Transcription
Dr. Laura: Charlotte, Welcome to the program, Charlotte. Three, two.
Charlotte: Can you hear me?
Dr. Laura: There you go. Now I can hear you. Beautiful.
Charlotte: Okay, thanks. Hi. Thank you.
Dr. Laura: How can I help?
Charlotte: We spoke a couple, a few weeks ago, about being late all the time. I called you, I was always late. And you told me it's a power thing. And I was like thinking about it over this period of time that, you know, from now or from then until now. And it like brought up old memories from my childhood. And like about my mom, my brother, my sister would like gang up on me and bully me about saying how the mailman dropped me off at home, with them and that they weren't my real family. And like they would say that to me like all the time. And it would like make me cry and upset. And I would actually run out to the mailman sometimes and ask him like, hey, will you take me back to my real family? And he would just like look at me like I was crazy. And I talked to my brother about it and he told me like recognized that it was a problem and he apologized about it. And I talked to my mom and my sister about it and my sister deflected saying she had it worse and that ah.
Dr. Laura: She had. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She had what worse? What did she have?
Charlotte: Like her childhood was worse.
Dr. Laura: How so?
Charlotte: I guess like she lost some CDs because she left them in a trunk of her car at one time and my mom found them and m. My mom like commandeered them. I guess you could say that's a bad childhood.
Dr. Laura: Are you seriously talking to me about a bad childhood? And that's what comes to mind? That an adult left her CDs in the trunk and mom took them away? That's a bad childhood.
Charlotte: Okay, that was her bad childhood, not mine. But I just was calling to see about like I talked to my mom and my sister about it and like I said, my sister deflected and said she had it worse. And then my mom just told me to grow up, get over it. And I just feel like, you know, if they could just acknowledge that this happened and if they could just apologize for it, I could move on and feel better and like, it's like affected myself.
Dr. Laura: I see. Just a second, Just a second. Two things I want to say to what you just said. It's affected my self esteem. One, you actually need people to apologize before you can move on in life. Think about what you just said. That's nuts. That's nuts. I am just going to stay in this depressed, unhappy, angry, hurt state until somebody apologizes. Holy cow. Woman number two. When you can objectively stand back and realize people behaved badly toward you and thought it was just funny that you're going to abdicate your self esteem, other people behave badly. So, I'm gonna m drop my self esteem at my feet. What if you wake up stiff, find your hair just isn't what it used to be, or that your nails are becoming thin and brittle? A nutrition gap could be the culprit. Collagen is the protein that keeps our bones dense, joints cushioned and skin firm. After age 30, our bodies produce 1 to 2% less collagen every year. By 60, most people have lost half their collagen and it's nearly impossible to get it back through diet alone because it lives in the parts of the animal we don't eat. Bones, cartilage and tendons. All right. Native path is a clean grass, grass fed type 1 and 3 collagen that dissolves completely in coffee or water. No taste, no clumping. Thousands of Native Path customers report less joint pain, stronger nails, younger looking skin, better sleep, and even improved bone density. Scans. To try Native path risk free with a 365 day money back guarantee. Head to getnativepath.com DrLaura that's getnativepath.com DrLaura
Charlotte: What do you think about like the inner child? Do you believe in that? Like, do you subscribe to that concept?
Dr. Laura: Why don't you answer my questions instead of taking me on a psychobabble trip?
Charlotte: Okay. As you know, like when I was growing up, it was like all throughout my childhood I didn't feel like I was a part that.
