If You're Feeling Lost...It's Actually GOOD!

hello my friends welcome to the being

human podcast thank you so much for

listening thank you for clicking on

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listen or watch

now listen

the word lost may have resonated with

you in this title

we seem to be lost as a culture in a way

where we don't really know which way to

go

what direction to move to what would be

good for me would that be good for

everybody

is it selfish to do things for me

should i always think of the collective

what about what other people think

what if i make a decision now and

10 years from now i look back and it

ended up being the wrong one should i go

left right straight should i go

backwards should i stay still

i feel lost right now so that must be

i'm a loser

how can i possibly feel lost i have

everything i need i have a house i have

shelter i'm so ungrateful and look at

everybody else who has their lives

together and they have such direction

and purpose i wish i had that

i wish i had that

any of those thoughts have gone through

your mind i think you're in the right

place i know what it's like to be lost

completely confused disoriented where

you can't even lean on left and right

you don't even know where they are

you're in the dark

there's nothing to hold you you're

floating in limbo and you're paralyzed

by feeling a little stuck

you know what's funny everyone

that as

a personal coach to some and through

this podcast and when i'm on stage

i'm not one to offer you know direct and

rigid solutions

that that that can come from the person

i feel like it's my job and i really

enjoy

validating feelings and making people

realize that things aren't the end of

the world and where they are right now

can actually be a launch pad

and you can rest on that launchpad you

can prepare on that launchpad you can

get your spacesuit on on that launchpad

you can call friends on that launchpad

you can sleep on the launchpad

you can stay there for as long as you

want really

it's not my job to tell you what to do

but i think in this episode

it's it's

i'm i'm gonna invite you to think about

being lost in that feeling a little

differently and i think you'll find

comfort in it

how does that sound

good

all right

so yeah that was an intro now what do we

talk about

when

we feel lost

it doesn't mean

that you're a loser that you're hopeless

that that you're some kind of of nobody

that you're a reject that you're yeah

ungrateful or un unwilling to change

when you feel lost and you are lost it

means that you're going somewhere

it means that you're moving and you have

been moving

your life isn't stagnant in fact when

you're lost it's the complete

opposite

how awesome is that to think about

anyone who has done nothing with their

lives and has no aspirations or ambition

will rarely

feel lost because this isn't really a

creative person the creativity in us

that's the lostness because we're

looking for more we're searching and you

my friend are a seeker because a big

part about being human

is the need to discover and to explore

and to leave the shores of home for

something new not necessarily better

but for something new

to see what that's all about what this

is all about to make sense of the world

around us and see how it resonates

inside so you

are a seeker you are an explorer and

every explorer when they leave ashore

they get lost

we all get lost and what do you do when

you get lost

what do you do if you're out hiking

if you're out in a city you don't know

which way to turn what do you do

yeah

what do you do

now if you're my age or maybe a younger

you don't have paper maps anymore you

don't

i remember when i was going through

europe and everywhere i go when i was in

portugal when i was in mexico a few

weeks back

i take a compass with me

and i love looking at my compass

because i'm like okay the hostel is here

the hotel's here okay i know that that's

north and here that's pointing north and

let's go i love that analog kind of

feeling

and when i backpack i got lost lost on

purpose because it's fun to find your

way around and when you're lost that's

when you get to figure out where you

actually are

you know what i'm saying

so you can ground yourself in this

lostness but let's go back what do you

do when you're lost okay you're taking

out your phone

you're taking out a map

you're seeing how where am i oriented

here but

when you take a google maps

or apple maps whatever it's called

you're never like completely zoomed in

you want to take your index finger your

thumb or whatever little dinky fingers

you use and you want to pinch your phone

we're such little wussies today with our

i had a bit about that where like

there's no such thing as an alpha male

today because we all take out our little

little air pods and we put them in or

you want to fight you want to fight okay

one second click and put a little ear

get your little phone out all these

little devices

little babies we are but you take out

your phone you squeeze your little

fingers together and yeah you get a

bird's eye view of where you are

where am i if you're lost in the woods

what do you look to your left trees look

to your right trees ferns bushes flowers

but if you hold on to some eagle talons

and you let the eagle kind of pull you

up and you get to look down and okay

so this is where i am

now what do i want to do okay i see i

came from that way okay see i came

southwest okay i did that turn there

yeah that's what happened and then okay

then oh okay past the pond and now i'm

right here amongst the trees

um i see where okay i see where i went

left instead of right that's okay okay

so

depending on where you are in this lost

adventure

whether you're at sea on land wherever

you are

it's important to

try a few things

