I don't remember exactly how I replied, word for word. But I made it clear that you have your own woman, like, well, like, you shouldn't write like that, I won't allow it at all. And then he wrote to me that they had already divorced a long time ago, it's just not in the media and all that. He invited me, that is, he was like: "I saw some clip on TikTok where you say you play chess. >> And I really love chess." Uh, and he was like, a woman, that is, this phrase "woman" always started, that is, for him, that a woman can drive well, that a woman, I don't know, some such things, that a woman can work well, wants to be a careerist and so on. This is not his story, this is purely such a misogynistic story from his perspective. That is, he was generally like that, at least for a while he definitely was. And he invites me to Israel to play chess on the seashore. Isn't that tempting? Very. >> I agreed, like, well, really. And he quickly made me documents, sorted everything out in a couple of days, bought tickets, and I flew. Uh, I arrive. Uh, no, honestly, this time was the best with him. The beginning, when he hadn't gone crazy yet, hadn't offended me yet. And I arrive, he meets me with an assistant. He still had that palm tree with dreadlocks then. He was all in thorns, in glasses like these. He also, I remember, really loved buying women's glasses. Well, they suited him, actually. Uh, and yes, and we hugged, went to pack the car, and drove to the apartment. In the apartment, a bouquet, wine, and weed and other drugs were waiting for me too. Yes, his maximum was weed. >> What >> What? Well, at least cocaine. I know ketamine was also there. Well, not that day, but generally, like, in those periods. And it was then that I learned that it's a tranquilizer for horses. Did you know? >> Well, that with feelings, yes. >> Well, that's [ __ ] Like, how can you even take that, I don't understand. Well, and he just rolls a joint. We don't have a dialogue yet. Okay, well, we don't know each other at all. We don't even have, well, any basic correspondence between each other. I just took off and flew to a random guy. Uh, and he rolls a joint with weed and says: "Want some?" And sprinkles cocaine on top. I didn't even know that was possible. >> I don't know either. >> That's how they do it, apparently. We spent about 3 days together. No, I didn't smoke, just so you know. I said, I asked for a separate normal one, like, I smoked a little with him. And then >> that it's directly in the joint. Yes, yes, yes. Well, I saw how he did it. Yes. Maybe somehow differently, and someone else. Uh, and then, uh, yes, the dialogue started, we began to communicate, get to know each other, and it was all so cool, and it was all so tender. And it was such a [ __ ] you know, like they really show in movies. Your breath catches. We sat, looked at each other for 8 hours in silence. That silence was so beautiful. I felt that silence could be comfortable for the first time then. Uh, in short, everything was too cinematic. Like a movie. And imagine, I'm telling you, my brain is trying to push it all out right now, it's pushing it out like pizza. I'm telling you, and then bam, a gap. I'll try now. Uh, and we spent a cool, amazing 3 days there, we rode, walked, ate delicious food, smoked weed too, uh, had fun. And I went to him, um, unshaven, unwashed, like in my last dirty pants, to show him that I'm coming to him not because he's Morgenstern, but because it's a cool idea, why I'm here. Like, you wrote to me to play chess on the seashore in Israel. Wow, like, cool. Uh, that's why I was going like that, to make him understand that I'm not here for sex. I'm here to find out who you are, and to do the thing for which I flew here. Uh. But it turned out that I fell in love very strongly right away. Well, as I understand it today. And after working with a psychiatrist, I understand that this was, well, a sick obsession. Uh, and that's it. And we broke up, in the sense, after this trip. I went to Prague because I was living there then. Um, and he went to Dubai. And after 2 days, I flew to him in Dubai as a surprise because I couldn't stop thinking about him. I fell in love so much. And I couldn't eat or sleep. I was just nauseous. I lost almost 10 kg because I couldn't eat. I felt sick all the time. I said it was butterflies, but in reality, it was some kind of schizophrenia starting. Uh, and in Dubai, he, well, in short, for the first six months, I swear, everything was so cool, I don't even know how to tell you how wonderful the relationship was. I was such a princess, and everything was so good. And then July, the month, something goes wrong, and his personality changes upside down. He becomes very aggressive, apathetic, very angry, starts to distance himself minimally, offend me. This happens literally like a snap of the fingers. Every day you wake up with a person who has a new personality, like Billy Milligan, I swear to you. And he thinks like a new person, and acts like a new person, and looks like a new person. And so every day, and it can change within the day, even every minute. Uh, and at some point, well, it's clear that all this time I was trying to, uh, how to say it, you know, when I was in the status of a good girl who really wanted to be convenient, liked, and he loved me, loved me. He really loved me and always loved me like that, so that I would be all for him, his little good girl. And I didn't need anything except his love and his care. That's it, I swear, well, I didn't need anything at all except that. And at some point, uh, Pasha Durov also comes to us. Pasha Durov. Pasha Durov comes to the house to give. Well, in general, he came for a barbecue, but essentially it turned out that he sat in the middle and gave a lecture about business. Everyone surrounded him, like, those, like, Palagin, Limba, who was there, and so on. I don't remember that moment very well. After a while, I was supposed to fly to Florence for filming. Oh, not for filming, but for directing courses. I bought courses at NYU New York Film Academy with my savings. And I was very proud and had wanted to go there for a long time. Uh, it's just, well, the prices there are biting, especially in Florence, everything is expensive, accommodation and so on. And he started to get very aggressive with me because of this. Uh, that I'm not staying with him, that I'm not supporting him and won't star in his clip, which he somehow came up with to shoot, which I myself produced from the treatment, because he allowed me to do it. And he started to go crazy, but only minimally for now, compared to what I'll tell you later. And I left, and he dumped me one day. He just took mushrooms, came to my office where I was sitting. I had already started studying directing a little, so that when I arrived, I would understand at least a little bit of what was going on there, because it would be in English, I want to know at least something already. Uh, and he came and said, like: "I don't love you. And in general, this is an addition, and in general, like, I don't need you to work, I only need a beautiful child from you and a lot, a lot of such offensive things he said in just a second, he just blurted it all out, and nothing foreshadowed trouble. That is, it was just at a random moment, absolutely random. >> Ah, well, it's clear, I already knew then that if he wants to go take mushrooms alone and talk to himself, he talked to himself in the mirror for a long time. Very often, like, at the beginning, like with diabetes, there were many signs when I should have thought: "What is this?" But due to stupidity, infatuation, f***ing, and all that, I was just there and helped as much as I could. We were walking with him in a mall in Mlebay. He had smoked not long before that moment. And we're walking, and at some point he just stops, looks straight ahead and says: "I can't look at people. They all have faces in the wrong place." I thought he was high on weed, but a healthy person, relatively speaking, yes, healthy. No one in the world is healthy. But like, like, like, for example, if I get very high, I don't even know how, but I wouldn't start seeing such strong hallucinations. Like, it's mostly something closer to mushrooms or LSD. That's the story, but definitely not from weed that strongly. Then he looks at me, says that my face is also distorted in different places, eyes, like, and all that. That's probably when I should have started thinking, like, what was that. Then I left for Florence. I think, then, I think, I started to develop a little diabetes, because I felt it. In fact, I lost my home, I lost, well, like a new environment again, to which I was getting used to, because I had lived there for half a year. He took me away, promised to love me. Uh, said that, ah, I don't need to work. And careerists don't turn him on. Like, like Ivleeva, he gave me an example that he would give me everything, I would have my own money, his is mine and all that. But every time for something, I practically never asked for anything, except once for LEGO at the airport and courses for master craftsmanship. Otherwise, I was afraid to even ask, because he always went crazy afterwards. He bought me a camera himself, and then he also blamed me for him buying me a camera himself. Like, there were many such moments. So I made the decision that it's better not to. He constantly whined in bed that everyone was using him, how unhappy he was, a poor boy. But I always wanted to, well, to prove to him that I'm with you not for money, I don't need it. That's why I never asked. I was always just there. >> He talked about this in an interview on Pys. Maybe, maybe, I don't remember anymore. And then, in Florence, the constant drama begins, that he calls, then he dumps me again, then he takes me back again, dumps me again, blah-blah-blah-blah. It's not particularly interesting here, he just went crazy again. But in the end, we can understand now that, uh, and he started taking me back again closer to January, when we met. And now I want the viewer and you, uh, to understand that for him, if we imagine the year like this, we have to divide it in half. And from January to July, everything goes up for him, and from July to December, everything goes down for him. And this happens with a snap of the fingers. Further, as the circumstances of the story unfold, you will learn that he has schizotypal disorder, like schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder, because we went to a psychiatrist together. Well, and it's clear, honestly, what I'm going to tell you now. I just want you to understand now that these are not just ordinary ups and downs that an average couple goes through in a relationship. No, this is mind-blowing. This is just, well, f***, this is such a disaster. I'm sure that to this day he doesn't even understand how much he has destroyed my life, how much he has destroyed me in all senses. And, well, I'm a fool myself, I kept coming back. I had three opportunities to tell him: "Go to hell and don't come back," because he always dumped me himself. No, I went where I shouldn't have. And in January, he returned again. It seemed to me that he was more aware. It seemed to me that he was more worked through. No, but he started to go crazy even more. And probably, I want to start right away with [ __ ] This is April 2024, when my friend Igorek and I were in Barcelona, we just went to hang out, shoot TikToks. And Alisher's song was coming out then, uh, "Last Love". We, by the way, started dating again for the second time then. He wrote this song. Well, [ __ ] it's clear who it's about. Like, yes, it could be a collective image, but from what experience did you collect it? There's me, Dilara, and you, you, and it turns out that we're driving in Cyprus in a car, and he shows me it. And imagine, this is the situation when he just reappeared in your life, like, tells you about love again, but drives and shows this song. What is it about? Like, like, I don't give a f*** about your mom, and f*** it, like, I broke your heart, you'll cry, I don't give a f***. Uh, well, I made it clear by my look that I'm very uncomfortable listening to it now, although, well, it's still talented. Like, to this day, if I deviate a little, objectively, I probably won't be able to praise him for anything. I have my own grievances, my own anger, and my own vision of what kind of person he was, especially in my life, in my experience. But I can definitely call him talented and definitely call him charismatic and intelligent, which is basically what I fell for at first. And here's April, yes, Igorek and I are in Spain, in Barcelona. He writes to me that he has some kind of news that cannot be told over the phone. Not on Telegram, not on anything. I need to fly to him in Israel. He calls me a jet. And I fly to him, but for the first time too. I got on the plane, and in the end I just ate on the jet because something was wrong. Some breakdown, I think. It was also a sign. >> This is the first time I'm like this with you, right? >> Uh-huh. Generally, it often seems to me that the matrix is somehow breaking. Well, I'm not going crazy in this sense. Uh, I just find it cool to experience moments when the TV talks to you. You know, I don't know if you've had this in your life, but yes, not deviating from the topic. The second day, he called a jet again, and I flew. I arrive. It turns out that we go to the hotel, he takes all my devices, hides them, turns off airplane modes, pulls out all the stationary phones from the sockets, locks everything up, all this. And locks us on the balcony with a key like this and tells. >> Friends, I remind you that your support is very important to us. You see how much we invest in this content, we shoot, we use many cameras. There is a whole team behind me. We do all this for you. All you have to do is watch and enjoy. And one more request, please subscribe to this YouTube channel right now. If you are not yet subscribed, give this video a like and write a comment of at least seven words. After each episode, we give away money, because your time is money. Who won in the previous episodes, by the way, go check, maybe it's you. I post them in the "Posts" section on the YouTube channel. You can rewatch the entire history. We've been doing this for over a year so that all reports are available. So, once again, subscribe, like, comment under this video, and maybe you will become the next winner. Thank you in advance for this, and let's go on. Once upon a time, for this information, he said he would smear me against the wall and make my life the most unbearable in the world, threatened me and kicked me out of the house more than once. And now I'm not afraid of him. I think he himself, hopefully, won't go crazy like that anymore. Although, to be honest, I don't give a f***. We are on the balcony. He says, in short, I won't pour a lot of water here, and he will go to war with Putin. >> Uh-huh. Fate even started because he is God, that he is the Messiah. And it might sound funny, but in the moment you see these crazy eyes that consume so much drugs in a second, so much alcohol in a second. Uh, [ __ ] it's very scary, and you don't understand in the moment, are you scared for him or for yourself to be near or to isolate yourself. I love him, but I didn't have questions like this about love, by the way. They came later, on the contrary, like, I won't leave you like this, but what should I do? Like, how do I, what should I do? What is this at all? And yes, he will go to war with Putin. He will be the new president, if anything, of Ukraine. >> Morgenstern. >> Well, of Ukraine and Russia. And in general, he will be the first person to reconcile these two countries. He prepared speeches, planned a meeting with the Israeli president, if I remember correctly. Maybe some other position. >> Prime Minister, >> yes. Right. And they really wrote to him, they really wrote to him and invited him to the office. And this further fueled his madness. Uh, I swear, I don't remember the exact answer why they invited him, but, as far as I remember, they invited him then to support the info war, uh, since he is also an Israeli citizen. Uh, but he only found out about this later. In the moment, he started thinking that everyone was watching him. And they are eavesdropping on us now, actually, and the phones are not turned off, and what he was saying now about the presidency and so on, and then they told him: "You need to come to the president." Imagine how it all worked out in his favor. F***. And whatever he did, whatever he came up with, he was so carried away, and everything worked out for him. >> Uh-huh. >> That's like a phenomenon, like, I don't know how it happened. He was obsessed with numbers. He saw the same numbers everywhere. He added them up. There's a movie with Jim Carrey called "23". Like that. And only probably worse, because he also suffered from himself, and I was nearby. Then on the second day, I went for a manicure, and he asked me to buy him hair gel. He was doing, slicked-back hairstyles then, a comb. He will prepare the exact speech, and I will go and come back. And he will be preparing. I came, brought him all this. He had already prepared the speech, locked us on the balcony again, sat me on the table and started telling me all this. And I allowed myself to smirk. Well, at some point, it became a little, well, like, funny, or something, that this was happening, because he was inspired. He wasn't scary at that moment, like yesterday from that moment. I allowed myself to smirk, for which I got it. He kicked me out of the house in a foreign country, like, well, that's [ __ ] He yelled at me, said that if I started telling anyone this information, and if anyone found out about what was happening now, he would ruin my life so badly that I wouldn't know what hit me, and everyone would suffer from it. And he thought I was a secret agent who had been collecting all this information about him all this time, and he poured it all out to me in one second. I just, I understand that I need to support this madness now to survive at least in this moment, just to survive mentally. Uh, but I didn't understand what I was doing, what I was saying. For the most part, I just kept silent, cried a lot, and was there and agreed to everything simply because I was already afraid of him too. >> And what was that speech about? What did he say in it? >> I don't remember. I don't remember, honestly, I don't remember. Probably, what made me laugh more was not what he was telling me, but that he, well, I of course found it absurd that he would be president. Well, of course. But due to my great love for him, I also believed in him. I am still a person who thinks that nothing is impossible in life. And I would be lying if I said that I didn't think that there was a chance that something like this was possible. I don't know. How did you see the path to this? Uh, well, he warned me that I needed to be prepared for the fact that I would be the new wife of, like, Navalny, that my life would be like this now, that only with bodyguards, no social media, like, if I go with him, we're on the same page. We got matching tattoos on the first 3 days. Like, because of chess, like, I have a queen and he has a king. And he always said: "Yes, like, we are building a kingdom, you are my queen, I am your king. Uh, and if you are ready, then, like, your life will be like this." Oh, I think what also stopped me was the fact that I no longer had myself. I had him and us, but I didn't have myself, I didn't have anything of mine. Neither work, nor anything. Well, he didn't allow it. He also, like, told me to f*** off, figuratively. He directly told me: "I need you to close OnlyFans." He made it clear in every way that he didn't want it in my life in a relationship with him, which I think is right, because if I was in a relationship, well, at that time I wouldn't want to have OnlyFans when I have a boyfriend. Like, why? Especially if he tells me that he will cover all, well, my expenses, his money is my money, and all that. That is, I didn't force it, he said it himself. But that wasn't the case. He only covered household expenses. That is, I didn't have my own personal money. And then, from the moment he started going crazy, kicked me out of the house, the track and clip for "Last Love" came out, he went even crazier, because after a long, after a long slump, it was a very big break in the industry again. Then the stream with Molstroy, where he also slandered me, that's [ __ ] Well, in terms of rape, a very bad moment happened. Alisher tried to apologize for it, but honestly, I could never forgive him for that moment. Essentially, he sold my honor for a million dollars. He just didn't protect me at all. Can I ask about the presidency? Did he somehow explain this algorithm, that you say you believed, partially supported. Did he say, first I do this, then second, third, fourth. Or were these just like dreams? >> Well, it's just random. You just wake up every day and, f***, hope at least that today, well, it will be at least okay, at least it will be normal. No, it's like a lottery every day. And over time, just the second time we got back together, every day only got worse, worse and worse. Uh, but there were definitely cool moments, especially during the period when he was on the rise. That is, he was on the rise at first, and we even planned a clothing brand together. Uh, he helped. That is, I was, figuratively speaking, on the creative side, and he was on the financial side. We went to Paris, bought the first, like, samples, how it would all be, what we were relying on, this and that. I wasn't constantly with a tyrant. He is a tyrant, he is a terrible person for me, just disgusting. Uh, but we had wonderful moments. They just don't outweigh the bad in any way. They never will. After, uh, Israel, after all this story, uh, he started going crazy more. I remember, by the way, we were in a cafe and some woman, a fan of Alisher, came up to take a picture of us. Well, she just had a camera. He thought it was some kind of secret service. Now they are collecting compromising material on us, they are sneaking up, like, that they are like, fans, admirers. They were following her, following the cars that were changing in the hotel parking lot constantly. He noticed one of them, which was of a certain character.

