Transcription
Yeah. But I honestly didn't think you would want to, right? Cuz I wasn't doing comedy skits, right? You weren't doing anything like that. And then we were in line at, at, uh, the boxing match and I was like, "Buy me some hot dogs. I'm going to swallow it and I want you to eat." You ripped that in line. Yeah. Because I was like, "There's big hot dogs here." And the question that everyone wants to know is if the black guy next to you was in on it. No, we actually didn't know him and he was a boxer, I guess. And then he was just rad. He like reacted to, you know, he was supposed to fight Jake Paul at Madison Square Garden. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. I was supposed to fight under him in a boxing match. You know, I was on a boxing match. Didn't you do a celebrity boxing match? He just said that. I, I, I, um, his little feet. Yeah, I did. And I got knocked out. It was awesome. Who knocked you out? Play it. Some like British YouTuber named like Jay Swingler. How hard did you train? I trained hard. Did you? Yeah. What happened? I don't know. I got, I just like forgot everything. Get those gloves up, Charlie. You know what they say in boxing? Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the face. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then I was just like, I was like, "Yeah." And like not covering my face is. How was your cardio? It was good. I was, I was pretty healthy. Oh. So it was literally it was just like me being like, forgetting everything. I wasn't blocking. The gloves were smaller than. Let me ask you this. Big stadium, right? Wasn't they're booing me. I was in England. But it was one of those big ones. It was in Sheffield, like England. Big stadium. Yeah. Walking out. Was that the most nervous you ever been in your life? I [ __ ] nervous. Holy [ __ ] Just like walking out. Everyone's first fight. Yeah. He's just 30,000 people. He's in the ring like just standing there waiting to kill me. So scary. You know, Kane boxed Blueface. Oh, yeah. Kane and got his ass kicked. Really? Well, that's a weird matchup. Yeah. Yeah. I forget Kane did it. Well, Kane, my my boy, you know, he's my brother. Kane at one point was, I think, top five most followed TikTokers in the world. Then he fell in love with his 53-year-old girlfriend. Quit for eight months. 53. She was 53. He was 20. Oh. And then he quit for eight months. And then now he's kind of been plateaued that. But he was going, he had like three million his first two weeks. He's funny. Yeah. How did I actually enjoy our little foresome? Yeah. If we, if we had to have a fourth, I think we can all agree it's Liam. What do people do like when they just get into a relationship and like fall off the face of the earth? Like what are they doing? I was wondering that. Yeah. And he says, "Bro, we're connected on a spiritual level and you don't understand. While we're in bed together, we're one and it's not just making love. It's being in love and feeling her love. You wouldn't understand it." That's what he says to me. I'm not making that up. But what? You can't just lay in bed all day, right? Well, people in love could. You don't really. You don't seem like a relationships are the central point of your life. You're more about work, enjoying like play and and work and and trying days off, trying to make money. I'd be scared. I'd be like, I'd be like, I got to make money for you. Duh. I can't just like sit in bed all day. Yeah. There's no way. You're just They're just sitting in bed like talking. That's what they do all day. You know, Kane, I took him to Mammoth for a ski trip. Liam's driving. We rented a Turo and then they hang a a jacket and she's in him on top. Not for 2 minutes. 47 minutes. Really? I'm like, "Guys, it was funny. Now it's weird." Yeah. Right. Kane's like, "We hung a jacket. You could, you could laugh." And then they sit in the back. Yeah. You start to smell the sweat. Yeah. Yeah. The pheromones. And he's licking her. I don't know. Kane's a lover boy. I miss him. I miss him. So that's awesome. Hey Liam, tell them what happened on the way to Mammoth. Banging. Yeah, that's funny. At first it's like, oh yeah. Then it's like, okay. And you just hear, and they wouldn't even let us see. They put up like a stupid curtain. See? So you just got the sound effects in the back. Air. I want that kind of love. Serious brother-sister question. Okay. Yeah. And Aaron, if you want to chime in too. Do you like relationship Ryan or single dog Ryan? I mean, it doesn't really affect me either way because you're the same kind of. Okay. So, I like this version of you with this girl. Okay. The first one you were weird. Like it was weird. You were like, "my little muffin top." Like, like you were