Transcription
Five things I expect as a woman over 50. When a man takes me out.
Number one, you take me out. You ask me out. You pick me up. I'm not coming to you. You come to my door. You're knocking on my door.
Number two, you're paying. I am worth it. I can afford myself. If I wanted to go out by myself, I could afford it. If you're taking me out, you're paying the bill. There's no splitting the bill.
Number three. Number three. I don't give a [ __ ] if your mama, your wife, your whatever, if that's your own business. Stay out of it, keep it out of my business. If I'm going out with you, I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear about how bad someone is to you. I don't give a [ __ ].
And number four, you stay out of my business and we'll be just fine. I'm grown. I spit four children out of my stomach. They were cut out. Raised them to adulthood. I can handle myself and you.
>> 50-year-old woman with four kids laying down conditions just to go out. What a catch. As if men were going to treat you the same way they treat a younger woman. She's lucky if someone even invites her out for coffee. But the 50-year-old women you're about to see in this video aren't so lucky because the wall came for them. Don't.
So, here's the thing about dating after 60 that nobody tells you. It's hard and you're probably going to get your heart broken a few times. But that's okay. We're in it for the long run. We're hoping to find that true love, that last true love. And if we can just stay patient and hang in there, hopefully it's coming. But ladies, don't ever, ever settle for breadcrumbs. We deserve the whole loaf. Keep going and just know I'm here to support you.
>> Is dating in your 50s really that [ __ ] bad? I just got off the phone with my friend and she's like, "I'm done. I stopped dating 3 years ago. You didn't get the memo?" Like, "No, no, no. I'm done. I'm better off alone. I have my job. I'm financially secure. I have my house. My my only child is an adult. And I I'm healthy. I I don't need problems in my life." And she's like, everyone's story is different, but dating out here for women my age, you look you you find men that are older by 10, 12, 13 years. They're in their late 60s, maybe early 70s, and they're looking for a nurse. They're ready to settle down at that age. You know, and if you find a man that's 55, semi-goodlooking, has a good job, is financially secure, he doesn't want your ass. He wants a young one, 22, 23. And I'm like, no, not that young. And she's like, Jasmine, Bill Bellich is 74. His girlfriend's 24. That's how it is. It's slim pickings. Or you got guys out here who, you know, they're trying to move in with you because you got a house. I'm better off alone. I got my friends. I got my activities. I I'm not cleaning anyone's ass. No.
So, it made me think cuz this is not the first time I have a conversation like this. This is like my third conversation. Third conversation with three different friends around the same age. One is 50, one is 55, and one is 56. And they're all like, "No, I'm better off alone."
>> And what were they expecting? A 55-year-old millionaire to whisk a 50-year-old woman away on luxury trips? Ma'am, at that age, you're closer to the grave than to a wedding ring. At the end of the day, a 55 or 60-year-old man who's financially stable and takes care of himself can attract a woman in her 40s or even younger who wants to be with him. That's the reality of the dating market. A 50-year-old woman isn't in a position to make demands like she's 25. At that stage, many are thinking about retirement, stability, and not becoming a burden on their children. And no, not every woman reaches 50 in bad shape. There are plenty who are stable and well established. But it's not realistic to think the dating market works the same way it did 25 years ago.
>> Oh my goodness. The reply to um dating in your 50s and 60s was really interesting. Um, I had so many people say that they were tired of the apps or they were using the apps and I'm curious what apps people our age are using. I when I came back on the dating scene like I'm a fan of e-harmony. I think because you have to make the investment. I think people are more serious on there about dating. It's not just a free app. Um, and I was thinking about it today. It's really interesting that every person that I've gone on a date with from there has been a business owner and I'm a business owner and it's just kind of funny to me that you know that you answer all those questions and they do like they do match like with like. So, um, yeah, like when I've been single, I've gone on it and I'm a like the second you meet someone or whatever. Like, we don't even have to finish the drink, I know it's either a thing or it's not going to be a thing. And I'm not a sport dator. So, I'm usually I'm single or I'm in a relationship. There's no gray area. Um, but I my daughter put me on Hinge. I think that's what it was. um for like I didn't like it at all. She and I would sit there and like drink wine and swipe or whatever and I was like, this just I don't like this at all. But I do love e-harmony and I have turned on um several people to it that have been successful on it. And I think it's because like I said, I think it's like-minded people. You're not just looking for a hookup. You're really looking for something more. But anyway, what apps did you use and have you tried e-harmony? Let me know.
>> Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
>> Ma'am, the problem is that you're always looking for the top tier guy. When you listen to these women, you never hear them say, "I want a hardworking man, loving, kind, someone who treats me with respect, who's family oriented." None of that. It's always about money. Notice how she said she wants a business owner. Why is it always about financial status? And then you get upset when a financially stable man decides to go after a younger woman.
Here are three more tips for dating when you're older.
Number one, don't talk about your ailments. Don't talk about your flatulence. I mean, you know, just maybe avoid the chickpeas and the lentils and the pulses because I don't care how much you think they're not going to affect you, they do. And sometimes it's really hard to hold in that fart. But, you know, I think on a date, just avoid those foods, but don't talk about other things. Don't talk about, you know, your pains and your aches and all the other things that you might want to talk about with a girlfriend.
Number two, when you're going on a first date, go to somewhere that's really fun where a lot of younger people go. You don't have to go to the bowls club or to a bingo hall to have a good time. You want to go somewhere a bit trendy. Doesn't have to have white tablecloths. You want to go somewhere where everyone is having a bit of a buzz and fun. And that way, you'll be buzzy and funny. And that's very important because you'll feel the vibe and soak it up.
Number three, maybe change your mindset as to what you think a relationship should be like at your age. Because quite frankly, does it have to be conventional? I think when I first started dating, I was looking to maybe marry again, have a full-time relationship, but I don't think I want that anymore. I would like to be free, but also have a part-time relationship, someone I can see, go out with, and have fun and always have that excitement of not seeing them every day of the week. Do I want to be washing socks every night of the week? No way. No way. Follow me for more tips.
>> Oh, hell no.
>> A 60-year-old woman wanting to live out a teenage style romance. Just when you think you've seen it all. The truth is, men have an evolutionary advantage. If you take care of yourself and you have wealth and assets, you can easily date a woman 10 years younger than you. Right now, there's a huge market of single women in their mid-30s to early 40s who would be happy to date a man between 45 and 60 as long as he's in good shape and financially stable. And at that age, you don't have to take the risk of getting married. You can protect your money and your assets and enjoy your later years with peace of mind. You can even move abroad where your money goes further and live a more relaxed life with a younger woman.
>> Women. So all you men in your 40s, 50s, 60s, none of you want to date a 50-year-old hormonal menopausal woman and you've got the option that you can have a 30-year-old as opposed to a 53-year-old like me. Men have the option to go for a younger woman. You know, if you're a 50-year-old man and a 32-year-old woman pays you attention, wow, big ego boost. And who wouldn't? Fair play to you. But for me, as a 53-year-old woman, if a 32-year-old man paid me attention, you know, it'd be frowned upon, wouldn't it? You imagine me going out with a 32-year-old man, old enough to be his mom. There was a survey done, I don't know, however many men they asked, and 80% of them in their 50s said that they prefer younger women in their 30s, their early 40s. What chance do I stand? So, we've got a very small window of the opposite sex, whereas you men have a big. I'm not talking about that. A big window. You can go for any age really. Not that young though. But there are a lot of younger men who say, "Oh, yeah, they like an older woman because they know what they want." But do they actually want to spend the rest of their life with this older woman? No, they want the fun in the bedroom, don't they? Well, that's the way I see it. So, that's my opinion on why I think men have a bigger dating pool than a woman does of the same age. I might be wrong, but just my opinion.
>> Ma'am, you've hit the wall, and the wall doesn't forgive. You can't expect a man in his 50s who has probably already been through a divorce to spend his later years looking for another woman his own age to start over from scratch. When that man turns 60, we all know that on average, men don't live as long as women. The last 10 or 15 years he has left aren't years he'll want to spend with someone who could become a medical and financial burden. Let's be realistic. A man who has the means to travel, go out and be with a woman in her 40s is going to do it. He wants to enjoy the time he has left with energy, peace of mind, and less risk.