It was, and we always watched right after her, walked, searched for specific numbers. In short, this [ __ ] Uh, and if, well, it would be fine if he was at least nice at that time, but he, besides chasing me, offending me, yelling at me, and mocking me, he just, well, he wasn't there. That is, I don't know how to explain it to you. He, fuck, he acted so, [ __ ] terribly towards me. I simply cannot convey it to you. My brain is just in shock right now. If I have to, I have to remember this now, and I, [ __ ] want to scream so much. I, [ __ ] want to cry so much, because, [ __ ] I hate. I, [ __ ] hate. I'll kill you all for this. I didn't plan to cry, and I really don't want to do it. I don't want to turn this bullshit that I'm telling now into a soap opera. No, I want to. He recently called me, wrote to me a month ago about me going to film in his documentary. And he wrote in a friendly way: "I want you to tell. You have the whole truth, like, I want you to come and say how a little star, uh, quickly rose and how quickly it faded." I think, what kind of [ __ ] asshole are you, calling yourself a star. And you, you have the whole truth. I want you to stop Oh, I want people to stop romanticizing my image and learn who I really am. And I understand that, yes, how did you even have the courage to write this to me? We never discussed it. It's just that we hadn't even gotten to diabetes yet when I found out about it. And I think that during the period when this episode with that first mania in Israel happened, I got diabetes because then I was drying out, I don't remember how it was, but we were already planning a child. I wanted children from him, I remember, because I loved him very much. And it was the first time in my life such a desire to continue love, so to speak, in such a philosophical format, like for me, children are a continuation of the love of two people who create a relationship between themselves. And we went to Turkey, because I gave him an ultimatum that, well, as it is, you won't finish inside me until we check, because anything could go in and out of you. And I'll get checked too, to be fair. And at that moment, imagine, they just tell him: "You're fine, but you have diabetes?" And I, and I probably didn't even understand at first how serious this statement was in my life, that I have diabetes, because in the hospital they presented it as nothing serious, they just gave me insulin, this injector, uh, for fingers, and said: "That's it, I don't even have a diagnosis of being a diabetic today, because everything is through private clinics, through friends, everything, all of this." Mm. And at first everything was fine. I can't say that Alisher supported me. He, he joked, maybe for him it was support. Now I joke about myself like that too. He always told me that I was half robot, half android. And it's generally fun. Now you can watch how my mood is going. Who knows, maybe it was his form of support, but it was not what I needed at that moment, and what I needed, he wasn't there, because he was going crazy further. And at such a moment, when this happened, I couldn't imagine that I could be without him in my life. I had never felt complete without a partner in life before. I never thought that I could be alone and be cool, be, you know, whole. Uh, no, I always thought that I needed someone to, like, live this life. and be happy. And in this is my happiness. Today I don't think so. And after diabetes, I understand that that's it, I definitely can't be alone and I'm scared. I haven't had my own money for a long time. I'm given some pocket money. Uh, that is, we live as he wants, and I just exist as a complement next to him. Just exist. And then we went with him to look at houses on the French Riviera, because he wanted to buy a house. And we went by car. And we drive from one to another. He's already starting again. He's already getting into that slump again. It's already closer to July. No matter what city we go to, everything is wrong. No matter what house we live in, what food we eat, no matter what I look like, with makeup, without makeup, dressed, undressed, it's all wrong. Well, everything is wrong. And it's always so terrible. And I remember that I drove myself to very low blood sugar. Uh, just for those who don't know about diabetes, because I didn't know. In short, it's very high, it's dangerous in life in general, because blood becomes poison, it becomes completely sugar and affects your life in the future. But in the moment, low sugar is dangerous. The norm for a normal person, like you, is 4 to 6. Therefore, when the sugar is, say, below 3.5, it's already called hypoglycemia. Hands are shaking, it's very cold. Uh, and I drove myself to such states that it was even lower. If only he would pay attention to me, if only he would just be with me, love me [ __ ] And then, and then he kicked me out of Nice again. Something was wrong with him. He didn't buy me a ticket or anything for the plane again. I did it all myself, flew to London, because from the moment we got back together the second time, I had already moved to London. By the way, that was the reason why he moved. Because when he said we were breaking up, Pasha Dur, [ __ ] he called him, said or said simply in person: "A woman spoils a man's empire, like she can't be a woman." >> How to develop your personal brand, how to pump up Instagram, how to get a lot of views on Reels, how to create your YouTube channel, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on. Friends, I receive hundreds of questions every week. To get answers to these questions, everything is very simple. Just subscribe to my Telegram channel, to my named Telegram channel, where I tell all this, friends, and there I share my expertise every day, give some advice, answer questions. I am sure that you have not received such an amount of value, especially for free, anywhere else. So scan the QR code, subscribe and follow my Telegram channel. I'm waiting for you there. That is, Pasha Dur definitely influenced his decision to break up with me during that period before Florence. But that's pizza. And I was taking directing courses, and we also had a group of actors there, and there was a girl there whom we knew indirectly. It all happened by chance. And she also wasn't planning to return to Ukraine. She also wanted something more and was considering options in America and London. And she just suggested, she said: "Let's go somewhere together." And I said: "Choose wherever you want, find sponsors, I'll go with you anywhere, I don't have a home anymore." And she chose London. We figured it out, we got visas in 2 days. And that's how we ended up in London. At first we lived together, then I moved to live with Alisher, because he also had a visa by then, he also got one. But he never lived in London, he didn't particularly like it. Yes, he wouldn't like it anywhere. And then, when he kicked me out of Nice again, I came home, and I broke out in a rash. It was like, you know, a very, very neglected type of chickenpox. I was covered in small red spots, in my mouth, in my throat, honestly, even on my heels, everywhere. And I don't understand what's happening to me. And it started after that moment. That is, a month before, diabetes happened, then this situation happened, he kicked me out again, left me alone. My friend Igor had already flown to London to take care of me, to be, essentially, to be a nanny, to be honest. Because if it weren't for Igor, I don't know where I would be. >> And all this because of nerves, >> yes. And diabetes because of nerves too. The pancreas completely failed. Type 1 diabetes resulted in me injecting myself with insulin with these little hands. Just if I want to show, because once I got a message from direct when I had diabetes. How are you not ashamed to wear these sensors? I didn't even think then that it could be something to be ashamed of. And especially in our reality, people wear these bracelets, or rings, or even these, especially pregnant women. Diabetes happens very often in pregnant women. We are all sitting, trying to be healthier, the new generation. And I just, yes, wanted to show how it looks. This is how it looks. And you can notice, by the way, on my arm, if you see, it's like a little bump. That is, when you inject insulin, you can inject it into different parts, into muscles. The most common are arms, abdomen. But since I have sensitive skin and so on, it immediately builds up, that is, it's a thickening of the tissue that starts when you constantly inject there, it starts to become rougher and you get bumps. But they go away over years, like half a year, a year. I think it depends on the skin too. Well, and so on. Why? I want to say that there is nothing wrong with that. I wanted to support other diabetics, especially girls, because how else can a girl face such a situation, like hormones with diabetes, it's just [ __ ] And especially menstruation, it's completely different doses, it's completely different sugars. You're already learning to live anew, because at any moment you can die, and here are hormones, and in general everything affects it. It's, I swear, a whole science. I can still say that I know nothing about it. I always have an apple in my purse, a banana, cola just in case. And if I feel bad, if I don't overdose somehow, because there was a situation too, I'm jumping around a bit, but my memory, honestly, works like this now. Related to Alisher. It's all in the same topic. Topic in the sense of theme. And and this, it turns out, is when he stopped using drugs. We had already broken up then, but we were in touch. And I had a very serious moment with diabetes when I almost died. I was completely alone at home. But before that, Igor was always watching over me. We were always together. My sensor broke, and it wasn't showing any data. Uh, and I, uh, I was sitting, I also smoked a little weed. I was smoking a lot then after the breakup and during the last events, I couldn't cope, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't cope with him and especially with my new life. So, as I understand it today, weed affects, it affects sugar very strongly, especially makes it drop, it behaves strangely. And then it hit me. It turns out, this [ __ ] broke, the sugar went down, and I didn't notice it. And I thought for a long time, and I realized that I needed to change this thing. I went to change it and fell, fell. It got completely dark immediately. Everything started to echo. I couldn't get up. My hands were just shaking like this. Just like this. I barely crawled. I don't know how it happened, but apparently I still have to live and do something good in this life. Uh, I found sugar, poured it in, felt sorry for myself, poured it in, and barely saved myself. It turns out, of course, he flew to Kukuya later, but I immediately called Igor, and I was, thank you. I was so pale, if you look at the screen, I was the color of my t-shirt. I didn't know you could be like that. And when I measured my sugar half an hour later, yes, it was already flying up, but I, considering that it's sugar, and glucose enters the blood quickly, I didn't recover that quickly. What happens to the brain at this moment? The brain prepares for death. And when you resuscitate it so quickly, it's like: "Okay, we were just dying, and now we're living?" And because of this, for diabetics, the first few diseases that they get as a collection after this, well, like, well, a disease, it includes stroke, heart attack, schizophrenia, the same, suicide, well, all these things, because with the brain, due to these constant crazy fluctuations, the brain goes crazy and you go crazy with it. Then Alisher found out about this situation, when we were still in touch, but not meeting. But we were still in a rather romantic key, you know, but we just weren't meeting because he was in rehab. He calls me to find out how I'm feeling, to cut all this bullshit short. Essentially, when I asked him, how would you feel if I died, I lacked that for years of relationship, you know, that I'm here, I love you and you need me. The most banal things. And he just says that if I died, he would be glad, because I would be closer to God. And that was the last thing. That's what turned me off, when you asked that phrase, because I thought how could you find so much, well, such words to say to me. And then he's like: "And you, would you want me to cry, miss you? Are you so selfish that you want your loved ones to suffer when you die? Sorry, but yes, I would want them to, yes, be sad and remember me later, later they would smile and be happy, yes, like, God forbid, that I would be in heaven or something. But yes, well, I don't know. For me, it's a normal reaction that loved ones will be sad when a person they love leaves their life. And I wanted to hear that, but I didn't hear it. I heard this. And then he just wrote me a long message at some point. I started to show my true self after this situation. That means telling him that he's a fucker. That means telling him that he's so. In short, I started telling him everything that we are discussing today, so that if we are in touch, we can discuss it and live this life together somehow, if it will be together. And it turned out that at some point he disappeared for a week, and then returned with a long message saying that, to sum it up, he has suffered enough, honestly, from all this. He has already borne the burden for what he is, he will not be finding this out now. Well, that's it. Well, we've jumped to the end, when I lost any contact with him. We missed the moment with Alisher, when we broke up, this one, when I broke out in this rash, the last time I returned to London. I started to dig. Wait, wait. And what about the fact that I was his fiancée? He proposed to me. It's just so insignificant a part of my life, considering it's a significant event. But how was it done? How was it treated? Like, in short, he gave me a ring, in Monaco in a hotel on the bed. He just woke up, he snored all night, [ __ ] I didn't sleep at all. He looked at me, asked: "How am I?" I said: "I didn't sleep at all. You snored all night." He was like, went around the bed, took the ring out of his bag and gave it to me. Just like that. You know what I can say today? Because I, uh, I no longer feel any empathy. I can say that Adilara is a good girl, she stayed with the salon, she stayed with the cars, apartments, like, well, good girl, I don't know what they really had, but even if there was love, I can say that as a woman, like, when you stay, when you, you know, give everything, you bet everything on love and all these things that you can't buy with money, you end up with nothing and you have to deal with everything you acquire in these relationships yourself. And when it comes to health and life, it's a complete [ __ ] He didn't even offer me, I don't know, at least a lifetime, uh, or at least a year's supply of these sensors. Nothing. He still, I believe, doesn't consider it his problem. Like, well, not a problem, but that it's because of him. And what? Yes. And I remember packing my things, imagine. I'm packing my own ring, like his things. Then I move to a new apartment. Then Alisher's mother appears in my contacts and in my life. I want to be real today, and nothing will happen to me if I call it what I see. It's a bit rude, but she's not a completely balanced woman for me. And I think she has schizotypal disorder. I don't think, I'm sure, I didn't know there were interviews where she talks about seeing UFOs, like numbers, various people are present in her life. She talks to someone. It's genetic, well, it's passed down genetically, and it's definitely from her. And I don't know what the internal story is and so on, but she's definitely not okay. And I'm not trying to shit on her, his family, him, and so on. No, I'm telling my real life, my real experience. And I call things by their names. If someone doesn't like it, that's their problem, I think. And she calls me. and tells me that poor Alisherchik, well, he's jumping off the balcony, like, he's already suicidal, like, at some point after everything Alisher did to me and so on, he was like, I don't, I still don't believe it was true because of that. I just think he was just getting worse and worse, and he just found something to lean on. And his mother calls him late at night, says that he has suicidal thoughts, that, uh, only I can save him. [ __ ] well, of course, who else? Well, of course, me, who else, really, if not me? And then she still had these thoughts. And then I really made contact. He came to me again then. We also had sex, kisses, and so on. All of that happened. But we were no longer in an official relationship, like, between each other, for sure. And when he came, he told me information that he was standing on the balcony, he was looking down, and if I remember correctly, but the context is definitely correct. His mother comes up next to him, stands there, looks with him, like, something like that, or he tells her. Well, the point is. She just tells him that when he's ready, he should call her, she'll be with him. She constantly, like, brought him some wine, or she was shining with wine when he isolated himself from alcohol. But, well, minimally, because I've already told you, but not everything is okay. And at first I didn't notice it at all. I was also in some kind of fog, in an abyss, like, in terms of Alisher, only Alisher, there is Alisher in my life, no one else, only Alisher, his problems, so to speak. And that's it. Well, and then this, yes, we came to the conclusion that he told me that phrase, and we stopped talking. And periodically he could write. He's in my archive on mute and subscribed. But we always had some kind of mental connection, and I don't know when these messages come, since they are on mute in the archive. But once Igor and I are talking about something, and I say: "Fuck, honestly, I feel like he wrote, yes, let's check." And we go in, he wrote 2 days ago, invited me to a documentary, like, but I didn't answer, didn't read it, obviously. I just pressed like this, looked, and that's it. And to, probably, summarize this, how to say it, this arc about this person, I want to say that this is the most difficult experience in my life, which forced me to stop, to no longer pursue the idea of such relationships. In no case, girls, do not communicate with rappers. Generally, there was just [ __ ] They are all some kind of fucked up. Ay. And I don't know. I am grateful to him for the fact that again, I am the person I am today. Well, it's banal, yes. This is gratitude and all that. Fuck no. I [ __ ] spent last year on antidepressants, on anti-anxiety medication. I didn't leave the house. I became a maximum sociopath. I didn't talk to anyone. Even with Igor, I practically hit walls. I constantly had black eyes, bruises on my arms, everywhere. I didn't know how to live with this fucking diabetes. No one taught me, no one told me, as I later found out, I should have been sent to some school. It's like taking a driving test. This is my life anew. I should be taught, no one gave me that. And and it's all so scary. And you're alone, and it all happens to you at once, and you have no money. That's why I returned to OnlyFans again. Not out of good life, not because everything is great, but because diabetes is [ __ ] at least very expensive. Yes, well, like, a pleasure in terms of. I tried to befriend him to live with him my whole life, because I hated him. He apparently hated me. And that's when I was going crazy, like, in that year, precisely because of that, and I took a lot of different pills. And I went through a lot of therapy and a lot of things. And at some point, I just got tired of reflecting. I got tired. It was like I had enough information about how much I know about myself today. And that's enough for me. I don't want to anymore. And today I don't want to cut off all men's balls. I understand that, by the way, about balls. I remember the moment when it was before the moment he left me. He had already proposed. He comes home, he arrives from somewhere. I always had a suspicion that he was cheating on me when he left. And I still think he was cheating. He never admitted it. And he comes and says: "I'm like Freddie Mercury, I'll be like, gay, like, and not gay, like, I'll fuck and in the ass, and not in the ass, like, life is like that, and generally I'm a rock star. Oh, and I'll also appear with other women, because I shouldn't lose this, this stud, because I'm again, yes, a rock star, I'm cool, awesome, they should want me, and I'll fuck whores. Oh, uh, don't worry, because [ __ ] are not people. They are [ __ ] And this is just, you know, and this was every day, full of such bullshit, such hysterics and so on. His hysterics. Like I just remembered the kitchen again, that location. He was making himself a sandwich. And I just say: "Make me one too, please." Not without please, I said: "Make me

