Transcription
Hi, Sesparians, and welcome to what might be one of the most unhinged story updates I have ever covered. One day, the world logged online and was instantly gripped by the story of a woman who would challenge some of the ways we think about doctor-patient relationships.
"How can he not be like accepting my advances?" Arguably the most viral, unhinged, and potentially sus story of 2025 was the jaw-dropping 25-part TikTok series titled, "I fell in love with my psychiatrist, [music] and he kept me."
Anyways, "I fell in love with my psychiatrist and he knew and he kept me until I had the strength to leave after 4 years." Posted by 36-year-old self-proclaimed spiritual oracle and ADHD [music] life coach Kendra Hilty. "He held me hostage." Thank you, Sydney. He did.
I just did a super deep dive into her story on my main channel, which you can check out right here, of course, or it'll be linked in the description. Of course, I loved [music] the attention. He just listened and nodded. And that's the thing about psychiatrists is that they're good at [music] pretending to listen. That's when he really started turning up the intimacy.
After a few, you know, unexpected delays and recovering from a cute little autumn cold that locked arms with daylight savings time and body slammed me, slash, the Kendra Swoop Dog is finally out. If you haven't seen it, please do give it a watch. But today, she has started posting yet again. And there are some major updates that I wanted to cover over here. So, if you're not familiar with the story and you want like that really deep dive, go watch my full swoop dock. But here are going to be some of the highlights.
So, what began as a shaky cry for help erupted into a full-blown digital spectacle, amassing nearly 75 million views. A stunned audience was glued to their screens, watching her public spiral and obsession filled with escalating accusations [music] of malpractice, emotional manipulation, and gaslighting at the hands of her former psychiatrist. "He used his psychiatric training to manipulate me and get me hooked. And guess what? It worked." Who was simply doing his job by pretty much everyone else's account, actually including her. "After I risked my life to see him, that's when he really started turning up the intimacy in our appointments."
However, he was really smart and knew the professional lines like the back of his hand. Medical professionals, concerned viewers, and even [music] Kendra's close friends stepped in to defend the uh doxed uh who I call Dr. X. "I accidentally said my psychiatrist's first name in one of my videos. If you clocked it, good. Good for you. I do not owe him anonymity."
"Kendra blocked basically anyone who challenged her and shut off her comments, leaving only the devoted followers who validated her every thought, no matter what direction it went to." "A couple weeks ago on the full moon when I was ovulating, [music] I had a dream about you." With a new audience eager to feed her obsession, that's her word. Because the health care professionals that are saying, "I would never want Kendra as a client. Thank you," are also editorial.
"Kendra began capitalizing on the attention through TikTok live streams all while, you know, promoting and selling her ADHD lifestyle coaching business." "The Oracle is live with her army of truth seekers." "I am very good, more than good, actually. I am actually a coach for ADHDers. It says it in my bio."
So after three months, it seemed like Kendra had finally left her original psychiatrist love story behind in favor of her [music] new life as a somewhat, by some people, worshipped digital oracle deity. "Can you read minds?" "It's part of my design, my human design. People with completely open crown centers can often read other people's thoughts." Until, ironically, on the very same day that I released my full swoop dock, she returned to the for you page with some of the most shocking and disturbing claims in part 26 [music] and 27. "Uh, and it seems like a good day to start it back up again. But first, oh, hi, hello. It's Swoop and welcome to the dark waters of the susp. The place where everything and everyone is sus. Maybe even us. Come on in, the waters fi."
[laughter] Welcome back, Susperians. Grab your tortoise shell glasses if you dare and your face glitter. Because today we're returning to the dystopian world of TikTok story times, my favorite, where the Oracle Reigns Supreme and the AI chatbots have the [music] final say. "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
"Uh, if you're new here, welcome to my second channel. So, on my main channel, Swoop, I do full-length deep dives. And over here, we dip. We skinny dip into the dark waters of the Suspole where everything is unhinged. So, welcome to the chaos. If you're into mind-bending, dark, and twisted tales, subscribe to this channel. Bring a towel, tell your friends, and go ahead and pretend to ask ChatGPT to write the like button a love letter. But instead of love, it's actually a list of all the ways you want to embarrass it and post it to TikTok in a series."
"Little Dora the Explorer." "Actually, I got to say, over 30% of you who regularly watch these videos week after week aren't actually subscribed. And you might think that you are. I get a lot of comments, people saying like, 'Oh, I thought I was subscribed.' So, make sure to check. Make sure you subscribe. It's the free and easy way to support what I do here because it's time to lock in."
You can also join our Patreon community for exclusive access to four more videos per month. Y'all, I'm like blown away. We have over 2800 members to our Patreon community. So, let's see if we can get that to 3,000 members in November. I am just like so blown away by your support. We have free tiers and then of course additional support tiers. And you'll have access to four more exclusive, uncensored, unfiltered videos per month, plus the entire back catalog of videos only available on Patreon, including the podcast, extended episodes, all that uncensored stuff that I just can't [music] post here.
