15 Tiny Habits To Stop Overspending For Good

In this video, I want to share with you 15 tiny micro habits that you can start today that will help you stop impulse buying for good. Coming from someone who used to be a chronic overspender and pretty much full-blown shopaholic, since I've implemented these habits was when I started to see some real change with my money, my confidence, and myself. And today, I can proudly say that I am completely debt-free. So, I know these habits work.

And before you say anything, these are not going to be those run-of-the-mill financial habits that say, you know, like make your coffee at home and don't buy avocado toast, cancel your Netflix subscription. You've heard those enough by now, and they probably really haven't done much to help you fix your spending habits. Instead, I want to talk about the identity and mindset shifts that really get to the core of why you're spending.

Starting with the first step, identify the problem. You know, the truth is for me, I didn't stop overspending because I became some kind of budgeting super saiyan or because I suddenly started making more money to make my problems go away. I stopped overspending and impulse buying because I finally admitted to myself that I had a problem. And if I didn't do anything to change it now, then I was going to be broke and feeling like this forever. Because I think there's a moment in every habit shift where you basically just need to stop lying to yourself. And I know that there's a ton of reasons, especially right now, why you might be feeling broke, but I'm talking about more if you have a problem with overspending, emotional spending, and change that you can make that's in your control.

I had to admit mine back in 2019 when I bought a pair of boots that cost more than my rent at the time. And you know, I'm not against owning nice things, but when I bought these boots, I was also in the middle of chipping away at what felt like an impossible $120,000 of student loan debt. I lived in a big city with a high cost of living. And on top of all of that, I had a compulsive emotional spending habit. And you know, I knew I couldn't afford them. I knew I was broke. I knew I was stressing about money all the time. And despite all of that, I decided to keep them anyway. And it was in that moment, it was almost like a palpable feeling of self-sabotage. I knew exactly what I was doing at the time. That's when I realized that I needed to change. And even though that did suck and it was very embarrassing and I felt ashamed of myself at the time, it was kind of everything I needed to start changing because quite frankly, you can't begin to heal anything that you're pretending isn't broken.

Identifying the problem is a huge step, but it really is just the beginning. If you've ever tried to change a habit before, then you know how hard it is. Think about the last time that you tried to quit sugar. You might last maybe a couple of days, a week, but sooner or later, those cravings just start to hit where you can no longer say no to that cookie or that chocolate bar, and before you know it, you've eaten the entire box. And in that moment, I think we've all said to ourselves, I know that this isn't good for me, but why do I keep doing it? Why is it so hard to change? That's one of the main questions that I struggled with for a long time. And there's a really great quote I like to think about from Dr. Gabbor Mate. He is a physician and trauma specialist. He specializes in addiction. and he says, "Ask not why the addiction, but why the pain."

Overspending and impulse shopping might feel a little bit random, but I'd argue that it isn't really at all. It's usually a symptom of something deeper. I think we're really bored, overworked, anxious, and sometimes shopping feels like the only thing you have to look forward to. But if you're trying to change those habits, really think about what that spending and that shopping is doing for you. And think about if there's any negative feelings that you're trying to avoid when you do it.

Next is to consider what shopping does right for you. Because I find there's a reason that we always feel like we need to turn to it. We don't overspend because we're stupid, lazy, or bad with money. We do it because on so many levels, it actually works. It gives us a quick dopamine hit. It makes us feel better. And this is exactly the reason why quitting a bad habit is so hard because usually that bad habit, even though we know it has bad consequences, it feels good in the moment and it's doing something right for you. This doesn't mean it's good for you necessarily, but it does help explain why you keep doing it and why it's so hard to stop. Taking pause to reflect on this anytime I felt a little bit spendy or impulsive started giving me space to think about these little cues of the void I was basically trying to fill.

And once you know that, but you're still feeling like you really want something, the next habit is going to change your life. And that is delaying gratification. You have to learn to wait for it. And believe me, it is not as easy as you think. When I was first trying to pay off my debt and overcome my own emotional spending habit, it wasn't like some switch went off overnight where I just suddenly wanted to stop shopping all the time because uh no, it was my coping mechanism after all. But I did need to find some sustainable ways to help me detox from that habit or at least learn how to do it better. And one of the best habits that I built from this is just simply putting that thing on a wish list. You can simply write it down on your phone or even write it down on paper. I have a journal that does exactly this. It's called the minimalistish journal. You can get it anywhere you buy your books, but it's basically a step-by-step guide into building these habits and just building a better relationship with your shopping and your stuff. But I made sure to include a wish list in here so you can keep track of your wants, make a plan to buy it, and essentially practice the habit of delaying gratification before you decide to buy the thing. I'm super proud of it. It's available anywhere books are sold and if you want to support me and check it out, I'll leave it linked down below.