"too". Just in a normal voice. And he got angry and yelled at me for not being a slave, to do something for me. It was, well, it's absurd. No, you can't ask a loved one to make me a sandwich. And a bunch of such different situations. And I don't know what's with him now. I don't want to know.

>> You said that he talked to himself and looked in the mirror. What kind of dialogues were those? You said that it happened for hours.

>> But he didn't allow being with him at that moment. He always left, locked himself in and that's it. And stayed there just like that to go crazy. I never knew. No, I can't even imagine, honestly, what those dialogues were. I don't know, I don't want to lie.

>> Pasha Durov, what kind of person is he? I had very little opportunity to get to know him at all in general, because as soon as we turned from meat-frying gatherings into a conference hall, like with a maestro on stage, I isolated myself and went into the house, because I wasn't interested. Uh, well, he, apparently, was telling that women at least, yes, this topic, that women at least spoil the male empire and they shouldn't be present in the life of a man who pursues the idea of creating some great body. Therefore, no, well, he's a robot, well, by appearance, like, AI, really, no emotion. Black eyes like this, just like two beads. A very calm gaze, so calm that it's even unsettling. Uh, well, he didn't show his torso, like on Instagram. I don't know,

>> what drugs or weed did you use together in Crimea for

>> I only weed and once we together, oh no, wait, we together once ate mushrooms in chocolate from Amsterdam they brought us. And once MDM we together tried in the same Amsterdam, when we were there. There. And so we smoked together. If together, then only weed, and he without me already God knows what.

