Transcription
The ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus said that this too is one of the evils of foolishness: it is always beginning to live.
What he's calling us out here for is our perpetual attempt to finally make a change, to finally start to become the person that we know we need to be.
And how do we go about this? We say, "Next week, next month, next year, in this new year, I'm going to start out being exactly the person that I know I need to be, that I've always wanted to be."
And I'm just going to continue that way. I'm going to have my perfect life, my perfect streak. This day is done, this year is done, the next year, and tomorrow I will achieve it.
I will make another attempt. And don't you realize, don't we realize what happens every time we make this promise?
We say, "Okay, today is dead and gone. I've failed and I've been failing, but tomorrow is a new day."
Okay, and when I wake up, I'm just going to start to be the person in this new year, whatever it may be, that I've always needed to be.
And what happens is we slip up, or we don't do something to the degree that we have promised ourselves to do, and we give out.
We say, "Oh well, failed again, but try again later."
And we talked about this before on this channel: every challenge is an opportunity.
But what we see challenges as are battles that we need to win. And if we fail, we have failed, and we're failers.
Whereas reality, we can recognize a challenge for what it really is: an opportunity for advancement.
I've said it before: in every challenge, either the challenge is overcome and we have advanced, or we failed the challenge, but we can advance towards advancement.
What I mean by that is we must finally stop to begin only to stop again. But instead, we should just continue.
Let's not call this a new beginning; let's just call it a continuation.
Because everything we've been through so far, even though we have not achieved what we really truly wanted to achieve and still want to achieve, every single challenge has brought us closer to that.
Yes, we didn't overcome the things that we want to overcome. We haven't stopped being the person that we want to stop being.
But every single challenge that we, in our eyes, failed was a step closer to that.
And this is exactly how every single challenge that we fail to overcome gets us to fail.
It succeeds when it succeeds to make us think that today is lost and that we may get to try again tomorrow.
Take a simple thing like your diet. If you want to lose weight, what you do is today you have the temptation, and you give into the temptation, as we've always done.
That's why we're in need of the diet, right? And as soon as we've given into the temptation, we count today as lost.
Is that not what we do? We say, "Well, I've already eaten this. I've already been over my goal of my caloric intake, so I might as well just eat even more today because today is lost. I will try again tomorrow."
But today is lost, so I might as well indulge.
But again, as our Roman Emperor, stoic philosopher friend Marcus Aurelius says, it's about making the best move possible.
Yes, you have eaten. Yes, you have made a mistake. Yes, you have given into something that you no longer want to give into.
But there's still the best move you can make from now on for the rest of the day.
And that way, yes, maybe you've failed your challenge, but you have advanced towards advancement.
So the one mentality that keeps us from achieving our goals is this giving up on today and hoping to be able to start again to live finally tomorrow.
But another one is the past and the future.
When the challenge arises, notice how the challenge always arises within the present moment.
Nothing is ever asked of you in the past because that would be impossible. The past is gone, and the future is yet to come.
So the challenge, the achievement of all your goals, the path that leads to becoming the person that you want to become, the challenge for that, the test for that, and the point at which you make yourself that person is always the present.
Never the past and never the future.
But what weighs on us in the present is always the past or the future.
What weighs on us in the present is never the present; it's the past or the future.
Again, Marcus Aurelius says, "Tell me, what in this present moment is so unbearable?"
And you will be ashamed of your answer.
And it's true: whenever the challenge arises, whenever the temptation comes, what always happens, and what finally needs to stop happening?
Ask yourself, "What in this present moment is so unbearable? What's wrong?"
And you will realize it's not the present moment that weighs on you; it's the past or the future.
It's your past, what you regard as traumas, the things that happened before and that you think have made your identity, shaped your identity.
And all the regrets and the shame and the resentment that you have from the past is what is making you act in the way that you don't want to be acting in the present.
Or, like we said, it's the future that makes us do these things in the present.
Future worries, future anxieties, things that you anticipate will happen but that have obviously not happened yet is what makes you now, in the present, shape that future.
Everything you ever wanted to achieve, ever could possibly want to achieve, ever could possibly dream for anyone else to achieve is always achieved in the present moment.
The only time we live is now. Life is lived by one present moment after another.
We cannot live in the past; we cannot live in the future. We all know this.
But when it comes to the exact moment, we're always weighed down by the past or the future.
We have to realize that the present is literally all that anyone ever has.
We all have 24 hours that consist of many, many little moments in the present, in the now.
And all we can, all we ever have at our disposal to do anything whatsoever with our lives is the material of the present moment.
That's all that we have. That's all that anyone has ever had to do anything is the present moment: this one, and this one, and this one, and the next one.
So we must get rid of all the things that prevent us from using the present moment.
Isn't that clear enough?
If all that we have is the present moment, and clearly something is in the way of us being able to use this one and only material of life, then we must get rid of whatever that is.
