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It's a mini break. It's a fling one's fragile form into a fog of folly. How Kent can a cat keep from flipping his lid and blowing his bundle? But do not let Fury's cry chafe your cheeks, for I, everyone's favorite everyman, aka Richard Ayardi, am here to get your short hall ship to shore. Woo! Lassu to a litany of light entities. I'm going to glibly guide you through a global gamble. This, this, this is travel without mercy. Tonight, 48 hours in Brussels. This lowland land mass trolls in tourists by the thou, lured by its arcane architecture, miterating monuments, and high carb commestables. Joining me for this Belgium blowoff is comedian, actor, and writer Lee Mack. Beat them. Thank you. Together, we will question man's desire for power. There is the temptation to just stand in the middle of it and go, I wish you would challenge those that would mock. My surname is Mac. That wasn't a joke. That's my name. And pushed the boundaries of naturalism. I used to go out to I love you. We're here, but should we have come you to scale? Our elegant journey begins by choo. Have you been to Brussels before? I have been to Brussels. Yes. To negotiate Brexit. Mount up when you go. Please. Oh, thank you. No. No. Come on. Please. Oh, thank you. We're making a meal of this. The 2-hour 10-minute trip allows me to hone my worldass conversational skills. I can't wait to go through the tunnel. You went flya to flight 10. Yeah. I ain't getting on no plane, fool. Of course you are. Yeah. I'm not as committed to train travel as you. I don't actually dress as a train driver like your good self. I have prioritized visibility today. Okay. So why are we going to Brussels? Well, I'm pleased you've asked, 'cause I'm about to tell you. Founded in 979 AD, Brussels only rose to capital status after the Belgian Revolution of 1830. It houses 1.1 mil bods. And if you're ever asked how many visitors peranom receives, you're to look that photo in the eye and answer 6.8 mil. Belgium is bordered by France, Germany, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, and the sea. In short, the joint surrounded, hence its trio of official languages. Brussels has given birth to Heburn, comma Audrey, Dam, Jean-Claude Van, Blue Buffoon, the Smurfs, and Bequith Bourgeoa, Tintin. It's also the one-time home of Antoan Joseph Saxs, inventor of the Sax Horn, and Kenny G's go-to, the saxophone. And if that slurred stat swipe didn't tilt your rudder, value hunting viewers could cop a croc of brut for approx 205 PPP. Bags bundled into one of my Brussels bunkers, we blunder towards the grand place. This freaking square has seen flower festivals, markets, and executions. All surrounded by the high looting HQs of well-old trade guilds. We touched hands there. We did a bit, right? I'd like to hold your hand. That's right. 110 m by 68 m. Most of it restored after the 1695 bombardment of Brussels by France. Wow. Being with you is like being with Wikipedia. All killer, no filler here. Full of guild halls, bread, beer, town hall. I don't know where the grease makers are, but I want to know. Is there really a grease maker? Of course there is. That's the one I'm interested in. John Travolta has just bought it. I've got a very squeaky door. Let's exit. [Music] As history books may one day remind us, Brussels is EU Central. I see they got rid of the British flag already. What do you expect? Want your ex-girlfriend to keep photos of you? Let it go. It's over. To fully ingest Brussels EU Filia, we crossed the cobbles to video one of Katie Hopkins' favorite attractions. You do realize that you blend with every road service in this town. You're right, Big Bird. We're about to go into this second most popular ticketed attraction in Brussels. I love a mini village. Mini Europe contains 350 diuramas from 90 EU cities and cost a colossal 12.5 mill. Well, it's small, isn't it? 1 to 25. I find that incredible that everything is exactly 1 to 25. And I'm trying to work out if that's true, saying it. Those cows aren't to scale. They are. Those soldiers' helmets definitely aren't to scale. Everything is 1 to 25. That's not true. It is true. Miniature grand place. Wow. 19,000 man hours to create. 375,000. Can I just say it could be man or woman hours? #everydaysexism. It's incredible. How much do you reckon it cost? €375,000. Did you say that? