Transcription
Asalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Alhamdulillahi rabbil alamin. Wabihi nasta'in ala umuri dunia wa din.
[Music]
Allahumma amin.
Alhamdulillah, we express our gratitude to Allah, Tabaraka wa Ta'ala, for the blessings He has bestowed upon us. May peace and blessings be upon Rasulullah, Alaihi wa Salam, along with his family, companions, and those who steadfastly follow his Sunnah until the Day of Judgment.
May Allah grant us beneficial knowledge and protect us from knowledge that is not useful. We ask Allah to always assist us and our brothers, especially those who are oppressed in Palestine and various places. May Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, improve our affairs and the affairs of our leaders, and protect us and our nation from all evils. Ameen, ya Rabbal alamin.
Alhamdulillah, thanks to His blessings, we gather again on this Friday, the best of days, a day filled with worship that is not found on other days. Today, there is the Friday prayer for men, and it is recommended to increase our salawat upon Rasulullah, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, to read Surah Al-Kahf, and to pray at the end of the day. Let us enhance our acts of worship in accordance with the Sunnah of Rasulullah, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
May this meeting be the beginning of goodness today, as explained by the scholars. This day is like a camel; if we can control its head, we can control its entire body, including its tail. The head of the camel refers to the morning. If we can maximize our morning, Allah will grant us the ability to utilize the day fully.
May Allah grant us guidance and success. As is customary, Friday morning is an interactive session, and we seek beneficial knowledge and distance ourselves from knowledge that is not useful.
Allah Ta'ala, bis asalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless the entire Muslim community. May Ustaz and the Muslim community always be blessed by Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. Ameen, ya Rabbal alamin.
I would like to ask, Ustaz, my child passed away at birth, and that was my first child. I am sincere, Ustaz, but lately, I feel envious of others who have been granted children by Allah. Is my feeling of envy normal? Am I sinful? How can I eliminate this envy? Barakallah fikum, jazakumullahu khairan.
Jazakumullahu khairan. First, do not forget to pray for Imam Nawawi; this is important. This is our issue as servants who are grateful. Allah says in Surah Ibrahim, and if we are not grateful, we will face various major problems.
And if you are ungrateful, My punishment is severe. The Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, said, "He who does not thank people does not thank Allah."
And the Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, said, "Whoever does good to you, repay him. If you cannot repay him, then pray for him." Just praying is the last option for good people and those who are grateful because the options above it are to repay and pray.
If we cannot repay, then pray. This is very important, even if we have already prayed for us and included us in the general Muslim community.
Clearly, Imam Nawawi emphasizes this, but specifically because we learn specifically.
If we receive a good deed from someone, we should be grateful for one. If we receive two, we should be grateful for two, not just one. If we receive three, we should be grateful for three, and so on.
As Allah never wrongs us, if we perform one good deed, Allah will appreciate it. If we do two, Allah will appreciate both, not just one. Allah will appreciate it tenfold or even more.
So, the mentality of gratitude is very important in our lives, and this will have a significant impact. Once again, our scholars gain beneficial knowledge not only because of intelligence, genius, or diligence, but because they are good at being grateful.
However, perhaps the questioner does not know this, or maybe they pray with their tongue, but because the context is written, we must emphasize this issue.
If we cannot pray for Imam Nawawi, from whom we gain knowledge every day, how can we treat others well who have never done us a favor? Pray for Imam Nawawi. Pray for our teachers.
May Allah have mercy on Imam Nawawi and his family, his parents, and his teachers. May Allah have mercy on all our teachers. Ameen, ya Rabbal alamin.
Regarding this matter, dear audience, the Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, said in a hadith narrated by Abu Dawud, "Children are in Paradise."
If they die, they will enter Paradise. In a hadith narrated by Muslim, "The children of the believers who die will enter Paradise and will not be separated from it."
This means they will not be separated from Paradise. We know from a hadith in Bukhari that deceased children will be cared for by Prophet Ibrahim, Alaihi Salam, as mentioned in the hadith.
Imam Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him, quoted the consensus of scholars that the children of Muslims who die will enter Paradise. There is no disagreement among scholars on this matter.
