TONY ROBBINS: If You Want to CHANGE Your Life This Year, Do THIS 3 Step Process…

Tony, I want to start with, you know, with you there's so many things we can talk about and you've been doing this work for decades. I feel like your ability to learn what's at the root of things is is second to none. It's so powerful for you to know.

And I feel today since even when you started, people are still stuck. The thing I hear the most is, "I'm stuck in a relationship. I'm stuck in a dead-end job. I'm stuck in life. And I feel like I can't move. I don't know what I need to do." What's the first thing people need to do if they feel stuck?

>> They got to make some decisions, right? I mean, and what stops people make decisions you and I is fear. People are afraid of making the wrong decision. Fear of not being perfect. Fear of the consequences of their decisions. But let's let's chunk it up a little bit. What do people really want? We started out, we were all here created by something. I I like God is the term. Some people like the universe. I I'm not here to argue with that whatsoever. We have to agree that something created us and that something gave us choices and choices are how we create. We co-create our basically our lives. It's not your conditions. It's your decisions that determine the quality of your life. I had pretty rough conditions growing up to say the least. But I turn those into good conditions because of a mindset because of certain psychology because of certain decisions.

And if you think about your life, most people are stressed because they stress is usually measured by how much you feel you control events versus events control you. >> The more you feel events are controlling you, the more overwhelm you feel. The more stress, the more anxiety, the more fear. And we live in a culture where mental health is at record lows in terms of quality and happiness and joy and fulfillment and depression and anxiety are through the roof. And it's not because the world is so much more stressful. It's because the way we process the world. We have more information coming at us than any time in history. Obviously, we're drowning in information. We're starving for wisdom.

But in order to go from being stressed to not, we understand that the I think the single most important tool is decision-m because I I think that's been the skill that took me from, you know, barely surviving in a family that had tremendous pain and tremendous um angst was to be the nicest word to say and no finances and four different fathers and a lot of physical and emotional abuse to being able to serve literally hundreds of millions, billions of people. It's been decisions along the way. So, if you look at your own life, yours, mine, anyone's life, anyone listening or watching, you have to be honest and say, "I'm a creator." And if I don't like what I have, I've gotten here by the decisions that have created that. And look, there's lots of little decisions we make all day long. And I know you talk about decisions. I'm writing a whole book on it right now. Um, and most people, you know, don't understand that most decisions are easy to change, right? You know, I think I think you given the example, I I give the example of Bezos as well as Amazon. and type two decisions, the ones you can change easily. Type one are significant, right? They're going to be hard to change. Focusing on those big decisions is really important in life. But I think most people, they're afraid. And then the second thing is they think they don't have enough information, which is really just fear again because, you know, I wrote an entire book where I interviewed 50 of the most incredible financial people in the world. All people who started with nothing and became billionaires, the best investors in history, the Ray Dales, the Carl icons, the Warren Buffetts. And one of the things I learned over and over again from them is the smartest people usually are terrible investors.

>> I said, 'How could that be?

>> Yeah.

>> And they said, 'Because the smartest people want to know everything before they decide.

>> And if you wait till you know everything, the opportunity is gone.

>> And that's true not just in finance. I think that's true in life.

>> Yes.

>> Right. We wait till we have absolute certainty. There's no absolute certainty in life. The only absolute certainty is faith. You know, it's like, how do you drive down a street with nothing but a yellow line separating you from crazies coming driving at you at 65 miles an hour and every single day in every country in the world, in every city in the world? Someone will cross that line and kill someone cuz they were drunk, cuz they fell asleep, cuz they're texting. And yet, how do you get out there every day without fear and do it? You use a gift that God gave us. It's called faith. It's not what you learn faith. I'm not talking about a religion. I'm talking the capacity to see beyond the present moment and have a sense of certainty. Right? And so why do you do it? Because the alternative is to live at home and do nothing. Go back to the co days and be trapped. Right? We know what that did to people psychologically and emotionally because they felt completely at the effect of things.

So the fastest way to change your life is start making some real decisions. And I know it's hard initially. Um the other part is it's just that the more you make decisions, the more decision-m muscles you get. You know what I mean? It's like, well, you barely, some people have weak decision-making muscles. They uh you ever been to a dinner with somebody or a group of people, and there's always one person that's hanging on to the last moment, still can't decide. You see the waiter, waitress trying to be nice, you see them kind of losing their patience, right? It's like just freaking decide. HELP THIS LADY OUT, RIGHT? And they finally decide. Well, some that's the habit of a lot of people and they can't make a decision what to eat for dinner tonight. >> How are they going to make a life decision, right? So the first step is to make some maybe make some small ones that you can do and get some momentum but the more decisions you make the faster it gets. I think the whole idea that I have to make the right decision is is is the is the wrong way to look at it. My whole view has been not deciding is the worst decision. Right? I need to consciously decide if I don't want to feel like things are affecting me. If I'm going to shape my world, I make a decision and if I'm wrong, I'll find out quicker.

I gave you a real life example. I I don't know if you remember General Schwarzkoff. I got to know him pretty well. those who are younger probably don't even remember his name but the first war that was done over you know in um with Iran I guess basic with Iraq rather um he ran the the allied forces and he was a brilliant guy and he was very powerful he could talk to guys that were from the bario and he could talk to guys from Princeton incredibly well and a really lovely human being but I asked him what the most important skill was of a leader and he said decision-m which I agreed with obviously and I said well what do you think he's going to making decisions and he said I'll tell you a story. So he told me the story I tell you the short version of it briefly. When he was a private he represented uh a general and the Pentagon had worked for almost I think he said more than a decade and a half analyzing this strategic decision they had to make and there were people on both sides and they argued in both sides fully so strongly that no one made a decision for over 10 years and they knew they had to make the decision. If they didn't make it now it could cost the country our security. It's a big decision. And so he being the private organized the team that had to read all these volumes of material so they could summarize it so the general would have the information. He said then the meeting got pushed up and even with a group of eight people they could not gather all the information and fully summarize it. Meanwhile the generals called overseas during this time when he should have been prepping. It wasn't his fault but he had to deal with it. Flew back the night before. They're loading up with all this information. He didn't get back till 10:00 at night. The meeting was 8:00 in the morning. Right? Most important decision in the Pentagon's history was how it was framed. He said he came in the meeting. He said, "Give me your arguments." One person stood up for 20 minutes and gave this full-blown argument. This is the direction to go. All right. Give me your argument. 20 minutes, full blast, their argument. He said, "Okay, do this." And he all saluted and he walked out of the room and he said, Schwarzkoff said, he was a private, not a general, right, at that time, right? He said, "I don't know what the hell to do. couldn't possibly know all this information. He couldn't possibly know what to do in this situation and he was totally stressed by it. And so he worked up enough courage to knock on the general's door and said, "General, permission to speak freely." He's at ease. At ease. He goes, "General, I've worked on this for 4 weeks with eight people." I said, "You weren't even here last night. This is one of the most important decisions ever. How could I know you didn't HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY MAKE THAT DECISION?" And he said, "Young man, cuz a decision need to be made." And he said, "And both sides are equally strong. So I picked the one I believe is right. If I'm wrong, we'll find out quicker. It won't take a dictate, you know, 10 years to find out. And if I'm right, we'll continue. If I'm wrong, WE'LL MAKE A SHIFT." And he said, he said, "It just was outside of his world. It was so simple."

And then he told me one other one that I thought was really good. He said he was leaving one time and he left him as a private in charge of things. He said, "You're in charge. You make these decisions. You do these things." He said, "General, general, I don't know. How do I know what to do?" He said, "Rule 13." He goes, "Rule 13, sir." And he's starting to go out the door. He says, "What's rule 13?" He couldn't figure out what rule 13 was. When put in command, take charge. He goes, "Okay." He goes, "But but how do I make the right decision?" He goes, "Rule 14." Goes, "Rule 14, sir." What's rule 14? Do what's right. Right.

>> And those simple approaches, I think, can guide us. And I I really believe decision-m is the most important thing. So if you don't like your body, change it. If you don't like your relationship, change it. Maybe change you first. Otherwise, you'll trade people and have the same problems, right? You know, you don't like your your career, change it. But it for things to get better, we got to get better. For things to change, my teacher Jim Ran said, "You got to change, right?" But it all begins with a decision. So maybe start with small decisions or maybe attack a big one because when you do, you get momentum. And but by the way, it's only a decision if you act on it immediately. And so I have a rule that's like anytime I set a goal, anytime I make a decision, I make sure that within a few minutes of making it, I do something that commits me to follow through. Because here's the other problem. Have you ever done this? You ever made a decision then not followed through?

