Transcription
it's so easy to get buried alive by your
to-do list and to feel like you're just
on autopilot and you're barely surviving
that you forget that there is an
evolutionary design inside of you that
you can tap into today I'm going to
share tools that have literally lit up
my life and allowed me to get on a path
to attune to The rhythms of Life ooh I
want that I want to make sure anybody
that feels stuck understands that
there's these four short steps that you
can go through and that there is another
way and so Step One is what noticing
your inner desire for possibility
fabulous what's the second step is to
take stock of what's working and what's
holding you back and step three then
once you've taken stock is to notice
other possibilities and other ways of
thinking and then you said the fourth
step was
[Music]
taking hey it's your friend Mel I am so
fired up today can you tell that I'm
fired up today well before I tell you
why I'm fired up let me just first
welcome you to the Mel Robins podcast it
is always such an honor to spend time
with you to be together I also want to
say if you're brand new welcome to the
Mel Robins podcast family because you're
listening to this episode I know you're
the type of person who values your time
and you're also interested in learning
about ways that you can improve your
life well today holy smokes we're going
to do that because you and I are going
to spend some time learning from the
incredibly inspiring Dr Jeff karp now
you may not have heard of him because
he's so busy revolutionizing science but
trust me after today you'll know exactly
what he's all about and what he's about
is innovation creativity and possibility
Dr Jeff karp is a medical genius who
teaches at MIT Harvard Medical School
Brigham and wiman's and his
groundbreaking Innovations are
transforming the future of healthcare he
is driven by a passion to improve Pati's
lives his team has invented technologies
that have led to the formation of 13
different companies these inventions
include tissue glue that can seal holes
inside a beating heart targeted
therapies for I can't even say that word
so I'm not going to but Crohn's disease
I can and brain disorders he's way
smarter than me so I don't have to say
these words because he's going to help
me with them cancer fighting immune the
I can't even say that word either this
is going to be a hell of a conversation
but Dr Jeff cart has a huge huge huge
heart he also has 170 peer-reviewed
studies that have been cited
35,000 times and he holds over a hundred
patents for his inventions and one thing
I want to say right up front this is not
an episode about all the scientific
breakthroughs that he's had in his lab
like I think that stuff is really cool
and you're going to learn a little bit
about it this is really an episode about
how Dr karp had this life-changing
epiphany and how he took the same things
he was learning in his lab about
Innovation and creativity and tapping
into whole new possibilities and
discovered these simple tools that he's
used in his life that ignited a whole
new possibility for him and his marriage
with his kids in his day-to-day life and
here's the cool part these same tools
that created more connection and
presence actually made him more
successful and productive at work too
and so today Dr karp has stepped out of
the lab and into your life in a really
big way to teach you what he calls these
simple life ignition tools so please
help me welcome Dr Jeff karp to the Mel
Robbins podcast I'm so excited to be
here thank you so much and I'm very
impressed that you actually hopped on a
bike and rode over from your lab just AC
are you across the river yeah I am I'm
at the bringo women's hospital and I'm
still wearing my bike
shoes well I'd love to start by having
you speak directly to the person
who is listening and tell them what they
might expect to have change about their
life if they truly take to heart
everything that you are about to share
with and teach us today yeah thank you
for that question and thank you for
tuning into to this um
I H oh my goodness wow it uh there are
tools I'm going to share today that have
literally transformed my life they've
transformed so many moments
that have taken me from being in a rut
from hitting a plateau from being
disconnected from my family and friends
um from being on a path where I just
feel like I'm trapped in a cage and life
is out of control and today I'm going to
share tools that have literally lit up
my life and allowed me to get on a path
of intentionality Infuse creativity into
every day um to help me lead with
curiosity to connect deeply with the
people that I love and care about and to
attune to The rhythms of life and and
connect deeply with nature I want that
can you put that in a powder that I can
put in my drink I I'm really excited
that you're here and one of the reasons
why is that Dr karp you run one of the
most successful and accredited research
labs in the entire world I mean your lab
is looking at everything from cancer
research to Heart tissue repair and
you've taken everything that you've
learned as a researcher and a scientist
and all of this experience on The
Cutting Edge of medical Innovation and
you've applied it to your life and
you've come up with these things that
you call Life ignition tools that
absolutely anyone can use to tap into
their potential to improve their life to
be happier I'm so excited to learn about
these simple tools but before we jump
into the life ignition tools could you
just tell the person listening a little
bit more about the kind of work that
your lab does and what you're excited
about absolutely uh so my lab is
literally focused on the process of
medical problem solving it's an Ever
evolving process it's highly iterative
and the major focus is how can we make
academic discoveries and move them as
quickly as possible to patience and we
do this like just how we approach
problems how we Infuse fresh energy how
we disrupt um linear thinking and single
sort of possibilities that we might find
ourselves within and this has allowed us
to create all sorts of technologies that
are in clinical trials and have actually
made it to patients for example uh we
developed a nasal spray in the lab that
we demonstrated could um
neutralize uh like
99.99% covid-19 H1N1 influenza A and B
um and um a form of pneumonia uh and um
so that's like one example we developed
a needle that can stop in between the
layers of the eye to deliver gene
therapy to the back of the eye it's
really difficult to get drugs to the
back of the eye like for macular
degeneration and that's on route to a
clinical trial um we've developed a a um
therapies to annihilate cancer um
therapies for
osteoarthritis um so and and it's really
like a playground if you will um people
from all over the world people with tons
of different experiences um and
backgrounds and expertise and but we
really have a Northstar for every
project which is to help patients as
quickly as we can you know Dr karp
you're one of the most Innovative minds
and award-winning researchers alive
today and I'm just curious if you can
talk a little bit more more about how
you run your life and how you run your
lab and the role of creativity and how
you use creativity in sparking
innovation in your lab I mean how do you
get people to tap into the full
potential of their own brain power when
they're doing research for you yeah
creativity uh is I think I think
creativity is one of these life forces
it's something that um we can tap into
it's something that we are all born with
it's something that is flattened by our
society and uh perhaps through the
education system depending on you know
where we were educated and and the
circumstances um but I think you know
with this sort of algorithmic lifestyle
that we all lead um for example I think
if you if you look at
um so many thoughts in my mind I'm like
whoa I'm like yeah because creativity
