Transcription
So, here's a short story about a guy who is, for all intents and purposes, ending his engagement to his fiance after finding a video on her phone. What kind of video, you ask? Well, the type of video from 9 years earlier of her in college getting spit roasted between two guys who happen to be firefighters. Yeah, talk about a cliche there. And to no surprise, this guy can't exactly get that image out of his head. And pretty much he's done. And of course, it's meltdown central and all that. And uh now the guy actually is coming up with an interesting solution to the problem, but I don't think it's going to make things worse. But you guys will see and we can debate that later.
Titled "Am I the A-hole for wanting to end my engagement after accidentally seeing an old video of my fiance with two men?" and a shout out to Quadruple A for sending this story. Sounds like a wrestler. He says, "I'm 29 years old. I just got engaged. My fianceé, a 28-year-old female. We've been together for 6 years, and we built a really strong relationship. Well, not that strong, as she hasn't told you about her past. We're planning on our wedding for next year, and both of our families are incredibly close. Everyone was thrilled when we got engaged.
Last week, while we were hanging out and going through each other's phones at a boardroom, just looking through the old photos and videos from the past. While going through hers, I stumbled on a video from 9 years ago, way before we met, where she was being intimate with two men. Well, that will definitely ruin a day. It completely caught me off guard. Caught you off guard. I I can imagine she was just as shocked as I was. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Your girl definitely was not just as shocked to see your girl with two dudes. No. And she said that she thought she had deleted a long time ago. And honestly, I do believe her. I've known her for a long time to trust that this was a genuine mistake and not something she intentionally kept. Well, we can debate and argue that one there, but the point is he never knew about her with two dudes. She neglected to mention that when he got down to Wendy and proposed. Okay, end of freaking story here. And she is lying by omission. What else was going on here? Guys, you need, if you're going to propose, you're going to pop the question, you need to do some serious detective work before doing it, cuz otherwise. There you go.
Uh, she immediately deleted it, apologized, and looked really shocked. She explained it was from her college days, that the guys were firefighters she met back then. That just made it worse for him. It's So, let me guess. It's okay if it's firefighters. If they were a couple of archaeologists or EMTs or bull fighters, well, that's a problem. But they're if they're firefighters, then hey, no problem. No, it doesn't matter, honey. I don't know why, but hearing that that somehow made me feel worse. Maybe it was the imagery, the intensity of it, or just how much fun she seemed to be having in the video. Oh, I'm sure she was. They were sort of ragdolling her and there were loud noises and I couldn't shake the feeling of unease that came over me. I've rar the day I've met a girl that didn't have some fantasy about firefighters. Women love firefighters. Just, you know, something they love. And of course, he can't shake the feeling. This is not who he thought he was marrying. Now, wait till you hear more about him.
I told her I need some space, and she respected that. She's been crying a lot ever since. Well, that's the last resort. Has torn up pretty much and I keep telling her that that she didn't do anything wrong. Well, what she did wrong, my friend, is not telling you about her past. Okay, look, if somebody wants to do something in their in their lives, that's their business, but they're going to be accountable one day. It was her life before me, and she had every right to live it however she wanted to. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't unsee what I saw. See, and you're never going to let that out of your head. It did something to me emotionally, and I don't feel the same anymore. I've been thinking about calling off the engagement. There you go. It would destroy her. It would destroy our families, but I don't want to keep her in this limbo. I know we have a lifetime of memories together and love behind us, but I can't lie to myself about how I feel. Well, dude, then obviously it's not going to work. We see no problem lying to you unless you I obviously he didn't specifically say, "Did you have a three-way with two firefighters back in uh 2016?" No, clearly that wasn't the case. But she's lying by omission. So yeah, I feel like the bad guy for wanting to walk away over something that shouldn't even matter. Smack. It does matter, dude. Don't be one of these jackasses to say it doesn't. But it does matter to me. No matter how much I wish it did not. Am I the a-hole? No, dude. But you're not the a-hole. You have every right to walk away. She's the a-hole for keeping it from you. And I guarantee you, bro, there's no way that in college, that was just that one time that she happened to run into two firefighters walking down the street and say, "Come up to the dorms, Chad and Tyrone, and had her fun and that was the end of it." No, no, no, no. And by the way, gals like that usually are pretty adventurous for a while, what they usually call the hoe phase, and then they find their nice guy to settle with. Well, can you guess guys if he's that nice guy?
