Transcription
We are not playing games anymore. This summer, you are going to take the life that you want. You are no longer waiting for it to be the perfect time and opportunity. You are no longer waiting for somebody to offer it to you. You are going to take it. Why? Because who deserves to live your dream life more than you? The person who actually has those dreams? Who deserves to have that man? Who deserves to have that business? Who deserves to have that body more than you? No one.
So, in this video, I'm going to teach you how to do that. How to change your life before the summer so you can literally take the life that you want because we are no longer waiting for someone to give it to us. We tried that already and it didn't work. It is time for us to take it and make it our own.
So, in this video, I'm going to give you three areas in your life you can change from mentally to physical and also lifestyle changes to help you change your life before the summertime. So, the first one we are going to start out with the physical category. If you are suffering from skin issues, if you're suffering from bloating, if you're even suffering from feeling fatigued, always tired, drained, a bit lethargic, we need to get you on an anti-inflammatory diet. This is because a lot of the foods that we eat are high in inflammation. And we need to understand a lot of times how our body feels and looks on the outside is a reflection of what's going on in the inside. And so many people aren't aware that they are eating such high inflammation foods and it's literally their body trying to get rid of the toxins and that's why they're always bloated or because their body can't properly process all these foods. So they're bloated, they're having skin issues. I want you to start eating anti-inflammatory foods. High inflammatory foods are processed foods.
So this is things that sometimes you don't even think about, right? Sandwich meat that is a highly processed food. And when you think about processed foods, I think sometimes people think about it always has to be like candy and sugar. Of course, we want you to cut out fat, but at the same time, I want you to understand the longer the distance between the animal and your plate shows the more processed. So, even when it comes to things such as sausages, I hate to be that person. And a lot of these things too, you can eat them, but just in moderation. You have to think about it. They cure a lot of these sausages. A lot of these sausages honestly already come cooked or smoked. All you have to do is kind of like heat them up. Um, and it's because it is a highly processed food. And so I want you to start eating anti-inflammatory foods. You literally can go on chat GPT and search up anti-inflammatory foods or anti-inflammatory diet. But once I started doing that, I started noticing a difference especially like in my face and in my stomach bloating. I started noticing a lessening up of my acne. Um, different things can also help in variation. So, for example, something like rice. Rice always isn't quote unquote high inflammatory, but depending on the color of the rice. So, white rice is more high inflammatory than let's say a brown rice. I actually have been eating a lot of quinoa lately. Um, getting fiber in your diet is great as well because I know a lot of people are on their fitness goals and that means we are going to be eating a lot of protein, protein, protein, but you want this protein to process throughout your body. So, we want to get fiber in as well. But definitely start eating an anti-inflammatory diet. Some people can't even lose weight because they have such high inflammation. So, you might be working out. You might be on a fitness plan. You're like, "Why am I not seeing a difference? I'm eating healthy," but a lot of these foods that we eat, we look at it as being healthy because we cooked it at home, but it's highly processed. It's high inflammation, and our bodies aren't able to process it. And a lot of times, it's staying in our bodies, and it's just causing toxins and stuff. So the first thing I would say is get on and figure out an anti-inflammatory diet.
So the next one we of course we have to talk about fitness when it comes to being physical. I want you to set out a clear goal. The problem that a lot of people have is they're trying to do a whole bunch of things. They want to build muscle here. They want to get endurance there. They're trying to lose body fat here. Figure out one clear goal and then we're going to build upon that. So it should be in one of three areas: either you are trying to lose visible body fat, you are trying to gain visible muscle, or you are just trying to build your endurance and possibly your strength. Um, which kind of doesn't really go too much in like your physique too too too much, but it's just as far as like just able to run a little bit faster. You're able to lift weights a little bit more and you're like, "I like the body that I have. Maybe I can tone it up a little little bit," but for the most part, I'm just trying to build endurance and strength. That's what that category is. So, pick one of three: Lose visible body fat, increase your visible muscle, which is like just the muscle people can see in certain areas, or you just want to build endurance or strength.