>> Yeah.

>> Why?

>> Uh because I was maybe maybe because I made a decision and I was uneasy about it afterwards or there was some fear that crept in or I didn't I didn't have a plan to execute it on it properly.

>> All those both those are the typical answers that you're spot on in your experience. But the biggest reason is people think decision is a one-step process and I found it's three >> right you can decide in the moment the reason I make that commitment that when I'm in the moment I do something commits me when I leave that moment you get in state you get inspired enough or you get pissed off enough something moves you and say not another day not an hour I'm changing this right but then when you leave that moment and you get caught up with some meeting or something with your family or something in your your social media email or whatever it is gradually you're in a different state and then you don't follow through and what you said is true. something else comes up as you weren't prepared for. Right?

So a real decision, the word decision comes from incision in Latin, right? Means to cut off from. When you cut off any other possibility except what you've committed to, you'll find a way. It's always tell people if you want to take the island, burn your boats. As long as your brain has a way out, it'll go back. And it's amazing what you'll do when there's no option to go back. Most of my career has been because I had no net. You know, Serena Williams and I got to turn around right now. She can't get on her sister died. She can't get on the USO. She can't get on stand up. She can't get up to do anything. Everybody knows I'm working with her up. I don't get her up, whole thing's over. I get her up, I turn the president around. I do whatever I've got to do. No matter who it was, with no net, you find a way.

So, I think the biggest thing is once you decide, you want to go to the second step is commit. In fact, I hear women say this to me all the time. I know you have a large female audience. They'll say, you know, men don't commit. And I said, has he even decided?

>> Because they're different steps.

>> women jump to commitment very quickly men not as quickly

>> right and so deciding is like a war sometimes you I got to figure it out okay I've decided

>> but then commitment if I ask your audience to ask them what's the difference let me ask you what's the difference between deciding committing to you

>> I feel like decided is I know which direction I want to do go in commitment is I want to stay in that direction for a long period of time

>> yes you just added exactly what it is a commitment takes it into the future decision is the moment and that moment can change

>> which is why so many people make a decision legitimately and don't follow through. That's why you need to take action immediately that commits you to follow through. Meaning, book the meeting, enroll in the class, you know, call the person and set it up, organize so you can have that conversation you haven't wanted to have and put it on the calendar so that there's momentum going out of it. But then committing, deciding is really rough. Committing is not that rough. It's just creating enough compelling reasons to follow through even though it might be tough right now. But there's a third step and after you decide and commit there's resolve. What's the difference between decide and commit and resolve for you? What's the emotional difference?

>> Resolve to me at least from the way I'm hearing it is

>> just in your own experience.

>> Yeah, there's a sense of I I feel a sense of confidence that I made the right decision so I can recommmit and reconnect or I get a sense of now's the time to pivot and so there's a resolution of am I am I continuing down this road or are we going to pivot?

>> Yes.

>> At least how I hear it.

>> I I I I understand completely your evaluating with something new came. But to me, resolve is whatever you did in that moment,

>> it's done.

>> Right. Right. Right.

>> Uh I know um Jim Run had told me one time that he was speaking about resolve to this audience of young people and I think it was like a nine-year-old girl. He said, "Who's got a definition of resolve?" And this young girl stood up and she said, "I think it's promising yourself you will never give up."

>> That was a beautiful example. When you resolve, you're at peace.

>> Deciding is like a war, right? Committing requires energy and taking into the future as you describe. And the resolve, it's amazing. It's like it's done. It's done in me. It may not be done in the world, but it's done in me now. I'll find the way or I'll make the way. And there's no uncertainty. There's no fear. There's no anxiety. There's no It's like it when you get to that psychological emotional place, that's the place in which you get results. If you look at an athlete, athletes are perfect examples of this. I'm sure you've seen a time where you watch an athlete walk up to shoot a free throw or let's say a kicker in football and you think it's going to miss it.

>> Yeah.

>> And then they do.

>> How did you know they're going to miss it?

>> Yeah. Physiology, the the where their head was, where their eyes were.

>> Yes. You could see in their state a lack of certainty when someone when you see like uh you know somebody like LeBron take the ball to go straight in and go over top of somebody's head and put it through. There is not you didn't just decide. He didn't just commit. He has resolved every ounce of his being. That's where the ball is going. That's where it's going to go. Right.

So, I think um just to summarize, I think there isn't a more important skill than decision-m and if you're not good at all you got to do is start making some decisions. What would you my question would be instead of just listening to us today, if nothing else came out of this, what's one little decision you could make that would increase the quality of your life that honestly you know you should make?

Maybe you've been putting it off cuz it's inconvenient. you got lots of other stressful things in your life or you're not really comfortable. But if you really committed and you followed through, you just decided, committed and followed through, right? Resolved. Where would you be a year from now? What would your life be like? And I would take a little decision and what action would you take today? Make that decision now. And then if you're bold, what's a big decision? What's a tough decision? What's a decision you've been putting off or you know in your gut it's right? You know, it might be about a relationship. You know, it might be about how you're dealing with your kids. It might be around your career or your business or your finances, but that's how life gets better. That's how you start creating life as opposed to being a manager of circumstance. And I I think when people are maintaining when they're managing their circumstances, when they're surviving, they're miserable. Like we are made to grow and we're made to give. When we grow, we have more to give. And so I think decision-m is the pathway, one of them certainly, to getting there.

>> Yeah. It's it's so powerful listening to you talk about it because I feel a lot of us the second mistake we make is that after we make a decision we hope that that decision solved everything. So it's like you make one decision and then you're like all right well I quit my job or I left that person or I got a new job and that should solve it. And the reality is what you're saying is no decision making is a continual process. It has to happen time and time again. You don't get to make one decision and your life is solved.

>> That's right.

>> Life is made up of lots of little and big decisions along the way.

>> You know what the biggest problem is that people have?

>> They think they're not supposed to have them.

>> Ah, right. Yeah.

>> Problems are a sign of life. I remember I interviewed uh um what was the name? Norman Vincent Peele, Dr. Peele, who wrote the original power of positive thinking book when I was 32. He was 92. And he invited me because my career was growing. He invited me up to Toronto to meet him at an event he was doing. So I came backstage and we spent about an hour in advance and u I remember asking him I said you know I'm curious I said why is still doing these events he goes well Tony there's still a few negative people around here at 92 I said what's the most thing about ' 92 he's men's horse and carriage to rockets right you know nothing to computers right just the the changes in his lifetime were just unbelievable I said what do you think is the most important thing people need to understand and he said, "The power of problems."

>> And I said, "What do you mean by that?"

>> He goes, "Well, the only people without problems are in cemeteries."

>> And I said, "I think I heard that somewhere."

>> He said, "In 1947, I said that."

>> He said, "But they never finished my quote."

>> He said, "The only people have problems are in cemeteries. So if you don't have any, you better go on to your knees and pray for some." Cuz he said, "Pros are a sign of life." And what I found is problems call us. He he said he was sitting one time at this u day. He was at a speaking day. It was like a lunchon and beside him was the heavyweight champion of the world and it was back in the 40s right and he said that uh he looked at him his name was Jean Tunny pretty famous guy and he said how do you get muscles like that and Jean said do you really want to know or you just ask him and he said he told me in his head he goes I was thinking I was just asking but now I really want to know because he was so intense about it says no I really want to know he goes every day I push against unbelievable resistance and that's what sculpts these muscles right? That's how you build muscle. And he said, I thought about a long time afterwards and he said, I think that's how we develop spiritually. We push against problems and that's what sculpts our souls.

And so I think um to think you shouldn't have problems, you can call them challenges. It feels better, but it's part of life. It's part of the journey. And solving them makes you bigger, more alive, more spiritually developed, more human, more caring. Um you know, pain and suffering, you don't have to suffer long, but we're all going to experience some of it, right? But decision-m is how we get out of it.

>> Yeah. And you're so right because one of the biggest challenges today is overthinking.

>> Yes.

>> Right. We're exposed to more information or so we think. And

>> I was reading a study that was saying we now consume 72 GB of data per day.

>> I don't know how much we've truly cons consumed absorb is a different absorb. It's like faced by it.

