Transcription
All righty, boys. Welcome back to the channel. Today's video, most self-respecting men will be single with no girlfriend or friend circle. First time covering this channel. Uh, his name is Headspace with Spiro. So, if you like his content, go check him out.
For those of you who also want to watch the video uninterrupted, you can find a link to this video that I'm talking about in the video description. So, go over there if you don't want to hear me carry on. For those of you that are here for that, let's do it.
I'll never fall into this boat of shaming men for having small social circles. I'll never fall into this boat of shaming men for not having a lot of friends and and being single because I see way too many men nowadays getting in relationships, being around people who aren't even their real friends just out of insecurity, just so they they they're not alone because they're not at peace with themselves being alone. You have to ask yourselves these people that seem so happy on the surface level, they're a lot of the times the most miserable ones deep down.
Yeah, I want to talk about that because I think these we've got some good topics we're going to touch today. Okay. I want to talk about generally life as a man uh in this video and some of the things that happen when you become a certain age and some of the things some of the things you start to realize about life maybe the your friendship groups that you've had in the past uh relationships with women um you've had or are in you know things become a lot clearer uh to you when you uh have your eyes open and become a little bit more worldly some people get there sooner than others but the first point I want to talk about is friend circles.
So, a lot of people out there um they meet the majority of their friends through school or maybe university the latest, but genius is through school. You got your sort of core you call group of the gents, the lads, the boys, whatever you want to call them, uh that you met. You might have four, five, six friends, [snorts] maybe three depending, you know, everyone's circumstance is different, but they're guys that you connect well with and you build long-term uh friendships with. However, I think one of the more confronting things as you sort of get older and people drift apart, uh people's lives go in different directions, people's responsibilities, you know, they're not always equal. Some people might have kids, some people might have kids, some people might have big demanding jobs, others might not. What whatever what I'm getting at is people drift off. People go away. And this can be very distressing to people who have made a lot of effort over the years to maintain friendships uh with men with with with these guys. You know, it's a long term. So, it can be very uh upsetting when you can see it's sort of on the rocks. These people don't want to make an effort with you anymore uh or aren't checking in with you. And the only time that you're ever going to see them uh is if you do, you check in on them or you suggest something or you make an effort to go and see them. And it's very common because there's always a giver and a taker uh when it comes to uh any kind of, you know, relationship or bond. So I find and I found you really learn who your friends are, your true friends, true people in your life, who they are as you get older, as you all have pressure tested lives.
Think about this. Those of you that are out there, uh, you may be married, you may not be married, you may have girlfriends, you might not, but your friends out there who are in relationships, you know, married or not, whatever. Are they actively trying to make an effort to maintain uh the friendship that you've had with them over the years? Generally, most people fall off the radar and they don't, especially when kids come into the equation. But you guys all know what it's like if you say you're trying to arrange a catchup. You're trying to get all three or four or five of the guys in one place at once. Uh, and it's just about n impossible for one reason or another. You can't do it or these guys can't make decisions for themselves. They don't want to rock the boat at home or whatever it might be. You start to learn who who your friends are.
Another way you'll learn who your friends truly are is if you stop reaching out. You might have been the guy who always tried to instigate and plan things wi with your friends. You'll learn how genuine people are when you stop doing that. And if they make an effort to see you, they go, "Hang on, I haven't heard from, I don't know, Johnny or Jimmy, Gman, Davo, Steo. Haven't heard from him in a while. Might give him a call and see if he wants to catch up, have a beer, or just hang out or whatever. I might just check in. Just even give him a phone call to see how he's going. We haven't heard from him in a bit." If they don't do that, there's your answer. It's the same. It almost it's almost the same if you're out there bloody dating, you know, and women aren't trying to make effort with you because they don't care about you. And it's a really hard thing to realize, especially after 10, 15, 20 years. And that's what I'm getting at here in that first point.