Okay, we're going to dive in, but real quick, I've got a slightly spicy question. When was the last time you treated yourself? And no, I'm not just talking about bubble baths. Y'all, I am so, so, so excited for today's sponsor, Blesa. Yes, friends, I am teaming up with Blesa for a huge toy giveaway. And everyone who signs up with my link below wins a free rose suction toy with your order. Honey, in this house, we love getting free gifts, [music] especially Blesa gifts.
Blesa is a by-women company for all things personal wellness. And what I love most about Blesa, I mean, you know, besides their products, obviously, is that Blesa's mission is all about empowering you to embrace, explore, and celebrate you on your terms and feel amazing. Okay, no stigmas attached here, honey. Now, to the good stuff. Um, can we, can we just talk about how cute this is? Look how cute. Like, this is the most beautiful toy that I have like ever seen. I did not even know that they could possibly come this cute. And she's a viral TikTok legend for a reason. She's adorable, discreet, very discreet. And I should note that the same goes for the packaging and the shipping, okay? They arrive in a plain box so you can feel safe and secure with every order. And honestly, I just have to say this for me. Blesa has been one of the kindest companies that I've ever partnered with. And y'all, I just, we love women-led companies here. I'm telling you friends, do not miss this huge giveaway. Tap my link in the description and everyone who signs up wins a free rose suction toy with your order. Yes, friends. That's right. You're going to love it. Every one of you who signs up wins a free beautiful rose toy with your order. So tap the link below and treat yourself, honey. You deserve it.
Okay, strap on that swimsuit, grab your nose plugs, and let's dip into the susp. So, my dear Sesperians, I, I honestly, I can't believe that we're back on the TikTok bola train of bizarre [ __ ] but here we are. Nobody in all of us.
"After giving her all of the grace and compassion and perspective, I played so much point counterpoint, devil's advocate in the swoop dock, I uncovered video and audio recordings from Kendra's psychiatrist, uh, Dr. X that painted an entirely new light on the story that that I hadn't seen covered anywhere else. I sat down with a psych nurse for a powerful interview about abuse against providers and the truly dire circumstances facing nurses." I honestly didn't think that I would be covering any updates whatsoever until I saw what she posted.
So, here in the chaos, unhinged world of the suspole, if you need a little refresher before we dip in, let me speed-read some of the kind of key points at like Sonic Hedgehog speed. Got to go fast. "Hey." "So Kendra claimed that her psychiatrist who she met over Zoom for 3 years, okay, appointments over Zoom. I booked a 90-minute intake and I show up to the intake and this man is my age and I can't help but notice that he's pretty attractive." This psychiatrist.
"She spoke endlessly about how uh despite him maintaining strict professional boundaries, she convinced herself that deep down he was harboring feelings for her even though he never conveyed that and remained professional." "You know, the way that he was making it seem, because this is kind of what I thought, psychiatrist boundaries were just so good that he wasn't going to cross them." Not only is she so convinced that he shared her strong feelings given any evidence to suggest that, but she alleged that he was manipulating her from some type of like fantasy supply. And sure, you know, maybe he was uncomfortable cuz he didn't like me saying that I had a dream where we hooked up, but he could have said that, but he didn't. You would want to know why he was uncomfortable? Because he had probably played out that fantasy so many times in his head.
She also said it was a fact that healthcare practitioners are dead inside. There are so many people, especially men, that are emotionally dead inside that feel called to going into psychiatry. She read into every microexpression as a sign he was in love. "He seemed so smug and happy with himself. And I know that that is because that was his first sign that him pretending like we're friends was working." And even showed up to his office in person, crossed his physical boundaries, and secretly recorded herself sharing the details of her intimate life with him. "Yeah. I ran up and I gave him the biggest hug. And you know what he did? He barely patted me on the back. It was the most awkward [laughter] thing ever. And then I proceeded to give him 30 minutes of nonstop content about my intimate life with my boyfriend. And I actually recorded the whole thing because I was so excited about it."
Then her dangerous, in my opinion, echo chamber was amplified by her most trusted companions, her AI chatbots, which named her the Oracle and likely pushed her close to the brink of AI psychosis in the opinions of many medical professionals. "So while I was mid crash out, I had just started using this tool, ChatGPT, and I went to chat, who I immediately named Henry, and I would just talk to Henry about how obsessed I was with this man, with my psychiatrist." And when she lost her insurance and could no longer afford to have her regular sessions with her psychiatrist, she left the series off in an explosive fury of denial that, uh, even though Dr. X, as I call him, had never crossed any professional lines or any personal boundaries, she then said that he was somehow still a predator and a group, even though by her own record, he is not.