And we just had a hint of what that might be when we talked about the past weighing on us or the future weighing on us, either with past regrets or future worries.
But we also have to make sure that our goals, for which we only have the present moment to achieve them, are the right ones.
Because it's also possible that our own being is trying to tell us that it's not right for us, that this goal we've set for ourselves and that we keep trying to achieve, keep failing, and spiraling to, might not be right.
There is a simple and perfect way of finding that out, and it is to go inside, to examine our own beliefs, and to ask this simple question:
How many of my goals, how much of me, and how much of what I want to be is determined by my identity?
How much of this and what of this am I trying to do because I'm trying to be a good husband, a good wife, a good brother, a good sister, a good friend, a good worker?
Because I'm trying to impress this or that person?
Or how much of this is me trying to live up to the fantasies that I've built up as a child?
How much of this adult me is going around in the world trying to satisfy the fantasies of the 15-year-old me?
How much of my life am I trying to make look like what I had imagined it would be as a child?
It's amazing with how many preconceived notions and goals and ambitions we walk around that we have formed when we were a child, essentially.
And how we, as adults, try to live up to the fantasies of a teenager, of a child.
We need to drop all of that.
We almost literally, many times, have rocks in our pockets, and we're trying to swim.
Those possessions that you try to get are rocks that weigh you down in every possible sense.
You regret not having them, you worry about never having them, and you spend every single present moment on somehow trying to attain them.
We only have this present moment to live.
What we spend this present moment on is little.
Lately, everything, our entire life is in the now.
We think that the present is such a small sliver.
The present moment is such a small sliver of our life because there are decades of our past and decades in our future, and it's just this one moment right now that seems so small.
But all of life is contained in that one moment.
We do not have another space, another time to live in.
All of life takes place in this exact present moment.
And everything that gets us to not be present in this present moment is everything that keeps us from living.
Because if we're not living in this present moment now, we're not living at all.
To spend the present moment on regrets in the past or worries in the future is to not spend it on life, on living.
Go through all your ambitions, all your goals, and your entire identity: what you think your achievements are, what you think your traumas are, what you think in the external world has been holding you back all these years and will hold you back in the coming years.
And realize all of it is self-imposed.
Look around you. The world requires nothing of you.
Not a single thing that you do is required by the universe, by God, whatever you want to call it.
These are all self-imposed requirements.
Your deadlines are self-imposed. Your worries are self-imposed.
Most of your regrets are self-imposed. They don't have to be there.
All the things that you need to do and all the certain ways in which you have to do them, and all the certain times in which you have to do them by, are self-imposed requirements and obligations that come from our identity.
I just said recently in a video, yes, all those bad things that happened to you in the past did happen.
All the things that you feel like are holding you back, yes, they did happen.
But they don't have to define you. They don't have to be your identity.
When you think of yourself as that person, when you think of yourself as that victim, you think of yourself as this disadvantaged person that's being held back by the entire world outside of them.
You do nothing other than give the present moment over to the past or to the future, and that's something that you do.
No one else does that.
Again, no one's denying that these things have happened, that people treat people unfairly, that people lie, that people cheat, that people aim to hurt others.
No one's done any of that.
But we must not add to it by making it our identity.
If someone came in here right now and insulted me, it's not like I would say that didn't happen.
Yes, this person came in, and they said what they said, but it is on me to go around offended by that, resenting that, hating it, regretting it, getting angry at it, telling others about it, having that anger in me, and that resentment, and that fury about how a person could act like this and how this is unjust and unfair and improper.
I could go around the rest of my entire life doing that.
And at some point, the vast majority of our regrets, of everything that we resent, is our own regret and our own misery.
It's not the event itself.
At that point, we have regretted it, resented it, been angry at it so much, both in time and intensity, that most of what we are angry about, most of what we resent, is actually our own anger, our own resentment.
We've added so much to it that the thing has become mostly what we added to it.
And so from this day on, this New Year, stop always beginning new.
Today is not lost. Tomorrow is no different than today, really.
It's the present moment.
Any challenge, anything that you ever need to face, you will face with the same mindset, with the same tools in this present moment.
If you can't do it now, if you feel like you can't do it now, you won't be able to do it tomorrow either.
And the only way to be able to do it tomorrow is to do it in this present moment as well.
It's always going to be the same challenge.
It's always going to feel the same.
It is always going to be just as difficult tomorrow as it feels like it is right this present moment.
The challenge is here. The challenge is now.
And it's only this present moment that you need to deal with.
There is no past; there is no future.
It's this one little slice of time that is all that is ever asked of you to deal with.
It's only that slice of temptation, only that slice of challenge, only that slice of difficulty that you need to deal with.
Nothing else. Nothing else even exists.
Let go of the past. Let go of the future.
The slice that is in front of you now is all that you have to deal with.
And so stop beginning to live anew every single time the challenge presents itself, and simply make the very best move you can in this present moment.