Second to that, I think a lot of single guys out there who are critical thinkers and can identify patterns and trends, they see a lot of their friends going through really bad times in life, generally at the hands of women. Generally, when it comes through a divorce process, they'll see that guy might be a brother. It might be a friend, a guy at work the same age or maybe a bit older, a mentor, your own dad, your uncle, whatever. You've seen these guys go through all these hard times and you start really questioning really questioning what what am I getting out of putting myself into that situation and interaction? Probably not a lot. And I'm putting my life, my survival, my financial health, my future, everything, my mental health, physical health, all on the line for a woman who at any moment, just like those friends of yours that you might have had growing up, can lose interest and just want out. But the thing about the friends is there isn't a huge cost or financial cost to it. But when it comes to getting divorced, you can lose it all. People say, "No, it's only 50%. You don't lose it all." A lot of the time you're in debt anyway. Think about this. You're in debt. You've bought a house. You leave it up. What happens when you get separated? You got to refinance that house at today's prices. More debt to pay a woman out. Or if you sell, you're left with a a few a bit of money maybe in your pocket, but then you're out of the housing market. You've lost your home. You've lost your safety net. Um, you've lost your family structure. Really horrible thing to go through. So guys are seeing that and going, I don't think I want to do that. Now society and other guys will still shame you if you make those decisions based on absolutely blatantly true information.
Anyway, I'm going to keep going. Before I do, guys, um, consider hyping the video. Like, comment, and share. Subscribe to the channel if you're new. Let's keep the let's get the channel going. Unfortunately, I had to do a bit of a cleanup and delete another 30 or so videos to get back in the program. Uh, so the reach on my channel got impacted by that a little bit. So I'm getting a lot lower views than normal. But however, support the channel, push it out, share with your friends. Let's get me out there for those of you who I'm still popping up uh in your feeds, help me out, help the J dog if you want to, by the way. Also, if you want to support the channel further, there's the locals page as well, and it has a lot of exclusive content over there for a few bucks a month. So go check it out if you would like to. If you don't want to do that, let's keep watching and I'll let this guy speak for a bit before I carry on.
Again, good tangent already because they're doing things for all the wrong reasons. Like, I know so many men who are in relationships, who have been in relationships that overlook a bunch of red flags. They start taking disrespect. They start getting walked all over. And every time it backfires, but they're they're miserable in their personal lives, in their private lives, they're miserable. And even after the relationship, they're miserable. They start to to develop a disdain against women because of the toxicity. And it's just crazy how there's a lot of this pressure and shame towards single men for not being in relationships when it's like you have to ask yourself why would someone compromise their self-respect and self-restraint by the way which is part of being masculine just to say they're in a relationship that's living for other people's approval not your own well-being you know the other thing I see too is this whole happy wife happy life which I've seen done a lot of damage on people because again they seem to misunderstand dynamics. They seem to misunderstand masculine frame leadership. Like I used to sell stuff on Facebook marketplace. There's been countless times where I'm about to meet with a person last minute they say, "Oh, my wife isn't okay with me doing this. My wife isn't okay with me spending the money. My wife is not okay with me going and getting something to treat myself." Like look, I could understand if it was a mutual thing like a dinner table for the family. Sure, you'd want to get the wife and kids' opinions, but when it's something for yourself, you shouldn't have your own happiness deterred just for someone else. And it happens non.
That's it, too. So, think about this. Um, guys, you've been in relationships before, being in and out of them. At the start, these women, they like your hobbies. You could be anything. You could be painting Warhammer figures. um they'll go along with the flow with anything stamp collecting, butterfly buddy collecting, whatever it might be, whatever your thing is that that you get excited about that you have outside of work and it's your thing in your spare time that you look forward to doing and you like to treat yourself and spend money on. But eventually they get to a point where they want you to stop doing that. Uh they will say you're spending too much time doing it, you're spending too much money doing it, or they'll blatantly tell you they think it's dorky. uh you should be spending more time doing other things that create actually you more value. All that sort of stuff. I know it's happened to me. I know it's happened to a lot of other guys. I admit this stuff. I will tell you because this channel I talk about things that have happened to me and then I speak to a lot of other guys about now. I doing a lot of phone calls now. I got a lot of guys who call me. I'm speaking to guys weekly now and they really resonate with the things I'm talking about because it's so relatable.