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I tuned out when you were sexist. Do you think they cover it up at night with a big tarpool in? Do you think the real one gets covered up with a massive tarpool in? No, I do not think the real one gets. Everything's the same rules, but just downscale everything. It's not everything. These people are entirely static. Under strict instructions from whoever's currently in charge, we head home. I thought this was a celebration of Europe, but it's specifically the European Union. That's right. So, what happens when we're not in the European Union? It's awkward. It's flipping awkward. Oh, look. There's a Brexit protest. Sherlock Holmes on a boat there, solving a few crimes. He's got a gun as well. Is that a haird dryer? A Berlin Wall. And there's a blue button there. Come on, hit the button. Here we go. Oh. Oh, I see. That's wonderful. It's knocked down the Berlin Wall. Is that it? I'm a massive fan of this model village. Yes. But that was phenomenally underwhelming. Oh, I don't want to hear this kind of negativity. Maybe I should go in there and kick a bit of wool down. Freedom to the east. David Hasselhoff. Let's bust this joint. Still smarting from my solid and up-to-date burn, I seek to soothe Lee's injured pride by securing a visit to Brussels' most popular ticketed attraction, the Atomium, a mixture of atom and aluminium. Used to be made of aluminium, although of course it's been refurbed in stainless steel recently. I've got a lot of aluminium foil at home, actually, so this is making me feel very atomial. A, that was lovely. I sense that such deaf wordplay will have left Lee tired, spent, and potentially peckish. I'm immediately vindicated. I want a waffle. Right. We're going to have to go our separate ways. You get a waffle. I'll go and drink in the culture. Follow me when you're up there. Of course. Lee hits up the nearest tutti frutti, while I saw at a mind-melting 5 m/s, a European record at time of construction. That was a sweet ride. I can hardly recommend these if you want one. They're fantastic. Nothing. The Atomium was built for a 1958 expo to evangelize the completely and hilariously impossible utopian dream of an interconnected Europe. [Music] Tell you what, Lac TV's Richard Award. I can see you. You buy a waffle van. Where are you? I'm in the top one. Can you see me? For once, I can't see your jacket. This is compelling TV. You do realize what you've just missed. What? You've just missed Europe's fastest elevator. Not again. Well, it was in 1958. It's not the fastest one now. Oh, I cannot tell you the pleasure I've just had eating that waffle. Do you want me to get you one so that when you come down? Is there? Yes, I would like that. After what could be unfairly dismissed as a series of establishing shots, we retrieve our luggage and head to our hostel. You got my rider, though. Yeah. Yeah. Whale meat and papa doumps. All right. There's a fossilized motorbike here. Oh, yeah. Hello. Welcome to the gem hotel. Thank you. How can I help you? Uh, I was just wondering what you call Brussels sprouts. It's a show that asked the big questions. It's called I would have thought you just call them sprouts. Interesting. No, 'cause we don't say the full English. Oh, yeah. We do, don't we? We do. Bad example. [Music] The hotel jam is situated in a former art school and is ideal for one man who looks like he was kicked out of DVO and another man who looks like he plays keyboards for the Kaiser Chiefs. Wow. Before you think something's about to happen so early on in the show, it's just because your room's identical to this. I mean, I can't work out if it's like really cool or it will be when it's done. Stop conforming to type. It's very competitively priced. You can fit five people. Two. One. One. Someone you don't like. This is all well and good, but you got to ask yourself this. Has it got a cactus in a marmalade jar? Oh, hang on. Yeah, we're all right. I like it. Let's do it. Fine. Go to your quarters, Lee. We'll meet shortly. Before Lee goes on another epic and potentially mean-spirited hipster bash, we have scone for a dash of Belgium's unofficial national dish, which this joint labels out 69 different ways. Oh, thank you very much. Please. No, please. Thank you. You're welcome. Wonderful. So, we like muscles, don't we? I don't think I've ever eaten