Transcription
June 5th, 1899. Vol. 2. Her miserable state. The health of the Confessor. My state of annihilation still continues. It was such that I did not dare to say a word to my beloved Jesus. But this morning, having compassion for my miserable state, Jesus himself wanted to cheer me. And here is how: As he made himself seen, and I felt all annihilated and ashamed before him, Jesus drew near me, but so close that it seemed that he was in me and I in him. And he told me, "My beloved daughter, what is it that makes you so afflicted? Tell me everything, for I will contend to you and will remedy everything." Since I continued to see myself the way I described the other day, and seeing myself so bad, I did not dare to tell him anything. But Jesus repeated, "Come, come, tell me what you want. Do not hesitate." Seeing myself almost forced, bursting into flooding tears, I said to him, "Holy Jesus, how do you want me not to be afflicted after so many graces? I shouldn't be so bad anymore. Sometimes also, and the good works I tried to do, I mix so many defects and imperfections that I myself feel horror. What must they be before you, who are so perfect and holy? And then, the suffering still very scarce compared to before. Your long delays and coming, everything tells me in clear notes that my sins, my awful ingratitude, are the cause of it. And that you, indignant with me, deny me even that daily bread which you usually concede to everyone, which is the cross. So you will end up abandoning me completely. Can there be a greater affliction than this?"
Jesus, all compassion for me, pressed me to his heart and told me, "Do not fear. This morning we will do things together. In this way, I will make up for your things." So, first it seemed that Jesus contained a font of water and another of blood within his breast. And in those two fountains he plunged my soul, first in the water and then in the blood. Who can say how purified and embellished my soul became? Then we began to pray together, reciting three Glory Be's. And he told me that he was doing this to make up for my prayers and adorations to the majesty of God. Oh, how beautiful and touching it was to pray together with Jesus! After this, Jesus told me, "Do not let yourself be afflicted by the lack of suffering. Do you want to anticipate the hour established by me? My operating is not hurried, but everything has its time. We will fulfill everything, but at the appropriate time."
Then afterwards, because of a fully providential circumstance, unexpectedly, since the viatical had come out of the church for other sick people, I received communion. Who can say, after all that had passed between Jesus and me, the kisses and the caresses that Jesus gave me? It is impossible to say everything. After communion, I seem to see the sacred host. And in the host, I could see now the mouth of Jesus, now his eyes, now one hand. And then he showed all of himself. He transported me outside of myself, and I found myself now in the vault of the heavens, now on earth in the midst of people, but always together with Jesus. Every once in a while, he would repeat, "How, how beautiful you are, my beloved! If you knew how much I loved you, and you, how much do you love me?" On hearing these words being spoken to me, I experienced such confusion that I felt I was dying. But in spite of this, I had the courage to say to him, "Jesus, my beautiful one, yes, I love you very much. And you, if you really love me, tell me also, do you forgive me for all the evil I have done? But concede also suffering to me." And Jesus, "Yes, I forgive you, and I want to content you by pouring in abundance my bitterness." Isn't it to you? And so Jesus poured his bitterness. It seemed to me that he had a font of bitterness, as in his heart, received through the offenses of men. The most of it he poured into me.
Then Jesus told me, "Tell me, what else do you want?" And I, "Holy Jesus, I commend to you my confessor. Make him a saint and grant him also health for his body. But then, is it completely your will for this father to come?" And Jesus, "Yes." And I, "If it were your will, you would let him be well and he be quiet. Do not want to investigate my judgments too much." At that very moment, he showed me the improvement in the health of the body and the sanctity of the soul of the Confessor. And he added, "You want to rush things, but I do everything at the right time." Then I commended to him the people that belonged to me, and I prayed for sinners, saying to Jesus, "Oh, how I wish that my body would split into tiny little pieces, provided that sinner would convert." So I kissed the forehead, the eyes, the face, the mouth of Jesus, doing various adorations and reparations for the offenses that sinners gave him. Oh, how content Jesus was, and I! And then, having Jesus promised to me that he would not leave me anymore, I returned to myself. And so it ended.
June 5th, 1905. Volume 6. Crosses our baptismal fonts. This morning, on coming, blessed Jesus told me, "My daughter, crosses, mortifications are as many baptismal fonts. And any kind of cross which is dipped in the thought of my passion loses half of its bitterness and its weight decreases by half." And he disappeared like a flash. I remained there, doing certain adorations and reparations in my interior, and he came back again, adding, "What is not my consolation and seeing redone in you what my humanity did many centuries ago. In fact, everything which I established for each soul to do was done in my humanity before. And if the stole corresponds to me, what I did for her, she does again within herself. But if she does not, it remains done only in me, and I feel an inexpressible bitterness."
