The Ultimate Advantage - TONY ROBBINS

[Music] Welcome. How is everybody doing today? Come on. I can't hear you. All right. Whatever the reason you're here, just trust you are in the right place. You are in the right place.

Now, I got a question for you. Just imagine for a moment you got up this morning. You got up this morning and in your room was God, source, spirit, higher power, mother earth, whatever it is you believe. And if you don't believe in anything spiritual, maybe it's just a dear, trusted friend that you that you know, somebody's opinion that you really, really appreciate. And they said to you, "You're going to have an opportunity today to make a decision that can change the rest of your life. A decision that when you make this decision, your life can be completely different, better than you ever imagined it being possible."

Now, let me ask you, if that opportunity were presented to you, what would you say? Would you be interested? Yes. Would you be leaning in and saying like, "Okay, when are you going to share it with me? Share it with me right now." Well, that's the opportunity that you have today. That's the opportunity you are being presented with today. It's an opportunity to choose to live in a beautiful state, no matter what. No matter what. And what's so great is it starts and it ends with just a simple decision. It's just a simple decision.

Tony and Sage wanted to share this with all of you because there is so much stuff going on in the world right now today. Um, and there are all kinds of opportunities to not be in a beautiful state, to be in what we're going to talk about later on as a suffering state. And and this is an opportunity to apply this immediately. And so whether you've been through some of this before with Tony as a as a platinum partner or whether this is your first time, I encourage each and every one of you to participate, to engage as if this was the first time, the very first time you've been exposed to this because this is a decision.

It was, I think it was 2015 when Tony first got turned on to Beautiful State and I was having a conversation with him and he said to me, he said, "You know, Ted, I just made the most important decision I've ever made in my entire life." I've known Tony for 27 years and he's done a lot of amazing things. And when that man tells me he made a decision that was the most important decision he's ever made in his life, you better believe I was listening because I wanted to hear what he had to say. You know, success leaves clues. Tony's got a tremendous amount of success. And so, we want to make sure that we are showing up at our absolute best.

So, you know, whether you've heard this before, whether you've not, it's one thing to understand things intellectually, but it's a whole different game to own it, to own it in our being. And for those of you that are platinum partners, you know that there's three levels of mastery. There's the cognitive level, which is just the thinking part. I understand the logic behind this. There is the emotional part. That is the feeling part. And then there is the physical mastery, which is I own it. I do it. This is my identity. And for everybody, we're going to get at least to the emotional level of mastery. At least to the emotional level of mastery. And I'm sure all the platinum partners and a lot of the guests, maybe all of the guests, you're going to be able to get yourself to physical mastery. You're going to be able to get yourself to a place where you walk away and you say, "I own this. This is who I am. This is a commitment that I am taking on and I am going to live it every single day of my life from this day forward to choose to live in a beautiful state and to end suffering in my life."

Now, we got some rules of engagement. One of the things that Tony says is motion creates emotion. Motion creates emotion. So when we talk about going into a peak state, we're going to be using our bodies. We're going to be jumping. We're going to be screaming. We're going to be dancing because motion creates emotion. And what we're looking to do is to get to at least the emotional level of mastery, to get an idea of what a a peak state is. I know I'm sure there's all kinds of sports fans out there. I'm a big football fan. In fact, I'm one of the owners of the Green Bay Packers, the only publicly owned uh sports team in the US. And um, you know, the Packers have been to the Super Bowl a number of times. And when the Packers win the Super Bowl, man, I go crazy. All right? And that's that's a form of a peak state. You know, maybe if you have kids and you know, your kid has just learned how to walk, you may go crazy and celebrate and high-five your wife or your husband and hug them and hug your kid and kiss them. That's another peak state. There's no such thing as just one peak state. There's all kinds of it, but it's about bringing emotion and energy and sound to whatever it is you're doing. So, I can't actually really do a decent uh peak state sitting in my seat.

[Music] automatic from a movie cinematic [Music] beauty tonight. All right, so that was a warm-up. That's a warm-up, but you're going to have lots more opportunities. And that thing I did at the end, that's what Tony calls a wall clap. That's how he gets people to stop cheering because you're going to be going crazy. So remember to bring your emotion, to be in a peak state, to play full out.

And the the next thing that uh we have as far as rules of engagement is there's a difference between active and passive learning. Now, you don't need to raise your hands because I'm sure almost everybody at some point in their life has either been to a business seminar or a big classroom class of, you know, two, 300 people at a university perhaps. And most times, not all the time, but most times. Here's here's the learning mode. Yeah. Oh. Oh, maybe I'll take a note here. Yeah. When's coffee break? When don't we uh when are we going to, you know? Yeah. When are we going to do something else? Huh? Okay. That's what's known as passive learning. We're not doing passive learning today, people. We're not doing passive learning. We are doing active learning. So, that means we're sitting on the edge of our chairs. One of the things we're going to be showing a few videos during this training and Tony's gonna, you know, say raise your hand. Raise your hand. Just your real hand. So, you're moving your body. Raise your hand. Say yes. Say yes. If he asks a question, shout out an answer. If your dog's there, your kids there, it makes no difference. But be part of the active learning because you'll learn at a much deeper level because it'll go immediately from the intellectual level to the emotional level where you feel it and then it's just a small distance from the emotional mastery to the physical mastery. And then play full out. That's really what we've been talking about so far.

Now, for those of you who have not seen Tony live, Tony um sometimes uses colorful language. Uh and I want to warn you um and and uh there's many forms of the colorful language that Tony will use, but f-bombs are one of the forms. And I want to mention this upfront, particularly for those who have never seen Tony. It's not because he likes to swear and use the f-word, but it's it's a tool, a language tool to jolt people's systems, to get them to listen, to get them to hear in ways that they wouldn't if he was just yammering on, you know, back and forth talking. And so he will, you know, throw in a lot of colorful language. So, if you have young kids that haven't uh been exposed to that or you don't want them exposed to that, then I you might want to consider, you know, uh having them leave the room, go do something else. Um if if they are have been exposed to it, this training is great for everybody. It's great for everybody.

All right, are we getting ready to go? So, you know what we're going to do? And I can't see you. So, if you want to just do a half-ass job and uh and and stay in the passive learning mode, that's your call. I certainly wouldn't suggest it, particularly knowing that you are going to be offered an opportunity to transform your life today. All right. So, before we roll the video, we are going to go into a peak state. Just act crazy. Dance, scream, shout, jump up and down. We're going to do it for three seconds and then we're gonna roll the video and you want to be taking notes like you're going to teach this to people you love because at the end of the day, trust me, you are going to want to be teaching this to people you love. So, everybody on the on the count of three, on the count of three, here we go. Ready? One, two, three.

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So, let's talk about why you're here and why you're even in platinum. How many of you joined platinum? For a variety of reasons. But if I was going to give you the gross generalization, it would be as great as your life is, you want an even more extraordinary life and you thought this could add some skills, experiences that would take it to another level. If you agree, say "I."

In fact, what we all have in common, we have people here from 21 countries or 22, I guess, and a couple languages being translated. People with every kind of background, I'll answer your question in a moment, ma'am. Background, experience. But what we have in common is all of us want more. Who's with me on that? Say, "I."

And so, normally when I'm trying to explain to someone what is an extraordinary quality of life, it's different for everybody, right? Really, an extraordinary life is life on whose terms for you? And so, everybody in this room has a different model of the world of what that would look like. What would be an even more magnificent life? What would be an even more extraordinary life? But even when I go to the UBW now, I've started to chunk up higher to like the 30,000 foot level. And instead of saying you want to change your body or you want to change your business or you want to make more money, I start out with everybody saying, "How many agree what you want is a greater quality of life?" Everybody raise their hand. And then I say there's only two master skills to do this. And I want to remind you of those two skills because it's still the two skills for life.

What's the first master skill to having an extraordinary life? Do you remember? It's the science of achievement. If you're going to have an extraordinary life, one of the master skills for actually creating that life is mastering this. Mastering the ability to take what you envision and make it real. And there's a science to it, isn't there? And every one of you in this room wouldn't have got to this room way before Tony Robbins unless some part of you had mastered a certain amount of this where you'd been able to take things most people just think about and you've actually manifested it. How many got some things in your life that once seemed difficult or impossible and you're proud as hell that they're in your life today and you made it happen? Say, "I."

So, there's a science to achievement. There's a science to, for example, money. I just spent four years, as most of you know, interviewing 50 of the smartest people on the planet financially. I learned more than I ever imagined. I got a PhD in finance from the people that control the world economy. And they're all people that were not part of the Lucky Sperm Club. I didn't interview anybody that got it from their family by birthright. I did it with people that all started with nothing. And I began to see there's common patterns. And once you know what those patterns are, I don't care if you're young or old. I don't care what your color is. I don't care what your gender is. I don't care what country you're from. If you understand the science of building wealth, you can have abundance financially. If you violate those rules, either because you're ignorant to them or because you just don't apply them, you're going to have financial stress.

There's a science to the body. Everyone here is biochemically different. But there's certain fundamental rules, laws that if you violate them, you're going to have a lack of energy. If you really violate them, you're going to have disease in the body. That's what it means, disease. It comes from violating those rules. If you align with the rules of achievement around the body, you'll have an abundance of energy. You'll feel strong. You'll have an extraordinary body and the extraordinary energy that comes with it. So, the science of achievement is something most of you are quite obsessed by or you wouldn't get to a room like this.

But there's a second master skill to have an extraordinary life. And that second skill is the art of fulfillment. And I'm bringing back this pattern that you know so we can take the pattern deeper. When I talk about the art of fulfillment, what I explain to people always is I didn't say science of fulfillment. Why not? Because it's different for everyone. Just like art, what one person thinks is beautiful, somebody else might think is ugly. The best example I always use is my buddy Steve Wynn because I'll never forget was like two years ago when he called me up on the phone and says, "I have been pursuing this painting for 15 years and I finally outbid this guy at this auction and it's my birthday and I want you to come over. I want you to see this painting, Tony. It is breathtaking. I paid $80 million for this painting. 80 million." And I remember going over and seeing what's called a Rothko. That's it. That's what he paid $80 million for. And I said, "Steve, I'm confused." I said, "That looks like a red square to me." He goes, "No, Tony, don't you see all the textures in it?" Yeah. I go, "Dark red and light red. That's what I see. I said, "Give me some paint and 50 bucks and I promise I can duplicate this shit." He did not like that response. He goes, "No, you have to know the story. The man, he committed suicide." Oh, he killed himself so it's worth 80 million. No, but like he was such an expression. I said, "Are you kidding me?" But see, the truth is, in a world where people are competing with significance, when you already own all the homes you're going to ever own, you own hotels and you own the biggest jets, what else are you going to do with your money but get something nobody else has, even if it's stupid? These people compete to say, "I outbid you. I own this thing. What good is money just in the bank? I don't get to enjoy it." He goes, "I get to put that on the wall and enjoy it."

Now, Steve, one of my dearest friends, he's nearly blind, clearly, but ladies, he can spot a beautiful woman from a 100 yards away. I don't know how he can do it. He literally when I come to see him, he will grab mine or or Sage's arm. Grab her arm and he always grabs your arm. "Hey, how's it going, buddy?" And he never talks about it. We all know what that means. It means walk with me. And that's how we guide him around. That's how blind he really is. Right? 80 million. And you know what's beautiful? He's clearly more sophisticated than I am or you are because he's getting 80 million worth of enjoyment out of that. And some of you are not getting an enjoyment of what you already have that probably is more beautiful than that, including your relationship. So if you want to know what's beautiful, as many people there are on Earth, it's an art because everyone has a different view. If you want to know what God loves, the universe loves, go to the forest and see it. It's called massive diversity. It isn't a science. It's an art. But that art unmastered will create an ugly life. An ugly life. And the phrase I use most often that I hope you've heard me say and you take it in once again, maybe deeper, is success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.

And the best example that I give in recent months about this struck me one day. I saw that a year ago, I guess it's been a year and two months now, but it was on the anniversary that it happened. And I realized, wow, it's been one year since we lost the national treasure here in the United States, Robin Williams. In fact, he's an international treasure. How many of you love this man? Raise your hand. Keep your hands nice and high if you really loved him. Look, I want you to look around the room. 21 countries, 99% of people are raising their hand. How many of you, this man brought you tremendous joy? And because he brought so much joy to you, you felt an affinity with him even though you never knew him. I met him once. I did a TED talk back in 2006 and it was right the next day was my birthday and we went to this restaurant. Much people took me out of this restaurant for my birthday. And he showed up and jumped on a table and started singing happy birthday to me as an old Russian woman, as a Jewish man, as a Martian. In the middle of the singing, he kept changing personalities in this thing. It was the most hysterical thing you ever saw in your life. And he came and gave me a big hug and high-five and said, "You're a beautiful soul." And I never saw him again or talked to him again. And when I found out how he died, I can't even tell you because think about it. Here's a guy that mastered the science of achievement. Did he not? Did he take what he envisioned and make it real? Yes or no? Once, twice, or his whole life? What was his goal? He wanted to make people laugh. He wanted to find a way to make anyone laugh? Did he become successful at that? Yes or no? He wanted his own TV show at a time when nothing like this was happening. Did he get it? He wanted the number one show. Did he achieve that? He decided he wanted to make movies. He wanted to be an actor. Did he do that? He decided he wanted to have an Academy Award for not being funny, for drama. Did he achieve that? He wanted a beautiful family. Did he achieve that? He wanted to be wealthy beyond his wildest dreams financially. Did he achieve that? He wanted beautiful children. Did he achieve that? And he hung himself. That's the cost of achievement without fulfillment. He made everyone feel good except whom? And by the way, his widow just recently went around this last week or two and did a bunch of media and said he had dementia. That's why he took his life. And if you watched her incongruity in her body as she communicated, she's trying to keep the ideal alive and saying it wasn't he was so unhappy with me and the family. Maybe he had dementia, but he had alcohol and drug problems his entire adult life because he was always suffering. So perhaps he really died of dementia in the end. But did he suffer for a lifetime? Yes or no? The man who made everyone else feel alive was not alive while he was here and then killed himself. You couldn't find a better example. A better example of someone who made everyone else feel good. Every life is a warning or an example. Which one is your life going to be? We can decide. And if our life has been a warning, we could change to an example. How fast, my friends? How fast? And if we're an example, we can become a better example. But more importantly, the example. How about enjoying your life fully, completely? Because if there's anything I've figured out in the last year or two in my life, if you can't find ecstasy in this moment, right now, more of something else is not going to give it to you either. You got to find the ecstasy right now. You got to find the joy right now. You got to find the love right now. Not months ago, not weeks ago, not in the future. Now. This is the whole game of life. And life is way too short not to enjoy this. And who's in control of whether we enjoy it or not? That's right. But most of us have not exerted that control. And so we suffer. We suffer over the littlest things that we make so big in our heads. And no amount of money will end your suffering, my friends. I get the calls from multi-billionaires and they come want me to come in and turn around something in their company. They want me to turn around something in their business, their financial trading. And when I come to them, I always see I deliver what they want, but I watch for what they need. And there's never been a time where what they really needed more was to feel alive in this moment again, to feel loved once again, to feel grateful once again. Not just in the moment, all the time. And we're capable of it. But if we don't physically make a decision how we're going to live, then we'll show up like everybody else. Because the human mind is not going to make you happy. This brain of yours won't do it. You have to direct it. And there's no worse fate than to achieve everything and not be fulfilled. How many have had the days where you achieved this huge goal and your brain always wanted it and you got it and then your brain went, "Is this all there is?" Who's been there? It's the worst experience. It's worse than failing, isn't it? Because most of you are achievers. So failure never stops you. You just look at it as a little bump in the road. I'll try something. What? But when you succeed and you fail. When you succeed and you're not fulfilled, that's scary as hell.

So, there's nothing your partner will change inside themselves that's going to give you lasting joy. What will give you lasting joy is stopping having expectations of your partner to be a certain way. What will give you lasting joy is when you trade your expectations for appreciation. Whenever you expect something, you will be disappointed. Whenever you appreciate what's already there, you're alive. It's the whole game. And more or different won't get you what you think it will. Might feel that way for the moment because there's some variety, but you miss out on something so much deeper.

But if you're suffering about other things like your business, even if it's succeeding at a higher level or getting it all done or making it all happen and all these stresses are in you, then many of you to try to end your suffering will drink. By the way, I'll tell you right now, if you drink alcohol consistently, intensely, your relationship will be messed up. I'm not making a judgment. I'm just telling you, I've dealt with too many people because in that altered state, people say and do things they would never do when they're conscious. And being unconscious in a relationship guarantees pain. It's not to say you can't drink and be entertained. I have zero judgment. Zero. Hopefully, you know me well enough to know that. But I know that if it's a pattern, it's going to destroy things. Who's experienced this in your life? Either you personally or someone else or your family members. Who's experienced the impact of this in a negative way? Raise your hand if you've seen it. So you can see this clearly is not my opinion. It's life.

But it's ironic. Culturally, most of us are managing suffering. And one way you can manage it is alcohol or drugs or work or throwing yourself into your kids. There's so many ways to manage suffering. But when you manage suffering, it's still there. It's just below the surface a little bit. You don't feel it fully. You feel it partially. And so the stress is still there. And you think that if I could just get my business to a certain level, if I could just make enough money, if I could just get my partner to do this, if they just like would not do this anymore, and it's a lie. It's you. It's your failure to enjoy. It's your failure to appreciate. It's your failure to learn. It's your failure to grow. It's your failure to give instead of focus on receiving. Because in the beginning of a relationship, most of you, the reason the relationship worked was you were not focused on what you were not getting. You were focused on what can I what will light them up. And because you were in a giving mode, you felt all that you gave. And when you start measuring, it's a transaction. They don't give me this. They don't give me that. The minute you measure, it's a transaction. It's no longer love. Because when you love someone, what will you do for them? What? What? And better than that, you love doing anything for them.

So, this is a really beautiful group of people. All of us in this room. Some of you I know really well. Some of you are brand new. Some have been with me a year and you hide out, but I still see you. And I want this to be the most valuable week of your life. I can't do that for you, but I can create it so you can do it for yourself because I have the answer for you. But to do it, we have to wake up.

The other day, I had a really neat experience. I like driving cars fast and I got to drive a Bugatti. Anybody here know what a Bugatti is? And I read about a Bugatti before and I really wasn't that interested in it. Who wants a Who would be stupid enough to buy a $3.5 million car? I mean, what the hell are you talking about? That's the dumbest thing. Where'd you get that picture? And so, who'd be dumb enough to do that? Right? But I was in Sun Valley and a friend of mine told me they were raising some money for this charity. And once a year in Sun Valley, Idaho, they have this place called Phantom Hill. And on Phantom Hill, it's this incredible area that goes through the mountains and they block it for three and a half or four miles and they let the fastest cars in the world come and basically compete to see who can go faster. And there's certain supercars that are faster than all the other cars. And Bugatti is the fastest car in the world and so it always wins. But everybody goes to see what their max is. They bring in test drivers. And if you donate enough money, you can usually go for a ride in one of these cars. And if you've done enough money and you have enough influence, you can say, "I want to be the driver of this car, not be driven in this car," which is what I chose to do.

And so, um, so I get in this Bugatti and first the guy drives with me and we drive like I've never driven anything in my life. And there's a reason this car is $3.5 million. It is the most magnificent machine I have ever seen in my life. It is should be. It's an aircraft. I have a Global Express. If you know airplanes, it's bigger than much bigger than a Gulf Stream. So, it's an intercontinental jet, weighs 50,000 pounds, has a 100-foot wingspan. I can go anywhere in the world non-stop, maximum on top. Flying from here to China, non-stop, from from California to China, non-stop. It's pretty amazing airplane. That airplane takes off at 130 miles an hour. I drove the Bugatti 233.8 miles an hour. It weighs 4,000 lbs, not 50,000. To stay on the ground. The engineering to keep it on the ground and not fly requires an unbelievable amount. Imagine 130 mph versus 230. And it's much lighter than 50,000 lbs. Like 10 times lighter. The brakes on it are the same brakes as on a Boeing 747. The air brakes to be able to stop, which is a helpful thing when you're going 233.8 miles an hour and that thing stops. It is the most magnificent thing to drive you could possibly imagine. There are no words to describe it. It is a piece of art, machinery and genius. It has 1,200 horsepower. When they tried to build a 1,000 horsepower engine, they blew up the factory and burned it to the ground. No one has been able to engineer a 1,000 horsepower. It's 1,200 horsepower. And the new one is 1,500 horsepower. And the new one will now go 262 miles an hour in case you need to get somewhere quick.

