Transcription
Following content is a fan-created parody. I do not possess any rights to the anime or manga of Jiujutsu Kaizen. Kindly show your support by accessing the official release.
You've got one new voicemail from It's your daddy. Play message.
Bro, why you don't answer none of my calls? I got a text from back in '06 and I need you to cash that [ __ ] for and perhaps that [ __ ] on the game for this Sunday. Get that run up a mill. Delete message. Message deleted.
Oh, what the [ __ ] What's good? Singing a finger gone, bro. Oh, you better find that mother. I don't know where to look for that. You can't help a [ __ ] out. Look, man, you had one job. If you can't do that, I don't know what to tell you. Now, I got [ __ ] to do, so I hope you figure it out. Yeah, whatever. I'm about to lose my job.
[music]
[music]
[music]
My name is Edidor Eugji cut and you can't say the Eugi without the C cut. You feel me? But outside of repping my set with my whole soul, I'm also a scholar. Well, actually cut. A five-star CALIBER ATHLETE. MAHOMES CUT AND MY granddaddy's primary caretaker. No grandson of mine's going to be a thug.
You keep saying that, OG, but that ain't changed nothing yet, cuz I can't stand you young. Just do me one favor. If you're going to be in the streets, you get out there and you do your mother thing cuz ain't no such thing as halfway crips.
You just said you didn't want me in the streets. So what is it, OG? Listen to me, grandson. You got to get a people what they looking for.
What do that even mean? Cut. Well, former caretaker, C. Rest up, OG. But that's everything about me. What else you need, C?
That ain't got [ __ ] to do with what I asked. [ __ ] my bad, C. What was the question?
What happened at the school with Meg? Oh, yeah. We got attacked by some big ugly curse thing and then Meg was telling me all about the super finger.
So, you telling me some super demon trap got to take back all his fingers so he can come back to life and throw his setup after being dead for centuries, man? No, this is going to go home. I told you I won't have to leave. I can't protect both of us. You may not be in the states often, man. Never going TO DO IT BACK NOW. STOP TREATING [music] us like some street [ __ ] This is official social appearance. Whether or not we handle our [ __ ] IN THIS PLACE, I TOLD THIS to make A MOVE. SO HE GOING TO HAVE TO SEE ABOUT ME CUZ KRA [ __ ] SO WE GOING to handle it like some street [ __ ] and put that on my face. Oh [ __ ] THE SUPER I NEED POWER. SO IF THE CURSE, I NEED THESE [music] FINGERS TO CONS. I'M GOING MAKE THEM BLOW UP.
Did this really JUST TAKE A YOKE OFF THAT [ __ ] LIKE THAT? BRO, I don't get paid enough for this [ __ ] Godamn. Get youring hands off me. I SAID GET YOUR HANDS off me. My face making all that goddamn noise. Wait a second, [ __ ]
[music]
We back OUTSIDE WITH I AIN'T FELT THIS good since they put crack in the streets. The trap god is [screaming] back. Let me let these tattoos break out that jam. So where the holes at? Cuz either [ __ ] getting or [ __ ] getting killed. Either way, the king [music] of going to have a good ass. NOW TURN ME UP. CRASH. HEY, give me back my B. It's you, [ __ ] Hey, don't worry about that ho. I know you ain't talking to the [ __ ] trap guy like [music] that. The trap guy. You [ __ ] is my body. TALKING [ __ ] LIKE YOU WANT. She cook [music] now. Like I said, get out of my [ __ ] [ __ ] it. This how we going to do this. Roses are red. Weapons against me won't prosper. Whoa, whoa, hold on. Damn it. I was come with the tattoo. It's me, calm down. No, me. What you talking about? We going to finish this poem and you crashing out again, huh?
Gojo, what the [ __ ] you doing here? What's happening? I was going to go straight home from the mall, but I just knew you was getting your ass beat. So, smile for the gram. Say world star. That [ __ ] Bet you won't be mad when the hoes hit you like I seen you on Gojo story. Can I come take care of you, man?