>> And you think like that's a lot. I remember when you were lucky enough to get 1 GB on your iPhone and now we're talking about 72 GB coming at you. So decision making is the kind of arrow that cuts through that

>> 100%

>> because that's the only way to get out of overthinking. And so if someone's spiraling, if they actually listen to you and said, "Hey, if I just make one decision off of this, that will actually create a shift for them."

I can tell you too, it's too long in in a conversation like this to describe in detail, but I can give you how I make important decisions. Um, I have a six-step process, and if people want to jot it down, I call it OC EMR. Those are the trigger letters for what I do. O OCMR and I developed this years ago because I only had one business. Now I'm fortunate enough I have 114 companies. We do over 10 billion dollars in business. I have no business background. All decision-m learning skills etc. But way back then when I had small business, these decisions were just it was tough. They were important decisions. They felt like they were life and death decisions for the business. And I knew that knowing how smart I am, you're better with a group of people around you cuz even if you have more information, they have another perspective, you know. And so I was trying to find a decision-m model and I thought well all decision-m is really value clarification like what's most important to you like what you decide what somebody else decide may be different but maybe right cuz it's about what do you value most right so I thought I should start with decision-m not by all the emotion that I may have of either anxiety or fear or excitement or passion either one can lead you astray it's like what do I want what's the outcome that's the first o

>> outcome

>> so I get people and by the way I tell people do not do this in your head the Reason people get overwhelmed is they ask multiple questions too fast to answer in their heads. Like, what am I going to do? I don't know what to do. What if she says this? What if he did that? But what if it doesn't do that? What? And you're asking 20 questions and you don't have the processing power to answer them. So, you're just going to overwhelm.

>> Slow it down.

>> One thing at a time, right? But start not with what you're afraid of. Start with what you want

>> because that's how the human nervous system is designed. It's designed to make things happen to create. So, if you become a creator, you start with the want. So, what are your outcomes? And this is the reason it's hard to make decisions for most people is they have multiple outcomes they're trying to get from the same decision, right? They want to make everybody happy and they want to make a million dollars and they want to have more free time and you know all simultaneously. So you have to say which of those things is most important to you. Is it the free time? Is it the family time? Is it to make more money? Is it say what's most important for you? Right? So I have people write down their outcomes and they're usually mult if they're having a hard time it's because there's multiple outcomes. And then I also say don't ever do this in your head because you can't manage all in your head. Pictures are worth a thousand words. So you write down the outcomes and then you put them in order and then you put the why because the why is what matters? Like what is the reason? What's the emotion behind this? What is it I'm even though I say this is what I want. What do I want out of this? What's it going to give me? Is it going to give me joy? Is it going to be happiness? Fulfillment? Spiritual development? What is it? Right? So now when you're crystal clear what you want and the order you want it in, and that's critical. What's number one? You got to be rigorous. Now you can make decisions by going to the second O what's what are your options and I always tell people one option is no option two options is dilemma you need at least three choices to be a choice right and so and when you get to three usually find there's four or five now you may not like them all but you shouldn't lie to yourself and say this is the only option that'll stress you out or these two in the option you'll get stuck in a dilemma so I write out all the options then I go to OC is consequences which is what you're doing the decisions for what's the upside and the downside side of each of these decisions to the best of my knowledge. The upside could be this and this, the downwards could be that and that. I've converted the first half. Okay, now you know what exactly you want. You know what your options are and you know upsides and downsides of each. So now we're going to go into the last three stages. I'm going to evaluate, mitigate, and resolve. E, evaluate. Now I'm gonna evaluate what's the probability of those consequences because you might have something that's like oh my god if this happens the worst thing on earth but the probability is next to zero and you're all stressed out unless you evaluate probability you're wasting your time. You might have some go oh MY GOD IF THIS WORKS OUT it's going to be the greatest thing in the history of the world but the likelihood of happening is zero

>> right you can't let those extremes get you. So you start to see by evaluating what's there. And then the last two steps are fast. It's mitigation. Mitigation means, okay, I've seen what I want. I know my options. I know the upside down there. I know what's probable. Now, could I take something from this option and mix it with this one? Is there a way to mitigate the downsides? And almost always there are. And at this stage, your brain gets really creative because it's not in fear or uncertainty or anxiety because you're not in your head. It's right in front of you. And the last part is resolve. And I gave you a million stories. It was too late to do. But I can just tell you I've made personally $400 million from one decision I made from this personally. I'm just I'm trying to give you an economic piece. What the spiritual emotional value has been on things is priceless. Um and I I can honestly tell you by using this system and I'm writing this book right now called the power of decision because I want people to have that skill and I show them everybody Bezos decision-making skills. I I teach people everybody's format, but this is my format for doing it. And I found it to be incredibly valuable, especially when you add commit resolve, you know, to it, not just decide to process. So, I hope that's helpful for people.

>> That's a great system. That's that's the best way I've heard it explained. I really appreciate that model because I think

>> too much of what decisions making is based on today is if you really want something and you go after it and you organize and you have a plan, you'll get there. And it's like, well, wait, you didn't evaluate the probability. you didn't look at it from a systematic point of view or the other side of it is like all right you made a decision you get some good ini insight get some good advice get some good mentorship you pivot you pivot but the point is you can save yourself so much time

>> you got it

>> by doing what you just shared

>> huge amounts of time

>> huge amounts of time money and energy I was going to ask you Tony you have such a systematic brain like when I've learned from you listened to you everything is so processoriented which I love but at the same time you have this deep faith this deep spirituality and you youought put it out there. You said, "I made $400 million and at the same time the emotional and spiritual benefits are off the charts."

>> Talk to me genuinely because I think today we all hear about, "Oh, you can manifest this and you can get that and this." I feel like you have a really pragmatic and process driven approach to both. How does faith, how does energy, how does spirituality correlate with a very systematic process-driven approach?

That's a great question. Um, no one's really asked me that question. That's nice. uh it's a reflection of your qualities as well which I think you look at both sides as well as I do I think um there's nothing more important than spirit soul there's nothing more important than your spiritual development anything else is a joke and yet maybe the best way to describe it is think about it as east and west right we both have experiences of both uh I go to India at least once a year on average and I've been going since I was in my 20s um because I was fascinated by the cultural differences and and as a gross generalization in the east is more about internal development. If you go to a place like Veronasi, which is one of the oldest cities on the planet, you know, 3,800 years old, they have fires that have been burning for 38 straight years non-stop. And for people who don't know it, in that culture, you know, everyone has different perceptions of God or belief of what God is. But in that particular culture, doesn't matter what kind of Hindu you are, if you there's some believe you should give up all your clothing, everything but your clothes. Some people believe it's studying the vdas. Some people believe it's through yoga. Different ways to get to God. million different ways and there's more than 300 million different gods, your own personal god in that culture, right? Very different. But they have a belief there that if you uh die in Veronasi, it's the only thing they have unified, then you don't come back because the belief is reincarnation. So they want to, you know, not come back, which would be Nirvana, right? And they burn these fires and when someone dies, they try to get to Veronasi no matter what they do because they believe if they die there, they won't come back. And the the city is filled. You've been there, haven't you? Yes.

>> Yeah. fill the people that are dying and joyous.

>> Like I remember we we went to Mother Teresa's facility and there was a woman there that was, you know, tiny little lady and she was like in her 90s and I was talking with her. She own broken English and she was mad as hell. She was dying and she was mad. They scooped her off the streets and they're helping her. She came here to die cuz this was her I mean really pissed off, right? And then most Americans have, you know, they burn the bodies. I watched them burn the bodies. on this boat and I'll never forget the first time I did this and I watch this little boy who's flipping this looked like stick or twig and it was his grandfather's leg. No one is crying, no one is sad. Um they believe that the body is the t-shirt. You burn it and it goes away. So the spiritual side of life is all that is seen there. But yet people live in squalor. You come to America and people get stressed about they didn't get the special burger on sauce on their burger, right? Um, and you see people that live with tremendous economic opportunity who spoil it and don't take advantage of it. And people have tremendous econ opportunity when they're not fulfilled in their relationships. They're not, who's to say they're not spiritually developed, but looks on the outside, but the way they treat people, they're not spiritually developed. And um, and so I don't believe you have to pick one or the other. I believe that they go together. I've always believed when I originally was learning, you know, constantly listening to albums, that's old I am, and cassette tapes and realtores, that's old I am. Eight tracks of various professors, speakers, I was just immersing myself in things. I noticed almost everybody specialized in either how I look at as philosophy or strategy, right?

