Transcription
All righty, guys. Welcome back to the channel. We have Skynet telling us about female nature. Now, I thought this was a good video. We got a lot of talking points to talk through, so I think it'll be a good one, a good rant. So, get ready. It's called What awaits her after she walks away from you. Let's do it.
You about divorce. Your ex-wife is about to walk straight into a psychological mindfield that she spent years convincing herself doesn't exist. And I'm not talking about some karma fantasy where she suddenly realizes what she lost and comes crying back. No, this is something much deeper, much more brutal. It's about what happens when someone trades certainty for illusion and watches that illusion crumble piece by piece.
Let me paint you a picture right now as you're watching this. There are millions of men sitting in their empty apartments, scrolling through their ex's Instagram, watching her post quotes about new beginnings and living her best life. And these men are torturing themselves, thinking she's out there thriving while they're drowning. But here's what's actually happening behind those filtered photos and motivational captions. She's about to collide with a reality so harsh that her brain will literally rewire itself just to cope with the cognitive dissonance.
>> You got to love it. Skynet is ruthless, isn't it? But I can't fault these channels because they just say it just how it is. So, what do women think they're going to get a lot of the time when they're looking outside of a marriage and want to leave? They think they're going to get excitement. Uh they're going to find somebody new. They're going to find someone who is an upgrade to you who will give them everything they want or they'll have a better deal than what you're giving them. That's what I think is going to happen that they're going to have a lot of suitors, a lot of men wanting to take them out like it's the Bachelor and they're the Bachelorette and they're having all these men just fall over her and wanting to get married.
What actually happens? Well, let's talk about that. These women, they will have destroyed a guy and they end up going straight on to dating apps without a care in the world. They're on multiple of them. We got the whole suite. Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, Okay Cupid, the list goes on. Plenty of fish. Got the same pictures. They got the same profile set up. And they're out there casting a wide net looking for men. Who do they find? They don't find Mr. Amazing, Mr. Wright, who they thought was going to easily just fall into her lap and she was going to live happily ever after. No. What she gets are guys who are going to lie to her because they know exactly what she is and sell her a dream that they're never going to deliver on. They end up starting off optimistic are having a lot of fun going on dates with different men, bragging to their friends about it, laughing and cackling about it. And eventually over time they start getting a bit more disgruntled because these guys, they're not they're not committing. They're leading her on and she's starting to realize that and she starts to panic a little bit. She starts to think that that decision she made might not have been the best one.
Now, this isn't about having, as I said, the guy said, a revenge fantasy. She's done with you no matter what happens. She's not going back to you. You're dead to her. But she's going to regret leaving a good deal with nothing. So, let me let me reiterate that. It's not you. She's not going to be crying over you that she made a dumb decision and wants to come back because she loves you. It's because she's [ __ ] ruined her life.
Now, do they come back cap in hand most of the time? No. She'll be out there still banging her head up against the wall like the hundreds and thousands of women every day that we see on the dating apps complaining, talking about their standards and what they deserve, how men aren't approaching and men aren't shiverous and want to take them on dates, how hard it is out there, how hard she's trying with dating but getting nowhere. That's what she becomes after a few years of this. She ends up becoming institutionalized on dating apps. She come she ends up becoming a perma human fleshlight for Chad Steos and Bryce's.
When these older men stop showing her attention, the well put together older men, i.e. the men her age, she'll start bragging that she can get younger men and she'll think it's fantastic. She's got a 20, she's 43 and she can get a 27-year-old who's going to come and just smash her box in like she hasn't had happen to her in 5 or 10 years. She thinks she's still got it. She's still pulling younger dudes, not realizing that these young guys, the only reason why they're getting with her is because she's an easy target. These young Steos, they smell blood in the water. Someone getting lonely and desperate for validation from young attractive men. These are the ones that the guys they'll laugh about it. They'll tell their mates about it. They'll say how they had her upside down swinging her around by her legs in the bedroom. Had her up in the Lex Luga torture rack. Dropped the Hulk Hogan leg drop across her neck on the bed. She was asking for it. She wanted it. Double anal fisting everything. They're laughing. Steo, tell us about that old boiler you got. But they think if they put in these performances that these guys are going to hang around and potentially become boyfriends, which is something that is just never going to happen. That's a timeline.