June 5th, 1931. Volume 29. How it is necessary to make friends in the good times. Sorrow of Jesus because of the abandonment of the Apostles. The human will, prison of the creature. I am always in the sea of the supreme volition. Oh, how many beautiful things are found in it! There are all the acts of Jesus, as though in act. There are those of the Sovereign Lady. There are those of our Celestial Father that he has done and that he will do. It is a sea not divided, but one, interminable. It is everything. In this sea, there are no dangers nor fears of falling, because the happy creature that enters into it lays down her guises and takes on the divine guises. So while I was in the sea, my sweet Jesus made present to me when, in his passion, the Apostles dispersed themselves, they ran away from him, leaving him alone and abandoned in the midst of the enemies. And my highest good, Jesus, told me, "My daughter, the greatest sorrow that I had in my passion, the nail that most pierced my heart, was the abandonment and the dispersion of my Apostles. I had not a friendly eye in which I could reflect my gaze. The abandonment, the offenses, the indifference of friends surpass, oh how much, all the sorrows and even the death that enemies can give. I knew that the Apostles were to give me this nail and would cravenly run away from me, but I paid no attention to this, because, my daughter, one who wants to do a work must not pay attention to his own pains. On the contrary, he must make friends in the good times when everything smiles around and he sows triumphs and prodigies at each step. Not only this, but he communicates the miraculous power to those who become his friends and disciples. Then everyone boasts of being a friend of one who was surrounded with glory and honor. Everyone hopes, and as many friends and disciples as one once, so many one has, because the glory, the triumph, the good times are powerful magnets that draw the creature to follow the triumpher. Who wants to follow and be a friend or a disciple of a poor one who was slandered, humiliated, and despised? No one. On the contrary, they feel fear and horror to get close and reach the point of denying he whom they were friends with before, as Saint Peter did with me. Therefore, it is useless to hope for friends when the poor creature finds herself under the nightmare of humiliations, scorns, and calumnies. So one must make friends when heaven smiles at us and fortune would want to put us on a throne, if we want that the good, the works that are wanted may have life and continuation. And other creatures, by making friends when I was sowing miracles and triumphs such that they reached the point of believing that I was to be their King on earth, and therefore, having been my disciples, they were to occupy the first places before me, even though they abandoned me and my passion. When my resurrection sounded, my full triumph, the Apostles changed their mind. They were united among themselves and, as trumpeters, they followed my doctrine, my life, and formed the nation, the Church. Had I paid attention to the fact that they would run away from me, not making them my disciples in the time of my triumph, I would not have had anyone who would speak of me after my death, who would make me known. Therefore, the good times, the glory are necessary. And it is also necessary to receive piercing nails and to have patience and suffering them in order to have the materials and my greatest works, so that they may have life in the midst of creatures. Now, has this not been a wholeness, a resemblance of my life in your painful state of humiliation, of calumnies and scorns that you have gone through? I've felt in you the nail of the abandonment and dispersion of my Apostles being repeated to me, in seeing those who had been so keen to assist you dispersed themselves from you and with the will of abandoning you. And and seeing you abandoned, I saw you all alone in my arms with the nail of the abandonment of those who were to sustain you. And in my sorrow, I said, "Bad world, how well you know how to repeat the scenes of my passion!" And my children, I offered your bitterness for the triumph of my will and for the help of those who should make it known. Therefore, courage! And the painful circumstances of life, however, know that your Jesus will never abandon you. I do not know how to do these things. My love is not voluble by nature, but firm and constant. And what I say with my mouth comes out from the life of my heart. Creatures, instead, they say one thing and feel another in their hearts. They mix many human ends also in making friends, and this is why they change according to the circumstances. So the dispersion of those who seem to want to lay down their lives in the good times and who cravenly run away in the time of humiliations and scorns, they are all effects of the human will. The well is the true prison of the creature, and his clever in the art of being able to form many little rooms, but all without windows, because it is not skilled at forming openings in order to receive the good of light. And therefore, passions, weaknesses, fear, excessive worries, inconstancy are as many dark rooms of its prison, and she remains now hampered in one, now in another. And fear makes her fear and move away from the one who is laying down his life for love of her. On the other hand, one in whom my will reigns lives in my royal palace, in which there is so much light that the pains, the humiliations, the colonies are nothing other than stares of triumph and of glory and completion of great and divine works. So instead of running away from the poor martyr who has been cast into dust by the human perversity, she draws closer to him, waiting with patience for the hour of the new triumph. Oh, if my will had reigned fully in the Apostles, with certainty they would not have run away in an hour in which I felt the need of their presence, have their faithfulness in my so many pains, in the midst of enemies who wanted to devour me. I wanted my faithful ones close to me, because there is no greater comfort than having a friend close in time of bitterness. As I would have seen in my dear Apostles close to me the fruits of my pains, and oh, how many sweet memories would have arisen in my heart that would have been born for me in my intense bitterness! Is my Divine Will with its light would have prevented their step from running away, and therefore they would have drawn closer around me. But since they lived in the dark prison of the human will, their mind was obscured, the heart became cold, fear invaded them. In one moment they forgot about all the good they had received from me, and not only did they run away from me, but they dispersed themselves from one another. Tall effects of the human will that does not know how to maintain union and knows only how to disperse in one day the good that one has done in many years with many sacrifices. Therefore, may your only fear be that of not doing my will."