And the thing that the wish list does is it just gives you some space to breathe. It separates that initial wanting from the buying of the item. And the more you do this, the more you're going to build that habit. I can't tell you how many things that I would have bought in the moment that I ended up completely forgetting about simply because I just put my energy somewhere else.

And the other tiny habit that comes from this is if you do want to buy something, you kind of start to understand your money because what you do need to do and the habit that you need to build next is you need to make friends with your bank account because writing something on a wish list could force you to forget about it. But if you can't stop thinking about it, then it's going to force you to create your plan to buy it. Which means that you kind of have to start paying attention to your money. And I can tell you, I used to avoid looking at my bank account and doing anything with my finances like a bad ex. Let me tell you, I was the queen of buy now, worry about it later. I would always just wing it and just kind of live in this world of, oh, I can I think I can cover it. I just lived in this world of kind of where I just kind of knew where my money was going. I kind of thought I could cover it by the end of the month. If you want to change anything about your relationship with money, that is not the place to be.

But when I committed to getting out of debt, one of the biggest things I had to face was my money and how I was spending it. Which means I had to look at my bank account. And what I did at the beginning was I did a six-month spending analysis. I basically went back, I looked at all of my transactions, my debit, my credit cards, and just started to get a sense of where my money was going, and more importantly, why. And looking at your statements, let me tell you, is basically like leaving an emotional paper trail. Anytime I saw any kind of store or website on my statements, I knew I was probably shoving my feelings away at that moment. And in doing that initial spending analysis, it's going to help you build the foundation to write your first budget and learn how to track your spending. And this may seem boring and tedious, but it is the habit that was probably the most life-changing for me because it gives you such knowledge and understanding in real time of where your money is going. But the more you get to know your money, the more trust you're going to build with yourself. And you also get to see the progress that you're making.

Once you know that habit, the next tiny one to bring in every single day is to remind yourself of your why because you're not going to build or break any habit unless you have a good reason. And you need to remind yourself of that reason often. And it has to be good. What I've learned over the years is that it's really not enough to say things like, "Oh, I want to be debt-free." Or, "Oh, I want to save money." These are all good and noble things to want, but you have to dig deeper than that. You need to ask why you want that in the first place. I started thinking about what would life be like if my money was entirely my own. What would life be like if I didn't have to worry about money? What were the things I could do, the places I could go? How would I feel? Or maybe I could take bigger risks. Or maybe it's something like buying time so that you can invest in other hobbies and other interests. And when things get tempting and difficult, just saying, "I want to save money or I want to pay off debt." It really isn't enough. It's kind of like going to the gym and saying, "I want abs." like, are you really going to be willing to put in that work? It takes a lot of work and a lot of discipline to show that six-pack. And I think most people aren't willing to put in that work because the why isn't that deep.

And once you've built that strong enough why, you're going to be ready to take the next step, which is a shopping detox. You need to give yourself a chance to rebuild. This might be a bit of an unpopular strategy, but when I initially committed to becoming debt-free, I went on a complete no-buy, which basically means I slashed any spending from my budget that was not an absolute necessity. A lot of people don't like no-buys because they can feel very restrictive and it can feel like a binge-purge kind of cycle. It's like what do you do after you finish the challenge? It doesn't feel very sustainable. But I think when you do a no-buy with the right perspective and the right mindset, then you'll see that the whole point of it is not about deprivation. It's really just about interruption. And it doesn't have to be anything extreme. You can do it for a week, a month, or even just have a few no-spend days in your calendar. But whatever you decide to do, I think it's going to be a benefit if you do want to change your shopping habits. Because what this challenge does is it short-circuits your regular behavior pattern. And it helps you create space to see some benefits in your life without that habit. If you're not shopping and spending money, suddenly you're going to see your bank account go up. Maybe you'll find more time in your day because you're not spending your evenings going back to the mall to make returns or worrying about a package being stolen or worrying about a refund coming back on your credit card. So, I'm not saying that you need to do a no-buy for very long, but I do love to use them as a tool to basically give yourself a chance to see your life without that bad habit, but this is obviously very hard to do.

