Transcription
Think of Seduction as a language. That is a language that is mostly non-verbal. And your game is to learn that language, to master it.
This is my second book, The Art of Seduction, which came out in 2001. And I'm happy to say, just recently, we've sold over a million copies of this book. So there you go.
So I want you to think of Seduction in the following way. The people around you, all around you in your daily life, they have these kind of walls that are erected to protect themselves from intruders, protect them from advertisers, to protect them from people who are meddling in their life, to protect them from all the other intrusions that are continually distracting them. People, particularly in the 21st century, are very defensive. They have very thick walls around them. They're not necessarily interested in who you are. They're not interested in your ideas and having a relationship with you, in anything about you. There is naturally resistant to you.
The game in seduction is to lower those walls, to make them thinner and thinner, to find penetrating points so you can enter inside their mind, inside their defenses. And so the ultimate power is when you're not there. When, after an encounter with you, or whatever, they're thinking about you when you're not there. You have entered their mind. You have entered their inner space. And you've occupied, in a positive way hopefully, their their inner worlds. And they're thinking about you even though you're not there. That is the game, The Art of Seduction.
Okay, now think of Seduction as a language. That's what I try and tell people in The Art of Seduction. But it is a language that is mostly non-verbal. And your game is to learn that language, to master it, much as you would master French or whatever other language there is. Okay.
So what is this language? Well, it's a language of gesture. It's a language of body language. It's it's a language of energy that you feel off of another person. So if someone is trying to seduce you, or you're trying to seduce someone, and you're too obvious about it, and it's too clear what you're up to, and you're saying all the right cliched lines that people say in order to seduce, it just makes those walls thicker and thicker and thicker. It's too clear. People become more and more resistant. Right?
But if they don't even know that you're trying to seduce, if it's something that's in your energy, it is in your personality, you don't have to say a word. You have charisma. You are a siren. You are a rake. You are the natural, all the nine types of seducers that I illustrate in there. Then you don't even have to try. It's something that emanates from your personality and it attracts people to you without you ever saying a word.
So part of that language is your own energy, your own kind of confidence and inner security that emanates out of you. And that draws people to you. And that is incredibly seductive. It is a language of gestures. So when you go on on a date or you take someone somewhere, it's not what you say and all and everything that you do. It's the place that you take them to. It's not something that they expect. It's a surprise. It's a place that they've never been to before. That's different. That's not predictable. That is a that is part of the seductive language.
When you give them a gift, it's not a gift that's obvious that is, you know, flowers or something like that, or something that costs a lot of money. It's a gift that shows that you're thinking about them, that you understand their spirit. So for instance, I tell people, listen carefully to the other person. They're going to say things about what they love, about their likes, their dislikes. And so they're going to reveal some of their personality. You want to get them to talk a lot and you don't hardly say anything. And in the course of revealing something that they love, a light bulb goes on your head. And you go, hmm, that's I can give them a gift after a couple of weeks of seeing them that reflects this particular thing they mentioned once. That reveals to them that I was listening, that I understood, that I absorbed their idea, their spirit. Wow, this person was actually hearing me. How thoughtful. Right? It's a gesture. You don't have to say anything.
Okay, on and on and on. You're learning these languages. You are learning what excites people, what triggers their level of fascination, what would repel them and repulse them. So you want to create a degree of mystery. You want to send mixed signals. They don't know exactly who you are. There's an element of, I don't really know this person. You know, what they do tomorrow. I I can't really predict. Wow, how exciting.
So in the course of that, you're thinking about them. It's a language of absence and presence. If you're too much in people's face, if you're texting them every day, if you're emailing them and calling them all the time, there's no sense of mystery. They can't, you're not giving them any space. But if you allow two days or three days to go by where you don't call them, all right, you might think it's a little bit cruel, but no, that's part of Seduction. It's part of the mating game. Don't worry about cruelty. Cruelty is part of Seduction, actually. You have to be a little bit cruel.
Okay. Um, so you wait a few days. And that's basically, hmm, maybe he or she doesn't like me that much. Maybe there's something I said that was wrong. And they start thinking about you. And they start trying to think about what they can do to please you. You've got them. Then you've seduced them. The moment they're starting to think about you, that's half the game. And if you're constantly in their face, you can't, you can't allow that to happen.
But if you're too apps, and if two weeks go by and you're never there, you're just gonna make them angry. You're just gonna make them forget you. You're gonna think that you're not trustworthy. You have to know the delicate balance between absence and presence. When to be there and when to disappear for a day or two, right? Not to answer their texts right away. Give them a little space to fantasize about you, to think what you might be doing in your absence.
On and on and on. On a language of gesture, of behavior, of things that you do, of places that you take them to, about your energy, about when you're there and when you're not there, how the level of mystery that you can. If you can master that language and get people to think about you and be fascinated with you, nothing else matters. You don't have to be the handsomest and most beautiful woman in the world. You will seduce them because seduction is a game of psychology. It's a game of entering into their spirit, entering into their mind space, and making them think about you. You master that game and you'll be able to seduce almost anyone. So that is basically The Art of Seduction as I've laid out in my book.