Oh, yeah. Speaking of taking care of [ __ ] what happened with that whole cursed finger thing? You got I ain't going to lie, gang. I had the super finger and I ate that mother cuz dead ass. Yeah, cuz H. Now, I done seen some broke ass [ __ ] in my day, but H. Hey, you good, C? Well, damn. I guess broken will eat anything in front of them, huh? Well, [ __ ] Your body feel okay? At least on the damn homies. I'm feeling better than ever. You nasty. But can you do me a favor and bring that other out real quick? Hell yeah. Okay, bet. What you trying to bang with her? Oh, yeah. I'm about to put some crazy hands on this old ass broken. Hey, hold this man. The hell is this? A Gucci button up. So don't it up, [ __ ] cuz I know it's worth more than what you make a year. And you can't mother [music] with your life, please. [ __ ] the button up. How about I put you on a shirt instead, [ __ ]
[music]
Wait, what? One thing you should know is I don't take [music] them shirt comments like what you talking about. Run them. We hold on. I got your own [ __ ] Stop trying to push you past your palm. I'mma treat you like every other broke [ __ ] I run into. NOT THAT am [music] I getting and move around cuz it's paper chasers in. One thing for certain, [music] you flexing ass and some [ __ ] in EVERY AREA. NOW BOUND TO THE TRAP. [music] YEAH, LET THAT BE A message to any [ __ ] who want to try. What the Nice [music] try, [ __ ] But I saying everything I need to say. Oh, you [ __ ] You can switch back now. I ain't [ __ ] BUT I NEED MY [ __ ] BACK. [music] Mark my words. Y'all going to lose your lives talking to the trap guy like that.
Hey, you good gang? Cook. All right, I'm back up. Well, I'll be down. You really can't switch back whenever you want. Yeah, that's cool and all, but this won't shut up. This yapping ass old. Oh, I can shut up a old ass broken. Don't even worry about it, gang. We'll see you in a couple hours. Wait, what? There it is. That knocked the out. Hey, me. You think they going to want him dead? 100%. Well, [ __ ] You ain't got no faith, huh? Whatever. You think you can save him? [ __ ] I'm Gojo. I can do whatever the I want. Just leave it to me.
Yeah, that [ __ ] ain't work out. So now you got to die. You said what? Cut. For the last time, the hit on your life is suspended as long as you can contain control's vessel. But that's the last thing you need to worry about cuz if principal Yaga don't give you the go-ahad, you good as dead anyway. What? So you take orders from another man? I knew your ass was [ __ ] You want to repeat that you old broke [ __ ] [ __ ] no. Cuz boss [ __ ] only converse with other bosses. So I shouldn't hear another word come out your [ __ ] ass employee ass mouth. Shut up. My bad cuz I wish he'd just shut up.
What was that about taking orders from another man? Hey [ __ ] watch your tone when you talking TO THE TRAP GUY. WAIT TILL I SNATCH THIS LITTLE [ __ ] BODY UP. I'mma put your ass in a box. First off, pause. And secondly, I must be a boss if you got something to say to me. You still a [ __ ] I gotta ask, why do this older yap so much? And why do we think he's so important? Cuz Roman Sukuna, also known as the king of curses or the self-proclaimed trap god. Over a thousand years ago, he was just a regular trap causing [music] the streets hell. But he had the game in such a tight chokeold that even after death, he was causing [music] problems as a cursed object. Any significant moment in trapping and bread stacking can be tied back to Sukuna in some way. Rumor has it he's even the reason they start selling. It might have honestly been the reason why slavery was a thing. You believe that Gojo? [ __ ] no. All I know for certain is he's a old ass washed ass trap who missed a potato headed himself into 20 pieces to try and stay relevant. So if it came down to it, would you fight him kind? I'd whoop his ass. Go ask a simple question that needs a simple answer.
What's good? Why is there a supposed to be dead in my office? I'm doing my job. I was told to bring him here before I do anything. Wrong answer. Blindfold, man. Eugi, introduce yourself. They call me Eugi cuz I like a long hair, thick red bone. And why the I need to know that? My bad, C. Gojo, get this out my office. I ain't going nowhere, cuz. Oh, you ain't leaving. All right, the little [ __ ] [ __ ] What you trying to get into? Whatever's going to make me a sorcerer. All right, bet then. Hold on. What's that? CUZ WAIT [screaming] GOT HURT. I NEVER BEEN AFRAID OF NO FADE, YOU MIGHT BE A damn good sorcerer. Is this thing? [screaming] I made it, C. I'm a sorcerer now. [ __ ] Barely, [ __ ] That bear was putting the paws on your ass, man. You ain't got to remind me, cuz. So if you ever talk crazy, I'mma put that bear on your ass again.