muscles before. You must have. No, that's impossible. How can you gone through your life not eating muscles? I just always don't. I have never gone a day without eating muscles. Interesting. That's the menu. Oh, I like aster. This is not the Tintin story I remember. N stinkput. Stink boot means stinky feet. Wow. It's with a special cheese smell. Very rare. Stinky foot. Really? What is your bestselling muscle dish? That'll be the sweaty armpit first. It's the classic one. 33. All the threes. I like the sound of that. I might have a 33. I'm happy to go fisherman style. Why don't you go fisherman style? I'll go 33. All right. And then we'll go back to mine and smell each other's feet and have our own stinky feet session. Thank you very much. Thank you. I don't meet me in the middle. Come on. Is that your chat-up line? Meet me in the middle. [Music] Okay, here we are. So, you choose for the fisherman. Oh, wow. Classic style. Wow. And that's the 33. I bring the fries and the sauces. Don't open them. It's very hot. Was that do or don't? I think it's a do. Oh, it's hot. Yes. Could have warned us. Here you are. Lovely. Homemade sauces. Here we go. Oh, that looks beautiful. Andy, you are. Oh, that's lovely. Enjoy it. Thank you very much. Teddy's a large good big solid fat girthy muscles. That will be on the board out front. Big fat healthy muscles. Limac. So, these are the nicest muscles I've tasted. You just splash me with muscle juice. You heathen. Now listen here, in at the end. Will you have the courage to pick up this and just drink it like a soup? Is that what you're meant to do? Definitely. I'm not drinking. If you knew what you were doing, you'd ask for a straw. That's what the real connoisseurs do. Of course it is. You're going to be weeing muscle juice. Sounds like a threat. You're going to be weeing muscle juice by the end of the night. I'm full. I'm absolutely full. I couldn't eat another muscle. Lee, get you've got a long history with muscles. How does this rank? I would. This is genuinely my top muscle experience. Thank you. Well, it's a company you keep. Uh, yes, it is. Yes. That was too long a pause. Show doubt, didn't it? Yeah. If there was a lot of doubt. The only thing that remains is for us to leave without paying. You're doing a run-up. Of course, the bill, please. With a belly full of brine, we crawl forth through a cultural digestif. And what better way to metabolize seafood than sitting through a Backstreet puppet show? There's a lot of dogs. Looks like a mass hanging. I do like a puppet, indeed. That was my first go at performing. I got a little ventriloquist puppet and tried to perform to my parents. How did that go? They weren't supposed to see your lips moving. I was really moving my lips. That's a shame. Brussels once contained roughly 50 puppet theaters. It is now home to precisely one, the Royal Tune. Tonight's show in French is The Three Musketeers. A tale of a clumsy man. Oh, that's given to tears. Oh, the longer is getting upset and violent outbursts. Oh, hello. It's kicking off now. Puppet master Nicholas Gale provides offstage coms while a team of six puppeteers manhandle the marionettes. Why don't they just aim for the strings and then they just collapse? Wolf. Oh, wow. Happy endings. What's French for? Encore. Encore. Oh, yeah. Thoughts, reflections, reviews. Well, I love the puppetry. It was clearly very funny 'cause everyone was laughing. Everyone was laughing. We didn't get it. Our language was not up to us. I mean, I don't get everything you say. You know that. No. And we we speak the same language. Is fair enough. Off we go. Well, yes. Enjoy that. After that timely meditation on the legacy of Babel, we barrel bedwards to snatch some Z's. And time for part two. A part which features slashing statuary. Couple of drops first and then we're going to get a gush. Precision piping. It's that dribble at the end and alarming honesty. I get hit by a car. It'll be a relief. [Music] Your reluctant return sees Lie Mac and I, a vision in lemon, recommencing a rummage through the bowels of Brussels in scenes that are now the stuff of digital data. We strode like Colossi. Small, isn't it? Flirted. You're going to be weeing muscle juice. Sounds like a threat. And subsidized the arts. Check it off. Now, as morn breaks like a weakened crisp, we thump up to a tourist attraction that some might