So, I get in this car and I drive this car. But what's really amazing about this car is if you know these supercars, you can go drive them on a track, but you can't drive them on a street. They're so squirrely. They're so hard to manage like a Ferrari, you know, like a Ferrari or something like that. You'll crash on the street unless you're unbelievably conscious. Some of you remember the movie series with those guys, those racing guys and the guy died. What was the movie series called? Fast and Furious. What was the guy's name? It died. Walker. Paul Walker. He was driving one of those cars on the street going really fast, but it's so squirrely. This car you can drive at 80 miles an hour just as well as 233. You can drive it 40 miles an hour and it's unbelievable. The sound of it is it is an experience like no other. It literally it goes twice the speed as my jet and doesn't take off. No, not yet. Yeah. I want the new one. They're not available yet. So, so it's like nothing else.

Now, why am I telling you this story? The average person drives every day and most of the time they're driving unconsciously. Who of you in this room has been driving your car 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 miles an hour, 80 miles an hour and something catches your attention and for a moment you start thinking about that and all of a sudden you think like, who the hell has been driving the car for the last 5 minutes? Who's ever had this experience? Like you're like, who the hell has been driving this car? Thank God someone's driving this car. Some part of me is driving this car 'cause my brain's been somewhere else. Who knows what I'm talking about here? And as a result, almost every day people die because most people drive unconsciously because they take it so casually.

But when you're driving 233.8 miles an hour, how present do you think you are to this moment? Let me just give you a clue. Even in a racing school where you're going like 150, 160, 140 mph, 'cause I've done that. If you're racing and you do a bad move or you don't turn quite as well, and your brain goes, "Oh, I messed that up or I shouldn't have done that." The millisecond of you thinking about what you failed at, you're out of control on the next turn. And if you've ever done this with racing, you know what I'm talking about. You will crash. You will be in deep shit or you're going to have to break and get off the course because you can't have even a moment of what happened a week ago, a month ago, even a minute ago.

In financial trading, the best traders on earth, most of you now know that I coached Paul Tudor Jones. He's not lost money in 22 years. There's no one in his category. I can tell you that. What I've learned with Paul is I can't let him even have a moment of the failure. He's got to have the failure, let it go, and now make a decision right now and anticipate what's coming. In driving that fast, you have to be in this moment and anticipating what's coming simultaneously. You can't have a moment of what just happened a millisecond ago or you'll crash. You have to be here and anticipate.

If you want that kind of life at that level, which I know you all do, the car. It's a metaphor. If you want a life at the highest level of quality, if you want your life to be a piece of art, if you want true magnificence, if you want to fly instead of being everybody else's dust, then you've got to wake up to this moment and you got to live in this moment and not your past. Because in that place there is no magnificence except memories that are useful. But if you're busy spending time there, you're not here and you're not anticipating what's coming. And it'll have a cumulative effect of screwing up your life. And in your relationship, there's no place more intense. And there's no place more rewarding than if you play this one consciously. Who's with me on this? Say, "I."

Consciously means we're flying. You and I together, we're going 233.8, baby. And we're doing what nobody does. And we're gonna have a level of pleasure and joy and a aliveness and living on the edge that most people never dream in their lifetime. But you can't do that doing what you're used to. If I was doing what I used to, I'd be driving a car 90 or 100 miles an hour, maybe 120. If I was doing what I'm used to, I'd stay on the ground. I wouldn't get up in the plane. The scary shit. If you're present with it and you're here and you decide to enjoy it, can you even enjoy the scary shit? Who's ever done this? Who's ever done something scary as hell and in the midst of it you were enjoying yourself? Who's done this before? Say, "I." In fact, how many of you seek out sometimes scary shit to enjoy? Let me see your hands. What's wrong with you? Nothing. You want to feel more alive. And there's no aliveness in certainty. There's comfort in certainty. There's no aliveness. There's no aliveness in a relationship where all there is is certainty. That's why people in the beginning have so much uncertainty and excitement and then they want to keep it. So they want to be certain it'll be here and they do things that makes it certain and then it loses all its spontaneity, pleasure, surprise, aliveness. And then they kill the very thing they wanted. Who's up for this level of life? Bugatti driving. Say, "I."

And for you, maybe it's not a Bugatti. It's not the car. It's not the model. It's not the money. It's the art of living life at the highest level. And it requires total awakeness to this moment. And the intelligence to anticipate what's coming right here, right now. It requires you having a different level of skill to drive that car. Does that make sense? You have to be able to not only do things right, you also have to be able to correct problems faster. Is that true? So, you have to anticipate them and deal with them before they show up. Or if they happen, you got to handle them right now. You can't linger and talk about it. You can't think about the mistake. You got to solve it or let go of it and move on. Win. Right now.

So, we're going to take that and make it work. And here's how we're going to start. We're gonna do a process. The first question I have is a really simple question. Really simple. Tell me two of the greatest experiences of your life. Two of the most enjoyable, two of the most magnificent, two of the most amazing, two of the most powerful experiences of your whole life. Now, I know you have so many, so I'm not going to limit you to these two. I just want to know which two pop in your mind. We're not going to judge the the right ones because you have so many to pick from. We're just going to see what pops up right now. Tell me two of the most powerful experiences of your life, most magnificent experience of life, most enjoyable experiences of your life, most powerful experience of your life. Raise your hand and tell me what are two of the most magnificent experiences of your life.

All right. Yes. Give her a hand. Give her a hand, ladies and gentlemen. No, a platinum hand, ladies and gentlemen. Tell us where you're from. First of all. Originally I'm born and raised in Poland, but I live in Florida right now. Okay, very nice. Give her a hand. So, Dagmar, what's one of the two most powerful experiences of your life or enjoyable or magnificent or loving? This year I decided to go for my birthday to the Bahamas. Yes. To Bimini Island. And the reason why I have chosen that island is because it's one of the few places in the world where you can swim with the dolphins in the wild. Yes. And where you can swim with the sharks in the wild as well without any cages. So that's what I decided to do.

Now look at her face when she's describing this. I was swimming with sharks. And and what was so magnificent about that? It was the beauty of discovering something new, doing something new that I have never done before. Um, I've been swimming with the dolphins before that were trained, but I wanted to swim with them in the wild. Wow. So you mean you didn't know what was really going to happen? I didn't know what will happen. And it was in the middle of the ocean. So you just jump to the ocean. And could you have died? Uh, if some big shark would come, probably. Yes. Yes. So your most exciting experience was when you could have died? Well, certainly when I was uh swimming with the sharks the next day without any cages. Yes. Then yes, there was one moment where there was a shark right behind my foot swimming and I didn't know. Right beside your foot. Yes. They usually like to chomp on feet. And that's exactly the moment when I didn't know if I should keep filming him or really swim past. Of course, in the social media world we live in today. Should I film the shark or swim? I think I should film him 'cause then I can put it on Twitter if I lose my leg. It's a great thing, you know? People talk about it. I'll get 10 million views. What?

Now watch this. What emotions did you feel during that time? Tell me the emotions you felt that made it feel so amazing, alive, powerful, enjoyable. Excitement. Excitement. What else did you feel? I felt alive. I felt like I am on a discovery. Discovery. Excitement. Alive. What else did you feel? Adventure. Adventure. What else did you feel? I felt alive. Yeah. Well, really alive. 100%. Yes. Part of how we feel alive is when we face death. Most people probably never feel more alive than when they face death. Because death is one of the greatest teachers on earth to make us live. If you were going to die right now and death came for you, almost all of you would negotiate if you could. You'd negotiate for at least a week. And if you got that week, what would you do during that week? What would you do if you got a week? Would you sit around worrying about shit and suffering? What would you do that week? What would you do that week? I would go climbing um the mountains because I love it. It's a big passion of mine. What else would you do? Um, probably jump from a plane. I would just do everything that I haven't done yet. The scariest thing that I have because what do I really have to lose? It's my last week of my life anyway. Yes. And why would you do all those things though? Because they would make you feel what? Alive. H Why wait? I keep doing them. One by one. I sense that.

Tell me a second experience that was magnificent. You loved so enjoyable. Tell me a second one. There are different experiences of different categories. Um, some of them are adventure. And I want you to give me one that is really simple, not huge, but it was huge in how good it felt. It's when I surprised my family for Christmas and uh I flew unexpectedly all the way from America to Christmas home and my family did not expect me. And I encountered big troubles along the way because there was lots of snow in in Europe and I could not get home for two days and somehow I found a way to fly for Christmas Eve um at 8 o'clock in the evening. But I made it.

Wow. Look at the look on her face. Can you feel her? What did you feel in that experience? It was the feeling of being with my family and and I knew that they would that they were missing me and I felt like I might I made their wish come true. Um, like I was like I it was not really about me. It was about making my parents happy and fulfilled and just. And yet, and yet doing that made you feel what? By the way, did you hear that? It really wasn't about her. Her focus was on the impact on others she loved. Remember that. And how did that make you feel to be able to light them up like that? I would do anything to to do those moments again and again and again. Yes. So, what did you feel? What did you feel? Happiness. Happiness. What else did you feel? Um, just the joy of being with my family. Yes. Happiness. Joy. What else did you feel? See, I felt I felt proud that I was able to to actually come up with that crazy idea and just make it happen. Yes. As as odd as it was. But um, but I I felt happy that I have this brain that is working this way and sometimes it's creating those crazy ideas and I just follow it. Happy, joyful, proud that she made it happen. You saw that earlier when she talked about it when she said, "I made it. I still got there. I made it by 8:00." Many of you remember the experience, but you've forgotten what you really felt. You've generalized what you felt. I want you to remember all the things she felt. Alive, adventure, excitement, living on the edge. Love, connection, family, proud. The greatest experiences of her life were not the experiences. They were those emotions. And those emotions would be available to her when made her feel those feelings. The only problem is she had to be with a shark to do it. Nothing wrong with that, but wouldn't it be nice if she felt those every day? What if she found adventure in a smile, not just in a shark? How would that change the quality of her life? What if she found pride in lighting the man she loves up the same way she does her parents? How would that change her relationship? If she was addicted to giving as much to him as she would her parents, how much would she own his soul? If he saw that her lighting him up made her that happy, he would feel successful at a level he never has before with a woman. It would make him want to do even more for her. It would start a virtuous cycle of beauty and love. and adventure and connection and pride. Give her a hand. Beautiful. Give her a hand.

[Music] Yes. Yes, sir. Give him a hand.

[Applause] [Music]

What's your name? Where you from? My name is William. Originally from um I'm Kurdish from northern Iraq. I've been um living in

Australia for the last probably 23 years. I arrived there as a refugee.

Um, one of the biggest, profound moments of my life was my journey as a refugee walking from northern Iraq through the mountains. That journey was supposed to take 6 hours. It ended up taking 3 days to get to the other side.

Um, my experience at the time was a one-way ticket. We're going to make it. We got shot at. We put our life in danger crossing rivers after rivers, walking through those mountains. I was wearing just my normal shoes, not even hiking shoes, just like going-out shoes, you know, but there was a determination inside of me that I'm going to get there. No matter what the cost is, I will get there.

And, you know, since arriving in Australia, life is really good. You know, I feel like I've shrunk. I don't have that level of being hungry for life anymore. And it's just living day by day kind of thing. I've created a lot of results for myself in terms of finances and all that stuff, but there are still other things that I could take on in my life where I could make a big difference to other people, to share that journey that I went through with the new people that are actually going through that journey right now in this moment in the world.

"Did you go on that journey with anyone else besides yourself?"

I had my brother and my two second cousins.

"What do you remember about that?"

Um, I had to take care of my brother where literally he didn't want to take care of me. I was carrying my case and it was too heavy for me to carry, and I had to stop for one second, and he chucked his case down. And the case had, like, you know, some other clothing, just so when we get to the other side, we could get changed. And at that moment, I realized, like, I have to take care of him. He will not take care of me. So I ended up carrying two suitcases on my shoulders just to be there for him, kind of thing.

"And what was beautiful about that?"

It was just unconditional. It was just unconditional love. Doesn't matter what you do. What do you say to me? He swore at me because we're walking for two, two and a half days at that point. You know, we haven't eaten any food. We were really, really like getting sick and tired from even each other, kind of thing. You know, anything that was said was just triggering all of us.

"But in that point, he was in such a horrible..."

So he would not even be grateful for someone being there because he just wanted that feeling of pain to stop. And so in that state, he slammed at the one person that actually loved him the most. He didn't mean to. He just did.

"But you still loved him?"

From the bottom of my heart.

"You still do?"

Still do.

"And how does it make you feel to know you're that kind of man?"

Makes me really proud. I'm very, very...

"I'm [ __ ] proud of you. I think you're incredible. It's my..."

[Applause] It's where my turn is calling the last of all. When the lights fade out, all the sins grow. So they look your bra, don't let you down, but I am hell. This is all for you. Don't want to hide the truth. No matter what we bring, we still are made of green. This is my kingdom come. This is my kingdom come.

[Applause]

"Tell me what you felt in that experience. What did you feel that you value so much? What did you feel in that experience that still makes it one of the most magnificent experiences of your life?"

Nothing was going to break me down. My vision was so straight, and I got to take care of him, and we have to get to the other side. Doesn't matter what the danger was, you know, we got shot at several times. And, you know, even that didn't stop us.

"And by the way, ladies, what you're witnessing is masculine energy."

Masculine energy. That's what you're witnessing right now. Masculine energy at its best, where real masculine, not masculine that some of you women think of, which I'd call level one, get over here, want to [ __ ] you, shut the [ __ ] up. That might be fun if it was done from a place of love, but when it's done from using, you know what that feels like. This is masculine level three, where I'll die for those I love. I won't die. I'll find the [ __ ] way. There is a way. I will find the way. I will never give up. Even if you do, I won't. Masculine isn't beating on your chest. It's an energy of knowing your outcome and knowing no matter what happens, you will find the solution. That focus on solving it is why he's standing here and why his brother's still living. That problem-solving, that commitment to something larger than himself. That focus on the outcome, the point. There you see it in its ultimate beauty. And almost every feminine force would like to have a masculine force that would die for them and their children. Some of you felt tears. How many felt tears or deep emotion when he shared the story? Why? Because you recognized this man lived in a beautiful state even in the worst of circumstances. Because living in a beautiful state is what it's all about. There is nothing else. Because life will give us all various circumstances. Some we will like, some we will hate, some we will adore, some we will freak out about. But the one thing that all humans have in common, and we in this room clearly have in common, is the ability to choose how we will feel and what we will [ __ ] do regardless of the circumstance, regardless of whether the one you love supports you. There probably wasn't a more important time for his brother to support him since it was taking all his effort to do this as well. And the one he loved most did not support him. And he still loved that one. He didn't just love with words. Love is an action. It's not your [ __ ] words. It's what do you do when it's hard? What do you do when it's unjust? What do you do when it's ineffective? If you just do what makes you feel good, that is not [ __ ] love. That's a preference you'd like to talk about. We're all moved by people doing what's right. And you only do what's right when you live in a beautiful state. A beautiful state is not one state. Happiness would be a beautiful state. Determination, is that a beautiful [ __ ] state? Courage, is that a beautiful state? Bravery, is that a beautiful state? Unconditional love, is that a beautiful state? Creativity, is that a beautiful state? Laughter, is that a beautiful state? Love, is that a beautiful state? Living in a beautiful state is not one state.

It's all the best states inside me. It's the United States... of you. Of you, of you. And in those states, you don't have to know what to do. You already know what to do. No one has to tell you what's right. You know what's right. You stop your [ __ ] story of suffering. Usually when you step out of it and you look to serve something beyond yourself, your parents, your brother, life, God, a mission, your spouse, your lover, your partner, your child. Not where you're doing it to make yourself feel good about you. Not to prove an ideal that you're perfect.

Cuz you're just living in a beautiful state. And when you're in that state, you do what's right. That's the whole game. It's not the things you thought it was. It's not comparing yourself to your father or your mother. It's not comparing your achievements. It's not trying to prove your worth.

It's saying, whatever life God offers us, it's deciding you're going to find a way to be in a beautiful state no matter what. And that is the one power we all have. It requires a decision where you cut off any excuse or possibility of not being in a beautiful state. Most of us give away our joy so easily, our happiness so easily over the littlest [ __ ] [ __ ]. The business is not producing the income that you want. The economy has changed. Your partner says some [ __ ] to you and they overreact in a way that's mean. And all your happiness is gone that easily. If all your happiness, if all the beautiful states you want in your life can disappear when someone doesn't do what you expect them to do, you will never have a sustainable quality of life. No matter how much money you have, no matter how many beautiful children you have, no matter how big your business is, how many awards you receive, because you're still suffering. And you're suffering over stories that have no basis in reality. It's not the things didn't happen. It's the story that you're feeling this way because they happened.

"What other feelings did you feel?"

Proud.

"Proud. You should. He [ __ ] earned that pride, did he not? The only pride that makes you feel happy is not ego pride. Ego pride is when you make [ __ ] up and make it bigger than it is to try to feel good, but you know it's not that good, so it doesn't really fill you up. His is based on earned. When you do something that is incredibly difficult, you will feel proud. And no one can take that from you. No amount of money you could take away, money, fame, fortune, everything. You can't take away the things you're truly proud of, which is who you have become, what you have overcome. What else did you feel?"

Being a leader.

"Yes."

"Being at service."

Yes.

"I'm struggling with the right word. Um, selfless."

That's right. Selfless. We suffer when we focus and obsess about our needs. We are free when we step out of our self. There is no other formula to end suffering than to stop focusing on yourself. It's counterintuitive because we all think, "I got to take care of myself." I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when you obsess about it. When you obsess about whether you've done a good enough job or not. When you obsess about what your child is doing or not doing, whether it's going to happen or not happen, not because of your child, because it's you that's suffering. You're feeling you failed. And you end the suffering when you stop obsessing about yourself. And you enter a beautiful state like faith, like courage, like, whatever happens with him, I'll be there. We'll get through this. And maybe something beautiful happened, but it's already beautiful because I'm no longer in fear. Suffering states are fear states. Suffering states are selfish states. In order to be depressed, you have to be selfish. You say you're depressed because of all that's happened with your children, but you're really depressed because you feel you failed them. You're depressed because you don't have what you want. You're depressed because you think you'll never get what you want. You're depressed because you think you're too old or you're too young. You're depressed because there's something you think is going to make your life never have something or there's something in your life there's going to be less of or you're going to lose something. All experiences of suffering come from the illusion of loss. That you're going to have less of something, that you've lost something, or that you'll never have it because of something. And none of it's true. Loss is an illusion. It's always an illusion. It's based on our projections of a future we don't know and cannot know. You heal. You heal that suffering when you get out of yourself and focus on something you value more than yourself. Then the magic of the human spirit takes over. And that is the beauty of intimate relationship. When you love someone even more than yourself, so much so that you'll do anything for them. And when you do that continuously, you develop a new identity for who you are. And you're free. Truly free. How you get there when you're suffering? You remember that I'm obsessing about something I'm not getting. I'm not achieving, I'm not accomplishing, no one's giving me, I'm failing to do that I should do. You're struggling with some ideal, and you're letting the ideal use you instead of you use the ideal. If you use the ideal, it's a standard you raise yourself for. When you beat yourself up, when you suffer, the ideal is using you. And people will die for their ideals. I've had that mindset. How [ __ ] stupid is that to die for a concept? Instead to experience life.

"What else did you feel?"

Very hungry.