>> Philosophy is critical. It determines the quality of your life. It determines whether you're happy or not happy, fulfilled or not fulfilled. Strategy is how how do you get it done? And strategy is critical because you could save a decade with the right strategy in business, in your personal life, with your body. The wrong strategy and you're going to be ill, right? And so early on, I decided you need both. So I teach both. And I don't think that's anything but intelligent, you know, to do both. So that's how I look at it. But if you think like what creates, you know, when you look I try to look at what does everybody want and we're all different. Um, and I think the best example I can give is that people want an extraordinary quality of life. But that definition is different for everybody.

>> Like some people's idea of an extraordinary life is, you know, three beautiful children and a husband or wife that they adore. Some people's is um to write poetry or write music or to build a farm or a garden. Some people's is grow a business. Um, everyone has completely different eyes of what that is. I don't pretend that my life should be your life or I'm the example for you, but I'm an example of how you can take what you believe you want to create and make it real by accommodation and enjoy it cuz how many you know have achieved something they want and then said is this all there is cuz they didn't have the right philosophy or they were trying to achieve something they thought would meet a need for significance and they missed love you know, the more important pieces of life. So I believe that there's two primary skills to have an extraordinary quality of life which I would define as life on your terms. So the first one is the science of achievement. That's a skill. So when I wrote my financial books, I ended up writing three of them. I never intended that, but after 2008, I was so angry cuz I worked with Paul Tudtor Jones, one of the top 10 traders in the history of the world. And I knew this was coming. I try to warn people and only few number of people almost destroyed the world economy, right? And then we punished them by giving them more of our money. This is the most crazy thing. So I don't have a lot of power, but I have the power to convene. And so I brought together 50 of the best financial people in the world and kind of dug into their brains and figured out what's the common pattern. They're all different that have made them go from nothing financially to financially free. And I want to show people that's still doable cuz I think most especially young people today don't think that's possible. And they're wrong. Um the system's rigged is what everybody says. It is rigged to some extent but it's still totally winnable. Life isn't always fair but it's still magnificent, right? You can still make it magnificent. So the skill sets, it's like it's a science. If you do certain things, you're going to have too much month at the end of the money, right? You're going to have stress. If you do certain other things financially, you're going to be free. That's a science. Your body is a science. Every one of us is slightly different. But there's certain patterns that if you violate them, you're going to have illness. You're going to have disease, right? That's what it is. Uh if you surround yourself or apply them, you're going to have a high level of energy, high level of health. That skill is the one that most human beings in the western world are pursuing. They want to achieve more and the whole focus is let's get more. And we're a consumer culture. And so as a result, a lot of people do that and they're still unhappy. Right? That's cuz the second skill is more important and is not promoted in Western culture very much. And that is the art of fulfillment.

>> And notice I said art, not science. Cuz what fulfills you and I consider you a dear friend and what fulfills your best friend and what fulfills your kids may be really different. Even though you love each other and and you're all part of the same family, so to speak, we're all unique in that way. It's like what does God love? Go to a forest and take a look around. Everything's different. It's ultimate levels of variety of shapes and directions. It's not supposed to be one thing. I think that's the biggest challenge in our culture. We've experienced all this, you know, this pain and these these shootings and so forth about people that want to shoot other people because they believe something different than them. Man, what we've really lost it when we can't have a conversation anymore or we can't learn to agree to disagree. You know, that's part of you can love somebody and still disagree with them. I know in Congress I have friends who were, you know, worked at vice president level and worked at the presidential level and worked in Congress and Senate and they would fight like hell three or four decades ago and they go have a beer together. Now they don't even talk to each other. It's a crazy thing. But my point is fulfillment is an art and fulfillment is as different as you and I are. There are no laws to fulfillment. But there are some principles and one is growth. If you're going to be fulfilled, you got to grow. In fact, the whole self-care mentality we have, which I think was important, it was like the antidote to the uh what they used the hustle culture burnout culture.

>> And people are really stressed. You know where they're stressed? They're hustling just to make money. there's no meaning.

>> When there's no mean, you can work your ass off and be so fulfilled if it's meaningful to you. If you're doing it for a higher purpose than just money, I'm not saying you shouldn't have money. You should. It's part of a master skill of being alive and taking care of your family. But if that's the only thing you're doing it for, you're going to stress out and burn out. I mean, stress comes to making things more important they really is. Failure comes to making things less important than they really are. It's an art, right?

>> M

>> but the fulfillment side is finding what it is that allows you to grow because when you grow you feel alive. I always tell people people ask me all the time they say what is it that makes people happy? You travel the world you met millions of people what is what's the common key to happiness? And I say progress.

>> Progress equals happiness. When you're making progress you're happy. Even when you achieve it like can you think of a goal you've achieved that you're really proud of and then afterwards thought is this all there is?

>> No.

>> Oh good. I'm so up. You're more purposeful. Of course, the purpose podcast.

>> No, you too. No, but as in like I think that's because that's cuz you know it's about progress.

>> Yeah. Yes.

>> No, I'm agreeing with you. Yeah.

>> Have you ever had though a goal where you achieved it and you're out of your mind? Like out of your mind and good like you celebratory?

>> Probably not either.

>> Oh, interesting.

>> Well, most people have had some celebration that they had. Yeah. And when they celebrate that, what I always ask people is you're really celebratory. It was great. You achieved it. You were proud of yourself. Great. I say, how long did that feeling last?

>> Not long. And I say to the last six years,

>> no, six months, six weeks.

>> Yeah. Yeah.

>> Six days, six hours. Most people somewhere between six days, 6 hours and 6 weeks max. Because you know why? Why does it go away? Because we're not made just to achieve goals. We're made to grow. We're made to become more. Because when we grow, when we make progress, we have something to give. We have more to give. So it's like everything in the world either grows or it dies. If your relationship's not growing, don't BS yourself. It's dying. If your business is not growing, it's dying. If you're not growing, some part of you is dying inside. So, but I found that when people really grow, they're happy and then they want to share and they have something worth sharing, right? So, if you look at somebody like you Robin Williams,

>> I mean, Robin Williams, I think, was one of the gifts of our country to the world, you know, he he made people laugh all over the earth. He came here to Hollywood, where we are right now, and he had almost no resources except creativity. And he said, "I'm going to star my own TV show." Everybody says that. Nobody does it. He did it. Then he said, "Okay, I want to not only star my own TV show, I want to make it the number one show in at least five countries." He did it in nine, right? Then he said, "I don't want to do TV anymore. I want to make movies. That's more dramatic." And he did. Then he said, "I want to win an Academy Award for not being funny." A dramatic Academy Award. And he won.

>> He said, "I want to have a family

"that totally loves me and I love me." He did it. He said, "I want to have more money than I could ever spend." And he did it and he hung himself in his own home. How do you explain that?

Now people say had Louis bodies in his brain, but he abused alcohol and cocaine and drugs his entire life, staying hyped up. He worked to make everybody happy except himself. So I really believe that success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And you do not have to separate them because if what you're doing is designed to try and serve something more than yourself, you're not going to be stressed.

I mean, when you're trying to serve your kids, or you're trying to serve your community or your country, when there's something you care about more than yourself, there's an energy that you have. All suffering comes focused on the self. And ironically, again, I started to mention self-care. I'm not being derogatory towards self-care because I think it's important to take care of yourself so you can take care of others and take care of yourself. But it's become the new, it's, it's the new hustle culture.

Self-care means you're doing something directing your mind, soul, and spirit to become more, not just checking out, right? And so many people are doing it now. And I think that's a huge reason why. I don't know if you saw, I looked it up the other day. I was, I actually brought, I want to make sure I have the right numbers. It blew my mind. Yeah. 61% of Gen Z has been diagnosed with anxiety disorder. 61% of a generation. Um, 54% of Gen Z women report diagnosed mental health conditions by American Psychological Association. 34% of Gen Z are currently taking prescription medication. And there's been a 129% increase in the trajectory use of antidepressants among teenage girls since the pandemic. I mean, it's like there's something wrong here. This mental health crisis is because we think we should do less and we're going to be happier.

