Transcription
F. St. James, host of Ask a Brother podcast, and you're watching the Ladies Table. Every week, women from different backgrounds, different experiences, and different walks of life come together for an honest conversation.
Some perspectives will challenge you. "Trying to call straight black men to the table about masculinity when yours is compromised."
Some will make you laugh. "Well, why would a man want a woman that the the claim to fame is knowing how to fight? He don't want to fight you."
Some might change the way you think. "Life is about tradeoffs. There's only two options. If you choose one way, you're probably not going to get the other way."
This is the Ladies Table. "It, you know, you've done self-healing and you said, but it took some time and now I can actually laugh about this."
"Yes. And I was glad he had a funny response about it as well. We're no longer fighting, y'all."
"Oh, this is so Yeah. Yeah. But I did notice I did notice that he said he would put you in the Matrix. That would be nice to go into the Matrix."
"And you know what else made it great? He said he loved me."
"Yes, he did. Absolutely."
"And you guys, I will always have, you know, you got that one that that you always got a little special place. We are in a in a good place. And I'll take the blue pill."
"OKAY."
"But girl, I was talking about that. You always got that one. I know. I got THAT ONE. AND I OH MY GOOD MY GOODNESS. THE ORGASMS WERE FAST. YES. UHOH. UHOH. YEAH. UH-OH. YES. Remember the time. REMEMBER THE TIME."
"WHEN I SAY a partner, I want someone that's going to be fun."
"That's not intimidated by who and what I am."
"Um, that likes to travel."
"Going to let me go shopping."
"Yes. Yes. Yes."
"I feel like you just spoken into existence."
"I hope so, girlfriend."
"I feel like you just you got and I'm taking applications. You got a free."
"Okay. Well, keep Well, be all Well,"
"and I don't discriminate. He I'm not against different nationalities and you know that, too. I'm a woman of a certain age. And you know, life changes. The body changes. And you're not going to be the same size that you were when you were 19, 20 years old. But people forget that sometimes and they can say very mean things to you. But I have to remember I'm a woman and I am comfortable in the skin I'm in, flaws and all. So, you know, I'm in a business that uh you know, you get judged by your looks constantly, especially if you were like, you know, a hot chick and stuff like that. Sometimes people don't allow you the grace to age, to be normal, to live a little bit, to have children, to look a little bit more mature, to age, to age is a blessing and a beautiful thing. And so if you don't listen to the chatterbox and stay true to who you are and love who you are, you know, it can destroy you. It really viv Fox once represented the peak of Hollywood allure. Confident, glamorous, and one of the most sought-after black actresses of her time. But today, her name trends for a different reason. Not for her work, but what she used to look like. Recently, Viva joked at a women's expo. Don't date 50 Cent and don't date no damn rappers. A playful moment, but one that reignited old flames and new criticism. 50 responded with an AI meme. Playful, petty, and deeply symbolic of how women, especially black women, are forced to perform aging gracefully under the public eye while men weaponized their youth against them. Viva's story isn't about bitterness. It's about perception. In the early 2000s, she was the standard of beauty. Now, she's become a symbol in a larger cultural argument. The idea that when a woman's looks fade, her value somehow fades with it. We don't talk enough about how fame ages differently for women, especially for women of color. Viva didn't fall off. She just stepped out of the fantasy that people built around her beauty. And maybe that's the real story. How society treats the women in what's called perfect when they stop pretending to be timeless."
All right. All right. All right. Welcome to another episode of The Ladies Table. I'm your host, Jeff St. James, and we have Miss Anita Style Meer from Better Love Movement. We have Maggie the Substitute and Miss Crimson Cure herself. Uh ladies, uh I've noticed a number of highprofile female celebrities have been vocal about desensoring men. Uh especially post 50. Um and marriage and children as well not being seen as a priority. and them also acknowledging or even stating publicly that they're happy, that they're content, and that they still have a whole lot of options. Um, including younger men. Um, some of the most notable ones, including the one we just saw was Viva as well as Nia Long, Melissa Ford recently, and even Ebony K. Williams. I'm very, very interested as women, I'm interested to hear what it is that you all think about this stuff. But before we do, everybody that's watching, regardless of where you're watching from, please make sure you subscribe to everybody on the screen. Make sure that you like this and make sure you send it to at least two, three, four, or even five people. Um, so ladies, y'all can feel free to kind of jump on jump on in.
Uh, Vivica A. Fox to start. Um, you know, she was she was uh she was a problem back in the day and you know, things look a little different. um what do y'all think about her journey and what is it that she's claiming how she see things and even that that that gentleman at the end with how he was framing it not being about um necessarily her as much as the fantasy that we all have held her to what do you what do you make of all of this y'all can go anyone wants to jump in?
"Um, first of Uh the wall is very much real that we will say and and it does not exist because women age. That is not the wall. The wall is not a woman's age just in and of itself because she aged now she's not valuable or whatever the case may be because and I'll give you a few examples since we're speaking on a celebrity Angela Basset Felicia Rashad I'm just just two they have been able to age gracefully these Women have continued to be beautiful physically and more importantly how they have presented themselves publicly is where the real scrutiny is or is not for them. The reason why, excuse me, that we don't speak on uh mi Miss Felicia or Miss Angela the way in which we may speak about Miss Vivica is because they don't carry themselves in a way that lends itself to a lot of negative criticism. They themselves have aged gracefully. So, it forces the public to see them that way. and they have remained respectable women also. Okay, the reason why I say respectable women is not because Viva has had so like so many scandals or anything like that. It's because she's outwardly bitter about her decisions and where they have landed her because Miss Felicia is not married. Miss Felicia Rashad has not been married for quite some time. But she also does not get anywhere to discuss whether or not that made her bitter, whether or not she likes where she is. She's not complaining. She's not outwardly whatever she feels has not been for public consumption. So she's kept it to herself. Whether she feel good about it, bad about it, indifferently, whatever the case may have been, she has made peace. as far as we're concerned and we hold her in respect and esteem. So, we don't speak about her like that. So, that's that's the just the first thing. I'm I'm gonna land it and let the other lady speak. But, I don't the wall doesn't exist just because of age. It's how you carry yourself in your age. If you're not aging gracefully, then it's not graceful. Yep."
What about the What about you other two? Uh, Nita, you're on mute.
"Okay. I um 100% agree. Right. I I was looking up a list of all the um black actresses that are over 45. And a lot of those women on that list are they may be married, some of them are single. However, they're not trying to like go back to their glory days. They're not trying to relive their youth. And that to me is the issue is that, you know, Vivica is still talking about 50 Cent. So, in the red pill space, we call that alpha widow."
"Yeah."
"She is an alpha widow."
"Explain that to audience, Anita, for people that may not know that. cuz I the whole time she was talking I was like"
"thank you for bringing that up Miss Anita."
"Yeah, she's alpha widow. The fact that she continues to talk about this man to talk about the sexual prowess and you know him I think he bought her a dress and then he bought her something else and took her to an award show like she's not going to find another man that will match whatever imprint he left on her. So, uh, Sherry Shepard made note of it, said, "Oh, I've got that one, too. Everybody has that one." So, clearly 50 Cent was Vivica's one because she continues to keep his name in her mouth."