Now, the update. It says, "Hi everyone. Thanks again to those who read and responded to my original post. I end up having a long and honest conversation with my G with my fiance. I told that what really shocked me was it wasn't just a video, but how wildly different it felt from our relationship that we've had. Translation, things aren't so wild and adventurous for him. Now, obviously, he doesn't want to be in bed with two firefighters, but the point is, or even threesomes, but obviously she's not that freaky with him. She was my first everything. First kiss, first girlfriend, first love. Shocker, shocker, shocker. Got down the hoe phase, found her nice guy, probably, you know, a very conservative, maybe a religious guy, her perfect husband. Meanwhile, she had this whole other side of her that I never had seen. Wild, passionate, uninhibited. I never knew she had that side of her and honestly made me feel like I was missing out. Like she never felt the same spark with me. She never felt the same spark with you. Dude, you're the guy that the women marry and settle with and who sadly often times will cheat on a couple years after getting the marriage done. That's what happens. Do you really want to be that guy?
I made it very clear to her that none of it was her fault. I don't blame her at all for living her life before we before we before me and the way she wanted to, but I told her I didn't feel like I could go through with the engagement anymore. Well, nobody can blame you. Yeah, she lived her life. She made a choice. It's her business, but uh the consequences are coming back. These things always come back. Uh that really hit her hard and she was completely shocked, cried a lot, and kept asking me to reconsider and was really freaking out. Well, yeah, she's 28. She invested a bunch of years with this guy thinking she had a sure thing. He never she'd never he'd never leave her and now he is. She asked if there was anything she could do to fix things. She was crying so much and I felt horrible. That's the idea, man. She's trying to make you feel horrible. Meanwhile, does she feel very horrible getting accepting your proposal and leading you on to think that she's a completely different person that this, you know, forgetting about all that? She hid all that from you, man. She didn't feel horrible about that.
After taking time to reflect, I realized what I really what I was really feeling. And with this, it was this deep imbalance. She got to have her wild side, that intensity, those moments, and I never did. Our relationship has always been quiet and stable, vanilla. I guess it started to feel like I missed out on a whole part of life. Dude, you really didn't. It's overrated, but he's also hurt and, you know, thinks that's going to change sex. So I told her I wanted to experience some of that too, but just in a different way. I said I wanted to have some casual experiences with other people. I wanted to let myself be well too just once. Dude, you're not that guy. If you were that guy, you would have done that already. Period. It's not going to be very easy for you. It's easy for a young gal in her prime to do that. But for a 29-year-old guy, you know, yeah, if you're good-looking and you got some good qualities about you, you can hook up. But seriously, if he really wants to get some experience, the easiest thing for him is to get some hookers, spend the money and all that, but ain't going to be so easy for him. He's not that guy. And why do why why be be someone he's not?
That really shocked her. She went quiet for a long time and eventually she said that I could do whatever I wanted, but she just didn't want to end her relationship. But she cried again and I could tell it deeply hurt her. Well, it more like deep deeply shocked her. And this goes to show you women may control the keys to the bedroom, but men control the keys to relationships. And she realizes, I'm going to lose this guy who's I'm engaged to. Okay, I'll let him have the open relationship and go hook up with other women. As stupid as that is, does that sound like she loves him very much or doesn't want to miss out on this wedding she has planned? What does that say?
So, yeah, the wedding is on pause for now. She agreed to give me space to figure this out and get it out of my system. As I put it, I don't know where things are going to end up, but I just uh couldn't go forward pretending everything was fine when inside I was breaking apart. Thanks again to everyone who weighed in. I appreciate all the perspectives. Smack, dude. This is not the way to go. Obviously, you're you can go hook up with a bunch of chicks and maybe get get some three-ways and all that freaky stuff. You're still going to be turned off by her. He's doing this because he doesn't want to end it with her. And this way, in his mind, he's thinking, the way he's rationalizing this, I think, is okay, I'll hook up with a bunch of chicks. Maybe I'll even get a three-way out of this. Good luck, dude. And then we'll be equal. And therefore, then no problem whatsoever. Wrong. She's still the same girl that you saw videos with two dudes getting spit roasted by the firefighters. I got to wonder if they put one of her firefighter helmets on her just just for fun. And uh use their hoses on her. I don't need to elaborate on that one. You're not that guy. You're being someone you're not and you want to risk some girl pregnant or getting an STI just to prove something to yourself or to her. That's stupid. Don't be who you're not. And you and you do all this, you're still going to think of her the same way. And this is the same girl that lied to you. I'm willing to bet you there's a lot more skeletons in her closet. There's probably so many skeletons in her closet. They're doing the [ __ ] thriller dance with the ghouls and the skeletons and all when she's not around. I think it's just not going to work. But anyhow, if he's going to do it, he's going to do it. But I bet you we're going to have a update on this in time after he's done all this and said, "Yeah, I can't get the idea out of my head." But we shall see. But anyhow, I can't blame this guy.
So guys, place your bets. What do you think is going to happen here? Do you think he's going to actually be able to go through with it and have a roll in the hay and have wild experiences? Do you think it's still going to change anything towards her? I'd like to hear what you think about it.