maybe even before you zoom out

because zooming out in a larger and

bigger sense means like let's take a

real big look at where you are in your

life right now

maybe that's too much right now you

don't need to do that

before you even look at your map

maybe you find a bench

you sit

you wait

remember in lord of the rings in the

minds of moria how gandalf forgot which

tunnel to go down

and he's like i have no memory of this

place this place

and

then he talks with frodo he has a little

smoke

and then oh

it's that way

see using time as your ally is really

good in these moments too orient

yourself reorient yourself and really

take a look at okay this is what i'm

surrounded by these are the choices i

can make but at the same time take your

time

is there a rush

sometimes we just need to do what we're

just keep doing what we're doing and a

solution presents itself without us even

trying

there's these there's the art of not

trying there's sometimes where we put so

much effort in

like what are you going to do plant a

seed and keep digging it up to see if

it's grown right and we keep pushing it

down into the soil we keep oh it's not

growing yet it must okay we got to

compact it more we got to flood it with

water what the heck is taking so long

you you plant the seed and you leave it

and you let nature do its thing

so you're lost okay i'm lost i don't

know exactly where i am right now

let's chill let's be still

let's be soft with ourselves

sometimes the solution presents itself

in front of us you don't need to do a

whole list of life goals right now if

being lost is pretty daunting you need

to ground yourself first

what am i going to do when i'm lost i'm

in the dark i don't know left from right

up from down

what am i going to do write down life

goals i can't find the pencil i can't

find the pen i'm in darkness here

sit down wait for some daylight to pop

in wait for some moonlight to show

itself through the cracks so you can see

where the left is you can see where the

right is and then you can make a

decision after all

we got so caught up in wanting to move

so fast all the time that it's no wonder

we find ourselves lost sometimes

but this is the opportunity to reorient

this happens to everybody

creative people more than most

one thing we have to realize and that i

have to realize is that

we're always embarking into the unknown

and there's always going to be a

decision where we

don't have enough information we never

do we know as much as we know and you

take a bit of a leap

and you see where it gets you

and if it doesn't get you exactly where

you want it which it rarely does then

you tweak a little more and you tweak a

little more and you tweak and you tweak

what else is life other than moving and

tweaking and stepping a little bit in

each direction to see where you can

really find your path in your way

my friends if you feel lost right now

the last thing i'd invite you to do is

beat yourself up

notice that critic within you that says

yeah you should be going somewhere why

are you lost why don't you just do the

thing why don't you be like everybody

else

find a purpose just find a job just do

this just do this what's wrong with you

i can't believe you made that decision

back then that's why you're lost in the

first place you really messed up this

time

be aware of that voice

you know

there's that exploratory nature in you

i'm sure because if you listen to this

podcast and you followed me for a while

you know that it's in me

and those who deal with depression and

anxiety such as myself from time to time

that's part of us we're seekers we're

big thinkers

uh we go deep

we go real deep

we pay the price for it sometimes

but we're sensitive to the world and

we're sensitive to our environment

which is why we get lost in the first

place

because we're always moving

we're always moving we're searching

we're checking stuff out

what are you going to be mad at yourself

for trying the fruits of the trees

maybe you got so caught up in the beauty

in the moment and you're trying tree by

tree and you're eating fruits and eating

fruits and trying plants and then then

you look around you're like oh shoot i

followed the trail of berries for too

long and now whoops i gotta find my way

again it could be that you were just

enjoying yourself so much

that now you're in a different place

what do we do when we're in that place

we don't know okay just remember grab

the eagle talons and see where you are

and if you if that's too soon

wait till the moonlight and sunlight

comes into where you are

reorient yourself

don't beat yourself up

we all get lost and this is a feeling

that

that i have to get used to

because i like embarking on new

adventures and i like to try new things

and my life and i'm sure yours it's not

a straight trajectory nobody's is

we find ourselves in these moments all

of the time

because life is unpredictable

we're throwing curveballs all the time

and sometimes i ask for curveballs

because i get bored of happiness and i

get bored of routine so i like

curveballs and i like the feeling of

being lost part of me really enjoys it

because what is it you really get to

know who you are

and where you are

when you feel lost

my friends this isn't a bad thing for

you

try to see it in a different light

try to see it as you as the adventurer

and seeker you on the hero's journey

that's just taking out his or her map

just to see where you are for a little

bit

take rest

take rest when you need there's no need

to move right now set up camp

make this your launch pad set up camp

get a base get a base camp going set up

a fire here set up the clothesline here

you know when we're camping i was up

north camping uh this weekend the

mosquitoes were freaking terrible

but nonetheless i was doing my cliff