>> What do you know, he used like this, if to list. You said cocaine,

>> cocaine, ketamine. Well, these, by the way, were simply insane doses, not doses, but liters of any alcohol. And he always said that he savored like a Frenchman and that he was generally immortal. Uh, which, in general, by the way, hurt me, and I tried to prove to him that, well, simply, that no. Uh, but I managed at one point at the beginning of the relationship with somehow for about 3 months to stop the consumption of alcohol from Alisher's side, because I told him a phrase, but I didn't know it would touch him. I never once, from the moment we started dating, knew how he smelled. Uh, and it was very important for me, well, to know his smell. Uh, and I didn't know. I told him this and said that it hurt me very much that I didn't know how he smelled. And, apparently, it touched him, and he didn't drink for some time.

>> Did you still try to have children, or did it not go further after that examination? He had a fixed idea that if I gave birth, my diabetes would disappear. Apparently he thought so, and I thought with him too. Well, of course, I, well, having this illness, counting on that first, you know, in diabetes there is such a concept as a honeymoon. Well, they told me so, uh, honeymoon, uh, it's when you think that diabetes is gone, but in reality it's only starting to reveal itself. And so I and everyone in this period think that it's like passing now, and everything is fine with you, the sugar levels are so fucked up. Uh, and so I also thought that way for a while, and it just happened during the period when we were still planning, well, let's say, discussing this moment. And then I remember just one episode - it's when we were in bed. This is when everything is already very bad, but we are having sex. And he's like: "I feel that I should cum in you now." And [ __ ] something inside me told me no, and I pushed him away. Well, somehow, you know, it was, it wasn't a dialogue, it was more on an emotional level from my side, that I dare not do this now, it won't be normal now. But, honestly, for the most part, it seems to me that we couldn't have had them. Besides the tests, when they announced my illness to us and announced that he had good indicators, they told us that he had, correct me if I'm wrong, dormant sperm, if that's what it's called.

Well, sperm motility, >> probably, yes, if to put it that way, that is, simply that we, if we don't work on this issue of business now, I don't know, I don't know how this is resolved for a man, honestly. Uh, but at that moment, yes, they told us that for now it's impossible, they are not active because of his lifestyle.

>> So I think, somehow, if he exists, God protected me.

>> You already had abusive relationships. Why did you step on the same rake? Ah, well, if not to say what's clear to everyone, that I'm just a fool, then today after therapy and some reflective moments I understand that it was a familiar format to me, similar to what I had throughout my life, originating even in adolescence. It was something familiar, understandable, on which I relied and thought that this was, as it were, the norm. Even if later I didn't think so, the body doesn't go into symbiosis with the brain and heart. And it turns out that this is an internal war too. But I always chose the heart, now I choose the head. So I think it's just a familiar format that I fell into because it was so understandable to me. And today I don't think so. I I hope. Alisher became uh a person who put a gestalt on this, like, that's it, he closed it. Uh, this was the last such experience. I'd rather, probably, be alone all my life than like this. I just was always afraid to be alone too. And now, you know, it's so nice after so much time to go out or go to the cinema alone. And it's not scary, and even interesting, and even, you know, you have to learn more about yourself. And you're like: "Damn, I'm interesting, like, I'm cool, and it's somehow nice to belong to myself again."

>> Do you still love him or do you have feelings left?

>> I don't love him. And it's such a happiness to say. I don't love him. And I think that, um, last year I also didn't love him anymore. I think, I think, the love, the one I dream of, left long ago. Considering how he treated me, I think then it was more fear that guided me, fear of being alone again and saying no to this relationship. And to him too, because I never dreamed of being treated like that in a relationship. Of course not. Ah, but habit, addiction mostly guided me towards the end too. And last year I was working through hatred and aggression towards him. I, honestly confess, wished him, him all the shittiest things in the world that could happen to him. I so wanted justice. I would have so wanted him then, well, last year I so wanted him to suffer. All my thoughts, when I was taking antidepressants, I had side effects. And for about half a year, the psychiatrist who prescribed them warned me about this. She told me that at first I would dream, uh, dreams that were incredibly real. And it would be very difficult, because all the trauma would come out like this. And for about these six months, my days went by so that every day I dreamed of some [ __ ] so real that I couldn't believe that it was happening again and again. And I wake up, I understand that it's a dream, but I can't get away from it so much that it took a whole day. And so every day, like some Groundhog Day. Then, when I had already finished taking antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications, all of that, I again, ah, well, I, of course, didn't smoke weed, I quit everything, I started taking care of my health. I got an awesome cool doctor Dmitry. I just adore him. He he saves me every day. And I so want him to live forever. I don't want that. He's just, well, not young. He's 60 something, but he looks awesome. He's simply gorgeous. You know, sometimes there are such doctors who are about health, and you come to them, and they too, as it were, wouldn't mind a doctor, because they, well, definitely look unhealthy. And Dmitry is that doctor to whom you want to entrust your whole self, because he looks awesome and he says awesome things. And he's so similar to my grandpa, who died in August. And as if I want to believe that today this person is in my life instead of him too.

>> What was the most expensive gift Alisher gave you?

Uh-uh, probably, just, mm, money he gave me for my birthday, gave me, uh, 100,000, but conditionally them too, in essence, it's not that I gnawed them out,

>> dollars,

>> yes. Uh, he, yes, he gave them to me, but what am I getting at? Uh- I'm getting at that it was a gift that I needed to, well, conditionally, prove why I needed this money. That is, it's my birthday. I chose what he could give me, I didn't choose the amount, it was his. Ah, but I I had to prove why exactly uh money and that my own were, like, running out. I had to show everything, prove everything, that is, it wasn't mostly by desire, it was as if it was so I wouldn't bother. There. And before that I said that it was more for household. Well, yes, now I'm saying what happened and, well, it was a birthday. I I'm not really justifying myself now, I just mostly want to say that they then flowed into all these uh uh for treatment. Uh in short, I I didn't I didn't enjoy this money, I didn't spend it on pleasure, I spent it on survival. Then, in essence, I, thank God, now well then I saved a little of it, because I was constantly in this, in this pit, and I didn't even want to dress up, nothing. That is, I had no reasons to somehow spend them, uh, you know, left and right. There. So in essence, this is one of the beautiful things he left me, on which I, as it were, lived later, when he left.

Was there hate from Ukrainians regarding your relationship with Morgenstern, who is essentially Russian? >> And how did you perceive it?

Well, yes, probably, but I just refused to uh uh monitor uh comments, because there was just a lot of hate from the moment of the war, and because of OnlyFans, and because of the interview, where about rape, and because of the fact that mm I with Alisher later, in short, it all piled up on each other and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. And I had no desire to go online and read these things about myself. Therefore, I had such a uh uh remote publication of all the content that I posted. Uh I knew that this was happening, but I also knew that our couple was loved too. For some reason, people really liked it. Uh I I remember that people liked how Alisher changed with me. And of course, it flattered me. But you see, here's such a format, that it flattered me that, well, ego turns out, that like I'm such a person that with me, well, he behaves better, feels better. Although in reality I and no one can change anyone, like only they themselves, if they want to. This is such a phantom reality where you think you're deciding something.

>> What was his true position regarding the Russian government, the Russian-Ukrainian war? What he said to you personally, not on camera, if you talked about it.

>> No, well, he was definitely against the war. He never supported it, but he always said that he missed home and he would like to return. Well, honestly, like I, well, can find some understanding in this, because, well, it's really his home, it's really his Well, I also miss Dnipro very much. I would very much like to come to Dnipro and any parts of Ukraine are no longer what I remember from my memory. This is now a very dangerous, sad story, and I miss my dad very much too. Ah, Alisher, we, probably, didn't really discuss this, there weren't any specific moments. There was, I remember, some situation when, well, correct me if they are right, there is some Pussy Riot. Pussy Riot, a group that performed, these are activists, girls, they performed in churches, they were imprisoned. After that, the Russian Orthodox Church protested against this. Activists against the government, against Putin, against the Russian Orthodox Church. Somehow they got in touch with him and say that Zelensky wants to hold a conference with Alisher.

>> Uh-huh.

>> Well, it turned out that it was a fake. Just

>> fake,

>> yes.

>> In Dubai there was a direct line with Sobchak and Alisher Morgenstern. Do you remember this story?

I uh uh know that this moment happened, but I was no longer present in his life then. He had already left me again then.

>> So there Ksenia Sobchak asked if he wanted to return to Russia. He said: "Yes." And she asked: "What are you ready to do for this?" And she gave the example of Roma Zveri. The group Zveri and frontman Roman. And he, as it were, went to Donbas from the Russian side, performs there for the military, again, Russian. And she asked if Alisher would be ready to pay such a price to return. He then said that he was considering such an option.

>> I just didn't see that interview. I then just isolated myself from any information about him, so I didn't watch anything and don't know. Okay, I didn't know. I, well, it's clear that I don't support this. Well, like, if you're talking about that. That is, I, yes, we had many situations when in the house, like, Dania Milokhin was just like that, and I received some mm there we lived like a trap house in Dubai, when we lived, when he took me to his place. There was no mm never just us two. It's a thoroughfare, generally, a lot of people. Uh, but Milokhin and Palagin always lived with us. And Dania here is also a character in terms of, he received some offer there, if I remember correctly, from Narcoshop, a guy who is in some kind of mask there, like.

>> Ah, Moriarty,

>> yes? So from him to go, like, to the front with weapons to take photos, like to film that he supports the war and so on, but not to fight

>> from the Russian side,

>> yes. And he really wanted this,

>> considered.

>> Yes, he wanted to go, if not for Alisher, and said that you're like an idiot. And, well, Dania really comes up to me, says this, spills it out there, like. And I remember, she yelled at him very much. I burst into tears. I think: "Well, how do you have the right to come up to me now and generally tell this and generally want this? Well, who did you come to tell this to?" Therefore, no, there, well, it's complete [ __ ].

>> I just, as far as I understand, Dania Milokhin's girlfriend is Ukrainian.

>> I know little about her. By the way, this is my acquaintance Igorek's, by the way. Moreover, I want to tell you that he introduced them. There. And yes, I generally, honestly, know nothing. I know that she is from a very rich family originally, that her surname is Zelenska. Uh, that's all, she's with him now, like, yes, building a life, something there they have there, either a year, or something like that already, yes.

How could he even consider this, knowing that his girlfriend,

>> and this person is random. You know, if life with Alisher was random, then this one, it's unclear what will happen every second. I never really, he never liked me, especially because of how he behaves, how he positions himself. He has no principles, like, he just, well, doesn't give a damn, if you look at it, yes, from a general superficial side, maybe, well, it's cool to be so dumb. Like not thinking about anything, neither about others' feelings, nor about his own feelings, but just being, uh, where it's profitable and convenient. Uh, this is Dania, whom I know in 2023. What he's like now, I have no idea. By the look on TikTok, it seems that she, Darina, if I remember her name correctly, settled him down. It seems that, well, he drives for deliveries and works as a courier, does such human things. That is, I see on social networks that he's not carried away anymore, as he was before. But that's all I know. I don't know what he's like.

>> Well, this is shocking information for me

>> what.

>> That he was ready to go to the front, to take photos with Russian military.

>> Money, money.

>> How much was offered for this? If I remember correctly, you 40

>> 40,000 dollars,

>> yes? Well, if I remember correctly, I might be mistaken, but the first thing that came to mind now is 40,000.

>> Fierce. The world has rotted. This is the first first podcast. I've already said this twice. What pre-warning signs did you notice so that other people, perhaps, are experiencing something similar now, so that they could understand in advance what it leads to?

