Transcription
Welcome to another episode of Ask a Brother Podcast. I'm your host, Jeff Saint James, and we're going to have a whole host of different people from different [music] backgrounds coming in because it really is about building a community of like-minded people that's just open to listening and hearing from other perspectives. The revolution is going to be because [music] of us.
Um I'm going to play one or two clips, and I just want to see what you all um think about this uh in terms of the ongoing scrutiny of are we at a stage where we're so used to demonizing men that people can't really sympathize with that unless it's their own husband, son, or relative. It's almost like all men are bad, but not mine, not mine. And then two, are men going to have to start to really, really reevaluate having a lot of relationships with women if they're constantly being caught up in crazy situations where we have to take her word, which could cost us our freedom or or our life. So, I'm going to play those two clips, and then we'll see what you guys think.
comes to the whole like believe all women thing. Unless the guy comes out and confesses that he did whatever is alleged to have been done, I'm assuming most men are going to say, "I did not do that." So, if we say believe all women, that smuggles in disbelieve men. >> and it can it can mean that we have situations where people lie on it, and that's that's terrible, but it >> As a call taker, it happens a lot. Women blame men for things that men never did to them, but oh, he ghosted me. Oh, he dumped me. I've count encountered way more false accusations than I have. It's a real call. >> Really? >> Mhm. How long have you been doing I dispatched for about 15 years. And but so for that 15 years Mhm. that you were a 911 operator, you're saying that the majority of the calls you got where a woman was alleging that she had been essayed >> In calls in calls where women alleged they were assaulted, there were more of the false calls than the real calls, yes.
Call in your brothers and your cousins for every little argument. Oh, you can't sit back and say it's not your fault because they went too far. You shouldn't have called them. >> [music] >> What do y'all think about both of those type of scenarios? Let's start with Maggie and then Berlin and then Crimson.
It is a tragedy. Um So two points. One, I wanted to answer about, you know, what we can do to fix or try to fix the women that are trying to get a payout. But in in these examples, it's already started to happen where the men are saying, "You know what? Take my ball and go home." It's just not even worth engaging. I saw someone say that in the chat. Um I don't think we I've been saying it. It's going to get worse before it gets better. And I don't think women really realize, again, we're not getting away with this. We have that false sense of, "Ooh, nobody saw me. Ooh, I got away with it. Ooh, it didn't hurt that bad." It's going to hurt. The chances of women being able to have an opportunity with a man that is a stranger to you, he might just say, "You know what? Unless you come personally recommended or unless I know you from my hometown." Maybe it's going to swing back to the way that it used to be where families used to introduce people and you grew up with somebody. And this whole like hookup culture and meeting a stranger on the internet or dating somebody, you know, from a different coast. And you know, yes, exceptions happen, but it's such a huge risk for our men. And they're asking themselves, "Is it worth the risk?" And more often than not, the answer is no. So again, all of us now are going to have men who avoid eye contact, who have men who will see you with a flat tire and keep driving. Or you may have a serious need and they're just going to say, "You know what? I can't help you." because they can't trust that it's not going to fall back on them.
Wow. Wow. What about you, Carolyn? Miss Maggie, you must be in my house. I have sat many times with my husband and my my sons because my husband is the one who will jump out and go help a woman if she has a flat tire. It's no questions asked, okay? And so, I have had to have conversations. The times have changed and unfortunately, being a gentleman, it's not always a reward. Not the reward that you would think. And so, when when I'm hearing you say this, and of course, like I said, I'm I'm a boy mom, and I think about, "Oh my gosh, how are they How are they going to even find a wife?" You know, and I'm explaining the same thing. Keep your hands to yourself. Any and every precautionary method that you can use. And I've always said, "I'm for arranged marriages." And at this point, we might be there because who can you trust in in terms of, like you said, meeting people and everybody's will meet people online and all of that. I think that one thing, and I'm not trying to shift blame, but we have to stop this unscrupulous behavior. And with what we see, as we already know, and you stated men are not even wanting to give eye contact, Mhm. it is an alarm going out right now. Like a serious alarm that, like you said, maybe you should start meeting people through families because if not, it is way too easy to get set up. And I don't want to say this generation is lost, but sometimes I feel that way when I think about the women and I'm out and about and I'm looking, I'm like, "Wow. Do we have to take an L and start with those teenagers now, with the young ladies now, and the young men now? It's got to be some hope because really
to the choir, Berlin, because I think the ladies on the on the panel right now, they've been saying we got to go younger and younger. They've they've been saying it. And and Maggie, what Maggie alluded to and and Berlin, what you alluded to, I think men are going to start like we already see men are starting to adapt. Men are starting to adapt. And and I you know, if I had a son, I would be talking about NDAs when he's a teenager. As quiet as it kept, even just start practice with dating interactions with women. And explaining the role and purpose of an NDA and what it can protect you from and what it can't. And normalizing that NDAs are not just for rich people and celebrities. And that I think young boys need to get in the habit of you got to get comfortable with language about NDAs. And I think you got to get comfortable about prenuptial agreements, conversations about it. And conversations about um paternity tests. Because the women who are scared of those conversations are not the women that you even want to continue to engage in. If there is a reason for why she has an issue based on everything we're seeing out here, if she has an issue with even the conversation, if all of those are effectively off the table, what do you think her motives are for why it is that they're going to weaponize? I know how ladies work. It's cuz you don't trust me. It's because you don't I know I'll trust you more when you sign this stuff. And and I'm going to and I would condition my sons and and nephews and cousins, male cousins especially younger ones and say, "I want you to imagine women that want to come and say, 'Listen, I want you to truly be able to feel like you can trust me.'" And before we engage in anything on a serious level, this is my comfort level with this stuff. I think you can work with that. I think women I think that uh Media Man, he said something that he mentioned that I'm going to play it in a little bit. He said that he thinks that a lot of our women have lost equity in the believability factor in this community. And it's horrible to say that considering back in the day most women's words and young girls' words didn't mean anything. We had a short blip between 2012 to 2018 where it just seemed like all these accusations are flying and some guys are being held accountable. But then now where it's it seemed like a dog and pony show where it's almost like the new go-to thing when women are upset. When they're upset about how things have unfolded. Uh he he's not taking me as seriously as I thought. He's replacing me with someone else. He cheated. Uh you you he rejected me. Who knows? Like this this these court cases the Johnny Depp one was a great example for me. Homegirl was taking poops in the bed. I still ain't get over that. And Hollywood reacted as if she was the victim. And really really evaluating like what what does are we witnessing on film and on our phones the dehumanization of men when you are automatically the moment an accusation is put out there assumed guilty by default because of your sexuality. And we're so desensitized to it that I don't even think we realize like do you all realize that we we we see men in that way, human beings in that way, automatically guilty. Imagine if we said every black person you see they automatically guilty, racist. Every woman that says or does this she lying, sexist. But when you say it about men >> [music]