"Very what?"

Hungry. I was very, very hungry.

We haven't eaten for three days at the time. Just feel remembering the pain I was going through, but I wasn't communicating to no one about it. You know, just like, we just got to get going.

We didn't even have water. We were drinking from the springs of the mountains, you know, just crawled down on the ground, just drink some water and just kept on going, kind of thing.

"How good did that water taste?"

Very fresh.

"Yeah."

But we got told not to drink it because it's going to give us stomach ache, and we had to stop.

"Didn't stop you."

Yeah. Just kept on drinking.

Some of you have not eaten for so long. If you had saltine crackers, it'd be like the greatest [ __ ] cracker on the planet. That's what you look like after about six hours of me. "Give me any [ __ ] thing." We give you a carrot. "The most magnificent carrot of my life." Some of you have had sex so long you have shitty sex, and it's like saltine. That's the greatest sex of my entire life. Tell me a second event of your life that isn't as dramatic but is beautiful and you cherish. Tell me one of the most simple beautiful experiences of your life.

It had to be, um, the day I got married when my father-in-law walked my, um, wife down the aisle, and, um, it was a moment where our eyes connected, and...

"You and your father-in-law?"

No, just checking because I'm checking out your wife right here beside you, making sure she understands. She's got beautiful eyes, and, um, our eyes just connected, and in that moment, we were like one. Literally, we were one, and everything and everyone around us just disappeared, and it was just me and her looking at her in the eyes, and, um, everything was going slow motion. It was like from there to here, I was, it just was going such a slow motion. It took ages to get to me, kind of thing.

"What did you feel?"

Lots of love. Um, being one, giving my all to her.

"Yes."

And, um, nothing would have separated us at that moment, and I would have taken a bullet for her at that moment.

"Yes. Look in her eyes right now and experience that exact feeling once again."

She's still there.

"Still there every day?"

Yes.

"Look in her eyes and feel that right now."

[Music] And look at his face and look at hers.

[Music]

"Nothing lifts a soul more. He gave his soul to her. He felt her soul come into him. Afraid of changing."

"And some of you give that up for what?"

"Cuz they didn't say what you like. Cuz they didn't do what you wanted."

"Cuz they didn't deliver what? You give up all of that. All of this for that little [ __ ] [ __ ] You give up this beautiful state for what? What would be worth giving this up for?"

"A disagreement about some [ __ ] Your children, your tone of voice, a word, a story, one person not doing a good job with the finances, burping when you shouldn't, farting..."

"We won't get to, but there's there's also..."

"Is there anything worth giving this up for?"

[Music]

"Children."

"But how easily do most of us give up these beautiful states over what?"

[Music]

"Because we never made the decision to live in a beautiful state, no matter what."

"What if you could live in these states? Love, appreciation, family. Give your soul, courage..."

[Music]

"...with the little things of life, every day."

"What if you decided you would live in a beautiful state even if the world was on fire? You'd live in a beautiful state even if it rained on your parade. Your goal was destroyed, but you still said, life is too short. Too short not to live in a beautiful state. Not to find beauty or love or gratitude or excitement or determination or something beautiful. Life is too [ __ ] short. I will not tolerate suffering. I will not tolerate living in fear. I will not tolerate living in frustration. I will not tolerate being petty with myself or others. I will not tolerate reacting. How would life be different if you really made that one decision, the most important decision of your life? That independent of all the achievement or lack thereof, independent of people supporting or not, independent of justness or not, life could be completely unjust and you could still be there. The people that do that inspire us. And for some of us, it brings us to tears. Because there's something in your soul and spirit that knows this is what you're made for. And if you're not, it hurts. And if you are, there can be tears of recognition that you found a brother or sister on the path. And you're not alone. Is there really any more important decision than to live in a beautiful state every day, no matter [ __ ] what? Even when your partner does not give you the sex that you want in this moment or the way you want it. Even when you think you're going to be alone forever and instead of having that, you put yourself in a beautiful state of faith or trust or courage because in that state you'll find him. Not in the other one. He'll never find you in the other one. A lot of people say, 'God's not with me.' They're in such angry states, such frustrated states. If you were God and you created all of this and you came and said, 'How's it going?' And the person says, 'Fuck, this is really [ __ ] up. You got [ __ ] ants biting my ass. It's hotter than [ __ ] [ __ ]. Why'd you create [ __ ] humidity? People are [ __ ] People are killing each other over little [ __ ] [ __ ]. You really [ __ ] this place up.' If you were God, you might say, 'Fuck you. You're on your own, [ __ ] [ __ ]. I would all this work to create this [ __ ] paradise for you and you can't figure this [ __ ] out. You are on your own. I'll be around to visit, but I'm not going to hang out here with you every day. You're hard to be around. I created this for you, and you're not even grateful.' 'God, someone else, how's it going?' 'Oh my God, this is so amazing. Thank you. What a magical place to have the gift to be alive. There's love, there's joy, there's challenge, there's everything I could imagine you've created here. You got these ants that bite my ass. Look how brave they are. I'm a hundred times bigger than they are, and they [ __ ] bite my ass. And you've created crazy ass people so that good people can remember what it means to be good, not just say they're good by doing something about it.' In Paris, there are men and women who wouldn't even talk to each other that are arm-in-arm tonight loving each other, expressing their courage for liberty and saying, 'We will not live in fear.'

[Music]

'You can bomb us. You can try to destroy us. You can shoot us. But you cannot take our freedom, our love, our liberty, our way of life will continue. And in that we are unified.'

[Music]

'And the whole world says we are with you.'

And God says, 'So now you see why it created conflict and why he even created death because without death you would not appreciate life. It's the scarcity of life that makes us appreciate it.' And some people have forgotten it's scarce and they're busy suffering. If it was the last day of your life, would you spend it suffering, whining, worrying, complaining, pissed off, frustrated? Some might. Most of us will be probably putting our focus into those we love, sharing, communicating, loving, doing things that make us feel alive. Usually things that require us to get outside of ourselves. Maybe we'd work on making sure our legacy, our family, our friends, our work, our mission would be well taken care of before we go. What's more important than committing to live in a beautiful state? Not a gentle commitment, an absolute commitment. A commitment as strong as your commitment to live. What would life be like if you were that committed to be in a beautiful state every day? And that when suffering arises, cuz it will, you just won't tolerate its presence. And you'll remember that it's only here because I'm focused on something I'm not getting, or I should have done that I'm not doing, that I could have done, that others should have done, that might not happen, that will not happen, that might happen less, or I might have lost, and it's all a [ __ ] lie. All you have to do is come back to what matters. Love, believe, create. Tap into your determination. Appreciate. If you want the antidote to loss, to never, to less than, it's simple. Appreciate. Appreciate. And maybe move it to a higher level. Enjoy.

[Music]

Nelson Mandela. Amazing soul. I met him. I made a serious mistake when I met him. I asked him this question: "How did you survive a quarter of a century in prison like that?" I remember it like it was happening at this moment. He rose up out of his chair. We'd both been sitting, and some people were getting up, so I thought that's what it is. And he looked across at me. So I rose up too, and he looked in my eyes and he said, "I didn't survive. I prepared." I'll never forget it. And he had this angry look on his neck like, "You stupid [ __ ]" At least that's how I interpret it. I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I knew one of two things would happen. I could sit here and just suffer, or I could make my life matter. I chose the latter." And he said, "I figured either I'll die here in prison and my death will spark a revolution, or I'll live and someday get out. And if I'm going to get out, I have to be prepared to lead. In order to lead people, I better make the most of while I'm here. I better learn Afraan so I can speak in their own language so they'll hear me speaking instead of a voice they don't understand. I might as well enjoy the guards." And he did. I might as well enjoy the day. I don't have to worry about feeding myself. Someone else does that [ __ ]. I don't have to earn. So for a quarter of a century, he did not suffer. We're inspired by people that don't suffer. We're inspired by people that live in a beautiful state, especially when the circumstances, for most of us, we would think there was no other choice but to be in pain. Only when you decide the most important decision of your life to live in a beautiful state every day, no matter what. Only then can you have an extraordinary life that lasts. Cuz every one of you in this room, God forbid, are going to have things happen you don't want to have happen. Some of you are going to have a [ __ ] divorce. Some of you are going to lose someone you love to cancer. Some of you are going to have a business turned upside down in spite of your best efforts. Or the government's going to change a rule. Or somebody's going to [ __ ] something up that's beyond your control. Some of you are going to die young. Some of you are going to live long enough not to remember who you're with. Aren't you glad you came to this positive [ __ ] seminar? Some of you are going to fall in love again. Some of you are going to fall in love like never before. Some are going to fall in love with the person you've been with for years. But now you're going to fall in love. Some of you are going to light up like [ __ ] Christmas trees. Some of you are going to live life to the fullest. Some of you are going to live knowing that death is available. People die every day of what you're doing right now. Sitting in a [ __ ] chair, eating a meal, whatever you're doing throughout your day, someone is dying doing it. So perhaps you should live while you can completely, fully, enjoyably, not surviving. If you were dying, would you really go and do that thing? Or who would you be with? And what would you say? And what would you give? Only when you commit to enjoy every moment of life will you. Only when you will not tolerate suffering will it not be in your life. You have to release yourself from the story that says the environment controls how I feel. My partner is why I feel this way. You have to release the story, or you will continue to suffer. Only when you say, "I am 100% responsible for my experience of life and mean it," will life be free forever. Cuz if you're 100% responsible, if you don't like it, you can what?

"You can what?"

"How fast? How fast? How fast?"

And the way you do that is realizing your suffering is because you're focused on yourself. You think it's not you, but it is. It's me, me, me. It's what I'm not getting. It's what I failed to do. It's what I should have done, and I didn't do. So, it's still about you.

"It's what I didn't accomplish, what I didn't do, what I didn't follow through, what they didn't do. It's the injustice of what they didn't give me or should have given me or didn't give me. It's what my father didn't do or my mother or someone."

Beautiful song called "Release Me," Pearl Jam. You hear it in the background a little bit. The only one who can do it is you. Your partner can't do it. They can love you enough for you to remember the moment that you're in charge, but you still have to make the decision. Write down, write down now three of the most magnificent experiences of your life. Write down what it was, and make one of them something really simple. Just something beautiful, magnificent that touched you. It isn't a giant [ __ ] accomplishment.

[Music]

"It's not comparing yourself to others."

Write down three experiences and beside the three, write down what you were feeling at that time that you treasure. Go to staring out over miles of land without wanting to build up walls. Welcome back. So, actually, we're only going to do two experiences. But before you start writing, I want you to check in with yourself. Check in with yourself and see how what your state is like. Are you in an active learning mode or are you in a passive learning mode? We want to be in an active learning mode. So, even when you're going to write these, the answer to these, you want to be in a peak state. You want to be focused because these are really important questions. So, here, got a question for you. I know we're not even an hour, just a little over an hour and a half into the program. How many already know they're ready to commit to living in a beautiful state? Just raise your real hand.

"That's it."

"Yes."

"Because we talked about these three levels of mastery. We have the ability to understand it. I think Tony's pretty explained it, and now he's got us into the emotional place. How many people are feeling some emotion? Again, just raise your real hand. If you're not feeling emotion, you might not be alive. Come on, people."

So, now you're going to write two, not three, two, two experiences. Great experiences. And we're going to go ahead and put the slide up with the question. And one of them must be an easy thing. It wasn't that you had to fly around the world and do this and that and 27 other things. Like William's example, I saw my wife and I connected with her eyes, and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. You've got less than five minutes to write down your two beautiful experiences and what you were feeling. Go have a good time. Put a smile on your face. Come on. Let me down.

[Music]

"Please don't let me down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Baby, let me down."

[Music]

"Can you let me down? Please don't let me down."

[Music]

"Please don't let me down."

[Music]

"Think about are there any patterns between those two situations? What do you notice again? Breathe. Big smile on your face. Sit on the edge of your chair."

"This is fun, people. Come on. You're doing great."

[Music]

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Baby, let me down."

[Music]

"Can you let me down? Please don't let me down."

[Music]

"How fun was that, huh? Was it awesome? Very good. We're gonna have a couple of shares. Now, here's the key. Um, unlike Tony, I actually know how to use this thing. Okay, it's called a watch. For those of you that haven't been to an event, you'd have no idea what I'm talking about. But for those of you that have, you know exactly what I'm talking about because Tony doesn't manage time. He manages outcomes, and he can get lost in the moment, and we can end up finishing five hours after we were scheduled to finish. And that's not gonna happen today. All right. So, I'm gonna ask for a couple of shares, and I just want you to give us like one minute. What was the experience? And then two, three, four of the emotions that you felt, the feelings that you were feeling that felt so great. Let's go ahead with a couple of our, at least one of our plaques that are on camera. How about Dacon? Let's Let's go with Dacon. All right. So, what was what was one of your your experiences that these beautiful experiences that you just remembered?"

"Thank you, Tad. Yes. Uh, one was my wedding with my wife, who I believe is on this uh call as well, downstairs somewhere else in the house."

"Good choice then, if you are using that as one of your experiences, Dacon."

"Um, and the emotions that I felt were love, uh, selflessness. I, I kind of remember her walking out. We got married up at the top of Aspen. It was like a beautiful setting. I remember her walking out, and that same kind of eyes-locked experience that I couldn't quite see because I was like tearing up so much. And, uh, I was just overcome by like the love of her, of our parents, all of our family and friends that were there. Um, I had no sense of my own self at all. I was completely engaged with her and what she wanted the day to be and making sure that it was that day. Um, and I was just so, uh, in that feeling of like oneness and also in like a feeling of grace and things flowing through me that were way beyond me."

"Beautiful. Beautiful. And how great did it feel to just experience that for a few moments again just now?"

"I mean, that's what life is all about. Like I, uh, I'm getting emotional just even thinking about it."

"Beautiful. Thank you very much, Dacon. Let's let's take one more, um, of our plaques that are on camera. Monica, how about Monica?"

"Yes. Hi."

"One of your experiences."

"Well, so the one that came first to me was the birth of my daughter. So, she was, uh, born without any medication. She was my third child. And, uh, it was a roller coaster ride. I'd never, I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know, um, what it was going to feel like. There were feelings in my body I had never, uh, known before. And it was, um, an incredible, um, you know, I was full of love. I know that I was full of anticipation and excitement. I was very open. Um, I wasn't, I didn't have any, I didn't have any expectations. I didn't have any requirements for how it was supposed to happen. Um, I just wanted her to be healthy and for me to be, um, able to kind of get back to get back to, um, being a mom because I have two other kids I have to focus on. Uh, and that was very different from the first pregnancy and the first delivery where I was very focused on me and my labor and all that sort of thing. Uh, and it wasn't as blissful and as ecstatic as this one was."

"Wonderful. All right. So, again, we can't see you any place you are around the world, but this is the active learning part where we're actively engaged. So, Megan, come on down. Let's hear you. You know, you're not going to be able to see Megan, so you're just gonna listen because, uh, we don't, uh, we don't have a video on everybody right now. Go, Megan."

"I'm a little emotional because, uh, the moment I chose was, um, the moment I realized who, um, who my biological father is, and it was really, really amazing. I'm still going through, you know, processing it, and, um, it was just a really special moment."

"And what were some of the feelings that you were feeling when you when you had that realization, when you finally figured out who your biological father was?"

"Um, elation, a little bit of disbelief, like, oh my gosh. Um, it was, uh, a little bit of grief, like, where have you been? A little bit of, um, wonder, like, now, you know, like, now what's gonna happen? It's, um, and just amazement. Absolute amazement."

"Beautiful."

"Yes."

"Thank you very much for, uh, for for that share, Megan. We really appreciate it. Let's go with Eric Balance. Eric Balance."

"How are you?"

"I'm excellent. How are you?"

"I'm amazing. I'm coming all the way from Australia, everyone."

"I knew that. Yes."

"So grateful to be here, everyone. I have to share one of my biggest experiences was being on stage, a date with destiny. Uh, being able to share, um, the energy and how that felt to me. The ability to be authentic, to be vulnerable, to share that energy and now encompass that. That has now allowed me to continue to give that energy back and continue to share that as a result of being on stage. That anchored me into such a, um, continuous momentum from that moment last year, and I continue to to just get excited about it. It puts me back into any, always into a state of beautiful energy because I want to give, give, give, and I just always think if I'm ever down, I put myself back into that moment. So I'm just grateful for it. Um, and grateful to have been there."

"Wonderful. Thank you very much for that share. Uh, you know, to to be able to take that in, uh, and and all that energy. It's, uh, really, having been up on stage myself, uh, it, it really is a powerful thing. So again, we want to cheer and congratulate Eric for sharing. Come on."

"Come on. That's it."

"I'm wondering if you noticed anything about all three of these shares? That is that they were about, you know, other people, the impact that other people were having on them. Even he was taking in the energy of the audience. And when we're in a beautiful state, we frequently are out there. One of the things we talk about in the trainer world is being in uptime, and that's when we're out there with whoever we're we're communicating with rather than being in here, here, because as we've heard Tony say, if you're in your head, you're dead. So one of the characteristics of a beautiful state is often, in fact, it always involves others in some way. All right. So how many people enjoyed remembering those experiences? Again, just raise your real hand."

"Definitely."

"All right. One of the things I didn't mention is the video that we're watching today was actually filmed the year that Tony made this decision personally for himself to choose to live life in a beautiful state. It was back in 2015. It was filmed in Maui, and it was filmed at a platinum event, the, uh, the relationship event. And I, I just want to mention that because many of the examples that, uh, you're going to hear are relationship-oriented. All right? But this is applicable in every aspect of your life. So the next section that we are going to be talking about, how many heard, um, when Tony was talking with William, or maybe, uh, maybe I think it was William, he says, 'Most people get good at managing suffering, but that doesn't do away with it.' And this next section is really to talk about pain versus suffering. And what you're going to hear, pain happens. Suffering is a choice. Matt, let's roll the video. Active learning, everybody. Active learning."

[Music]

"How many found some memories of some experiences that are profound? Raise your hand. Say, 'I.'"

"How'd you feel when you thought about them?"

"Yell out some of the emotions you felt in those situations. What were they?"

"Joy."

"Joy. Come on, tell me what you feel."

"What else?"

"What else?"

"Come on, yell it out. What else did you feel?"

"What else did you feel? Come on, yell out loud. What did you feel?"

"What did you feel? What did you feel?"

[Music]

"Here's a question. Grab your seat quick."

"Could you feel that way every day?"

"How many of us in this room have transcended an experience that would be totally painful, and we still found joy or gratitude or pride or faith or courage or creativity or fun in the middle of [ __ ] hell? Who's done this before? Say, 'I.'"

"I."

"So, it's not just Nelson Mandela that can do this. It's not, can you do this? It's will you? And the answer is, you will not as long as you give yourself any option other than to live in a beautiful state. If the option's there, you'll take it. As long as your belief in your story is conditional, that I can only feel good when life turns out the way I want it. Cuz our lives are not defined by how you do when things go well. Any [ __ ] idiot can feel happy. Then it takes no intelligence. It takes no consciousness. It takes no awareness. It takes no spirit to be in a great state when everything goes your [ __ ] way. When your partner does what you want. When you get everything you want. When life goes your way. When your body's perfectly healthy. When your economics are flowing. Any [ __ ] idiot can do that. And here's what I can tell you. Most people when all those things are going well, they still what?"

"Suffer."

"Suffer. Can be anger, sadness, depression, loneliness. I get the call all the [ __ ] time from people the best in the world at what they do. They're the best at achievement. They're not the best at, and life is fulfillment, my friends. It is not achievement. That's where you live and die emotionally. And that's where your relationship lives and dies. As long as your happiness is conditioned on anything outside yourself, people treating you a certain way, your spouse treating you a certain way, your kids behaving a certain way, your friends, your co-workers, your boss, the government, the politicians, then your happiness is cheap because it's going to go away so [ __ ] easily. True. Is it true?"

