Transcription
Is anyone going to explain to me why we are friends with people that make us feel drained? Why are we friends with people that gossip about us? Why are we friends with people who we are constantly giving to and we're not receiving anything back? Why? No, no, tell me why?
Because if you think that you're constantly trying to uplift your friend, trying to help them, and they don't want, they don't want, they don't want your help; they constantly just come to complain about their situation, and you're trying to uplift them—where do you think you're going? Huh? You're not going anywhere, honey. Nowhere, literally. Why do you guys choose stress in life, huh? Like, imagine coming home to your apartment and you're stressed by the other person that's living with you. You are not going to stress me out in my own place, honey. And as a friend, you are not going to stress me out whenever I want to do something fun and you're just this negative energy around me.
Oh, no, guys. My name is Liz, and welcome back to my channel. Okay, so in this video, I am going to tell you the signs of a bad friend, of a toxic person. First things first, listen to me: bad friends are not honest with you. Okay, I—I was at a restaurant, right, um, and I saw this girl coming in and she had makeup on, but the makeup was done so badly. Like, she was as white as me, but she had orange makeup on, and you really saw that she tried to look good, right? This girl walks around, I swear, like everybody's laughing at her, and I felt truly so bad for her that I wanted to go up and say, "Hey, listen. Maybe it's like, you know, not your shade. I don't know." Like, I wanted to help her in some way, you know. So like, I felt bad for her, but her friend next to her—I just want to say something—why would you let your friend walk out like that? Like, why? I am the kind of person: if I'm friends with someone and my friends are like that too, if something is ugly about me or I don't look good, or my dress doesn't look good to me—oh, you best believe they will tell me, you know—and I don't take it as harsh or anything because I know my friends want to help me and they want the best for me, you know. Um, so I think a true friend should be honest with you. If—if—if there's something about you that doesn't look good, they can say, "Hey, listen, maybe you should fix this." Same way, if they ask about, um, a relationship, whatever, and then you see they're really struggling, they—they're not valuing themselves. I am the kind of person—you know, I have this one friend—she literally calls me; she's like, "Liz, I need your honest advice. This is the situation; I need you to talk to me, talk some sense into me." I go, she tells me, and I tell her, "You are an idiot. Yeah, an idiot, and you don't see your worth." Because you know what? I get upset when people do not see their worth when they get treated like [ __ ] and they still stay in that same situation and they still think that, "Oh, no, maybe it's different." No, it's not different. Okay? If somebody does not respect you, they don't respect you. That's it. And you can see through their actions.
Another thing is they always come to you for advice, but when you need someone, they're not there. Okay, so, uh, I want you guys to write your number down in the comments, yeah, because I want a free therapist, honestly, because that's what you are—just a free therapist. Like, what are you doing? What are you doing? And then you say like, "Oh my God, I feel so drained after I meet up with her." Yeah, of course you do. Of course you do, baby, because she basically, or he basically, dumps all this trauma onto you, dumps all this [ __ ] [ __ ], and then you're left there with like, "Oh, you have to pick up the pieces; you have to heal them," and then you're left broken. It's not nice to like constantly sit and hear somebody complain about themselves. But what about you? Huh? What about you? Who's listening to you?
Other thing is they don't see you as a friend; they see you as competition. Listen, I had this—actually, I've had this with almost all my friends. Whenever they become my friends, they do every single thing to try to look like me: color, same hair, like even the eyebrows, they color it darker, even get plastic surgery to look like me. This is honestly true; it happens, and I never see it as that, but my mom always says like, "Liz, they—they're not trying to be your friend; they're trying to like do whatever you're doing so they look like you," you know. Um, this is creepy. You have to realize: does this friend want to be my friend or do they want to be me? I had this one girl; she literally completely transformed herself into me. She would even go as far to like date the people that wanted me. So like, whenever she found out that that person was interested in me, she would try to date them. Listen, the people that want to be you, yeah, they will try to date your boyfriend; they will try to date your ex, whatever, to come as close as they can. They will try to get friends with your friends just to be as close as they can to you, but the issue is they can never be you because as much as you try, as much as you change, honey, the energy, the soul is never the same. You will never be that person. Insecure people that try to be someone else are dangerous. I'm telling you, these friends are dangerous.