So, you're going to need to find ways to break the chain. Because, like I said, when I did my first no-buy, it's not like some switch went off and I was no longer, you know, tempted by everything around me. But what I did need to do is I needed to find something else to fill my time anytime those temptations did come up. And every time I felt that little bit of temptation, usually it was when I was scrolling on my phone, it really is that damn phone. I was able to practice the habit of noticing, checking in with myself, and basically forcing myself to do something else. I would do things just like get up and change my position. I would go put the dishes away. I'd maybe go organize my wardrobe, go for a walk, stretch. Anything to short-circuit that habit loop that I was so used to being in that would just be, I see it, I like it, I want it, just bought it. Because you can't just remove the habit. You have to replace it.

Which brings me into my next habit. And that is find a hobby. You got to find something to do. And you know what? For years, pretty much my only hobby was buying stuff. It gave me something to do. It gave me something to talk about. It gave me something to connect with people on. You know, think about it. Oh, where did you get that? Oh, that's so cute. I love your outfit. Oh, let's go shopping this weekend. What are you up to? But the way that I was shopping and spending money, it was far past the point of being wholesome and healthy. So, because I no longer had shopping to fill my time with, I had to find new interests. I had to find something else to do. That's when I started making YouTube videos and sharing my content. I learned how to make videos. I learned about production and video editing. I got into fitness. I spent a lot more time learning about money. I even learned things like how to style my own clothes and find my personal style. I just realized I was no longer using shopping as a personality trait. And without it, I really learned that I had more constructive ways to spend my time, more creative ways to spend my time. And that's something that I think you really need when you're trying to build new habits.

And before we get into the next habit, I just want to take a moment to thank the sponsor of today's video, Aura. I've worked with Aura many times on my channel, and if you haven't heard of them before, they are essentially an all-in-one app that focuses on wellness, meditation, and sleep. And I genuinely think that incorporating using Aura in your routine is actually going to really help complement a lot of the habits that we're talking about in this video today. Specifically, I've really enjoyed their cognitive behavioral therapy talks and their little kind of quicky mindfulness meditations. I like to be in and out in under 5 minutes or less, which is why I've curated my very own meditation playlist so that it's not too much of a time commitment, but I'm still building that habit. It's super easy to sign up and your experience will be completely customized to you because Aura gets you to take a quiz to help specify things that you want to focus on and the types of therapies and modalities that Aura can deliver. So, if you want to get started with Aura today, the first 500 people to click the link in the description below will get a free trial plus 25% off your Aura subscription. Thank you to Aura for supporting the channel. Now, let's get back into the habits.

Number 10 is to focus on what you have. There's a really great quote from the book Effortless by Greg Mchuan that I often come back to whenever I'm feeling down. And it goes, "When you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. And when you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack." I think a mandatory requirement for success is to focus on what you already have and less on what's missing. Because remember, don't ask why the addiction, ask why the pain. We often buy because we feel unsatisfied, FOMO, or we think that next thing is going to change our lives. And that's all well and good except that's exactly what you thought about every single thing that you own in your home right now at one time, but you still kept buying stuff. So, learning to focus on what you already have, learning to use it, it will eventually shift your mindset into a more positive, grateful, and abundant one, where eventually you'll even be able to weed out the noise of all of the things vying for your attention and trying to stir that FOMO in you. You'll be able to say, "Oh, that's nice. I'm glad they have it." Or, "That's cool, but I don't need this thing because of all the great stuff I already own." And when you feel like you have enough and appreciate what you already have, it's such a game changer.

You know what? And make sure you track those wins. I am a huge believer in tracking, especially when you're trying to make any habit change, because you cannot truly change what cannot be measured. I think that's why I love budgeting so much. And it may feel tedious and annoying, but the more you do it, the more you're going to actually even get a visual representation of the progress that you're making. And that's where that confidence really comes from. So, you can do things like tracking your no-spend days on a calendar. You can track your savings account in your budget. This will truly make you feel like you're making progress. And this is going to be more fuel to keep you going. Because remember that you live your life every single day. It's really hard to see those changes on a day-to-day basis. But when you look at your life and zoom out looking at month-to-month or even year-to-year, you're going to see how much progress you've made. And it's going to motivate you to stay consistent.