Thus, this is a virtue, not a loss. Therefore, those who are truly devastated or feel envious and sad when their child dies and see their friends with children may not understand this.
We need to evaluate our worldly orientation because if our orientation is the Hereafter, then no one is at a loss. This is a virtue that Allah has given.
What is our main goal in having children? Our main goal when we have children is to educate them to become righteous individuals and to enter Paradise.
When Allah decrees that they pass away in childhood, their mission of entering Paradise is fulfilled, which is a virtue. Just as when Allah decrees that our children live and grow into adulthood, we have a significant responsibility to educate them to become people of Paradise.
That is a heavy burden. Allah is Al-Hakim, dear audience. Allah is All-Wise. Allah knows how painful it is for a father and mother when their child dies young.
That is why Allah gives the good news that your children will enter Paradise, and this is the consensus of scholars. There is no disagreement, and this is the hadith of the Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, to comfort parents and explain to them that this is not in vain.
Their mission is complete; their child is placed in Paradise and will not be separated from it.
On the other hand, those whom Allah decrees to have children who live and enjoy worldly benefits from their children find joy in their children’s laughter and antics.
When they are in school, they bring pride, and as they grow up, they support their parents and cover all their worldly needs. This is a benefit that those whose children die young do not have.
But on the other hand, they have a significant responsibility to educate their children to become people of Paradise, which is incredibly challenging unless Allah grants mercy and guidance.
Thus, the tests of life are always a mix of positives and negatives. There is no situation that is purely positive or purely negative.
This is the essence of worldly tests.
As Allah states in the Quran in Surah Al-Anbiya, "And We test you with evil and good as a trial, and to Us you will be returned."
So, both good and evil are tests. It is not easy for those whose children die; their test is the pain of losing a child, the loneliness of not having a child, the loss of their child's smile, and the loss of their potential to support them as they age.
This is a significant loss, and this is the essence of the test.
But for those who have children and their children fulfill all these roles, their test is the test of gratitude to Allah and the test of educating them to become people of Paradise.
And that is not easy. No one can claim that one is easier than the other.
It is incredibly challenging to understand the concept of educating children as taught by Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, in the Quran and the Sunnah of Rasulullah, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
Imam Ibn Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, stated that most disobedient children are due to their parents, not because of the environment, friends, or social circles.
It is the parents who fail to build a strong foundation. Thus, when faced with a storm, they crumble.
As the scholars explain, Ibn Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, also said that parents will be judged before their children because, as mentioned, the good or bad of a child is greatly influenced by their parents, especially during their formative years.
I believe that those who have children, especially those whose children are already adults, understand this.
When children are still toddlers, they are adorable, and there are no issues. But we will see the results of our education when they reach middle school, high school, and college.
The results of our education from their early years will become evident.
The jury is still out on toddlers; they cannot be judged solely on their cuteness.
We will see how they handle social interactions, especially today, where they are already exposed to gadgets.
This will reflect the results of parental education.
As they progress through school, we will see the outcomes of our efforts.
For those who have experience with children, they know how challenging it is.
Thus, Allah is Al-Hakim, dear audience. Allah is All-Wise.
The test of those who lose a child is not more difficult than the test of those with many children.
The test of being poor is not more difficult than the test of being rich.
The test of being in a lower social class is not more difficult than the test of being in a higher class.
In fact, the gray area or bias is that the tests of those with many children, wealth, status, popularity, and successful businesses are more complex.
Because those who are poor are mostly aware that they are being tested, while those who are given wealth often do not realize they are being tested.
When our business suffers losses, most people realize they are being tested.
But when our business is thriving, most do not realize they are being tested, which is very dangerous.
So, be humble and be aware of this.
And think of the Hereafter. If we think of the Hereafter and believe in it, no one is at a loss.
In fact, from one perspective, we do not hope for this, but what Allah decrees is the best.
The best is Allah's choice, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.
When Allah decrees that our child passes away while still young, that is the best, and our child will enter Paradise, cared for by Prophet Ibrahim, Alaihi Salam.