it's it's like to me it's is so exciting
because we we all have this ability to
to tap into creativity and when we do we
surprise ourselves like we it's
literally like this thing that just
lights us up when we tap into it yep and
and I think that it's magnetic there's
gravity to it when somebody is being
creative it just attracts other people
like everyone wants like oh what are you
doing like oh that's so interesting
how'd you think of that like something
magical about creativity and so for my
laborat you know it's like it's one
thing to try to make academic
discoveries it's another to then take
those discoveries and turn them into
products that can help patients so like
the level of difficulty just escalates
yeah and so I've spent a lot of time
sort of um trying to figure out and
actually experiment in my laboratory
with processes to maximize creativity so
one of the things that I've noticed is
that the lab composition is critical for
creativity okay and so I've tried
intentionally on purpose to limit the
overlap and expertise most Laboratories
you have the same kind of expert
everyone in the lab has the same
expertise what I've noticed is that if
we minimize the overlap that we can
really Leverage The Power of thinking
differently and that Spar the Sparks of
creativity just start flying like in the
lab we've had chemists we have material
scientists we have biologists
immunologists but we've also had a
gastrointestinal surgeon a cardiac
surgeon we've had a dentist in the lab
it's constantly changing and I think
when you start interacting with people
who think differently who have different
skills we've had people from 30
different countries in the lab and when
you're from a different country you have
a different education system so you
think differently you have different
wiring you have different experiences
and to me that's how you start to
generate the Sparks of creativity and
something else that I experimented with
in my lab which actually was like
transformational was I set up uh and I
hadn't seen this before but I I just was
like oh we I need to somehow figure out
how to get things more creative and
people to connect and you know and so I
thought okay presentation competitions
so I came up with this idea you're
giving me anxiety about work I'm like if
I were to do presentation competitions
here people would quit Okay but so you
have like presentation competitions at
work yes in this like World round
academic research lab yes and you and
then there's there's some guide posts so
you you you can't present on your
research you have to present on
something that is one of your passions
or one of your interests or something
you're curious about and and the goal is
that um to take risks this is a safe
environment where no one's going to be
shamed and everyone's in the same boat
from like a high school student to a PhD
student to a postdoc to Young faculty
and everybody presents for three minutes
and then afterwards the questions are
focused on constructively what could you
do to improve your talk what um did you
really like about the talk and then at
the end I give prizes for um people
Everyone votes I don't vote and who gave
the best presentation who took the most
risk and who gave the best constructive
feedback and we've had people in the lab
it's been like like I couldn't have
expected this somebody
did a rap about the hamburger
restaurants in Boston somebody showed up
in a wet suit and talked about surfing
somebody um played guitar and had slides
going behind them they didn't say
anything during their talk um somebody
spoke about this permaculture effort
they did in their backyard with hundreds
of edible plants um somebody talked
about a bakery that their family had
started and then had to shut down during
covid and they really want to set it up
again and what happened was this this
created this this constellation of
energies where people now were open like
they were learning about other people's
curiosity what other people's interests
were and when you get people talking
when you get people connecting it it
creates this Creative Energy it it just
this energy just starts to flow and um
and it's just been it's been
unbelievable I love this and you know
what I love is I'm listening to you I'm
jealous now I want want to be there I
want to feel that expansion and that
connection and that creativity and that
brings us to the subject of your book
lit which is filled with all of these
simple proven what you call Life
ignition tools that we can use with
ourselves to unlock in an instant that
kind of possibility and to spark ideas
and tap into our brain and shift where
we're at and what exact is a life
ignition tool a life ignition tool is a
strategy a way to tap
into something that you don't see in
this very moment something that could
illuminate not just this moment but your
entire life o it's like there's all this
hidden potential and these life ignition
tools unlock it they unlock it and
everybody has access to to it these
tools allow you to access your
evolutionary inheritance what is my
evolutionary inheritance your
evolutionary inheritance is the biology
that that that you have that's working
for you it's it's the ability to sense
the world the ability to make decisions
the ability to evolve and to learn and
to be inspired and to sense awe and to
tap into creativity
it's it's it's what we all have access
to and when we tap into it not only does
it light up our lives it lights up the
lives of everybody around us you know
what's so exciting about this
conversation is that it's so easy to get
buried alive by your to-do list and to
get drawn into social media and to feel
like you're just on autopilot and you're
barely surviving and overwhelmed with
worry and the things that you need to do
that you forget that there is an
evolutionary design inside of you that
you can tap into your own creativity
what you just said and these are the
tools that help us cut through Modern
Life and unlock that for ourselves
exactly oh my god let's dive in what is
the first life ignition tool that you
want to share with us today you know um
one of the tools that I'm like ah is do
new because every moment there's
Limitless possibilities and we don't see
those possibilities because of a lot of
different reasons it I think one of the
major reasons is that you know when
we're younger everything is new to us
you know we first time crawling first
time walking every grade is a completely
different experience every sport
everything's completely new but as we
get older we lead these algorithmic
Lifestyles we wake up at the same time
we have the same breakfast we go to work
at the same time we scroll social media
at the same time we go to the same sites
we interact with the same people you
know same friend group and so there's
not that much new in our lives when you
start to infuse new in your life and you
know we do have this fear we have this
hesitation to do new but when you start
to do it it just illuminates everything
I love that I love that so it's almost
as if these tools that you're teaching
us these life you know
tools right yeah
unlock greater possibility they
interrupt the patterns that you've
gotten used to as an adult in your life
and they tap into something different
how do you use the tool do new do
different in your life give me an
example there's so many ways that I use
this um you know one example actually
just something I've been practicing
recently um just to intercept uh
rumination and to um to just shift my
mind is I visualize right and this is
just one of many possibilities but we're
going to do new people We're not gonna
we're not GNA like worry about
everything that's happening we're not
going to run on that negative Loop so
when that happens we're going to use
this tool from Dr karp we're going to do
new do different you can do it with a
thinking pattern what do you do can I
just can I I brought something what do
you got this is a prop okay okay so he's