Now, I'm not going to say this happens to all divorced women, but the ones who have listened to friends, have listened to women who have recently divorced husbands who are out doing that exact thing, and they don't want to miss out, and they want to get out there and date and do double dates and all this kind of nonsense. These are the ones that that happens to. As I said, these women, they think always in their mind that they're going to have the same level of attention and desire from men as what they had when they were young, when they were at their peak of looks and liveliness and carefree in terms of attitude.
Now you get these women who are starting to become bitter, disgruntled, angry, confrontational. You will see dating app profiles that'll have the key points we always talk about. Had my fun. It's don't want any more fun. It's time to settle down. Dating for intention. Looking for my person. The list goes on. Not realizing just how completely delusional that comes across to anybody who's got their life together reading that profile.
See, when a woman leaves a marriage, especially one that lasted years, she's not just leaving you. She's leaving an entire psychological ecosystem that she doesn't even realize exists. Think about this for a second. For however long you were together, you were her reference point for everything. Every decision, every emotion, every plan for the future had you somewhere in the equation. Even when she was complaining about you to her friends, you were still the center of her psychological universe. And now, now she's floating in space without gravity, trying to convince herself that weightlessness is freedom.
But let's get specific about what actually unfolds. Because the pattern is so predictable, it's almost mathematical. The first phase is the honeymoon with herself. This lasts anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months. She's high on her own decision. Every morning she wakes up and mentally congratulates herself for being so brave, so strong, so independent. She redecorates the house, starts that yoga class she always talked about, maybe downloads a dating app just to see what's out there. Maybe they they're already they're straight on them the day after. That's the first thing they're doing. That's the first thing they're doing. I'm telling you, I went out with many women, talked to many women who were in this exact situation. And for me, and I've talked about this a number of times, this is what really opened my eyes to just how women view men as temporary, are transactional, and are very difficult to be able to trust, not not trustworthy. Their word is not trustworthy in any way.
What did I see? Women who are literally two weeks out from a separation. They're starting to get into the midst of dealing with solicitors and going back and forward with their husbands. They're not divorced yet, so still their husbands. They're going through all that fighting, all that argumenting, trying to rip money out of dudes, and then complaining to guys on dating apps that their husband who they've just pulled the rug out under is a see you next Tuesday because he won't give her what she wants. Now, I had many women tell me, "Oh, I've had such a bad day today. Life's going [ __ ] at the moment." Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, so and so is acting up. You know, all I want is this and he's not giving it to me. And he's sending me letters and I have to send him letters and blahy blah blah blah and you go yeah next thing you know you're banging the absolute ass off it. So she's out carefree scheming complaining about you thinking about how she can get what she can get out of you while going and banging other dudes thinking that some of these guys will turn into something serious.
I've had women who have been out of relationships and long-term marriages for only two to three months who say they're now healed and are looking to find their person. I [ __ ] you not. They're not even they're not even divorced. Saying they want to find their person, i.e. replace the guy that they're ruining the life of and not realizing how that comes across to a guy who has his eyes wide open, who is looking at this behavior and is saying, "No, not a chance. Not a chance." Guys, put in the comments if you've had the same observation as well. It is absolutely rife out there.
>> Her friends are feeding her validation like it's cocaine. You look amazing. You're glowing. You deserve so much better. And she believes it. God, does she believe it. During this phase, she's not actually living in reality. She's living in a story she's telling herself about reality. The story where she's the heroine who escaped from mediocrity, where endless possibilities are waiting just around the corner. Her phone is buzzing with matches and messages. Men are giving her attention she hasn't felt in years. She interprets this as evidence that she made the right choice. What she doesn't realize is that she's mistaking quantity for quality, attention for intention, and novelty for value.
