Transcription
Bang! No, Jay. All right, we have enough, and we're already over budget, but I want some pasta tonight. You don't even eat this kind of pasta. Why don't you just go and change it for spaghetti and marinara? I mean, the pasta section's way on the other side of the store.
Look, I'll be fine, all right? I'll just eat this.
Fine, come on, Jay. I am tired. I worked a long shift, and I have a bunch of things to do when we get home.
Well, I've got energy. What do you want me to do?
Okay, that's going to be 10738, Miss. Of course, cashier. Card?
Card.
Bow! I'm dead! I'm dead!
Jay, dinner's ready! Come eat!
Ow! Jay, what did I tell you about picking up after yourself?
What are you yelling for? Chill, bro. It ain't that deep. Just a couple of toys on the floor.
First of all, I am not your bro. I'm your mother, and I don't think you realize how hard of a job you make it. I wish you would at least just help me every now and then instead of just making my life more difficult.
All right, you're being dramatic. I do not make your life more difficult.
All right, well, this is terrible.
Well, I tried to tell you we always eat spaghetti marinara. I don't understand why you got fettuccine Alfredo.
Well, I'm not eating this. Can you make me something else?
No! You know how long I spent making that!
All right, well, guess I'll just order U there.
No, Jay! Oh, and spend another $25 on dinner after all the groceries we just bought? Absolutely not!
Jay, do you have any idea how hard you make my life? Because you have to do a little cooking and cleaning. That ain't hard!
Parenting is easy.
Oh yeah, you're right. You have no idea how hard someone's job is until you have to do it yourself. And now I have to eat all this, and I don't even like this sauce. I just got it for you.
Oh, so how much you spend?
Chill, bro! I used my own money!
That's your credit card!
Oh, but now I'm pretty much broke. So was it cool if I get the $100 for my allowance early?
No, you can't! You have to wait, just like I have to wait for my paycheck every week.
And why is your room such a mess? Weren't you supposed to clean it today?
Did you brush your teeth?
Nope.
Did you wash your face?
No.
Did you shower?
No!
God dang! Get off my case!
You know, I don't get it. You always want me to treat you like an adult, but you act like a child. You don't do your chores. You don't even take care of your own hygiene. I shouldn't have to tell you to do all these things, Jay.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Where are you going?
I have to go back to work. Someone has to take their responsibilities seriously around here.
Okay, but who's going to fold my clothes? They'll wrinkle if you leave them like that.
Uh, here's an idea: you can fold your own clothes for once. You should be grateful I'm even doing your laundry!
Eh, guess I'm just going to have wrinkled clothes then, 'cause I don't feel like folding them at all.
Shower, wash your face, brush your teeth, and fold your clothes!
Nope!
Hey, Mom! Got you something!
Oh, honey, thank you! Lord knows I needed this.
Hey, no worries! You know, I can't believe Jay's able to stay at home by himself now. How is that going?
Well, so far he hasn't burned down the house, so there's that. But seriously, just because he isn't causing trouble, he's certainly not making my life easier. He asked me to make him dinner, he doesn't eat it, he spends money like it grows on trees, he doesn't do any of his chores, and I can't get him to brush his teeth without it being a fight.
I just wish he could see from my perspective how hard it is to be a parent. You know, if only Jay's little brother was more responsible like you.
I had to grow up fast, and you need to help with Jay. If it wasn't for that, I'd probably be just like him.
You know, it's too bad that Jay doesn't have it.
That's it! If Jay had a little brother or sister to take care of, then he'd see for himself how hard it is. Then maybe he'd start cooperating more.
Wait, as in you're going to have another baby?
I mean, don't you need a boyfriend first?
No, silly! I'm not going to have another baby, but I think I have a better idea.
Last person! Last person! Last person! Come on, come on, come on! Go take that L!
Hey, hey, M! Guess what, guess what your boy just got!
Oh God! All right, all right! Can you just take it down a notch, please? I'm tired!
Bro, you're always tired, man! Perk up a bit, will you? Try working a double shift while raising a child who doesn't listen to you!
Oh, speaking of which, I wanted to talk to you about something. I have a little surprise.
Oh, you're buying me a new gaming PC?
No, you're taking me to see the Christmas lights at Disneyland with the Genie pass!
Thank you! Do you have any idea how much that costs?
You see? Ah, I can see it in your eyes! I can see it in your eyes! You're buying me the new Tesla Cybertruck!
Okay, Mom, I see you!
Yeah, now if I wasn't going to buy you the— you know what? Never mind.
You know how you've always wanted a sibling?
Mhm.
The surprise is—can you gaming gold spear? Got you! This is your new little sister, Brandy!
Wait, oh, you're telling me you had another kid that you never told me about?
That I don't see how that's possible, considering we've never been apart for more than a couple of days.
No, Randy here is adopted, and she'll be living with us.
I mean, I wanted a little brother, not basketball, video games, and YouTube!
Well, all right then! Let's go, baby!