passed me what these glasses are like
these the glasses you put on when you go
to the IMAX movie or 3D movie okay put
them on and take a look this is
something that you can is really simple
it's a do new and again it's like a mind
to shift your mind to change your frame
so I'm putting on glasses that look
around oh it's making all the lights
have rainbows it's like a prism lens
everything turns into a rainbow it makes
me feel like you've just handed me Sil
ayon or something like these things
are yes we're like at a rave now yeah
we're at a rave so just imagine as
you're listening yeah that you've put on
glasses that
tint the outside view so you go from
just looking at the screen to all of a
sudden things are pink or they're Amber
or they're purple or they're whatever
the sunglass lens is it it it sh it
changes thing why is this a tool that
can help you ignite something this is a
tool that can help you see your
environment in a different way like can
get you out of one possibility and into
another possibility and there's so many
different tools that we can engage to do
that and I think that there's lots of
practices and rituals and and and all
kinds of things that we can engage and I
think that's one of the limiting things
about life is that we stay on one track
for too long and so when we put on these
glasses and now we look at the lights
and everything is rainbows then that
ignites our curiosity right we start
thinking like oh wow how does that
happen and if you start turning your
head you can see the rainbows start
moving you know Dr karp you know what
I'm thinking about is that in the news
recently um tons of people all over the
world have seen the northern lights for
the first time it's been all over the
news particularly here in the United
States and they're all of a sudden super
far south and in all these environments
and what I find absolutely
electrifying is this idea that you walk
outside and with the naked eye you don't
necessarily see it but then you all of a
sudden hold up your phone and the night
camera screen and it's like this
collidus scope that is right there
waiting for you to discover it and what
I really am getting from you Dr KP is
that all of these tools that you're
sharing with
us are ways that you can see life in a
completely different way that you can
tap into possibilities are right there
just like the Northern Lights sometimes
are right there and you can't see it but
if you use some of these tools and shift
your perspective it opens up something
completely different absolutely it's
it's like let's say um you're walking
and you look up at the clouds it's hard
to see them moving but if you stop and
you look up at the clouds then you can
see them moving and when you notice the
moving it has this a this this it's like
wow and you can see them sort of joining
with each other and you know as kids
kids can look up and see animals but we
can do that too as adults and I like to
do that because again it's a way of
getting out of my mind it's getting
that's I you know we always hear like
get into the moment be authentic it's
like well what's the process for doing
that and I agree right it's like how do
we what what are the steps to get there
and to me to get into the moment if we
stop walking and look up at the clouds
and we start thinking about the clouds
we're totally in the moment it's true
it's a way to access all these
principles it reminds me of one of the
uh life ignition tools you wrote about
in the book called press pause laying on
the ground and looking at the clouds is
an example of pressing pause and then
you see the world in a different place
but what is the power of the pause and
how do you use this in your busy busy
busy life yes um pause is so important
um PR pause and it's it's really we we
need a tool to slow down we need a tool
to tap into intuitive cues we need a
tool to allow our brains to sync up to
process information and experiences and
so I noticed I was doing these backto
backto back meetings all day long I get
to the end of the day felt like I'd done
maybe two marathons of work that felt
great but there was something missing I
like there was something I couldn't put
my my finger on it and being someone
who's like constantly tinkering with
everything I started to experiment with
okay what if I take a break in between
my meetings like five minutes 10 minutes
and not a social media break or an email
break or a texting break but a true
break where I do nothing or I just go
for a walk and I started experimenting
with it and what I noticed was
transformational I would basically start
thinking about some something someone
had told me like a few weeks before a
few months before and it would connect
to what the person I just met with said
and I'd be like whoa we should get
together and meet because this could
turn into something completely new I
wouldn't have had that thought had I
didn't you know if I didn't press pause
and so it's like we have so much
information coming at us from every
meeting we have and a lot of it's in our
subconscious mind we need to take time
for these thoughts to swirl around our
mind to process them and to kind of
place them and I found that like my best
thinking happens when I do that when I'm
actually pausing and um there's a um a
neuroscientist that I spoke to actually
interviewed for the book um and a
musician um Molly gerrian is her name
and um just amazing things that she said
so she said actually um it's in the
pauses is when mind turns into matter so
when we're learning it's actually our
brains aren't rewiring in the moments
that like you know so much of just you
know engaging it's actually when we
pause that's when the circuitry is
really changing and the remodeling is
occurring you know like during sleep for
example and she said actually a lot of
people if they're practicing a skill
that a lot of people will do is they'll
they have one hour they'll just PR
practi for the whole hour and she said
no no no that's not the Neuroscience
shows that's not the best way to do it
she said the best way to do it is
practice for 15 or 20 minutes take a
five or 10 minute break and then
approach it again and this engages
something called the startle effect and
so the startle effect is where the next
time that you approach something you
clue into your attention is focused on
what you forgot right so let's say you
try to build a skill you you know you
learn something in 20 minutes then you
go back you realize what you've
forgotten now cuz now you're applying it
again that hyper focuses your brain on
what you forgot and helps you to imprint
whatever you're learning and so by doing
that over and over that's how we start
to rewire our brains and develop skills
you know I've never thought about it
that way I love how you take your
scientific mind and it's clear you have
a huge heart and you've combined it into
something simple that anyone can use
immediately thinking about my kids and
guitar and having them you know when
they're practicing sitting up there
toiling away for an hour versus trying
to work on a piece taking a five minute
break and then coming back to it or
anything that you want to master and so
one of the ways you can apply the pause
is by simply taking a f- minute break
between meetings and not actually
working or going for a quick walk or
laying on the ground and looking at the
clouds or taking a quick break as you're
trying to learn a new skill or shutting
yourself up in the middle of a
conversation and not inserting yourself
like that there is this need to slow
ourselves down why is it so hard to
bring ourselves to practice new skills
or
habits I think it's difficult to
practice new skills because of the way
that we practice I think that yeah I
think that um and that's why one of the
tools is actually fall in love with
practice because what I have found right
and through some of the people that I've
spoke to and interviewed for the book is