Dr. Laura: Oh, I'm just gonna, there's a, there's a joke thing that I saw on, that was terrible and telling. This guy is sitting in the therapist's office as a psychiatrist. He's on the couch, she's on a chair turned the other way, they can't see each other. And he's going about his childhood and he's crying and she gives him tissues. And then when he wants some feedback from her, she does this awful thing of. This is what you look like. Oh, I guess my childhood was so bad and everything was so terrible and I'm so. And you know, this was to be funny and I partially thought it was funny. And the other part, it was cruel. On the other hand, that's all he was doing was whining about yesterday. You're 36 years old, you're at the precipice of making life decisions and taking on challenges that will define the rest of your life and your personhood. And instead of focusing on that, I'm really not enthusiastic about hearing you talk about kidding about who you know, that the mailman brought you. I mean, that's not the worst thing in the world. Raping you would have been telling you you're a pig and I wish you had died and I should have aborted you. People call and tell me some really grim things. So people being sarcastically annoying, not caring if they hurt each other, and then they don't want to take any responsibility. Between your brother, your sister and your mother, one third of them said sorry. If you're going to wait for everybody to take responsibility when they don't want to before you have self esteem, you might as well hide under your bed until you're dead.
Charlotte: Mm Well, like I just feel like, you
Dr. Laura: know, I don't care how you feel. I don't care how you feel. Do you hear me? I don't care how you feel. I didn't ask you how you felt. I didn't ask you how you felt. I already know how you feel. Poor me. Everybody's mean to me. I'm gonna eat worms. Yeah, bad excuse for not becoming all that you could become. You cannot drive a straight line looking through the rear view mirror. And that's what you're doing. I'm sorry your childhood wasn't as spectacular as you would have liked. So freaking what? At this point you are free of it and you have all the ability to make choices. And one of the choices ought to be to stop ruminating over your hurt feelings from silly behavior from your family.
Charlotte: Should I like keep them at arm's length? Because if they're not able to take accountability, like that's like telling for like, just a relationship in general, right? Like if somebody doesn't take accountability for
Dr. Laura: their mistakes, like no, enjoy the good parts and they don't take responsibility for their mistakes. That's who they are. But there are other things. Maybe your mother makes good chicken soup.
Charlotte: She makes good fried chicken.
Dr. Laura: There you go. I wouldn't give up fried chicken, babe.
Charlotte: Yeah.
Dr. Laura: Character flaws are not sufficient for you to excommunicate family. They're annoying. Your sister and your mother are annoying. You don't excommunicate people for being annoying. Only for being dangerous or destructive.
Charlotte: Okay, that's good to know the reasons to do that.
Dr. Laura: They're just annoying. All right, you can handle that. You're a woman enough to handle that. And don't ever say out loud again or even to yourself, oh, because they're not saying sorry, they're hurting my self esteem. I will pinch your head off.
Charlotte: Oh, well, I don't mean like them not apologizing, hurt myself seem. I mean, like what they said, like growing up, like, making me feel like I was not welcome. And they would treat me like, your interpretation.
Dr. Laura: Your interpretation is not feeling welcome. Theirs is they had fun being smartasses.
Charlotte: You know, my brother acknowledged what I said. That's like the point.
Dr. Laura: Okay, I'm done with you. I don't want to hear about your past anymore.
Charlotte: Okay?
Dr. Laura: I don't want to hear it. And you shouldn't want to either.
Charlotte: Okay, I understand.
Dr. Laura: Aren't you done with that yet? You've analyzed it. You've agonized over it. Enough is enough. Come on. You have an important decision to make before the end of the week. What is it?
Charlotte: Whether or not I'm going to move on in my life and do bigger and better things or stay stuck. And this, like, childhood trauma, that's like, really minuscule. Comparatively.
Dr. Laura: Yes, it is. Let's not call it trauma. Let's call it childhood annoyance. You have a sick family and they liked picking on what they thought was the weakest person. Did you hear me? You have a sick family and they enjoyed picking on who was the weakest person because it was fun and it made them feel more self esteem. Including your mother. However, she makes good fried chicken. Don't miss out on that. My number. 1-800-375-2872. What's my prescription for better, stronger, happier relationships? Easy. It's the all new Dr. Laura podcast, featuring a morning monologue by, yours truly and a call of the day handpicked by me. Listen daily and get a dose of my preaching, teaching and nagging at, drlaura.com or on the SiriusXM app or wherever you listen to podcasts. It's all good.