Now, based upon that specific goal you want to achieve, we are going to essentially reverse engineer that to create a bit of a schedule. So, first and foremost, I would say create a workout schedule. Um, figure out what workouts will specifically help you do that. I would say try to work out three times a week in different variations, but figure out what time would you be working out. Figure out what workouts you would do. The whole point of this is to curate a lifestyle for yourself that you will start following and it will honestly be more of an easier habit by the time summertime comes. So figure out what is a schedule for yourself. Don't just say, "Well, I'm going to start going to the gym or I'm going to start on the treadmill. Okay, well I'm going to kind of do the treadmill for, let's say, 30 minutes um at 9:00 a.m. on Tuesday." Figure out specific times for things and figure out specific things that you are going to do that is in line with like we said the clear goal that you have.
The next one we need you to do is figure out your hidden sabotages. So when it comes to fitness and that's why the first thing I talked about was your health as far as what you're eating. One of the biggest sabotages to a lot of people is what they are eating. So you cannot outwork a bad diet. You can work out as much as you want; you can go to the gym as much as you want, but like I said, if you're eating a lot of these high inflammatory foods or just in general foods that are bad for you or just drinks, you know, you're drinking all the time, you are not going to be able to see the results that you want. So, I'm going to need you to figure out what are some of your hidden sabotages. Is it that you like to go out to drinks every single weekend? Is it that you are constantly eating bad food at the gym and it's the only thing available and you always eat a Pop-Tart because it's easy and it's fast, you don't want to cook? Figure out some of your hidden sabotages and then figure out how you're going to work those out. So, for example, you always eat Pop-Tarts or things that aren't healthy after the gym. Maybe we need to start meal prepping. Maybe we need to start having something ready for when we eat after the gym. But also, hidden sabotages can be conflicting with you actually going to the gym and working out. So, maybe it is a thing of you being like, "When I wake up in the morning, I'm always tired." Well, we need to start going to sleep earlier. Little things like that. But just pay attention to yourself and figure out what are the hidden sabotages in your life. And for the people who are like, "I don't have any," you do. Everyone does because if you didn't have any then you would be going. So there are little things that you're doing that's keeping you back. But the first step is realizing those things so you can stop doing them.
Now of course we have to talk about the body when it comes to physical because it's going to be skin out. It is going to be hot outside. So first we're going to talk about your all-around physical body. Now we want a bright body. We want a body that is glowing. One of the first things I want you to start doing is dry brushing. I will link one below that you guys can look at. But if you are not familiar with a dry brush, it is essentially a dry version of an exfoliator. And you use this before you get into the shower or you get into the bath. Do not do this every single day. I would say do this two to three times a week. This helps with things such as cellulite. This helps with things such as just draining your lymphatic drainage system, which drains the toxins out of your body. Um, this also can help with things such as all around just body glow because it is getting rid of that top layer of just dry skin or just that top layer of dull skin. And I definitely could say I noticed a difference when I started to dry brush. Now, we definitely want you to exfoliate, but do not exfoliate and dry brush on the same days because that is like two times exfoliating and that can cause irritation, that can cause dry skin, redness, things of that sort. But of course, we want you to start exfoliating. Do this two times a week as well. Um, I know some people are probably going to be like, "What kind of exfoliator exfoliator, sorry, do I use? I use different companies. I'm not going to lie to you. I feel like a lot of them do the same thing." But it probably also is because I do dry brush as well. So, for me, it's kind of like a two kind of exfoliation thing that I do um a weekly. So, for me, most exfoliators do work well. Um, now going off of that, the first layer I do use in the shower is a bar soap, but off of that, you should use some kind of serum that is targeted at what you are going through. It's some kind of body wash serum. Now, a lot of people are going through hyperpigmentation. You are going through discoloration. I recommend to use the silic acid, I believe that's how you say it, by the company Natrium. That definitely helps with evening out your skin tone. So, make sure the second step in your routine is something that is targeting, please do not only use that for every area of your body. You should not. Now, if you are going to, you know, have things such as back acne or you just want to focus on things that are a little bit more targeted, I definitely recommend the panzo. They have a spray version, but in the shower, I honestly just use the bottle version that looks like the Well, it is also for your face, but that is definitely great for body acne.