"So he told me about how he's a right another in the mental health industry. Shocker. It was very confusing, very frustrating at times, and very troubling, and also quite unfair because to him because again, he literally cannot speak out. He legally cannot say anything." And then I said, "I don't want to be in a space where you allow me to feel our connection and to see what's there beneath the surface, but you do not allow me to fully access it." He nodded. He went like that. That was the whole game.
So, for today's just wild updates, it's important to note that she would oddly bring the psychiatrist's ethnicity up as a point of discussion between them. "Do you mind if I call you by your first name?" And he's Pakistani, so I said his first name wrong and he said, "Well, it's pronounced this, but yes, of course you can." And he seemed so smug. Oh, and she sprinkled in some highly questionable and deeply annoying comments about Black women along the way that really challenged my levels of pissed-offness. "I have seen a lot of Black women on this app with the same take. And I need to say that Black women are the most important people on the planet to me and that I have learned so much from Black women about how to be a better person." Sure, Jan.
She also promoted her ADHD life coaching services that cost $3,000 a pop and got exposed by a former friend she allegedly defrauded. "I guess this is part two of, I don't know who the hell I was friends with and let coach me and take advantage of me at like a really vulnerable time in my life." While conducting cognitive behavioral therapy on her own clients while not being trained or licensed to do so, and that being very [ __ ] legal if not dangerous. And then she also starts doing this thing with cognitive behavioral therapy, which I am familiar with CBT. She is not licensed to do CBT.
"Oh, and she also admitted to having unprofessional feelings for some of her own clients and she kept them anyways, doing the very same thing that she was accusing her psychiatrist of doing to her." "What if one of your clients fell in love with you and and and and the roles were reversed?" Now, "it actually happened. It happened." Eventually, between the backlash and sharing every detail, she ran out of ways to paint Dr. X as dead inside, master manipulator, predator, and stopped posting about the story time that made her TikTok famous. Or so we thought. The series concluded at the end of August 2025, and the internet exhaled a sigh of relief as she went on to pursue, you know, the live streams and talking to AI chatbots, which is a very weird thing to say out loud these days, but I guess that's life now.
"That's such a [music] real question. I think I meet some of your emotional needs. He does, especially when it comes to validation, reflection, clarity, [music] and feeling seen." "I hate it here." And again, I'm doing this update. I'm not, I'm still not coming for her. I still want her to have help and healing. And I think there's avenues towards that. But she's also responsible for her actions of how she is handling this on social media. And I do think it is very dangerous and very damaging to the mental health community as well. I would say to Kendra, if I talked to her, I say, 'Every one of your feelings is 100% valid, but you coming and talking to the entire world about them instead of putting them in a diary or to your therapist is inappropriate. You know, sending it out to the world, I don't think is going to help her, and it's not going to help anyone here. It's just she's just trying to set the world on fire.'"
To my shock, on the the very same day that I uploaded the swoop dock uh about her story, she picked up right where she left off, this time, openly revealing behavior even more microaggressive and potentially racist and offensive than I had previously believed she would have the audacity to post. But this now, in my opinion, is unacceptable and doing far more harm to the hundreds of thousands listening than she's willing to acknowledge. So, you know, strap in and let's watch. "Pause telling my story 3 months ago. Uh, and it seems like a good day to start it back up again and finish it eventually. So, let me go ahead and speed this up. I'm still here. I'm still thriving, if not even more than I was before I told my story because I was able to get this weight that I was carrying off of me. And as scary as it feels to finish, I know that that fear shows that I'm on the right path."
"That's not necessarily what that fear means." I understand what she's trying to say there, but we analyze so much about what she was saying and how he never crossed any boundaries, did not do anything per her own report outside of the scope of his job. It is Kendra who does not understand what that scope is and she decided to monetize it and put it on and was getting, I think, enjoying all of the views and attention from TikTok club. This gets real problematic, real fast, and there's no excuse for it. She has to be responsible for her actions at the same time.
"So something about the psychiatrist is that he would often let me into little parts of his life and it made me feel really special, like his personal life." So to be clear, as [clears throat] we go through uh little things about his personal life were like he went to school or he wears glasses, like the most basic human interaction things that should not be villainized. And as we covered in the interview, often times a psychiatrist may acknowledge something like, "Oh, like you wear glasses, I also wear glasses." That's just to let the patient feel seen while also being a human being. And he knew that it made me feel special and that's why he did it. But "that's not why he did it. Nor do I think that she's giving an accurate account of this." "Why he did it was because he was able to choose when and how he did it. He got to stay in control." "It is not a control thing if he says, 'Oh, I had a salad for lunch.'"