There was a study done right in the middle of COVID, um, by a woman who wrote an article in the New York Times, and she took people who are miserable and angry and sad and said, "We're going to do a time management course with you for nine weeks, and I'm going to ask that you do more during these nine weeks." And at the end of nine weeks, just by feeling control of their lives, right? 20% increase in life satisfaction, 18% increase in productivity by doing five times more than what they were doing when they kept. Because the problem with pulling back and taking care of yourself when it's the extreme side, not what you or I would do. I know you have the meds thing you talk about, right? Terms of meditating and eating well and diet and sleep, right? Is that the one? You couldn't agree more with you on that. But when people make it like just letting go and doing nothing, I mean, I understand the value of that. But the weaker we get, the harder it gets. It doesn't, you don't hit a bottom and now you're okay. You just get weaker and weaker and now little things are stressful. Well, just like the decision-making, the more you don't make decisions, the more anxiety you have. The more you start making decisions, the stronger you feel. You feel like you're in control of your life. And all it takes is a few good ones for you to start getting momentum. So, I think those two skills are the key to a great life. Master the science of achievement. You can study how people did it. Get the same thing with your body, or your emotions, or your relationships, or your finances. But then when it comes to fulfillment, you have to discover what will help you to grow and what will help you to give more and what taps you.

I'll give one final little example because it's humorous to me. Steve Wynn is a good friend of mine who built most of Las Vegas, about half of Las Vegas. Beautiful. My favorite hotels. Yes. Beautiful, beautiful old man. And Steve is quite a philanthropist, great human being, a good friend of mine. So he lives, we both have vacation homes in Sun Valley, Idaho, you know, for the snow. And, um, I arrive one morning and or one night, the night before, and I got there like 2 or 3 in the morning, and the phone rings at 8:00 a.m. I, you know, four or five hours sleep. Who could possibly be calling me this home, right? Steve, Tony, it's my birthday. I want you to come over today. I said, "Steve, I know, but it's what, 8:15, 8:30 in the morning? I just got here." He goes, "Listen, I got this new piece of art. He said, "It's unbelievable. I've coveted this piece of art for the last 13 years." He said, "I, I outbid everybody at Sotheby's and literally they delivered it late last night for my birthday. You must come and see this painting." I said, "All right, Steve. I had one question. How much did it set you back?" "$86.9 million." Wow. $87 million. So I said, "Steve, screw lunch. I'm coming for breakfast." I got to see what an $87 million painting looks like. And I'm picturing God crashing through the clouds, some Renaissance image, you know, everything else. I get there and he takes me in the room. He goes, "See?" And I look at it and I understand what it is. It's a Rothko, but it's an orange square. If you've ever seen a Rothko, it's, it's literally an orange square. Orange and red square. And I said, "Steve, they missed a few spots 'cause it isn't filled in right." He got a little, and I said, "This is a rough go." I said, "I know what it is." He goes, "Yeah, but I said," Steve, I said, "Give me $100 worth of red paint. Give me a piece of paper. Give me 20 minutes. I think I can do this again." And it stirred him up a little bit. You know, he knew I was teasing him. He goes, "Tony, you don't understand. He committed suicide." Started telling me the whole story of the guy. I said, "Well, for suicide, he, you, you should be his blood for $87 million. I mean, come on." Right? But the reason I tell this story is he can barely see, but he got almost an orgasm looking at that. He because he finds meaning in everything. Like he knows what every stroke means. I look at, I see an orange square. I'm unsophisticated. So what makes you feel fulfilled depends on what you focus on. If, and you know, people say, "Why did he do that? He should have given that money away." He's given millions and millions and millions, hundreds of millions of dollars away. That's just everybody's judgment. I think you should figure out what it is that fulfills you. Because if you don't find fulfillment, you're going to be miserable. More stress comes because you're not fulfilled. It's not because you're not achieving. It's because you're not making progress on what matters to you. It's because you feel at the effect of events versus your affecting events.

So many breakthroughs there that I just want to flag for people that I think are huge. The first point being this breakdown of the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. So important because I think today what people are getting confused is that they think if they're more fulfilled, they'll be better at the science, and that doesn't work that way. And you won't stay fulfilled either because their idea of fulfillment is what feels good in the moment. But what feels good in the moment is what feels good long term. What feels good long term is when you grow. And when you give. The two things that make us feel life is growing and giving. And you grow so you have something to give. Yes. And then same back the other way. The science of achievement won't make you more fulfilled. Which you made one big breakthrough. Second one is what you just said now. This idea that self-care is promoting this idea that we all want more comfort. Yes. That we should all have more comfort in life, and if we have more comfort in life, then we'll be happier. And you're completely kind of uprooting that and going, "Well, actually, the discomfort makes you experience progress, which equals happiness." That's correct. Because that's the algorithm that we want to be a part of. And that's the hard choice because that hard choice is choosing the discomfort, choosing the discipline, choosing the decision that may feel hard, but is right. But the, but the one that's the hardest one is regret. Not making the decision almost always leads to regret. If you make a decision that's wrong, you can change it. Make another one. Even those type one decisions, you know, that that Jeff Bezos talks about, most of them are still possible to change. This just takes a lot. So it's always possible to shift. What's what will screw your life up is not deciding. It's living on the fence because the brain does not do well with uncertainty, right? Well, that's one of the human needs is the need for certainty. And the fastest way to certainty is just make some decisions and act on them and discover what's real. Um, so I, I appreciate your meta comments about that because I think, uh, I think it's really important to master both skills. I know so many people that achieve so much and they're so unfulfilled. There's so many people that are trying for fulfillment and they, you know, it never lasts. Um, it's because, like, you got to think about it. Everything in life is calling us to grow. And if you want to know what doesn't work, the pop psychology of self-care is not working anymore than the hustle culture did. They're both extremes, right? Life's a balance, right? And if you want to see what the results are, look at the medication that, you know, and millennials are known as the RX, not the X generation, the RX generation, right? So, it's like that is not solving it. To feel good. Not feeling good is part of what gives you drive. It either destroys you or drives you. You have to make those choices. And most of us will not let it destroy us if we don't medicate ourselves. If we don't, we find a way to push through. But if, if you don't have to, people go for comfort. And comfort will never make you proud. Comfort will make you strong. Comfort will not allow you to inspire your kids or your community or your friends. But there's a greater thing than comfort that comes from fulfillment by pushing through. What? And here's the other part. It's like, I, I hear the word, the other pop culture element drives me crazy is self-esteem. Oh, I don't have any self-esteem 'cause when I was a child, people said these horrible things to me. And how convenient you only remember the horrible things they said to you, right? Um, they said lots of things. But the truth of the matter is what people said to you makes no means whatsoever as to whether you feel like you have high self-esteem or not. Self-esteem is earned by yourself with yourself. Someone can tell you your whole life, you're beautiful, you're gorgeous, you're so smart, and you can fear you're not, right? You people like that all the time, right? And they have all this anxiety 'cause they thought they're the best in the world and they find out they're not. Their parents overblew who they were at that stage. They didn't teach them to develop it or to push through or develop the muscle that would make them the best in the world at what they do. On the other hand, you can be told by people, you're a piece of worthless piece of junk. You'll never be this. You're a piece of that. You're, and that person can say, "Screw you. I'll show you who I am." So, what people have said has zero impact on your self-esteem. And telling people they're great or not great does not change it. Teaching them to have grit, teaching them to push through. The way you develop esteem for yourself is by doing difficult things that you know are right. When you do something you know is right, even though it's difficult, your esteem for yourself grows. And no one can take that away. You can take away money or material things. No one can take away who I've become as a man and my my path, or you as a man, or anyone else as a woman. And I think it's really important to know that if you want to feel good about yourself, it's not by relaxing. Don't get me wrong, I know how to relax. And it would take time, and I have beautiful family. I have five kids and five grandkids. So, I certainly have to be able to do that. And one of my kids is thanks to COVID, I have a 51-year-old daughter and I have a four-year-old daughter. So, I have quite a spread. At 60, when I'm going to be 66 pretty soon. So, to give you a sense, so my life is full, but it still has to have growth in it. It still has to have progress, and that's what makes it fulfilling.

Yeah. What's the difference between growth and hustle? Meaning.