that practice can become monotonous
really fast it can become boring but
there are just like with everything
there's Limitless possibilities in the
way that we can practice and so um I
interviewed the five times us memory
Champion Nelson delis for the book and I
speciic specifically asked him Nelson
how like at some point it's got to get
boring right like if you're just
practicing the same thing over and over
and over again and I said what do you do
and he said well sometimes when I get to
that state he said instead of like he
would memorize like a 52 deck of cards
in I I forget how many like 20 seconds
or whatever it is or 30 seconds in that
order like in a random order someone
hands him the deck in 30 seconds he
could memorize like the whole thing and
so I said what do you do but was he born
with that skill or did he teach himself
that he wasn't his um he had someone in
his family I think it was his
grandmother who um got Alzheimer's and
he never thought he had a good memory
and he was concerned that that would be
his fate and he turned to memory games
and learning how to yeah build his
memory and so he told me that um what he
does is he will insert a few extra cards
in the deck so he'll change it up and he
said that presents A new challenge to
him that activates his mind and it makes
it more engaging and so that you could
kind of think about you know what are
all the things and sometimes it may be
that you're PR like when I was younger
and I was you know I I was always the
last chosen for sports sports at school
right actually it was me and this other
kid
and you're hilarious Dr and um and so
you know I really wanted to get better
at basketball and and I would go and I
would throw the ball and you know just
nothing nothing Plateau like what like
just anger and whatever and luckily
there's somebody actually who I recently
connected with which was pretty
interesting but someone who um saw me
doing this and came up and said here
I'll show you you know I'll show you how
to do it and he said we're just going to
focus on the layup that's it um and I
was probably you know maybe like 11
years old 10 11 something like that and
he would just stand with me and I he
would say okay shoot it there here's the
angle here's how to do your hand and and
over time I got better at it like I was
almost getting it every single time and
to me that was shifting from the
possibility of me just standing there
trying to do it on my own to having
someone supportive there with me showing
me how to do it and so it was just I was
engaging in another possibility it's
finding the process that works for you
and when you start you know I almost
think of it as like a knob like it's
like click click click click there it is
now I'm improving and we need to be able
to tune in to those incremental
improvements in and and incremental
progress in order for us to continue to
advance and to me it's like falling in
love with practice is the key to
persistence it's how we become
persistent in anything in our life if we
can find ways to infuse joy into
practicing then we can keep at it for
longer and we can be persistent and we
all know that you know persistence is so
important for
Progress it makes me think about the
fact that it took me a long time with my
brain and ADHD and dyslexia to do that
click click click click oh this is it
and I do think we get into these
patterns of believing that there's only
one way to do something or the way that
you've always done it is the way that
you should always do it or that just
because somebody else had success
shooting the basketball a certain way
way that that's how you do it and what I
love about this tool fall in love with
practice is one of the biggest practices
in your life is experimenting with
yourself and for me I don't write books
by writing them I talk it out and then I
edit transcripts which is a form of
writing another discovery that I've made
about myself Dr karp is that I'm a
reactor both emotionally and
intellectually but I I'm working on the
emotional part what I've realized is the
intellectual part is a
superpower if you ask me a series of
questions I can talk all day long I can
tap into this brain power and a decade
of research in the work that I've been
doing and I can just almost go into a
state where I'm speaking in tongues and
I'm a human
encyclopedia if you give me a piece of
paper and you ask me to like just write
a full page about a topic I can't do it
yeah and so this this idea of fall in
love with the practice and give yourself
room to experiment what you're actually
practicing on is what what works for you
what unlocks something in you and that
pursuit of being curious about it and
practicing and stumbling into things is
it's true it is what keeps you going
back like I remember with our daughter
who's a singer songwriter one of her uh
mentors out in Los Angeles said to her
because she kept going I got learn piano
I got to learn piano she she knows it
but you know she's like I most people
they they write music on piano and he's
like you have one of the best
instruments on the planet it's your
voice why are you not humming Melodies
why do you need to put it on the piano
why are you working against the thing
that actually comes naturally and I
think a lot of us do that to ourselves
we think we need to have our
relationships look like everybody else's
you think that the way that you do your
work product needs to kind of fall in
line and giving yourself the space to
Tinker and practice Taps into everything
that you're trying to teach us you have
another tool Focus Beyond failure why is
failure so essential Dr karp to
unlocking your full
potential I uh wow I've experienced so
many setbacks and you know just nothing
has ever come easy to me and I would say
you know the way I would describe it
really is that let's say I and talking
about my experiences just all of my
experiences in life really a big failure
like you have a big failure oh I have a
lot of big failures okay so for example
um I applied to medical school got
rejected from all three schools that I
applied to I um you know I had so many
failures I was the kid in high school
who got up to do a Walkman sing and got
booed off the stage right I'm that kid
wow um I tried out for to be on student
council multiple times and I didn't get
on although I actually did get on in my
final year of high school from pattern
recognition I figured some things out
but uh yeah I almost visualize it's like
I'm in a boat I'm trying to get to the
end of the stream right and I am bumping
into every single Rock along the way
every overhanging branch and as I sort
of go you know kind of untangling myself
I will look you know look down I'll look
at the Rock and I'll be like oh hm
that's interesting I'll see a path on
the side of the the river and I'll say
oh I wonder where that leads I'll get
out of the boat I'll start walking down
and then I'll be wait a moment I am I'm
supposed to be going down the river and
so I get back in I bump into like every
single Rock I mean that's sort of like
my experience with everything and so um
one of the massive failures that I had
um is with tedmed I was invited actually
Jay Walker the CEO of Price Line um was
the CEO of of of tedmed and he gave me a
call and said hey I would like to invite
you to give a talk on your bio
inspiration work how you turn to nature
for inspiration you know over to to
develop medical Technologies I initially
said no because I was so frightened um I
had not memorized anything since um
public school and I um but then I
thought about it and I was like okay I
will never be asked again to to speak on
this stage and I went and I said yes and
by the way just for you listening this
is like part of the Ted conference
franchise this is like
academic
superhero this is the stage where all
your peers are staring down at you this
is global re so this isn't like come to
the school basement and give a chat yeah
this is an invitation to stand before