Absolutely. I would also immediately, while I remember this in my head, because I, well, again quit weed, and I have a bit of a problem with short-term memory, like, I can forget. Therefore, I would immediately advise everyone to definitely get checked once every six months, like for all tests. Just take it as an obligation in your life, that once every six months I get checked and do all tests, because I didn't check myself for a very long time, like, didn't go to a gynecologist, nothing. This doesn't mean that I have any problems now there or this, but diabetes just appeared out of nowhere, if I had gone, like, maybe I would have found out earlier. So the situation with the child is just really, well, somewhere from above. Uh, and the signs - it dries, it dries very much, because it turns out that with diabetes, sugar always goes up, accordingly, um, constant dehydration, uh, consumption of a very large amount of water. Uh, that is, before I drank a glass a day and it was fine for me. I didn't particularly like water, like, well, it was what it was. That is, I was fine. Well, that doesn't mean that everything was normal with my skin and body. No, it was just fine. And then, out of nowhere, I started drinking two liters a day. I still remember this message to my mom. I write to her in a voice message on TG: uh, mom, I started drinking so much water. I hope it's not some illness. Probably, I'm getting ready for summer. Well, in short, some kind of crap like that. And then, yes, frequent urination, very frequent. Uh, and nausea. Nausea. I then, by the way, thought I was pregnant and constantly did tests. Well, nothing. It turns out that my pancreas, it, as it were, no longer exists, it died absolutely completely. And our pancreas produces insulin, and our insulin covers all our carbohydrates, like all this that we consume, from which, in fact, sugar rises. And when the pancreas fails, nothing covers all of this for me. And I ate all the [ __ ] that was possible, especially when I was high. And, ah, that is, it turns out, I miraculously didn't die yet, because there was no insulin in me when they found diabetes in me and they did a test that can be done, it turns out 3 months before you can do maximum uh uh blood and urine tests, and for all 3 months, God knows how much longer before that, my sugar was 35, the norm, I remind you, is 4-6.

Let's talk about 1+1. >> How did you get into the TV series School?

The story itself is cool in terms of it being the day when I was signing another contract to Japan in Dnipro. I came from one contract, hung out for like a couple of weeks at home in Dnipro and was signing another one. And not long before this moment, my Instagram was hacked. I had my purebred 40,000 subscribers, which I transferred from ASFM.

Uh, and Ask.fm. Ah, okay.

>> You know, yes-yes, already remembered. Yes, yes, yes. For millennials, because it seems to me that people now don't know.

>> Zoomers millennials know what it is.

>> I always confuse them. Tell me. I think they don't know.

Uh, well, in short, it was such a website where you can be asked a question anonymously, and you answer it. You can answer with text or video or a photo. Well, that's it. I somehow, like, answered coolly there. Because of this, I had subscribers and my parents participated in my answers. Grandpa for the most part, my audience loved him very much. I remember how we went together to 50 Shades of Grey with him. And he's so funny. And he, by the way, is the only one in my family who speaks Ukrainian. He was such a Cossack. And he just stands up in the middle of movies and says: "What's up, BDSM."

>> Uh-huh.

>> And everyone just starts cracking up. And we then told this story on FM, they really loved it. And my Instagram was hacked. And for the first time I saw that, to unfreeze it, they wrote to the email, sent a crypto wallet. This was either 2016 or 2017. I was stunned by this. What is this? What kind of accounts? I told my dad, asked him for money so he would pay. They unblocked me,

>> in my opinion, 1,000 dollars were extorted then. M,

>> well, quite a decent amount of money.

Moreover, 40,000 subscribers. And he was like, if you send it, I'll return it. Well, at his own risk, dad sent it to support my business. Blogging and they really returned it to us, but I was in such a state, you know, like, damn, where to get this money, how to return it to dad, like all that. So this was the morning when I was signing the contract, I was eating terribly tasteless dumplings. And opposite us there's such a layout, that here's a sofa on oh here's a small kitchen where I was sitting, eating, and opposite there's a sofa and the TV was playing 1+1. And then, out of nowhere, uh, the phone rings, and there's a woman like: "Hello, I'm a manager, like, of the casting department of 1+1, I want to invite us you for auditions, for a new project." I was already so paranoid, I think: "That's it, they hacked me already on TV too." Like I already think: "That's it, I need to run and change Wi-Fi urgently, I need to tell dad." And in the end it turned out, well, I blocked everyone first, and then they started writing to me already on Instagram, and VKontakte, and also in other types of messengers. And then I went to get my nails done in Dnipro, and there a girl from the salon Krasto, the administrator, says: "Lis, didn't 1+1 write to you about?" I was like, they wrote: "And how do you know?" She says: "Well, I gave your contact." I say: "Ah, and she says, my friend is just going to direct a new project there now, and I gave your contact because she's looking for, like, girls." And I'm like: "Damn, I need to call back." And I called back, arranged, came. Then I was flying to Turkey via Kyiv with my friend to celebrate my 18th birthday. And I just had an extra 6 hours to drop in and audition. I didn't learn the text. I, honestly, didn't even see that they sent it to me on Facebook. And I came, they gave me a selection. Uh, very funny. First of all, I was stunned that it was in Ukrainian, I didn't know. Ah, well, because the Ukrainian language is already so cute for us, such that, well, I couldn't, I won't be able, it seems to me, to get offended at a person who will swear at me in Ukrainian. It will still be cute. Well, like, what the heck, well, like it's still cute. And like, uh, first of all, yes, I was like, aha, in Ukrainian. And then there was also a phrase: "Pasha, what will I do? Don't advertise the presentation and you need to cry." And it's funny to me. But why cry? And they don't explain, they don't reveal the script. Well, that's it. And I sat down for the first time, nothing good. Then the second time I also can't. She says: "Okay, go to the gas station and learn it." Like, well, apparently, she really wanted it to be me, and I succeeded. I learned it and somehow, you know, this third time I came, sat down, and just 2 months shortly before this moment my ex-boyfriend broke