Now, different things that also do help target it when you get out of the shower. Um, I like the company Fade. So, if you're familiar with them, I mean, no, the company topicals, they have a serum called Fade. They have a spray version of that as well. So, that definitely helps. I don't feel like you have to use too too many things. And I don't think you should use too too many things. The pinoxil really helps with like the body acne. Um, as far as making sure the acne goes down and the fade usually helps with the discoloration of it because even though the acne is gone, sometimes you can still have acne scars and you can still have discoloration there. Now, of course, we have to get into the moisturizers and the body butters. For moisturizers, I do try to use something that is nonfragrance because the body butters usually have a little bit of a fragrance to them and too many fragrances can clog your pores and it could just be a bit excessive. I know everybody wants to smell good, but as long as you wash yourself properly and use a pretty decent smell, like it's it's not that serious. So, I try to use a fragrance-free version of a moisturizer and then just a body butter that is a scent that you really like. I know the Fenty body butter is really good. Um, but a lot of times too, stuff like that is based upon the kind of scent that you like because those are two different kinds of kind of moisturizers. So, I don't really think it's a thing of like, oh, the body butter not being moisturizing enough because you're using two different versions of it because you're using a moisturizer and then you're also using the body butter.
Now, of course, we have to talk about the face. Um, for a facial cleanser, I do like Dermalogica, but they are a bit expensive. So, I also recommend the La Roche-Posay. Um, I use the light blue bottle. I'll link it below if I can. And then, of course, we want to focus on things that are targeting things that we are going through. So, a lot of people, like I said, are dealing with hyperpigmentation, discoloration. Vitamin C is great. I like the vitamin C. I'll link the ones that I use below because I forgot the name of the company, but I also like the one by Dermalogica. But, there is one company that's a little bit more pricey. Um, but theirs work great as well. Another thing too, of course, sunscreen. A lot of women use the Black Girl Sunscreen. For me, it just kind of caused acne and I already have oily skin and it may be even more oily. Didn't work for me. I like the Neutrogena one. I'll link the one that I use below. And then, of course, focusing on things that deal with problem areas that you have. So, for my face, I also use the Fade by Topicals. I was using it with the discoloration serum by Good Molecules, but then I ran out and I just felt like the Topicals was doing good enough, but to each its own, but really just figure out what kind of serum do you need to use for what you are going through. I also like niacinamide by Good Molecules, sorry, you can't say that--um, that definitely helps with very textured skin, but just figure out what are specific things that you are going through and then what are things that help with that. The problem that I think some people have is there's some girl online that would tell you that she's using this product and that product and that product, and then you go out and buy it, but you don't realize she doesn't have the same problems as you, and so now you're using something for hyperpigmentation, but you are really dealing with texture like skin and it's like your skin is even tone but you just have texture problems. So, nonetheless, figure out those things.
The next one we are going to talk about how to change mentally. So, one of the biggest things that you probably came to this video for was change. You are trying to change and become a literally a different person. So, that is what we are going to do. I want you to start doing the opposite of what the old version of you would traditionally do. So, I want you to think about when you are dressing. I want you to think about when people ask you, "Hey, are you going to come out with us? What are you choosing to say?" Don't get me wrong, if you're the person that always says yes, I'm not telling you to say no every single time. But if you're the person that's always going out with people, maybe you're like, "Okay, maybe this time I should go out by myself. Maybe this time I should go out with a movie date or movie date by yourself." Sorry. Or maybe you're kind of like, "I'm the person that's always saying, 'No, I don't want to go outside. No, I'm going to stay in the house.'" Okay. Well, start saying you're going outside more. The whole idea behind this is because by the time summer comes, we want you to be a new person, but you become a new person through trial and error. And especially when it comes to things such as fashion. I know some people are going to be like, "But I don't have the money to buy a whole new closet." I'm not telling you to buy a whole new closet. I'm just telling you to wear things together that you normally wouldn't wear together. You have clothes inside of your closet, but just try not to wear them the way that you normally wear them. I know this might not sound like that big of a deal and it's like this sounds kind of dumb, but the whole idea behind it is for you to mentally change. We need to get you to change in all areas. We need you to change mentally as far as what you are thinking. But then we also need you to change when it comes to what you are physically doing. So I want you to ask yourself every time you are doing something, what would you do and then do the opposite? You are always going on break to talk to your co-workers and always doing this. Try not to do that this time. Maybe you are going to spend this lunch alone. And the whole idea behind it is not saying that this is going to become your new life and this is the new person that you're going to be. No, there are certain things that you are going to enjoy and you're going to keep doing and there's certain things you're like, "I really don't enjoy that," but that's the whole point about it to find yourself to find what actually sticks. So the first part is mentally ask yourself with almost everything that you do for this time period: What will the old you do and the new you is going to do different or the new you is literally going to do the opposite.