everybody in the medical research
Community globally and just boom go and
what happened so what happened was I
practiced like crazy I rented out the
kresy auditorium at MIT which is the
biggest Auditorium I presented to four
people my family who were there um I
presented in front of so many different
people and um I knew that talk inside
and out it was like 15 minutes purely
memorized I had slides I had animations
I had to get the timing right I had to
make it looked like I didn't memorize it
you know like there was all these sort
of stages and I was ready to go and I
get to tedmed it was at the Kennedy
Center in DC and um and they I practice
my talk and they suggest gu some changes
and I'm like oh my God I can't change it
now it's tomorrow so I try to figure out
how am I going to cuz I've memorized it
then we go on stage beforehand there
there's sort of like walkth through and
they say by the way the clicker only
goes forward it doesn't go back if you
go too fast and hit it you know you have
to yell to the AV person can you go back
as and I'm like there's no way I'm doing
that and they said sometimes people
freeze in the middle of their talk they
said the two reactions that we've seen
is one run off the stage they said don't
run off the stage if that happens the
second reaction we've seen is people
will actually start crying they said
don't do that either and the third
reaction is when you dump in your
drawers and throw out your pants so I'm
sure that's happened at some point so I
mean so and then they said just stand
there and smile and so I am like you
know I'm ready to go I'm like I get a
Packa halls in my hand I'm eating them
all right before I go up I get up on
stage I am I have it so well memorized
that I can think about other things it's
five highdef cameras on me being live
streamed throughout the world it's
filled at this Kennedy Center in DC the
president of my institutions in the
audience and I get to the middle of my
talk and I think to myself I missed a
line I there was a line that I forgot to
say and my mind couldn't get unhooked
from that and I stopped in the middle of
it for 15 seconds I said nothing now 15
seconds is a very long time to
pause on this type of a stage on any
stage put us in that moment yeah what
was happening for you well I my I was so
nervous I you know had this like
visceral reaction where it was like this
negativity came within me I'm trying to
think okay I can't run off the stage I
can't start crying they want me to smile
the swear words are going through my
head I'm holding the clicker trying to
like use it like a lightning rod of
energy and you can see me like coin like
this with it like I'm smiling and I'm
like the only thing I can think of is to
turn the slide and so I hit the clicker
to go forward I turn the slide a blank
slide and I'm like what the [ __ ] and
then I'm like what is that I go forward
again and something magical happens
which is I'm like wait a moment I know
what I'm supposed to say on this Slide
the last slide was a Quee I know what
I'm supposed to say there and I just
started up again and as I'm walking off
the stage the stage manager Whispers to
me she goes we can cut that out for the
YouTube version and that was it so I and
then somebody came to me afterwards and
they said I noticed you paused in the
middle of your talk and I'm like uh like
you know like I think everybody did and
they said but the fact you were able to
recover is really important and you know
think about that and I had actually been
shamed earlier in my life when I gave a
presentation just one presentation I've
given so many that imprinted and created
anxiety and fear and every time I
presented after that and this allowed me
to detach from that experience and gain
more confidence because I knew that
anytime moving forward if I stopped that
I could find my word again and keep
going and so it's like this this tool is
focusing Beyond failure it's about
finding ways to look at failure
completely differently to see it as
opportunities where we can find our
greatest insights um and and and
opportunities for growth and to me one
of the key things in all the failures
that I've ever
encountered that to is just huge it's so
big um is what you were saying before
like we have these expectations even the
first time we the first time we try
things we expect we're going to
miraculously succeed in everything we do
right like that's our expectation we go
in with that and what I've realized is
that if we reframe failure like we learn
in school failures over here success is
over here avoid failure maximize success
I see it as a prerequisite to success I
see failure as an opportunity to be
creative as an opportunity to explore
other possibilities you didn't think of
before I see failure now as as a way to
learn and that's the shift right so I'll
give you an example where I think this
will become really clear the first talk
that I was invited to give on lit was at
Stanford right many months ago I'd never
spoken about it I put all these slides
together I was super nervous and I mean
I I didn't even know how to talk about
the book I'd been writing it I hadn't
been communicating it and I get there
and I said to myself it took you know
took me a lot a lot of processing and I
said to myself you know what Jeff you're
going to give it your best but this is
Gen 1.0 I said focus on doing your best
but also tapping into the cues that you
get from people as you're speaking what
are the insights so you can move to gen
2.0 and 2.0 is going to be better than
1.0 so I was able to shift away from the
expectation of giving a spectacular talk
to focusing on the learnings the
insights I could gain to make the talk
better cuz I was like probably going to
be a generation 5.0 a 10.0 a 20.0 you
know whatever it is and that shift is
basically focusing on away from success
and moving that to learning to gaining
an Insight so you're focusing on the
evolution and that's changed everything
for me I love that so I relate to that
because as I was writing the let them
Theory Book I kept saying to the team
we're going to go through like 20
iterations of this we're going to just
this isn't about getting something too
perfect it's about the iteration step
one step two step three and so you're
absolutely right focusing on I gotta
have a failed first draft and then a
failed second draft and a failed third
draft to get to the point where I
actually love this thing and can I give
you some advice about speaking Yeah
please because I think what the people
said to
you was horrible advice so number one
it's always important to understand that
the audience has no idea what you're
about to say or what you're supposed to
say and so if you can remind yourself
that they have no idea what I'm supposed
to say so I'm not supposed to get it
right I'm supposed to actually get
through it and try to enjoy myself and
if you're having a good time with it
then they're going to have a good time
with you yeah second thing I want you to
understand is that there is a tremendous
amount of research about what happened
when another person sees somebody else
screwing up whether they're tripping up
the stairs or they freeze for a minute
or they slide like I've had so many
moments where I've literally been in
front of 10,000 people and the clicker
stops
working and you've got a stadium in your
hands and the amazing thing about those
moments is that if you can get to the
point where like I just forgot what I
was supposed to say guess I better hit
the next slide um guess it wasn't that
important click you know people root for
you we like and cheer for people when we
see their
vulnerability and if you can give
yourself that Grace and here's the final
thing always before you walk on stage
you will always forever feel nervous no
matter how prepared you are because
you're about to be in the spotlight and
that activates the alarm system in your
nervous system because you're going to