I remember betrayals might have been there too, you know, classically. But he was a tyrant, as I understand it, he yelled at her, offended her, like, forbade her things. He didn't support her. Uh, with blogging, in the sense that he didn't support it. I mean, he already had a huge flow of, uh, experience in media presence, numbers, and so on. Well, in my world, excuse me, I don't know, when there's a loved one and they, I'm talking about Dima now, uh, have such an active life, they know how it works, and they have their other half, uh, which in our example is Olya: Uh-huh. And you don't want to help your love, like, make her life better, like, more convenient, I don't know, more successful. That is, as far as I know, he never helped. He always left her with all the problems that arose. He just existed in her life, not with her. >> Well, people often, it seems to me, don't want the girl to manifest in any way, to be active. >> So you're starting a relationship with her then, if you don't want to? Well, like, [ __ ] that's the most idiotic thing, honestly. I'm already getting angry. My sugar will fly now. Ah, like, how can I explain it to you? Ah, so you enter into a relationship with a girl. Here I am, for example, I entered into a relationship, right, with Morgenstern. At the beginning, he already knew that I was leading an online presence, and then, for some reason, he started doing something wrong. For what reason. You saw me, that I'm doing this, that this is my life. So why the hell should I change it when you enter into it and adapt to your realities, when you are not ready to adapt to mine? It's not fair. No, that's why men are strange to me in this regard. Like, I don't know, maybe in the lesbian community too, I don't know, in that space too. I would really like to be a lesbian. >> Although, it seems to me, there are also plenty of toxic relationships there. Well, it's just that after my experience with men, I had such a drive: "Will I be with a drunk?" Like, I can do it. I went on Tinder, looked for acquaintances with women, like, after the last relationship, I was so overwhelmed. Oh, damn it already. And, uh, I was looking for where to find some girl I would like. I was like, "I'll try." But I found someone visually aesthetic, I look, she's pretty. I just like her appearance. But I don't know what a woman who experiences sexual attraction to women should feel to really, you know, as you say, be hooked. >> Disgusting. >> What is disgusting? >> Well, sex. >> You think, like, I thought it was disgusting? >> No, no, uh, no, >> it's disgusting. >> Not disgusting, but disgusting. Yes. Pasha Bumchik taught me. And what, what does disgusting mean? >> Well, like sex. Well, it comes from the word "gatitsya," disgusting. Okay. >> Pasha Bumchik taught me. We were streaming with him and subscribers were writing: "It will be disgusting." >> Okay. >> I say: "What did he say?" >> What is that? Probably a freeze. >> Okay. >> I'm also a lesbian, >> right? >> Cool. >> Ira Kudashova? >> Uh-huh. >> Again, do you communicate? >> No, I'm completely neutral about her. I don't know, we've never had any, how to say, close relationships. Never at all, I don't know. She just passed me by. Mm, Ira, no offense, but this is purely from my perspective. She was so, like, a pick-me at school. >> Pick-me? >> Well, yeah, like that. And it pissed me off. Uh, and that's it. I just abstracted myself. I didn't shit on anyone or anything. It just happened like that. >> She defended you, by the way, I saw. Because of some of your statements. >> And what did she say? >> Uh, I don't remember exactly, but she said that everyone can make mistakes. And this was already after the full-scale start of the full-scale war. >> I understood. I don't know, I don't know, but thank you very much. Like, I didn't know. >> Your attitude towards him is also [ __ ]. >> Honestly, no, like, neutral. I don't think about him at all. I don't even know where he is, what's with him, like, we've completely lost touch. I don't know. Yes, no way. Well, at the time when I saw him and remember and shared with him, well, daily life and filming, and work, he was a very good guy, very steady, very calm, like you could rely on him, like the most conscious person there. Well, normal. Well, a good guy. >> About 1+1. Do you want to add anything about the atmosphere, how it was working with actors, the difficulty, or in general? We've said everything, let's move on. >> Well, I think that's all. Besides what I've already written about them, I would just like to say that I am also grateful. They made a big contribution to my personal development. Uh, so I'm just saying that today I'm trying to be real, uh, authentic. In what context? That I don't want to romanticize anything and I don't want to rely on anything. I don't want to go in any one direction. Uh, more or less. No, everywhere there's a shitty side and a good side in the same moment. Therefore, there was bad, there was good, for which I am grateful, and I value, and no, now in this arc I will say that I am grateful. >> Let's return to Dani Vechas. I remember that when the war began, he spoke about the Russian-Ukrainian war. In 2023, Dani Vegas said he was ashamed of consuming Russian content. And now he has left, starred in a Russian film, has a Russian manager, and is silent about Ukraine. What do you think about him now? Where is he and what is his life flow like now? >> Well, I don't think about him at all, to be honest. I just started, well, in the sense that he's in my head again because I see on TikTok that he starred in a movie. Let's be honest. From the perspective of a person who adores cinema, strives to be an actress, uh, she likes. I, about myself, uh, I can just say that he has reached this point. Objectively, well done. But how he did it, that's, of course, [ __ ] Like, again, about these two sides of the coin, I can't say that I'm proud of him or anything like that, like, no. So, I mean, if it wasn't a Russian project, I might feel pride, like, purely humanly, why not? Uh, but, well, for me, [ __ ] considering that he also, as far as I know, has parents from Severodonetsk. Like, I don't know, well, [ __ ] because, well, I, well, based on my own experience, I chose a side, I made a decision. I even tried at one point in Moscow to fight for this story, that there is no war, like, and I can somehow influence this story, as I thought. Obviously not anymore, but, uh, as it is. So I don't know what to say about him. Well, let him hang out there, what >> he lives in Russia. >> Well, it seems so. Yes, it seems so. For some reason, I think he even changed his passport, as far as I can tell. Possibly. Well, I don't know. I don't know anything about him at all, honestly. Not even through some random sources. There are no people who, even through three or four handshakes, would whisper or sing something to me. We've completely lost touch. Okay. We'll talk about you choosing a side again, let's get back to that. But for now, about TikTok House. >> TikTok House. XO Life and the Russian scene, let's talk. >> How did you get into XO Life? Uh, it's XOAM already, if I understand correctly, because XO Life is, they had a reality show project on YouTube, and when the TikTok industry happened, they called themselves XO. So, I got into Exoam. Initially, I was written to by, uh, tell me, please, Hype House. The manager of Hype House, Zair. He was the first one who invited me to a TikTok house. We communicated with him. He even wanted to move to Ukraine to talk to me, to sign a contract. But then something started to change. He disappeared. And then the Dream Team guys wrote to me, where Danya Milokhin was. Uh, and then XO Team wrote to me. Of all of them, I chose XO, because I always strived for quality of the picture, not for the quantity of subscribers. All those guys in the houses had terrible, provincial content. No effort, like, and, uh, emphasis on the fact that we are doing a quality story, but the guys, they had an operator, and content, like, everything was so beautiful, like, uh, especially at that time. And that's why I went to them, because they had, in my opinion, higher quality compared to others. Uh, I got there, yes, I traveled by bus, by minivan. Uh, at that time, by the way, there were already problems at the border. I didn't know that they were letting people out so strictly. Kirik was >> this was in 2019. This was almost immediately after COVID hit. Uh, I arrived, I remember that when we were just entering Moscow, they held us at the border for a very long time, everything was interrogated. I remember I'm passing by Ukrainians, I'm taking out papers, documents, you know, that story was already there, that they were making special certificates. >> Uh, and I'm passing, taking out all these things to show that I have them. They say: "You're going to show this to them?" I say: "Uh." And then it's 2 km on foot to this border through these villages. Uh, well, I sat there for maybe five hours with some old lady who was constantly crying. It was just [ __ ] Uh, well, and these guards, of course, are like, uh, well, they think they're all psychologists, you know, manipulators. How much did they pay you for this? I have a camera showing me a lot of money, how much I will pay if I don't admit now that these are all fake certificates. They brought some random guy, tried to convince me that, uh, like, how can I explain it to you? Uh, in general, he made every effort to make me burn the place down. Well, because it's really obvious, honestly, because all the papers, I looked at them later on the table, they all have the same font. Well, they were issued by the same office, apparently. They all have the same disease. Well, [ __ ] very bad. Uh, but he still let me go. He threw my passport at me like this and said, >> this is at the Russian border, >> yes? So I got into the bus, and there was no internet. Nothing. I didn't even know if these guys were waiting for me at all, because everyone had passed through, like, they were gathering some kind of group for this bus. And I went. And, you know, about 10-15 kilometers before entering Moscow, a truck crashed into us and broke the rear window completely. And we were driving in sub-zero temperatures, like, in this minivan. As of today, I understand that fate was warning me that it would be very, very difficult. And so it happened. >> Uh-huh. How did you agree to come at all? >> Ah, listen, it turns out that I never planned to stay in Ukraine my whole life. I always wanted more in terms of media, in terms of life. I wanted to move forward. In Ukraine, at some point, I reached my maximum. It became not very interesting to me. I wanted to try new things. And I, I already had a visa to America for 10 years. And I thought I should fly to America right away. But at some point, I realized that if I go from Ukraine directly to America, it's like this, if you visualize it, and Moscow is like here. I thought, I'll make a stop in Moscow for a couple of years, learn more about media, about advertising, about business, about bloggers, and then go straight to America from there. Well, that's what happened. I went, I planned to save some money. Uh, I didn't save, well, I spent everything because I wanted to match the companies I was in. That's it. Uh, well, and the war started at that moment, when I was already there. So, yes, and then when the war started with this visa, which I still had, it, by the way, just recently expired, I realized that yes, I don't want America either, actually. It all turned out to be warnings from TV series, movies, like imposed public opinion, how, where, like all these movies. Well, in short, I realized that I don't want to. Here's my visa, here's my free time, here's everything. I don't, no, it means it's not for me, it means I don't want it. How much were you paid at XO? Ah, >> I was without contracts, I was without contracts everywhere. Uh, I think it's because it was no longer possible to cooperate with Ukraine, I had a Ukrainian passport. Well, I'm just fantasizing. Uh, and I received a percentage from advertising projects that came to the agency. I can't name an exact amount, but it was definitely many times more than in Ukraine. Like, many times. So I could, I think, I just don't remember the exchange rate then, but I think when I had 5,000 rubles in my hands, it was $100 at the time. And somewhere in a month, I could easily get like 2-3 million >> rubles. >> Rubles >> that's 20-30,000 dollars, right? >> I don't know, you're bad at math >> at that time. Yes, 20. >> Well, probably. I spent everything, but life in Moscow is really expensive. That is, uh, I also moved out of the guys' house and lived on my own. Uh, and yes, but I mainly spent money on showing off, >> for example. >> Like better taxi services, like these businesses, like >> Maybach, yes, Yandex. >> Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And new clothes every time, because you need to be photographed, to match, so they don't see that I'm wearing the same thing. And I remember, it's been almost five, right, years, 2021. That's five, well, five, yes, 5 years ago, I went and got my lips done, like, I made myself like Valya Karnaval. Uh, and you know, when you hang out with them, you really start to resemble them. I went, got hair extensions, paid 500,000 rubles, that's a lot. Well, it's crazy for hair. I took them off a month later. Well, in short, on everything. No, and I also made my parents happy, of course. That was very important to me. But still, it's crazy. I don't know. I, I, I am a completely different person now. >> How did the Ukrainian scene differ from the Russian scene then? Bloggers, producers? >> Yes, honestly, here, perhaps, I will answer briefly and clearly. It's the presence of soul, heart, and some kind of justice. That is, I went with all of this to the wrong place and that's it. Besides getting screwed over and burned, I also became like them. That's just [ __ ] So, yes, >> about money. Yes, >> yes, yes, yes, absolutely. Like, okay, everywhere there is, yes, how to say it, nowhere is there 100% of anything for me, yes, there is everywhere a probability that there is some one percent of something that distinguishes it. Uh, of course, in all of Moscow, there might be at least one person who, like, pursues all the same beliefs about love, friendship, and soulfulness. But in those gangs, they are really gangs, which I hung out with, well, some kind of [ __ ] that today I wouldn't let into my life for any money. I can be bought, I can, but it will be difficult. You'll have to try very hard to buy me today. So, yes, as they say, everything has its price. I still never trade my soul, friendship, and people for money. Because when the war started, I found myself in a complete mess. Only the presence of this in my life saved me from all of this that I experienced firsthand. Therefore, I will never betray what I have. That's what I'm talking about. >> And how did it manifest in that scene, that everything is about money, this mercantilism, maybe you remember any cases, situations? >> Probably, at least just from their dialogues, like, well, you, you, you can't just sit like this and talk heart to heart, discuss without cameras, nothing at all. They seem to have a third eye in their heads, and it's a 5x objective. Like, everything is on camera, you can't say anything anywhere, talk to anyone. Well, I don't know, today it's such a terrible place for me, I remember. Well, I mean, when I first arrived at XO, I had no idea who these people were. Like, I want to get to know them normally, joke with them, touch them, yes, I don't know, who are you. But they just barge in. Oh, I barge into the yard, there's already equipment everywhere. They're already filming how I arrived, we're hugging, kissing deeply, like everyone's friends, the camera turns off, everyone goes into the house, I'm like, "Well, that's banal." German is completely crazy. Uh, he pushed me against the wall like this, bam, and said, "You smell so delicious." Just his girlfriend, [ __ ] Eva Miller is standing right behind me. And then another ex, Marisen, is also nearby. Yes, it's like a reality show there, and I can't. It's just a horror. It's just [ __ ] Oh God, it's just the worst for me, probably in Moscow, one of them is when they filmed this reality show about me later. Like, I'm the antagonist who destroyed their team. No, no. And you all deserve each other. I don't know how it is now, but I'm talking about that time, guys, if you ever watch this. But now, as of today, I don't remember any of them. Uh, I don't know anything about them, about their lives. And I [ __ ] I'm very happy. I'm very happy that this is no longer in my life. There are normal people with principles, which I also follow. I can share with them both bad and awesome moments, and [ __ ] such happiness. I can't. I spent the whole day at home last year on antidepressants, just in such a mess. I know I'm swearing a lot in this episode, but I'm very emotional right now because this is real happiness for me right now. When you asked me how I'm feeling today, it's more than normal. I'm truly, honestly happy. >> Marisen and German were toxic. >> Yes. >> Yes. They were very, like, crazy, somehow. Especially German, Masha. We had some fights, as I thought, about Tim, Timur Sorokin, because I was messing around with him a little. As I understood, she was jealous, but she said she wasn't. But Alisha was also in love with Tim at that time. Masha broke up with Tim, but was still in love with Tim. Like, Tim was already messing with me. There was Kристи Krime, Volodya Xel was in love with her. Volodya was in love with me. In short, it was a whole mess. It's a horror. It's a camp. >> Were there any manipulations of the participants? >> Manipulations. Well, listen, I, I probably don't remember openly. No, listen. Well, yes, probably, but it's like, you need to film, probably, so many TikToks, otherwise you won't leave the house. Something like that. Well, I remember this now, I don't remember anything else. >> Was there any control over your personal life? >> Well, yes, it turns out, even in the context of not being able to leave the house. Well, yes, they needed to, [ __ ] know everything, who you're talking to, what you're doing, what shit you're shitting. Like, you couldn't be alone anywhere in that house, nowhere at all. You could only be in the shower. And even then, imagine, there are, let's say, 20 people living in this house, not that big, considering that, well, so many live there, but during the day, many more people hang out there, operators, producers, managers, and blah-blah-blah. And you go out, this line, you know, like to the toilet with towels. Well, it's just [ __ ] At first it was okay, but when some messes started to happen, that's when I started to learn, to understand, how can I say it, the taste of life in a TikTok house, I realized that it's not for me at all. And so I moved out. >> What was the worst moment at XO? >> Probably this reality show they filmed about me, because then the first big hate appeared. And I'm new to this industry, specifically in Moscow, in these circles. And they all attacked me at that moment. Well, and of course, as always, everyone knows where it comes from. Like, they are already established figures on this, uh, like, pedestal of Russian show business. Uh, and they have acquaintances, friends, with whom, actually, they introduced me. It was terrible for me then, but I handled it normally. I even rewatched a couple of episodes recently. To amuse myself. I destroyed your team. Girl, >> spill. >> Well, why did you come? >> Uh, because they drove me crazy, honestly. Well, this, this whole life, this need to tell everyone everything. I can't be on my own. I didn't like hanging out, how should I say it now, with children. Like these children. Yes, you couldn't discuss anything with them. I swear to you, uh, as for me, I'm not calling myself [ __ ] smart or a prodigy, that I had no one to discuss intergalactic black holes with. No, but I lacked, like, basic questions, like, why do you think the sky is blue? Like, basic. No, we constantly discuss gossip, some specific TikTok scene, who fucked whom, who didn't fuck whom, who kissed whom, who didn't kiss whom. I'm tired, like, I don't want to know this, I don't want to constantly know about it. And between these parties, you have to constantly report to everyone, like, what you did, and why you kissed him, and why this, and why that. Well, in short, you don't live your life there. >> Is the Russian blogger scene really rotten? >> And if so, again, why, we've already talked about it, but maybe listen, for me, if I just say rotten, that's enough to stop at the point that if people don't pursue, uh, human, >> human, yes, love, peace, friendship, chewing gum, yes, then that's it, well, they are [ __ ] to me. The only difference is, if they are present in my life, they will be [ __ ] and they immediately leave my life. And there are those who are like that, they are not present, and I just don't care. They don't affect me in any way. It's like, you know, there are people who don't like gay people, but there are those who really want to beat them up. And there are those who, well, I don't like them, but they don't bother me, so okay. I'm from that format, that they don't bother me, and I'm okay. >> Who was the most hypocritical? From the Russian blogger scene, from your circle, from your friends, with whom you interacted. I had a couple of good people. It was, again, the former manager and Zhenya, with whom, who also quit there, when I left, almost at the same time. And we teamed up and she saved me a lot. And for a while, there was, uh, a very significant episode in my life when Jarachov was involved, in the sense that it was that party where I could talk about human things, like adult adults with whom it was interesting, and we filmed great, cool content. That is, uh, it was even, you know, like I was at school, and my friend and I, after the last lesson ended, went to McDonald's on Vorontsovka, got ourselves a.