Another thing is they constantly spread rumors about other people. Listen to me: how are you friends with these people? Like, literally, how are you guys friends with people that spread rumors about other people? Like, they know it's not true; they know it's going to hurt families; they know it's going to hurt the person. Even these—these kind of things can lead to death. They—you—you're literally murdering someone. How are you guys friends with such a negative vibe? And I'm telling you, if you think that that person that's spreading rumors about others will not do the same to you, honey, you are mistaken. You are mistaken, and you're in for a big, big—right? I am telling you right now, if you have a person—no one in my circle literally spreads rumors about anyone. Like, do we gossip and stuff? Yeah, of course. Gossip is normal. If—if anyone would say, "I never gossip," that's not true; you're lying. You know, gossip is normal; you hear things, whatever. Okay, yeah, but nobody will be that like soulless, like heartless, to create something about someone or to leak something or—or to betray them in some—that's disgusting. Disgusting. And how are you guys friends with them, literally? And I'm telling you, you engage in this tomorrow; it will be you. And when it's you, honey, it's not funny. When it's other—when it's other people that break—break down, when families are being torn apart because of you, when things are happening, it's all fun and games, but honey, when the roles get reversed and it's you, it's not funny anymore. And believe me, God sees everything; you will get back what you give out as well.
These are the same people that will reveal your secrets; they will spread your things around. What would you do in this situation? Do not tell them anything about yourself personally; keep it very like, you know, on this level. Do not go deep. Why? Anything you say can and will be used against you with people like that. These are snakes. People like that are nobody's friend. People like that, they will betray their own family; they are dangerous. Another thing is they bring your mood down. Imagine you're like very excited, you're so happy, you like—and you meet up with them, and they're immediately like, "Why are you so happy?" Like, they always find something to ruin your mood and to bring your down—to bring you down to their level. So that's why I'm saying: hang around with people that you want to be like. Do not hang around with low-life, dumb people, literally, because they are going to always bring you down to their level. Misery loves company. Okay? They're miserable; they want you to be miserable. Or like, is the same way: like you accomplish something, you're so happy; you're like, "Oh my God, like I—I graduated. Oh my God, I did this. Oh my God, I—I uh started my business," whatever. Then I—okay, but you're not all that. Humble yourself, honey. Humble for who? For you? Who are you? Who are you exactly? With these people, I would say keep the contact as limited as possible; like, do not engage too much with them. Try to stay away and try, in the meantime, to look for friends that you actually value, that you want to be like. Hang around people you want to be like. If you hang around losers constantly, you'll be a loser. You know that.
That is common. That is normal. Thing is they don't respect your boundaries at all. Like, literally, these are the kind of people you will say like, "Hey, listen, uh, I don't really like it when you do this to me, or I don't really like appreciate it when you treat me like this." They'll be like, "You are sensitive. Oh my God, like you're so dramatic." But watch when you do the same thing to them. Oh, no, then it's not drama; then it's very, very sad for them and so bad what you did. So that's why: set boundaries with these people and be firm about them. You don't like something, okay? When they cross that boundary, you say—say, "Hey, I didn't like that, and I told you I didn't like that, so you know what? I'm not going to talk to you anymore because you keep doing it." Until they change, you don't give them that chance again to do it again to you, you know? Because if they see that you're not serious about your boundaries, how are they going to take it seriously? You don't even take yourself seriously; how are they going to take it seriously?