Then comes phase two, and this is where things get interesting. I want to talk about phase one. Just one final thing which I find is very chilling and very telling about how cold the woman's heart is. They all have it inside of them whether they act all act on it or not, but just how cold they can be. They could have completely upended your life, drained your bank accounts, got you kicked out of your house, and they could not give two shits about how that man is feeling about it. It's all about them. A lot of the time, and I've spoken about this quite a bit, a lot of the time, these women also have little kids. They have a family that they've broken up out of being purely selfish. Two-year-olds, one-year-olds, 5-year-old kids, you know, 35, 40-year-old women all over dating apps. They've gone and left. Left to go and meet other men while they've got these little kids who are desperately wanting their mom and dad to be together. And I found that for me to be probably the biggest eye opener. Not giving a [ __ ]. They say they care about the kids, but not giving a [ __ ]. They had all the choice, all the agency in this decision to try and keep that family together. They bailed. And kids, especially when very young, do not deal with mom and dad breaking up. Well, what are they going to go in there do then as well? They're going to poison the kids against dad. And that is the most ruthless, treacherous thing that women do. And it is very common. I saw all these things firsthand multiple times. I've seen it happen to my my best friend Good old Lazar. I've seen it happen to other guys in my network. You hear more stories the older you get. You'll be out, you're having a beer with a few mates, they like, "Oh, did you hear about so and so? His wife left him and she's absolutely just destroying him in court." Like, you hear about this stuff now. It becomes more and more common.
The awakening, though, it's more like a slow motion car crash. It starts with small things. She goes on her first real date since the divorce. The guy seems perfect on paper. Good-looking, successful, says all the right things. They have dinner, maybe drinks. Everything seems to be going well. Then at the end of the night, he makes his move. And suddenly, she realizes something that hits her like a bucket of ice water. This man doesn't actually care about her. Not really. He doesn't know that she's scared of thunderstorms or that she can't sleep without checking the door is locked three times or that she cries during that one commercial with the dogs. To him, she's just Friday night. And that's when the first crack appears in her narrative. But she pushes through because admitting doubt now would mean admitting she might have made a mistake. And that's psychologically unbearable.
>> That's the Jedi High Council there. They're all gas bagging. It's interesting to see how far technology has come. I'm slightly off topic that these videos can be made and these images made to accompany what this person's talking about or computer is talking about. So, she doubles down. More dates, more apps, more nights out with the girls. Except now something's different. The attention doesn't feel quite as intoxicating. The compliments feel hollow. She starts noticing things. How these men talk about their ex-wives, how they interact with waiters, how quickly they try to escalate things physically. And slowly, without even realizing it, she starts comparing them to you. Not consciously, mind you. Consciously, she's still maintaining the story that you were the problem. But subconsciously, her brain is doing what brains do. It's pattern matching. It's comparing and contrasting. That guy who seems so charming. He talks over her constantly. The one with the great job, he's emotionally unavailable. The fun, spontaneous one.
>> You're not emotionally unavailable. I love that term because that means you're doing something right. That means that you know the game and you are protecting yourself. You are protecting your mental health, your physical health, and your financial health. Most of these women, especially if you've been divorced too, and you're going out to dating other divorced women, it's a complete dumpster fire. It's a complete basket case. 95% maybe even more. They're just not worth it. They're just not worth it. They are this. And a lot of guys start learning this. Especially guys who have been married and are still able to pull chicks on the other side of a divorce. They go, "You know what? I saw what I got. I saw what I got. I went through it. I experienced it. I gave X, Y, and Z. I got zero back. Why would I now when I am free again enter into this arrangement again only to end up exactly back where I was only a matter of few short years away? You start looking into the future. Looking into that crystal ball. People will call you bitter. People will call you scared. People will tell you to move on. But once you've seen it, once you've experienced it and if you've done your homework and and put the dots together, it's just something you cannot unsee and it's not a risk that you could take. Not as willy-nilly as you would have before.