like, "Oh, I'm not going to look at boobies and all this." Like it was like getting weird. Like she was insecure. She would sit right there with her arms crossed and I'd say, "You look great today, Viking." And then she wouldn't talk to me for two weeks. Yeah. So, her you were like, "This is the worst talk show." Right. So, the the new girl is super rad and you know, we're going to [ __ ] So, it's like super chill. Like, you have ulterior motives. That's what it is. I always have ulterior motives, but honestly, I just, I just like when people like me. Hey, what's the rule with you and your beautiful husband? I say husband, whatever it is. We're not common law. Okay. Have you guys ever had a unicorn? Yeah. Like long term? No. Well, I mean, there was only one girl that we used a lot. Who? Uh, Dakota. Keyword. A lot. Like a lot. A lot. What does that mean? Meaning we, we did a lot of like content with her and like. Did she live with you guys? No, but there was a couple times where we like went to dinner or something and afterwards I was like, "Go get naked," kind of thing. And we didn't, there was one time we didn't film it. Okay. So, what are the rules for Aaron? Cream pies out, right? For her. Well, it's not really fair because I can't have cream pies. Why? Because I, I'm [ __ ] Irish and fertile and I don't want to be on birth control because I don't want to poison my body. I'm like super healthy. Okay. Um, okay. Well, can I tell you something? Me and my current sweet little angel, pumpake muffin. Mhm. Don't do this. We, uh, we enjoy the cream pie. I do too. As one does, but the Plan B's are a lot. Taking Plan B's a lot. No. See, that's poison. Two in a month. And it's messing with her head and it's getting between us. So, I'm asking you guys suggestions and advice. What's a good place to come to keep that beautiful intimate moment? Pull it out of her [ __ ] and stick it in her ass for the last few seconds. Stick how much of the dick in the ass? Well, as much as you need to get off. How about you, Chur? You're nutty. You're nutty once a week. Yeah. Yeah. So, I feel like, and tell me if you think I'm wrong or not, when you're having sex with a girl, I feel like you don't even think or care to make her. You better get yours before I get mine cuz I'm throwing peace signs. Is that I think your motto. Are you projecting? Respectfully, you're projecting. No, I make sure because I'm, I'm scared about my review. I feel like he would be upset about letting her down. Like, he would look bad. I would cry or something. So, what do you do to get a girl off the shirt? Um, I don't just punch the clip. You don't know how to get, make her go come. I don't. You do the little squirt maneuver. I don't know. What's that? You like [ __ ] Yeah. Come hither. Mhm. And then the rest is history. I'll tell you a trick we've been using which we really like. We got a Hitachi. Mhm. And I, I finger her and I bite her her thigh and then I press on her stomach while she puts the Hitachi on. Those things are too strong. What is seven orgasms in 30 minutes that way? It's a Hitachi. It's like a vibrator. Habachi. Hitachi. You know it's Hitachi. What's the stuff of Benihana? Habachi. Okay. So that guy comes over. We literally put some onions on her. His flight's a volcano. Whoa. Becky, let me ask you a question. What's your favorite thing about my physical appearance? I like your mustache. Thank you. Yeah. Now, would you, would you Now bear in mind, if Aaron wasn't here, would you ride my mustache? All day, baby. I think mustaches are. Shut, shut up, Chleys. Shut up. He wants to ride your mustache. If you think about it, mustaches are from the army. And army guys are a little bit homosexual, but not because is this? They like men because they had choices at war. I got another story that had has no relevance to any of this. Okay. Has no relevance. You're always losing it. I can't bring you anywhere. Stay. This is why me and Viking are a duo subject and you're on the outs. Yeah, I, I love you. Sorry, I'm just deficient off 90 milligrams of Adderall. Hold on a second. I think you need your, your tits look amazing. May I say that? Oh, look at that. I went viral on Facebook and no one gives a [ __ ] Yeah, this is fun. Depressions are just a good way in another man's skin. You know what I mean? Just to really live it. So this, this is a sex. So I slept 45 minutes last night. Bear in mind. And my girlfriend, she's in on the other side of the world. I finger, finger, bing her from the other side of the world. Hey, can I ask you something? What? Turtlies. Am I the only guy that doesn't like jobs? Yes, you are. You look like the, you look like the type of guy that would just, that would just like missionary for for for five