Transcription
be feeling inspired by that person instead.
So what you want to do is shift that perspective and remind yourself that there is enough for everyone. You can reframe it by saying, “If they can do that, then so can I.” This mindset transformation opens you up to the possibilities in your own life instead of keeping you tied down by fear and insecurities.
Another technique is to practice gratitude for your journey and what you have accomplished. When you appreciate your strengths and achievements, it becomes easier to find inspiration in the success of others rather than feeling threatened or envious.
Surround yourself with people who inspire you and lift you up rather than bring you down. Engaging with a supportive community can remind you that everyone's path is different and encourage you to focus on your personal growth rather than comparison.
Lastly, consider following people on social media who spread positivity and inspiration rather than those who evoke negative emotions. It's easier to cultivate inspiration when you curate your environment to support that mindset.
By consciously making these shifts, you can train your brain to look for inspiration instead of envy, thus enhancing your overall manifesting journey.
In conclusion, cultivating a mindset of abundance versus scarcity is key to transforming feelings of envy into inspiration. Recognize your feelings, shift your perspective, practice gratitude, surround yourself with positivity, and curate your social media connections. This way, you can keep growing and achieving while celebrating the successes of others along the way.
Just recognize that I've seen this person succeeding or doing this thing that I really want to be doing, and it's giving me that pang, you know? It's a pang I feel like it's a feeling you get in your tummy when you're like, "Oh!" It just makes you feel off. So, not judging yourself for feeling that way.
I mean, look at kids—they get jealous, you know? They experience it in their earliest years where another kid's got their toys. It's a very natural emotion for us to experience, so we should absolutely not be judging ourselves for it. But being able to be aware of when it's happening and then make a decision to turn that into an inspired thought.
Let's see; you see someone on holiday, and your first thought is like, "Oh, I can't believe they're on holiday again." Instead, you can say, "Wow! That's actually really reminded me how much I want to travel, and I'm going to add that place to my vision board."
So, you always have an opportunity to turn it into an inspired thought. Inspiration comes from an abundant mindset. It says there is enough for us all. And, you know, inspiration has this much more high vibrational quality. I think when you're on your manifesting journey, you can go a step further and actually seek out to be inspired. You know, look for people that show you what's possible.
Have you experienced much negativity with the success that you've had?
I haven't really, firsthand. I feel like I've been quite lucky that I don't have like trolls and things like that. But I'll be the first one, though. Oh, thank you so much! Just give me a taste—just see you commenting underneath today.
But I would say that, yes, of course, I am very aware that there are people behind my back saying [ __ ]. Of course, there are. But, I mean, I don't care because nobody can be liked by everybody. I just want to hope that the people that are meant to hear my message will, and anyone else, you know, it's insignificant to me really.
I think it's important to take that pressure off and that need to be liked by everyone. There's a great quote which says, "Stop trying to be liked by everyone; you don't even like everyone."
Yeah, and it's so—it's so honestly liberating and freeing when you take that pressure off. What did it for me was when I realized that I thought about, you know, the people that I really admire, you know, whether it was celebrities or other speakers or even just friends of mine. I thought about those people, and I thought, “Well, as many people that there are that like them, there are as many that don't like them, that find them irritating, or that find them, you know, whatever.”
I thought, right, there's nobody on earth that is universally liked, and so I don't need to be liked by everyone. Everything becomes easier when you have that mentality. Not that you want to walk around being a dick; like you should sort of be a good person. But at the end of the day, it allows you space to be yourself and to be authentic, and authenticity is magnetic, you know?
It really is. I think you can really be hugely authentic if you are trying to please everyone because you're the type of personality that you would have to have, and the content that you would make would be so boring and just generic. Like even with myself—if I tried to literally please everyone and not offend anybody, my content would be so boring. I couldn't be myself; like I literally couldn't be myself.
If you can't be yourself, then you're not being authentic, and then you're just not going to stand out at all. I think that's—if you do want to have any degree of success on social media, you have to be yourself, and you have to kind of figure out a way of standing out. Maybe you're going to have to voice your opinions.
Yeah, and if you have opinions, particularly strong opinions, then you're going to get people who will have different opinions, yeah, and people who won't like you.
Yeah, definitely. I think especially now, I mean, everybody, it's hard, I guess it’s hard to show up on social media authentically if you don't have that thick skin, I suppose, because people are so mean. Like there are a lot of unhealed people who are just so horrible to others.
And I definitely—I always say like I'm absolutely prepping myself for the take down because people only build people up to take them down, especially in the UK. So, I'm mentally prepping myself for that. I mean, I hope it doesn't happen, but I'm prepared if it does.
You just reply to people. I, me, I don't really reply to anyone. You just reply with like a really overly positive response, and they're like, "What the [ __]?!" Or you just say like, "Oh, I really do hope that you're healing through whatever that you're going through right now because you must really be suffering."