Well, yes, exactly. Hustle, I'm just doing it to try to make money. If I'm busting my tail, but man, I know what I'm doing. You know what it is? Is I always, people, I measure people's lives. I again, have to give a zero to 10 score on their body. Not compared to someone else, like your idea of a 10. When I was 20, I thought washboard abs was a 10, and they had them, and my back hurt. You know, so I was out of balance, right? You, everything else was screwed up. Big biceps and you weak in other areas. Then. So I asked people, where are you 0 to 10 in your life today based on what you want for your life? Is it energy? What, where you 0 to 10 in the level of meaning and emotion? Because if you don't measure something, you can't manage it. Give 0 to 10, a little description. Give me 0 to 10 where you are in your relationships and, um, and the most important one, your intimate relationships, because friendships are easy, right? You, where's that? And if you don't have one, that's zero, and you want to see that, so it pushes you, right? Uh, where are you in, you know, your, and this is the one that led me to it, is your work, or is it for you, uh, career, or is it, you know, um, a calling, or a mission? And I already know who people are based on which word they pick. If it's work, it's work. If it's a career, they work at it, and they're pretty fulfilled that. But if it's mission, like I know you and I are both called. I don't have to do this another day of my life. I do it because it's my mission. It's my purpose. I believe it's what I'm made for. There is no amount of work that can wear you down when it's mission. Zero. And if you haven't found that, um, I would caution against one other thing if I may. I'd love you. You've stirred me up with some different questions. It's good. I think it's important to understand a lot of people are trying to find their purpose. What's my purpose? What's this big purpose? Who said you had one? Right? Who said you had one for a lifetime? Like, if you write down a purpose statement, as long mission statement, it sounds real good, and you read it, it's never going to cover all of who you are, where you are. You know, I have a different purpose when I'm sitting down with my daughter, my youngest daughter, than I am with my oldest. I have a different sense of purpose in what I'm doing in this business is for that. I have a different purpose in our conversation today. Purpose is what gives life meaning. Um, but you don't have to have one giant purpose that you're struggling to find. Life will evolve. And if you just keep moving forward in a purposeful manner, like whatever you do, there's some meaning to it. Then I think you're going to find you're much more fulfilled. And those measurements, by the way, I would do them on your finances and I do them on the spiritual side of life. Not religious, but like religio means celebration. Most people in religion don't have a lot of celebration anymore, right? Just a bunch of rules. So, it's like, okay, I divide it between how much are you celebrating your life? 'Cause isn't this an unbelievable gift that we're sitting here breathing, this heart's beating, we don't have to work at it, that we're the skin's working, that we can have a conversation, that we can feel, that we can live, that we can have our children? That's a miracle. We forget what a miracle does just to be alive, right? So, are you celebrating? And then, are you contributing? Because celebration without contribution doesn't last, you know? And so, I say measure those things. But to answer your question specifically, I think it's critical that you understand stress comes from having activity without purpose is the drain on your emotional well-being.

Yeah. And that's, and that's what we're struggling with. That makes sense. You just mentioned there you have a child who's 51 years old, one that's four and a half.

I don't, I want to call her a child now. She wouldn't appreciate that. I have a daughter who's, daughter. Yeah, you have a daughter. You have a daughter. Sorry. Yeah. You said you have a daughter who's 51 years old. You probably still see her as a child in some ways, I assume. I don't know. My, my mom can't stop seeing me as a child. But yes, you have a daughter who's 51 years old. You have a daughter who's 4 and a half years old.

Talk to me about what being a dad at that age was like in your 20s. Yes. To what being a dad in your 60s looks like? Like what is, what's different? What are the different challenges? What are the different lessons?

It's, it's my favorite stage of life is this stage of life. I would say that first for everyone listening. You know, I look at life in seasons. You know, it's like, um, I'm a big believer that the three skills we need to teach our kids or ourselves, especially in a world that in the next 5 to 10 years will have more change than any time in human history between nanotechnology and AI and, you know, robotics and everything else. The world is going to change like never before. So, how do you have an advantage there? You have to master three skills. You have to master pattern recognition so that you're not fearful. A lot of fear is because you think this is the only time this has happened. Politically, we'll never been this way. It's, I can show you stuff that makes Republicans and Democrats look nice to each other from the past. You know, when you recognize a pattern, you go, "Okay, this has happened before." And seasons are one of those patterns, right? Um, and then you're not fearful. And then the second part, it's not random. The second skill is mastering really pattern, you know, utilization. That's what gives you power in your life. Because now a baby can't get out of this room until they recognize almost all rooms have an exit. And if I look around there, it's shaped a certain way. And there's a handle that if I push, pull her, I can get out of here. If you don't, you're trapped. So pattern recognition is power. At a little level, get out of the room. At a big level, if you look at somebody that's great in business, like, "How do I have all these companies? I couldn't even run one company with five employees. I was trying to do a million dollars in business. I wasn't hitting it. And I was stressed out of my mind." To now have 114 companies doing $10 billion. The difference is pattern recognition. It's like understanding and then learning how to use those patterns in those situations. So, if you're good in business, there's certain patterns. If you're good at investing, there's certain patterns. If you got good mental health, there's certain patterns. You know, if you're physically well, there's certain patterns. If you know somebody's a good dancer, they recognize how to use patterns to produce a specific result. Spielberg has made movies for 40 years. He knows if I move in slowly like this, he knows if I go fast, what'll happen? If I pull back, if I bring the music up here. So, anyone you know that you probably respect and like doesn't just recognize patterns. They got great at using them. But the third level for me is pattern, you know, where you, a creation where you really, it's like if you've played music, you did it usually by playing someone else's music. Beethoven, Bach, whoever you did, you learned someone else's patterns and you did that long enough, you could use it. And then one day you start to come through. You start to become a creator, right? We stand on the shoulders of the people before us. And so those three skills are how you can compete or do well. And I want that for my 51-year-old and I want my four-year-old. Having said that, you don't recognize as many patterns when you're 25, to answer your question, right? And I'm proud of the father I was. I mean, I got married, my first marriage to a woman that was 12 years my senior, and she had been married twice before me. She had kids from both husbands, and she moved in with me, and she was so unhappy, and I was like, "Bring them here." And I adopted all those kids. So, if you can imagine, I was 24, just turning 25 years old. I had a 17-year-old son, an 11-year-old daughter, a 5-year-old, and then shortly after a blood child of my own coming on board. And so, I was out to change the world. And I had to learn how to manage my life and who I was and these kids. I fell totally in love with them and the, the joy of my life today. And that marriage lasted 14 years. And when they grew up, I really, I was there for the kids, honestly, more than anything else. We weren't the right match for each other. We're still good friends. And I married my wife now. I've been together 25 years, the greatest gift of my life. But my wife didn't think we could have kids. The doctor told her point blank we couldn't. So, we ended up doing it with a surrogate. And it was COVID. And I'm normally going on the road 225 days in a year, 200 days in a year. With COVID, they shut down every arena in the world. I, we went from doing 15,000 people to them saying I could put 100 people in the arena. So we pivoted and I started doing digital seminars. We did the biggest ones in the world, 1.3 million people for three days, you know, and really made it an experience that was amazing. So there was time. So we got our daughter. But to answer your question specifically, I think in my 20s and 30s, um, I was still trying to figure out completely who I was. And all I knew is I want these kids to be loved. I want them to know that they're not here to demand from life. Life is expecting something from you. And that if you're here to be a contributor, you'll always be happy. And I really accomplished that. I'm proud of all my kids. They're all contributors. They're all contribute time, energy, money, resources to help people who are not as well off as they are. Uh, they're all great parents. Um, and they're all just, um, just good people. Um, but with my daughter today, it's, you know, I had her at 61, so, um, certainly not what I planned for. It brought more joy to me than anything else because, you know, so much more. You have so much more wisdom to share. You have more time to just experience things versus when you're running trying to make it all happen. And I think someone like yourself at 38, we talked off the air here that at some point you'll probably have children. I think in that 38, 39, 40, you have more wisdom to, because you're still, you know, who you are now to a great extent. You'll continue to evolve. I continue. Yeah. Especially you, right? I'm, continue to evolve, right? But I think there's just more to give at that stage. But I also would tell anybody that I wouldn't, if someone would told me, if you think of 0 to 21 as being a pattern of seasons, like when I say pattern recognition, the pattern that has changed humanity the most, the first recognized pattern that we changed and started to use was seasons.