Now you might like golf and that makes you know you go play 18 holes of golf or 36 holes if you're really into it on a Saturday or a Sunday. You're out all day from dust till dawn. You used to do that all the time but now it's this big thing. You're going fishing. you can't go out on the boat, go fishing because it takes all day and she wants you out at home doing chores and [ __ ] or making you go to plans uh events that you don't want to go to. Okay? And I've talked about this one, but it's a good one that guys relate to. It's 42 degrees. It's the middle of summer. It's a Sunday. The last place you want to be is in the middle of a park, at a barbecue, or some sort of picnic for a baby that belongs to a woman that your wife or girlfriend works with that you don't know anyone else and or they don't care if you're there. The baby certainly doesn't care. You're there. You have to go and stand in this stupid park. And all the guys are standing there sweating, just sort of looking at each other. They might have a stubby in hand just nodding and watching the kids run around in the playground is thinking the last place I want to be right now. Press X guys if that is something you've experienced before.
Stop. These men get walked all over. Like I have a lot of friends of mine who are in relationships or have been in relationships and they'll be in the car with me and like I overhear the conversations on the phone with them and their girlfriend and just the disrespectful demanding tone. the girl hangs up the phone on them literally every time. And I'm like, these men are taking disrespect on a daily basis just to say that they're in a relationship or just because in a lot of cases they can't handle being alone. Which really gets me my point is that people seem to not even understand what a real healthy friendship or relationship even looks like. It's not just about filling an empty void because you're insecure, because you can't handle being by yourself. The times I've been alone are some of the times where I've made the most progress in my life, where I really was on my grind, where I really was locked in. I didn't have these kind of distractions or derailments. And that's my point with the happy wife, happy life stuff with people who are haters. If you're going to surround yourself with those people, they're just going to derail you from your mission and purpose. And and and it's crazy too, even with friendships, like I've had many people that they'll call you bro, they'll shake your hand, they'll dab you up, you'll even know their family and people close to them, but deep down they're just haters. They don't want to see you do well. They might want to act like they want to see you do well up into a certain baseline, which that >> that is a fantastic point of this guy, mate.
So, I' I've experienced this uh myself uh in my life. Unfortunately, people, not just friends, it could be friends, it can be family, it's colleagues, it's anybody. People have tall puppy syndrome and they don't like to see people uh achieving. They might feain feain that uh on the outside, the exterior, but they'll find a way to give you some uh remark to to put you down or make you second guess your achievement or or what you're doing or whatever it may be or backhanded compliment or a backhanded joke that you know reduces the confidence in what you're doing. You guys know what I'm talking about. People who do that, just get them out of your life because they're going to continuously bring you down.
A lot of men also get threatened uh when they see a friend of theirs who's excelled, who's put his head down, uh really knuckled down, gone through the trenches, the wars, really developed, and maybe got a really great job or started their own business and the business is taking off. Or maybe they made some investments and the investments took off. and you'll see the true uh side of people out there uh who who will say things or expect you because you're doing well to give them money and [ __ ] like that. You know, you you the last thing you do, guys, is tell people how much money you've got or how much money you've made because people always want a slice whether it's directly or indirectly. You'll have people asking you for loans or just asking for help. Or you go out for drinks with friends or family and they just expect you to pay for everything, the whole thing on the house, eh? Because you're doing well. Well, you're doing well. You can pay for it all. Like it's community money. Sometimes it's better to keep your successes to yourself. Keep your projects you're doing to yourself.
Even women, even the women in your life, they don't want to, a lot of them don't want to see you succeed that well because they're afraid you're going to bail on them. It might it might mean you have to move somewhere for a job. It might mean you have to take an opportunity that makes it harder and gives you less time to spend time with her. Whatever it might be, try and talk you out of it. You might be wanting to make an investment that you feel very comfortable with that you think down the line 5 10 years could make you a lot of money. Maybe a property, maybe a a fund, whatever it might be, a business idea. They'll try and talk you out of it because it removes safety and security out of their life. So, people want to bring you down for many different kinds of reasons. Whether it's for ego, whether it's for for self-interest, >> baseline usually being where they're at in life. They don't want to see you do beyond them in a lot of cases.
