Transcription
[Music] [Applause] [Music]
You have chosen to answer questions on general knowledge, is that right?
What is celery? High class wages, anemic rhubarb.
What is bologna sausage? Baloney is why where you find the hem of a nice girl's skirt.
What do you call Russian napkins? Soviets.
Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work. Well done.
And you will be. What does it mean when your palm itches? Visitors are coming. And when you itch all over? They've arrived.
Oh, Duffy fell down two flights of stairs with a pint of whiskey. None was spilled. Why was that? He kept his mouth shut.
What is higher purchase? I'll put our purchase is feathering your nest with a little darn, a little turn. Higher perches are what brave budgies stand on.
What is a bachelor? A man who hasn't thought seriously about getting married. A man who has thought seriously about getting married.
What is an asset? A little donkey. An ascot? A little donkey's bad. A pathologist? Uh, a man who can find his way through a wound. Unabridged? A river you have to wear it across.
What is it that a man does standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does with one leg raised? [Laughter] Past.
What? I don't know. The answer is shake hands.
I am 19 years old. I have a lovely soft speaking voice, a gorgeous figure, a passionate disposition, soft red lips, eyes like pools of liquid. I own a pub and I don't drink. Who am I? Who cares. Kiss me.