He's actually just irresponsible and drinks too much. And with each comparison, you start looking better in hindsight. Not because you were perfect, but because you were known, you were safe, you were home. This is when phase 3 kicks in. The panic, it's usually around the 6 to 8 month mark. The novelty has completely worn off. Her friends are tired of hearing about her dating adventures. Her kids, if you have them, are acting out because their world has been shattered, and she's been too busy finding herself to notice. She's exhausted from keeping up the performance of being happy because that's what it is now, a performance. Every "I'm living my best life" post takes more effort. Every smile in public feels heavier. She's an actress who's forgotten why she took the role. The panic manifests in different ways. Some women go into overdrive, becoming almost manic in their pursuit of validation. More dates, more activities, more anything to avoid sitting still with their thoughts. Others retreat, spending entire weekends in bed, scrolling through old photos, trying to figure out where everything went wrong. But they all share one thing in common. They start rewriting history. The marriage that was so terrible. Maybe it wasn't that bad. You, the person she couldn't stand to be around. Maybe she was too harsh. The future.
>> I don't know about that. I think this this computer man is giving women way too much credit. They're going to double down on that. They're going to say, "I'm in this bad this I'm in this bad situation in my life. I'm where I didn't think I was going to be, but anything is better than where I was because he was so horrible to be around. He was, you know, boring. We were roommates. I wasn't sexually attracted to him. He didn't do it for me. He wasn't romantic. He was Joseph Fritzl. The list goes on. Anything is better. I've had women say to me, "I had to escape from my own life." It's like, "Okay, that's a bit dramatic. I had to do it. I had to leave. I had to run." Now, I'm not saying all women lie about things. I say the vast majority do. They ruin it for the ones that aren't lying. They make out the guy. The guy was Ted Bundy. And they're happy with how they ended up. And that's how they cope. I think as well time is very cruel to women because they experience life everything everything is given to them if they're somewhat attractive half attractive by men. Men line up to try and get the girl. Men line up to try and get the commitment and they try and marry him. They will buy them houses, cars, do everything they need to do. But then as time goes on and these women, they think they they still got it. They might be 35, 40 in a marriage they've been in for 10 years and you know it's it's it's become crunch time. Okay, you got a financial crisis happening, cost of living crisis, maybe the husband, he's trying to crack down on bills, frivolous spending, you know, let's get some money in our accounts. Let's let's get a rainy day fund going. That becomes boring. She starts thinking, "Well, all my girlfriends, especially the divorce ones, they're out there having all this awesome time. I've got this boring guy at home locking me up in the house without letting me spend any money." What do they do? They then go back on the market and men don't look at him the same way as they used to. And I think mother nature is cruel, but mother nature gives and father time takes away.
She was so sure about maybe she miscalculated. And here's where it gets really psychological. She can't just admit she made a mistake that would destroy her entire sense of self. She spent months, maybe years, building an identity around being the woman who was brave enough to leave. Her entire social narrative is constructed on this foundation. So instead, she does something fascinating. She creates a new story. One where maybe you've changed. Maybe you've grown. Maybe if things were different now, it could work. This allows her to entertain the idea of reconciliation without admitting she was wrong.
Meanwhile, let's talk about what's happening in the dating world she's navigating. Because this is where reality really bites. The dating pool for a divorced woman, especially one with kids, is not what romantic comedies would have you believe. The men who are interested, fall into a few predictable categories. There are the players who see her as an easy target, someone vulnerable and eager to feel desired. There are the married men looking for affairs who conveniently forget to mention their wives until several dates in. There are the perpetually single guys who are single for very good reasons she's about to discover. And yes, there are some genuinely good men, but they're either taken or have options, lots of options. And she's competing with women who don't come with the baggage of divorce and children.