Other thing is they never suggest to pay for anything. Listen, I am a very generous person with my female friends. I always like, if they want to come down here in the country where I live, I will pay for the flight; I will pay for them like for everything—like their stay, everything. I don't mind paying for dinner. I just dislike it when I am constantly the one giving, and it's not even suggested like, "Hey, should we split?" You know? I had this one friend, and I'm constantly like paying for every single thing, every single time, and I don't mind, but then after like the eighth time, I'm like, "Okay, listen, am I being used here?" It's not normal. I think, especially like between females, I think there should be splits, and I learned that now. So now with all my friends, I'm like, "Okay, let's split," you know, um, because that's easier. For this, I would suggest next time when you go somewhere, tell them—suggest already like, "Hey, um, make sure you get your wallet with you, or make sure you have money 'cause we're going here," you know. Make sure they know they will have to pay. Okay? So if they're constantly like, "Oh, you have—have a car; can you drive me here? Can you do that?" Uh, constantly like asking favors for everything or like, "You have an apartment; oh, can I stay at yours?" Whatever. Stop doing that because people are using you, you know? There—there—there will come a point where you realize like, "Why am I doing so much for this person, and what am I getting out of it?" Literally nothing.
They always come to you with like, "Oh my God, they said this about you. Oh my God, I was here, and I—I heard them saying this about you," whatever. Honey, why did they say it in front of you? Huh? Why were these people so comfortable to talk in front of you about your friend? Tell me. Tell me how that is normal. I know one thing for a fact: no one will ever talk to me about my friends, about my family, no one, because I respect them, and they know I respect them, and it's not done. Like the minute they do, I will literally like be like, "Oh, no, no, honey, this is not happening," 'cause I will defend them, and they will never even—there to bring up the first letter of their name. But with you, oh, everybody seems to be comfortable. "Oh my God, they said this about me." Really? Why did they say that to you? I'm telling you, if you have a friend that constantly comes to you, "Oh, they said this about you," whatever, she or he is literally talking the same way about you because ain't no way that somebody will feel comfortable enough to say that to a real friend. They are ashamed to be seen with you. Oh, they're ashamed to like—like tarnish their relationships; they're ashamed to like tarnish their reputation; they're ashamed to maybe even—they don't find you attractive enough to hang out with them. Lots of reasons. Um, listen, if anyone is ashamed to hang around with you, well then, F them, literally, because don't you dare to make anyone make you feel less than that. You are you. You do not deserve that. Okay? If they cannot see your value in you, then you—you should not go there, and you should not talk to these people. Stop giving these people your energy; they do not deserve you because you will start to feel like you're worthless because they—these people make you feel like you're worthless. Okay? But that's not the true reality. It's all because of their feelings and what they're projecting onto you that you start to feel like that about yourself, but that's not the reality, honey. That is not the reality. And don't you ever dare to make anyone feel ashamed to be around you. It's a blessing to hang around you. Okay? A blessing. I would say to this: do not take it personal. These people are dealing with their own stuff. These people probably have low self-esteem, low self-worth; they're jealous, whatever. It's not about you; it's more about them. If they had healed themselves from the inside, they would not behave like this. These are toxic people. It's not about you; it's about themselves. Okay? These people are most likely very unhappy, but that is none of your business. Your business is to make you happy, and your business is not to make everyone else around you—around you happy. Like, what are you, a little dumb-dum? I don't think so. I'm telling you, hang around the people you want to be like. Find these people; go anywhere you can meet people easily, you know? Stop giving anyone the benefit of the doubt like, "Oh, maybe they didn't mean it," whatever. Listen, if they disrespected you constantly, they meant it. Okay? You're just not willing to believe it, so stop being delusional. Start really like seeing your own worth and seeing like, "Hey, listen, I deserve to be—be treated better than this. I am a good friend, okay? So I deserve a good friend. I am a good lover and a good partner, so I deserve a good lover and a good partner, and you do. So stop letting people walk all over you. Have some backbone. Anyways, guys, I love you so much. My cheeks got completely red because of this ring light. Um, yeah, I can't do anything about that. Um, but I love you guys so much. Thank you so much for watching. I hope you learned something, and please do not disappoint me. Do not disappoint me. Okay? Love you guys.