jumping and i loved the adrenaline rush

but then doing some paddle boarding and

in order to set up your weekend

you gotta set up camp a little bit

because you know hey i'm here

i might as well be here for a while

like if you're on a trip

you can live out your suitcase but what

about at the airbnb hotel if you're

there for a little while you may as well

take things out of your suitcase and use

the dressers and drawers you may as well

makes it feel more like home

so stay awhile i set up the tent we set

up the firewood's going here we set up

the picnic bench going here the

barbecues are here right

set up a while

stay a while

be your own friend for now

and really look at yourself with being

okay

with feeling like this and being here

if we're here you may as well put your

feet where the ground are

or the ground is

put your feet where the ground is

really feel it

wherever you are right now

be there now

what do you do

what are you doing cooking you're in the

kitchen doing dishes you're making a

grilled cheese naked you on the living

room floor bedroom bathroom in the car

walking on the sidewalk biking on the

road

where are you

wherever you are be there

and know that the feeling of lostness is

just like ooh okay

let's check out the map

i like repeating myself in podcasts

so i'll say everything again

for the tenth time

let it really sink in maybe that's the

whole point i just

i need to remind myself of these things

that's why i make these episodes this is

for me too

not above you all in any way

i feel threatened by the lostness

sometimes

disoriented me i got vertigo i ah i'm

just so dizzy i'm tired i don't know

which way to go ah

i wish i wish i wish i should have i

could have i should have i could have

what if what if what if what if

mm-hmm

yeah

sit

what's the rush to change

is there a huge rush for you to make a

decision at this very second

at this very second if you don't make a

huge choice

is something really terrible going to

happen probably not

so take rest

in this feeling of lostness and know

what it is

it is

the adventurer's feeling

brought down from your ancestors and

their ancestors and their ancestors who

left shore on ships

most likely

if you're in the if you're in north

america

wherever you are really

we moved as people and we move and we

move and we move

and we rest and then we move

take rest during the stages of rest my

friend

let the lostness warm you

let the darkness sometimes just be

just that black velvet blanket that

we've always wanted like george costanza

who wants to dress in velvet

all day

let it be your velvet

gosh even be prideful about it for a

minute

that you're an adventurer and you're

making your way and you deserve

a little bit of rest

now to end this podcast episode thank

you for listening

i'd like to invite you to click on

something in the description

it's a link to join

zoom groups where you chat with me i'm

in the zoom there's like five of us

there's ten of us um join the newsletter

so you get

a notification in your inbox of when i'm

doing my next zoom call

with you

you know this is an impersonal way of

communication

and i hope you you got a little

something from this

but one thing when we're feeling lost

and we're feeling like we don't know

which way to go

oh how how nice is it to chill with

someone else in velvet you know to

bounce ideas off of each other because a

huge part is loneliness and that feeling

that i'm lost and nobody else feels this

way

when

we have these groups together and when i

chat with people and oh

you're feeling that i know exactly what

you mean yes yes yes

and that in itself reduces stress and

cortisol

that reduces the feeling of loneliness

and what is loneliness it's the feeling

that what you do and share doesn't

matter to anybody how would you like it

if people really cared about what you

shared and really felt what you shared

and have been there and maybe are there

and it's about meditating reflecting and

connecting that's what these zoom groups

are all about and i hope to have one

with you in a live stream

so i can meet you and we can chat

and um i'll be creating some more

content in the near future

but i'd like to thank you for listening

and i hope this brought some comfort to

your situation my friend

it's a good thing

it really is a good thing

chill on your launch pad just chill for

a bit

you'll know when to make the next move

take care this has been scott st marie

on the being human podcast

you know

i can't even end this thing it's been a

month since i did a podcast uh

one extra thing you know i don't think

i've ever asked this on a podcast

and i don't like asking anything from

listeners and this is part of me being

very uh

what do you call it

uh nice

but i'm going to say it right now if you

could it would mean a lot to me if you

just click the star on spotify if you

like this podcast give it a review on

itunes that would mean a lot to me and

it's not like there's thousands of

reviews and thousands of uh stars

so what you do really really makes a

difference in something like this

you know what am i gonna do write a

review on the joe rogan podcast who

cares but with something small you can

really make a difference

in my life and the lives of others by

you joining the newsletter on zoom

there's only a few of us that makes a

huge difference

and i think that's pretty special

because we're not

lost among all the fishies

that we can actually see each other and

really hear each other

so

if you want to do that i'd really really

appreciate it sincerely and and thank

you for for making it this far in the

podcast

you're not lost forever but while you're

feeling lost know that it's a good thing

and chill for a bit

you got this my friend has been scott st

marie

take care see you soon