I think what else is quite interesting as well, this is what I wanted to discuss with you, that I guess there's like a—you talk about loving yourself and the importance of loving yourself, but then if you do that too much, do you become selfish? And is there a problem with being selfish? Because I've actually had some people say to me, they're like, "Oh, you're so selfish." And then I think, well, yeah, I am. I am. I'm looking after myself.
Like I had once upon a time being in a position where I tried to please everybody. Like I really tried to go out of my way to make everybody else happy. And the problem is when you start to see some success, you get more people wanting favors. And if you are like overly nice and naive, and you do all these favors and you say yes to everything, you end up getting almost abused or taken advantage of.
Yeah, so I've had to be a little bit more selfish to protect myself and my time and my energy. Because if I want to get to the position that I want to be in—if I'm manifesting these things—I have to be selfish to some degree, because if I'm not, then I'm not going to be able to achieve those things.
Yeah, I think it's a really good question to bring up. I think that actually one of the reasons people struggle with self-love or being able to have, you know, that ability to set boundaries and, you know, honor their needs is because they have this fear: "That's going to make me unlikable. It's going to make me a bad person."
But the truth is, you know, self-love is about honoring your needs, being able to set boundaries, and it's just a necessity for it. I think that you have to make a choice of what kind of life you want to live. If you want to live a life where you're pleasing everyone, then it will be at the expense of your own happiness.
You can be someone that puts yourself first, that doesn't say yes to everybody, that doesn't let people walk all over you, and still be a good and kind person. You know, you can be both. It's not that once you start putting yourself first you become a complete [ __ ]; it's just that you know your own worth, and you value yourself, and it means that you then have more love to give to the people that do really deserve it in your life.
I'm curious to know what it is that you are manifesting for yourself right now.
Oh, you know, it's a really good question because in the first few years of me doing this, I had so many goals. You know, when the book hadn't come out yet, and I remember so clearly that 2022 vision board—it was the book was like three days from coming out. And to be honest, I didn't really know if it was a good book; you know, I'd only had eight weeks to write it. I'd never written a book before.
But I was like, "I'm not going to let those fears and doubts get in my way." When I write my vision board, I always say to people, be as brave and courageous as possible. So I wrote down, you know, the Manifest book. I was put—Sunday Times bestseller, multiple languages, seen in airports, see people reading on holiday, American morning TV show. Like I was so specific. I put jetty; like I went so big on these goals.
And they all happened; they all manifested. And for 2023, the same again. Then when it came to this year, I didn't really have that same maybe ambition when it came to my career, because I feel like I'm in such an abundant place, and as long as things continue to grow forward, that's enough for me.
But actually, what I wanted to manifest was more balance. I felt that I'd actually turned my addiction from cocaine to work, which also isn't healthy. And I wanted to be able to have more fun this year and, you know, start dating again, and without cocaine, exactly.
And, you know, just enjoy life, be present, be mindful, enjoy my success. That's my focus at the moment. I think for me that's—I like, I'm ambitious, and there are lots of things which I want to do, but I also really enjoy having freedom and being able to just be like, "Oh, actually, today I don't want to do this; I want to go and do this."
I say, for example, going to Japan, I've spent like over two weeks there because I'm still in a position where I have that freedom. Whereas, if I go too much towards the work side of things and just constantly be like, "More money, more money, more achievements," I won't be in an opportunity where I can do the cool things that actually provide me with a lot of happiness.
I came back from that trip to Japan, like, I, yesterday I just woke up and I was like so down because I had like holiday blues. Oh, I was just like, "[ __ ]," that's the sign of a good trip. When you come away from one of those trips and you're feeling like that, I was like, don't be like depressed or sad that you feel this way.
I actually think the reason why you feel this way is because you had such a good time. So, like things like that, I just think, "Okay, yeah, that's fair enough." But yeah, moving forward, I have to be careful with thinking about what it is that I want because if you sometimes want too much of one thing, then it means you get less of another thing.
Yeah, like if you are completely and utterly obsessed with your career, you're probably not going to have the time or the energy to have a really great relationship where you go and travel and have all these experiences with your partner at the time.
So, I think sometimes certain things will take a priority, and then if you want that to change, then it's fine; you can change it. It's why on the vision board I put categories so that people are forced to look at their lives as a whole, rather than just focusing too much on just their career goals or just their relationship goals.
Because I think it can go the other way; people are so focused on finding a partner or being in a relationship, they actually forget to build themselves up as, you know, on their own and focus on their own purpose and drive.
And so it really is important to look at your life as a whole and, yeah, don't forget to live.
Yeah, are you based in London now?
Yeah, yeah, you still liking it?
