Transcription
Hello everybody. Welcome back to my main channel. Today we're going to be talking about how to make someone fall in love with you.
This is exactly what I've been waiting for. This is exactly I don't mean to sound like Cat Williams, but this is exactly what I've been waiting for.
If you're new to my channel, my name is Simone. I have a background in psychology and I combine everything I know with spirituality and also science. And if you're also new to my channel, every week I do a competition where I give away 10 digital copies of my revolutionary journal that has changed thousands and thousands of lives, the life formula. You can get it right here. And if you want to enter the draw to win, all you need to do is leave a comment and every video I will announce the winners.
Tell me what you want to do. I got racks to the ATM. Tell me what you want to do. How do we make someone obsessed with you? I have made a dark psychology video on this before, so I suggest you go and watch that, but that is for dark psychology. This video is a little bit more wholesome and it's more about love.
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But before we get started, I want to say you can fall in love with anyone if you have proximity and you have time. That's why it is so critical for us to pick the right partner and not stick around. I'm sure this has happened to you. We don't really know if we like someone. We stick around. Time goes by. We're like, you know what? I'm going to break up with them one day. I'm going to find the perfect moment to break up with them. Before you know it, you're attached and you might even love them because we fall in love through time and also emotional intimacy as women. So girls, if you're in the wrong relationship and you're delaying, delaying, delaying, you need to break up because you're only strengthening your emotional bond to him and putting yourself at risk of loving him.
Falling in love and love is very different. Falling in love is like what you see in the movies. It's like, "Oh, I'm so head over heels. I'm so deeply in love with you." And then love, it's not just infatuation. It's like the deep emotional bond. So, I just wanted to preface that. Break up. If he's not for you, break up. And in regards to obsession, obsession is not love. Obsession is infatuation. Real love is rooted in trust, understanding, commitment. Obsession is just emotional magnetism. If you are someone who has an anxious attachment style, go watch my attachment style video, you are also more likely to become obsessed with someone, even if they do nothing at all. If you want to prevent yourself from being obsessed with someone and therefore pushing them away when they're meant to chase you, you need to master your own emotions. And you need to heal your attachment style. That's why avoidance, they usually get people obsessed with them because avoidance are so detached. They're so in their own energetic field. So the anxious is chasing them, wants to be with them. Is that a good thing? Not really. We want to aim for a secure attachment style. If we have a secure attachment style, we will pick other people who are secure, reciprocate healthy love to us, and have a healthy relationship.
Part one to getting someone to fall in love with you, to be obsessed with you. You need to be in your own energetic vortex, which means, watch my detachment video as well, which means you need to pull your energy into yourself. What does that look like? It means stop obsessing over other people. Stop giving your attention to things that aren't going to benefit you. If you're scrolling all day, you're talking to Ben, Ben just takes away energy from you. You're waiting for his message all day. You're not really pouring love into yourself. You're in their vortex.
[Applause]
I just loved him so [ __ ] much. Your life is circling around them. Your life might even be circling around your phone. Some of us need to decenter our phones. If you're putting all your energy onto something else, especially a person, there is no room for them to chase you. Especially a man, a man needs to chase you. If you are obsessing over yourself, pouring love and energy into your own life, you create distance. And in that distance is mystery, is scarcity. Scarcity builds affection. Actually, this is rooted in science. If you can create a little bit of space, it will make you more magnetic. And when you are focusing on also becoming healthy yourself, healthy meaning emotionally healthy, you will have more heart and brain coherence which will broaden your electromagnetic field and also help you attract the right partners to you. Because don't forget, we attract what we are. I said this in a previous video. This is a little bit spiritual. It's cabala. Think about this. Your soulmate is 1,000 watts. Okay? 1,00 watts. You are 100 watt. If God or the universe gave you your soulmate right now, you going to connect? No. In fact, you can't even hold your soulmate. Their wattage is too high that you might explode. You might self-sabotage. You won't know what to do. And this 1,00 W is not even going to be attracted to the 100 W. It sees you and it's like, well, we're clearly a mismatch. So, you need to pour that energy into yourself. Be obsessed with yourself. Be obsessed with improving your life. And if you're struggling to focus on yourself or you need help, it's really worth investing in therapy. Even if you just do it for a month or two months, cuz I usually do it for only a couple of months at a time when I need it. It can really help you. Like it's a small investment that will make such a big difference in your life. Especially if you have a bad attachment style, you need to get external help to help you navigate this. So you know why the way you are and you have techniques and tools to help manage your emotions.