"And there's been over 20 years, right?"
"Yes. There's nothing classy about that. There's nothing cool about that. But it's this idea that they want to relive their heyday. That's what to me is just it's detestable. It's like, okay, you know, we all had we all were 21 once, but now like focus on what you got going on now. That's what makes it kind of embarrassing."
What about you, Maggie?
"So, absolutely, the wall is real. I agree with both Miss Kendra and Miss Anita. A couple things stood out to me on this one. Viva Fox is an example and she is a warning to a lot of younger women who may end up like her if they don't use their limited window very wisely. I was looking at the comments and even before we went live, the fatigue that people have, oh my goodness, here we go again with Vivica. So, it's not so much that the light is shining on her, but it's a story that all of us, you only have your time in the spotlight for a moment. You need to choose wisely. Take advantage of that. Like Kevin Samuel said, get the best that you can and sail off into the sunset because nobody's going to keep waiting for you to get right. And like Miss Kendra said, this has nothing to do with her age. I turned 50 last year. All of us are mature women and I'm looking forward to the second half because of the decisions that I made when I was in my prime. Um, for Vivica, what stands out to me, like Miss Anita said, this relationship, if you will, with 50 Cent was over two decades ago. Not only is she still speaking on it, as I understand, and I don't really watch her love life, but wasn't it short, like four months or so,"
"it wasn't even a relationship of significance. And he saw enough in that moment to say, you know what, I'm gonna let you have it and I'm going to go on live my life. So, what can we learn from this? Young ladies, all of us are going to meet that one. You need to be ready when he's ready. If you want marriage and family, if you want a long-term relationship, if you want something of value and you want to be that respectable, mature uh woman, you need to make decisions in your prime that you will appreciate when you're in your golden years. And the fact that she still keeps replaying this, if we didn't believe that the wall is real, let Vivica be that example because this is a regret that she has. And every time she rehearses what happened, she is telling all of us, "That was my moment and I blew it." So, last thing I'll say is this. The wall is not just about your age. Like Miss Kendra said, this is about securing the relationship that is going to take you to the end of your days. So, you can still be a productive citizen, you know, a charitable woman. You can still maybe have professional success. You can do all of that well into your 50s, 60s, or whatever. But if we're being honest, all of us want that man who's going to come give you a hug and say, "Oh, you wearing a new perfume. I haven't smelled this one before." All of us want that meaningful relationship. And you don't have forever and ever, amen, to get it right. So, get it right the first time and you won't become Bithica Fox."
So, for everybody that's currently still watching, um, hey, make sure that you like this. I know about 100 plus people since I last made this comment. Make sure that you like this and you share this with at least two, three, four, even five people. And then number two, if you have a particular comment or question, there's already a lot of comments that people are giving just with Viva. I'm not going to be able to show them all, but if you uh hit the super chat, uh whether it's a comment or question that you want us to kind of make sure that we do not miss, feel free to hit that super chat button. Or if you just want to show love, we would greatly appreciate it. Yeah. Um I appreciate everybody being so nice. So that means that I don't have to.
Um so for starters, uh I agree with y'all totally. Obviously the wall is isn't just about age and it's true about how people um can age more gracefully than others, especially in in in terms of public image. I think the initial issue from what I'm seeing and noticing with the ladies that are choosing to come out publicly, choosing to speak on past situations and choosing to speak on their relationships is this is an attempt to control the narrative. This is an attempt for them to control the narrative. And when I was kind of writing my thoughts down about this, I was like, what a lot of these ladies are trying to do is get you to focus on their current feelings, which are used to justify their current outcomes. And they want you to ignore their past decisions and choices. And they want you to ignore whether I used to uh want the things that I say I don't need. Now, they're trying to they're trying to get everybody to focus on, hey, I'm content. I'm at peace. I got options. I got this. I got that. I'm fulfilled. I'm this, I'm that whether they're telling the truth or not, that's between them and God. What I'm interested in is what was the things that you've had probably had to experience that led you to the point of why things you probably wanted historically and previously now you don't want. They want us to skip over that part. They want us to skip over. Now, Vivica made a joke. Don't date the rappers. There was a whole lot of people that uh Diva may have come across some athletes, celebrities, high-profile men, you name it. It didn't work out with any of them. And it's easier for her and Melissa Ford is going to be a really really good example of this of them trying to shape the narrative around ultimately this is about me and I've decided to be in this position. Kind of. Yeah. But I don't know that you did it intentionally in the sense that you knew 20, 30 years ago your outcome would be this today. The two reasons why I think a lot of times a lot of us don't really even believe a lot of the women that are constantly jumping up and doing this thing is two reasons. Number one, people who are truly genuinely happy with what they got, they don't have to keep reminding everybody. They don't they're not even concerned with how other people feel about it. people who are very happy and sincere and at peace with their life and their life choices, they probably move like Felicia Rashad. They they probably, you know what I'm saying? Like I I've noticed that the loudest voices when it comes to trying to convince people, I'm happy, we don't need this, we don't need that, it's usually people that at one time believe they did. It didn't work. It didn't work out. They've given their body, their time, their womb to a whole bunch of men that it didn't work out for. And now it's easier to say I never really wanted it. It was never a priority. I've I I it's easier to say that than to say I'm in a hypergamous failure. I I've tried. I aimed high. I thought I had more time. I thought I had more leverage and now I don't. rather than walking around with egg on their faces when they were one of the baddest, most beautiful, gorgeous women that were using the pretty privilege that got them into those spaces. And now the pretty privilege that meant I want you to judge me based on how I look. That's what got you in music videos. That's what got you on the shows. That's what got you into Hollywood. But now that it's not in their favor in the same way, I don't want to be judged by my looks. But tell me I'm crazy, Crimson. Tell me I'm not crazy.
"You know, you know what? You're not crazy. And I agree with everything that you just said, Mr. Jeff, and I'll add to it about what the wall really consists of for women. It's not just the age as we said before, okay? It's about like what Miss Maggie said, the decision makingaking when you had all the so-called options. See, the reason why Vivica keep talking about Fippy is cuz she fumbled it. She fumbled him worse than she has ever fumbled any bag. If she has ever fumbled a bag, it has been a worse fumble him even though it was only a fourmon. I'mma tell you why that short relationship affected her so much. It's not the length of it. It was who 50 Cent was as a man. Yeah. Okay. As a man. Several aspects of him. Because the man he is today is a result of who he was then. He just cultivated that person. And so now he's, you know what I'm saying, a a a mega rich, a businessman. He went beyond the rap game, right? He's not just some old washed up rapper, right? She saw that potential. This is where the the she's angry at herself. She has projected that off like 50 did something to her. He never did nothing to her except see her for who she was then and decide that he wasn't going to do it. the because in the past when he has whenever he has spoken on it which had not been often she he has said the reason that they weren't together was because essentially during that little stint she was trying to son him because at that time she had been in the industry longer than him and instead of sharing her knowledge her network her you know and different things because he said he thought that her being a little bit older than him, she would have more actright than the young ones, which is why he went for her. She was still bad and she was a little bit older. So, he was good with that until she showed up with the same mentality as a as a young chick that don't think her time running out. Okay. He was the last uh uh ship to sail that she wanted to be on. She has been salty ever since when he basically her being Vivica Fox didn't mean nothing to him. It meant something to them other men at some point. But to him, you don't run this. I don't care what dynamic you think is happening here. I'm the man here. I'm the man. And you not gonna run me. You not gonna put no batter. you're not gonna do none of that. So, you have to go. And she was not accustomed to being dismissed, especially at that time in her life by any man. And the fact that he never spent the block either. He never spent the block. He never was like, "OH, I REGRET." NOPE. He was fine with his decision. stood on business and she been belly aching ever since because she can't find another man that she feels that way about. There's been another man, of course, that wanted her, but she about them men like she felt about 50. And that's that's a part of that wall, too. I got more to say, but I'mma land and let the other lady speak."