Well, you guys have all the fun you want, but remember, she's younger than you, so you're responsible for her. You understand? Like I got to keep her alive, kind of thing, right?
Oh yeah, that's SL work! I mean, how hard can taking care of an 8-year-old be?
That's simple! I'm hungry!
Hey, hey! I got you! I got you!
Hey, Mom, please go make Brandy something, 'cause I'm about to get back-to-back dubs, and I can't—
Uh-uh! No! You're responsible for her, remember?
As in I got to cook for her? You remember what happened to that grilled cheese? That thing was burnt, and you still want me to cook for her?
Oh yes, I'm serious! Okay, it's like you said, parenting is easy, right? So I want you to see how easy it is!
Chill, chill! All right, what do you want to eat?
Pancakes!
I do not know how to eat pancakes!
PC pancakes!
Pancakes!
Mom, do we have all the pancake stuff?
No, sorry!
Pancakes!
P-P-Mom, can you take us to the store?
Oh, it's just a few blocks away! You'll figure it out!
Can I at least get some cash?
I don't have to spend my allowance money on her food, do I?
Well, I'd love to not use my paycheck on you, but I don't have a choice, do I?
Man, this ain't fair! And where do you keep going with those bags?
Oh, to your room! That's Brandy's stuff! You'll be sharing a room!
Give me the P! Give it to me!
The thing of a— and the bucket and stir it in!
I think I—
Oh yo, Brandy, what kind of pancakes do you want? Blueberry or—
What's all this to put in the pancake?
Well, you can't put candy!
I want candy in my pancake!
Bro, do you have any idea how much this is all going to cost? I'm going to have to eat this all weekend, and I ain't trying to eat candy!
I'm going to go look for some more stuff!
Wait, what is that?
What?
Smile! Revive me! Revive me!
Yes, yes, yes! Little help would be nice!
You mean I can help you cook?
No, no, no, no! It's cool! I actually was just playing with—
No, I was just saying that you didn't add the candy yet!
That's because I'm not done mixing the batter!
No, that's way too much! Did you really just pour the whole thing?
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! That's way too much sugar! You're already hyper, and I don't need you even more!
Okay, okay, but only for a little bit!
Move!
Oh, you just made a huge mess, and I got to be the one to clean it up!
Light it up, Brandy! Just go over there and go back to playing video games!
Okay, all right! Yeah, I'll let you know when the pancakes are done!
Got him back!
About some B! Is this thing edible?
Yeah, yeah, yeah! I spent all that money for no reason!
Okay, well, take the first bite!
Huh? Heck no, bro! You're the one that wanted to add all these weird things!
Jig like M!
Nice!
Look, look, look, look! This mic ain't right! You eat it!
Get that out of my face!
Take the first place!
No, wrong!
Okay, this thing looks like a science experiment gone wrong!
Bro, this thing's a supernatural creature!
Bro, what in the—?
Can I—?
Oh, that's nasty!
Yeah, I'm definitely not eating this!
Hold on, hold on! What do you mean you don't want any? Do you have any idea what I went through to make these? Plus, I spent half of my allowance on it!
Brandy, I still got to clean all this up!
Bro, what are you doing?
Bro, don't put— yo, yo, no, no, no! Stop jumping on my bed with your shoes, bro!
Go!
Over!
After you're done cleaning, can you do my laundry?
Thanks, big bro!
Don't you "thanks, big bro" me!
Mom!
Unable!
What? I can't take it anymore! I can't!
Okay, she asks me to make her food and then doesn't eat it! She blows away all my money!
Okay, she doesn't clean up after herself, and she won't stop annoying me! It's like an endless cycle I have to deal with!
So in other words, she's acting like you!
Sorry, I said being a parent is easy!
I'm sorry, what?
Uh, I couldn't hear you!
I said guess you don't know how hard someone's job is until you have to do it yourself!
Happy?
Thank you!
Now, if you don't mind, I was in the middle of—
No, no, no, no! Mom, please just listen to me! Let's make amends!
Please, please, please, please, please, please!
I was just kidding! Brandy, come in here!
Do not call her in here!
Oh, she's a demon! This is a demon!
She's a demon!
She is not! She's actually an angel!
We didn't really adopt Brandy; she's my co-worker's daughter, and I asked if she'd act over the top to teach you a lesson.
I guess she did a pretty good job, huh?
Almost too over the top!
I'm sorry I put you through all that! I cleaned up my stuff!
All of that just for—
Where do you think you got your skills from?
Okay, I'll give some of the credit to you!
Huh, go girl!
What would you like for dinner, honey?
Oh, I already took care of it! I even made some spaghetti marinara for you!
Oh, and you're eating fettuccine Alfredo?
Yep!
Why wouldn't you just throw it away?
Eh, I mean, I didn't want it to go to waste! I saw how hard you worked on it!
Oh, that must be the laundry! I'm going to go fold it so it doesn't wrinkle!
Oh, wait! Are you sure you're really my son?
D, this is spicy! What did you put in this?
Gotcha, Jay! Boy, nothing wrong with you!