Transcription
We're shooting, uh, to be better people. We're shooting to like, get, maybe get rid of some vices. We're, we're, we're shooting to, uh, to be stronger, to be better, to be holier. But is that the actual goal of the spiritual life?
Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmidz, and this is Essentia Presents. I've always liked Theo. Like, back in the early 2000s, he was on a couple reality shows, maybe one reality show, multiple seasons, but I remember just like seeing this guy. He was, you know, younger back then. Everyone's younger back then. But he recently was talking about his prayer life. Someone had called in and said, "Hey, Theo, I have this question."
>> Hey, Theo, long time listener, first time caller.
And they, they kind of bear their soul about like this cycle of falling back into sin and then retreating and being alone, but then going back to sin and all these things. And Theo had this incredible reflection on his own, his own life, his own heart.
>> Thanks so much for the call. I don't think you said your name at the beginning. Uh, but thank you. For me, I would ask God to help me and I, and I would be like, I, I would pray.
His prayer was, "Okay, God, here's this broken thing. Here's this thing in my life I don't want." Again, that's the vice we have. That's the, the, the thing in us that's just like, "Man, if I could just get over this, okay, if I could just get past this thing, then I'd be free. Like, then I'd be at peace. Then I'd be, then I'd be holy. Then I'd be perfect." And he, the way he talked about his prayer was just so accurate. This is how all of our prayers have to be. He said, "I'm coming before God and saying, God, please take this thing from me." Like, I don't want to go back to this. But he said, "But the next level of prayer was," and then I would add to my prayer, I would say, "And even God, even as I pray to you right now, there's a part of me that knows I'm probably lying to you. There's a part of me that knows I'm going to do that behavior again. So, can you come into that part of me and help me there? Help me in the part of me that knows as I pray that I am, that I'm lying."
And he went on to this reflection of, I think it was the, the man at the pool Bethesda where Jesus asks him, "Do you want to be healed?" And Theo has this reflection on, you might think it's a dumb question, but it's not a dumb question because why? Because if you're healed, then you have to live a new life. If you're healed, you have to live a new story. And as Theo was reflecting on this, he kept going back to this place of saying, "I think I want a new story. I think I want a new story, but I don't want that story anymore." You know, I want something different. And it's scary to say that I want to have a new story because I'm so used to like how those other feelings work. I know who to be angry at. I know how to operate here. And I know how to operate there. And I know who to not give love to. And I, you know, I know how to make like love like very conditional. But I think I want a new story, dude. And it's crazy for me to even say that again. So vulnerable, like just so honest.
He reflected on, he said, you know, I was, when I was a, a kid, my mom wouldn't, there were many times when my mom wouldn't look at me. And he said, "I think that really, really wounded me that here's the person who created me who won't even, won't even look at me." And he went on to say that he's been unpacking that for a long, long time and that he loves his mom and his mom loves him, but that was wounded. He said, "I just, I want to look in someone's eyes and have them be pleased with me."
That, in some ways, that is the goal. Relationship. The goal of the spiritual life is not perfection. Yes, Jesus said, "Be perfect as the Father is perfect." The goal of the spiritual life is not perfection. The goal of the spiritual life is union. The goal of the spiritual life is to have an intimate, close relationship with God. And this is why Theo's prayer was so good. Because what do we do? We are standing before God in prayer. Like, we're here. We are coming before the Lord, the God Almighty, who we know loves us. We know that. How does he, how much does he love us? He loves us so much that he gave his only beloved son, that anyone who believes in him would not perish but have eternal life. That we know this God who loves us so much. And we're standing before him in prayer and we lie to him. Or at least we hide from him. Maybe we're not lying, but there's so often where we don't actually tell him what's in our hearts and we hide from him. And in doing that, we're missing the entire point of the spiritual life, which is union, which is relationship.
We get sidetracked. We get distracted, of course, because sin is real, right? Vice is real. And we want to avoid all of those things. They are things that get in the way of union. They are things that get in the way of relationship. But just getting rid of those things and just having no more sin, no more vice, that isn't the point. It's the process to get to the point. Which is one of the reasons why he said, you know, "I want a new story." What does that new story look like? The new story looks like, yep, all this history, it's part of my, part of my past. Maybe even some of these inclinations I still have might be part of my present. But I walk through those. I carry them. I even experience them in relationship with God.
Okay, I need one quick clarification. Union doesn't just mean relationship. Union also means I want what he wants. Union also means I will what the Father wills. Right? So it's not just kind of like, hey, we, we talk a lot and we're united. That's wonderful. But it also means my heart has been conformed to his heart. It's not just that sense of like, okay, bring my heart and like, okay, God, you have my heart now. I'm taking it back. Make sure it's, it's intact. Make sure it's exactly the same as it was when I handed it to you. No, actually, when I hand him my heart, that union reshapes my heart so that it begins to look like his. It reshapes my desires so I begin to love what he loves and hate what he hates. Union means we have a relationship where I'm seen and he is seen by me, and also we're of the same mind and heart.
Theo says, "I want a new story." You're like, "Yes, yes, you can have a new story." Theo says, "I want someone to look at me and just be pleased with me." Amen. This is what the Father declares over his beloved son, Jesus. "This is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased. Listen to him." So Theo, to listen to Jesus. And for us to listen to Jesus. And the more we listen to Jesus, the more we're like Jesus, the more we have union with Christ. The goal of the spiritual life is not perfection. The goal of the spiritual life is union. And because of God's grace, there is nothing, nothing stopping you and stopping me from having that union. You and I can choose to be a saint, like right now. So why not, why not choose it right now?
Anyways, for all of us here at Ascension Presents, my name is Father Mike. God bless.
>> Uh-huh.
>> That was scary. Siri just jumped on. Be quiet, Siri.