I mean, [sighs] that's again why I think it's good to be close with your family, why it's good to be close with your parents. When I hear a lot of this talk of being out of the house at 18 and going across the country and going across the state, again, some weird societal pressure understands something that's not normal in most parts of the world. But your father, your biological father or even stepfather are some of the few people, perhaps the only person in your life, a man who is going to get genuine joy out of seeing you do better than them, out of seeing you growing up growing up with in a better predicament than they did, you know. And I understand there are some cases where I've heard of toxic family members and it's a shame, but for the most part, that's the truth. Your father is one of the only people who is going to get genuine joy out of seeing you do better than them. That's why I'm so against a lot of the distancing yourself from family. Like I even have a friend of mine from India who I knew from the gym. And I think he's in his 40s, but he lives with his mom. He cares for her, right? He takes care of her. And there was a girl he was talking to. And she basically said, "Oh, I'm not coming over and hanging out with you because your mom's in the house." I'm like, "So, you expect this man to put you, a girl he's only known for a number of weeks over his own mother who brought him into this world, who raised him, took care of when he was sick as a kid, you expect him to drop that and put you a buffer?" I mean, how entitled are >> very interesting.
But however, if you're in the west, being at home and living with a parent in your 40s is going to be a huge detriment whether you like it or not um to the dating market. I mean, there'll be guys out there who might go through divorces in their early 30s, 40s, whatever. They might need to go home and live with the parents, go home and live with dad, live with mom because their whole life's blown up. And when you're in that situation, rebuilding your life, very hard to go and date because these women out there, they want someone who's readym made they can take advantage of, not you who is digging themselves out of a hole or who is perceived to be strange because you have a a strong relationship with your family. you know, a lot of people, say even Australia, don't really understand cultural and family ties um from maybe Europeans and and and people from other countries across the world, Asian families who all live in multigenerational households and I guess um Indian like he was talking about. But to to to say that, you know, you don't you don't obviously put women in front of your family, but the you're on the west here. You're in Australia, US, or whatever. People are going to think that's weird. And I don't think it's strange at all. If you need you can use whatever you can to get a leg up in this world, especially when you're recovering from a big setback. But yeah, it will affect it. In in so much as saying that, what I've noticed about a lot of women as well is they get very jealous with men who have close relationships with their mothers who they might speak to the mother daily or weekly or whatever it might be or the mom wants to come around. Women don't like that because it's territorial. All right? And they don't want to see someone uh getting more attention whatever it's someone's mother than they're getting from the husband. It's all about it's very sort of childish, immature type stuff. And that's why there's that stereo out stereotype out there that wives don't get along or girlfriends don't get along with the mother and they have a clash and they get [ __ ] with each other because it's a territorial. But the point that he was saying, if you've got someone who's trying to distance you from your family or making you feel less than because you got a strong bond with your mom or your dad or whoever it is, your brother or sister, tell them to go and kick rocks. You don't want people like that in your life.
Some women nowadays, that's crazy to me. How entitled are some people, and I see a lot of men making that mistake. They get with a girl who they've only known for a number of weeks or month, and all of a sudden, they drop their mission and purpose. They drop spending time with friends and family that they've known their whole life, and they wonder why they're getting disrespected in their relationships. They wonder why the dynamics are so off. I mean, it's just totally backwards. Like, even the last girl who I one of the last girls who I who I talked to, who I was going to go on a date with, I met her at a memorial, and I touched on this in a previous video. Um, sadly, one of my friends passed away at the age of 30. He was doing things to his body that he shouldn't have been doing. I'll put it that way. But, I met this girl at the memorial. She hit me up on Instagram and we were talking. I was going to meet up with her, but I blew off those plans because I came to find out that she was in a relationship with a man who was in the army. He was not in the country at the moment. She was at his apartment driving his car and taking care of his daughter, which by the way was not her daughter. And I'm like, why would any man settle for a woman like that? And even with the hookup culture stuff because I know a lot of men who struggle with >> why why do men settle for women like that?