"Do you get what I'm saying? If your happiness depends upon other people behaving the way you need them to or expect them to, then you are not going to remain happy because human beings have variabilities in their happiness, even the greatest people. And the more people in your world, the less likely all that shit's going to line up. If your happiness depends on you behaving a certain way, you're going to be unhappy because as human beings, we're going to go in various states and do its various things. So, your happiness can't be based on you behaving effectively. It's got to be based on the fact that you won't tolerate suffering. You're committed to finding enjoyment in every single [ __ ] moment. It's the only way. Is it really possible?"

"Wow, that was a powerful response."

"Is it really possible?"

"Are you sure you just shouting now? Just shouting now."

"How many know it's absolutely possible in your soul?"

"So then the question is not can you, but will you? And you only will if you have a brand new core belief that says suffering is a [ __ ] waste. Because some of you think suffering is noble. Suffering is not [ __ ] noble. It's not noble to go in a shitty state. When you go in a shitty state of feeling sorry or angry or depressed, do you bring more value to others? Yes or no?"

"Does the best you show up? Yes or no?"

"No."

"We're always inspired by people who prove to us that we don't have to suffer because they don't, in spite of something unjust. Watch this video for a moment and maybe you remember this child. Here we go. I'm Sam, and I just turned 17, and I have a disease called progeria. I'm just going to give you some more information about progeria. Um, it affects only about 350 kids today worldwide. So it's pretty rare, and effects of progeria include tight skin, lack of weight gain, uh, stunted growth, and heart disease. I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I'm striving to change the world, I will be happy. I was pretty sick. I had a chest cold, and I was in the hospital for a few days, but, and, uh, I was secluded from all of the aspects of my life that I felt made me me. That kind of gave me my identity. But knowing that I was going to get better and looking forward to a time that I would feel good again helped me to keep moving forward. And sometimes I had to be brave. And it wasn't always easy. Sometimes I faltered. I had bad days. But I realized that being brave isn't supposed to be easy. And for me, I feel it's the key way to keep moving forward. So all in all, I don't waste energy feeling bad for myself. I surround myself with people that I want to be with, and I keep moving forward. So with this philosophy, I hope that all of you, regardless of your obstacles, can have a very happy life as well."

[Music]

This little boy has a disease that is he's heard 350 people in the world out of 7 billion experience that makes them age rapidly. He's an old man sitting there. They're only supposed to live to 12. He made it to 17. And Oprah and many people have interviewed him over the years saying, "How can you be so happy knowing your whole body is aging and dying? You have a disease that is like a curse." Curse. And he said, "It's not a curse. It'd be a curse not to enjoy my life." He said, "I'm enjoying my life." And if you watch, you know the secret. How is he enjoying his life? If it's not enjoyable in this moment, he thinks of something that will be enjoyable in the future and brings it to this moment. And who is he focused on? Helping others to be happy. This little boy just passed away, 17 years old, and he died happy. What's really sad is to see someone live a full life and die miserable. It's not how long you live, it's how you live. Think about it. If he can be happy and know he's going to die, and by the way, every day he thought he'd die. What if every day he was feeling that? The constriction his body probably would have shortened his life. No one could believe he lived 17. The oldest of that nature is 12. So he had 50% longer lifespan than anything they've ever measured. And the only thing the doctors can explain is he was so euphorically happy, they think his immune system was strengthened and fought it off longer than anyone in history. Maybe living in a beautiful state actually will make you live longer as well as better. Here's another example. Well, this is a woman I interviewed who was the oldest living survivor of the Nazi concentration camps. And I went...

To go interview her. She was 108 at the time I did this interview. And she was a great, a phenomenal pianist, the best in Europe at the time when World War II broke out. And she was Jewish. And so the Nazis corralled her and her family, her husband, her young child. All of her family members were killed except her child. If I remember right, he was four or five. And the Nazis kept her child alive for one reason. Anyone who had great skills in the arts, they would make propaganda films to make it look like they're treating the Jewish people well. And they'd create orchestras with them, and they would hold their children and say, "We will murder your child if you don't play well and if you don't look happy."

So not only did you have to deal with her own experience of living with almost no food as a skeleton and her child saying to her, "Mommy, what's a Jew? Why are they trying to hurt us?" And she said what kept her going was she realized if she felt pain, her child would feel pain. So every day she found things to find a way to laugh. And they would have these sessions of laughter over nothing. Laugh and laugh and laugh. And the other thing that gave her joy was music. And when she played the music, all of the people, all of them in the concentration camp would hear the music as they were filming it. And they all would talk about how for those sweet few moments, life would transform as they listened to the music. And so she decided she would play for everyone there. And that while she was playing, there was no pain. She wrote a book at 97 years old, and the book was "The Garden of Eden in Hell." How she was able to be so happy in the middle of it all.

And when I interviewed her, she was such a beautiful soul, living on her own at 108 years old, no one taking care of her. Somebody would come by each day, but living her own little place, swimming every day at 108 years old, and playing music an hour and a half a day, keeping her mind sharp, remembering the music and enjoying it, and letting it lift her, letting everyone else hear it. Everyone inside the apartment building, when it's there, all know Alice and they all love Alice because Alice is always playing, even when they don't want to hear it. But she's so joyful. She lives in such a beautiful way. Everybody's touched by her. Talk to all the neighbors. Everybody's like, "She is the greatest woman in the world. She is always happy. It doesn't matter what happens."

And when I was with her, we were filming and we had one of those, you know, sound devices, you know, little, what am I looking for? Microphone, but you know, the big one. And she's like, "That is such a, what is that?" I told her, "A microphone." "That's a beautiful microphone." "Oh, what a beautiful camera." "You are so beautiful." She says to me, everything was beautiful with her. And her entire life's mindset is that it's all a gift. She felt it was a gift. She was in the concentration camp because she was able to discover that problems and happiness have no relationship. There's no relationship between problems and happy. You can have tons of problems and be happy. You can have no problems and be miserable. Because what creates misery and suffering is a way of thinking, focusing on yourself. In the midst of hell, she focused on taking care of her child and lifting the souls in the concentration camp. It wasn't about me. And she truly was out of pain. She developed cancer in her 80s and I interviewed her at 108. She was totally healthy. Beat cancer. Her son died 20 years before she did and still found to be happy because her whole thing was hell. He made it through a concentration camp. He had children. Those children are part of his legacy. There are grandchildren. He had a beautiful wife. He lived a full life. God just gave me more years. Nothing wrong with this woman's head. I guess after you go through concentration camp and you're still happy, the IRS isn't going to mess with you, right? Your partner not saying what you want to say is not going to mess with you.

Watch just three minutes of this.

"What are the two or three most important things you've learned in your life?"

"Important thing is that I was born optimistic. This is not my merit. My mother rested and I came out and I was optimistic and I was laughing from the beginning of my life and we laughed till my end. This is my answer."

"And why were you so optimistic? You just chose to be different than your sister?"

"Yes, I am. We were twins."

"Oh, you were born of a twin."

"And the twin sister was pessimistic."

"She waited for catastrophes. Sometimes the catastrophes came."

"Sure."

"I had cancer."

"At what age?"

"In the age of 83."

"83."

"I came to London. The next day I didn't feel well. So the doctor sent me immediately to the hospital and they operated and I still am alive."

"Wow. That's amazing."

"Cancer."

"That's amazing. You said your mother taught you two very important lessons in life that helped you even in the concentration camp. And what did she teach you about gratitude?"

"Complaining doesn't change people, but they complain, nothing changes."

"When you ask me what I learned in my my long life, so I can answer you. First of all, I am grateful to my mother that she was interested in our, we are five children, to learn, learn to know. To know this is the basis. And then to be thankful. For instance, as a survivor as I am, with my son, thankful for everything. For being not hungry, being in good health, of course. Of course, seeing the sun, seeing a smile of a good, a smile, a nice word of somebody, a nice word of somebody. Everything is a present. Everything. Every this I learned to be thankful for everything."

[Music]

"Yes."

"Does she live in a beautiful state? How many of you are touched by her? Just out of curiosity. Why? When people live in a beautiful state, no matter what the environment, they remind us who we are. Now, watch this little kid. Just watch the state he can generate by being goofy. Goofy is a beautiful state. Watch."

[Music]

"Do you ever feel already buried deep under screens and no one seems to hear a thing? Do you know that there's still a chance for you? 'Cause there's a spark in you. You just got to ignite the light and let it shine. Just ignite like the fire to light. Baby, you're a fire. You work. Come on. You make them go as you shoot across the sky. Baby, you're a..."

[Applause]

[Music]

"This little guy has 500 million people that follow him on YouTube. A half a billion people. Half a billion people. And some of you are like, 'Are you kidding me?' And he has a disease that also is making him die. And he, no one ever talks about it. He doesn't talk about it. He goes to the hospital every three days, gets a transfusion to keep it going. People are so mean. They go on YouTube and write things about what a dick you are. 'What an ugly little bastard.' All these people who live in an ugly state who are suffering. So suffering people want other people too, including you and your spouse or you and your loved one, if you allow it. You'd see it in other people and think it's ugly. How many have ever done this though? How many have made the one you love most feel like shit? How many have done this before? Let me see your hands. No more. No more. Not another day, not another hour. Not a moment. And if you screw up in the moment, you solve it in that moment. You apologize. You own it. And you nip it in the bud instantly. And by going in a beautiful state, which can be apologetic and generous and loving, sincere, caring, benevolent, all beautiful states. This little boy is enjoying every day of his life. He can't leave his bedroom except to go to the hospital. He gets in front of that little thing and mimics his favorite songs. Katy Perry saw him do the first version of this one song he did and wrote him a note and sent him one of the three album covers, actual album covers that she created initially and signed it for him. And then next thing you know, 50 Cent is showing up at his house, sneaking up and doing a video behind it. And he's got like this following. Everybody wants to be around this kid because he lives in a beautiful way."

"That's it. Seminar's over. Through the snow."

[Music]

"And that would be true if that's all it took. Can we live in a beautiful state even if we're dying? Can we live in a beautiful state even if we're put in prison for false pretense and have all our freedoms taken from us? Victor Frankl is one of my greatest heroes and role models in life. He was in Auschwitz, in the middle of Auschwitz. He found joy and pleasure by finding meaning even in the pain. He began to study who survived and why they did. And the ones that survived were those that created a compelling future, a reason for the pain they're in today that would have a higher meaning. They literally found a beautiful state. They said, 'I'm going to live so I can tell this story so this never happens.' Uh, and it became the cry of a few who survived. He said, 'You always knew you were going to die because they would take more bread. They'd take more of the little bit of food that was available, the soup. They'd just take it all in because there's no future.' And they would fight with others for what they had. A few of them lived. They're the ones that were the most benevolent. Even though they had less food, there was something inside of them. They wanted to help others. And because they were helping others, they escaped suffering. They physically had enormous pain. Pain and suffering are not the same. You can have enormous physical pain and not suffer. Suffering is, 'Why did God do this to me? Me.' Suffering is, 'Why should I have to go through this?' Suffering is, 'I'll never have joy again.' Suffering is the story about the pain. Otherwise, it's just pain.

There are couples in this room where there's been infidelity. And whenever there's infidelity, someone always blames. And in our culture, the blame goes to the one who had the infidelity, which seems natural. However, I've learned one thing. No matter how thin you slice it, there's always two sides. People don't just cheat. I have never had this happen in tens of thousands, maybe a hundred thousand interventions I've done with couples over decades. I have never had someone say, 'Oh my god, I feel so much love from him or her. I feel so much certainty that our love is here. We're here for each other completely. There's so much variety. He's always surprising me. She's always surprising me. I never know what's going to happen. I feel like the most important person on earth to them. I feel so significant and they're so significant to me. And you know what? There's so much love and we're growing and we're both contributing. I'm out of here.' I've never heard that. What I always hear people say is, 'I gave him, I gave her what? Everything except what they needed, or they wouldn't have left.' Don't kid yourself. We love to be moralistic. It keeps us from having to see that it takes two to tango. I'm not saying that man or woman did the right thing. It's the wrong thing. But I'm saying there's a reason. That's not an excuse. But if you get that the couples that have truly forgiven where the person doesn't for the rest of their life say, 'I can't trust you. I'm uncertain.' If the person really is repentant, and I've seen it happen with men and women, it isn't just men by any stretch in the world we live in today. The level of loyalty that person will have to that person, if that really is there, they're feeling the toughest time. It's like a bone breaks and then it heals. If you know physiologically, it becomes the strongest part of the bone.

But if your beautiful state is dependent upon anything outside yourself, you're going to suffer. Because many of you suffer even thinking it could happen. What is suffering? Worrying. Is worrying suffering? Yes or no? Is fear suffering? Yes or no? Is anger suffering? Yes or no? Is rage, resentment, sadness, depression, feeling hurt, alone, lonely, anticipating being alone, anticipating being lonely, anticipating the end, anticipating loss, or anticipating now we have less because something happened. And it doesn't have to be infidelity. Some people, that's having a child. One feels very fulfilled. The other goes, 'I'm no longer important.' There's always something you could suffer for. I, I've never met a human being on earth that couldn't suffer if they wanted to, no matter how good their life was. And I've met many people on earth that have every reason to suffer and don't suffer at all. That doesn't mean you don't feel pain. They just don't let the pain be suffering. If it starts to suffer, they nip it in the bud. As the young man said, the first one in that little TED talk, 'I don't waste my energy worrying. I need that energy to heal. I need energy to live.' When you say you can't do something, you're lying. You don't want to. You fear it. But if you could do it with joy, if you could do it with grace, if you could do it with appreciation, different game. So you felt good writing those wonderful things down. So now I have a new question for you. What's one of the worst experiences of your life so far? What's one of the worst experiences of your life so far? Don't write it down yet. Think about it. Raise your hand and tell me an example. What's one of the worst experiences of your life so far?"

"Marriott, give her a hand. Give her a hand. It's the worst experience of her life. For God's sakes, give her a hand, ladies and gentlemen. Putting out fires all my life. Everybody wants me."

"The worst experience was, um, after a couple of years, um, uh, hearing my daughter was telling me, uh, she was, um, abused by a lover boy and taken by a lover boy and that kind of things. And it went from her, she was 13 years old, and at the age of 17, she literally burst everything out and sitting on the couch with me and telling me what's really what's going on with her. And they are also filmed her and that kind of thing. So, um, the whole 13 till of 14 till 17, police came and asked us to, uh, turn this guy in. And we didn't understand why the police was hitting after us so much. And, uh, at 17, she was ashamed, afraid, and he was abusing her but also threatening her, doing something to us and and and the family. So that's was the real experience."

"And what did you feel?"

"Powerless, frustrating, not knowing what's going on with my child."

"Powerless, frustrated, and what? Not knowing what was going on with my child."

"And I want you to notice these are all about herself."

"Yeah."

"Powerless is about her. Yeah. Frustrating. Frustrated is about her feeling. Yeah. I didn't know what was going on with my child about her. Suffering is always when you focus on yourself. I know she felt for her daughter, but I want you to hear because most of you would normally not hear it if I'm not pointing out in real time."

"I know."

"The suffering her daughter's been through. Her daughter's on the other side of it. Yeah. She's suffering. She's suffering because she's obsessed about how she failed. She didn't know. She should have done something. She should have experienced it. Now, on the surface, you go, 'Well, that's, of course, that's a high standard of a mom.' No, that's suffering. From this state, she cannot help her daughter a whole lot because she's not resourceful. Raise your hand if you follow. She's angry. She's sad. She's hurt. Who's she really angry with also? Not just him. Who's she really angry with? Tell me who she's really angry with."

"She's disappointed in herself."

"Yes."

"So everything about that story, I know you love your daughter. I know I'd be enraged beyond enraged, but I want you to get that that is about you. This is a perfect example because it's so blatantly obvious it's about her daughter when it's really about her. How old's your daughter now?"

"She's good."

"She's good. She's really good now."

"Yeah. You're not."

"We, we had enough."

"Yes. Because..."

"Oh, because..."

"No, no, no, no, no."

"Yes, yes, yes, yes. You're not because..."

"I'm now..."

"So..."

"I'm thinking about it. That was my, that was my worst experience."

"You must..."

"Yes, but you're still suffering. You didn't tell me that experience from a completed state. Raise your hand if you see what I'm seeing. She's great now. You're the one in hell because you're focused on yourself and you are the kind of person that always puts everybody first because I know you got a heart of gold. But when you say you're putting everybody else first, you are. Except you're lining all of that up against the ideal of what you should be. And when you don't match that, your suffering comes from that. Are you seeing this? This is a perfect example because the environment was unjust. But that's a bigger problem than gambling. She's great. Mom's not. Mom's not. They're fine. I have a son also gambling. So I would talk to you also. There's a lot more going on here. And your suffering is because he shouldn't be gambling. Whenever you argue with reality, you will suffer. He is gambling. So therefore, he should be gambling because for you to say he shouldn't be gambling and he is, you're wrong. Now, gambling may have negative consequences to life in the future. Perhaps and perhaps not. Are there people that gamble their whole life and still have a great life? Yes or no? So it's your ideal about how he should be. Meanwhile, your life sucks because you're in pain. You're in, what would you say? What feelings do you have about that? What are the feelings you have about that?"

"Frustrated, powerless."

"Oh. Oh. Do you notice a pattern? Angry. Frustrated, powerless, angry."

"Sad."

"Sad. Why does she go to sad? Because she's powerless to change. The anger's not working. So now she goes sad. Then she's tired of feeling sad. She'll go to angry again. Crazy eight. Crazy eight. Who knows what I'm talking about when I say crazy eight?"

"Yeah."

"Crazy eight. And Bill, you not been with me, is a pattern. You go from one emotion until you exhaust it. If somebody's really angry and you do nothing but just stay there and be present, they're screaming at you and you don't fight with them, eventually they will run out of gas. Is it true? If someone is crying and you do nothing and let them cry and cry and cry, eventually they'll run out of gas because we satiate ourselves. We can only take so much of it. And so we get tired of feeling that way. So we go to another. And most people have two primary emotions that they circle back and forth with when they feel like they're out of control. And when you're suffering in those states of anger and sadness, primary states for you, powerless, which leads to anger, sadness, what happens here?"

"Not good. It's no good."

"What's no good?"

"This relationship is no good."

"Yes."

"We have no connection. We have no..."

"We have no connection."

"I have no connection."

"Give her a hand for that, ladies and gentlemen. It's beautiful, right?"

"And..."

"I step also in my masculine energy."

"Really? I never would have guessed that."

"Oh. Oh. Why do you know if..."

"Because you link feminine to being powerless. So you think masculine is powerful. So you go there and that creates more pain."

"You're right."

"For you. Forget him. Yeah. I could put you in another man. It wouldn't matter. You'd be in pain because it's not your core. But you've done this for so long. You don't even know how to really be in the other place. And then you're frustrated and suffer about that. How come I'm not feminine? Then you suffer about that. I'm not the way I should be. And then you have more suffering."

"I'm jumping up and down."

"Say again."

"Jumping up and down."

"What's jumping up and down?"

"Like in the masculine, I now recognize my masculine energy and I recognize my feminine energy. So I'm, I'm thinking..."

"Which one is this right now?"

"I'm still in my masculine a little bit."

"You're being unfair to yourself. You're actually starting to drop into your feminine. How many can feel her starting to drop into her feminine? So, you don't recognize your feminine. You think you do. So, you're unjust to yourself. Anyone who knows more about their weaknesses than their strengths can have a hard time. The world should be a certain way in the model of the world you create. And it's not. And that's your suffering. But the world is how it's supposed to be. You just haven't figured out how to appreciate it. And if you did, ironically, your world would also change. You have been incredibly unfair to yourself, honey. You have a heart this big. Everyone around you sees it. You just think fierceness is the way to live. And you learned that a long time ago. Honey, those days are over. But just like your daughter, who is actually good now, you live in the memories of the past. I love you. Thank you."

"I love you. Thank you."

"I love you."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

"I love you."

"I love you."

"Please forgive me."

"Please forgive me."

"Thank you."

"Thank you."