The next one is: What is the benefit of the story that you tell yourself? I want you to understand first and foremost everything you do has some kind of benefit, whether it is financially, whether it is emotionally, whether it is physically. You do not do anything, even the things that you don't want to do, going to work in the morning, you do that to pay your bills; there's a benefit to every single thing, going to school when you're tired studying, you want to pass, you want to get a good job, you want to graduate; there's a benefit to doing everything. I want you to understand the lifestyle that you have now, the life that you have now, you have chosen that, and I know some people are going to be like, "Why would I choose struggle? Why would I choose this toxic environment? Why would I choose stress?" It is all based upon your perception of who you think that you are based upon your prior experiences. Now, I do not want to confuse the two and make you think that you have chosen everything that has happened to you. No, you have not chosen those things, but you have chosen the meaning of those things and what they say about you and your life and your perception. An example of this is there was this girl and there was a story about her. She had an abusive household growing up. Her mother was abused. She was abused. She watched an Oprah special of women being abused. And previous to watching this special, the girl was what people would consider to be an average student. She had friends. She got good grades in school. Things of a sort. After watching that special, her grades tanked. After watching that special, she became somewhat depressed. She was always sad. Why? What changed besides watching something? Her perception of her past changed. The meaning of her life changed. Who she was changed. She never saw herself as being a victim. She never saw something being wrong with her because this was the only life that she knew. She didn't know there were other people that didn't have to be abused. She didn't know that this was wrong. She thought this as being something normal, the men in her life treating her this way. And when she saw women on Oprah special talking about how their husbands abused them, how it made them feel and how it was wrong and how their the men in their lives abused them, she said, "Wait, I'm not supposed to go through this way. There must be something wrong with me." What changed? She chose a different life. Her interpretation of what happened to her in the past changed. And I want to use this example because first and foremost, she did not choose to go through what she went through, but she chose her perception of it. And I'm not saying to make things lollygaggy and to make things act like they didn't happen. But I want you to understand just as well as she was able to have good grades and be a good student and then it changed because her story changed, it is because whether she realized it or not, she chose a different story. She chose to look at it as, "I'm unworthy." And I know that might sound insensitive, but I wanted to bring up this particular topic because that is how deep it can get. That is how and I want you to understand that is how unfortunate it can get as well. You have to understand if you want to change your life this summer, you have to first and foremost ask yourself what is the benefit of the story that you have given yourself. She felt like the benefit of the story that she had given herself was, "Well, now it must be something wrong with me. There's something wrong with me. I'm getting bad grades. There's something wrong with me. I'm always sad because A happened to me. B must be the reason why I can't get the life that I want because I went through this as a child. This is why I can't get the life that I want." There's so many adults that have that. "Well, my mom didn't teach me about credit, so I don't know how I'm supposed to build credit. Or my mom didn't teach me how to do this, so that how am I supposed to do this? Well, I didn't grow up in an environment where people were doing this and doing that. How am I supposed to know?" That's your interpretation of it, but it's not fact. Because there are people who experience things that you experience and they have a completely different life as you. There are people who went through what you went through, went to the same schools, lives in the same kind of household, and they have a completely different life as you. I want you to understand you chose the life that you have now. And I know that might be hard to hear and I know that that might not be what you want to hear, but I even had to realize that about myself, too. And it's based upon my perception. We