Until then, we were hunter-gatherers and starving to death unless we could find the right food. Total stress, way more stress than we have. Right. But then what happened? We realized, "Wow, there are these seasons." And if I plant in the spring, I protect it during the summer, I get to reap in the fall, have enough for winter, I can do the whole thing again. Well, if you do the right thing at the wrong time, you get nothing. It doesn't matter how hard you work. So, I, I'm a big believer in looking at what season you are in your life. What season you are in history, right? What season I'm I'm in with my family. And so, I think 0 to 21 is springtime. Everything grows in springtime. It's easy to grow in springtime. If you start a business in springtime, you think you're a genius. You're not a genius. You're just in the right season, right? But then summer comes and things are tested. And God or the universe, whatever you want to call it, has made it so we have an easy time and then we have a tough time to test us to make us grow. An easy time of rewards and a tough time. So summer, think of it as like 22 to 42, roughly. 0 to 21, you're taken care of. I had a childhood that was a little tough, but, you know, I was 13 or 14, and I had to work to support the family, but I still, I didn't have to make all the money for the food. Someone else was housing me. Someone else is taking care of me. At that stage of life, you're taking in information. 22 to 42. Now, you go test it, right? Now you go say, "Well, I was taught all this stuff, but what do I believe?" You know, and in the early stages of that season, you think you're invincible. You think you're going to be a multi-billionaire, president of the United States, and have 100 relationships simultaneously, and everyone will be happy, right? And by the time you're 32 or three or something like that, you start going, "I'm not a billionaire. I'm not the president of the United States. And I can't even make one person happy in a relationship. What the hell's going on here?" And that's usually when people start to look out for people like you and I who are looking for some wisdom about how to live life in a way that's happy and fulfilling and growing and expanding because they know they're not invincible. That stage, if you're listening, if you're in that 22 to 42, it is the most painful stage across all studies. Most unhappy stage. If you're happy right now, that is awesome. And anyone can be, but most aren't fully happy at that stage. It's the most trying stage. It's the testing time. And if you didn't grow during spring and take care of yourself summer, then you won't reap in the fall. You're going to weep. But if you grew in both those stages, now you go to the third stage. That's, you know, basically 43 to 63. And both these numbers are round, right? Some people are early, some people are late. But in that stage of life, you've accumulated enough skill and knowledge if you've grown. You know the people. I'm sure you're already experiencing it now. Like I was in Greece and I, I got stuck. I, I'm fortunate enough to have a private plane, and I'm supposed to fly to Germany, and I want to drop my family in Italy so I can have a good time. And they, you know, we had it two weeks in advance. They told us what the times would be. And then they changed the times and said I couldn't get out till after my seminar started with 13,000 people in 54 countries, right? And I'm like, and they were movable. And so, like, "Okay, my only option is find some other way to get to Athens and fly it somewhere else." And it's like, "No, you know, at this stage of my life, there aren't very many people on the planet. Who do I know that knows, you know, the prime minister of Greece?" So I asked GBD, Tony Robbins, who does he knows it? It gave me a list. It's like Mark Benioff of Salesforce, one of my dearest friends, a humanist. Peter Thiel is one of my partners in business. He's, you know, he's from Greece and he knows and went through the whole list. There's like nine of them. So I called three of them and, you know, the poor prime minister got about nine calls and next thing I know, no problem. They moved the time and everything else. There's a stage of life that if you've done your job and have contributed enough to society that you know most of the players or you know most of the people in the industry, and you have, you've got relationships that are 20 years long or maybe 30 years long, and the talent pool is not elastic. There's only so many people that keep growing, and so you usually know those people and have a role in that. So that stage is where most people have that stage we can think of as as autumn, as the fall, the reward stage. That's when most people earn the most. That's when most people tend to grow the most. That's when you start to really become a leader in that stage. Now obviously it can happen earlier. And then 64 to 84 to 104 to 124, which is the oldest living humans, is the winter stage, which is there's a gradual decline in the body, no matter what you do, at some stage. And you have to make sure you keep your mental facilities up. But it's also the most magnificent stage because you can make not only a phone call to get your plane out, but you are able, you have 30, I have 40-year relationships now. I've got five kids and five grandkids. You know, I've got people that I love with my soul that I would do anything for, do anything for me. I don't know many things in life. I'm, I feel closer to God and the universe than I've ever felt in my life. I feel like my life is such a blessing. If, if my life ended tomorrow, I'd be the most blessed man on earth. I, I'd like to continue contributing. Um, but that's not in my hands. But it's not, that's not in my hands. Whenever I go, it'll be the right time. So, it's just like I want people to know, and all the studies, by the way, show if you stay healthy, this stage I'm talking about is the most fulfilling stage. And it's the stage where you get to become, you know, an elder statesman. You, and you're not trying to prove to somebody who the hell you are. You know, you don't play the social media game. You know who the hell you are. If people know you, like, people know you're a good person, but if they don't, you don't really care, right? You just go deliver what you're here to deliver and do what you're going to do. So those stages of life, I think, are useful 'cause we're all different, but there's a racetrack to life. And you're not there yet, but there's a stage in your life when your brain will go, "There may be more days behind me than ahead of me." That's usually midlife, whatever age that is in people's heads. It's different for everybody. And there's a, there is a beauty, there is a massive increase of the beauty of life when you begin to realize it's a limited racetrack. It's, uh, you value every moment, every relationship, every experience you have even more. And I'm at a stage of life where I have so many friends that are 20 years my senior. Um, I have a lot of friends in their 80s and friends my age that have passed away just in recent years. And I just remind you that it's a limited racetrack. It's, but I think that's valuable. I remember I read a, um, um, Ray Kurzweil sent me one time. Ray Kurzweil is a brilliant futurist, one of the smartest in the world, right? And, uh, one day he sent me this little story. He goes, "Tony, I think that you didn't appreciate this." And it was a write-up about a story from, um, a TV show that was done years ago. And in the TV show, which has a little twist, um, it's about a man who is a gambler, and he goes to heaven. And his day of heaven is staying at the Wynn Hotel in the presidential suite, right? Or the Encore, the presidential suite. And he wakes up in heaven. He wakes up at the top of the Encore, and he opens his closet. There's all these suits and outfits, and he opens the drawers, and there's cash, and there's jewelry and watches and all these things. And he goes downstairs, and every woman notices him, and he goes, and he's blackjack, you win 21, you win, you win, you know, and all of a sudden he's playing craps, you win, you win, you win. And he's like lit up like a Christmas tree, and he goes home that night with more than one person, and he thinks it's the greatest experience of his life. And he wakes up the next day and does the whole thing again, and the next day and does the whole thing again. The next day does the whole thing again. After three weeks of this, he's sitting at the table. He's playing blackjack. And goes, "21, you win." He goes, "Of course I win. I always win." He's getting angry. Goes, "There's something wrong here." He goes, "I want to speak to the head angel. There's something wrong here." And so the head angel comes over. He looks like Guy Lombardi in his tuxedo and says, "Can I help you, sir?" He says, "Yes." He goes, "I win every single time." He goes, "There's, there's a mistake here. I don't belong in heaven. I'm not the kind of guy that should be in heaven." And the angel looks at him and said, "Who said you're in heaven?" Oh, wow. If we always got everything we wanted, if time was unlimited, would you value life as much? So, I'm here to make sure we make every moment matter with meaning and with love.

It's beautiful. I love that story. Love that story. And I mean, you've dedicated so much to this and you keep doing it. Time to Rise Summit. Time to Rise is coming up at the end of this month.

Yes. And it's another opportunity for people to get better at making decisions. Yes. To decide, to commit, to act, to resolve, to have that energy. Everything we've been talking about today. Plus, you got, you, there's something about the calendar that's so funny. It's totally arbitrary, but a new year is like a new life. You, it's like a fresh start, and we all need a fresh start. But the problem is, most people set a bunch of New Year's resolutions, and, you know, 98% they don't follow through on them. So this is about, "Hey, let's figure out what you really want, what's getting in the way, what's the plan." And it's only 3 hours a day. So, think of it like a great movie, only you're in it, and you're actually changing your life three days in a row. So, it's January 29th through the 31st. And you can go, you can attend from anywhere on Earth. We had, uh, 1.3 million people last year attend from 193 countries, every country on Earth that exists, at least that the UN recognizes. And it's an experience that probably won't forget. Plus, there's a community of people. And there's zero charge. It's not like partial pay or there's zero charge. Once a year, I do this just to give back to people all over the earth. And, uh, it's really, really dynamic, and people create incredible changes and they share them with the community on Facebook. I look forward to it every year. So I hope people will join us. And then the other thing I hope you'll join me for that because it's an immersion, and it's the beginning of the year, and you set yourself up to win and meet some great people. Uh, but then also, I've actually now created, uh, uh, with partnership with Paramount, where I'm doing the Tony Robbins network, which we've just launched, and it'll be all over the world. They're going to actually translate it in every language. I'll use AI, so I'll be speaking with my own voice in there. It's amazing technology we have today. Um, but it's literally 24/7 channel of nothing, but we've got, you know, dozens of programs we developed on how to improve your body, your emotions, your relationships, your finances, and there's no charge for it at all. So, anybody can dip in and have an experience there as well.