go into hyper pay attention
mode instead of going oh my God I'm so
nervous and chomping on the halls and
pacing back and forth and re like
reiterating reiterating re literally say
to yourself I'm so excited to get out
there and share this I'm so excited
because that simple reframe they have
actually studied this at one of the
institutions you're involved with
Harvard Medical School is that simple
reframe get your brain to tell your
nervous system we're not nervous here
we're actually in a state of excitement
and that helps you from having your
nervous system hijack your prefrontal
cortex which means you can access the
preparation so true but in that moment
when you're freeze try to make a joke I
just forgot what it was gonna say and
you'll be shocked at what happens yeah
Rudy tany um is a neuroscientist who
spoke about some elements of what you
just what you just said in the book and
he said that um he he he said before he
goes to give a talk he says to himself I
am here to
serve I'm here to serve
and it's more like he had it's not he's
here for a performance he's here to
share he's here to give what he has his
gifts his work he's and and to me again
it's it's it's just what's that other
possibility that can switch us from
fight or flight and put us into that
moment where we feel empowered we feel
connected we feel like we're we're we're
truly sharing what we have with
everybody you know every single day we
get questions from people around the
world who feel like they're just kind of
stuck they're on autopilot just going
through the motions do you have a life
ignition tool that you can use if you
find yourself living in
autopilot absolutely yeah great okay one
of the tools that you can use um in this
situation is called flip the switch and
it's all about um Rec recognizing
patterns that don't match up uh can you
give me an example like like where would
you use flip the switch in your life
okay so here here's an example of flip
the switch okay
um my
ADHD uh really created a lot of
struggles for me early on my learning
differences and um in the seventh grade
I was actually identified as having
learning differences in ADHD and I got
some accommodations and that was really
a pivotal moment for me but what
happened was is that my ADHD was still
really problematic and Troublesome for
me my learning differences and it just
presented daily challenges and so I
really needed everything took me two or
three times longer than everybody else
um I would constantly be staying after
school I'd go on in on weekends to meet
with teachers the ones that would be
available all through high school like
you know whenever I could I just it was
always like a it was like was trudging
through um I don't even know what but it
was just slow slow slow progress and
everything and so I needed to find ways
to become more efficient and so I
started to just focus my attention on
efficiency and I was just so um so
focused on becoming more efficient that
over time I started to become more
efficient I started to be able to do
more I started to be able to focus my
attention at will I started to be able
to navigate the world and ways that I
had never navigated before to be able to
to learn and to to um succeed in my
classes and and you know I started to
thrive and what happened was I got so
addicted to the dopamine hits from my
work because now I was just able to just
do almost like two marathons worth of
work in a day and when Co hit um
everything came crashing down in my
living room um I had realized that I was
completely out of touch I would be going
to birthday parties I would be going to
I'd be going to birthday parties and I
would be trying to network with other
parents who were there versus focusing
on the purpose of the birthday party
which was to connect with my children
and and and I would be at soccer
practices and I would be trying to get
my 10,000 steps I'd be walking around
the soccer field you sound pretty
intense over and over and over again to
get my 10,000 steps I'd be going for
walks with my dogs and I would have
Netflix on the phone and I'd watch an
episode of Game of Thrones as I took
them for a walk around the neighborhood
you're that guy I'm that guy I'm that I
I was that guy I was that guy and and it
was all because I had been so focused on
just that I was just so addicted to the
dopamine that I was getting from my work
because I became very efficient I was
able to do way more than I had ever done
before but that was actually taking me
off track got it and I co was this
unintentional pause where everything
came crashing down literally in my
living room and I was like okay I need
to change and that's where I engage flip
the switch okay which is a four-step
process what is that so the first step
is to notice your inner desire for
possibility so it's this idea that you
know in that moment I knew that there
was another another way of living
another way of being there was something
I I I there was something I could do
that I wasn't doing and I felt
disconnected so I really was in touch
with other possibilities that I needed
to discover the second step is to take
stock of what's working and what's
holding you back okay and I had
developed these incredible efficiencies
in my lab in my work things were going
extremely well but at home it was a
complet different scenario it's like I
looked up and all of a sudden my son was
quarterback of the high school football
team it was you know my kids were
teenagers all these years had passed and
I I I I felt there was something deep
that was missing there was something
more that that I I needed to engage
there was I I needed to figure this out
you I needed to figure myself out you
were missing I needed to turn inward and
and so that is what uh that was what was
holding me back and the third step was
to consider other possibilities other
ways of thinking and at the time my wife
um was engaged in in sort of seeking out
these answers to some spiritual
questions that she had and she was
speaking to some spiritual leaders in
the community and um and I was like you
know it took me a while to kind of look
around I was like oh my God she's having
these conversations these are the
conversations that I need to be having
at this moment so I ident I identified
this was the third step the other
possibilities are right in front of me
and the fourth step is to take a
deliberate step forward and so I asked
my wife to introduce me to these
spiritual people that she was engaging
and she did and I started to meet with
them and um I started practicing
meditation and it it it I tried it
before and it didn't really work like
apps and all these things but I I sort
of was connected to Transcendental
Meditation which is this one-word Mantra
that you say over and over in your mind
and what I started to notice as I
practiced it and I I practiced it for
two or three months that's all actually
I needed and what I noticed was that
these thoughts would come into my mind
there would usually be an emotion
associated with the thought and I'd be
in the middle of meditation and I'd be
like oh my God I didn't write that email
and I'd be jumping out of the meditation
you need a seat Bel in your own
meditation I needed a seat Bel yeah
notepad to JW it down but one of the
amazing things that I recognized is that
as that was happening I noticed that if
I didn't jump out of the meditation if I
could hold myself there that that
thought and the emotion would actually
subside it would leave my mind and all
of a sudden that that became this this
light bulb moment for me because what I
noticed was when I was in conversation
with my wife with my children I started
to notice the energy of the conversation
I started to notice that if let's say
you know my kids are teenagers and if
they're speaking and all of a sudden I
want to say something I want to
interject the energy shifts from them to
me and they stop speaking and now it's