Let us reflect: if our child is talented and a successful person in Indonesia comes to our house and says, "I want your child. I will take care of them and make them successful," would we give them up?
This person has a proven track record of success and truly knows how to nurture children into great individuals.
If they come to our house and say, "I want your child, but they must come with me," would we agree?
Most people would agree because this person is capable of making our child successful.
But the child who passes away young will be cared for by Prophet Ibrahim, Alaihi Salam, the best of mankind, alongside Rasulullah, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
Allah Ta'ala, asalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
May Allah bless our scholars, Imam Nawawi, and other scholars. Ameen, ya Rabbal alamin.
May Allah protect Ustaz and his family. Ameen, ya Rabbal alamin.
May Allah protect the Muslim community wherever they are. Ameen, ya Rabbal alamin.
I would like to ask, InsyaAllah, in two months, we will marry off our daughter to a righteous man. What should we prepare as parents? May Ustaz make it easy to answer this question.
Jazakumullahu khairan, Barakallah fikum.
Releasing a daughter into marriage is one of the biggest decisions made by parents.
Not only by parents but also by the guardian, which could be a brother or another relative if the father has passed away.
This is one of the biggest and riskiest decisions, and every parent must be aware of this, especially for daughters.
We know that in our society, the marriage contract for the bride's parents, especially the father, is always more emotional than for the groom's parents.
Just observe; the marriage contract for the bride's parents, especially the father and mother, is always more emotional.
But the mother is always emotional; there is no one who loves more than a mother.
However, the father has a unique side that is revealed during the marriage contract.
Many men we have never seen cry except at their daughter's wedding.
They do not cry when their son marries, but when their daughter marries, we see a different side of a man who is usually respected and strong.
This shows the high status of daughters and women in Islam.
This is a significant and risky decision, so ask for help from Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.
Repent often and seek forgiveness because this is about releasing and entrusting your daughter to someone who will lead her.
If the leader is righteous, that is good. If not, then...
So, repent often, seek forgiveness, and pray to Allah, especially with two months remaining.
We still have two months to strive for the best for our daughter.
During these two months, maximize your efforts to find out who this man truly is.
Is he really righteous? When we say "InsyaAllah he is righteous," what are our parameters?
How well do we know him? What is the evidence?
It is often easy for us to conclude without having complete data.
In many cases, during our Muslimah discussions, there are always questions about being deceived by previous assessments of their husbands.
They thought their husbands were righteous, but after marriage, they found out otherwise.
Every Muslimah discussion always has such cases, not just one or two.
This is the function of the guardian.
The guardian is not passive; they should check who this man is.
Is he responsible? What is his family background?
This is crucial. Two months is not a time to relax; it is much more important than dealing with technical matters.
Especially since we are about to release our daughter.
Do not let this be a mistake.
Pray for guidance and check all the information provided.
If he says, "I am this and that," verify it.
Meet him, ask him many questions about himself and his views.
It is important to see if he has initiative and wisdom.
If he is willing to pay for lunch, that is a good sign.
If he does not want to pay, how can we expect him to take care of our daughter?
So, the guardian should not just hope for the best.
This is a crucial time.
After all the prayers and remembrance, if possible, perform Umrah.
Pray in front of the Ka'bah, asking Allah for guidance.
Pray during Umrah, in Masjidil Haram, and in Raudah.
If this man is truly a good leader for my daughter, make it easy for them.
If not, separate them.
If we have the means, we should go for Umrah.
Hajj is good, but it is not possible to perform Hajj in January or during Sha'ban.
Hajj is in the month of Zulhijah, and we cannot pray at Arafah during Ramadan.
So, if Allah decrees marriage, accompany and support them, but do not intervene.
Do not take over control; understand the boundaries.
She has her own life, and she must be led by her husband, who has authority.
But they should support each other because one of the causes of domestic violence is the lack of support from the woman's family.
If the family is solid, the irresponsible man will think twice before harming this woman.
Thus, dear audience, if the woman's family is solid and supportive, this is what can be conveyed.
May Allah grant us success.
Subhanaka ilaha illa Anta, astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaik.
Asalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
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