Yeah, I love it. You know, I think I love London. My little boy's now at school there, and he loves it. But I really wanted to travel more this year, which I've been doing.
And where else is on the list to go?
Yeah, going to Italy! Oh, never been! Next week—I haven't been for years, and that was on my vision board to go back. So I'm going to Tuscany in a couple of weeks. I've already been to, like, we did loads of travel at the beginning of this year. I got to visit Sweden and New York and LA, and I'm going to Austin, Texas, which I can't wait for. Never been, but it seems so like such a cool hub there now.
Yeah, you should go on Chris Williamson's podcast. He's a good guy.
Can you link me up?
I'll try my best. And you have something in the pipeline as well, but I don't know if you can announce that yet or not.
Yeah, not yet, but I can tell you that I'm writing another book.
Okay, the fourth book?
Not on manifestation.
Part four?
No, no, actually, do you know what? Someone—when I had Manifest, Manifest, Dive Deeper, then Manifest for Kids, and then someone was like, "When's Manifest for Cats and Dogs?" I was like, "I get it; it's too much. I'm done with the manifesting."
As in, I will always talk about manifesting for me; it's the foundation of self-development. But there are no more manifesting books. I've said everything I can say on the matter. And now I'm going to bring out a new book around a different subject, but still within the healing space.
It's good that you're doing that because I think you mentioned as well how you can sometimes have a problem where you kind of get yourself stuck into this, I don't know, niche or thing you are known for, and then it can sometimes be quite hard to kind of get out of that, and you sometimes let it define you.
For me, obviously, I love going to the gym. So, I started going to the gym, became a personal trainer, then I was a coach. All the content I made on YouTube was related to the gym. So I was like, "Mike is the gym guy." Yeah, like, "That is he! He is in this category, and that's all he does."
And I was like, "I don't want to be just known as the gym guy."
That's when did you make that shift?
Then, I think it was 2018 or 2019, right where I was like, "I'm so bored of talking about this now because I've kind of said what needs to be said." I don't want to go back and keep repeating what's already been said. Of course, I can put my own spin on it, but there's some people in the fitness industry that just like literally run out of content that start making content which contradicts all the content because they're trying to get views.
And how did you find that? Because I think what's really interesting is you've, let's say, had a really established audience for something that you were doing, and then to take the risk essentially to do—go into a, you know, do things differently—did you find that you kind of lost some followers before you gained more?
I remember when I started, so I had a passion for travel, and I wanted to just get more of my personality out there. I had a personality which people—they didn't really see because it was like when I was on camera, I would speak to people as if they were my client. So it was quite a serious person and personality, and because I was doing a lot of coaching, I wanted to obviously get more people on board that would work with me that would pay me good money.
So I had to act like the coach that people want to work with, right? And it was just like very tiring because I just wanted to just be myself and be like a little bit stupid or silly or whatever. But I couldn't really do that because I was known as like "Mike the Coach."
Yeah, so I started the traveling and the vlogging, and I started to document it and I put the videos up. And then people would be like, "What the [ __ ] is this? Like, you don't make these videos! Go back to the fitness videos!"
So it was—I was in a position where I would still make the fitness videos to keep the existing subscribers happy, but then just start putting in a little bit of these other videos. And then I think gradually some people liked it, some people didn't like it or care, and then some people—I would find a lot of a new audience that didn't exist beforehand.
So of course, if you make gym videos about how to build muscle, you're only going to get people who are interested in building muscle. You start doing travel videos or videos on food and lifestyle; all of a sudden, you've got like everybody is interested in travel. Like I go and put these Japan videos out; I'm pretty sure everyone's pretty curious to know what Japan's like.
Yeah, so now I put out a poll. I think this was like a year ago. I was like, "Do you want to see more fitness, nutrition, training videos, or do you want more travel, vlog, lifestyle?" And it was 50/50!
Amazing!
Yeah, so you kind of got to keep both people happy, but you can't be afraid of wanting to reinvent yourself and evolve. Like even with this podcast thing, it was just like an extra thing that I wanted to add to my, I don't know, list of skills or what I'm about, and it’s definitely helped.
But also, we're all multifaceted humans, and we've got lots of different identities, and lots of things that we want to share. I think it's important to give ourselves permission to be more than one thing.
Yeah, for sure. So, thank you very much! Where can people find you on socials?
Roxy Ney on Instagram.
I'm not—do you use TikTok?
I'm not on it.
Uh, yeah, I'm on it. I’m so bad at it! I need to—I know a guy who’s pretty good at running TikTok accounts.
Okay, great!
So you need—yeah, you need a team. Get yourself on TikTok and YouTube as well. You should have your own channel!
100%! [ __ ] I told Sardia KH to do that and she's—I nearly got a million subscribers now.
Really?
Okay, you can give me some tips after this.
Nice! Thank you very much!
Thank you!