"Yeah. And real quick, Anita and Maggie, before y'all y'all come back in, um, multiple people have been kind of acknowledging this. When a lot of the ladies, especially when they get up there and they start using this whole I'm not going to I'd rather be single than than settle language, this talking point. What they actually mean is, I'd rather be single than adjust to what my actions have brought me to in terms of my actual quality options. I'd rather be single than adjust to the market that I now have. That's actually the truth. You're you're not settling it in your head. You think you settle in you getting with the men that are currently wanting to do anything with you presently. That's just you adjusting. That's what you can. So, as an example, Vivica could say she doesn't want to be with any other man that's not on 50's level. That's not her saying any man that she gets with now is her settling. No, ma'am. Any man you get with now is actually what you qualify for. That's your new level. You don't want to adjust to what a 60 plus year old woman who's, you know, put on a little little weight or whatever and also has very high unrealistic expectations and is talked for 20 years about a man from her past. This is this is Jada talking about Tupac all over again. What man wants to sign up to be Will Smith if he can see the future and know Tupac is always going to be the one who had her heart, who was always able to get her body to react in a way that that no other man she ever would want or allowed to. So the first issue that these ladies, again, they don't have to accept it. You're not actually settling when you're older. It's just you refuse to adjust to the market that you currently have. All right. So, everybody, if you're currently still watching, please make sure that y'all like, that you follow everybody that y'all see on the screen. Um, and and also, I see one person already started the super chats. We appreciate you. We have casual rookie 95. Thank you, good sir, for the $5. The word I'm waiting to hear regarding this archetype is unbearable. And that's and and and and all of you kind of alluded to it, especially you, Crimson. There's this thing, and I don't know why it is that I know it's hubris. I know it's ego. I know it's arrogance and everything else, but I don't know what it is about women making it to 55, 60 plus and saying that they I'm the prize and it was all the men's fault. A lot of them are just unbearable people. Uh Anita and then Maggie, why are so many women ending up like this? And what's the mentality that you think they have to have to end up going 40, 50 years into this and still kind of claiming like men aren't that important. It's not a big issue. It's all about whether I want it or not. Like how do in your opinion, what's the psychology and mindset you think some women might have in their 20s or 30s that could lead to this?"
"Um, I think there's a lack of humility and we know especially now that you know female narcissism is kind of on the rise uh for many reasons but there is this entitlement and lack of humility that women have. And you would think that as they got older they got wiser. And a lot of women today are in this perpetual maiden archetype. They really do think they're still their 21-year-old self when time is supposed to move us through those feminine archetypes. I am a sage archetype. That's my archetype now. I've moved from maiden to anu to coette to mother. Now I am the sage archetype. That's what should have happened. Um, I personally believe, now this is just my opinion, and you know, I could be wrong. I'm just going to start off by saying that, but I believe that being married, having children, that kind of forces you to get out of that maiden archetype. And a lot of these women have never been married and never had children. I know Nia Long has a child. Um, Vivica Fox at one point was married to a nonfamous gentleman. Um, Melissa Ford doesn't have any kids, never been married. Ebony K. Williams now has a child but never been married. So I think you know it's the rested development of a woman when she is not forced to go through all those different archetypes, the feminine archetypes that she is stuck in this maiden archetype and she thinks she is forever 21. And I'm like, "No, you've got to, you know, humble yourself. You've got to sacrifice. There's lots of stages that women need to go through, and they're not going through them, and they're just stuck in this like forever girl archetype. That's what it appears to be to me."
"I love what you said about the arrested development piece. And I think that that's a sign is when you get to a point where you have to brag about the younger men that you can now control and you can talk about that you don't need or prioritize or value relationships, men, children or families or marriage. Cool. Um, I think fellas, we need to start interpreting that as a warning sign of arrested development. She wasn't put in a position to where she was forced to grow so that she could learn how to stay in a relationship long term. Again, there are people who legitimately are happy and have been coasting doing life solo for a very, very long time. That's not these ladies. And when we look at your track record versus what you're currently saying, and you're putting your business out there publicly, you're commenting on it, people are going to compare what you were doing, who you were with, and what you wanted in comparison to what you're currently claiming and seeing how a believable it is or isn't. Um, you know what? Let's do this. I'm going to now do uh the person who really kind of sparked this all for me, Melissa Ford. Uh, bless her heart. I want to see what you all think about. Um, and I think Melissa is a really good example of still very attractive, still gets into certain spaces and establishments, still has access to some a variety of different men. Obviously, things have changed, but it seems like there's so much more that involves quote unquote aging, progressing, hitting the wall that I think she does a really good job of maybe expressing some of the things that probably contributed to how she got here. So, let's pay attention to that one sec."
"I never made it down the aisle, but I have been engaged in the past. How many engagements? I would say 2.5. The Christmas holidays are coming up. I have no parents. I'm an orphan. I don't have family. So, it's just like I look at Christmas trees. I look at everybody making these plans and stuff like that and I'm like going to go to Mexico. I'm just going to go cry on the beach and talk to the ocean and the universe and stuff like that and just try and make it hot for myself, you know? But that's just I'm in my 40s. Um, and so, you know, this is this is this is the decade where we have like an existential crisis. You know what I'm saying? Um, where we start to really really really really like look at how is my life meaningful? What is my purpose? Maybe start thinking about, you know, legacy and stuff like that. I don't know if I've really had an intimate relationship with a man in my entire life. I've definitely had the whole can't keep a man, you know, what's wrong with you? You know, you seem so perfect, so something must be wrong with you kind of thing. And it's just like, okay, whatever. And I just don't see anybody out there that I really would love to sleep with. Like, I just I'm super like I'm an incel right now. Involuntary celibate because there's nobody out there that I would really like to sleep with, you know? And plus, I'm so busy. But for me, it's not just status and prestige and height and bank account. It's not that. I am looking for somebody who actually enjoys being an adult, you know, cuz I've dealt with so many men that had like, you know, arrested development and Peter Pan syndrome, and I just I can't I'm looking for somebody who has uh has has healthy boundaries. I want somebody who is emotionally intelligent, um, emotionally mature. Men have dangled marriage in front of us like a carrot since that is the thing that they feel like is the ultimate goal for us and that is the pressure that society has put on us. It is no longer the truth. At the end of the day, it all comes down to control. A protector, a provider, uh, you know what, a a a ring on her finger. None of those things impress me or impress upon me or I or even feel like I need them. You know, I have proven I can take very good care of myself and my standards are based on what I have been able to provide for myself and I have constructed my life in a way where I am I'm content every single day. Every single day. I don't want for anything. And it's I'm not even talking about material things here. I wake up to unconditional love from my puppies, you know, like and they bring me so much joy. I can apply the nurturing love that I would have had for my own child through my friend's children because my friends are my family. I am part of the rich auntie faction and I'm very very very very content with being there. I love it. Yeah, it's weird when you go from being highly desirable and also feeling like, you know, very attractive and wanting to like, you know, um, consort with men to just feeling like I really want to be left alone. I really I really want to be left alone. In no way, shape or form am I upset because I never got married and I never had kids. I promise you if I wanted those things they would have happened five times over. They just would have and I really didn't want"
"about to say stop the cat but I'm going to let it finish one second"
"enough."