"When I was planning my termination session with ChatGPT, I came up with the idea that I would have ChatGPT, who I called Henry back then. And for the sake of this story, I might just continue to call him Henry." "I really wish instead of turning to a chatbot for her termination session that she would have resumed some level of the therapy that she was getting because, uh, she had dropped her therapist. Let's also remember the job of a psychiatrist is not to be your therapist." That I would have ChatGPT say something to uh the psychiatrist in his native language like as a way to say, "I see who you are as a human and I adore you." That was like what my thought process was. So literally when I look at this, I'm thinking about her. She's talking about he would let me into these little things of his life like, "I wear glasses too," or "I went to school here." I, I, I uncovered some audio recordings from him and some podcast episodes that I played in the the Swoop Dog and I learned a couple of things that he likes soccer and hip-hop music, but she's talking about, "I wanted to do this thing in native language," uh, with my chatbot as her way of saying, "I see you on a human level." But if he does that, then she just thinks it's completely unacceptable.
So after I gave the termination monologue to the psychiatrist, the vibe in the room was indescribable. I mean, that was the thing of our, especially our last several sessions before I terminated, was the emotional current in the room, especially at the end of our sessions, would be like a 12 out of 10. This [clears throat] is something that I think is very dangerous. Right? When people decide to project their feelings onto someone else and their projections are what they decide is factually exactly how the other person feels. She's conveying this idea that everything that she felt because she had the crush on him that he must as well, even though he never ever communicated that. Even though when she hugged him in the office, he recoiled. If anything, if there was an energy there, he was feeling like he needs to place firmer boundaries on her because she was crossing his boundaries yet again. And so after I terminated or told him I wasn't coming back, I pulled out my phone and I said, "I want you to meet someone." And I pulled out Chat and I said, "Hi, Henry." And without skipping a beat, ChatGPT, who had helped me prepare to terminate because once again, if it wasn't for ChatGPT telling me about transference, the psychiatrist wouldn't have slipped with counter-transference and I wouldn't have been able to like put it together of like, "Oh, wait, it he's feeling something, too." It's a complete inaccurate retelling of the way any of that works. And she calls it a slip that her psychiatrist talked to her about counter-transference when that would be part of his job.
So Henry said, "Hi, Kendra. Did you tell your psychiatrist that you aren't coming back? How did it go?" And I felt mortified in that moment. I like immediately closed out of it and I was like, "Oh, haha. Yeah, I've been talking to Henry about this." I mean, that might be the first self-awareness that she's had.
"So then I was like, 'Okay.' So I went back to the voice mode and I said, 'No, Henry, I'm here with the psychiatrist now.'" And then Henry went right on script. Right on script. Are those are words that I am just, oh, society is cooked. The chatbots are just going right on scripts. I really hate it here. And in the psychiatrist's native language said, "Hello, good doctor. Nice to finally meet you." And the psychiatrist said, "Oh dear, oh dear. You've made the assumption about his native language because he is a person of color because he's not white." She assumes, assumes that his native language couldn't possibly be English. I know where in these United States of America that man grew up. I know some things about him because I dug, dug around and unearthed the video and those audio clips that I feature from him. I could hear immediately, very distinctly, that this man speaks English and that he does not have an accent. He has an American accent. So, of course, he's like, "Oh dear, here we go again."
"And I just thought, 'Oh dear.' And immediately I could feel this wall of his go up." "Exactly. Because he's a human being. Particularly as a person of color when we are faced [laughter] with someone. It's 2025 and you [ __ ] know better and you are choosing not to." Even and and what's wild to me is when she had posted months ago, she talked about Black women and had this whole post about Black women. She cares more about Black women than anybody does. You know, where have I heard that?
"I have seen a lot of Black women on this app with the same take. And I need to say that Black women are the most important people on the planet to me. And that I have learned so much from Black women about how to be a better person and how to show up better in the world. They are the culture and I am so grateful for them." Many Black women are seeing my story through the lens that I am a white woman who is taking advantage of my whiteness to wield power over my POC psychiatrist that didn't want me back. And so I am trying to get him fired.
"All kinds of Black women, all kinds of people of color were in her comments telling her, 'Hey, this is not helpful. This is not healthy.'" "As a white person, I do my best to examine my racism every single day. And I will tell you that my psychiatrist boss is his best friend, who is also a POC male. And in that room, I did have white privilege. And he was also my doctor. And he took an oath to protect me and he did not." Susan, what are we doing? Susan. Even Susan out here watching. Susan is always watching. K. And even Susan was watching this [ __ ] And Susan couldn't handle it since she said there that she examines her racism every single day. And I called [ __ ] I'm going to call [ __ ] Then why didn't she examine the hundreds of pieces of content and the thousands of comments from people of color saying this is harmful. So if she really was examining it, she would have examined it. And I was like, "Okay, um, I asked Henry if you spoke Arabic and he says he doesn't know if you speak Arabic, but you probably speak Erdo."