minutes and then you, you'd be done. No, I do other things, too. Yeah. I drive in my RV. I film skits. Listen, Viking. What? I grow lemons. How many times can you orgasm anally? You don't cold bath enough. Yeah. Um, you need to plunge. No one's even talking to you. I just want to say I'm so happy that you're dating Alyssa because I know you would have [ __ ] my ex by now. Alyssa thinks you're hot. Alyssa's a big fan of you. Yes, she mentioned she would [ __ ] you. She mentioned that. Alyssa's great. You ever snort Adderall? Turley's me. I'm hard. I'm hard. Oh [ __ ] So detective test said I'm hard. So Viking, your tits look beautiful, by the way. Thank you. Is that okay to say? Yes, I know they're beautiful. How many? So your body count? 12. You never listen. What's the freakiest thing you and me? Aaron, I know you don't want to be on camera. You're just here. Why? Why? What? What's the What's the What's the freak What's the freakiest thing you've ever done? Well, we've gone over when I worked at the tuggy parlor. And I don't mind talking about that. Was about. What's the tuggy parlor? You're an open. She's an open book. She's an open book. I, I know everything about. I know everything about such a virgin and I love him for that. I used to massage guys on their back and their balls and sometimes I'd step on them. Oh, would you step, would Would you like that when people when you're like, I mean, I needed the money. I don't know if I liked it, but now that I think of it. Right. Nice. Nice. Does you laugh like a doof? Like you laugh like a doof. What? Sorry. What? Let's get back to the segment. I think my ultimate fantasy thinking about it is going to 1942. Charlie, shut, Charlie, shut up. Charlie, stop squirting. In your opinion, I thought about my ultimate fantasy the other day. Stop talking in this where you have me co-hosted. The other day I realized Auschwitz, 1942, gas chamber. Are you a Holocaust denier? I'm not denying the Holocaust. I wish I was there. Oh, cuz you like Jewish people. It's not that I don't like Jewish people. You're just turn. I like watching people get tortured. Is that okay to say? Can we cut that? You get off to that, right? I mean, I love missionary sex with my husband. What feels better? What feels better? Getting cream pied in the ass or. I don't do. I don't listen. I, we've done this show like 10 times. I've said this. No idea anything about you, Viking. You don't do anything. And I, I, I don't like that you guys met up and made viral videos. That that cop stuff. That cop stuff. Where was I? I'm sorry. I know. I know. I was on a bender. I was, I was on, I was on 150 g of Adderall. Did that to you. I feel terrible. You should feel terrible. So, I've been celebrating my birthday for the last three months. And my body shouldn't be alive right now. I shouldn't be alive. Look, I, I'm not ashamed to admit I did hard drugs. Your areas are out. We're going to have to. You need to be telling Aaron. You need to be telling me that your areas are out, which we could just. He doesn't even care about my tits anymore. I feel like seven years doesn't even look at them. I don't even jack off to you anymore. Viking worship my boobs. And he's like, "Suck my dick." Really? 45 minutes and he edges and edges. He just waits there. Please, please, Aaron, please. And I try to come up. Puts my head down. But that's my master. I have to obey. Do you think? Do you think you're going to kill Aaron and have sex with him while he's while while his it's hard from, uh, what's it called? When when you get hard when you, when your body get, uh, something morphus when your body gets hard. This. I don't want anyone to see me this way. Ryan, I have Stockholm syndrome. Why would I kill my master? That's so hot, Viking. Now, you know what? I think Aaron and I were speaking about this. We don't like you in relationships and we don't like you out of relationships. We just don't like you. J, I have a question for you. Where do you think you could approve and improve in the bedroom? Uh, I don't really like, um, to have orgasms because it usually makes me sleepy and I get so sleepy when I have an orgasm. He gets sleepy. He's sleepy because he's a good boy. Yeah. And he has low tea. He needs. You need to get on tea. You need to. You need to get on everything. You better have some [ __ ] caffeine, dude. I mean, if you're not having sex cuz you get a little tired, wake up. Yeah. I'm going to. Dude, can we all get tired? We are all [ __ ] This is turning therapy. I'll be better, Vikings. Well, now I'm all self-conscious about how I act. I'm like a slumped over dumbass homeless guy. Oh, really? Is that how you feel? I'm the psychopath apparently. So, do they do that in like, uh, they should do. See, no