"All right. All right. All right. Um thoughts, opinions. Now, let me say this. She said quite a few things, right? She she mentioned I made sure I took some notes on this part. Uh she there's no one worth sleeping with that she wants or that as of now. I don't believe she's always felt that way. Um she's dealt with so many men that quote unquote had arrested development. Uh she said so much of it is about control when it comes to men wanting to quote unquote protect and provide. Uh standards are based on what I have been able to provide for myself. She me the p the puppies came out. She didn't mention cats. She mentioned puppies. uh transitioning from feeling desired and and feeling very attractive to now wanting to be alone and if I wanted those things they would happen five times over. Um I didn't want it enough is bas so basically what she's saying is the reason why I don't have those things is because it's on my terms and I don't want it. Crimson, Maggie, then Anita. She said so. She said all the go-to talking points. What y'all think?"
"I heard every level of cope that you could possibly hear from a woman who know for a fact that that it is over for her. Over for her. She coped with every type of coke, puppy, single point, friends. She ain't got no family. But ain't no man was good enough. See, I'mma tell you something. These women, and Lisa Ray belong in this conversation as well. These women, I'm talking to the younger ladies. These women are cautionary tale like no other. not to waste your time, your youth, your beauty, your energy. Women do not like to hear that we have a shelf life for certain things. Attracting quality men and becoming a quality woman that a man would of quality would want has a short shelf life. You have to cultivate yourself. See, the problem with all of these women is, first of all, they was too cute. Too cute. Too much attention from too many men and they didn't know how to handle it. The vanity of women, see, their vanity was too out of control and they didn't want to control it. They thought erroneously that that beauty would not fade. That the men who were surrounding them in their 20s would thin out in their 30s and nearly be non-existent in their 40s because they did not have the good sense to choose a man when they were young who wanted them. who would have this woman said and I did a whole big show on her on that clip. I was two and a half times girl and when she got to explaining in detail about them men she was with it was just girl what? So, so the wall for these women, I say this in our land, the wall for so many women, not just these women, but so many is getting that attention and then not expecting the drop off, the severe women get into a space when we get to a age where we become invisible to men. This is why it's important to be married. See, I didn't never hit no wall. I never hit a wall. ALL MY ADULT LIFE HAS been married. Hit a wall when I married for 20 years. Turn around AND GOT MARRIED AGAIN. WALL WHERE? AND WHY? It's not because I didn't age. But it was because I had the good sense when I was 20 to get married, stay married. He passed away. I got myself together. It took me a few years to do that and then go and get married again because I wasn't making foolish decisions about and overestimating my worth as a woman. You're I'm only worth something to my husband. That's why I'm not at the wall because the one man that I'm getting all this validation and all of that from, he actually care. The other men don't care. I'm invisible to those men when I go outside. I'm not visible to these men. These I'm not getting hidden on hit ON EVERYWHERE. WHY WOULD I BE?"
"And and real quick, man, uh I'm I'm going respond to some of the stuff you just said. I'm going to check your super chats before I forget. Uh let's see who we got. Michael Malice, appreciate you, good brother. $2 talked herself out of being on the TV show Power. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the other thing. When these ladies say the things that Melissa Ford, Viva, and many other ladies often end up saying, they're standards. Most men aren't mature. They're all children. They're all Peter Pan. This, this, they're all I don't need a man. Like, when they keep saying all this stuff, the men that actually would change their view of that, it's a repellent. So all that's left is the men that have a lower tiered view of themselves where it's like I need to prove myself to to this woman that's already not the man you want because now he's placed you on a pedestal and he's looking up to you and you're looking down at him. younger guys, men that don't make good money or or great money, men that aren't that men that don't have better options are now the ones that's kind of orbiting around these types of ladies because of the energy and the messaging that they're sending off. Gentlemen, if you have your ish together, if you are confident, if you have options, why would you choose the woman that's older, more bitter, more jaded, and is saying she doesn't need you or want you and that she has more important things going on like her dog and her friend's kids, you'll just choose the woman that seems a little bit more excited, happier, wanting, and sees the need for rel. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy is basically what I'm saying. These ladies are talking themselves out of the very things that they used to at one point in time claim to want. Um, who else we got? Uh, Clock, what was that? Clock e Hback. Thank you, good brother, for the $5. These women are useful to the group except Vivica and Lisa. That box is too I'm not going to say appreciate you, brother, for the $5. These Oh. Oh, you gave it gave it two times. Thank you. Thank you, sir. Uh, big discussion. What's going on, Big D? Uh, $5. Salute to Jeff and the guest. Thank you for providing balance to this discussion. Absolutely. And then Tristan Smith, $9.99. Thank you for that. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what a midlife crisis looks like. Yeah. And I realize now the midlife crisis for women is a little bit different than men. And one of the ways that a midlife crisis for women is going to manifest is they going to pick up this cell phone and they going to talk about relationally what they don't need and that men are all whatever and that they're at peace. That's now the the signal. That's the bat signal. Now, um, one of the ways I've been thinking about this is, um, ladies, y'all ever we all went to public school, I'm assuming, right? Public, some of us maybe have done some college or whatever. When you think about the former school athletes that peaked in high school, peaked in college, and then years later they talk about how they didn't even want to get in the league. I changed my mind about getting it. When you when you were in your prime, that's what you was aiming for. That's why you were surrounding yourself with the men that could take care of you. That's why you were chasing after the men that were highprofile. You wanted the guy that could ease the burden off of having to do life on your own. Now again, if you want to say the last 30 years all I wanted was sex, you could lie to yourself, ladies. We don't believe most of you. I truly believe that a lot of these ladies are the former athletes that peaked in high school and college and are now still talking as if they still can get they still can get starting time on a on a team. They can walk in the league right now and demand what they want. No, you can't. If Michael Jordan walked into the league, the greatest NBA basketball player, well, depending on whether it's the Broner or or Jordan, if the greatest NBA basketball player of all time walks on the floor right now, he ain't going to be able to start on any team. Period. That's what's happening with these ladies. And it's unfortunate that they're trying to spin it as if I could be a starter. I can get on any team if I want to. No, you can't. No, you can't. You have to buy a ticket like the rest of us. And then the last few super chats, we have uh your Adam Jerel Adams, thank you for the $10. These existential crisis be some bad motor scooters. Appreciate you, sir. Who else we got? No cupcake zone 199. When are in we are in the soft wall era. Oh, okay. All right. That's that's a new one. I never thought about that. The soft wall era where where they're they're launching towards the wall. It's starting the the real hit is when you're completely invisible. Uh so for a lot of these ladies, they're they're teetering. softball era. I like that. Um, Melanin Goddess, thank you for the $5. I look forward to these lives every Monday, y'all. Thank you and much love. Appreciate you, sis. And make sure you share it with all your home girls and your girlfriends. For sure. We're trying to keep this very consistent. For sure. High five vibe. Thank you for the $10. Melissa is still failing to tell the real truth about her relationships. Women who use their bodies for a living have had their bodies used. In the process, their souls were collateral damaged. My god. My god, my god. When you market yourself in a way to where you're object, you're literally saying, "Hey, I'm objectifying myself. Here I am. See me just in this light." And then when most men that are attracted to that do that, this is often what it leads to. There just isn't a lot of happy uh happily ever afters when it comes to this type of stuff. Hback, thank you again for the $2 lioness. You better be listening. Y'all not safe. And then the last two, uh, high tolerance 2500. Thank you for the 1999. Good evening, Jeff and the ladies. It's not been much of a topic, but these women developed very unusual connections with their pets. An ex on one occasion wasn't trying to be intimate without her pooch in the bed. My god. Jesus. I don't even know, sir. Uh, thank you for the super chat, brother. I don't know if I wanted to know all that information. And then last but not least, big discussion again. Thank you for the $5 salute to Jeff and the guest. Thank you for providing again the balance. So yeah, man.