Double cheeseburger, they came to her house, sat down, turned on the computer, and turned on Click-clack. And then, you know, well, I met them, like, it was just cool. >> Who was the most hypocritical? >> All of them, and even me, to survive, I'll tell you honestly, all of us, all there. You can't be non-hypocritical in Moscow, in my opinion. You're either walking on heads and bones, or you're [ __ ] eating. >> Are you currently in touch with anyone? >> No, I'm not talking to anyone at all. >> Are there people you've quarreled with? >> Yes, I just wrote to everyone to die. Like, I was acquainted, you know, with Jigan, I remember Nikolai Baskov. When the war started, I was in Moscow, and I remember that I posted a lot of stories, about Moscow, being in Moscow, or rather, about Russia, being in Moscow. That I am against the war, naturally, that I was shitting on Kadyrov, shitting on Putin, I posted all of that. And uh, those with whom I had already become acquainted started writing to me, like, that I should go [ __ ] off, like, like I was [ __ ] crazy, they blocked me all. Well, and I immediately told them, like, you're [ __ ] crazy. >> Who, for example? >> Uh, I remember Jigan for sure. Ah, I even remember that I went to the agency, by the way, where Dani Vegas is now, Dedinok. I had a good relationship with them. It was the agency I moved to after I was at Ix. Uh-huh. Ah, but when I remember that last day when I came to pick up the last payment, ah, for the project, because I understood that I needed to get this money as soon as possible, because I understood that I was going to leave soon, and there was no money, I had spent it, I had only a few pennies left. I went for this fee. And I remember that I'm taking it. I haven't slept, I swear, for the third night. I just don't remember which day it was, how the war started, but I wasn't ashamed to have the opportunity, excuse me, to eat normally, sleep and [ __ ] when I understand that my [ __ ] there. And I constantly, from then on, am on the phone like this, well, like everyone else, uh, I don't sleep, I don't eat, I don't [ __ ], I'm ashamed to sleep. Uh, in short, well, and I come to this office like this, pick up this money, and they're like: "Liza, like, what's wrong? Everything's okay, dude, you're okay." Like, well, I was, honestly. How much in Moscow, when it started, it wasn't considered [ __ ] But, well, it was considered the norm, like nothing is happening, and they're like: "Calm down, like, everything's okay." And I didn't maintain relationships with anyone, with anyone. I talked a little with Dora after the war started, because from personal sources I just know that she, well, in terms of personal sources, from personal experience. This is, in fact, in terms of acquaintances, she is the best of all of them, like, just a bright girl, as a person. And the songs are so cool, good, girlish, cute. Ah, but that's all, we're not in contact with anyone anymore, I haven't quarreled with anyone. With her too, we just lost touch. And when did you start speaking out, you say Jigan wrote to you or wrote, or did you meet? Tell me what kind of dialogue it was and what exactly he said. >> No-no-no, he just replied to a story. Like, I uh, he also posted stories where, you know, the Russian flag, the Ukrainian flag, this handshake, they liked to post that. >> The first few days, yes. >> Yes. Well, I wrote [ __ ] And he uh, deleted our correspondence with him, all those moments. No, he's also crazy. I don't know how not to be crazy there. >> It was Jigan. >> Jigan. Jigan. Once I was at his birthday party, I realized that they have a room for drugs, cocaine, and so on. I was shocked. And I didn't go to such parties anymore. Yes, there was little pleasure, to be honest. It's all alcohol and drugs. And a bunch of some strange women of an escort nature. >> Do you regret going to Russia? >> Uh-huh. >> Today? >> Let's. Okay. Yes, I would choose less pain in my life. And if I could, I probably wouldn't repeat this story and wouldn't go through it. But on the other hand, now I know how not to. On the other hand, now I have an understanding of how I don't want to live my life, who I don't want to be, and who I don't want to be like. I went through it through my personal experience. And as I've already understood, most likely, I wouldn't have understood it on someone else's. To become the person I am today. And even that's not the limit. My task now and today is to become better every day than yesterday. That's what I try to do. Therefore, I probably wouldn't erase this experience, because through pain it helped me become who I see in the mirror today, and I like her. >> Did you have a relationship with Dzharakhov? >> We had a relationship, ah, but a very scummy one because of me. I was bad in that relationship for the most part. And today I'm ashamed, but not ashamed to admit it. So, if briefly, after I left Xam, I needed communication, people. So I told you that when I found Click-clack and so on, I was very happy. It was the company with which I had something to talk about, and just to be. And it turns out that Eldar started to have more romantic feelings for me, which I, unfortunately, didn't want to happen, to be honest, because I was [ __ ] cool with him at the time as a person. I didn't want us to move to another level. It was so cool. And then I didn't reciprocate at first. I remember it was around 2 AM. Possibly, he comes home drunk and talks about his feelings. And we agreed that if I had such feelings, I don't remember, we had some joke with the word "chudo" (miracle), and I said that if I had something for him, I would give him "chudo" yogurt. And it turns out that somehow we were like this, at these statuses with each other at first without a relationship. And then I realized that he was somehow more, you know, like, you know, on a sensual level, you notice how a person starts to treat you differently than before. And now he will resume such a good and tender attitude towards you only when you become on the same level of feelings with him. And I noticed that. He became, well, so cold, like, he even sometimes demanded that I come and tell him. Well, and I realized that if he gets lost in my life now, I'll be, it'll be pizza in Moscow. I need him, I desperately need this person just to be, because it's very comfortable with him. Oh. And I, conditionally, forced myself to "fall in love," but not really. Well, like, it's clear that I fooled myself and him, accordingly. Since I was too stupid and didn't have the courage to approach him and say: "Eldar, this is the situation. This and that, as I'm telling you now, yes, I'm a [ __ ], forgive me. I understand that if anything, you won't want any contact after this." But that's how it happened. I just started doing what I did at 16 years old. that is, to ignore, not answer, provoke him to emotions, so that he would leave me. A typical [ __ ] of a sixteen-year-old. So that's how it is. And but he treated me well. I can't say anything about him doing anything bad to me. He then just [ __ ] due to his youthful maximalism also made TikToks, wrote songs like, like, under Egor Kreed, like, I'm holding on. It was very funny. Egor already likes to suffer as a character. And, and under all his such tracks, "Oh, how you treated me," they all told me, like, I'm a clown. Well, in short, this situation of the antagonist was very, you know, successfully presented at the moment when I broke up with Eldar. That is, it heated up the ground to the fact that I'm a [ __ ]. And here I am, really a [ __ ]. B, well, I won't laugh, really, like, [ __ ]. I'm really ashamed, but I had the opportunity to apologize to him when I was diagnosed with diabetes, because he also has type 1 diabetes, he was born with it. And when it happened to me, I thought it was necessary to call and say that I'm sorry, I now understand even more how much of a [ __ ] I am. We don't talk to him, and, as I said, not to anyone. But, honestly, I'm glad that I acted humanely from my side, at least. I'm glad to grow up, I'm glad to become a person. When the war began, the full-scale invasion, you were in Moscow. Can you tell us about those first hours and days, how long you were there, what was the atmosphere like, who did you talk to, your inner feelings, what you were doing there, and now this country is destroying people in your country, where your parents live. Yes, that's true. I was in Moscow at the time the war began. I learned this information from my parents, with whom I communicated on the night it happened. So, the first few days, probably like everyone else, no one understood how serious it was, how long it would last, what was happening at all. 21st century, war, rockets, uh, tanks, attack. Well, it's absurd. It's impossible to even imagine today, when it's ongoing. It's difficult for me. And, as I said, I didn't sleep, I didn't eat, I was always in touch, monitoring everything I could with everyone, you know, like you said, that everyone united, many came into each other's lives, reappeared in them to help each other cope. So I also reconnected with various contacts, of people with whom I lost touch long ago. But you weren't thinking about that at all then. You were thinking about, you know, yes, let's all cooperate, let's all do something. At that time, I was hanging out in Moscow with this Zhenya, who is the former manager of Ix, with a boy there, another one, with another boy. They are completely unrelated to these houses. And we were in this company, they were with me, and they supported me, and we somehow all coped with it together, conditionally, just living the days as we could. Then at some point, when I had already posted a certain series of stories, then I even, I already said, I went to rallies, on me, apparently, I don't know who, according to my memory, Yandex leaked the info. They leaked everything to everyone then, to their clients. I don't know, maybe hacked, maybe what. I don't know how it was, but somewhere the information came from where I live, my accounts, my names, my documents, everything. And in this period, when I started actively posting about mocking Kadyrov, mocking Putin, all these people. And then, there is such a group in Ukraine, Open Kids. >> Yes, I know. >> And a girl, I don't remember her name, if I remember correctly, Nastya. She was in their backup dancers, and she was also okay, like, a friend of one of the girls. I don't remember which one, maybe Yulia. And she was also then in >> I'm Dasha, Lera there. Well, in the group, yes, yes, but honestly, I don't remember. Well, it's probably not important. And Veronika Luкyanova was also there. She also starred with me in the school. She was my younger sister in the plot. She's also an actress. And she, apparently, also pursued the idea of acting in Moscow. Therefore, that was the reason why she was there. And some other people I don't know. And when I started posting all this and so on, they contacted me through direct messages, and we met to talk. And there was some young man present who said that I needed to leave urgently after everything I had posted, where I had been and so on. Because, like, for me and for the girls, it wouldn't work out in my case, through Romania, if I remember correctly, they wanted to. And I took a plane with my last money that I had left, which I hadn't spent. By the way, Dzharakhov gave it to me for New Year's, I think, in an envelope. So they were in currency and lay there. So. And with this, I bought suitcases, tickets, which cost an insane amount. I had two options. The sky was already closed. It was either Dubai or Turkey. And, naturally, I could only afford Turkey. And even that, and the tickets were. >> We are talking about Moscow now, >> yes? >> Yes, there wasn't, like, yes, only there or there. And everyone rushed, prices went up, flights are gone, nothing is there. Some kind of, uh, that is, in Moscow itself, it's quiet, but in this world where you need to escape and so on, it's just a mess. And I managed to grab one of the last tickets, if I remember correctly, 300-400,000 rubles without luggage, which I also bought additionally and not a small amount. And with this, I somehow fit my, like, almost 2 years of life into this story and leave. I left the apartment to Zhenya to rent out, to the guys, so that they, well, well, I didn't have any emergency funds. Everything, I had to leave. And this is not because they got information on me and so on. I would have left anyway. What are you talking about? It's not me, I couldn't. I might, I, you know, sometimes I say, [ __ ] it's so cool to be, probably, a [ __ ]. Well, like, without an opinion, without these beliefs, without a soul. They probably live easier. I can't, I couldn't. I just couldn't. I had no choice. And that's why I flew away. I flew away through Turkey. And, you know, I felt when I was at the border, you're still in Moscow, even when the war hadn't started yet, you're still under fire. You're still looking around, behaving carefully. You feel strange all this time there. You don't feel any freedom at all, in anything. And when I was going through passport control to be allowed to the gate in Russia, I remember how I was worried that they would let me through with my Ukrainian passport, the war. And he says: "What are you [ __ ] with, huh? Like, you're leaving? What, you're leaving?" And I'm like: "Well, like, tourism, tourism. Ugh." And and this, you know, into the void, with nothing, without money, without anything. And then when he lets you through, it's like a weight off my shoulders. And I realized that, apparently, it's better to be like this now, nowhere, with nothing, and not understandably, than here with money. And at that moment I understood it. At that moment, you don't realize it, because money is flowing like a river. And you get hooked on this needle. And I had wanted to for a long time, you know, I planned to stay there for a year, and then fly away. She stayed and stayed because the money was good. Such foolishness. Not to save anything. It's complete nonsense. >> Tell us about the rallies you went to. Why am I asking this? Because now there is information spreading on TikTok that now, well, it's clear, 2026, that on March 29th, rallies are planned in Moscow. All because the internet is being turned off in Moscow, in the regions, and so on. Uh, well, my opinion is that it won't end in anything, that nothing will happen, but you were at such rallies back in 2022. Tell us what was there, what was the atmosphere like, how charged were people to do something, clashes with law enforcement officers. >> Listen, for the most part, it's just some kind of survival, when you come, that is, you essentially walk with these people in a huge bunch through the whole city. That's how it happens with posters, like, with this "no to war." Well, in my experience, I'm telling you, "no to war," "no to war." And at some point, when you get closer to the center, there are already these vans, you run into a bunch of special forces or OMON officers, as it's called correctly. And they have someone to beat. They just don't care. Women, children, they don't care. And it's such, well, we ran, we ran from them. I was miraculously not caught, in the sense of not being beaten, not beaten, because someone came