Transcription
Turn with me if you would, Ephesians chapter 5. We're only going to read three verses. Verses 25, 26, and 27. Let's find out what Paul had to say about the purpose of marriage.
Now, again, Paul is teaching on marriage. But what he's going to do, so you understand what we're getting ready, you getting ready to read. He's going to use the covenant between Christ and the church as an analogy to teach us the primary purpose of marriage. Husbands, your responsibility as the man of the house, as the husband, is to, or I should say, is patterned after Christ's responsibilities to the church. Women, your responsibilities as the bride are patterned after the church's responsibilities of Christ. Why? Because marriage is patterned, or the covenant of marriage is patterned, after the covenant between Christ and the church. So Paul is using this analogy. Notice what he wrote.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself forward that he might sanctify and cleanse it. What's "it"? The church. By washing it. What's "it"? The church with God's word, so that he could present it, the church, to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it, the church, should be holy and without blemish. Jesus is doing all of these things so that we can be holy and without blemish.
Now, this passage of scripture clearly states that through marriage to Christ, the church is being sanctified and cleansed of sin so that it might be holy and without fault. In fact, that's the whole purpose for the marriage of Christ to the church. It's so that we might be sanctified, cleansed of sin, and made to be more like Jesus. And since the covenant of marriage is patterned after the covenant between Christ and the church, the purpose of marriage must also be the same, or at least very similar to it. So what that tells us is that the primary purpose of marriage is to sanctify us and to cleanse us of sin so that we might be holy and without fault. In other words, more like Jesus.
Now, let me give you a hermeneutical principle. Hermeneutics is proper interpretation of the Bible. Most pastors do not follow hermeneutical principles. I'm going to give you a hermeneutical principle. How do we know that this is the primary purpose, the number one purpose of marriage? Why isn't it sex, men? Why isn't it companionship, women? Why isn't it bearing children? Why is this the primary purpose? Well, there's a hermeneutical principle that states if something has several different purposes, the highest purpose is the primary purpose. What do we mean by highest or higher? When we talk about a higher calling, I have a higher calling. My calling is to God. Things that are spiritual are higher. We're supposed to obey the laws of the land unless they go against the commands of the Bible. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, Daniel, they did not obey the laws of the land. Why? Because there were higher laws. So in hermeneutics, if something serves several purposes, the highest purpose, or the purpose with the higher calling, if you put it that way, is the primary purpose.
So let me tell you what the primary purpose of marriage is. If you're taking notes, write this down. It's to teach you how to be more like Jesus and to teach you how to love like Jesus. You see, if you learn to be more like Jesus and you learn to love like Jesus, guess what, man? You'll have a good marriage. In fact, you might even have a great marriage, and you'll be happy. I promise you. In fact, just think about it. What do you have to do to have a good marriage? Well, you've got to learn to forgive each other. You've got to learn to quit being selfish. It's not all about you. You've got to learn to be patient. You got to learn to love even when your spouse is being unlovable and rude to you, saying all kinds of nasty things to you. You've got to learn to put your spouse first above yourself. You've got to learn to be humble and not prideful so you can admit when you're wrong. You've got to learn to be kind and gentle. And if you are smart, you picked up Paul's definition of love from 1 Corinthians chapter 13 and all that. In essence, you have to learn to be more like Jesus, and you have to learn to love like Jesus loves. Pretty simple, huh?
So, the primary purpose of marriage is to sanctify us and to make us holy and without fault. In other words, to teach us how to be like Jesus and how to love like Jesus. Now, why is this important? It's important because it makes us realize that when we can't get along with our spouse, it's because we have something in our life that needs to be dealt with. Something that is un-Christlike. But what's sad is that most of us don't want to admit that or deal with it. We don't want to have to deal with our sinful thoughts and feelings. We don't want to have to acknowledge that we're being selfish and what we did was just plain wrong. We don't want to have to deal with our pride. We don't want to have to admit our faults. And we surely don't want to have to love like Jesus loves. So, we ignore the real problem, which is we don't want to be like Christ or love like Christ. We don't want to please God unless it's easy to do. We don't want to be sanctified. We don't want to deal with our sinful thoughts and actions. We don't want to be holy and without fault. You know what we want? We want to be happy, and we think because we're carnal and fleshly that in order to be happy, we got to be selfish. So, we want to be selfish. We want to get a divorce and find someone easier to love. We want someone who will do what I want, when I want, and how I want. We want someone who won't push our buttons. We want a new and improved spouse. And that's why most people divorce.
Listen to me. This is so important. I want you to write it down. This is a principle. You ready? God does not fix marriages. God fixes people. Amen. That's good. Let me say that again. God does not fix marriages. God fixes people. So if your marriage is in trouble, don't go ask God to fix it. Ask God to fix you. How? I'm going to give you another principle. You taking notes? Write this down. That we're going to make application. I don't see anyone pulling out their phones to write this down. If you're young, you're going to get married one day. I'd write this down. Here it is. The more Christlike you become, the better your marriage.