What y'all yapping about, man? Cuz you couldn't have moved this in nowhere else, huh? You got a [ __ ] in here with you, C. Back the up out my room, [ __ ] You not welcome. All right, stop the fighting. We got [ __ ] to do. So you [ __ ] go get dressed. We got to pick up the last first year. Gojo think he y or something. Why he get to pick our outfits? He paid for them. If you want to come out of pocket for this [ __ ] go right ahead.
What's happening? Oh, I see you got your fit. How you liking the custom joint? You know I'm a [ __ ] right? Then [ __ ] walk your ass out that $10,000 jumpsuit [ __ ] My bad, cuz. All right, bro. Can we find a new [ __ ] now? Hey, you. YOU TRYING TO PAY A BAD [ __ ] bills, [ __ ] I don't know what bad [ __ ] she's speaking of. And I hope I don't look like a sugar daddy cuz I'm out here looking for the $40 freaks. [ __ ] are you deaf? You going to pay my bills or not? I'm sorry, sweetheart. I've got nothing for you. [ __ ] I know you got money. He really don't though. I know a suit from J C Penney when I see it.
Meet your new teammate. The name is Nabara Kougasaki aka the baddest [ __ ] I can't tell if it's some curses or some fiends in there, but this look like the perfect spot. So, who all going in that [ __ ] [screaming] The cripping the baddest [ __ ] Last time I checked, we was na. So, why the we got to go on our own? No, it's time for y'all to make a name for yourselves out here. And since it's your first job, I'll get you right. Here, take this and don't break my [ __ ] [crying] [ __ ] I'm about to go crazy.
Okay, we getting in and out this [ __ ] Moving very quickly. Very mindful. Very demure. [ __ ] de Mure. Weren't you just begging for money? I AIN'T BEGGING FOR [ __ ] [ __ ] love spending money on me. I ain't got to take this from a [ __ ] who can't pull no hoes. WHO ARE YOU TO tell me I ain't got no hoes? Cuz the hoes love a [ __ ] Stop playing with me. Wait, what? You sure they ready for this? Honestly, I don't know. But [ __ ] I hope so. Die for the alone. Nobody want that, Reggie. C. I AIN'T [screaming] BUYING [ __ ] OFF YOU. NOW MAKE A HOLE, C. Trash ass dealer.
So, how your pops been and [ __ ] He still got that hole in him? We ain't got to make small talk, bro. My bad, [ __ ] I'm not stupid. You not going to play me like I'm dumb. Now say something, [ __ ] I know you can move. Stop playing. I got something that'll [ __ ] up your little mannequin challenge. HOW ABOUT A FULL SET FOR YOUR [ __ ] ASS? YEAH, we not doing that [ __ ] Hey, now what the was that? Almost that little BOY UP. THAT'S REALLY GOOD. HEY, [ __ ] [screaming] Let him go. THAT'S GOOD. NOW, where the [ __ ] did Kirsty start taking hostage? Guess I got no other choice then. If you trying to help, now's the time. Oh, REAL. HEY, where you going? really good. I got Let him come. Huh? Don't worry. HE AIN'T GOING NOWHERE. BAD [ __ ] VOODOO. COME UP IN THERE. WELL, DAMN.
What's happening y'all? It's Rab. From here on out, I'll be putting my Rab Yaps announcements at the end of my videos just so we can get to the peak faster. And it's really not many announcements right now other than hood JJK is officially back and the next episode won't take halfway as long as this one took. Now outside of all that, New York's anime After Dark is on the way October 4th. So New York, buy your tickets. They reduced price. They only $10, a little bit more than that after tax. But outside of that, as always, I thank you all for the support and just watch out for the next drop because it's coming soon. But I'll catch y'all next.