"I love you. Thank you. As I love you, God. I love you, universe. I love you. And I thank you for bringing this up that's not healed so I can heal it now. Not by doing anything, by letting go and knowing that everything is perfect."

[Music]

"That requires only one simple thing."

"A beautiful state."

"Faith. Trust. Things you've not used much of in the past because you've been so busy suffering that you forgot to decide to live a beautiful state."

"I love you."

"Thank you."

"I love you."

"Thank you."

"Let's do a quick exercise. You're going to have three minutes to write down what was one of the worst experiences of your life. Again, just one. This is not the time to be an overachiever. Just one of the worst experiences of your life. And what were you feeling? You got three minutes. Three minutes."

[Music]

"Again, remember to breathe. Remember to breathe. And you don't have to step into this experience in a fully associated way. Just remember it. Just remember what some of the feelings were. Does anybody have any objections? If we don't share our worst experiences, how about we just skip that? We know what they are and you probably able to remember the feelings without even thinking about it. So, we're going to skip any kind of a share with our worst experience and we're going to continue to move on. And I want to share a quick story with you that Tony often shares at events when he's talking about beautiful state and it's the story of Arthur Bremer. Arthur Bremer was actually an individual who grew up in a really troubled family. Uh, he was abused physically and and certainly mentally and so he had a lot of issues and in the early 70s he decided that he was going to kill Richard Nixon. Nixon, you know, was a big name and he wanted to be noticed in the media. In fact, I've had a chance to look into Arthur Bremer's diary because he kept the diary and he kept writing journal entries in his diary and I had a chance to take a look at not the actual diary but an online version of it. And at one point he said he had thought about trying to kill George Wallace, but he said, you know, Wallace really isn't much of a guy. If I do that, it won't even make the news in Russia or China. So he was very focused about what other people were going to think. So he had this plan. He was going to kill Richard Nixon. He planned it all out. He had a handgun. Richard Nixon was doing a parade and he knew where he was going to be. He was there at the parade. He had his hand actually on this handgun. He sees Nixon coming towards him. This is his big moment. And as Nixon gets closer to him, there's this lady, a middle-aged lady. She bumps into him and then says, 'Oh, oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bump into you.' And Bremer in his journal wrote that, you know, that lady was so nice to me. There's no way I could kill Nixon in front of her. I just couldn't do that to her. Well, he had a number of plans. And another plan he had was to get a rifle, which he had, and he was going to get up on a bridge and he was going to shoot people on the street below. And before he had the, he had the rifle in his car in the trunk and before he went to to carry out his plan, he decided he was going to get some lunch. And where does somebody go that needs to get lunch? They go to McDonald's. Um, maybe maybe he was going to order a Happy Meal. I don't know. But he goes into McDonald's and he is very much in his head and he's thinking about, you know, shooting these people and if this is going to be a big enough thing for him to be noticed in the media and he goes up to place the order and before he orders, the individual, it was a young girl. She was maybe, you know, 18, 19 years old. She said, 'You know, are you okay? You just, you seem like you're really troubled.' And and Bremer says, 'Oh, no, no, no. I'm fine.' And so he gets his food, he eats, he goes to his car, he gets his rifle, he goes up on the bridge, and he's getting ready to shoot some people. And again, this is all in his journal. And this lady who was behind the counter in McDonald's, he's looking down on the street and this lady apparently had just gotten off work and she's walking down the street and again he said to himself, 'Oh man, there's no way I can shoot people. This lady was so nice to me.' And this is one of the things that at least I didn't realize back in 2015 and 2016 when Tony was first getting started with this. It's this idea that in order to help somebody who is in a suffering state, we have to be in a beautiful state. The only way, the only way to help somebody who is in a suffering state is from a beautiful state. Because if I go into a suffering state, particularly this happens with people in close relationships, significant others, wives, husbands, partners, they're suffering. We love them. We start to suffer. And now we're suffering. They see us suffering. They were already suffering. Now they suffer more. And so we got to realize that the only way, the only way to help somebody who is in a suffering state is from a beautiful state, which is just another one of the long list of reasons why it's so important to live in a beautiful state and to choose to live in a beautiful state all the time, no matter what.

As you were listening to the last video when Tony was working with Marriott, he used this phrase, 'I love you, thank you.' And the phrase 'I love you, thank you' is actually the whole Ho'oponopono. It's actually a Hawaiian word. Hawaiians are good for lots of vowels. So it's Ho'oponopono and it's an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness and it's a prayer. It's a chant. And what it is, it's designed to allow each one of us, anyone who says it, to release memories that you are keeping in your mind as though they're problems. And it calls out to that part of us that has an answer for everything. You know, the Hawaiians believe that all the answers were inside of us. And it's a way for us to say, 'I'm sorry for whatever in me created this situation, whatever that situation is.' It's a way to hit the reset button and delete unconscious memories that you might not even be aware of. And what we're going to do now is, and it's a tool actually, it's a tool that you can use to help get yourself out of suffering and back into a beautiful state. And we're going to use it in a specific way right now. And we're going to actually do an exercise to start the exercise. I want you to think of a situation in, you know, in your life right now that you are currently suffering over. Maybe something just recently has occurred. It may be something from long in the past. It doesn't have to be, although it could be suffering that you're still having from this worst experience that you wrote down. And what you're going to do is you're going to start by on a one to 10 scale where one is not feeling any suffering at all, 10 is being feeling suffering at a most painful level possible. You're going to give it a rating of from one to 10. And the goal is to come up with something that is at least a six or a seven because we're going to do this exercise. And you want to be able to see, 'I was at an eight when I started and when we finished this exercise, which you'll be able to do completely on your own, I was at a three or a two or even a five.' From eight is still a great change. All right. So think of that experience that you were suffering that you still are suffering over at some level. Doesn't mean that you're suffering every moment of every day, but when you think of it, you suffer. And again, we want something that's a six or a seven. So, I'm going to give you about 15 seconds because it shouldn't take you long. Most people are pretty good at remembering their suffering. I don't know. I'm just speaking for myself.

And when you have that situation, go ahead and just write down on a piece of paper. There's actually a space in your workbook for you, but if you don't have your workbook printed out, just use a piece of paper. Where are you right now with that feeling of suffering?

All right. So, if you're sitting down, let's go ahead and stand up. Stand up and close your eyes. Close your eyes. And there are four phrases that are part of this whole Ho'oponopono. In fact, go ahead and open your eyes. I think we actually have a screenshot that has these four phrases. Matt, if you go ahead and put that up for us so everybody can see them. The phrases are: I love you. Thank you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. In fact, you look down at the very bottom of this screen here, the long form. There's these four phrases. And the first time I was exposed to this was at another platinum event. A lady who was like one of the biggest proponents of it at the time. She said, 'The order doesn't make any difference. The order doesn't make any difference. Say it however feels right to you.' So, I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. All right. So now go ahead, close your eyes. Think of that situation that you have been suffering about. Again, maybe not all the time, but when you think of it, you suffer. And it's the situation that you rated a six or a seven. So, with your eyes closed, picturing that situation, particularly if there was somebody else involved, picture them with your eyes closed. Just see them right in front of you and go ahead and say this with me: I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. Say it out loud. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. All right. Keeping your eyes closed, we're going to continue to say this, but as you say this now, actually picture your heart. Picture your heart. Only now picture your heart as though it's actually the part of your body that is breathing. So when you take a breath in, you'll watch your heart expand. And then when you let that breath out, you watch your heart contract. So when you breathe in, you're going to watch your heart expand and you're going to then watch your heart contract. You're going to watch your heart as though you were breathing in your heart. You're breathing in your heart. And while you watch that, and while you see and feel yourself breathing in your heart, we're going to continue to say the long form of the Ho'oponopono. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. Saying this out loud. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. Watching your heart expand and contract while you continue to say this to yourself. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. As you continue to say this, watching your heart expand and contract with each breath, see your mind, see your mind, picture your mind traveling down through your neck and joining your heart. Your mind and your heart are now one. You watch your heart and your mind expand and contract with each breath. And you continue to say, 'I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.' Begin with each breath, watching your heart and your mind expand and contract. Breathing in your heart and now in your mind because your mind and your heart are one. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. And one more time. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. Now, just for a moment, just continue to take deep breaths in and out, seeing your heart and your mind expand and contract in unison. Breathing in your heart and your mind.

And then whenever you're ready, go ahead and open your eyes. That's it. Open your eyes and think of this situation that you were suffering about before. And using that same one to 10 scale, where are you right now? Where are you right now on that same one to 10 scale? Write it down. Write it down on a piece of paper.

All right, let's have just one or two shares. One or two shares. Um, let's go. Ed, are you able to share one of our plats on camera? Just tell us where you were when you started, where you were at at the end, and what was different for you. Go ahead, Ed.

"So, recently, a couple weeks ago..."

"Come on. Let's give it up for Ed. Come on. Let Ed hear you. All right. So, where were you when you started?"

"I was about..."

"Um, I was an eight."

"An eight. And um..."

"Where did you end up?"

"Now I'm a two."

"Wonderful. And what changed? What changed was, um, just the acceptance of, um, of what happened and, uh, knowing that, um, knowing that I said I'm sorry and, um, I've moved on from the suffering."

"Wonderful. So, wonderful. So, I'm curious and we're going to Let's first acknowledge. Let's first acknowledge Ed. Come on. Give it up for Ed. Oh, come on. You can do better than that. Come on. It was Ed. Way to go, Ed.

So, you know what? One of the things that so often happens is that, and I'll speak in the first person, when I'm suffering, it's often because of something I've done or something I haven't done. Um, and, you know, somebody has reacted to that and now I'm upset because of that. And often times when we are able just to say 'I'm sorry,' even if we don't know what we did, as Tony said, 'No matter how thin you slice it, there's always two sides. There's always two people that were involved in this.' Um, so, you know, this is just another opportunity for us to get grounded, get centered, and get focused. And this is a super easy exercise. I mean, these are four phrases and they're in your handbook. 'I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.' Uh, and they work. I mean, I've been at so many events and I see Tony, you know, people that are at odds with each other and he'll have them stand up sometimes and they won't do anything other than just look at each other in the eye and say these four phrases and you can literally, literally watch people transform before your very eyes. So, it's a powerful tool. And the short form, we don't need to put it up on the screen, but the short form is just 'I love you. Thank you,' or 'Thank you, I love you.' That will work equally as well. So, again, raising your real hands. How many people are willing to use this going forward when they find themselves in a suffering state? Beautiful. Beautiful. Well, we've got more video. Good stuff from Tony. And I know those of you that haven't quite made that decision, you are this close. You're going to be making that decision before you know it. And the next video is Tony working with a lady who was actually in a terrorist attack in Mumbai. And we're going to watch him help her get out of a suffering state and truly into a beautiful state. So again, active learning, people, that means sit on the edge of your chair. When Tony says yes, you're throwing your hand in the air and saying yes. When he asks a question, shout out an answer. Active. Active with emotion, people. Here we go, Matt. Let's roll the video.

"What was the worst experience of your life? You think?"

"A number of years ago, I was held hostage in a terrorist attack."

"Yes."

"Did you live?"

"Yeah, obviously."

"Then it's not the worst experience you could possibly have had. Clearly she lived. Ladies and gentlemen, give her a hand. She survived."

"Did everyone live?"

"No."

"And you're suffering?"

"I'm suffering a lot less thanks to you."

"Good. Less is not my goal. If you're suffering, you're choosing to suffer. How many are starting to see this? Please raise your hand if you're seeing it. And you're choosing because you're addicted to the story because the story is giving you something. A way to connect with yourself. A way to create significance for your life even if it's not significant where you want it to be. So you'll take significant problems instead of significant good because the significant good isn't the level you desire. If you don't give a child attention for doing something significantly good, will they do something significantly bad to get your attention? Yes or no? And what are adults? Big children emotionally. So, thank you for giving me credit for something that maybe I helped with, but I have no control over. It's all you. So, if you're suffering less, that's nice. How many achievers like nice? Like somebody said, 'That was a nice job you did.' Less is not the goal. We will not settle. Those of us who are real achievers will not leave here settling for nice, less suffering, less often. Who's with me? Who's a achiever is going to walk out of here and there's just an end to suffering? This day you'll remember it as a new birthday. And if you start to feel suffering, which you will, you will not tolerate it. You will instantly end it. Change the focus to what's true. You'll witness it go by and go, 'There's my mind.' Because that's the mind. That is not you. How many get that you're more than your mind? Say, 'I.' You'll come back in your heart and you'll remember. Look at me obsess about me. Look what my mind is doing here. I'm not doing that anymore. Been there, done that. Not going to tolerate it. What do I value more than my pain? The love of my relationship, the love of my children, the mission that I have. Let me step back into delivering something beyond myself. Because you'll hang on to your pain until you find something you value more than your pain. A woman's child is killed by a drunk driver. And she is suffering until one day she creates Mothers Against Drunk Driving and she builds an organization that's going to make sure other children don't die of that. And that mission frees her from the suffering because she took the pain and did something with it for a greater good. It doesn't make her son come back to life, but it ends the suffering because she doesn't sit and feel helpless. She does something of value. How many follow? Please continue. So you survived a terrorist attack, which most people would think is you're a blessed."

"I know."

"No, you don't. I do know and I stood up today because I don't want it anymore in my life."

"You don't want what?"

"To feel now and again because I don't, I don't live by this every day."

"I know you don't. None of us. Listen, nobody in this, I don't want to say nobody. It's not true. Most people in this room don't suffer every day."

"It's about every other day. How many find something to get frustrated, pissed off, worried, concerned about, even little things somewhat regularly? Raise your hand. How many have this happen more than once a week? Something you're concerned about, frustrated about, feel about, it's called suffering."

"Go ahead."

"What else should I say?"

"Whatever is true."

"So the worst experience was you were part of, you survived a terrorist attack. Where was it? Tell us."

"In Bombay. In Bombay. Oh, the one a few years ago. Yeah. I was in that hotel one week before that happened. Blew my mind when I saw it. So I can associate to it very easily. So, go ahead."

"Well, it's taken me many years to, um, be able to really stand up like this and even talk about it, but in the last year or so, um, I've realized I'm a much better person because of it. And that's really hard to say it because I still get flashbacks. I still get nightmares. I still feel a lot of the fear and the shit from those three days, but I am a much better person for it. My life has changed."

"In what ways are you better? By the way, give her a hand for that. That's magnificent."

"Um, my life is better because I think I'm a softer..."

person than I was before.

"Really? How are you softer and why are you softer?"

I think I was a real [ __ ] before.

"Really? Wow."

I was very hard prof, you know, a real really strong career woman, very successful and I didn't I had very little empathy, I think, even though I was brought up with a lot of empathy and and compassion, my parents, awareness of other people, but I just was like on a mission.

By the way, when you meet somebody and they're a [ __ ] or a bastard, these are highly technical terms. They're only a [ __ ] or a bastard because they're suffering. Raise your hand if you get that. You only treat other people poorly when you're in a non beautiful state.

"Yeah."

So, even though you were probably very successful is my guess. Am I right? Even though you're very successful, you still suffered. What did you suffer about in those days that made you a [ __ ]? What did you have angst about? What did you worry about? What were you stressed about? What were you fearful of? Were you angry about in those days?

"I just about being more successful."

Meaning that you weren't more than you already were. And anybody that did anything that you perceive might make you less successful or not as successful as you wanted to be or lose something that was valuable, you would what?

"I'd go mad."

And in that mad state, what would you do?

"I'd be mean."

Mean. By the way, how many saw her jaw and her face when she did that? Like she knows where to go for that [ __ ]. It was well wired.

"Did you see that?"

So you'd be mean and out of being mean, you hoped that

"I'd be in control and then I'd turn things around how I wanted them to be."

Yes. And how successful were you at that? If you get got control or the illusion thereof, by the way, does anyone in this room have control? We all have the illusion of control. You can walk outside this room, walk across the street, get hit by a car after doing everything your entire life to take care of your body and eating perfectly. Is it true?

We have zero control. We have lots of influence. We have control over one thing. The state we're going to live in. That's the only thing you have control over. Because if you can imagine, if we can get this, the whole rest of the week is going to be very different. There won't be a whole lot of my partner did this. Because you in the middle be going, "Holy [ __ ] I'm suffering because I'm focused completely on my if I actually felt what my partner is feeling, I might appreciate and understand they're going through." Or I might look at them and go, "I'm feeling upset and suffering because I'm thinking they're a hairy man that needs coaching." And they're not. They're just a masculine force. I'm really upset because I'm thinking they're an overly emotional, obsessive, multitasking man who I need to calm down and they're not. They're a feminine force. Please continue.

So, you used to want to be in control, get mean, make that happen. So, you suffered a lot then and then all of a sudden this horrific experience happened that you had no control over. And what happened?

I survived.

"Holy [ __ ]"

So I

"How many people survived?"

I don't know how many people survived, but a lot of people died.

"More died than survived, right? Like was there like 10 to one?"

"Yeah. I don't remember the exact numbers, but I think it was about 10 to one, wasn't it?"

"Yeah,"

So you were like the upper 10%. So you even an achiever in the survival category? Wow. It's pretty amazing.

"I was I was so lucky."

How did you survive?

"I um"

"Was it something you did or were you lucky?"

"I was lucky."

"Or were you blessed?"

"I was lucky. I was blessed. I was guided to let go and say, 'Okay, this is my time. Just let it go.'"

"Holy [ __ ] At the moment of death, she finally let go."

"Yeah. See, all we have to do is take all of you to the verge of death and we can get you to do this [ __ ]"

"You mean faced with no choice and realizing you had no control, you surrendered to the truth that was always there, that you're not in control. Did you go in a beautiful state?"

"Beautiful."

"What was beautiful? Tell me about it."

"It was peaceful."

"So peaceful."

"It was just I just didn't want to come back. It was so peaceful."

"It's beautiful."

"And then suddenly somebody put my mouth towards a window that they broke and I started breathing. But I was gone for a long I don't know how long."

The smoke in the building. The smoke in the building is what you're talking about. Yeah. The fire.

"It was beautiful though. At that last moment it was beautiful."

"But it wasn't your last. No. And I know that because I survived that I am blessed. And for years I've been saying, well, what is the purpose of my life? I have I survived for something. I don't know what. But my whole life has changed since then because since then and then after having met you and all these beautiful people, I just started doing so much more just to serve and help other people."

You mean the compassion you were raised with, you started to experience?

"That? I lost."

"Wow."

"I lost all of that."

All right. I'm hiring a terrorist to come in later this afternoon, kill a few of you so some of you will be grateful that you survive. Actually did something like that years ago. I took all my trainers. We used to do this 14-day program and I'd take my trainer group and I wanted to get them so they really could deliver for the rest of you and I would bring them for a week in advance and I would do all these crazy trainings and then always I would do something incredibly intense to make them grow. I took them skydiving one time and they didn't know they're going to do it. Made them believe it was something else. Did crazy [ __ ] with them. And so we're here on the we were on the big island of Hawaii. And while we're there, there was a militia that was here and it was in the newspapers. This militia pulled people over and shot some people up and kidnapped some people. And so I alluded I would give clues and the clues I gave led people to believe we were going to go shark diving. I never said that, but that was what spread like wildfire. And I told people, we're going to get in these buses. We're going to the airport. We're flying to a different portion of the island. And we all got in these buses and we drove and suddenly right near the airport we were pulled over. There was a truck in the middle of the road and they waved us over and then guys with machine guns came in, grabbed me by the hair and slammed me on the ground and started screaming and shooting and people were [ __ ] bricks and they then proceeded to tie us up and throw us in the back of trucks. And one guy was like, "Holy [ __ ] Holy fuck." You got to see. See, everybody has something if you're here. Some people it's fire. Some people it's tall buildings and jumping off [ __ ] I just figured might as well get reality in here, too. So, I hired these Navy Seals to do this. And they took us to the airport and then they untied us and go, "This is phase one of your training." Some people were upset with me. I didn't understand why. True story. And then we all got in helicopters. They take took us to the volcano area and dropped everybody off to do this hike. And the fog was so strong that they couldn't drop us in the one spot. So we ended up having a 9hour hike into 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning to get the location instead of a 30 minute hike. And I was on the whole trip except that I even flew there to drop everybody off including my son and my spouse at the time and because I wanted them to have this experience and I so wanted to do this but I had to go do the opening practice which was hour after hour and I kept going on the radios like at midnight 1 2 in the morning and no one's responding and then all I hear is [ __ ] you Tony Robbins. [ __ ] you you [ __ ] in the pitch black having to drag some of the people who were out of shape up the side of this [ __ ] volcano for miles and miles in the pitch black light night at 5:30 in the morning. The sun was rising. They arrived back. I was standing there when they all arrived and they were like so [ __ ] emboldened. They were like, "We're [ __ ] unstoppable." And the story of what they did got bigger and bigger and bigger. It was big enough. And they were some of the most powerful trainers I have. In fact, Tad was there. A couple of people were there. They were there at that time. Give Tad a big hand. Was that process, right? [Applause] He had hair before that trip. It was an amazing thing. It was just quite extraordinary. So, I might do something to make sure that you don't lose this lesson. I'd prefer if you did it the easy way. It's all up to you.