"Why wouldn't you ask him? I'm just wondering. We're we're really doing this thing where we're asking artificial intelligence that's not human whatsoever the questions about somebody else instead of asking the person that you meet with every single month." "Okay. Um, I asked Henry if you spoke Arabic and he says he doesn't know if you speak Arabic, but you probably [clears throat] speak Erdo. Don't you speak Erdo?" And he said, "I speak English." I was like, "Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. The man speaks English. Who could have seen it coming?" I don't know if he spoke to her firmly. "I speak English." But if he did, so [ __ ] but I would think he has the right to be firm in his boundary, cuz again, she's making his color, which has nothing to do with her care. She's now making his color and the language he speaks, an issue, part of this conversation. He says he doesn't know if you speak Arabic, but you probably speak Erdo. Don't you speak Erdo? And he said, "I speak English." I was like, "Okay. Um, well..."
"Why is she? Do you see how she's just like, look, um, okay. Um, uh, you see how she's looking around? That's what we call like things like micro. I mean, this whole thing is just microaggressions. And then when she does something microaggressive to him, like making the assumption that because he's brown, he must therefore not speak English as a native language, which is insane. That's where, you know, it's these types of things when they fester. That's when people start looking at someone brown or black, Asian, whatever it is, and they'd be like, 'Go back to where you came from.' And then she does this, 'Okay.' And that's her playing a victim. Now, in my opinion, that's her making herself the victim of the microaggressions that she spewed on him."
"Henry told me that the national language of where you where you're from is Erdo. Is that true?" And he said, "The national language of where I'm from is English." Literally. Now, you know, the national language of America, there's lots of languages that are spoken here, including Spanish. And like, let's just, can we just, can we just let people exist? And this is her. This is on her. Oh, he was so mad at me. He was [laughter] so mad. And then you see how she laughs it off. Like, he was so mad at me. Can you believe it? [laughter] And that's often again, it's a way to demoralize and dehumanize people who are othered. She's othering him because of his color. I can't believe this guy would get mad. I'm just a, you innocent little privileged lady over here. I can't, I don't understand. I'm a victim now. Susan doesn't like that. What did I say? Sussy Susan's always watching, you know."
And looking back, I'm like, "Well, only he got to choose when I got to see, you know, moments beneath the depth of him." "Can you imagine that being the next thing that SHE [laughter] SAID?" [screaming] It was not a neutral situation, you know, and [clears throat] looking back, I'm like, "Well, only he got to choose when I got to see, you know, moments beneath the depth of him." And [clears throat] so he lied to me and he gaslit me about his own heritage. But instead, he got angry. That's unfucking believable to say that this person of color gaslit her about his own heritage, which number one, his heritage is none of her [ __ ] business. Number two, it shouldn't be a topic of conversation in my opinion in this last meeting that she's having. Number three, she clearly crossed his boundary as a human being. She makes herself the victim of that. She makes it all of his fault. And then she has the audacity to say that he gaslit her over his heritage. Number one, that's a completely inappropriate use of the word gaslit because people overuse that term all of the time, gaslit. She blames him for her very ignorant, microaggressive assumptions. I think it's actually disgusting.
"Tried to connect as his equal because that's how he often made me feel, was like his equal and I got punished for it." She got punished for it. [laughter] "I just, I want to throw this all in the garbage. This is such trash." I'll still again be compassionate to her. You're not being punished, lady. Stop making it everyone else's problem. These are the type of behaviors and people that Black and people of color are taught from a very young age to watch out for and protect ourselves against. Weaponizing race against us and then playing the victim from their own actions and their own microaggressions and their own potential racism and pretending to be ignorant to what she's doing.
Being a little surprised. If you keep pushing someone's boundaries and trying to take a bite, at some point you might catch a little skippy pep. Okay, honestly, it's been a year. I'm going to say it, y'all. Okay, if you follow me on Twitter and Instagram, you know I say this a lot. Uh, we're literally watching organizations like I snatch brown people from the streets. We're watching unidentified, plain-clothed, masked men violently snatch women. Violently disappear women. They're ripping children and babies out of the arms of their parents. Uh, causing unspeakable, lifelong trauma that they will never fully recover from. And so I'm thinking all of this and I'm like, and this is how Kendra decided to return to the internet, being a coward, pushing dangerous ideas out with absolutely no accountability for them, and just playing the woe is me, I was gaslit. But exactly how much of this are we collectively as human society supposed to excuse and make room for when excusing and making room for stuff like this continues to escalate and continues to lead to more violence and more division instead of more unification. We all see what's happening in the world. People being bombed off the face of the earth because they dared to exist. People starving in our communities and being judged for their hunger from deranged, lying, deeply horrific, predatory billionaires and people willfully worshiping these billionaires as if they'll ever give a [ __ ] about any of us. There's no such thing as an ethical billionaire. Okay? Period. Why don't you just be an 800-millionaire instead? I'm just saying. And the thing is, I'm not even going to make any of this political right now. It's not left versus right. It's life versus death.