Um, Maggie, what what's going on with your home girl, uh, Melissa Ford?
"So, I'll say it. That was exhausting and unbearable. Melissa Ford and many of these other women are spiraling. She did tell one truth in the interview where she was really reflecting on, it's the holiday season and nobody's really coming to check on me. It hits all of us. Life humbles all of us if you have not made good decisions and real relationships. I agree with Miss Crimson wholeheartedly. When you look at Melissa Ford, when you look at Vivica A. Fox, both of these are mature women who are still beautiful for their age. I was thinking of I know she's a gospel artist, but someone like a CC Winonsens, you know, we talked about other mature women. If these women had used their beauty as leverage to secure a real relationship in their prime, if you looked at her in this interview and this was a mother of three, maybe a grandmother of two sitting down for an interview and imparting wisdom, our opinion of them would be a complete 180 for what we think of them now because they are still trying to keep the spotlight on them and Young ladies, hear me well. The spotlight doesn't stay on any of us forever. You're right, Mr. Jeff. I was thinking about that high school athlete that is still telling you in his 40s that he made it to the to the state championship when he was in high school. You made a comment about are these women trying to change the narrative? I disagree. I think these women are trying to have a narrative because nobody's talking about them. And ladies, hold on, Maggie. We ain't gonna skip over that. I didn't even think of that. Say that part again. These women are not trying to change the narrative. These women are trying to have a narrative. Circling back to what you said, those of us that are in happy relationships, we don't have to shout from the rooftops and and scream to the world. Our men give us all the attention that we need. Like Miss Crimson, I married young. I married my college boyfriend at 25. And when I married at that time, I felt like I beat the buzzer. Meaning I wanted to marry before I was closer to 30 than I was to 20 because I knew that it was not going to get easier. Unfortunately for these women, and I'm not harping on beauty, they are beautiful. But ladies, hear me, beauty is a currency. Spend it wisely. Beauty can also be a curse. And if you use your beauty to collect trips and trinket and attention, that spotlight will move on to the next beautiful woman who comes in the door and you will be sitting there looking left and right. What about me? That's what we're hearing now. These women realize the spotlight has moved. Nobody's talking about them. Nobody's checking for them. So when they have an opportunity, when they do have a microphone in front of them, they want to prove to all of us, I had the the upper hand the whole time. And I chose not to settle down. Nobody asked you that. Nobody cares. I'm sorry, but Miss Crimson, Miss Crimson is right. I was with my college boyfriend from 18 until we divorced when I was 36. half of my life with"
One man, and then my counseling, and then got right back into a long-term relationship. I've been in a long-term relationship for 15 years. So, I've been in a relationship since I was 18. And when you are established and secure and out of this dating market, you're not setting yourself up for all of this rejection and humiliation. It just passes all over you. That's what the covering of a good man does for you. We're not supposed to have all eyes on me. You want to have your man's eyes on you.
So again, you know, these women, I feel very sorry for them, but young ladies, um, my students that are beautiful, that are successful, married young, 21, 22, 23, because they realize, you know what, this is the time that I'm going to get the best outcome that I want. And I want to go ahead and lock it down so that when I am a little bit more gray or a little bit plumper than I was in my youth, I have a long legacy and a history of building a family and having a man that thinks the world of me when that pretty young thing walks through the door. He wouldn't trade that for the lifetime of love and devotion that he has from me.
Maggie, I'm so happy that you pointed that out about, um, the idea that they're just trying to create a narrative to even be relevant because the truth, like the, the real crash out right now that I'm seeing more than Joy Taylor. Joy Taylor right now, every two for somebody that's desentered men, she talked more about men than I think anybody else on social media right now. And there was a period of time when a lot, and again, Joy's still, like you said, um, Melissa is still very attractive, as is the case with Joy and and many of these other ladies, but obviously they don't look the same. They're not. Things have changed, you know, and seeing how much they'll change in their mental, but they'll change for the worse. And and it's like, well, now I got to figure out a way to repackage this and market and say, this was my choice. This is what I wanted. And and and it wasn't really about the men. And and and I never really wanted that all together. Like nobody actually believes anything up until you maybe really are currently content because you got to be with what your current options are. We know that when you've tried things in the past. I genuinely don't believe all of these women went through their whole life being like, I'm going to deal with, interact with, chase, or be chased by famous, well-off athletes, actors, all these high-profile men, and I plan on being just one-night stands and secret flings for the next 30 years. I don't believe that. I don't believe that. And I don't think the public's buying it as much anymore.
And I think what you all kind of alluded to is, I think more and more, hopefully Gen Z, because I feel like millennials might be kind of cooked at this point, too. Hopefully, Gen Z is going to start to realize, like, that's not the flex. The flex is not being able to say at the end of it all, when you're getting up there in age and looking around the retirement home, there's nobody to visit you or or or or visiting the friends who also couldn't figure it out and y'all all staying at the retirement home together. Like, that's not the flex you think it is. Like, at some level, you got to, like, where's the family? Where's the legacy? Where, where's beyond the social media clout that they're still currently fighting for? And and you saying that thing that just could have stood out to me. They are trying to, it's not just about creating a narrative, they need a narrative period because the reality is is like, yeah, we're actually outside of them putting this stuff out there, we probably wouldn't be covering them. They wouldn't even be trending. So, absolutely true.
We do have one more, um, person that I kind of want to see. Very similar, I think, to Melissa Ford in many respects. Ebony K. Williams is another very attractive, um, woman, uh, highly lawyer, uh, legal expert, very, very knowledgeable, very, very smart in terms of her career, but relationally, she just can't seem to really get out her own way, it seems. And she has resulted in, you know, um, going through, I think, in vitro or something in terms of being able to have her own child. She, she signed up to be a single mother without the relationship part of it. That's we going, we going to get to all of that. And again, that's one of the outcomes of being a boss babe. That's one of the outcomes, right? And, um, we're going to watch that and see, uh, what you all think. And again, everybody that's currently in the chat, we have about 800 people concurrently watching. So guys, if you, if you are currently watching and have not liked, please like. Please send this to at least one, two, or even three people. And please make sure that you're following everybody that you see on the screen, especially on YouTube and or Facebook.