give meaning to everything. I didn't post on social media my face for years. You guys know why? Because I have a big forehead. I'm going to be honest with you. I have a big forehead, as you guys can see. And I told myself my perception of a big forehead. The meaning behind it was, "I'm ugly." I felt ugly for so long that I didn't post on social media, that I didn't show my face, that I was doing a career, that I didn't so many other things because my interpretation of a big forehead was ugly. A lot of things are just observations. Yes, those things happened to you. Yes, those things weren't pleasant. But until you understand that you are choosing the life that you have now, until you understand what is the benefit of saying that, cuz you know the benefit of me saying that I have a big forehead and I'm ugly, I didn't have to post on social media. I didn't have to take pictures. I didn't have to put myself out there. And then what did I tell myself? "Oh, I'm ugly. Oh, well, nobody likes me. Oh, well, nobody's going to want to view my videos because I'm not pretty." How is no one going to want to view a video that I didn't even create? We have to understand that was the benefit of it. I kept telling myself, "I don't have the life that I want because of A. I don't have B because of A." You have to understand, a lot of times,
You're going to watch videos about self-improvement. You're going to figure out how to change your life. And you're going to convince yourself, "I don't have B. I don't have the life I want. I don't have the body I want because of A, because of my interpretation of the past." But you have to understand, you are choosing that interpretation. So, that means you can choose a different one.
And I want to wrap this up because I feel like I'm making this category a little long-winded, but I just want you to ask yourself and be honest with yourself: What is the benefit of the story that you are telling yourself? There's a story that you're telling yourself about yourself: "I can't get A because of B." Figure out what that is. Figure out what the benefit of that thing is. Sometimes that thing keeps you from going outside. It keeps you from posting. It keeps you from working out. "I can't go out because I don't have a good body." You're embarrassed to go to the gym because you don't want people to see you sweat. You don't want people to see you looking crazy. But you need to understand you're never going to get the body you want unless that thing happens. Let me not go too deep on this, but I want you to understand you have to ask yourself what story are you choosing? There's a story that is holding you back. If you have not got to where you want to in life, it is because you are choosing a story that is preventing you from getting there. And until you are honest with yourself about that story, you are never going to be able to achieve the life that you want.
Now the final category we are going to talk about: lifestyle-specific things we are going to do to change our lifestyle. The first one I want you to understand: one of the biggest things that holds us back is procrastination. It is wasting time. We waste so much time doing everyday mundane things. It's not even like, "Oh, it's this big elaborate thing I'm trying to do." No, you waste so much time in the morning, when you get home from work, when you get home from school. If you stop wasting a lot of that time, you will have time to do the things that you want to do that you say you don't have time for, like starting that business, and going to the gym.
So, I want you to start timing the most basic things that you do in life, the most basic processes in life. I'm talking about the waking up in the morning, your morning routine. I'm talking about the night routine you may have. I'm talking about the cooking dinner. Start timing those things because we need to start getting specific on how much time it takes you to complete a task. It is so easy for you to be on your phone for long periods of time, not even noticing; watching TV for long periods of time, distracting yourself and not noticing. Wait, you know your morning routine should not take you an hour. Wait, you know getting in between time of leaving work and getting home from work and starting to do whatever you're about to do should not take you 45 minutes. But it's because we do not know how much time a specific task takes us. So it's easy for us to waste time. So the first thing I want you to start doing is literally writing down how much time it takes you to complete tasks that you do every single day. So you can start cutting down the amount of time that you are wasting because now you actually know how much time you are wasting.