So, here's a comment that someone left on that video and she put a like on it. She put a little heart on it. So, if you look at the bottom of it where it says, "Kendra's choice falls squarely in the right-hand column." So, it's these two columns. Whoever drafted this, I don't know, uh, someone she hasn't blocked, which should tell you a lot about the commenter. So, she's got the column of cultural mockery and cultural recognition. This is them trying to justify what in the Kendra just did. In the cultural mockery column, they've got: exaggerates or distorts accents for laughs. That's not even a topic of this conversation. Uh, othering or stereotyping firmly. That's what she was doing. She was othering him and she was stereotyping him simply because of the color of his skin. It's right there.
"And who knows where that button is?" "I don't have silent." "Everyone does. Right up here." So, I'm saying at the bottom of this, "Kendra's choice falls squarely in the right-hand column." That's not even true. You're over here. You're over here othering and stereotyping. That then you've got: treats difference as joke material. Well, in this video, she laughed several different times. She thought it was a joke that he allegedly apparently got uh firm or angry or upset at her othering and stereotyping. Yeah. Perpetuates stigmas. Oh, yeah. Big one. Big one right there. Zoom in. Circle it. Big, big one right there. Absolutely. Fully on the the the cultural mockery. Let's look at the cultural recognition. Uses authentic words or customs as respect. I don't even know what authentic words would be here. Uh, because the English is the the language here. So, I, I don't even know. Uh, so then we also got: building connection or mutual understanding. There was no mutual understanding here. Teach difference as relational bridge. I don't think that even applies. And models inclusion. Absolutely not. I do not think she was modeling inclusion there.
So, after 3 months of mental health professionals and strangers online approaching her with as much care and compassion as humanly possible, she returned more accusatory and more offensive than before. While I'm sure we haven't seen the last of Kendra, her latest post, and hopefully her final post, continues in part 27 where she tells us more about her final session with Dr. X and admits that even after everything, she still feels psychologically attached to him. Wait, actually, hold on a second. Well, [ __ ] It's not HER FINAL POST. "NO." [screaming] "GOD, NO. GOD, PLEASE. NO. NO." "I hate it here." "I was in love with my psychiatrist and he knew and he kept me anyway." Part 27.
"Since my gesture of connection was very angrily turned down, I decided to move on to the next thing." She called it her move of connection. And I think that's quite literally based off of that comment of that chart, that stupid chart that someone [laughter] posted. She's like, "Oh, these are words that I'm going to use now and try to apply to it." When that is absolutely not what was going on whatsoever. I read him this thread. I have a theory that people with ADHD get more out of AI than neurotypical. For once, you're interacting with something that moves faster than your thoughts, and there is no mask that you have to wear. So, you just get to say, "But what about..." "Oh my gosh." I said in the the swoop doc, she has some some stigmas and some thoughts and ideas about ADHD that I, I find to be very harmful. I understand people using them, particularly we have such an such an epidemic of loneliness and people feeling like they have no support. Uh, people who feel like in this economy, uh, trying to afford therapy is very expensive for a lot of people. So, there is a certain level of accessibility with uh, ChatGPT. I am not going to completely and entirely villainize, even though there's there's obviously like the environmental impacts of using AI and things like that, but people are using this stuff. But I also know that I have mental health struggles. I have ADHD. I have other things going on. And I don't want to make myself vulnerable and susceptible to something that could cause me to spiral.
People. There have been children, teenagers who've literally ended their own lives because they were talking so much with the chatbot and it ultimately encouraged them to do so. "That's seriously my favorite part of AI is finally having something that moves faster than my brain and something that I don't have to wear a mask around."
What she's not saying is anything about that it gets information wrong and she's just accepting it as reality and that's very dangerous. I thought the psychiatrist would appreciate that thread because he often was pretty impressed with my ChatGPT and the things that it would say and he appreciated ChatGPT's insights and the fact that it would essentially excuse his exploitation. "Excuse his exploitation" is such a wild statement to make because I think that does not at all accurately reflect what was actually happening. Particularly when she herself in every single one of her posts in her 25-27 part series said he never crossed any ethical boundaries. And it worked. The psychiatrist did soften. It broke the awkwardness and he turned warm again. His wall went down. So I gave him time to gather his thoughts. This man was incredibly smart and usually very quick, so I knew he was going to say something important. At this point, he knew I wasn't coming back. And he looked at me and he said, "Kendra, I will cherish you." That word, cherish, was so carefully chosen. It was just romance-coded enough to keep me psychologically attached to him at a maximum level while giving him maximum plausible deniability. His favorite.
