients.

So ano daw dapat? Kapag daw nagkaroon tayo ng attitude na relatedness, doon mo lang daw mauunawaan yung client mo. So yung therapist, they should not view the patient as having an illness or as an illness or isang bagay.

Pero dapat daw, tingnan mo siya bilang isang tao na meron ding human needs, kagaya mo. Na lahat tayo ay merong human needs. Yun nga lang, kaya siya nagpapa-api kasi in one of the needs, nagkaroon ng problema sa pag-address nito, sa pag-satisfy nito.

All right, so I'm letting you read on your own the concept of humanity. I'm closing this session with one of my favorite quotes. Parang, Ma'am, lahat na lang, no? Meron kang mga favorite quotes? Yeah, I think so, except kay Sigmund Freud, h, masyado. Pero yung bias ko, personal bias, ha, nandito na papunta sa mga padulong theory.

Pero lahat, parang lahat naman favorites with an S. So to him, love is an action. It's not just words. Sabi pa nga, love is a commitment. It's a conscious commitment. It's not just saying I love you in simple words.

It is the practice of human power, which can only be done and can only be practiced in freedom. Kailangan, kailangan ma-feel ko na safe ako. Mahal kita, kasi kailangan kita. Mahal mo siya kasi kailangan mo siya. O kailangan mo siya kasi mahal mo siya, ba?

You should be able to express love not for your own desire, not for your own need. Isip ko nga, it's the abundance of the heart. Yes, love, guro ka, girl.

Hindi naman, syempre, may mga pagkukulang pa rin tayo, may mga misjudgments pa rin tayo. Pero balik tayo kay Eric Fromm. Sabi pa niya, when you love, let the person grow and unfold for their own sake, on their own way, on their own path.

Ikaw din, gawin mo rin yun sa sarili mo. Be patient, ba. But as you love other people, let them grow, not for your sake, but for their own. Yes, that's the end of our discussion.