I saw this video on dating after 60. And somebody was talking about the fact that only 6% of men want someone who is five or more years younger. Only 8% of men only want sex. And the takeaway from the whole thing was that everybody wants the same thing. Trust, companionship, a best friend, someone to go through life with. But for me, and I'm not an expert. I've been through two marriages, um, a number of short and long-term failed relationships. My only claim to expertise here is just having been alive for a while. To me, the question that needs to be asked is, what are you bringing into it? What, and I don't want to say baggage, what history? And what history are you willing to deal with in another human being? I married somebody who had two kids and I had none. And it was hard being a stepmom, especially not being having had any parenthood experience and having had a rather fraught relationship with my own dad. It was very weird to watch the father-child dynamics that were going on there. The really loving ones were painful for me because I didn't have that. And the real I don't want to say toxic, but the the less healthy ones were difficult, too, because I wanted to step in and say, "Hey, you know, you might want to try something a little bit different here." But I I really tried hard not to. And now I'm dating somebody who's a widower. And I'm a widow, too. And that's not easy either. I started dating my guy 6 months after his wife passed. And it's not easy to walk into a house that someone that you care about shared with somebody else and to see all the momentos of a life that was lived prior to me and really wondering, well, you know, you don't want to compare yourself, but but you do. So, I guess what I'm saying is the real question when dating after 60 isn't what you want, because we all want some of those same things, but what level of difficulty, what challenges are you willing to deal with based on the baggage that you're bringing into it, the history you're bringing into it, and the history they're bringing into it. That to me is the crux of of where it all lies, because it's all going to require some level of effort. We didn't get it out of our childhood trauma-free. Who here had a fairy tale childhood? Particularly people in our generation. So you tack 40 more years onto that of lived experience and really it's what you're willing to deal with and what they're willing to deal with in the history. It's easy to say what we do want. It's harder to say what we won't deal with.
This woman is self-aware. Notice she didn't go after some high status guy. She chose an average man. He doesn't have kids. She stepped into the role of stepmother and she married a widower. I like her perspective because she's realistic. I personally know a guy who already owns several properties here, made good money, and retired at 50. And what did he do? He moved to China. There he met a 38-year-old woman. Traditional, no kids. They've been together about 3 years now, living their best life. And if you've never been to China, I highly recommend it. It's incredible. My friend lives there, goes out with his wife, and enjoys a whole new adventure. He only comes back here for business, handles what he needs to handle, and then returns. He's living the best chapter of his life. If you're in a good place in your life, and you have the ability to travel, you'll realize there are plenty of women within reach who may even treat you better than a western woman.
>> Keep in mind, from age 45 to 60, single women outnumber single men 25 to 1. The pickings are plentiful for men. I'm just going to go ahead and speak on behalf of all the women who have done the work, the therapy, have learned to love themselves and value themselves. We don't give a [ __ ]. We don't give a [ __ ] flying [ __ ]. We would rather be alone in our peace with our girlfriends living our best life than lower our standards to have a man in our life who is an abusive [ __ ]. Ma'am, men aren't out here looking for older women, especially western older women who seem more focused on the next divorce than on building something lasting. That's why the Passport Bro movement has been gaining so much traction lately. For many men, it's simply easier to find a traditional woman, someone who takes care of the home and stands by you. Outside this country. You can live abroad, come back to the United States only for business or work and spend the rest of the year overseas. Believe me, a lot of men are already doing it. I already told you about my friend. He's happily living with his wife in China. If you want to live your life differently, there's Latin America, the Pacific region, even countries like Kazakhstan with different cultures and attractive women. American men are traveling and building relationships there. What I'm saying, brothers, is that there's life beyond this country. If you're already in your retirement years, your final chapter doesn't have to be a bad one.
We've reached the end of the video. But before we go, here are a few questions for you. If there are more single women than men between the ages of 45 and 60, who really has more room to choose? Is it realistic to maintain the same standards at 50 that you had at 30? If you enjoyed the video, hit like, subscribe to the channel, and turn on notifications. Your support means a lot to us and motivates us to keep creating more content. Stay tuned for the next episode of The Wall.