You raised your hand though, saying, "First of all, what you shared is so beautiful, and I get the authenticity of it, including the letting go moment and the beauty of it. In fact, later in the week, I'm going to share with you I've had a fear of death at some level my whole life. I think it's part of why I was trying to squeeze everything in. Recently, I had an experience that took that fear away forever. It's one of the greatest freeing experiences of my life. And experience like what you had frees you from that fear. But you raise your hand saying you didn't see how you created the suffering. So I'm confused."

Because for for obviously for a number of years I've been in therapy for this and my last and one of my best therapists has taken me through the whole OPO bono um treatment to pass the oppo bono that I love you thank you forgive me and that is based on as you know better than me that we're responsible for what happens to us in our life.

"100% responsible."

Not what happens to us what we experience. How many hear the difference there? You can't always control what happens to you but you can control your experience of life. That's the difference. If you confuse those, you'll get very frustrated because you go, "I can't control this. This was done to me." The thing would have been unto you, but your experience of it. Nelson Mandela, they did it to him, but he didn't have an experience of being done to. He took advantage of the time to transform. He experienced beautiful states every day. Do you feel the difference between those two?

"I absolutely do. And I don't I mean [ __ ] you know, six years of therapy and I didn't get it."

No, you did, honey. That you didn't. What? They didn't bring you to the point of doing it. I wouldn't have done either because it's like there's an old story about Gandhi. There's a woman who comes to Gandhi and her son is addicted to sugar, which is kind of inconvenient because he had what disease? Diabetes. He's going to die. He's addicted to sugar. The mother is worried. So she's got to find a way and only he won't listen to her. So finally he figures out the solution. She says, "We will go to Gandhi because he worships Gandhi and I'll ask Gandhi to tell him to stop eating sugar and if he says it to him, he'll stop." So she goes, if you've been to India and ever been on an Indian train, it's like hell on earth squeezed together. She does three days of train rides to get where Gandhi is. Waits all day in the Daron for thousands of people. When she gets to Gandhi, she says, "Oh, Mahatma, will you please help my son? He's a diabetic. He's eating sugar. He's going to die. But if you tell him to stop, he will stop." And Gandhi looks at the boy and turns back to the mother and says, "Come back to me in three months." She says, "Mahatma, we've traveled for three days. We live in a far village. I can't come back in 3 months." He said, "Come back in 3 months." He was not nice. He was not warm. He commanded her to come back in 3 months. And she was so angry and took three days to get home again. And her son's still eating sugar. And she's so angry. But in the end, she loves her son. She believes it's the only way to heal him is Gandhi tell him. That's the only that's going to stop him because he worships Gandhi. So months later she takes three days of trip. She comes stands in line all day gets up to Gandhi and says, "Remember me." He says, "Will you tell me?" He says, "Yes." He says, "Stop eating sugar now." The boy goes, "Yes. Yes, mama. Yes, ma'am. Yes, mama." He stops eating sugar. The mother is pissed. She got what she wanted, but she's pissed. Why is she pissed? Because why the [ __ ] didn't he do it the first time when they drove all this way? Why do we three months? Why'd you have to go through all this [ __ ]? Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, 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me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me,100% responsible.

"I just about being more successful."

"I'd go mad."

"I'd be mean."

"I'd be in control and then I'd turn things around how I wanted them to be."

"Holy [ __ ]"

"How many people survived?"

"Yeah. I don't remember the exact numbers, but I think it was about 10 to one, wasn't it?"

"I was I was so lucky."

"I was lucky."

"I was lucky. I was blessed. I was guided to let go and say, 'Okay, this is my time. Just let it go.'"

"Holy [ __ ]"

"Yeah."

"Beautiful."

"It was peaceful."

"It was just I just didn't want to come back. It was so peaceful."

"It's beautiful."

"The smoke in the building. The smoke in the building is what you're talking about. Yeah. The fire."

"It was beautiful though. At that last moment it was beautiful."

"No. And I know that because I survived that I am blessed. And for years I've been saying, well, what is the purpose of my life? I have I survived for something. I don't know what. But my whole life has changed since then because since then and then after having met you and all these beautiful people, I just started doing so much more just to serve and help other people."

"That? I lost."

"Wow."

"I lost all of that."

All right. I'm hiring a terrorist to come in later this afternoon, kill a few of you so some of you will be grateful that you survive. Actually did something like that years ago. I took all my trainers. We used to do this 14-day program and I'd take my trainer group and I wanted to get them so they really could deliver for the rest of you and I would bring them for a week in advance and I would do all these crazy trainings and then always I would do something incredibly intense to make them grow. I took them skydiving one time and they didn't know they're going to do it. Made them believe it was something else. Did crazy [ __ ] with them. And so we're here on the we were on the big island of Hawaii. And while we're there, there was a militia that was here and it was in the newspapers. This militia pulled people over and shot some people up and kidnapped some people. And so I alluded I would give clues and the clues I gave led people to believe we were going to go shark diving. I never said that, but that was what spread like wildfire. And I told people, we're going to get in these buses. We're going to the airport. We're flying to a different portion of the island. And we all got in these buses and we drove and suddenly right near the airport we were pulled over. There was a truck in the middle of the road and they waved us over and then guys with machine guns came in, grabbed me by the hair and slammed me on the ground and started screaming and shooting and people were [ __ ] bricks and they then proceeded to tie us up and throw us in the back of trucks. And one guy was like, "Holy [ __ ] Holy fuck." You got to see. See, everybody has something if you're here. Some people it's fire. Some people it's tall buildings and jumping off [ __ ] I just figured might as well get reality in here, too. So, I hired these Navy Seals to do this. And they took us to the airport and then they untied us and go, "This is phase one of your training." Some people were upset with me. I didn't understand why. True story. And then we all got in helicopters. They take took us to the volcano area and dropped everybody off to do this hike. And the fog was so strong that they couldn't drop us in the one spot. So we ended up having a 9hour hike into 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning to get the location instead of a 30 minute hike. And I was on the whole trip except that I even flew there to drop everybody off including my son and my spouse at the time and because I wanted them to have this experience and I so wanted to do this but I had to go do the opening practice which was hour after hour and I kept going on the radios like at midnight 1 2 in the morning and no one's responding and then all I hear is [ __ ] you Tony Robbins. [ __ ] you you [ __ ] in the pitch black having to drag some of the people who were out of shape up the side of this [ __ ] volcano for miles and miles in the pitch black light night at 5:30 in the morning. The sun was rising. They arrived back. I was standing there when they all arrived and they were like so [ __ ] emboldened. They were like, "We're [ __ ] unstoppable." And the story of what they did got bigger and bigger and bigger. It was big enough. And they were some of the most powerful trainers I have. In fact, Tad was there. A couple of people were there. They were there at that time. Give Tad a big hand. Was that process, right? [Applause] He had hair before that trip. It was an amazing thing. It was just quite extraordinary. So, I might do something to make sure that you don't lose this lesson. I'd prefer if you did it the easy way. It's all up to you.

You raised your hand though, saying, "First of all, what you shared is so beautiful, and I get the authenticity of it, including the letting go moment and the beauty of it. In fact, later in the week, I'm going to share with you I've had a fear of death at some level my whole life. I think it's part of why I was trying to squeeze everything in. Recently, I had an experience that took that fear away forever. It's one of the greatest freeing experiences of my life. And experience like what you had frees you from that fear. But you raise your hand saying you didn't see how you created the suffering. So I'm confused."

Because for for obviously for a number of years I've been in therapy for this and my last and one of my best therapists has taken me through the whole OPO bono um treatment to pass the oppo bono that I love you thank you forgive me and that is based on as you know better than me that we're responsible for what happens to us in our life.

"100% responsible."

Not what happens to us what we experience. How many hear the difference there? You can't always control what happens to you but you can control your experience of life. That's the difference. If you confuse those, you'll get very frustrated because you go, "I can't control this. This was done to me." The thing would have been unto you, but your experience of it. Nelson Mandela, they did it to him, but he didn't have an experience of being done to. He took advantage of the time to transform. He experienced beautiful states every day. Do you feel the difference between those two?

"I absolutely do. And I don't I mean [ __ ] you know, six years of therapy and I didn't get it."

No, you did, honey. That you didn't. What? They didn't bring you to the point of doing it. I wouldn't have done either because it's like there's an old story about Gandhi. There's a woman who comes to Gandhi and her son is addicted to sugar, which is kind of inconvenient because he had what disease? Diabetes. He's going to die. He's addicted to sugar. The mother is worried. So she's got to find a way and only he won't listen to her. So finally he figures out the solution. She says, "We will go to Gandhi because he worships Gandhi and I'll ask Gandhi to tell him to stop eating sugar and if he says it to him, he'll stop." So she goes, if you've been to India and ever been on an Indian train, it's like hell on earth squeezed together. She does three days of train rides to get where Gandhi is. Waits all day in the Daron for thousands of people. When she gets to Gandhi, she says, "Oh, Mahatma, will you please help my son? He's a diabetic. He's eating sugar. He's going to die. But if you tell him to stop, he will stop." And Gandhi looks at the boy and turns back to the mother and says, "Come back to me in three months." She says, "Mahatma, we've traveled for three days. We live in a far village. I can't come back in 3 months." He said, "Come back in 3 months." He was not nice. He was not warm. He commanded her to come back in 3 months. And she was so angry and took three days to get home again. And her son's still eating sugar. And she's so angry. But in the end, she loves her son. She believes it's the only way to heal him is Gandhi tell him. That's the only that's going to stop him because he worships Gandhi. So months later she takes three days of trip. She comes stands in line all day gets up to Gandhi and says, "Remember me." He says, "Will you tell me?" He says, "Yes." He says, "Stop eating sugar now." The boy goes, "Yes. Yes, mama. Yes, ma'am. Yes, mama." He stops eating sugar. The mother is pissed. She got what she wanted, but she's pissed. Why is she pissed? Because why the [ __ ] didn't he do it the first time when they drove all this way? Why do we three months? Why'd you have to go through all this [ __ ]? Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, 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prove by not being upset or by not being in a suffering state along with them and actively is egging you on and kind of pushing you into a corner. Um, I realized that, you know, would you say that some of that is I need to ask myself or we should ask ourselves a question like, uh, you know, what am I what am I accusing them of or h how would you deal with that kind of thing?

>> Can you give me just an example? Is there anything that comes to your mind? Are you thinking of something specific?

Well, if you know with this whole situation the uh the co 19 situation personally and I'm sure a lot of us here are trying to stay positive trying to look on the brighter side of things and then there are individuals in my family who we're all spending a lot of time with right now who are much more deeply affected by the news.

>> Yes. and almost take a personal offense like I'm personally offending them by trying to imply that this is >> something you know there's a positive side or there's something to look uh you know to to uh reflect on things differently. Of course. Of course.

>> You know, I um a couple things. I think, you know, a lot of times we think that uh you know, we have to fight for what we believe or what we feel even if there's a higher truth to it. And um I think, you know, uh a lot of people just want to be heard right now and they're scared. And so if it's your mom, like my mom, you know, I'll call her and at the beginning my mama, you know, she's watching the news and there's an innocence there because we can get hypnotized. You know, I don't mean like crazy hypnotized. I just mean the hypnosis of the fear and of the and my mom will call me and she's like, "Honey, like are you, you know what I mean?" And she, you know, all and at first I was like, "Mom, like we're fine." I mean, God made these bodies of ours intelligent, you know, with amazing immune systems. Not that we don't have to be mindful and, you know, wash our hands and but hopefully we're serving these bodies of our more than just washing our hands. you know, there's an opportunity to, I think, be our best selves and be our our most healthiest selves by serving our bodies and when we do, they serve us. Uh, that's my experience.

Um, I try to be mindful to share less of my beliefs. Uh, because it's it's it's a charged time right now. And, you know, when I'm I'm listening to my mom rather than, you know, just saying, "Mom, no." I'm just like, "Mom, I hear you right now." And you know what? It is it is a scary right time right now, but you know what? and then I'll share my experience of something, you know, rather than you shouldn't. And then because otherwise there's this weird defense and we become just like the media. It's two opinions. My I feel this and I feel this. And the truth is they both exist. There's truth in both. You know, there's truth in both perspectives.

Um and uh I think it's just having compassion for where people are at because uh there's such a group mind of you know the contagion of fear right now and and uh the reality of you know everything that's happening in hospitals and you know people have families that are care workers and you know uh they're they're worried about them of course naturally um so I think it's just a unique time but I think it's more of a time to once again to practice beautiful state and to bring the attribute utes of you know listening and and and and uh presence and and appreciation for their perspective. Uh because honestly I think the love that compassion and that love moves people. It opens people. It turns down the volume of their fear that they could actually hear.

>> Do you know what I mean? If you come from the place of this is no this is no this is it. Then you then you're just going like this and it gets a little muddled and weird and then you have this resistance internally. just bring your beautiful self and bring your vitality and your well-being and the example of of however you're living your life, people will feel that that's palpable. And I think that that's the example. I think by embodying um you know uh beautiful state and by catching yourself and bringing that sweetness to life, you know, to your family, especially if they're not feeling that. I think that's the kindest thing that we can do right now,

>> you know, to be that bomb, to be that um that ear, to be that love, to be understanding, to uh offer compassion. Uh because people, you know, there's not a lot of where can really people go right now to take that drink. You know, normally people go to church throughout the weekend or go to AA groups or go to support groups. So I think the one of the beautiful gifts of this is it's forcing the hand of the nucleus of the family to come together you know and to offer that compassion and that if you think if you go to a support group what are you doing we're listening you know we're sharing we're giving of ourselves you know there's consideration and I think that that's probably the kindest way to navigate it has been for me you know um and and by the way and I'm not perfect I I can still get hooked you know but I just catch myself and you just catch yourself. You just practice and and and offer um offer something that you know a lot of people don't have a place to go and experience which is compassion, understanding and kindness.

>> Thank you very much.

>> Of course. Of course.

>> Beautiful. Couple more.

>> Sure. One more. Sure. Absolutely.

>> This is wonderful. It's so true. We're all worried about our families. We have this gift of beautiful state and our families might not.

>> That's ex It's one of the most beautiful gifts you guys that you can give your families. I just it's just a blessing. It's just it's the sest and kindest way to live.

>> I think is that a video question from Michelle? Hey Michelle, can you hear us?

>> Hi.

>> Hi everybody. Um

>> so nice to see you

>> Sage. Thank you so much for putting this together. Um I first of all I want to say thank you and and you and Tony have changed my life and and I'm so appreciative. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

>> Thank you.

>> Um I I just had a quick question. I I find myself um you know with judgmental you know being judgmental, judging other people um specifically judging myself um

>> heavily sometimes and what would be your kind of um recommendation on on how to improve that and how to judge people less, judge yourself less.

>> Yes. Well, it usually starts internally uh and then it externalizes. So I hear you on that, Michelle. Um for my own experience, you know, about uh two years ago, uh I was diagnosed with a pituitary tumor and I had some health challenges and uh I realized at that time my body needed me. Um and beyond the body just like this being in me like little Bonnie Pearl inside of me like we all have the innocence of the child part of ourselves that's so yearning to be seen and loved. And uh I didn't realize what a boss I was to myself. I didn't realize how much I was just so commanding and demanding of myself uh and unconsciously judgmental of myself. Uh and so this sounds crazy, but I'm just going to share what I do because it really works for me.

Um number one, hop on. Uh I'm a big believer in uh hopa hono. It's a beautiful practice. And if I feel pain in my body, if I feel discord in my body, I'll literally I'll be just I love you. Thank you. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. And I'll just touch like parts of you know my belly or my legs or my arms or whatever wherever I feel tension just to once again get more ease and get more breath in my being.

Um and then you know if this is silly but I'm sharing it. Um if I get out of the shower and say I'm putting moisturizer on I'll talk to myself now. I'll be like all right sweetheart you know and I I I call myself sweetheart. I know this sounds crazy, but it's like I just feel like I'm such a compassionate person on the external and I'm such a giver and a lover and I didn't realize how I missed uh me in there you know at times and it really woke me up uh you know that whole path of losing my health and then gaining it back. I think part of that holism was realize real realizing just you know and I I still hear trouble talk of the mind or doubt or judgment because once again mind does what it does. I just don't listen to it. I don't give it the same energy and I'll reassure myself. I think you know a lot of times we're looking for this external source to reassure us.

Um and I think shoot we may as well start here. It's the easiest quickest shortage. You're removing the the middleman. And I found it to be really um I don't know I just I have such a different relationship with myself today because of that self-t talk uh and kindness and actually beyond kindness. It's actually sweetness. I'll I'll talk to myself like the little, you know, Bonnie Pearl in me, like just the little child in me. And I'll and if I, you know, like I remember when I wasn't feeling well and I was feeling so frustrated with where I was. And then I pictured if I was like five years old, I would have such compassion for that little child. You know, I'd want to care for her. I'd want to give to her. I'd want to serve her. I'd want to love her. Uh, and here I was in my mind being like, "Get out of bed. Don't be so lazy." D. Um, and so it was a process and it didn't happen overnight, but it happened slowly and uh, you know, it's it's it's been kinder inside of me because of that. And that's just that's my own experience and I hope that that's helpful.

>> You too. Thank you, Michelle. God bless you guys.

>> Thank you, Michelle. I see one more in here

>> from Jordan. Jordan, we see you in the Q&A. Thank you. Can you speak to this stage? She says this song list that they got your playlist. So the song list that you sent out the other day was so beautiful and very helpful to restore a sense of balance. Yes.

>> Please share the power of music in times of strife and joy. Happy Easter. God bless. Talk about music because we've said so much in this house.