on me but that's not my intention my
intention is for them to find their
voice from for for for me to be
supportive of them and not for me to
take over or for the attention to be on
me and so the meditation helped me
develop tools for navigating
conversations with people with everybody
and now I'm very um you know in my mind
during conversations it's wired in I
notice the energy of the conversation
and and and I feel like the ADHD brain
um because it's bouncing around and and
and people with ADHD often forget what
they're going to say and it it that can
be painful and so you want to just jump
out and say it and through this process
I've been able to sort of um keep myself
present so that I'm not jumping out and
interjecting and whenever I do that I I
feel like it's almost like this box
appears in my mind and it's a little
check che check mark because it feels
like a win and and when I do that when I
pause and think about that anytime I've
had just these moments of intentionality
in my day and I just pause in that
moment and sort of check you know put a
little check um it feels amazing and it
sort of fuels more
intentionality so I would love to on the
flip the switch you said four because I
want to make sure anybody that feels
stuck understands that there's these
four short steps yeah that you can go
through and that there is another way
that there's always another way to do
life and so I'm assuming that in any
area of your life where you're bumping
up against friction whether you feel
like you're on autopilot or you're sick
of where your health and your state of
kind of being in shape or not is if
you're tired of your drinking habit if
you feel friction in your relationship
you're saying there is a life ignition
tool you should tap called flip the
switch and so Step One is what noticing
your inner desire for possibility
fabulous and for possibility you mean I
don't want it to like because for me
you're speaking in a way that sounds
very empowered I'm very negative when I
feel frustrated so I start to go what
the f you know like I literally am like
I don't want to do
so notice that you don't want it to be
this way that there is a positive you
want positive change yeah what's the
second step is to take stock of what's
working and what's holding you back
because we always have things that are
working for us and it's important to
acknowledge them yes because they're
that that's empowering yes it is and
step three then once you've taken stock
is to notice other possibilities and and
other ways of thinking because I think
in our lives we're often just living a
single possibility but in any moment
there's Limitless possibilities and to
me that's also one of the powers of
diversity one of the reasons why we need
to flood our lives with with diverse
ways of thinking and to spend time with
people who think differently um who um
you know have different ways of being
different ways of acting because what it
can do is it can help you to identify
other possibilities it's what we use in
my laboratory for solving problems we
Max we use diversity as a superpower and
I've done that in my relationship with
Chris when we've been in situations
where we're ready to kill each other
like reaching out to friends have you
ever dealt with this like what would you
recommend so there are other ways and
then you said the fourth step was taking
a deliberate step forward and for me
simply reaching out to somebody that I
admire or that is a trusted friend just
reaching out for the advice makes me
feel better so I didn't realize I was
using your tool flip the switch but
that's
exactly the way I've approached these
moments too because they're always is a
better way and one of my favorite ones
because it's something I had never heard
before is this concept of pinch your
brain what is it how do you use it why
do I need it what is pinching your brain
Dr carp
pinching your brain is using your
intention to focus your attention um to
think or redirect your thinking
throughout your day in meaningful ways
so how do you you like how would you use
this in your day-to-day life how do you
use it now okay I'll give you an example
I brought I brought two pens one for for
you go sorry thr there I'm holding a a
pen that has a red end and you're
holding a pen that has a blue end and
I'm I'm assuming this is intentional
well maybe we'll see um so so the way
that we can practice pinch your brain
right is to take something in your
environment and focus your attention on
it and notice the nuances right and so
this is something you can do anywhere in
your life you can do it inside outside
any room and so if I say to you okay
hold this pen in your hand like
typically we just grab the pen we write
with it and we put it back down we don't
think about it because our thoughts are
moving all over the place and so at this
moment we could say what we're going to
do is pinch our brain just by focusing
on the nuances of the pen so let's look
at the pen together and say okay what
are the different colors what are the
different textures how is the light
reflecting off the pen how is is there
any writing on it what does it say turn
the pen around start to look at it and
what we're actually doing here is we're
using Our intention to focus our
attention we're squeezing out the other
thoughts and we're focusing on the 10
now this seems really simple and you're
like okay you know I'm just you know how
is that helpful but what I found is that
if you do this if you make a practice of
it and you can do it outside as you're
going for a walk you can look at the
texture of the bark on the trees you can
look at the clouds you can look there's
so many things to look at when you start
to notice the nuances you start to also
not only focusing your attention you're
connecting with what you're looking at
and there's this energy exchange that
happens you just said a whole lot there
so I want to make sure that I impact
this which is this strategy and tactic
of pinching your brain I would imagine
you can tap into this anytime you feel
overwhelmed anytime you feel stressed
out anytime you're Doom scrolling
anytime you feel caught in that
devastating cycle of ruminating right
over and over on negative thoughts he's
saying find any object in your
environment and as you're listening to
us you can look around it could be a
coffee mug it could be a cloud it could
be like anything really and by pinching
your brain he's saying you can squeeze
out any of the worries or rumination or
overwhelm that you feel by just focusing
on the details of an object that is with
ins sight and what happens like what is
the benefit I can see the immediate
benefit is you take control of your mind
but what have you found over time if you
make this a practice when you catch
yourself feeling overwhelmed that you
use this pinch your brain tool so every
time that you do this it's like a bicep
curl for your attention okay and so is
this really good for somebody like me
and you with ADHD very good yeah okay
why is pinching your brain good for
somebody with ADHD because when you have
ADHD um your mind is filled with
multiple thoughts that are just
constantly bouncing around and your
frequently finding yourself um not using
your intention for where your attention
is focused so I think in today's society
our attention is so atomized because we
have stimuli coming at us from every
direction um online you know the goal of
of of of companies who operate online is
to grab your attention and there's a
trillion dollars that's spent every year
to hijack your attention so un mark and
advertising every single year and so our
especially people with ADHD they fall
prey the most to these types of stimuli
and so what we need to do is it's kind
of like our attention if you think of it
almost like a muscle um the more we
intentionally or on purpose focus our
attention the more we are able to do
that on command on demand for other
areas of our life that are most