Oh, and last but not least, I meant to say this because I know that y'all mentioned, um, ladies who have have have aged gracefully in a classy way. My wife knows this. Felicia Rashad, better not walk up on me. I'm gonna fall apart. You hear me? I'm gonna fall. My wife knows it right now. She ain't got a chance if Felicia Rashad walks ac. When you grew up and you watch these certain ladies and you seen how like knowing that she's been in and out of a couple marriages, knowing how she's carried herself and knowing I don't know nothing about any of these relationships and I don't know if she even has negative views about men. That's sufficient because that shows me like, okay, she has an ability to maintain tact, class, dignity, carries herself well. Let's not forget about a few years ago when they was coming at her or Mon'nique when they were trying to explain to the ladies, hey ladies, how you carrying yourself, how you're presenting yourself, how you're behaving, how you're dressing. You might want to, they I'll never forgive her. Forgive them for attacking her and attacking Kevin Simmons. Those my two nos. But Felicia Rashad >> to, uh, I don't know, position ourselves so that we can be in our divinity, so we can have our crowns right, how we can create and not build when some of us quite frankly feel that the men that are available to us, and I'm talking about across the color spectrum, across the age spectrum, trust me, I've done them all, um, they are not positioned to protect nor provide because of some of the statistics >> we ain't going to skip over that. We believe her too. Continue. >> They're not earning the incomes. They're not having the resources. And some of them are not even showing up in the leadership.
>> Would you date a bus driver?
>> You would you date?
>> If he owns the bus?
>> If he owns it, if he owns the bus?
>> That's a problem. That's a problem. That's a problem because one of the main, um, pushbacks that I got, you know, in the wake of Bus Driver Gate being a woman in my early 40s is, well, especially how dare you, you old [ __ ] you know. Um, seriously, seriously. Um, cuz you definitely don't get no say because you've hit the wall.
>> So, how do you choose then?
>> The other half of your child? Like, how do you?
>> Oh, the donor.
>> Yes.
>> Yeah. Let's get to the tea. So, um, with a lot of consideration and, uh, specificity, you know. No, I can be hyper controlling. I'm okay with that. I'm I'm okay. No, I'm okay. So, part of part of all this self-assuredness and and and outspokenness is also knowing one's flaws.
>> This is not about being perfect, man. Y'all can't tell me [ __ ] not you ladies, but y'all the the people, the ethos, can't tell me [ __ ] about myself. Y'all can't talk to me about hitting walls. Y'all can't talk to me about, um, being controlling. Y'all can't talk to me about not wanting to compromise. I I don't, I don't. I love the exclusive executive decision-making I get as a solo parent.
>> You chose to have your daughter Liberty, um, by yourself, uh, via IVF, um, with donor sperm.
>> Yes, I did. I realized that I didn't need, this is my story, a man to save me in some of the ways that I think I still had some fantasy around being saved.
>> Okay, if we can talk very plainly.
>> That's, yes.
>> And like a lot of black women, especially the ambitious and powerful and and successful ones, we understandably operate in a lot of masculine posture.
>> Sure.
>> Um, and without going into the red pill of it all, um, because that's a bunch of [ __ ]
>> Right. Masculine energy, feminine energy, the whole. Yeah. But let's honor the fact that when you have not had anyone, often male or female, show up for you in your entire existence in ways that made you feel safe, in ways that made you feel, um, that there was enough of anything, love, resources, protection, fill in the blank.
>> You,
>> You do embody that for yourself. And you are the protector and the provider and the nurturer and the caregiver, and all of that is lovely, but then it's really difficult to let someone do for you.
>> Um, and then I started to really feel like, I'm the man that I've been trying to wait to save me. It really was that for me.
I'mma say this real quick. Uh, the Ebony Golden Girls that's that's getting up and saying all this this foolishness. There was something that she said. I didn't catch it until we watched it just now. Did y'all notice she said the mistake that she made in the past when it came to dealing with men who had children, and then what she do? Become a single mother on purpose. The way the goalposts move to protect their ego is astounding to me. The mistake was, according to her, I don't want to deal with men who are bringing children from other situationships, and she went and brought Anita, then Maggie, then Crimson. Tell me, go ahead, go ahead, y'all.
So, you know, I find the IVF conversation kind of problematic, and I have been getting a lot of flack for this on a personal level, um, in the space. Um, I don't like the idea of the monetization of babies.
>> That is very distasteful to me. And I also don't like the idea of robbing a child of their biological father and in the in the gay community, biological mother. That is very problematic to me.
>> You're saying fathers and mothers are optional?
>> Yep. And I have been very anti-ceracy, anti-IVF. I've been taking a lot of hits lately.
>> But I M I cannot support it. I cannot support it. And and I'm not saying, you know, a woman and a man coming together and creating a child out of wedlock, you know, is any better.
>> But these people are making a very conscious decision to say exactly what you just said, that the father's role is not important or the mother's role is not important. And to say you don't need a man, well, you need something a man produces, which is sperm. If there were no men on the planet, life would cease to exist.
>> So, it's again that haughty, prideful spirit. And, you know, that's kind of where women are now that they have access to IVF and they have access to sperm banks and they have access to their own money. Of course, they're going to say things like, "I don't need a man." But again, if there were no men to produce sperm, then what would you have?
So, you know, Ebony is apparently she's currently dating. That's the latest on her. She's she's made some comments about how she's dating and people are asking her, "Okay, well, how are you doing this as a single mom?" And oh, it's great because now, you know, I'm hand-choosing someone to be a father figure to my child, and, you know, I'm I'm pickier than ever.
>> It, it just, it goes from bad to worse.
>> She literally said, "I don't want to deal with a single parent."
>> And she became one. She became one.
>> Without a father to co-parent with so that the next man that comes in has to sign up to do the very thing she said was a mistake and she doesn't want to do. Her top.
>> Right.
>> Uh, uh, Maggie, go ahead, go ahead.
>> These are precisely the women in 10 years time will be howling and crying how hard it is to do alone. I am telling you this will not end well for her. And especially professional women, young women, hear me, but professional women, that big boss attitude that you may carry in work is going to hurt you in your relationship options. When that child, I don't know how young her child is now, when she becomes a teenager and starts sassing you, sneaking people into the house, or a boy starts poking, uh, punching holes in the wall and doing all the things that, uh, kids do, you're going to wish you had a father that you had a good relationship with that you could call. I agree. The best relationship is marriage under one roof. That's how children come to be. That's how it was designed. And it's that way for a reason. We get all of these options to do it our way. And it doesn't end well.