So thank you to the paid partner of today's video, BetterHelp, for partnering with me. BetterHelp is on a mission to making therapy more accessible and affordable. A BetterHelp therapist is going to listen to you, ask questions, and help you see things through a new perspective. They'll also give you advice and techniques, which is going to help manage whatever you're going through, just help regulate your emotions. It can be really nice to have someone there to talk with whenever you need. All you need to do is fill out a questionnaire and usually within a couple of days, BetterHelp will have paired you with a therapist for you. Now, if you don't like your therapist, because therapy is like dating, as I say, you have to be really, really lucky to get a great therapist that you love on your first try. You might not bond. I didn't bond with my first four fourish therapists. So, if you don't like your therapist, you can change free of charge. You can even scroll through and read their profiles and find someone that you resonate with, which is amazing because say you're like doing therapy in your hometown. There's only so many therapists available with whatever specialty or skill set they have and you have to go to your doctor, get a new referral. It's expensive. You have to drive there. It's time consuming. BetterHelp you can like do it the next day and it's free to change. So with over 7,000 reviews and a 4.3 star rating on Trustpilot, BetterHelp is a platform that you can trust. So go to my link right here, betterhelp.com/simonesquared to get 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp.
True. The science of obsession and love. Dopamine equals emotional addiction. When we're in love, it's actually similar to being addicted to a drug. So when that drug is not around, when we're not getting the source of validation, that source of love or pleasure from them, we obsess because we need it.
>> Marry me right now. What now or I'm dying? I say, marry me right now. Call me and say me, I love you. Marry me right now or I'm dying.
The brain associates love like a reward. So this is a little sneaky tip. If they experience a lot of emotional highs with you, they are going to crave you. If you take someone on a date where they can have an adrenaline rush, they are more likely to confuse that with them liking you because of the emotional high they just experienced with you. It's misattribution.
Oxytocin is our bonding hormone. It's triggered through eye contact, deep conversations, physical touch, and vulnerability. So, if you want someone to fall in love with you, especially a man, a lot of men tend to bond through physical touch more, especially because they are so deprived of affection. So, if you can do, you know, a little bit of physical touch, a little playful pant, just like Grace's arm or something, just like a little bit of physical touch here and there, not like sleeping with them, but it will build attachment and trust and it signals to the brain, I feel safe with you.
>> I know we don't feel safe with them though through physical touch.
Early stage lovers show serotonin levels similar to OCD, which is obsessive-compulsive disorder. That's why love can feel very obsessive. And if you're constantly on their mind, you can reinforce this emotional loop. So, how can we constantly be on their mind? You should try to create associations when you're together. Create as many memories as possible and also embed yourself in their happy memories. So, if you're creating these shared emotional highs, you're going to amusement parks, you're traveling, you're dancing, anything that's stimulating dopamine, serotonin, you're also bonding, you're having eye contact, you're going to be on their mind more. Actually, when I'm on a date, if I don't like the guy, I don't make eye contact with him because every time I make that prolonged eye contact, I can feel the bonding. I can feel it. It's like instantly something changes. So, I I don't make eye contact. I'm like,
>> "Get me out of here."
And you also need to make them feel safe with people are more likely to attach, fall in love if you're opening up. That's why, do you know the 36 questions? People who do this, they tend to fall in love because you're revealing like the deepest, darkest parts of yourself. And often you can bypass a lot of the time it takes to get to that level of intimacy. If they open up to you, you reciprocate well, you make them feel safe, you make them feel seen, more likely to fall in love. Especially women, we fall in love through safety, through being seen, through being protected. Men also, they they're not understood. Men are socialized to be unemotional. That's why you see memes and it's like when he opens up about his past and then he's like, "Wow, I'm in love with you now." Yeah. It's because no one has shown him affection. You can also figure out their insecurities or when they tell you their insecurities. You don't affirm them. In fact, you affirm the opposite. If he's like, "Oh, I feel like I'm so ugly and I'm so useless and weak." and you're like, "No, no, no, no. I I see you as you're so strong, you're so smart, you're so intelligent." You're also creating this emotional anchor where they're going to depend on you for this validation. Now, that's a little bit of dark psychology, but guess what, guys? It's not dark if you actually believe it. Because girls, if we're in love, you can see a loser and you're like, "Oh my god, baby, you're going to be a billionaire." That gamer right there that has no life skills, no brain. Baby, you're going to be a billionaire. I love you.