>> And Jordan, I'm so happy you you uh asked this. Uh and I'm so happy you guys got the playlist. Um I'll share more along the way as I as I make them if you if you like. Uh but you know one thing as far as you know beautiful state or um you know being a beautiful human being a lot of people uh you know have no awareness in their home that uh you know the notion of cultivating harmony and uh you know my home our home here it's a sanctuary and uh but I have that intention you know I like I I'll you know we have an altar and I'll light my candles and my incense and I'll have a aroma therapy and music you know music is such a uh it is I don't know it creates a coherence it creates it fills the space in a beautiful way uh and you know we have um a couple Pandora stations uh I'm sure you've heard of um tones called like solegio tunes they create a internal like um a brain wave balancing and there's a couple uh there's one called sofio harmonics I think it's 435 that they have on Pandora there's another one called binarial piece and it's music, but it's not really music. Like it's it's you know, sometimes they're like um you know those uh crystal yeah toning bowls and and just different type of sound that creates like a harmonious uh experience and we have that in our home all the time. And then I'll I'll you know during dinner time or on a Saturday or Sunday I'll play a playlist like you know I sent out to you. But I think music it it opens us you know it creates a coherence. it it reminds us, you know, it it expands the mind beyond what it's seeing at the time because it's like all of a sudden it drops you into your body and you're feeling. Uh so we use mu I mean music is literally playing in our home almost 247. Not loud blaring music even though sometimes we do like the other night we had music going. We're all having a dance party and and exercising and it was wonderful but uh I think it's different textures but I think use music as a vehicle to open you. It's a physiology piece. Uh but it's also as much as it be physiology to move like it would say at an event, it's also physiology to soothe. And uh I think you know whether it be scent, old faction, uh music, um you know, incense and and uh or anything, you know, essential oils, it creates it creates a harmony. That's the only way I know how to, you know, create it creates a coherence, I think, is probably a more accurate description. And sound is definitely one of those vehicles. It's a currency of energy it emits. And no different than we affect each other, so does music affect us because there's, you know, um it's it's a shift in in in energy, I guess, is probably the most accurate way to describe it. I'm so grateful you're talking about that because you know our platinum partners know Tony always teaches submodalities and VAK and visual auditory kinesesthetic and you're teaching them about some of the things that we do you know in the home that puts the Tony's teachings right into practice with their loved ones which is so great and also mentioning the Pandora one. that there's questions in here about biocharger, which not everyone might have a biocharger, but the Pandora binaural piece, for example, it's the same hertz that you might put on a biocharger recipe, but you can have that right in through music. So, there's other ways

>> to harmonize. Do you want

>> No, that that's absolutely so. And if you don't have a biocharger, you don't have a fireplace, if it's too hot, if it's too cold, light a candle. You know, I think there's just something just having that intention or that ritual uh that you know, it just brings the sacred into the day-to-day life. And we're we're quarantined in our homes, you may as well make it a beautiful place to be, you know, and turning on a Pandora channel and lighting a candle that costs nothing, you know,

>> it's just the intention of it.

>> Pattern interrupt of it. That's great. You want to take one more? People are asking about their kids. Zena here. We see it's a lot of people are home homeschooling their children. Any advice for folks who are getting a little more resistance than usual as parents?

>> Well, gosh, I have no little ones. I have little ones through uh nieces and and loved ones. Uh but I think, you know, it's the same piece. I think sometimes if you think of a lot of times we think that children are there to only be obedient or listen to us. uh but they are their own selves and uh they're intelligent beyond our own understanding and they respond to our presence by our field and I think once again if you bring beautiful state and you give context of why you want them to do something you give uh context and as well consequence if they choose not to um you know I think uh you know if we can meet them where they are and bring our best self I think that will invoke more of their best self to come to the table. Not always, not perfectly. They're going to be in discord. They're going to be frustrated. They're going to be having their own experience, but I think um you know, we can move anybody more through our own uh you know, of of our presence and our beautiful state more than anything because what happens sometimes is you know, you need to go do this and they don't do it and they have resistance. Then you know the parent we get resistance and once again you're going like this and then it's just resistance amongst resistance and it feels yuck. It feels yuck to the kids and it feels yuck to us.

Um, so I think catching that and I think, you know, uh, children are are reasonable when we're reasonable with them and and we I think, you know, meeting them where they are and like I said, they're um they're more intelligent than sometimes we we perceive them to be. And I think when we can meet with them from that perspective and and offer our hearts, uh, it melts them. And I think from that place, it's it's easier. It doesn't have to be so much of a negotiation. It can be a cooperation.

>> Beautiful. Lots of

>> well you guys listen I just I it's such a treat and a pleasure and and a gift to be with you all. Thank you and uh you know God bless everybody this weekend and uh you know may the sacred live beyond this weekend in your lives and the holiness and the beauty and that this beautiful state comes alive in you um and blesses your life and those around you because that's been my experience. Uh Tony extends his love and to all of you and and blessings and I look forward to seeing you and I'll as I um create another playlist here. I'll I'll be sure I love that you guys are enjoying that. I'll be sure to share it. Okay. God bless and and uh till we see you again. Okay.

>> All right. Well, was that a special treat or what? Come on everybody. If you're not in a beautiful state now, you are not with us. And we are getting closer and closer where you will be able to officially commit to living in a beautiful state each and every day of the year and commit to eradicating suffering from your life. I bet you can feel it. There's something going on inside you. Particularly if you've never made this commitment before, you can feel it. It's getting stronger and stronger. And we're gonna jump right into an exercise. And uh you know with with Sage on what a what a gift you know uh Sage and I have been uh soul brothers and sisters since I first met her. Uh she is an amazing amazing human being. Uh her wisdom definitely rivals that of Tony's and uh you know just a real blessing gift to have her on the call. All right. So the exercise is to think about a typical week for you and write down all of the empowering emotions or positive emotions or uplifting emotions that you have in a given week as well as all of the disempowering emotions or negative emotions or suffering state kind of emotions that you have in a given week. This is just to get in touch with the emotions that you're feeling because we all have an emotional home. We all have an emotional home and as Tony often says, some people need to move. All right? Some people need to move and get themselves into a different place. So, we're going to do a quick a quick checkin. Positive empowering emotions, disempowering, negative emotions. There's going to be two columns. If you got your workbook, great. If not, just draw a line down the middle of the page. Matt, you can go ahead and put that slide up. I'm going to give you three minutes. Count them. One, two, three. All right, go.

[Music]

Real love is where I found my life. You glow in my heart. You glow in my heart. You glow in my heart.

[Music]

You are in my heart. Ever since I've known your love, you turned my life around. Ever since I saw your heart,

>> my feet can't touch the ground cuz you rad.

[Music]

You fill my heart again. The grace it never ends. I know that you're with me. Take me to a new horizon. I've never known a joy. vibr love is where I found my life. You glow in my heart.

[Music]

You glow in my heart. Okay. And let's now look at those emotions that you have on your disempowering side and think of a positive emotions really powerful emotions uh that you know if you added them to your list it would make a difference to you. It would help you combat. It would help you fight against. It would help you overcome. It would help you blow away those disempowering emotions. particularly if you have the um emotions uh on on that suffering side. And you know these these kinds of emotions, this is not like an approved list. I'm just going to throw out some ideas to get you thinking. They could be things like love, acceptance, strength, gratitude, confidence, joy, humor, passion, courage. So now just add add a couple of of really powerful emotions that you would like to add onto that empowering side of the equation. Add those on there.

>> Just like a seed in a garden,

[Music]

you will grow to be staring out over miles of land without it wanting to build up walls. Lift me up in your branches. We can watch the sun rise. Just a couple of bruised up souls and believe that it was worth one more try. With every star we are born again. Open your heart and spend the last time in your head with every star. We are born again.

[Music]

And you know, remember way back in the beginning, we talked about the three levels of mastery. The first level of mastery was what kind of mastery? Cognitive mastery, thinking, understanding. The second level of mastery was emotional mastery. You got it. And this next portion is really designed to amp up the emotional mastery to get you to feel feel this in every cell of your body. And so what we're going to do is let's everybody stand up. I know I can't see a lot of you, but you can know whether you're standing up or not. Adjust my my camera here. So, you're standing up and Tony has what he calls a power move. Calls a power move. And uh again, we're going to be putting the uh uh the plats. Hey, but before that, I'm just curious. Sanjay, would you be willing to share your two power emotions? The two things that you said were going to uh you knew it would make a difference for you. First of all, let's give Sanjay a round of applause. Come on, let me hear you.

>> Okay, so hi everyone. I'm calling in from Germany? So my two power emotions are definitely uh gratitude and contribution.

>> Gratitude and contribution. And so when you think about that just being in that state of gratitude and contribution, what does how does that make you feel?

>> So whenever I'm in in gratitude, I can I'm I'm not thinking about myself. I'm thinking about giving about contributing and about just being really blessed to be where I am and to be able to experience this moment. uh the experience, the people I'm with um and just to know that I'm very lucky to be here at this time where I am right now. There's a lot of people that would uh wish they were where they are or where we are. You know, um we live in Europe at the moment. There's lots of people trying to cross the borders to get into Europe and um I feel very very grateful to have this opportunity of where I live and what I do.

>> Beautiful. Thank you very much for sharing. Let's give Sanjay a round of applause. Come on, let him hear you. And as I said, Tony has this thing called a power move. And you can do whatever feels right for you. I'm gonna actually ask all the plats who are on camera. We're gonna put them on on the screen and and we're all gonna just do our power move. Mine is real simple. Mine's just yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I squeeze my right hand and I say yes. And I do that for a whole bunch of different reasons which make no difference to anybody. There's no right or wrong. Tony has this thing. Yes. He hits his chest. You want to be careful of you know you don't hurt yourself. And uh you know different people have different things. But it's remembering what we said at the very beginning. Motion, motion creates emotion. And we want to tap into this emotion. And so when we start this exercise, when this video runs, we're all going to be standing on our feet. And Tony's going to be saying, "Make your move." And whatever that looks like. So let's all on the count of three, we're going to get all the plats on on uh on camera that are that are on camera. Uh, and we're going to make our power move and we're going to celebrate for about three and a half seconds and then we're going to run the video. And you want to be totally in state. You want to be like on top of your computer. Get into it, people. We're coming down the home stretch. This is it. All right. Here we go. Make your move.

[Music]

Stay standing. Make your move.

>> Make your move. Make your move. Say yes. Say yes. Say yes. Make the sound of unstoppable intensity. Go as loud as you can. Go.

>> Do it again. Even stronger. Make the sound. Go.

[Music]

>> Do it again. Enjoy the sound. Go.

[Applause]

>> Make a move. Make a move. Make your move. Make your move. Make your move. Say yes. Say yes. Make the sound. Go.

[Music]

>> Do it again. Enjoy it. Go.

>> One more time. Give it all you got. Go. Say yes. Say yes. Say yes. Say yes. How many of you decided to either move or enhance your [ __ ] home? Say, "I."

>> I.

>> How many have made a bunch of enhancements, a bunch of things that will take it to another level? Say, "I."

>> I.

>> How many have found the antidote to suffering and a couple of emotions that can get you out of it in a heartbeat? How many figured them out? Say, "I."

>> I.

>> What's one of them?

>> What's another one?

>> Now, the key is you're going to put a word in front of those two. be. Or better yet, I am.

>> Say, "I am." And that emotion and express it in your body as if you were living it right now. Pick one of them and do it. Go.

>> Do it again. Do it again. Do it again. Do it and feel it. Do it again and enjoy it. Do it 10 times. Every time. Find a way to be stronger. Go. Enjoy it. Go.

[Applause]

Three more times. Go.

[Applause]

>> One more time. Go.

>> Now do the second power emotion. I am. 10 times. Give it all you got. Say it, but feel it and express it with your eyes and body. Go.

[Applause]

Do it again.

>> Do it again.

>> Do it again.

>> Do it again.

>> Do it again.

>> Do it again. Three more times. Make it stronger. Make it more enjoyable. One more time. Go.

Now >> in this state, >> in these emotional states, >> will you suffer? Yes or no?

>> Can you really go in these states at will? Yes or no?

>> You can if it's what you are.

>> Now, here's the question. How many see that the only way to have extraordinary quality of life is not to achieve more. You don't need to limit your achievement, but that's not going to do it. How many get it's all about living in a beautiful state? How many get that's true?

>> If you live in a beautiful state, what kind of relationships will you have?

>> Awesome. Beautiful. Magnificent, [ __ ] magnificent. Who's with me on this? Say, I.

>> And if it's the wrong person and you live in a magnificent state, it'll become clear at some point and you'll just make a new choice. And if you're alone and you live in a magn magnificent state, you won't stay alone. half a billion people like a kid who can find a way to enjoy himself. You got to remember the powerful of the beautiful state. It cannot be expressed enough. So now it's time to actually [ __ ] decide. Are you really willing to commit and you don't have to for you that from this day [ __ ] forward suffering ends. That means if you start to you kill it. You see it arising and you go, you know what? This is [ __ ] I won't tolerate it. You change your state. You put yourself in one of your antidote states or you focus not on your what? And by the way, one of the ways you can do it is just become aware of it. Look at this. I'm [ __ ] suffering. And it's all about who me. Great thing is I can get out of that how fast, my friends. How fast? But if you blame anything or anyone else, you've lost the game. The only way to be free is to decide to be 100% responsible for your experience of life. Not what happens, your experience. Can you always find a way

>> to appreciate or enjoy? Yes or no?

>> Put them up here. These are the three antidotes. The three ways you get in pain is to focus on how something is either causing you not to get what you want or never get what you want or have less of what you want or to feel you've lost something you want. By the way, what are the things that make people most crazy to suffer when they feel like they'll never have significance? Or something happened and I'm going to have less significance or because this happened, you did this, I did this, we did this, I've lost significance. What else will people do to make themselves suffer? Any of the other six needs. If you think when this happens, I'll never have love or because this happens I have potentially less love or because this happened I lost the love. If you feel like because of something your certainty, you'll never have that certainty or you'll have less certainty or you've lost certainty. If any of the six needs in your perception meet those three criteria, you will [ __ ] suffer. And it's because you're focusing on yourself and you're making a temporary moment permanent. How many follow say I. So the antidote solution to loss less never is really simple. All you got to do is appreciate and enjoy. If you can go straight to enjoy otherwise appreciate. Anyone can appreciate. Find something. So now the question is, are you willing to make a real decision after this day with all the examples you've seen? Are you willing to acknowledge first what you probably have never acknowledged before? That you have lived in suffering much more than you've ever admitted. That you've managed your suffering rather than actually eliminate it. How many own that? Are you willing to also own that the suffering in your relationship is created by only one person? You. How many buy that is totally true? No matter what your partner has done to suffer, you've got to suffer. Say I.

>> I.

>> And the question is, are will you willing to make the decision right [ __ ] now? A real decision. Which means you cut off any possibility going back. There's no excuses. There's no reason. There's no nobility in [ __ ] suffering. We all know we're going to experience pain. Pain is part of life. Suffering is a [ __ ] choice. And suffering will arise because you're human. But it will arise and you will destroy it as it arrives as you would if someone is coming into your home to murder your [ __ ] children because these states murder the quality of your life. Is it true?

>> They murder relationships. They murder joy. Are you willing to make the decision in your soul that there's no [ __ ] excuses that you're going to live and you're going to find enjoyment in anything or appreciation in anything or some learning that can give you a beautiful state in anything or some growth that'll do it or something you can give or something you can love or something you can be grateful for every day, all day, all night and whenever you're not. instead of beating yourself up, you'll get excited like, "Wow, look at that suffering [ __ ] I don't [ __ ] do it anymore." That you'll actually catch yourself. And catching yourself will not be what's wrong with me. Catching yourself will mean you're [ __ ] awake. I had a friend years ago. I shared this at Date with Destiny one time, years ago, friend of mine, totally loved his mom and dad. Grew up very poor. His mom and dad lived in the same house for 45 years. He grew up. He did well. And decided one Christmas to send his parents to Hawaii. True story. Sent him here for a week. Told them, "Have a great time. When you come back, we'll celebrate Christmas together." While they're gone, he bought them a house in a place they wanted to live. A home four times the size, unbelievably beautiful, on the water in Maryland, and very excited to have them come home. and he didn't want anyone else to move them since they didn't know they were moving. Can you imagine some stranger messing with their stuff and when you live a place for 45 years, you collect a lot of [ __ ] So he called his sister and said, "You and I are going to pack things together. They don't even know. We're not just going to find the new house. We're going to move them into the new house. So when they come up, we'll pick them from the airport and say, "I want to show you my friend's new house." And we'll go over on my family's new house or our new house. We'll figure out the right strategy, but we'll take them to their home and when they go in, they'll realize it's their home because they'll see it's their [ __ ] It'll shock them. They will be out of their mind. Nice plan.

>> Sort of. So, he and his sister spend three days packing everything up, not realizing that any humans could collect this much [ __ ] in 45 years. They load a giant U-Haul truck that he has rented. And when they load it up, it fills up and they still have more. So, they have to go get a trailer to attach to this big ass truck, which he figures how to do. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking cuz he thought it would take a day to pack them, not three days. They're behind. And now a snowstorm happens. And he's got to get this done. and they finally pack it up and he's now got to drive this truck. And he's not a truck driver. And he's now attached this extension to the truck to put all the rest of the stuff in. And what does he do? He says to his sister, "Holy [ __ ] I think I've wired this up, but I'm going to go here and I'm going to put on the brakes. You got to go back to that extension truck and tell me when I push on the brakes, do the lights come on?" Because imagine if you push on the brakes and the lights only go on the truck and not the extension. Someone's not going to see it and they're going to slam into us. You got to make sure it's working. She says, "No problem." She goes to the back and he goes, "Okay, yell to me. Let me know if it's working." Pushes on the brake. She goes, "It's working. It's working. It's working." He goes, "Awesome. Now I'm going to do the turn signal." She goes, "It's working. Now it's not. It's working. Now it's not. It's working. Now it's not." He gets out of the truck. He says, "What the [ __ ] is the matter with you? What are you talking about?" about. She goes, "It's working now. It's not." And goes, "That's how you know a turn signal is working." When you see it's not when you see it go on and off, that's how you know it's working. When you see that you're suffering, instead of beating yourself up, you'll go, "Ah, my turn signal is working." Not, "It's working now. It's not." Seeing it's not working is it's working. It means you woke the [ __ ] up. It means you're driving the Bugatti and not a [ __ ] car unconsciously at 20 miles an hour. It means you can [ __ ] fly if you want. Who's with me here? Say I.

>> I.

>> So the question is,

>> make your move.

>> Make your move.

>> Make your move.

>> Make your move.

>> The most important decision of your life is not who you're going to marry or not.

>> The most important decision in your life is not what you're going to do for a living. The most important decision is not how much money you're going to make or not make. It's not the name of your child. It's whether or not you're going to live in a beautiful state. Cuz everything else is up for grabs. This is the one thing you can control. And if you do, you will have a magnificent life. And if you do, you'll have magnificent relationships. And if you do, you'll attract magnificent people. How many get this to be true? Say, "I." Then in 10 seconds you can decide. But I don't want you to decide. I want you to decide by making a move in your body of total [ __ ] resolve. If you want to, if you really will, if you're willing to hold yourself to the standard, not beat yourself up. That's the hold of the standard. It means if you find you're not in a beautiful state, you just simply what? Change it. How fast? And you make no excuses. You don't beat yourself up. You don't beat up your partner. You just think of all the beautiful states you could be. You appreciate or you enjoy or you learn or you grow or you love or you give or you're grateful. How fast can these be done? If you don't make this decision, what will the price be?

>> For how long? If you do make the decision and you make it in your soul, it's absolute resolve. Who's made a decision before in your life you struggle with? You told yourself you're going to do it and you didn't do it. You didn't do it till one [ __ ] day you [ __ ] did it. Who's done this before? Say I. Put yourself in that same state. Breathe it. Feel it. When I say now, decide or don't. Resolve or don't, it's up to you. But a place where you draw a line in the sand. And I want you to do it over and over again by making whatever move with a yes. Yes. Yes. And with every [ __ ] move for 30 seconds, drive it deeper in your soul. See and feel yourself. Stepping out of suffering, stepping into a beautiful state, living in a beautiful state. There's so many beautiful states. You're not stuck with one. You can pick so many. You'll never be bored. It'll be yes. Yes. Every time. Yes. For 30 seconds. Every yes goes deeper. Whatever you got to do to make this permanent. Why will you make this decision? Why will you live like this forever? Why will you not tolerate anything less? Why is it not a must? Why will you? Why is it who you are? Why has everything in your life brought you to this moment? And how free could you become for a lifetime? You will not be perfect or not. You'll just live in a beautiful state which is better than perfect. It's grateful. It's playful. It's appreciative. It's fun. It's funny. It's not taking yourself too [ __ ] seriously. It's being generous with yourself and other people. It's noticing the little things, not just the big ones. It's remembering there's no achievement that's greater than this. My dear friend Krishna G, some of you have been to oneness. His father Bwan, he's the one that taught me this one little distinction, but I decided to take it and ingrain it. He went to one world academy. He taught this for a week. I decided we should do this in a day. Total commitment. He talked about we all need a spiritual vision. Most people have no vision for their spirituality. Here's your spiritual vision if you take it now to live in a beautiful state no matter what. What could be more spiritual than that? What would be more lifeenhancing than that? What would be more relationship enhancing? What would be better for your children than to see you living in a beautiful state no matter what the [ __ ] happens? Think of those you respect. Think of those that you've been moved by who live in a beautiful state even though everything was against them. and decide if that's who you'll become. Now,

>> one

>> feel it. A sense of anticipation.