One other thing, too, is they could always find somebody. That's the thing. That's the curse of women and choice. And this is a very uh telling screen. These women believe that if they just hold out, if they just hold out, Prince Charming will come along on the dating apps or he's going to come and knock on the door. I don't I don't believe in that notion that a woman hits 35 or she hits 40 or 45 and men don't want her and she can't get a relationship. I don't think that's true. Men will always chase them their whole lives. But the men that are going to want her, she's not going to want a bar of them. They're going to be a step down from maybe what she already had and from what she's been going out and dating and getting her, you know, cheeks clapped in by your normal average guy out there who might be predictable, not exciting, he's got no chance. Even with 45-year-old single moms with three kids, I can tell you this, my really good friend Larry, he goes out there all the time and gets just treated like absolute [ __ ] by single moms with like three and four kids. Why? He's too predictable. He's too nice. Then they'll find something after two or three months. They'll find a reason to get rid of him because he served his purpose and they realize he's not it. They'll find some reason not to have him in their life anymore. And he gets brutally dumped and rejected when he would have probably moved them into his house. He would have been a second husband. And people say, "How did how does he keep punching himself in the balls like this?" They punch himself in the nuts. Some guys never learn. Some guys will never learn or want to know the truth. Or even if they think they know it, they never accept it and internalize it at all. They might watch content like mine um and many other creators, bigger creators than me who might say a similar but different message. They think that they have listened to it. They think that they have learned something and the moment a woman comes along that all goes out the window. Completely forgotten about it and they've just relapsed into the same chain of thought as what they've always had. Anyway, I digress there. But there is always a guy. They can get guys. It's just not the ones they want.
She starts to realize something terrifying. The market value she thought she had doesn't exist. All those matches on dating apps, they're mirages. They match with everyone. Those compliments about how beautiful she is. They're copying and pasting them to dozens of women. That chemistry she felt. He feels it with anyone who's willing to sleep with him. The harsh economics of dating after divorce hit her like a professional boxer. She's not special. She's not unique. She's just another profile among thousands.
Phase four is the reckoning. This usually happens around the 1-year mark, though it can take longer for women who are particularly stubborn or particularly good at self-deception. The reckoning is when the psychological defense mechanisms finally fail. She can't maintain the story anymore. The loneliness is crushing. Not the kind of loneliness where you wish someone was around, but the existential kind where you realize you've blown up your entire life for a fantasy that doesn't exist. She'll be sitting in her apartment one night, maybe after another disappointing date or another weekend where the kids are with you, and it will hit her all at once. The magnitude of what she's done, the irreversibility of it, the fact that she traded a flawed but real relationship for a perfect but imaginary one. A perfect but imaginary one that would never ever become a reality.
That's the thing. I think good old computer man has summed up basically in his video what I was saying at the start for the first sort of 5-minute rant that I had. It's sad to see some some some never learn. Like this video assumes that they're going to be sitting there after a year crying into their wine that they've made a bad decision. They're not crying into their wine. They've made a decision a bad decision about you at all. They're having a winch to their friends because men aren't [ __ ] anymore. Men aren't taking them out. That there is never any reflection or accountability on themselves for [ __ ] up not their life, not your life, but the lives of little children that are a lot of the time involved. There's no there's no accountability for that. As they say, men sacrifice their happiness for the family and women sacrifice the family for their happiness. And I I couldn't have heard a more truer a more truer quote.
And the weight of this realization is so heavy that some women literally can't process it. Their brains shut down the emotional centers just to survive it. This is when the late night texts start. You know the ones. They usually come between 11:00 p.m. and 2:00 a.m. They start casual. Hey, how are you? Or I was just thinking about that time we. But what she's really saying is, I'm drowning and you're the only life jacket I remember. Sometimes they're angry texts blaming you for things that happened years ago because anger is easier than regret. Sometimes they're sad texts reminiscing about good times.
>> This is like Pixar DreamWorks buddy Pixar slurries. >> Testing to see if there's still a connection. But they all mean the same thing. The grass wasn't greener. It was artificial turf.
But here's what's really happening in her brain during all of this. She's experiencing cognitive >> sitting in the middle of the table >> of dissonance at a level that's actually changing her neural pathways. Every day her brain has to reconcile two incompatible truths. I made the right decision leaving and I'm miserable and everything is worse. Now the psychological stress of maintaining these contradictory beliefs is literally exhausting.
