Transcription
[Music]
Hey, you still awake? Huh, guess not. The mission must have taken more out of you than I expected, but you did a good job anyway.
I was going to ask if you wanted to go out to eat or something, but that's out of the question now. It would have been a bother to find a place that's open at this time anyway. You must have been really tired; you're out like a light. I wouldn't be surprised if you started loudly snoring.
You are still alive, right? Yeah, you're good. I might as well join you. You've got the more comfortable bed out of the two of us.
I never really understood how you can sleep so deeply, so peacefully, unaware of the world. It almost makes me jealous. I don't think there's ever a moment when I'm not tense, despite how unbothered I act. Sleep is hardly an escape.
I can't remember the last time I've gotten a full night's rest. It's like there's a constant voice in my head reminding me of everything that I've gone through, everything that I've done. I would give anything just to silence it, to not have to be constantly dragged into the past.
It's not like I can change anything, only hope for revenge, but it's still annoying. Being around you helps, kind of. You have a knack for getting yourself into trouble, which I have to help you get out of. God, what would you do without me?
You've still got a lot to learn if you want to keep up with us, especially with me. I still don't get why you're so attached to me. I'm not exactly the most approachable guy. I was never really one to have friends. People are either allies or enemies, no matter if one or the other. I'm not required to care about them, but you are a special case, and that's what confuses me.
You and I are similar yet so different. Hell, if you see any good in me, then we might just be polar opposites. Yet we get along, and I actually enjoy spending time with you, whether we're on missions together or just hanging out around the base.
You make it easy to forget everything, and somehow I manage to only focus on you, your smile, and your laugh. God, what are you doing to me? Turning me into a damn sap, gushing over how cute you are.
I sound like a teenager with a crush. If I start sharing secrets with Toga, I need you to end me. At least you're not awake to hear me blabbering. I don't think I could ever look you in the eye if you heard all this crap.
Maybe one day I'll tell you, but I wouldn't count on it anytime soon. I like what we are right now. I'm getting more comfortable with it as is. I mean, I can share a bed with you with no second thought. It feels nice.
But in the back of my mind, I can't help but wonder what it would be like if we were more. I feel so selfish when I do, though. I always think about how you can do better than this, than me. You deserve better than a villain's life.
I wish I could give you the world. I don't have anything going for me. I can't offer stability or normalcy. It's so damn hard for me to open up about anything. Even my body is falling apart. I'd be about as useful a boyfriend as an actual zombie.
I want to be the right guy for you, but is that even possible? And what if I did become who you deserve? I'd lose myself completely in the process. Could I even be content like that, knowing that everything about me needed to change to make you happy?
Ah, this is why I said this confuses me. I stayed away from deeper feelings for a reason. It's easier to stay focused on my anger and my revenge because at least that only concerns me. When it comes to you, I can't help myself. My priorities shift, and suddenly you're the only thing I care about.
Losing that feeling of control I have over myself and my emotions is scary. That sounds so ridiculous. I'm a criminal, a murderer. I live on spite and malice. People fear my name, yet I'm scared because I can't figure out what to do about my feelings. What a joke.
I can't admit that I care for you, but I can't just let you go either. When did this get so complicated? I'm a villain; I should just go for what I want. Why is it so hard to be self-absorbed now?
I almost wish you were awake to hear this. It would take a hell of a weight off my chest, but that would be too easy, wouldn't it? What is a villain without their mysterious nature and secrets?
I promise I'll tell you eventually. Maybe I'll take the time to plan something romantic, or I'll just do it randomly on a whim. It's hard to tell which would be better at this point. Just pull out a Shigaraki, sending us on a mission.
By the way, I might be in love with you. Got to admit, that would certainly be an interesting way to start a relationship. But no, if I were to actually admit all this crap to you when you're actually conscious, I would put in the effort.
The part that really gets me is that it's not even guaranteed that you would feel the same. Maybe you like us better as friends. I wouldn't really blame you either. I don't really give the impression that I'm dating material.
I've never envisioned myself loving someone else in a romantic sense. Never had the best example of what love looked like growing up. But maybe I could take that chance for you. I'd be willing to try, at least. I know what not to do.
Right, wait for me. I'll be ready one day. Just like one day I'll kiss your lips instead of your cheek. Good night, doll.
[Music]
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