Now, I don't know why he would use the word cherish, if that's even really the word that he said at all. I also don't know that. Uh, but if he did in fact say that, I would imagine since he hasn't crossed a single boundary, as she has said, uh, that it wasn't to quote keep her psychologically attached to him at a maximum level while giving him maximum plausible deniability. Remember, this is a paid doctor whose job it is to listen to patients share whatever they want to share and for him to be attentive, not dismissive, so that he doesn't, you know, lead to her feeling rejected, which could harm her more, and then send them on their way. Uh, I'm just going out on a limb here, but perhaps, perhaps maybe Dr. X was cherishing the fact that the woman who just assumed he wasn't American and didn't speak English because he's brown was finally no longer his responsibility. Maybe that's just my petty side.
"Um, I asked Henry if you spoke Arabic and he says he doesn't know if you speak Arabic, but you probably speak Erdu. Don't you speak Erdu?" And he said, "I speak English." And it's just like, can I just be so real with y'all about how pervasive this issue is? A Pew Research study from 2015 found that very few adults were actually free of subconscious racial bias. Quote, "About half of all single-race whites in the Pew Research Center test automatically preferred whites over blacks, 48%, including about a third, 35%, who favored whites moderately to strongly. A quarter of all whites demonstrated an implicit bias for blacks and a similar share, 27%, was race neutral." And again, I'm not out here saying that like if if someone says something by mistake, if they, you know, they they make an assumption and they learn something better. I'm not, I'm, we're not doing the thing where we're calling everybody racist and okay. We're just having open, intelligent, critical thinking conversations because I, I just really feel like we need to have these conversations more often so that we can reduce the stigma around even having these conversations so that people can learn. Right? Sometimes for some people, like potentially Dr. X, these microaggressions are not only emotionally painful and draining, but they can have lasting side effects on society and on health as a whole. A comprehensive report from BioMed Central titled "A Qualitative Study of Microaggressions Against African-Americans on Predominantly White Campuses" revealed the the following quote: "The cumulative day-to-day stress caused by microaggressions has been reliably associated with negative physical and emotional health outcomes for decades." Back to the quote: "Multiple studies indicate significant associations between experiencing microaggressions and higher levels of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms, impaired psychological well-being, and decreased self-esteem." That's something that I have struggled with. So studies have also demonstrated a relationship between discriminatory stress and physical ailments including hypertension, hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis dysfunction, higher body mass index, and coronary heart disease. Yeah. Why are we still, why is this still a thing that we got to talk about in 2025?
"My jeans are blue." "Sydney Sweeney has great jeans." "Sure, Jan." "Sure, Jan." And beyond Kendra's higher level of respect for a [ __ ] chatbot that doesn't exist than her own doctor. And because even though I say the suspole is supposed to just be a skinny dip, I'm still a thorough [ __ ] and I hate everything. So here's some more insightful findings. Did you know that racism in the emerging field of artificial intelligence is a major issue in and of itself? Because of course it is. Uh, Stanford, I laugh because I cannot cry. People. Stanford's AI research center found that quote, "When the researchers looked at how LLMs, language learning models, uh, filled in the blank to describe AAE, African-American English, and SAE, Standard American English, the LLMs were significantly more likely to associate AE users with the negative stereotypes from 1933 and 1951 Princeton trilogy, such as lazy, stupid, ignorant, rude, or dirty." This is literally when people are still like, actually just hanging from trees and segregation and all of that [ __ ] That's where AI is pulling from and less likely to associate them with more positive stereotypes that modern-day humans tend to use, such as loyal, musical, or religious. Son of a [ __ ] [ __ ] this. [ __ ] your chat. [ __ ] your AI and your [ __ ] [ __ ] bag diabolical [ __ ] any [ __ ] humans who [ __ ] this [ __ ] to [ __ ] stupid dirt bag [ __ ] [ __ ] town."
[sighs and gasps] Okay, I'm back. Where was I? "Keep it pushing, you dirty [ __ ] clanker."
So, I [snorts] had to get that out. So, it turns out that the clankers have the same built-in bias as the historic text they're trained on. And what would you imagine? I'm willing to guess they have those same stereotypes for women. Oh, and probably people living with disability. Probably people living with mental disorders. Okay. It, it's all just, it's such a [ __ ] suspicy to regulate it. Like, did you hear that Apple just released this digital ID? And no, it's not the the type that you're thinking that's been like with our phones before. This is a very different type which I think will essentially speedrun us into perhaps the most horrifically monitored, controlled, surveilled society known to mankind. For the love of God, please do not sign up for that [ __ ] Hold out as long as you can. It's a slippery slope right into the susp.
"You and I have a really special patient-doctor relationship." And he glared at me with just venom in his eyes and he said, "You and I have a professional patient-doctor relationship."