One thing that I want to say, um, welcome to Spinsterville. We're going to see a lot. When you said golden girls, I'm you're going to start seeing a lot of these women that will end up compound living or continuing to cry on about their dating choices. Nobody is interested in the circular dating patterns of a mature woman. It is not. Nobody cares. Why, why are you bringing this to the forefront? But for me, uh, when she said, "I know I'm controlling. You don't have to tell me anything about me. You don't get to this big age and nobody has given you feedback of power. Uh, as a parent, remember that. Remember when your kid goes to school and it's, you know, Father's Day is coming up or, you know, grandparents breakfast or any of these things that are just part of the legacy that we create. And how incredibly selfish of you. How incredibly selfish of you to do what you want and say, "Everybody else can kick rocks. This is what I want to do and when I want to do it." And she's damaging the the child that she is creating because all of us are created with a certain hole in our heart for where we come from. And I don't care what anybody says, we get our identity from our fathers. That's how it is passed down. So you have a child now who's going to be going out into the world, are you my dad? Are you my dad? Is that him? Well, he kind of looks like me. That's tragic to me and shameful. Ladies, you are not entitled to, uh, motherhood. You are not entitled to just snap your fingers because you have resources and you can go to the sperm bank. I think IVF if used, and I know people in my extended family who are married and who had trouble conceiving after multiple attempts and together they went and were able to use husband's sperm and mom's egg with the help of technology and have their own kids. I know people have issues about that, but again, this was a last resort for a married couple for them to create their family and for her to just say, "You know what? I'm going to do it my way." Okay, remember that.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Um, it's, it's astound. And again, all these ladies were attractive. And rather than doubling down about the the sides of you that made you less attractive and less able to work well with men, look at her. Beautiful, smart, educated, does very well financially. Well, we don't really, personally, I don't really care about that [ __ ] but it means nothing if your attitude isn't right. If your mouth is is out is out of is out of order. And the strangest thing to see is how is it that you can see your outcomes having led to what you wanted historically. You can acknowledge and say out loud what the problem is on your end and you still say there's nothing to change. This level, the sole reason why Ebony can talk and act the way that she does is two reasons: because she has enough money and because she has enough visibility to where she'll get more options than the average woman that looks like her stuck in her whatever bubble as a normal average woman. There are countless women that look like Ebony K. Williams and are also having a tough time, but they're not their suitors aren't millionaires and high-profile lawyers. Their suitors are co-workers and guys in their respective circle and the people that go to their church. The Hollywood dynamic, the the social media influencer dynamic, it's extended what the wall looks like for these women. So that's why I think they can hold on to this delusion a little bit longer than maybe the average woman. It's because they have an increased visibility that other women that look like them and are aging like them do not have. That's the sole reason why I think this is even a thing.
And and Crimson, you kind of alluded to it. The wall is actually not, and I'm gonna say this, and then Crimson, I want you to come in. The wall is not actually about whether or not women are going to accept it, let alone people. The the wall is not about whether you personally accept it or not. That's not what the wall is. It is about the changes of what happens in your social and relational options in terms of approachability, in terms of of how much easier versus how much more difficult things are. It's the adjustment of the market around you, around you, and to you, and in response to you. That is the wall. That's it. And and the wild part listening to them is they think that the wall is a gendered thing. It's not. There's men that have Adrien Broner, the boxer. He just was trending, beer belly, gut, people saying he lost all his money. He don't look anything close to what he was looking like in his prime. People say he fell off. They say this about rappers. They say this about athletes. They say this about, you name it. People get judged for what value they can bring in particular spaces and markets. Men can fall off. Women can fall off. People fall off. Celebrities fall off. It happens all the time to everybody. The wall is just not the same for all of us.
The strangest thing for me, and and Crimson, I want you to come in, is there's an aspect to all these ladies that talk this way and talk about, I don't have time for this, or I want them younger, or they got to do this or do that. I'm going to let all the women that's hyping this stuff up and saying it's on our terms and we run the show and everything. I'm going to let y'all in on a on a secret. The reason why a lot of these ladies are still able to talk this way is because it's true that there is a percentage of men that actually loves women that hit the wall. Love it. They love it because they know that there's less that they have to bring now than they would have had to 10 or 15, 20 years ago. We love it. You think if I wasn't doing this content stuff and wasn't married, I wouldn't have a shot with some of the women that that that pop up on these platforms? You crazy. We love. I can get access to Melissa Ford on a discount. Back in the day, how much would I had to drop to try to be able to stand out and be able? How much would I have to impress her to take her on trips? And do you think guys have to go through these lengths to deal with 50 plus year old women? Come on, fellas. Ladies, there are men that love dealing with women that have quote unquote hit the wall because they know that you've lost the leverage to demand more. That's why you say, "I'm going to maintain my own and we can have separate living arrangements." Guys going to sign up for. Yep. And I don't, and you don't want marriage and you don't want kids, and you just only need me on the weekend. Sign me up. Guys actually love guys who have no legitimate long-term serious intentions for women love the because now when I come back in the store, everything's on clearance. The things I couldn't get before that was on that was on the top shelf, that was so hard, and there was a line around the corner. Now I can walk in. There's there's one person in line. Everything's on the clearance rack. Now's the time. Now's my opportunity to get my Hollywood beauty. Now's my time 20 years later to get my video vixen. It's e. We the men that think this way, we would love women that are on the wall because now it's easier than dealing with her when she was 25. That's the truth. Crimson, come on. Come on, Crimson. Bring us more.
>> Couple of things. I don't think women like Ebony Kay understand the level of selfishness in her decision to have a child in the way in which she did it. The same attributes that made you unsustainable as a wife will make you also a bad mother. And she don't get that part. M
>> Being too controlling, not able to do make any changes, alterations, adjustments, or see things in any different way while trying to raise a child that's going to challenge all of that. And then you done sat here and got old. By the time that baby get 20, you'll be 60. And you setting them little old ways and you think you going to be a good mama to a girl who will be exploring her womanhood as she grow up and you did not do the due diligence for all your so-called intelligence. You were too dumb to give her a daddy that would give her the identity, just like Miss Maggie said, that give her the love of a man, the first love of a man that don't want nothing from her but respect. I all that daddy want is respect. She will be spend her rest of her little life making every single mistake possible with a man looking for, cuz she going to have daddy issues.
>> And probably trying to get away from you cuz you've been too controlling and domineering over her. So she going to rebel and you, you just going to have a time with that young, with that little girl. Hopefully she'll be all right, but we don't know cuz you silly. You done set her back 10 spaces. You think you putting her before? You done set that girl so far by a ball, it's not even funny. I'mma add something else to this conversation as well for young ladies as a cautionary tale. Lori Harvey.
>> Lori Harvey almost 30. She 29. She wasted her 20s. She wasted them. Lori Harvey is at a point now where she gonna have to settle.
>> For some man.
>> You think so already?
>> She already there.
>> You already wasted. The 20s they gone. Them 20s gone, baby. That that that life change after 30, baby. That change. That change. Her still being cute.
>> Yeah. Outside of an athlete.
>> I don't know. Like when when you get with the guys that's at the that's headlining major shows and you don't work with them,
>> Everything else is kind of gonna be a step down after that.
>> Lori Harvey done hit the wall pretty much because what do she even do? Nothing. What she known for hopping from pole to pole and fumbling like Jordan. That is what she is known for. She
>> But for guys with self-respect, for guys with self-respect, I always thought when I found out you dated that you was dealing with a a guy and his son.