Wow, that's fantastic. I mean, what I love about Time to Rise is that that few days, those two to three days that people will spend with you, it will create a shift because we all need those moments where we just immerse, we get absorbed, we get focused because some of us maybe we'll do 10 minutes of thinking about our life here and 30 minutes over there, and maybe you'll spend an hour if you're lucky. But to have three days of 3 hours each, yes, it's it's colossal what could happen in your life.

And I really believe in immersion. And the reason I do live events, and they're usually 12 hours a day, to give you an idea. And people who won't sit for a 3-hour movie will go 12 hours and say it was the greatest experience of my life. It's immersion is the way to learn. Like if you're going to learn a language and you learn a little bit at a time, most people learned in high school and college, they don't speak the language years later. But if I dropped you in Rome for 90 days with no teacher and I pick you up, you're going to be speaking because you're seeing it, feeling, experiencing it. So 3 hours isn't quite that level of immersion, but it's enough to really create momentum, make some real choices, and really change your life for the better. And it'd be my privilege to serve anyone who wants to join us. And again, there's no charge for it.

Uh, last question, Tony, before we end. You, you mentioned there that, and you've talked about in your seminars, I've seen you talk about it, your relationship with God, the universe.

Yes. And I wanted to ask you about that because I think we often refer to a relationship with God, a relationship with the universe. What does a relationship with God and the universe look like? How does one nurture that? What does that mean?

It's more of what it feels like to me than what it looks like. It feels like, um, I feel like I've been guided in my life, um, because I've asked for guidance, and I believe I've been created. I think we're all created for different purposes. And, um, my own personal belief, which may be wrong, is that I'm here to make things better. I mean, I have a, I wear these little baseball caps all the time just for fun, but, um, if you read them on the side, it says, "Be a blessing and you'll be blessed." Is what it says underneath. And that's my whole philosophy of life. Be a blessing. And I think, um, I know my, one of my sons, Josh, I remember when he became a Christian. I'm of the Christian faith personally, but I'm quite broad in my approach. I'm not restrictive in my thinking, and I don't believe everyone should be what I believe. Believe. In other words, if you have a spiritual belief, I hope you follow it because whatever it is, if you don't follow it, you're probably not going to be happy. Um, and I'm not a proselytizer of people to have to be or think a certain way. But I remember my son, he, he became a Christian. And when people, you know, find God in whatever way they find it, they often think no one else has that. It's only their way, you know? And he became very, very rules-driven about, "This is how it is, and that's how it is." And I was quite concerned. But rather than trying to push him to be a certain way, I told my wife, Sage, I said, "Honey, we were in Fiji, and I said, you know, I've got a few days." I said, "I'm going to go on a fast for the next four days, maybe five, four or five days, just drink juice, and I'm going to read the whole Bible from cover to cover." And I said, "Because I've never read it that way. I've never done total immersion like I talked about." And I read the whole Bible, and literally about 18 hours a day. And I was struck at the end by an overall pattern. So I went to my son. He's being very devout and very right, wrong, good, bad, and, and anytime you make things extreme, I think it creates problems, right? And I didn't try to make them wrong in that way. I said, "God's this, and God's means that, and this, this is what Christ did, and this is how it is." And I said, "Okay, Josh." I said, "Just, I have one question for you." I said, "I just read the entire Bible from cover to cover." And his jaw dropped open. And I said, "I'm dead serious." And Sage, the, um, she goes, "He did it." I said, "One thing that comes out of, I read the Old Testament, and God seems like a selfish bastard who's mean and vindictive. And I read the New Testament, and God seems incredibly loving and supportive of all." So I said, "If that's true, does God grow?" And there's this long pause. He felt like he was being trapped, you know, like you're trying to trap me. I said, "I'm not trying to trap you. I'm asking an honest question. I mean, everything in the universe either grows or dies. So, does God grow? If the Bible is a real reflection of God, and there are many other books that are a reflection of being inspired by the divine, but let's say that's the book. Does God grow? Because it sure looks like it in the book, you know? And if that's true, only reason I'm bringing that up is I know what you're fearing is that you can't have absolute certainty about how things are, which is what everybody wants. But you could have faith. And I said, he goes, "Well, God knows everything. God knows what you're going to do before you're going to do, how it's going to be." And he gave me this riddle. And I said, "Okay, I believe all that, but the question is, does God grow?" And he couldn't give me an answer either way because he felt like he was being trapped in it. But eventually he loosened up. And I can say today, he's much more balanced, you know, in that area. He's not trying to make everybody else believe what he believes. But I think, I think the universe grows. I think God grows. And I think it's our job to grow. And I think that when I look at the spiritual side of life, the relationship I have is one that's more emotional than visual. I feel like when I get up to serve, God comes through me. Um, when God, when I stand, when someone stands up, and I say, "It's a date with destiny." You've been to date with destiny. You never know who's going to stand up. They could say, you know, "I'm suicidal." Or they could say, you know, "I'm considered killing myself and my five kids." I mean, I've had that come up. They could say, "I made $400 million and I'm depressed." And people want to slap them. Just, you never know what somebody's going to say. But the minute they stand up, inside me, it's already done. Not 'cause I'm so smart. Because I know they stood up in this moment, I believe, because this is all by design, and the right answers will come through me. And they do. I mean, I've never lost the suicide, knock on wood, in, you know, 48 years. Um, and, you know, I'm sure people have seen, some people may have seen I'm Not Your Guru on Netflix. It's a piece, but you see fantastic. You see people six years later, like the woman that was there that was suicidal, that was in that cult where they make you have sex with the adults, and she's got out. She's now a psychologist. She's rescued all these other kids. She doesn't have an ounce of depression or suicidal thoughts. You know, uh, Stanford did a study that shows that. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that the spiritual side of life is critical. But what I said to my son is this. I said, "I want everyone's relationship to be God. If I had a choice, which I don't, but if I had a choice, it should be as unique as your signature. Why should everybody copying everybody else? You should have an individual relationship with God." So I said, "I really appreciate if you read the Bible, or you read any great spiritual book, a personal Christian, but read any of them and let God speak to you. Don't just take it from another man or woman standing on a stage telling you what to believe." I would tell my events, "I'm not here to tell you how to be. Who the hell would I be to do that? I'm just sharing with you insights and tools and strategies that can help you guide yourself to whoever you want to be." And, and hopefully to ask you, "Who do you want to be in this lifetime?" 'Cause in the end, what you get is not going to make you happy. It's who you're going to become that's going to make you happy or sad. So, I think, I think it's an individual decision, and I think it evolves for people over time. But I think it's one of the most important things because for those who believe that there's nothing, you know, nihilistic, but, but this moment or this, this body, um, I think that's a big mistake. It's like saying Webster's dictionary is a result of an explosion in a print factory. It all came together perfectly in balance. I just don't buy that even logically. And I think you're missing out on life if you don't think there's something more than you, and also something more to serve than you. And that gives me personally a great sense of meaning.

Yeah. Tony, thank you for your work, your tools, your insights, your life, your service. Thank you for your time and energy today.

Thank you for all that you do. I appreciate it so much. I'm so grateful for our friendship. Honestly, it's been, it's been a real gift. And I want to push people to timetorisesummit.com. It's timetorisesummit.com. That's where you can subscribe. Remember, you can sign up for absolutely free to join the Time to Rise Summit. You can be a part of it with all of the seminars, the insights, 3 hours a day. It's very rare that we get to do a podcast and I get to direct you to something which will exactly solve what we've been talking about today. We get to do that. Get to give you this summit as a gift. It's absolutely free that Tony's doing with him and his friends. Time to Rise Summit.com. Please go do yourself a favor. It's a gift. It's free. Start your year off right. Get into that great season in the first quarter of this year. And remember, I'm forever in your corner and always rooting for you. Uh, Tony, thank you so much. Truly. Thank you.

Appreciate it. Thank you so much for listening to this conversation. If you enjoyed it, you'll love my chat with Adam Grant on why discomfort is the key to growth and the strategies for unlocking your hidden potential. If you know you want to be more and achieve more this year, go check it out right now. You set a goal today, you achieve it in 6 months, and then by the time it happens, it's almost a relief. There's no sense of meaning and purpose. You sort of expected it, and you would have been disappointed if it didn't.