The next one is positive defiance. So we are going to use this to change your lifestyle as far as the things that you do. Positive defiance is essentially the phenomenon where a group of individuals are a part of a larger group, but they do unique things to get unique results. And I know that might sound a little like, "What does that mean?" Basically what this really means is there's a group of individuals that are going against the grain, but they still are doing exceptional. And I think this is very imperative to understand because a lot of times too we follow the trends. What are the masses doing? What is everyone doing? And a lot of times too, that's what makes us feel like we aren't good enough because this content creator has a million followers and she's posting with beautiful makeup and she's doing the "get ready with me" and she has a beautiful background and I don't have all these things. But I want you to understand a lot of times too these things start as trends, right? Before a trend gets big, it is small. That is the positive defiance: those little things that people are doing uniquely, that are different, that other people have not picked up on, but they are achieving the results that you want out of life, and it doesn't have to always be with content. I know I use that example, but this could be with starting a business; this could be with losing weight. The problem that people need to understand is you are always looking to the masses; you are always looking to what is everyone else doing, and if you can't do what everyone else is doing for a multitude of reasons, you convince yourself that you can't achieve that thing; that is always not the case.
A popular example of this is: there was an individual that was a part of—I forgot the name of the organization, sorry—but there was an organization that would feed groups and feed people in third-world countries, and this was a couple decades ago. Vietnam was having a problem with malnourished children. Malnourished children a lot of times become malnourished adults, and a lot of times they pass away. And so they were like, "We need to fix this problem." So they contacted the person of that organization; they had the person come—why would a person came. Vietnam was kind of like, "Well, we don't got no money." The government was like, "We don't have no money." And the person was like, "What? I was supposed to come here and feed the people. You're supposed to give me money. I'm supposed to have my people come here and help them." And they were like, "Yeah, but we don't have any money, but please, please, please, please, can you please help us?" And so, a person said, "Okay, uh, well, I, you know, I see I can do what I do." So, he came with a group of people. I don't want you to think he's by himself. He went to a lot of these villages and he started speaking to the people whose kids were not malnourished. Mind you, let's say 70-80% of them were malnourished. There was a very—honestly not even 95% were malnourished—but there's a very, very, very few that were not malnourished. He wanted to speak to those people. See the problem is most people would have spoken to the 95% of individuals because it's like, "Well, these are the most people, and this is the big the big problem that we need to focus on." He spoke to the 5% and understood, "What are you guys doing that these other people aren't doing that your children aren't malnourished?" And it was little things that they were doing. For example, they were feeding their kids little meals throughout the day instead of two big meals like everyone else. They were feeding their kids actively instead of just leaving the food out for their kids. So they were literally putting the food in their kids' mouths. There were certain kinds of food in the country, um, as far as like seafood and like different fishes that they were feeding their kids that other people weren't feeding their kids. Essentially it was positive defiance. They were going against the grain, doing things that other people weren't doing, but they were getting the results that people wanted. And once that organization started getting everyone else to start doing what the small group was doing, the country was able to go down to like 20% malnourishment or something like that.
I say all that to say: figure out the—they call it in business "white space"—the space where people aren't really doing much. The space that's not really tapped into yet. Figure out those small groups of individuals that are getting the results that you want, that are defying the odds, that aren't doing what everyone else is doing. Those are the people you want to look to for lifestyle changes because those are the people that have picked up on which will eventually become trends or the things that other people aren't doing but possibly and probably will be beneficial for you.
I actually used this when it came to growing my channel. I watched an interview of Kai Seng and say how he posted literally every single day, and he's one of the biggest content creators, and I was like, "That's not something a lot of content creators do." He was posting long-form videos. So, I started doing that, and that's how I grew to basically 90,000 followers in a little over a year because I did something that was unique. Most content creators that were big were posting one video a week and they were getting all these views, and a lot of people were wasting time trying to create the perfect video in a week and post every single week at the same time. And I literally outworked my competition. But I did it because I did positive defiance. I found a group or a specific individual that got the results that I wanted, and all I did was duplicate exactly what that individual did. So I went against the grain to get the results that I wanted.
And the final one is to choose one thing to do every single morning before you get on your phone related to a goal that you want to achieve. So maybe this is you doing a 10-minute workout; even if you want to be a content creator, writing down content ideas and not actually going on your phone. Pick one thing to do every single day, and I promise you once the summertime comes, you are going to consistently be doing this thing, and you are going to literally be at your goal. So, thank you guys so much for watching my video. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe and go below to follow my TikTok, sign up for my newsletter, listen to my podcast, follow my Pinterest, and so much more. Thank y'all and have a great.