struggle to justify. The Manneken Pis pay dirt. Wow. Would it be better if that water was dyed yellow? You wanted more urine. The girls knows it. Urine. That's a Dolly Parton song, isn't it? Urine. Urine. Urine. The Manneken Pis has been symbolically spraying ura since the 15th century and was originally built as a water source for its morally ambivalent townsfolk. Oh, stop. The water's turned off 'cause they're going to dress him. What are they dressing as? I think they're dressing him as Andrew Ridgely. Well, if you'd come all the way from Japan as a tourist to see this or even dress, you'd be really annoyed, wouldn't you? You'd be here going off, off, off. Our visit coincides with Paris Fashion Week and as a tribute to this most vital of events, Junior Pier is styled as a leather worker. Does someone have to make these bags? I wonder who else is using those bags? Well, too big for a doll, too small for a human. Well, you can get big dolls these days. He's starting to urinate. There we go. Well done, Laz. If you think this is the only civic waz in town, you're not right. Genica Pis created as a counterpart to red, address the gender imbalance. Oh, 50 cm high. Smaller than the new one. She's squatting. Well, you stand up so we can measure you properly. We've seen a boy and a girl, but I'm disappointed we haven't seen any sort of animal. Will you weight? Oh, I don't think you meant weight. That's a zebra crossing. And also that road safety and civic monuments 1998. This bad boy. Really? Literally Zica Pis. What does Zica mean? Well, bastard dog. Why do they call it the bastard dog? Because that's a nickname for the people of Brussels. No, it's not. It is. How do you know? Try it out. After a brief interscene scuffle, we arrive at an affluent arcade called the Gallery San Huber. Oh, look at this. Look at this. There are two things I love in life. Chocolate and shoplifted. Can we go in? Have some respect. It's where Praline was invented in 1912. Here. How do you know this stuff? It says on this sign. Oh, yeah. Birthplace of Belgian Praline. Belgium exports over half a million tons of chalk per annum. So we decide to increase the manufacturing base. Ah, hello, master chocolatier. Laurent Jabau offers workshops so high rollers like us can hone our skills. It's very good. And then I shake it to take out the bubbles. Hello. But what if I wanted to make an arrow? An arrow? 'Cause they put bubbles in. Okay. But then you just shake it like that or fine. I don't think he knows what an arrow is. A bit embarrassing. No, you decorate as you like. Lovely. Then back to the fridge. That's a good catchphrase. It is. Back to the fridge. And after it will look something like this. Oh, that's nice. I'll take that one. I know. That's That's That's a good one. I want that one. This is Yeah. So, he understands my material. He does. You left hand, right hand? I've got both. Okay, this guy's on fire. Right, here we go. It's going straight under. When do I stop? Stop. I'd stop. I just coughed. I just coughed into the shop. Wow. Into the cylinder. Into the whole cylinder. Lee, I'm so sorry. That's the whole. We have to close down the shop. I think it might be a bit of muscle. Oh dear. It's like 12 kilos. Trays round with confectionary and Lee's innards. It's time to aestheticize. We see the psychotic problem of people. The way they make it. Do you think the show has an element of psychosis? Yours is a bit messy. Mine? Yeah. Thank you. And this one is very uh repetitive. Thank you. That could be my wife talking. After that joke from the 70s, we move on to the next stage. Next job, you will have to make prines. Oh, I love prines. Filled prines. Oh, I feel pr. We create the hard outer shells. Fill it. Whack it. Smack it. Twist it. Shake it. Shake it. Bake it. Scrape it. Fill them with pry mixture before briefly pausing for an OCD pinch point. Stop. Stop. Stop. I've got to get the last one out. It's going to irritate me if I can't get it out. Look at the difference. All right. I've got to get it out. I won't be able to relax until that. Oh, it's out. Our triumph self-evident. We embrace our master. Thank you very much. A double burn. Really lovely. Thank you so much. That's a pleasure. Lon. So, come on. Yeah. There we go. Laurent, it is very rare that I hug anyone. That's how much I've enjoyed this experience. What did he say? He doesn't usually