Transcription
Oh, oh, hi Stephanie. Yeah, yeah. I uh, I had a great time too. Yes, it, it was special. I, I don't usually do that on a first date either. Thank you for letting me do that, by the way. Uh, uh, tonight. Uh, oh gee, how do you like your eggs? Uh, uh, one sec.
Um, Charlie, Stephanie wants to see me tonight, but I already made a date with Katie. What do I do? Scramble it is. Uh, uh, the thing is, uh, I already made plans uh, with my uh, you know, son, who I love dearly. What are we doing? Nothing. Go away. Oh, oh, what are we doing? Uh, uh, well, he and I have this, this father-son thing, uh, where once a week we uh, rent go-karts and uh, and uh, and eat pizza and uh, and drinker and drink. Go away. And, and, and drink uh, a lot of water, which the body needs to uh, to stay healthy. Um, anyway, we're on for Saturday. Right. Okay. Uh, uh, great, great, good. I, I'll see you then. Okay, bye.
We're not going go-karting, are we? No, I said you could drop me off at Gab's house so we can study. Oh, you're really going to study? Sure, it's great. See that he respects me enough to lie to me. Hey Alan, speaking of lies, at some point one of these broads is going to ask you a question for which you will have no ready answer. Like what? Well, it could be as simple as "What did you do last night?" Or as tricky as "Why is there a pasty stuck to your testicles?" The point is, you need to be careful.
So you're going to teach me how to lie to women? Well, do you know enough to pull the pasty off and say, "Happy anniversary"? I do now. Another thing you need to remember is always answer a question with another question. What do you mean? Exactly what? Great, you're all set. Drunk again? Yep. Well, uh, thank you. Uh, I appreciate the advice. I've got more.
Charlie, please don't take this the wrong way, but if a semi-functioning wino such as yourself can date several women at the same time, I'm quite certain I can handle two. Why would I take that the wrong way? Tastes like stale ass. Is it just me or does this thing we have feel really, really comfortable? Oh yeah, I mean, you know, maybe not pet names for our pee parts comfortable, but uh, we're certainly getting there.
Oh hey, next week my ex is taking my daughter to see his parents, so you and I can spend the whole weekend in bed. That sounds great. I'll leave myself alone till then. Oh, oh, oh, wait, wait, uh, uh, next weekend, uh, uh, you know, uh, I'll have to check, but, but I, I, I, I think Saturday is a, a, a working Saturday for me. Oh, no, really? Yeah, yeah, it's unfortunate, but in today's economic climate, Saturday is no longer the Sabbath for anybody except perhaps very religious Jewish people, you know, the guys with the, the, the beards and the, in the hats. Did you see Yentle? I love that movie. That's one I wouldn't mind owning.
Alan, are you seeing another woman? Charlie, are you seeing another woman? Why would you ask me that? I just need to know I can trust you. Yeah, well, trust is a two-way street. I know. Do you? Because without trust all we have is sex. Well, you can trust me, Charlie. God, I hope so. I've been hurt before. Oh, well, I won't hurt you, I promise. Okay then. Another woman? Yeah. What, you think I'm involved with another woman? You actually think I'm seeing someone else at the same time I'm seeing you? How did you know? [Music] [Music]