Transcription
Now, in the hood, roasting is a very integral skill to have. And if you ever find yourself in a roast battle without the ability to roast, then you got yourself in a tough spot. So, because I love y'all, I'm going to teach you the very, very ancient art of roasting. So, without that being said, if you find yourself in a roast battle and don't know how to roast, don't worry, I got you. Here's how to roast in the hood.
"Hey Josiah, you ugly as hell!"
Now, the absolute number one rule of roasting is to always be prepared. A roast battle can literally kick off at any second in time, and honestly, you don't even need to be a willing participant. Somebody can honestly just take a look at you, notice you look funny, and start going off. So, because of that, you always had to be ready to fire back.
"Real talk, I look like Travis Kelce without the [Applause] money."
"No, monster, Zek looking ass!"
"No, KP looking ass!"
Now, this is a very, very, very classic technique. Roasted, at its core, is a very, very simple sport. If you make a simple but funny comparison, you're going to get the upper hand nine times out of 10. And you see how he was ready with the phone? Pull it out and show him how he look like that monster from *Monsters, Inc.* And he did that because their lips are similar. Of course, it's exaggerated, but the more exaggerated, the funnier. And he also hit the comparing them to a celebrity or public figure technique. And the funny thing about this is, a public figure doesn't even have to be ugly for this to be funny. As long as they look alike.
"I'm, I'm, I'm no, no, it's big as hell."
"No, what the hell with the lips?"
"You ain't got it!"
Now, this is why I say roasting is an art and not a science. You never know when a roast is going to hit, and you really have to examine the person you're roasting. 'Cause right there, he hit him with the "he doesn't have lips" because his lips are ashy. He could have just said his lips are ashy, but nah, that wouldn't have hit as hard. He kind of made his audience think a little bit, like, "Oh, why did he say lips?" Oh, 'cause his lips are ashy.
"Shoes dirty as hell!"
Now, this is what we call the simple observation. This is pretty much when you're letting the person you're roasting roast themselves because you're not even really telling a joke, you're just stating the obvious. And this joke is usually going to hit because it's true.
"That is dirty!"
"You ugly sh*t!"
"You look like you was happy as hell with a teacher assigning homework."
"Boy, Mario, boy, up your game like it's sh*t!"
"Boy, not for this roast, you really got to get in your bag a little bit. You have to scan your opponent, figure out something about them, like a trait about their appearance, their nose, their body, their weight, whether they're fat, whether they're skinny, and come up with a comparison based on that trait. And I'm not going to lie, people usually go for the weight first because that's the easiest target. And little Mike is skinny, so let's see what he compares him to."
"Cuz, I know you not laughing!"
Now, this is known all too well to roasters around the world, and I'm telling you, this happens in 100% of roast battles. If you laugh too hard at the person getting roasted, you will get roasted. So you better be ready. Like, I'm telling you, dude could be cooking, cuz, and he look at you laugh, and he like, "Damn, he a little ugly too. Let me get on his ass."
"Dark as hell!"
"[Applause]"
"Boy, crying!"
Yeah, you see how everybody joined in? Yeah, let that be a lesson to you. Never laugh too hard if you do not intend on roasting.
"You homeless!"
"And boy, you ugly sh*t!"
Damn, you made it to the end again. I want to try something. Y'all be giving me really, really good video ideas. So, if there's a video you've always wanted me to make, just comment it down below, and I'll see if it's in my power to do so. So, with all that being said, the code word today is "roast." So, if you made it to the end of the video and want to confuse everybody else, comment "roast." Don't forget to follow me on IG. O-dog out.
"Two go, monster, Inc. looking ass!"
"Look at two go!"
"Are you ready?"
"Yeah, bro."
"Three, two, bro."
"Michael, why you leaving?"