Transcription
One thing that I've learned is that trauma doesn't just wound you, it reshapes your appetite. And if you don't heal, you're going to start craving things that God told you to stay away from.
This is why so many people, especially after narcissistic abuse, they start feeling drawn towards things like spiritualism, tarot, mediums, horoscopes, and energy work. Not because they're rebellious, but because heartbreak makes you spiritually hungry. And when you're starving, anything starts looking like guidance.
This is exactly what happened to King Saul. Scripture says in 1st Samuel chapter 28 that Saul saw the size of the Philistine army and became terrified. His heart pounded with fear. He cried out to God. But the Lord did not answer him. Not by dreams and not by the prophets. And instead of waiting and instead of humbling himself, instead of seeking God deeper, Saul told his servants to go find him a woman who was a medium so he can consult with her. He wanted answers so desperately that he entered territory that God clearly warned his people to avoid.
Then the Bible shows us something even more revealing. Saul disguised himself, put on different clothes, and went to that medium at night. That alone tells us everything that darkness, hiddenness, and shame is a step into the very dark arts that God called an abomination in Deuteronomy chapter 18. I don't think Saul went because he was evil. I think he went because he was afraid. I think he went because he was unhealed and spiritually disconnected. See, Trump had reshaped his appetite until he preferred a counterfeit voice over the true voice of God. And people today in their pain unknowingly do the same.
This is what trauma does. It waits until your spirit is exhausted and then it says to you, "Just go get clarity anywhere you can. Just find somebody to tell you something. Just listen to what feels comforting right now." And then suddenly, without even realizing it, you're scrolling readings, you're watching psychics tap in, you're letting somebody pull cards, or you're checking horoscopes for direction, not because you don't love God, but because you're wounded, you're tired, and you're desperate for reassurance.
But hear me when I say this, and hear this with love. When you turn to mediums, when you turn to tarot, astrology, psychics, or even energy workers, you're communicating something to heaven, even if you don't mean to. You're saying, "God, I'm not sure that I can trust you to speak. I'm not sure that you will lead me, and I'm not sure that you know my future." But the truth is, no witch, no card reader, no psychic, no horoscope, no energy reading can reveal your destiny. Only God holds our future. And every time that we mix our faith with these practices, we're stepping into something spiritually toxic. It's something that looks comforting but contaminates our spirit.
This is why God warned us again in Deuteronomy chapter 18 to stay away from the mediums. Stay away from the divers. Stay away from the spiritualists. Not to control us, but to protect us from counterfeit voices that sound soothing but lead to bondage. And I get it. After narcissistic abuse, we want reassurance. We want answers. We want clarity. We want validation. We want direction. We're like, "God, what do I do next?" But if we don't run to God with those questions, our trauma is going to lead us down the same path that Saul walked into, straight into something that dishonors God's sovereignty and opens really dark, nasty doors.
God is not withholding direction from you. He's inviting you back into healing so that you can recognize his voice again without needing a counterfeit substitute. Because once your soul is healed and restored, you're not going to crave the forbidden anymore. Instead, you're going to crave truth. I want you to share this with a friend who's been kind of reaching into those dark sources because they need to hear the truth, but they need to feel the love behind it.