meaningful to us as we sit here Dr carp
and have this conversation I'm always
thinking that there's one human being
that truly needed all of the things that
you're talking about today and because
you've shared so openly about all of the
things that you have struggled with from
second grade forward and I keep thinking
about our son who had dyslexia and ADHD
and wasn't diagnosed until later and had
to repeat grades and how lonely he felt
and I just you have gone on to run one
of the most acclaimed academic
scientific research labs in the entire
planet you are involved in over
30,000 studies that have been you know
where your lab has been cited would you
talk
directly to a kid that might be
listening with their parent
about what's
possible you know if you could talk to
you as an 8 n 10year old what you wished
you knew back
then absolutely I love
that um well to me I would first start
by saying that um one of the key things
that really happened to me that was um
critical along my path is that I was a c
and d student early on I was nearly
failing out
um you know cuz nothing nothing was
working and I was thinking about this
earlier today and I was kind of getting
emotional about it because you know I
don't like to think about that time too
much because it was really difficult for
me I all the labels I was getting lazy
um you know they I they asked me at one
point what do you want to be when you
grow up and I said I want to be a doctor
and they said you better set your sights
lower because you just don't have what
it takes to do that um they said you're
never going to amount to much and um and
that really took a toll and the one
thing the one thing that kept me going
during that time is the support that I
had from my parents and in particular my
mom um there were these speech
competitions at the school that started
I think in the fourth or fifth grade and
my mom wrote the speeches for me and she
helped me memorized and I had never
memorized anything before and and I was
really I had a lot of anxiety I had you
know I felt lost but she said okay let's
start with one word let's move to two
words let as soon I was I had a sentence
memorized and then I had two sentences
memorized and then I had three and four
and I could tap into the fact that
things were changeable that I could
actually memorize something I didn't
think I could and then she would coach
me and how to say it how to how to give
the the speech and what happened was was
incredible because I started to win
competitions I started to be the kid to
beat and I think that every kid every
person needs to have that one thing
where they can tap into the fact that
things are changeable that one thing
where they can gain that incremental
confidence and tap tap into it feel it
in a very visceral way because when you
do that you can apply it to all the
other areas in your life and and and and
that truly is what allowed me to keep
going and to then start to develop these
tools which eventually I applied from
from surviving to thriving is that what
you wish somebody would have told you
that things are
changeable because I find your story
fascinating and I know that there are
there's somebody listening that feels
that exact way about their son or
daughter and you have an extraordinary
amount of resilience and just like I'm
plowing ahead there's a rock I'm going
here I'm going here I'm going here and
what is it that you want to say to some
kid that is in that space right now that
doesn't feel like things are
changing well I would start by saying
the following I believe in you I will
always believe in you no matter what
labels you get no matter who has shamed
you before no matter what terrible
things have happened to you no matter
what kind of self shame you induce on
yourself there is a way out there are
infinite possibilities the possibility
you're living right now is not the one
that defines you you can break out of it
and you just need some tools and
strategies you just need to experiment a
little bit in your life just to see
beyond that possibility and I am here to
help you I am will always be here for
you and I am excited for what the future
holds beautiful and no matter what I
want you to know that there is at least
one thing that you are good at that you
can tap into and develop and it will
inspire the world that is so beautiful
Dr karp what are your parting words I
just have so much excitement for for
life and for what life holds for
everybody and and I I think that it's
like you know I have experienced so many
setbacks so many challenges so many
times when I said I've heard it can't be
done you can't do this you're not good
enough I I've experienced so many
moments where I I feel disconnected from
the people around me where um I don't
feel Innovative anymore I don't feel
creative I I I don't feel like I can get
myself out of this situation where I'm
in a dark place where I I just don't
know what the future holds that I'm
caught behind fear behind hesitation and
I think that there what I've learned in
the process of my life and in writing
this book and in listening to your
podcast and you know all the tools and
the reframes is that we need tools we
need rituals we need practices we need
each other we need diversity we need to
be seeing things from different angles
and different frames of references and
this has a way of showing us new
possibilities other possibilities so
that we don't end up trapped in this
linear way that our minds gravitate to
towards this this single possibility
that we find ourselves trapped within
and this I think it just
this illuminates us when we have tools
and when we can actually do these
reframes and so I'm just really excited
for everyone out there I'm excited for
you to to experience lit and to and I'm
I'm excited to to hear um what resonates
and I'd love to hear your stories well
Dr Jeff
karp thank you
for opening up so much possibility and
also doing it in a way where you have
given us so many simple tools that we
can put to use
immediately and just like Dr karp said I
can't wait to hear what you do with
everything he just taught us and shared
with you and I can't wait to see what
happens in your life and the people that
you care about in their life when you
share this episode with them and in case
no one else tells you I wanted to be
sure to tell you that I love you and I
believe in you and I believe in your
ability to create a better life and
there's absolutely no doubt in my mind
that everything that Dr karp has shared
with you today will help you do that
there is so much more possibility so
many amazing things that you are capable
of achieving and experiencing in your
life and every one of the things that he
gave you as a simple way to look at
things differently and unlock your
potential are going to help you take
that next step all righty I'll see you
in the next episode and I want to make
sure to also say thank you thank you
thank you for watching all the way to
the end didn't you love Dr karp I mean I
just have like a huge brain crush just
hanging around it makes me feel like my
brain is bigger and so is my heart and
so I love love love this I love spending
time with you one other thing I want to
ask you it is my goal to make sure that
50% of the people that watch the YouTube
channel are subscribers why because it
shows me that you really love the work
that we're putting out it's making a
difference for you so if you could hit
the Subscribe that's going to help me
close the gap we are 8% away from reach
reaching that goal if 50% of the people
that watch are subscribers all right
good you don't get what you don't ask
for so I'm asking you thank you thank
you thank you for supporting me and I
now know what you're thinking all right
Mel this is great I've subscribed but
what do you want me to do next where
should I go next what's the next best
video it's right here if you love Dr
karp you're going to love this next
episode and I'll be waiting for you in
it