And that's the next habit, which is harder to do than it sounds. But I do have a motto that I've stuck to ever since I heard it for the first time. It comes from the book Atomic Habits. And it's basically the rule of never missing twice. Because missing once is an accident, but missing twice is the start of a new habit. I use this rule to build habits for everything. I do it for budgeting. I do it for the gym. I do it for eating healthier. It really works for so much. And why I think it works so well is that it really just helps you get out of that all-or-none mindset. You don't need to be perfect and you will slip up. So, you just need to make sure that you can bounce back quickly and easily.

And to make that bounce back feel even easier, I started implementing a new habit that I wish I did sooner, and that was simply rewarding myself. The habits that you're trying to build and the ones that you're trying to break in this journey are hard. So, whenever you feel like you hit a successful milestone, like having a few really good no-spend days in a row or putting an extra $500 down on your debt that month, you need to acknowledge it. It doesn't have to be anything big. It even doesn't have to be stuff, but I think really taking pause to be like, "Hey, I did that" is such an important thing when it comes to building any habits. And it can feel small and feel cheesy, but I think it's so important in just building that momentum and acknowledging the hard work that you're doing. Celebrating your progress is really going to make that habit loop stick.

And with that foundation that you've built, I think this is probably one of the most important pieces in habit change. And it does really boil down to a tiny micro habit, and that is how you talk to yourself. For example, I used to think that having a more punishing form of self-talk, I used to call it my drill sergeant, inner critic. I used to rely on that inner voice to motivate me and basically shame me into doing the thing. But really in the end, I think all it ever did was just put way too much pressure on myself and almost reinforce this idea that I knew I was going to fail. And that is not the way you go about building any positive habit change in your life or self-confidence. I think a little bit of self-loathing, shame, being angry with yourself, especially in this type of journey is normal, but I don't think it's going to get you very far in the long term because I think deep down even if you are successful, you're almost going to feel like you don't deserve it. So the moment that I changed my self-talk from that drill sergeant to something that was still firm but more compassionate was really when I started to notice things changing. At the end of the day, you're doing something really hard. So make sure you're kind to yourself along the way.

And with all those habits aside, I think if you want true lasting change, you need to make sure you do this one thing. This is probably the most important habit and that is to change your identity. Because when it comes to true sustainable habit change, it's not really trying harder or making huge drastic changes that will make the most impact. Because if you still see yourself as a certain type of person, then nothing's really going to change in the long run. Because if you think about it, the cornerstone of any successful habit comes down to identity. If you want to pick up a running habit, you need to become a runner. If you want to quit smoking, you need to see yourself as a non-smoker. Think about it. It's one thing to say, "Oh, no, sorry. I'm trying to quit smoking" versus saying, "No, I don't smoke." Can you see the difference there? One version immediately gives away your power while the other feels more confident and sure.

So if you always see yourself as a shopaholic, a spender, you don't save, an impulse buyer, shopping is my cardio, then no matter what you do, you're always going to fall back on that identity because trust me, I did all the time. I basically used it as a crutch to fall back on anytime I felt like I failed. It's like, "Oh, I slipped up and I impulse bought and went on a shopping spree." Well, I'm just a shopaholic. I guess that's what I do. I realized what that really was was my core beliefs getting in the way of what I truly wanted and what I truly believed I could achieve. And that identity shift will not change overnight. But what you have to do is begin with the end in mind. If you're going to make any of these changes, you have to start with the person that you want to be. So asking things like, "What does a person who's good with money do? What does a person who's committing to getting out of debt do? How does a disciplined and confident person act?" And slowly but surely, you start implementing habits just like the ones that we talked about in this video, implementing them every single day, and you'll slowly start to reverse engineer your way into that identity and becoming that person. Simply put, the more you act like the version of yourself that you want to be, the more you truly become them. But you do have to believe that you are that person.

So, now you know the 15 small but mighty habits to stop overspending for good. And if you're feeling inspired and want to dig into doing your very own no-buy or low-buy challenge to get even better results, then check out this video next or check out my journal. Thanks so much for watching and I'll see you next week. Bye.

[Music]