like to touch other men, but he's made an exception for you. Okay. Okay. Nice. Thank you very much, Lauren. See you, boys. Hump full of praline. We have time for but one more stop off before we are station bound. But which one? Will it be the Chip Museum, a temple to the fre? Will your boys bounce to Train World, the new museum that cost €15 million? No. Why would you get it so wantingly wrong? Those were mere montages. We're in a completely different place. The colors compared to me are relatively subdued. You would be easier to draw as a cartoon cartoon character. Belgium has the densest per square mile concentration of comic strip authors on Earth. And this museum gives these dudes and the dudes that came before those dudes their due. And for increased ocular input, we could tail our convo for a curated comic book walking tour. You are the most Belgian-looking man I've ever seen. Now answer me this, Bart. I never thought I'd say that to a grown man. Why is Belgium so good at comic making? We have a huge tradition when it comes to making comics. The first real Belgian comic we still know today is is Tintin. Tintin started out as a journalist addressing the kids on how people lived in countries around the world. He was the original travel man. He was the real travel man. The only travel man. We don't owe him royalties. Well, we're also going to see some murals outside, do we not? Yes. Well, let's go now. Now? Should we? Let's go right now. Okay, let's wait a bit. Then go. Brussels romance with the Bourne Destin sees it with 50-ish plus murals. This is Lucky Luke. Is this somebody's house? Yes. They're happy that they don't mind. Guys living in Brussels are very happy. Yeah, it must be worth a lot of money now. Make the house more expensive. Like a Banksy, maybe even. I don't know. We woke up and there was a Banksy on the side of our house. I was very excited. Well, we're not sure it's a Banksy. It said Sharon is a swag. Is that a Banksy? Yeah. So, we think it might be worth like a lot of money. [Music] This is Togal. Who's done the mural? The artists are making the drawing. The drawing is passed on to a firm that makes the mural. I think a comic book artist's job is not this. This is a completely different skill. Bigger Brook is surely. Lastly, Bart leads us to Yoko Tuno, scientist, black belt, diver, pilot, astronaut, and serial overachiever. Not this lady. She seems fine, but it's not her. She's got all these superpowers and yet she struggles to keep hold of an orange. Not an orange citrus planet, to be fair. That could be an orange. Bart, thank you. Heck of a tour. It's been massive. Yeah. Thank you for your attention. Not an E4. It's been mega, Bart. It's been absolutely. This is. This has been some sick years. We wish this way. Don't get run over, Richard. I'll try not to. 537 quid down. We must volunteer a verdict on Brussels for the sake of our children and their children and what viewers remain. So, we finished, haven't we? Gosh, you're very keen for this to end. Oh, well, thank you for having me. How have you found it? Oh, a lot quieter without the kids. Good. But Brussels, yeah, it's been all right. What have been your highlights? I mean, I hate to press you to individual moments, but I must. I did like the chocolate waffle. I'm a simple man with simple needs. And the one moment when I wasn't there was the highlight of the trip. It was €2 well spent. Well, thank you. What have you enjoyed? Well, I'm not so sure about a city so dedicated to urinating. It's big, isn't it? In many ways, I support that as a frequent urinator myself. But, you know, I'm I'm a fan. I like Brussels a lot. I like Brussels. I like muscles. I like chocolate. I like waffles. I like murals. I like comic books. I like yellow jackets. I like cobble streets. I like beige jackets. And I like you. There's your end line. Let's get back on the train. Let's go home together. Let's turn the cameras off and uh explore each other's bodies. Explore each other's bodies finally. Okay. Oh, I'm paying for this as well, am I? Yeah. [Music] Next week, a two-day detainment in Oslo with Fay Ripley. Freaky. Two groups from different backgrounds step onto Bear Grills Island, where money means nothing. Who will survive next? At 10, Ila discovers a virtual reality and an acceptance that feels like paradise in new emotional hypnotic drama, Kiss Me First.