Because there's a lot of scarcity out there, man. There's a lot of guys who have um a scarcity mindset when it comes to women. Like they're fortunate, they're lucky, they're uh they feel chosen and selected to get attention from even the lowest barrier women in life. And it gives them a dopamine kick. That's why that's why guys get on with women like that. That's why you see bloody single moms out there with four kids from three guys or four kids from four guys. You think that they would be persona on grat after doing that the first time. Guys keep doing it. Men will tell you what they can get. Especially if they're getting action. Most guys will cut off their arm for a little bit of action for a little bit of strange lust who have struggled with lust and they they acknowledge that problem. You know, I try to I I talk to them about that and try to help them. But but they they acknowledge that it's an issue. But even if you're into that kind of stuff, why would you why would you reduce yourself? Why would you make a fool of yourself of doing anything with a woman like that? I mean, it's crazy to me, especially with relationships. You see some of the red flags. If she's doing that to that man, why would you expect her to do any differently? She's going to do the same to you, bro. Like, that's the truth. It's it's just wild how you know we have and again me and a lot of men have these kind of conversations about dating traditional women and that kind of stuff. And my thing is this what I've come to conclude is that if if it's not going to lead to anything serious, if it's not a girl that I could see myself introducing to my parents or marrying or having raised my kids down the line, it's a waste of time. And even a lot of the guys I know who are >> I think it's a great attitude to have.
Um, unfortunately it's not one that is very common. I do find it's men generally from sort of European or anything non-western sort of backgrounds that will have a lot more standards around that. They had their eyes open and they know just what they're going to accept and what they're not going to accept when it comes to treatment from women. And I made a video about Asian women yesterday and someone made a comment on that saying the reason why Asian women don't go for Asian men is because Asian men are going to hold them to account and won't put up with their westernized behavior. They're going to expect them to behave in a way that doesn't shame or disrespect the boyfriend and also add a lot of value. And so white guys don't make the women do that. [laughter] So that's why they put up with those. Perfect sense. Perfect sense. you know, going to raves and and and going to nightclubs and getting with girls and all that kind of stuff. They they at least acknowledge like that's a waste of time. They know that. Again, everyone has their vices. No one's perfect, but they at least are humble enough at least when they talk to me about it. They're humble enough to acknowledge that it is a waste of time. That's why you see a lot of men that are going to stay single. like he he another time recently most recently the the date I went on I met this girl and and again I was making plans of hey let's meet this time at this place and she wanted to go in and change stuff to like challenge me or take the lead and that kind of stuff and it's crazy because you almost have to be like [gasps] you almost have to be like toxic in a way just to have the dynamics be somewhat normal in a relationship. Again, it shouldn't have to be that way. Like I don't want to have >> That's backwards, isn't it?
That's the thing. You know, you get guys out there who um haven't been, I guess, tainted by going out and doing the multi dating because it happens to men as well. And I've had guys say, "Oh, no, G man, you're wrong. You're a simple whatever because you say that men get affected by multi-dating and womanizing." No, I know it isn't to the same extent as what women do doing the same thing, but it does affect you. Like, it does. But if you're a guy out there who'sn't done that and you've got um some values and morals and ethics um about you that had that haven't yet been compromised, you're going to find it very hard to go out there and date women and and just deal with the way that they're carrying on and being able to turn a blind eye to it. Have to be crazy and and super this and that. You should be able to just be masculine, be stoic, be normal, and not have to play these hurdles and games. Like, she's just trying to test me or whatever that was, but she wanted to meet like seven hours earlier at a different place. And then when I finally did end up getting to meet with her, it was almost like you were talking to a man, like someone trying to be a father figure. It was not feminine at all. And and believe me, guys, I'm someone that is on their masculine frame. I'm not someone who's going to compromise and be disrespected and walk all over. So, why would I be in a relationship with someone like that? And that's such a common occurrence nowadays, you know, even when when me and my friends will talk about where to meet good women because again, I don't want to be pessimistic. I want to be real. I want to be living in reality. But I I of course I do think there's good women out there. I I know people who are happily married and stuff like that. But my point being is that a lot of the times people talk about they talk about places like like college, which I'm not of college age anymore. They talk about libraries, church, and that kind of stuff, which is is is great. I'm all for. But even in those settings, you still have to have your guard up. You still have to have very good discernment. There was a girl who I was talking to. I was when I was in university and some of the stuff coming out of her mouth, I'm telling you the most vulgar like online movie stuff video you could think of. I don't even need to go into detail about what I mean by that. And by the way, this was a girl claiming to be a virgin, which that was probably a flatout lie.