one likes the impressions. Oh, no. I actually don't care. It's when the truth hits you hard. Yeah. The first time I sat on my hands the rest of the night. We don't talk on my hands. I swear. Yeah, but I don't, I don't have. I roasted you in the group chat. You, all of your friends. Yeah, that was rude, huh? I actually don't mind it because I like attention. Yeah. I wonder if they do that in couples therapy. They like do impersonate each other. He's like, "I'm a [ __ ] [ __ ] Fansely strangers custom request." There's a guy who, I mean, there's a lot of like guys that want to eat your [ __ ] There's one guy that he's literally in my DMs all the time. He's like, "Man, I bet your tastes great." This guy. I mean, it's every. Oh, man. The [ __ ] must be good today. Like, it's literally like hundreds. Wow. And I'm just like, "Wow, he's got a one-track mind." You know, poop eating connoisseurs. Yeah. Are very focused on what your diet is. I have a great diet because apparently it really triggers the. I feel like, you know, I feel like it looks good. I feel like if I was going to eat poop, I'd eat mine. What's your look like? It's healthy. Yeah. Vegan poop. It's not vegan, but like I'm super healthy. See, I'm lactose intolerant and I'm addicted to Taco Bell. Right. Oh, you don't want to eat Taco Bell. You know, I'll tell you this. I just went through this little issue. So, me and my girl are very new and we just went a whole week vacation together sharing a hotel. Mhm. And first three days, I'm going to go take a call in the lobby. Drop a bomb. I'm going to, I'm going to go get you a coffee from Starbucks. And I one day I just sat her down. I said, "I've been taking [ __ ] We're both sneaking around taking shits." So, we went to the store. We got Poo-Pourri. And now we're like, "Hey, I'm gonna go poop." Well, you don't have to announce it. We did the announcement. Oh, okay. You already did that. And by the end of the trip, I said, "Baby, next time I poop, I'm sitting on my lap like I'm Santa." That's just. That's. What about like a little blumpkin action? Will you get your blows up while I'm Santa? Do people do those? I've heard they do. Really? I saw a video that changed my life. I've heard guys like just, "Oh yeah, I sucked his dick while I was taking his shit." I'm like, "Why would you do that?" A gay to a gay? No. No. Like a regular chick with a guy? I don't think it happens. I. Yeah, they do. Do you know anyone who's got a buck? Do you? Uh-uh. Well, they probably don't. They probably don't. They might not. They think it's a gay thing. No, I think. Sounds really. You've got them. No, you haven't. No, he hasn't. I don't know if anyone's ever gotten. I don't want to be like. I'll remember we discovered Urban Dictionary as children and we would look up Cleveland Steamroller and the Superman. He's like, we. He's thinking you guys. She's in the past. In the past as a child. What did you do? Do you go on Chatroulette as a kid? No. Wait, what? What's the other one? Newgrounds games. E-bombs. Yeah, I've been. I've been on E-bombs. New. Dude, that was the cleanest one. Rotten.com. Rotten.com was the best. Rotten.com. Yes. That shit's freaky. Guys, what an episode today. I think definitely the funniest of 2025. Maybe ever. Great work, Ch. That was funny. Great work, Viking. Check out our group skits cuz we're a trio. Yo, we were doing skits before we even came in here. We did skits in between. We're going to do skits now. In the elevator. Play it. Run it back. Run it back. Yeah. Love you both. Love you both so much. Love you. Ladies and gentlemen, very sad news happened this week. Jake Marshall passed away. He was our very close friend. He was on the famous [ __ ] Cancer episode where he had stage four cancer. His dream was to meet Nikki Benz and Kazumi. We flew him down from Indiana and then they surprised him with a threesome went viral. Biggest episode we've ever done and he stayed very close friends with us almost two years. We checked in weekly and unfortunately cancer got the best of him. But good light to shine on on the matter is he really was supposed to pass. When he came to visit, he said he had two weeks. The video ad from Pillow Talk fans buying it got him an extra year and eight months, you know, and he fought a really tough fight. And so we're very sad to see him go, but we love Jake Marshall. [Applause] And he said, "If I ever pass, I want you to do one Jake Marshall episode a year with other people with cancer." He said, "Call it Make a Dick Foundation." A that's good. I hate to say this. Sounds weird to say out loud, but if you or you know anyone wants to be the next Jake Marshall, email Liam. Oh, that's. We'll do it in his honor. Yeah. Shout out to Jake. There we go. [Music]