Feminine polarity is extremely magnetic because we're socialized to be perfect, to not reveal our flaws, to do what men want. Maybe we don't show the other sides of ourselves. We don't show the flaws. It can actually be very magnetic to have such a strong contrast between appearing perfect and then showing your flaws. That's where being authentically you comes in. Be you. I promise it will be more authentic, magnetic, and people will feel that the feminine has duality, softness, wildness. We can't be contained. We're warm. We're mysterious. And that's not playing games. It's not hot and cold. It's actually genuinely who the feminine is. The feminine is an energy. By the way, if you're just trying to be one thing or you're trying to be a certain way to get them to like you, you're caging yourself in and you're not allowing yourself to express your authentic nature. And your authentic nature is always going to be what is most magnetic. Being unpredictable, showing all your sides. Showing the sides that you might be embarrassed about will make you magnetic. And guess what? That's when people fall in love when they see those little quirks. And if someone doesn't like that about you, they're not for you. I have to reiterate this right now. You can't try to make someone like you if they're just innately not going to like you. Cuz number one, ladies and maybe men out there, that is not what you deserve. You deserve someone who likes you for you. Two, little quirks that you're embarrassed about, someone will find them incredibly endearing. Confident. Be confident. And if you're focused on yourself, you probably will be confident. If you uh people who are insecure, they're focused on everything but themselves. So, people like to be around those who are confident because it rubs off on them. And self-confidence actually signals higher mate value.
Create space for fantasy. This goes back to obsessing over yourself, creating a little bit of space. If someone's constantly chasing, there's no room to be chased. There's no room for mystery as well. This was a really bad fault of mine in my past relationships. I never really liked the guy. And then when he was away from me, that's when I would be fantasizing, "Oh my god, I love them. I love them so much." Why? Because in the gap, I created a version of them that didn't exist. And then when they would pop back up, that fantasy flopped. When you're unavailable, and these guys were always unavailable in my past. When you're unavailable, people start to project an image onto you. They leave room for fantasy. It leaves room for yearn. Especially if you are an anxious person that your attachment style, you're going to be yearning in those gaps. And if you you know they're anxious, they're going to be yearning. Also, you need to know their attachment style. If they're avoidant, they want space. They don't want you to be chasing them all the time because they're going to feel closed in. They're going to feel like they're suffocating. So, if you can really understand them and understand their attachment style, more likely to fall in love as well. Oh my god, no one's ever understood me like this before.
Scarcity increases perceived value. People want things that other people can't have. People want things that are rare, that are not readily available.
Part four, these are some strategic psychological techniques. Mirroring someone makes them feel safe with you. It's called the chameleon effect and it builds unconscious trust and safety with another person. Next, create emotional highs. We talked about this due 36 questions. Create emotional intimacy. Have depth. The tough conversations with one another. Eye contact, light touch. I'm just reiterating these points. And also, don't give in too fast, ladies. This is especially for you. Go watch these videos, please. Men really are wired differently.
Little bonus, these are dark psychology tricks someone might do to you to get you addicted. Toxic men always do this, and I'm going to make another video this on my second channel. Number one, if they are hot and cold, they have you on an intermittent reinforcement schedule. One minute they're showering you with love, they're messaging you constantly, they're replying fast, and then they're gone. And then they come back and they and you're like, "What the [ __ ] is going on? Do you like me or not?" If you're asking, "Do you like me or not?" They don't like you. They're playing games. They want validation. They want an ego stroke. Someone is excessively complimenting you and then they pull back the compliments. Well, they switch up. They have put you on that hot and cold cycle and they're trying to get you addicted to them. People know what they're doing to you. Especially guys. Guys, they are not stupid. They know what they're doing. [ __ ] boys have played these games before. I played these games before.
>> Play these games before.
They know what they're doing. Ladies, you need to watch my videos and get yourself equipped. Get yourself equipped to deal with this man. See you next time on my main channel, guys. I'm pretty sure there's a second channel video out already right now. And it's how to know if he's playing you and if he's serious. I don't know what the rest of the title is yet. But anyways, I love you guys. I'll see you in my next video. Don't forget merch available now. slaysocciety.com iconic t-shirts and the mindformulas.com for my revolutionary journal. I love you guys. Bye.