>> If this was going to be a new lifetime from this moment,

>> if you knew after tonight life would never be the same again.

>> If you knew you brought yourself to this moment or you were guided or both, If you knew now was the time to truly be free, a freedom that no one can give you, you can only give yourself by making a choice for a lifetime.

>> Get ready to make that choice with Yes. Yes. Whatever it takes in your body. One,

>> two,

>> the most important decision of your life you're about to make. You're going to make it in your body and your soul. A commitment that's beyond anything you tell anyone else. It's a commitment for you, for life, for all those you love to honor. One, two, three, go. Do whatever you got to do.

>> Keep doing it. Keep doing it. Whatever you got to do in your body, in your soul, do it again and again. Use your body. Use your voice.

>> Use the movement.

>> Use some words of the ultimate promise to yourself.

>> Make the sound of what life will be like with Lou living in a beautiful state. Go.

[Music]

>> Anchor it in again. Anchor it in with a yes. with your resolve, with your body, angry, and you'll live in a beautiful state. Even when it's painful, even when it's unjust, you'll still find the way. There's something always we can appreciate or enjoy or love or give or be grateful for. Feel it. Feel it.

>> Tell yourself out loud why. Why will you do this forever no matter what? Why will you do it even when you normally be sad? Why will you give up the addiction to suffering to be free?

>> Feel it.

>> Can of three. Make the sound of what it's like to be free, alive, and alive. Go. Make the sound. Feel the power of a beautiful steak. Feel it in your soul, in your heart. No one else can give it to you. You can only give it to yourself. And when you give it to yourself, you give it to everyone you love. Create the sound and feel like you're giving it to yourself and everyone you love. Go.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

>> Feel it. Promise yourself. Resolve. Not a day of your life is going to go by without ending suffering and living in a beautiful state. Finding the way back to the beauty. Feel it again. Make the sound and feel it stronger than ever before. A beautiful state. Feel

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

like it's God's gift coming through you, in you, as you make the sound and feel it like you're giving it to the world. You're giving it to yourself. You're giving it to everyone you love. 1 2 3 go. Make the sound and feel that beautiful state. Go. Take it into your heart. Take it into your soul. Breathe it.

[Music]

And what will you give up? This process I've taken you through is to take you through because I could have started and if all I said the most important decision you need to make to stop suffering to stop focusing on yourself. I've taught you that [ __ ] for years. I've always talked about somebody's depressed is selfish. They're thinking about their self. I've always talked about there's pain as long as you're find something to serve. So that [ __ ] didn't work. What I did here is thought through how to take you through the emotional states that would give this the graitas for you to really decide. Now it's your job. And we can reinforce each other as friends, not by pining what's wrong, but finding what's right. And if we find we're off base, instead of beating oursel up, we're going to go, "It's working." If you see you're starting to suffer, if you see it, even for a moment, instead of like, "What the [ __ ] is the matter with me? Your new one is, it's working." Not it's working, now it's not.

It's working, now it's not. If you see it's not working, it's working. You didn't see it was not working before. You didn't even see you were suffering. So, you need to [ __ ] celebrate. And those first stages you want to reinforce yourself for and you'll gain momentum.

My Bonnie Pearl, will you close out the night for us and tell us what has happened and why you and I have done this and what has it meant? Give her a hand. It's Miss Bonnie Pearl.

>> Want me to come over there? Um, >> and by the way, she's doing this with no food in her body. Was the ultimate act of love for all of you. >> No, actually truthfully, that would have been definitely a story of suffering. Uh truthfully, food definitely consumed a big part of my life. But this decision has changed the fabric of our relationship. It's changed the fabric of how we relate in every aspect of our life. I've never felt we've never felt more spiritually congruent. Um when Tone talked about people having peak stakes, I've or states, I've had the privilege of having an enormous amount of spiritual peak states. um I was wired a certain way and so going into this it's like it's so easy to say gosh I'm a happy person or I have the privilege of this or going and going to India or wherever and experiencing a depth of those experiences but to take this into moment to moment breath by breath of our lives of our relationship of um e every morning every day it has changed uh I I cannot even describe to you the level of joy the level of freedom realizing that for myself anyways that I was responsible for my suffering not for the problems not for the pain not for the moment of the trigger but for my suffering in between the two was complete and total liberation for myself and it was complete and total liberation in our love because when you're in love and you have those moments and it feels amazing and then it's like you know and then you feel it drop out and never really understanding because two people that completely love each other and actually somewhat conscious and caring. But it's that it's those subtle changes, the subtle changes of having that standard and that absolute commitment for not just the big pieces because in life for both of us it seems like when it was happening we would both show up and bring all of ourselves to it. So it was easy to look and say gosh even in the moment I remember like just hearing those words and processing it. It's like flip I think I do that. But for myself, I had to look at where I wasn't doing it. I had to look at in my life and have that level of gut check, honesty. And it's interesting because, and ladies, I'm sure you'll probably do this as well, because for Tone, he's much more animated and much more intense. And so looking at anger, it's wow, [ __ ] that's suffering. Um, and so I'm going inside myself and thinking, okay, gosh, where is mine if I don't have that level of intensity all the time? Uh, even though I can absolutely. Uh, and for me it was worrying and it was fear. And in some absurd way I think I thought that worrying was more noble or was more something. I don't even know. But somehow I rationalized it was good or it was caring because I was worrying about him. I was worrying about this man's well-being. I'm there when he gets off stage when he's here and he's physically outside of his body serving you all. and I see the man that's walking down the hallway in absolute physical pain and that is still a reality but I don't suffer in between the two and I my life a huge part part of it and I wasn't even aware of it was actually concerned about this man because I love him completely he's beyond my number one in my life and in my existence and so I was oh my goodness he's hurting oh my goodness he needs this I was obsessed about him eating I still care very much about him eating but it doesn't consume me about his physical existence. And it did. And so the pain can still arise in a moment and we take action to get it taken care of, but it doesn't have a hold of me. It doesn't have a hold of us. And in those moments, you can think that you're caring, worrying about your child or worrying about your partner, but it's actually separating. I was not loving even though I thought my actions were loving. I was caring. And I said to him, I said, I feel that I I love him more. I care less, but I don't it doesn't mean that I'm not uh my actions are not demonstrative in love. It's just the overaring from that place of suffering, from that place of complete and total unconsciousness. And I thought I was awake. And it that I mean, that's one example. And I could I could sit here honestly all night, but I'm not going to because it's late. And I'll share many more throughout the week. But just the layers of that and that level of gut check honesty, that level of living with that level of presence with myself, actually relating inside my own self feels kind. It feels kind. And through that benevolence and through that kindness, there's such a different level of connection. There's such a different level of depth. And you know, I remember when we first got together and in all relationships, it's like, you know, you have that peak. You go out and you do something and it's like that. And now all those experiences, no matter what it is or no matter what privilege is coming our way through life, they're all beautiful. But the most beautiful part is every waking moment and actually experiencing the mundane without the chatter, without the story. And here's here's what's true, my experience anyways. um you know because we've talked about how how you do it besides number one it I for myself as well I decided and it was an absolute conviction and with that life still offers you know like life is still happening and things are still happening and problems are still coming your way and it's almost like rather than just for myself it was actually observing when the energy shifted I'm conscious of what it feels like to feel good I'm conscious of what it feels like to feel like what what a beautiful state of being feels like. So the moment I felt that constriction, the moment I felt myself and my body close was the first trigger that it's like, okay, do you know what? Get behind that. And then it just became a habit. Suffering is a flipping habit. We believe what happens in our minds. and yet to actually step behind it and just watch it and let the mind do its thing and actually be conscious of what your response is rather than it actually pulling you and reacting to every single thing. It was neurotic, completely and absolutely neurotic. And I it's it's been I have more energy. I feel more alive. I feel free. I feel liberated. And the energy feels intrinsic inside because I just think there's just so much more space inside my beingness to love, to connect, to be here and serve. Um, it feels completely and utterly different. And I've been so excited for us to come here and share this gift with you. And it will change your life. If if there's no wiggle room, there's no I'm doing good because I'm doing it more often. There's no I'm better than I was. That's the game that losers play to make themselves feel good with a lower standard. And there's not a person in this room that lives that way in the other areas of life. And when you do, it feels like [ __ ] This is not a place for good. Good gets put to bed. This is greatness. This is magnificence.

>> It It's And it takes conviction. It took conviction in our beingness and in our life to say to put a line in the sand and say no more and wake the freick up. And probably the biggest piece is just to be aware of what this beautiful state of being, what happiness feels like, what freedom feels like, what joy, what gratitude, whatever the emotion is. And be aware of when you feel that energy shift, when your body is actually closing. And the second I feel that and the closing feels like tension, it can feel like anxiety. It can feel like restriction in any way, shape, or form in whether it's my mind, emotionally, psychologically, or physically. I bring attention to it and I get behind it and see it and it just it dissolves. It literally dissolves and it's a habit and it's a rewiring. And here's the crazy thing. You're going to think at this moment like, holy smokes, it takes so much energy to do so. It's actually the opposite. It takes so much energy to suffer because your our mind is obsessed with the madness that our thoughts run constantly. And rather than giving it that power and that weight and that obsession that that's all that you're focusing on dayto day, this man, yes. Does he hurt? Absolutely. But do I need to obsess about it from the morning to the night when I actually see him walking in front of me and and seeing him actually experience that pain? No. I can serve him. I can love him. I can support him. I can arrange body care. And then I can experience that freedom from that weight. And I'm just giving this one example because it's it's honestly it's been constant in every other area of our lives. And it's beautiful. And I'm excited for you. And I'm excited for this decision of how it's going to impact your relationship and your lives because there's no greater decision. And as much as we have had an extraordinary life and we've had a privileged life and we've had privileged spiritual experiences that people could only even dream of, nothing compares to this level of standard and conviction in our lives and in our marriage. I'm excited for you. You're my life. You're my breath. You're a smile. You're my guest. You're the earth. You're the sun. You're the grass. You are love. You're my hands. You're a bug. You're my eyes. You're a hug. You're the light. In the dark, you're the spark. You are fun. You're my mom. You are water. You're the stars. You're my daughter. You're my friend. You're my dream. You're my life.

>> You're the blessings that exist. The small things that are bliss. The gift to realize that everything is a gift. Well, what we're going to do is uh we're going to get ready to wrap this up. We got a few things to to cover. One is just to remind you all of some things you can do to end suffering. Um, some of them are reminders, some of them you may not have heard yet. So, uh, let's go ahead and put up the five steps to end suffering. Now, I'm going to quickly run through these. These are in your workbook so you don't have to take notes. You can just know that you have a copy of it. The first thing is to get perspective. Tony, if you've done any Tony events, and even if you haven't done any Tony events, a tool that's really good, if you have a a a discomfort in your body, start where is it in my body and then, you know, take it, see it in your mind, take it out of that place and make it tiny, small, and send it off into the universe. And actually, sometimes I even watch it, you know, strike the sun and just vaporize. So that's get perspective. Put things in perspective. The next thing is to change your physiology and your focus. Just some of the things we did in terms of making your move, in terms of standing up, in terms of breathing, those are all things that are changing your physiology and focus. And then you can do three breaths of this 4x4 by4. It's actually box breathing. It's a it's a a technique that uh Navy Seals use, special forces use, army rangers use. Um, and it's it's so you take breathe in for a count of four, you hold for a count of four, and you let the air out for a count of four, and you do it through your nose. So, in for four, hold for four, breathe out for four, and then you just start again. Do that three times. Just breathing will change your physiology and will change your focus and will break that pattern of suffering often times. Another thing you can do, you can use these three phrases. I won't give this power over me. I won't give this power over me. Another one, it's not worth it. Life is too short to suffer. It's not worth it. Life is too short to suffer. Uh and you can also use I'm 100% responsible for my experience and I can free myself now. And what I would encourage you, come up with some of your own phrases, things that that resonate for you that when you get to a place of suffering that you can use these phrases because you know, anybody has done uh a UPW, the unleash the power within event that Tony does that we go and do a firewalk. One of the things Tony tells people to do when he's training them to do the firewalk is say cool moss, cool moss, cool moss. Well, there's nothing magic about saying cool moss. Trust me on this. The whole purpose of it is to fill up your mind with something at least neutral rather than letting your mind go off for on its merry way and almost always fill it with stuff that's no good. Like, what are you doing? You're a crazy idiot. You can't walk on hot coals. Just because these other people are doing doesn't mean you should do it. So that's why have some of these phrases can be unbelievably helpful. So number four, the antidote. Accept or appreciate the things you used to judge. And here's where you can use the ho ponop po. I love you. Thank you. You can use Byron Katie's three questions in a turnaround. And then remember to celebrate. Celebrate and salute yourself. Salute yourself and others. You know, Tony said it and it I I it can't be said too much. When you notice you're suffering, celebrate because one, that'll interrupt your pattern. And two, the great thing about living in a beautiful state is it is a momentto- moment decision. Which means if I if I realize I'm suffering, I can make another decision as Tony would say in a heartbeat like that. It is a momentto- moment decision. If you find yourself suffering, say, "Hey, this is great. I'm recognizing I'm suffering." And then you can use some of these other tools to move on. You know, when I I work with clients, you know, all around the world, and one of the things I always tell clients is when you recognize things aren't going the way you want them to go, you're you're just moments away from having them the way you want them. Because until you realize, until you're aware, until you're conscious that things aren't the way you want them, you can't do anything about it. But as soon as you become aware, as soon as you become conscious, then and only then can you do something different. So when you have that awareness, instead of beating yourself up, as Tony said, acknowledge yourself, celebrate yourself. All right. So those are some really powerful things that you can do to remind yourself to get out of suffering and get back into a beautiful state. And here's the truth. Things are going to happen in your life. Things are going to happen in your life. You know, this this corona virus is going to be gone in in you know some period of time and this will be the least of your worries. Life will throw you curveballs. God, the universe, spirit, higher power, mother earth, whatever you believe, even you don't believe anything is going to give you opportunities to practice these new emotional muscles that you just exercised. And this is about living in an emotionally grounded, powerful place every single day. There's going to be some homework. Um, and this is also in your uh uh your your packet. Let's go ahead and uh and put the the homework up. You're going to write a letter to yourself. You're going to write a letter to yourself and you're going to, you know, write what's the decision you made? Why did you make it? Then why, no matter what, are you choosing to live in a beautiful state? What's the decision you made? And why? No matter what, no matter what, you're going to choose to live in a beautiful state. I'm not saying that you may not have, you know, some moments of suffering, but for most people, you know, when they go to suffering, they would go to suffering for, you know, hours, you know, days, weeks, sometimes months. And so, you're going to be able to recognize it and do something and let it go. And also in this letter, you're going to put, "What are you going to do if you get tempted or pushed into an old pattern?" And then finally, choose a commitment buddy, someone that you're going to uh ask to hold you accountable. And this this can be a really powerful thing. If you really I mean if you really want to stretch yourself, go to somebody in your life that is really skeptical and isn't going to just say, "Oh, yes. I I'm so excited for you. I'm going to I'm going to support you and you know, I I'll be there for you." Go to this person because you know they're going to be watching you like a hawk. And you put yourself on that kind of notice. That's what Tony refers to as leverage. All right? But you also want to have some people that are going to be accountable, that are going to be uplifting in their accountability as well. All right? Because there's nothing like stacking commitments upon commitments and and making it ironclad that this is who you are. to take it to that final level of mastery, the physical level of mastery where you feel it actually in your body. Well, we are very much at the end. Um, I'm going to excuse everybody and anybody who would like to stay on for another five or 10 minutes. We're going to we're going to do a a prayer, a blessing, uh, sending lights, energy, whatever is the appropriate thing for you. We're going to do something. This is what I uh I do with the trainers and the senior leaders and leadership mastery folks at the beginning of every day at events. Um and we're going to send it to Tony and Sage. We're going to send it to other people that you know that could use our our prayers, our energy, our blessings, our love, our light, and then we're going to send it around the world. And that is completely optional. When when I say you know we're done after we celebrate you, please uh if you want or need to go, please go. This this last piece is just for those who want to stick around and do it. And if there's just one person that wants to stick around, I'm totally cool with it because I'm going to do it no matter what. All right, so here we go. On the count of three, we're going to blow the roof off this place. I got to get my chair out of the way here and we're going to celebrate like the crazy, wild people that we are. On the count of three. One, two, three. Yes. Every star we are born again. Oh your heart. Spend less time in your head. [Music] So let's everybody else who's uh sticking around, let's go ahead and stand up. Go ahead and stand up. Go ahead and close your eyes. Let's start with a few deep breaths. Take a deep breath in and let it out. [Music] >> Take another deep breath in and let it out. And take one more deep breath in. Let it out >> in whatever way is appropriate to you. Whether it's a prayer, a blessing, love, light, energy, >> or just a positive thought, >> whatever that looks like for you. Let's send our prayers, our blessings, our love, our light, our energy to Tony. [Music] And now let's send the prayers, the blessing, the love, the light, the energy to sage. I must say I must say must. And now in a moment, I'm going to give you the opportunity to speak out loud. Even though we can't hear you, the universe hears you. God hears you. Source hears you. Spirit hears you, higher power hears you. In a moment, I'm going to ask you to speak out loud the name or names of anyone that you know of that you would like us to send these prayers, these blessings, these love, the light, the energy. >> So go ahead and speak out loud the name or names of anybody you would like us to remember right now. And [Music] >> now whether you said a name or you didn't say a name >> or even if you don't think anybody said a name, just trust that all of those names, all of those people are right now in our collective presence. and send them prayers, love, light, energy. Could be prayers of healing, prayers of comfort, >> prayers of groundedness, prayers of wisdom. [Music] >> And those prayers, blessings, love, the light, the energy [Music] And now let's expand those prayers, those blessings, the love, the light, the energy to include maybe some people that actually stood their names already, but healthcare workers, doctors, nurses, is people working in the hospitals, people working at our grocery stores, people working at restaurants, delivery people, people that unfortunately for many in the world, we've not gotten much acknowledgement in the past, first responders, policemen, firemen. Send our prayers, our blessings, our love, our light, our energy to all of those people. [Music] And now because it's so fun and it's so easy, let's expand those prayers, those blessings, the love, the light, the energy and send them around the entire globe. Every living being is being touched by our prayers, our energy, our love, our light. >> Let every living being >> feel your beautiful state right now. [Music] [Music] Now let's direct those prayers, those blessings, the love, the light, the energy to yourself. To yourself. In fact, you can even place your hand on your heart if that seems appropriate and send yourself prayer and blessings. >> Acknowledge your greatness. >> Acknowledge your place in this world to help un end suffering. >> Acknowledge your commitment to live in a beautiful state no matter what. And with each breath, >> feel more >> grounded in yourself, >> feel more love for yourself, >> feel more gratitude for yourself. That's it. That's it. [Music] And then whenever you're ready, go ahead, bring yourself back to wherever you happen to be, feeling grounded and centered and peaceful and loving, caring, >> and anything and everything else that you need and want to feel right now. [Music] Thank you very much for your willingness to send some prayers and blessings and love and light and energy around the world. The world, the world needs your energy right now. It needs your energy. I'm not talking to somebody else. I'm talking to you. Each and every one of you. The world needs your energy, your love, your caring, your compassion, your joy, your do whatever it takes, your groundedness, your centeredness. Share that. Share that with people you know, people you care about. Share it with absolute strangers. I love you. Thank you. You're amazing human beings. Go off and continue to do great things in the world. And remember, choose to live in a beautiful state and end suffering right now. Bye everybody. Love you.