June 5th, 1938. Vol. 36. The sign of whether the creature lives in the Divine Will is in feeling its life within herself, its operating act, which is the greatest gift ever given to the creature. Centralization of God in the creature and of the creature in God. I continued my flight in the Divine Will, and I feel its desire to breathe, palpitate, move, and think of me. It seems to be putting aside its immensity, its height, depth, and power to become smaller in me, to do what I do. It seems to delight in lowering itself to my level, breathing as I do, palpitating and moving in my motion, but still keeping its immensity and power that invests and surrounds everything outside of me. Therefore, while my mind wanted to enjoy the Divine Will inside of me, it also wanted to go outside to travel all over its immensity, power, height, and depth. I could find no frontiers, nothing other than abyss of light with no bottom and no height, completely boundless. While my mind was getting lost, my sweet Jesus, visiting my little soul, how goodness told me, "My little daughter, my my will invests and involves everything and everyone. It possesses all in its womb of light. Nothing can escape it. All live in it, although they do not recognize it as source of life, motion, step, warmth, and even breath. We can say that every creature lives in our will as though in our house. We give her what she needs. We feed her with our paternal tenderness, but she doesn't recognize us. Many times she attributes to herself what we are actually doing. She even reaches the point of offending the one who's giving her life and preserving her. We can say that we keep many enemies in our house who live at our expense, stealing our goods. Hard love is such that it forces us to give them life, to feed them as if they were our friends. How painful it is that our will serves as residents for those who do not recognize us and who offend us! They stay in it by right of creation, because of our immensity. If they did not want to be in our will, there would still be no other place for them, since our will is everywhere, in heaven and on earth. Now, in order for the creature to claim that she lives in our will, she must want it and recognize it, because by wanting it, she feels that everything is will of God for her. And by recognizing it, she feels our operating act over her. This is living in my will, feeling our operating power inside and outside of herself and operating together with it. If she feels we love, she loves together with us. If we want to make ourselves more known, she is all attentive to listen and receive. Would love the new life of our knowledge? In some, she feels our operating life and she wants to do and does whatever we do, following us and everything. This is living in our will, feeling our life that gives life to her, feeling our operating act moving, breathing, working in her being. These are our celestial inhabitants, the glory in our house. We live as children and father. All that is ours, as theirs. But they do indeed recognize it. They are not blind thieves who have no eyes to look at our light or ears to listen to our paternal attentions and who do not feel our operating act over them. On the contrary, those who live in our wealth feels through our operating act. This is the greatest gift that we can give to the creature. And therefore, be attentive, recognize that your life comes from us, that we give you all breathing in motion to live together with you."
After this, I kept thinking of the great wonders of the Divine Will. How many surprises! How many unheard-of prodigies that only the Divine Fiat could do. Then my always adorable Jesus, coming back, added, "My blessed daughter, I did the creation and all the creatures to form my delight, than them to express from our Supreme Being the excesses of our love and the marvelous power of our works. If we delighted so much in creating so many different things in the order of creation, having to serve man, we delighted even more in doing unheard-of prodigies, works never before considered, enrapturing beauties for the one who had to serve us. Man, the prime act of creation, we were to be always so delighted in him as to keep us always busy doing as many things as we could for him. He, on the other side, was supposed to remain always with us to love us and let himself be loved, receiving the great wonders of our works. It was his escape from our will that stopped our delights in the course of the works that with so much love we wanted to do for man. But what we established has to be accomplished. This is why we come back fighting, calling the creatures to live in our will, to let all that has been decreed and established be punctually accomplished. Now you must know that as the soul does her acts in our will, our love is such that we centralize our Supreme Being in her together with all our works. Know what delights and joys we feel in seeing our dominating majesty in her, surrounded by all our works. The angels and saints pour into her to honor their Creator, because everybody runs where God is and wants their place of honor around us. But while everything is centralized in her, and even greater wonder occurs, the creature is centralized in everybody. She reaches the center of each created thing. Our will loves her so much that it multiplies her and gives her a place wherever it is, keeping her close in all its works. We just cannot stay without this creature who lives in our will. We would have to split our will and - but our will cannot be divided. It is always one, than one single act. Furthermore, if we put aside one who lives in our will, our own love would wage a war against us. Rather, the reason for which we want her to live in our will is that we want her with us, to show her our works, to make her feel the heartbeats and the notes of our love. From afar, our works cannot be known and our love cannot be felt. So we need to be with her to love each other, to know each other, and to work. Otherwise, the creature goes on her way and we on ours, remaining deprived of our delights and of the freedom to do what we want in absolute pain. Therefore, be attentive, live always in our will if you want us to live in you and you within us."
End of June 5th. Fiat.