I >> One thing I want to talk about that uh heaps of guys don't really know or want to come to accept is women are worse than men. Women are far worse than men when it comes to um action, so to speak. You you'll meet women and if you're a Steo or Bry or whatever, wherever you're from, and they're into it and all about it, they can try and have that innocent exterior, 5 minutes later they're asking you to choke them out, spit in their mouth, slap them in the face. The list goes on. Put him in a Lex Luga torture rack, right? I [ __ ] you not. Some of the most filthy sessions I ever had, they are with women that guys would be working with every day, going to uni with and thinking that woman is just very innocent and sweet. And I've done the most kinkiest stuff has been with women like that that go under the radar. That's what monster hunting is. That's what's finding them. The ones that look all sweet and put on that show a lot of the times are anything but that. But it's just become a very common occurrence. You know, most self-respecting men are going to see that and not want to play part in it. You shouldn't care about what people think anyway. You sure as heck shouldn't get into a relationship because of some pressure because again, I see a lot of that shaming, too. Unfortunately, a lot of it coming from men of, "Oh, you haven't been with a girl in this kind of stuff." I even overheard a conversation between two friends of mine who were around the age of 30 talking about when the last time they got with a woman. Almost like using it as like a way to one up each other. I'm like, "You guys realize this is this is not high school anymore. We're not in high school anymore, guys. Like like grow up. Seriously, I see a lot of that. Just focus on your mission and purpose and grind. Don't be derailed by this kind of stuff. Again, people don't know what a normal, healthy friendship or relationship even looks like. They're doing things a lot of time out of insecurity. If they had self-respect, their their friend circle would be a lot smaller. If they had self-respect, they might be single in some cases. You have a lot of girls doing things openly disrespecting men, being caught on their phone, texting dudes. I've seen guys literally like they know the girls talking to other to other men and they just don't care. They sweep it under the rug. That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen. And you wonder why their relationships end ugly. The girl cheats on them or whatever. Just that loss of that that loss of of of selfrespect. That loss of self-respect. Like I even had a friend of mine who really just he he got his whole life destroyed. Destroyed because he lost focus. He overlooked red flags.
Absolutely. That's the end of the video today, guys. [snorts] I think there are a lot of guys out there that are struggling on many different fronts, whether it be women, whether it be friendship groups, and trying to find their place in life and in society. But I guess this video was about acknowledging that, discussing some of the themes out there that a lot of guys go through, whether it's with your friendship groups or I don't know whether it's in your careers or what, you know, challenges out there. But yeah, guys, you need to be careful. I think that last point that he made there was a really great one. There are so many men out there that have given up their potential um great opportunities um in their life for a woman that was only a temporary fixture in their life and never truly appreciated them. I ve I came very close to making similar mistakes when I was younger and I changed course corrected saw what I was doing and I'm glad I didn't do that because my life would have been completely different these day like today. And guess what? that woman's no longer in my life who I was going to compromise and make all these big heavy-hitting decisions for give away my happiness to keep a woman happy, stop her from crying and carrying on that I wasn't going to be around as much and all that sort of thing.
Guys, thanks for watching. Um, once again, check out the locals if you want to support the channel. It really does help me out. Um, and like, comment, and share, and subscribe. Hopefully, this channel is remonetized very shortly as well. The other channel is now back up and running. So, it's very good uh to see. Very promising for 2026. Thank you all. Thanks for watching. And if you made it to the end, just write to the end in the comments. Cheers.