>> Right. So I mean, so this, this is the mentality. But even beyond that,
>> The wall is when decisions start getting made for you.
>> And they're not in your favor. The wall is when you start losing control and life just start making the decision. The decision just get made for you. You you dillydally too long and so now things are just the way that they are and you can't change it. You no longer have the opportunity to change the course of different things. Can Lori Harvey get married to a man? Yes. But it will not be the man that she want. That's the key. It'll be some man that she just have to, you know what? I don't want to get old and by myself. Let me go on ahead and deal with this one right here. He all right. That's that's the wall.
>> And y'all see, y'all think the wall just hit you at 50, 60 years old. No, it don't. If you make bad decisions, see, the wall hit them in their 20s. They just didn't see it. They just didn't see it. It life had to happen a little bit more so they could see the result of having actually hit that wall. Ladies, you cannot. The one thing that Ebony said that that, um, she said was the truth. I have become the man that I wanted by recognizing that she's too difficult to be in a relationship. But that was, please don't mistake that for accountability.
>> She wasn't taking accountability. She was just stating a fact.
>> That was observable. An observable fact. That's like saying the sky blue or something. Water wet. We know you in your own way. We know we know you are in your own way. That's why you're in the situation that you're in. That's why Melissa's in the situation that she is in. That that so-called beauty and all of that. It is very, it's about that big. It's so limited. Stop thinking that you have more time on the clock than you have. Okay? You do not have the time you think. The men that are paying attention to you at 22 will be nowhere to be found at 38. They are not there. They don't want you. They don't like you anymore. You will be just a just a plaything. You turn into a plaything. Men stop taking you serious because what, what was wrong with you? Why didn't you get nobody? What's going on with you? They're gonna assume that you were problematic, and you were. And you were. This is all cope.
The one last thing that I say, >> please don't be fooled by the bravado that these women are speaking with because they're simultaneously telling you how miserable they are. That that's what they tell, you know. And I didn't just make them decisions. And you know, I got my dogs and it all of that what they quote unquote have trying to list the things that they have while simultaneously telling y'all,
>> And and this is for the ladies. Y'all need to listen underneath the the so-called, you know, we was so good and we we did our thing and you know, I just made the decision to do. No, they did not make the decision to be where they are. Had they to do it over again, they would have gone back and not fumbled that guy. Because just like Sherry says, it's always one. They would have went back and not fumbled that guy and been with that man had they understood the reality that was waiting on them that they would be in their 40s, 50s, 60s laying up in the bed twiddling their toe with a laptop next to them in that bed that cannot hold them and when they think about having sex, they just get turned off. That's why Melissa said what she said because it's so empty. These men don't care nothing about me. I don't really like them. I don't really want them touching me because she's been touched so much without intention.
>> Jesus.
>> She empty. She don't want to feel empty no more. That empties a woman.
>> It empties us when when we have too many men, too many empty, useless, frivolous connections.
>> Yeah. It's so much more to say, but I'm gonna be quiet.
>> I appreciate y'all. Uh, because it reminds me that I'm not crazy when it comes to what I'm observing and how I'm hearing and seeing this stuff. It's so much of it is cope. I I do actually believe a lot of ladies who get to that point do have a level of acceptance.
>> Um, because you have to, not because they wanted to. And Crimson, you're right. A lot of them, if they could go back in time, they would have done some things differently. They would they wouldn't have slept with as many guys as they did. They wouldn't have let as many men touch them. There were relationships that they wouldn't have entered into. There's ones that they would have tried to make work. And there's guys that they passed on that they absolutely would have potentially like went back on, like absolutely he was quote unquote the one.
>> Um, and I'll say this, you know, um, as a young, you still a younger guy. Um, there were women when I was single at different points from my early 20s till 30 that approached me about donating sperm. And the single solitary reason for why, well, a, I thank God I thought about it before I said, you know, before I declined.
>> The number one reason outside of because it would have been a bad idea of why I wouldn't have done that or had a child with them was because of their behavior and their attitude. There were women who didn't even have a relationship with me that have asked about me donating at different points and just in interactions with them, the little that I knew or even knowing them very well. I was like, the last thing I would do is have a child with you via the doctor's office or naturally. Like a lot of women, beautiful, beautiful women, under no circumstances. And seeing women that had this golden ticket have to get to a place or point where they say, "Well, I never really wanted kids. I didn't want a family. I didn't want this. I didn't want that." Listen, some of y'all that may be the case, but we don't believe it with the majority of you. And I, and that's, and the message that you're saying when you keep trying to say, "I'm so happy and I'm so, this is," you're giving half information. You're not giving the other side of what led you to being as bitter as Joy Taylor, what led you to making the comments like Ebony is, which is, I'm not changing, and the guy that comes with me now has to deal with a single mother. Like that's, that's the options of what you're presenting out in the market. And I appreciate y'all.
So, real quick, before we wrap things up, super chats. Uh, Hback, thank you for the $5. Don't worry, Gen Z men will use these women accordingly. Either our female counterparts can get on board or get left behind. No excuses. We have DBS. Thank you for the $5. We got to do general discussion on women that screwed their way up the ladder, allegedly. Examples include, Oh, okay. Okay. Uh, uh, I'm going, you know what? Let me I'm going to have to do a little research on that because that's a tough one when it comes to allegations and accusations, but there has been some ladies who things have come out about their previous histories when they've they've used it, they've used their beauty and sex to get access to certain things. Um, thank you for that. Uh, Dr. Vince, what's going on, brother? Thank you for the $9.99. Jeff, I am back from the Philippines. My fiance said the only thing she wants to do in life is to be a good wife and a good mother. Thank you very much for what you're doing, ladies and gentlemen. Appreciate you, brother. Who else we got? Uh, Aaron, member for 47 months from somebody's platform. Shout out to her. What's going on, ma'am? Uh, Eugene, thank you for the $5. These are examples of how one's ugly internal can override her beautiful external. Absolutely. Last few people. JRock, thank you for the $5. Joy Taylor was listed in a lawsuit, lawsuit involving Fox Sports. She planned to meet to the vice president of Fox Sports and she didn't get what she wanted. I have read those reports and or, um, at least the quotes in relation to the text messages. Insane. Um, cue the old one. Thank you for the $2. May the odds be ever in your favor. The wall games. Oh, the wall games is crazy work. Appreciate you for that. Glorious Love, thank you for the $1.99. That promiscuous wall is silent and swift. Um, High Tolerance, thank you for the $19.89. After playing the role of the merry-go-round, slip and slide, Ferris wheel, and the roller coaster, these women might as well capitalize and open up a theme park. My God, y'all not playing today. And the HVAC again, another $2. Useful to the group whether y'all like it or not. And then last but not least, 37 or 375 Army, thank you for the $10. Solid conversation. Thank you to the panel. So everybody, thank y'all for supporting again another episode of the ladies panel. This has been phenomenal. We're going to keep building, keep expanding, and let us know in the chat if y'all like the conversation. And also what y'all think about the intro because, you know, as I'm, you know, doing some work, we always trying to make certain improvements. Thank you ladies for coming through. I'm going see y'all next week on the other side. Everybody that's watching, have a good evening, and we'll talk to y'all soon. Peace. Yeah.