out, opened the door of an establishment, and we quickly ran in with the guys. And it turns out that he was running, essentially, as I understood, after me, uh, well, or after us. And it turns out that the one in front of me, a girl, got it. And we hid behind tables like this, a man who worked there hid us, and we watched like this, and we ordered, I remember, tea and just sat and were shocked by what was happening. It's, it's, well, it's not, well, at that moment I realized that I wouldn't solve anything. My voice, no matter how many followers I have, no matter what status I have, I don't solve anything. My biggest pain is when I started donating to Ukraine. Uh, but people, it was at the beginning of the war, but people didn't accept it, like. That is, I essentially had two reasons to start OnlyFans. Not even me. They didn't mention me. It was my parents and donations to Ukraine. Because I thought that I would solve a lot of things with this too. And my donations were not supported, they said, well, like, how do I even think that such things should not be publicized. Well, also like that. Then it turns out. You are, like, an internet personality, you need to talk about it, because people should follow you in this format, so that they rely on you as a good example, yes, okay. But I'm also just a person, and I also just think that such things, well, you don't do them, if it's from the heart, you just take it and do it, and that's it. And for the most part, I didn't publish a lot of things. And then one day I decided to listen to this second advice of mine, so that people would see that I, well, no, no, no, I'm not just sitting there, I don't know, on my ass, I'm trying to do something, and OnlyFans is also because of this. And they wrote all sorts of nonsense to me, that may my rocket explode, that it's dirty money, that we don't need all this, shove it up your ass. No support even from this. And it really, well, closed me off, that even like this, it doesn't work. >> Did your circle of Russian bloggers, Russian media people, say something like, Liza, well, be quiet about Ukraine, sit down, don't stick your neck out, you'll earn money, you won't have problems. Well, that was Dzharakhov once, when I was still in Moscow, when we were on a call, he told me that if I intended to stay in Moscow and continue this, well, like, my business in this sphere, to not lose clients and blah-blah-blah, then I needed to, like, shut my mouth and behave quietly. Well, of course not. And I wasn't planning to stay. I don't know what he was thinking. That is, it was a moment when we were no longer communicating. It was just a call and a message out of nowhere. With, like, separate advice. >> Tikvin, right? >> Well, I remember that, yes, but it was specifically for a conversation, yes. Well, I think so. I don't remember anyone else. >> Who do you think will be the next president of Ukraine? >> I don't think about it. Well, honestly, I don't think about it. Yes, God willing, everyone will just survive somehow. >> What should he be like? This is from a military perspective. >> Well, I saw in the news that Usyk wants to be president. Didn't you see? Yes, I saw. >> Well, I don't know how to explain it to you. I, I swear, there are two topics I never talk about. That's faith and politics, because, first of all, I don't understand much about it, honestly. Because of the war, I had to understand at least something, I'll honestly admit. And there's just my opinion, which I don't want to impose on anyone, but regarding the president, I swear, I haven't even thought about it. There are no options. Why not Zelensky? Ah, and why shouldn't he be president further? >> I have a few questions here about the legalization of marijuana. You said you used it before. About legalization, about the industry, are you involved in this? It's clear that it's a separate segment, but still, do you have any ideas about what we need to introduce at the legislative level to protect the rights of certain groups of people? For example, the legalization of marijuana. >> First of all, this is new information for me. I didn't know, like, medical CBD. >> Well, CBD, I think it's already legalized. I'm asking about recreational THC. >> Yes, >> I don't even know if it would be good or bad for the country. For example, I was in Amsterdam, and there are all sorts of things lying around, it's dirty, like, everything. I didn't like it because of that. That is, tourists are surrendered. Well, it seems to me, it seems to me. I'm not defending it, just >> listen, I don't know. Hmm. Well, it's not going to be 100% good if it's like this. There will always be its own quirks everywhere. It's hard for me to answer. I probably shouldn't manage a country. >> Let's move on. Let's go. I don't know, I just don't want to, you know, make something up right now. Nothing comes to mind. >> You work in the OnlyFans industry. I've always been interested in how it happens, like, first naked photoshoots, new photoshoots, don't you feel awkward about it, doubts? For example, I can't imagine. Vika Bakalova once, Vika, hello, offered me a photoshoot in underwear, her boyfriend Rostik, I don't remember, I don't remember what it was for. It was a challenge for a vlog. I said, "Let's make a vlog." She said, "Let's do this." I said, "No, I'm shy, although I do sports, I look good by my standards, but I wouldn't go." And here you have to >> ed. What were your feelings during this process? >> Well, it was very difficult at first, when I just started, it turns out that this is not my niche at all. Like, I never pursued the idea, and it's not from a happy life, and there's no money at all, and you just have to survive, and generally [ __ ] And and you're just thrown into the world, into the unknown somewhere. Well, and no, I tried other jobs. I tried being a courier, I tried being a waitress, and an administrator of a salon. Just when I moved because of the war, right at the beginning, after Turkey, I ended up in the Czech Republic and lived there for a year with a friend and her husband. It was in Poland, Czech Republic, there was absolutely no overcrowding. Well, even for the most basic courier, the cheapest positions, there was no place, like, absolutely no place. The only thing I did was with Christinka. This is that girl, a friend. We helped receive refugees, from trains, and help them at the station, in the Czech Republic, in Prague, sort them by location, where they need to go, like, because she went, and I went with her too. And then, yes, the idea of OnlyFans appeared, and Christinka is also a photographer. And somehow it turned out well that she helped. But, and how I relate to it, well, it was very difficult at first, of course, like, it turns out that this is a completely new life, new circumstances, new realities. This is something I never did and didn't want to do. It was a forced measure, honestly. And, but when it started, even not considering the hate, good sums were coming into the balance, and I was able to travel around Europe by car with other girls who had left Ukraine, and they had a car, to see where we could stay and live. I had the opportunity, well, to rent apartments, to buy food again, some clothes, because I was wearing the same thing as you. And, you know, OnlyFans really saved me. Then I started seeing positive moments in it, which characterize the fact that I became freer, I became more uninhibited, I stopped being afraid to be who I am. Because I had a lot of complexes about my figure, about my small breasts, and such things. And this platform simply helped me to be who I am. and after it, to become a new person again, because this is also a newly acquired thing in my life, which influenced the outcome of what I have achieved today. >> They say and think, and there's such a stereotype that for guys, easy, quick money is, again, call centers. We mentioned this. For girls, it's either that or not? Short answer. Refute or talk about the downsides, that it's not all so straightforward. >> Listen, probably today it is, probably. Well, I think so, like, when I started in 2022, it was something very new, especially in Ukraine. Like, I was one of the first, and therefore it was such a resonance, like, and such a buzz. When I started OnlyFans again now, it's no longer considered something innovative. Uh, now every second girl has OnlyFans. And even if we look at how people react to it, they're like, "Ah, okay. But before it was like, oh, OnlyFans." Therefore, I think we have passed the Overton window. This is when something new becomes commonplace and something even newer appears that becomes, like, wildness. Therefore, we are just moving in a circle like this. Therefore, I think that it is approximately like this. >> What content can I buy from you on OnlyFans? Were there any strange requests? I know there's such a thing as custom orders, where they say: "Do this, this, this, for this much money." >> I haven't encountered that, honestly. Mine is all quite calm and cute. That is, I uh, well, photos-videos, uh, lower, let's say, I don't show, I only show my breasts. Uh, so >> mercifully. >> Well, so for me, it still remains at the level of aesthetics and at the level of what I like in the end. That is, if it leaks somewhere, gets leaked, I won't be ashamed. Yes, I'm like this, I'm so glad it got out for free. >> How do your parents feel about this? >> They support me. Yes. My mom, who started it for the second time, wrote that she supports me. If she were my age, like, if there was OnlyFans then, I would have enjoyed it too, earned some money. Yes, my mom is cool, my dad is cool. Listen, what else do you need today to be supported, loved? >> How much do models earn on average, who don't have your media background, again, I want to highlight some downsides. You're like, well >> no, of course, there are downsides [ __ ] No, well, like, there, well, I just haven't encountered them yet. >> The thing is, if a girl is not famous and starts, she has the potential, you know, >> you know, as they say, you can steal money, or you can steal a little and still go to jail. And it's better not to do it at all. Huge media people earn 2 kopecks, get leaked, lose reputation, problems with friends, and they don't get any profit from it, and they get problems, including psychological ones. There are no such stories for me, there are no strangers who have encountered this. And moreover, in this industry, I actually don't know anyone yet. >> Still, on average, how much do girls earn, or do you not know in your circle? >> Yes, well, definitely, the amounts are different, like, it could be, I don't know, 10,000 a month, and it could be 50. Or it could be over a year, like, a million. Well, I don't know. There's a girl, Maligoshik, Yana Gordienko's project, but she definitely earns a lot. She, [ __ ], bought herself a castle >> in America, yes. >> So, well, it depends on how you work, how lucky you are. It's also such a phenomenon that you need to be in the right place at the right time, so yes, well, all that's left is to sew and then see how it goes. >> How many sexual partners have you had? >> It was definitely less than ten. Ah, but serious relationships were with eight. Like, look, for me, a serious relationship is more than a year. Mostly, there were only four people. But if we take everyone with whom I tried to create a relationship and it didn't work out, then there were 2 months, and a month, like, and so on, just in different periods of life. And generally, about eight people, well, I don't know, 10 with whom I tried, like, friends with benefits, when I tried this story, when, how to say, they started cheating on me. I thought: "Probably, there's nothing wrong with sex, and I should try friends with benefits." But I didn't understand how it is without feelings. I didn't understand at all. Like, I don't understand how it is. I don't even get wet, so it's not my story. I need to love, to feel. Then, like, I want to, I would, honestly, [ __ ]. Well, honestly, I'll admit to you, >> I would also [ __ ]. >> And I don't want to. So, no, well, you men are generally different. You have two heads, generally. >> Uh-huh. >> Well, >> who's shooting? >> What kind of mountain snake is this? Was there a woman in the end or not? >> No, there wasn't. There wasn't. with a girl. I'm still pursuing this idea, fantastically. Just if the situation arises, I would try, but I'm burning with this idea. No, like, no, I still like men. >> Have you been to any sex parties? >> No, no, no, what are you talking about? No, in no case. >> Group sex. >> No, what are you talking about? >> Uh-huh. >> No, no, even the basic bed, like, under the blankets, like, I don't know, maximum three positions, like. No, I'm very modest in this regard. I'm not into extreme stuff. I only recently >> old believer, old believer. >> old believer. Understand. >> I only recently bought a vibrator. A regular pink one. >> Liza, can you give something as a gift? >> To you? >> Not to me, but to subscribers for comments, or something else. We didn't bring gifts. Is this, like, "Field of Miracles"? >> Yes, you can't watch that anymore. >> And I don't watch it. This is my childhood. >> Yes. Do you want to give something as a gift for comments, I don't know, send some surprise from yourself, something to subscribers, if you want. If not. >> And how do you send a surprise? >> Just we choose the best comments among the comments. You write: "You won, the girl writes to you, and I give away various gifts." I'll give from myself. Let's. >> And how do you choose? Like >> you can choose yourself. >> No, well, maybe you'll come up with something. I'd send something from Nova Poshta to someone. Maybe some little thing. Maybe while I'm still living in London, something from London. Super chic souvenir from London. Friends, I'll give away from myself too, two comments for 250 each, I'll send to the card as always. You can check who won in previous episodes on my YouTube channel in the "Posts" section, just every episode, who won, how much we sent, you can see and check all this. This is for your activity. I understand that you will spend time analyzing, possibly rewatching something to write a comment, but for us, this is important. So, watch, there will be three winners. What do you need to do? Subscribe to the channel, like this video, write a comment of at least seven words. I will choose two winners and write that you have won. Write to me. Liza will choose one winner herself. And I will also write that you have won. Write to Liza. There will be three winners. I hope you enjoyed this episode. We tried, we arranged with Liza. For those who >> don't know, for three years I've been writing to my friend, >> yes, your friend. For years, when I was just starting my YouTube channel, in the end of 2023, I started actively posting. In 2024, I think, I wrote, and it's cool. Finally, we agreed, I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you. Subscribe to the channel, like, send this video to your friends, write comments, and see you soon. >> Thank you for inviting me. Ah.

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Ліза Василенко: Моргенштерн хотів йти на Путіна, Дуров - проти одруження, діабет, 24 лютого у Москві

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