Transcription
How do you deal with upset, high net worth clients? I've got a client who's furious with me. I apologized immediately, but now they're ignoring my calls and emails. I don't want to make things worse, but I also can't just leave it. That's from Jonathan.
>> That sounds like Jonathan might well be in the wrong there.
>> Well, sure Jonathan is in the wrong with a guilty conscience as well. I mean, >> because >> the thing is when a wealthy client goes silent after you apologized, >> it's that's not entitlement. Although most people think it is, >> it's because you've really dropped the ball. And you know, silence, I suppose, is their way of saying, "Well, we both know what happened now. Show me who you are afterwards."
>> I mean, it's so much worse than shouting, isn't it? At least if someone's shouting, you can parry. You can have a conversation. Whereas silence just >> feels like a complete exile of you.
>> Yeah. I mean, I'm not a shoutter. My father wasn't a shoutter either.
>> No, I don't.
>> Silence is a power move, isn't it?
>> Because behaviorally, it creates uncertainty. And I mean, I've said this loads of different times, the brain hates uncertainty.
>> Um, and it hates it much more than bad news. And I suppose that's why that's why Jonathan wants to chase.
>> But the the whole chasing thing shows panic and panic signals weakness and weakness convinces the client that they're right to be furious.
>> Right. So then you just apologize once and then sit in the discomfort.
>> Yeah. Exactly. Well, you know, here's the thing with with high net worth clients and and wealthy clients. They operate with something called trust asymmetry. So it means that one mistake can absolutely outweigh 10 successes and that's because negativity bias becomes magnified. So in luxury work, trust is the product.
>> That's what's lethal really, isn't it? If you don't if you don't manage it properly.
>> Well, yeah. And which is why then of course over apologizing makes it worse.
>> Right. Over apologizing just reminds them of the failure. So one clear apology plus a solution >> that's it. Anything more than that looks like begging I suppose.
>> C >> can you give me an example?
>> Yeah. So let's say um let's say a Savo Taylor mismeasures a cuff. So if he >> if he collapses into endless apologies, >> the client then thinks, well, you know, if he can't handle a cuff, can he handle the rest?
>> But if he says, you know what, I've measured wrong, I've corrected it, it won't happen again, and then delivers flawlessly for the next five visits. And this is really important. It's not just a matter of I'm really sorry, I found it. I fixed it and move on.
>> Mhm.
>> You have to do it consistently then until the trust is rebuilt.
>> Yeah. Because well competence will overwrite the error. Right.
>> Right. Exactly. And that's I mean that's called competence signaling. So in behavioral terms people don't remember the apology. They remember the pattern that followed the apology. So what what happens then um about like in advisory work for example the stakes are so much higher in that >> like in a service industry where there's no physical product.
>> Yeah, absolutely.
>> I mean, I've seen a wealth manager botch an allocation.
>> A serious botch.
>> That is, >> oh my goodness, me.
>> But he admitted it, you know, he laid out the fix and then he spent the guts of a year overd delivering on the reporting and the client stayed because the new pattern of behavior rewrote the story. And that's I think what's crucial. People forgive mistakes >> far more than they would forgive patterns.
>> Okay. So, Jonathan's mistake is turning one error into a pattern by chasing.
>> Exactly that. So, three voicemails and four sorryries again emails, you know, makes well, it makes you look flustered, doesn't it? You know, and that's actually worse than the original, but also makes you look super needy.
>> Very needy. And it's Oh, no. Yeah. I wouldn't like that as a customer. But where Jonathan's concerned, what does he do now?
>> Just send one final message. Here's what went wrong. Here's what I've done to ensure that it doesn't reoccur. You'll see the difference. And then he stops. You know, he lets the silence hang.
>> Okay. And then overdelivers quietly kind of consistently or
>> Absolutely. You have to overd deliver. That's the only way to bring trust back. And it's slow, >> you know, be within psychology, it's called a credence test. The client doesn't know yet if you've changed. So, they're going to wait and see the evidence cuz they don't just because you've apologies. People think, "Oh, because I've apologized, I've regained the trust." No, you have to see the evidence.
>> Yeah, 100%. But thinking of poor Jonathan sitting in his panicked state and having had yeah traumatized probably stonewalled by his own mother and you know feels this whole thing of the silence and therefore what does he do if he can't stand that silence?
>> Get out of the luxury industry.
>> Oh god. Because high net worth clients they can forgive almost anything >> except excuses. So, if you can't take the hit with composure, you're never going to last.
>> Okay. Can you give us a like lighter example? Cuz this is all feeling quite scary and terrifying right now.
>> Okay, fine. Just so that But I mean, it's the reality. But, you know, here's the thing. You know, um I had a jeweler client who mixed up one of their clients engraving. So they put the wrong initials inside the back of the PC Philippe.
>> The client was they were li Yeah, absolutely. A 70,000 pound watch. The client was livid. Livid naturally. Naturally, >> rightly so.
>> Oh, >> so the the jeweler apologized once, then corrected it, >> and then for the next 6 months made sure that every single interaction with that client was immaculate because, you know, and they personally delivered every single other piece that that person bought. So they they made notes the you know >> they did it really really well and that client forgave them simply because >> they showed a pattern of making sure that it would never happen again. But then you know imagine if the jeweler had sent graveling emails every week. They'd never have been trusted with anything ever again would they?
>> Well no because you're also reminding them aren't you? And so when you're completely dead wrong, even then in that situation, the principles completely the same. So you own it uh once, fix it, and then prove competence until their memory of your incompetence fades.
>> Disappears. Exactly. I mean, it in luxury, to be quite honest with you, the competence is the only real apology. Everything else is just noise. No. Yeah.