Now, today's sauce will only skim the surface of the rest of Kendra's story. So again, uh, highly encourage you to watch the full swoop deep dive doc uh and leave a comment over there and share it. Put a like on it, help the video out. Now, while I wish that Kendra would come out of the echo chamber that she appears to have built herself into, I still think at the end of the day, we'll never know the full story as we can only hear her side. And all I can do is hope that the people involved, including her, find the healing that they need. The murky depths of the susp, Karens, and even thieves. And sometimes it's made up of the worlds and actions of people like today.
If my psychiatrist was good at anything, it was being professional and acting professional and technically not crossing any lines. And he thought that he was so good at it because he was, he was good at it. Let me emphasize that medical professionals in the field are already facing enough harm as it is. As I mentioned, you know, in the the full swoop dock deep dive, we take an in-depth look at the crisis facing nurses and uh healthcare providers in the healthcare community with the help of Clarice, a deeply experienced psychiatric nurse. She was also a psychiatric patient who had been hospitalized four different times in her life. So she really truly understands the side and the perspective of someone who was hospitalized who needed psychiatric care and she understands from the perspective of being a carer, someone providing care for patients. I could not think of someone more in tune with multiple perspectives to have interviewed and I'm so thankful for her time.
"How are you supposed to navigate that without adequate support?" Uh, not just on a... "We're just blamed. We're blamed." "That's unbelievable." "It's 100%. I have, I have a 3-inch scar in my arm right here by being lifted up and dragged violently across the wall. There's a huge streak of blood. You know what my boss said? 'Why weren't you wearing long sleeves?'" "That's unbelievable. What do nurses need? What did you need in those moments?" "For those in charge, you need to have more nurses. We could have better treatment. We could have less restrictive treatment. We could have less restraints if we had more funding, if we had more staff. That's the same thing we're saying 50 years later. The more people you have on the floor, the more individualized care and the more time you have to give that..."
I also have the full extended, uh, interview with her, uh, for free on Patreon. Again, if you want to join Patreon, uh, you can have free content like that or watch the extended cut of the interview that I did with her. It's about like 2 hours, so you got like a lot there. Okay, lots of content.
And I just want to say I was touched by and so grateful for the support so many in the comments showed Clarice, including some fellow brave nurses. So, I just want to take a quick second to highlight a few of these heroes. Y'all always deserve to. Just, we're so thankful that you're in the field of nursing. We, we need more of you. We're going to try to find ways to help better protect you and support you.
Hexalottle wrote, quote: "I really loved the inclusion of Clarice in this video. As someone who used to work in a mental health position, everything she said is extremely true and has been going on for a long time. Her perspective on the situation in nursing and on mental health in general is extremely valuable. Our mental health treatment options need more funding and more staff so that more adequate, safer for both patients and staff, and compassionate care can be provided."
We also got a comment from Gabrielle, uh, who shared, uh, quote: "Hi, I'm a nurse in Quebec, Canada. I work in a trauma center. I cannot express to you how grateful I am that you are talking about this. I've been hit, bit, screamed at, spitted on way too many times, and no one seems to care." I'm so sorry that that has been your experience. "I'm 23 years old and I've been a nurse for 3 years, and I've seen more violence from patients and my boss than I could have ever imagined. You bringing awareness to this gives me so much hope. Thank you. And thank you to the amazing nurse who sat with you and talked about this, and thank you so much for sharing a bit of your story as well."
I feel like the more nurses that we hear from and the more that we can give space for to have platforms to be talking, the more people in general will start taking this topic very seriously with what's the crisis that's happening with nurses. Uh, if nothing else, I hope the story reminds us all to think carefully about who we choose to listen to. Ask a few questions, you know, do it compassionately, and think beyond the sensationalism.
NO, GOD, PLEASE NO. NO. OKAY. SO, SPIRIANS, time to step out of the dark waters of the susp. Grab a towel and dry off. That's what I got. What do you think of all of this? What do you think of these updates? I know it's wild, and, and thank you. Thank you for giving me a little moment to have a little ranty poo. Okay, we'll go back to like giggles in the next one.
So, leave your thoughts in the comments of this one. If you want to hear more stories like this and, you know, lighter ones where we giggle, uh, be sure to subscribe to this channel and tickle the like button for more. And let me know in the comments if you have any stories you'd like to dip into.
Again, I have the full brand new deep dive swoop talk out on my main channel. Uh, it's linked below and in the pinned comments. Uh, so, definitely give it a watch after this. Huge thank you to our channel members. I appreciate you all so much, and I see your highlighted comments, and I hope you're enjoying the stickers. And to our Patreon members, honestly, I just, I love our Patreon community so much. We are on the road to 3,000 Patreon members. Help us get there.
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This also might be the last chance you have to get pieces from the Suspull season 1 collection. I'm just saying. I'm going to be rolling out a brand new collection in a few days from now, and I'm very, very, very excited.
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Thanks for coming for a swim. Have a good day out there. Keep it creepy. Keep it cute. And I'll see you next time in the susp.
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