What I've also seen is women who will do one or two things. They'll just get with any guy who will have her just to get themselves off the dating apps and feeling like a complete failure. Or they double down and they also get very angry and disgruntled at the ex-husband which they threw uh to the curb if he's improved his life, if he's met somebody else maybe and he's started a new family and he's gotten his uh finances in better order and track and she's stalking his Facebook and Instagram. He's found out she he's got a girlfriend. She's stalking the girlfriends, all her photos. She goes back 10 years of her history. You know, she knows everything about it. And she gets angry because he's moved on. And she's having no luck. And once again, it's not about feeling sorry for the guy. It's all about her. It affects her sleep, her appetite, her ability to concentrate. Some women develop anxiety disorders. Others fall into depression. Many develop a kind of emotional numbness where they can't feel anything deeply anymore because feeling would mean confronting the truth.
Let me tell you about the Sunday night syndrome. It's this phenomenon where divorced women have their worst moments on Sunday nights. Know why? Because Sunday night is when the performance ends. The weekend is over. The distractions are gone. The kids are asleep or at your place. Tomorrow is Monday and another week of pretending everything is fine. And in that quiet moment, usually between getting ready for bed and actually falling asleep, the truth creeps in. She's alone. Really alone. Not independent, not free, not empowered, just alone. And the universe has a cruel sense of humor about this because right around the time she's reaching peak regret, you're probably starting to heal. You've gone through your own phases, the shock, the anger, the sadness. But men typically process divorce differently. We internalize. We rebuild. We focus on action rather than emotion. So, by the time she's realizing what she's lost, you've already started becoming someone new, someone better, someone who learned from the marriage and the divorce. Someone who, ironically, might have been the man she wanted you to be all along. This creates a psychological torture chamber for her because now she can see the version of you she always said she wanted, but it's too late. You achieved it without her because of losing her and the knowledge that she catalyzed your improvement, but won't benefit from it. That's a special kind of hell that keeps her up at night.
Let's talk about what happens with her social circle during all this because women's friendships, especially around divorce, are fascinating from a psychological perspective.
>> Before he gets into it, I want to talk about this is what I've seen as well. So, um, what'll happen is there'll be a group of girls, group of women, whatever you want to call them. One of them will get divorced and that'll set off a chain chain reaction like all the dominoes tipping over and she'll start poisoning that group because she'll be coming and saying how much of a great time she's having. They'll be laughing, carrying on. They can't wait to see her at brunch or lunch or whatever it is because they want to hear all their dating stories. They want to live through him, live through her because they're not having fun at home. It's boring. It's predictable. Then these women, they start their their marriages start dropping like flies and then the full group gets back together again or most of them get back together again. Some of the women might see what's going on and distance them distance themselves. The husbands of these women might say, "Hey, I don't want you hanging out with them because they're a bad influence. Look at what's happening." But what'll happen is these women who have encouraged women to become single, blow up their families, leave husbands, like literally wreck their lives, change the trajectory of their lives forever. They as soon as they get a boyfriend or something more serious, they disappear off the scene. And these women are left scratching their vag. Then they're ending up with no mates. So they thought they're going to go into this sex in the city lifestyle. And then their other friends who have become single start dropping too and meeting dudes and then discarding them, discarding the friendships, the thing that she left that she thought she was going to get. The excitement, the girls trips which only lasts a certain amount of time.
Initially, her friends are her cheerleaders. They rallied around her, told her she deserved better, helped her create the narrative that leaving was brave and right. But as months pass, dynamics shift. Her married friends start to distance themselves. Not consciously, but instinctively. She's now a threat, a reminder that marriages end. A single woman who might attract their husband's attention. The invitations to couple's dinners stop coming. The group chats move on without her. Her single friends, the ones she thought would be her new tribe. They're competition now. They're all fishing in the same limited pond. And friendship becomes secondary to survival. Plus, she's not really single like them. She has baggage, history, kids. Maybe she's in a different category, and everyone knows it, even if no one says it. So, her social world, which was supposed to expand after divorce, actually contracts. She finds herself with fewer real friends than ever before. The loneliness compounds. The support system she counted on reveals itself to be conditional and fair weather.
And she really I'm going to leave it there, guys, but I know I've gone about half an hour. I don't want to push the uh push the friendship here. I'm going to put the video uh I'm going to link it in the video description. Go and watch it. I think it's a good one. I think this AI computer man, he knows his [ __ ]. See you in the next one. Have a great day. Cheers.