Transcription
Hello and welcome to a new episode. It's nice that you're here. You know, I used to often think that you always have to react quickly. If someone gets loud, you can't just put up with it, can you? If you feel treated unfairly, you have to say something immediately. Otherwise, you seem weak, otherwise you lose. Until one day I experienced something that changed everything. I remember it well, it was during my internship. There was a customer, a difficult one. He came in, annoyed, stressed, upset. Before I could even say a proper good day, he had already loudly complained about everything, about the product, about the service, about me. My face turned hot. I was speechless, and honestly. I wanted to say something, I wanted to defend myself, clarify something, give something back, but I couldn't. I just stood there until my supervisor came over. He listened to everything calmly. No eye-rolling, no annoyed sighing. He let the man speak, and when he was finished, he replied quietly, friendly, but clearly, point by point. And what happened? The tension subsided, slowly. The customer became calmer. In the end, he even left the office smiling. This scene is deeply etched in my memory, because for the first time I felt that not reacting. That is not weakness, that is real strength. And that's exactly what I want to talk to you about today, about the power of not reacting and about how we can learn to live as if nothing could easily upset us. Before we dive deeper, let's take a quick look. Why do we actually react so quickly? Often, a very natural reflex is behind it: self-protection. When someone criticizes us or gets loud, we feel attacked. Our ego, our pride, they want to fight back. So we strike back, quickly, loudly, harshly, to regain control. But it is precisely then that our emotions often take over. Anger, heat, pounding heart, acting before we think. And then what remains? An argument, hurtful words, feelings of guilt. Or this inner restlessness that doesn't go away quickly. Especially at work, an impulsive reaction can ruin a lot. Relationships, trust, sometimes even decisions. And maybe you're asking yourself now, but what should I do then? Just swallow everything? No, that's not what it's about at all. Not reacting doesn't mean being weak, and it doesn't mean we just accept everything. On the contrary, not reacting is a conscious action, the decision to keep control with yourself instead of giving it away to someone else. Victor Frankel once said: Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. When we learn not to react immediately, many things change, often more significantly than we think. Our mind becomes calmer. We get the time to really think and re-evaluate the situation. What is really happening here and what would be a wise reaction now? Our conversations also become clearer. We say less often something we regret later, we listen better, and we respond more consciously. And most importantly, we stay with ourselves. We don't get carried away, neither by anger nor by the mood of others. And all of this allows us to grow internally. We appear more stable, calmer for ourselves and also for the people around us. And maybe you're asking yourself now, that sounds nice, but how do you actually do that in everyday life? How do you manage to stay calm when everything is boiling inside? I'll tell you honestly, it's not always easy and it doesn't work every time, but there are a few things that have personally helped me. Small habits that act like a kind of safety net before I react. For example, I've learned to recognize my own warning signs in time. You know, that moment before you explode internally. For me, these are often fists that clench unconsciously. Rapid breathing, a gaze that jumps back and forth. When I notice that, I try to pause for a moment. I consciously relax my hands, fix my gaze on a steady point, and take three deep breaths. And sometimes, when possible, I simply leave the room for a moment, get a glass of water, or I take a piece of paper and simply write down what I actually wanted to say. Like a draft. This short moment sometimes acts like an inner brake. It prevents me from reacting impulsively. And suddenly I have a clear head again, something else that I like to do. I have prepared a few neutral, calm phrases for situations where someone is unfair or puts pressure on me. Something like "Let me think about that for a moment" or "I'll get back to you later." It sounds simple, but these phrases help me stay calm. They give me time to breathe and see the situation more clearly. And when I notice that I'm about to slip into fight mode, I consciously ask myself the question, would this reaction improve the situation or just make it worse? And one more thing, not all criticism is helpful. Keep only what helps you to grow, to develop further, to see more clearly. Because some criticism does not arise from care or clarity, but from frustration, envy, or insecurity. It is an expression of pain that someone else does not want to bear and wants to quietly place in your hands. But you are allowed to say no. You don't have to accept this pain. And something is very important. Not reacting does not mean swallowing everything inside, and it doesn't mean pretending that everything is okay. Because if we constantly suppress our feelings, they don't just disappear. They accumulate and at some point they show up as inner restlessness, tension, pressure, or deep exhaustion. That's why it's so important to regularly find a way to release pressure by writing down what's going on inside us. Through movement, e.g., going for a walk, stretching a bit, or doing sports, or through an honest conversation with someone we truly trust. And maybe you're realizing right now that not reacting doesn't just mean enduring, and it doesn't mean that there are no feelings. On the contrary, we feel, but we don't let ourselves be overwhelmed. We choose silence. We listen, observe, breathe, and then we consciously decide what is truly good for us now. And that's where strength begins. Thank you for being here again today. If you liked this video, give us a thumbs up, share it with your friends, and subscribe to our channel so you don't miss our next video. Until the next episode.
Reacting: to answer or act after something has happened. For example, I didn't know how to react to his question.
Warning signal: a sign that indicates danger or a problem. For example, The loud alarm was a clear warning signal.
Pounding heart: a faster or stronger beating heart, often due to excitement or fear. For example, I had a pounding heart before the job interview.
Upset: very excited or angry. For example, She was so upset that she could barely speak a word.
Strike back: to respond to an attack with a counter-attack. For example, If you insult him, he strikes back immediately.
Argument: a heated discussion or conflict. For example, There was often an argument between the siblings.
Impulsive: acting on a sudden feeling, quickly and without thinking. For example, She bought the dress impulsively, without thinking for a long time.
Choice: the possibility to decide on something. For example, You have the choice between tea and coffee.
Ego: one's own self, a person's self-image. For example, The criticism hurt his ego.
Fist: the hand with the fingers tightly closed. For example, He clenched his fist angrily.
Pride: a good feeling about one's own achievement or about someone. For example, She was full of pride when her son won the prize.
Supervisor: a person who takes care of or supports others. For example, The students could always turn to their supervisor with questions.
Hello and welcome to a new episode. It's nice that you're here. You know, I used to often think that you always have to react quickly. If someone gets loud, you can't just put up with it, can you? If you feel treated unfairly, you have to say something immediately. Otherwise, you seem weak, otherwise you lose. Until one day I experienced something that changed everything. I remember it well. It was during my internship. There was a customer, a difficult one. He came in, annoyed, stressed, upset. Before I could even say a proper good day, he had already loudly complained about everything, about the product, about the service, about me. My face turned hot. I was speechless. And honestly, I wanted to say something, I wanted to defend myself, clarify something, give something back, but I couldn't. I just stood there until my supervisor came over. He listened to everything calmly. No eye-rolling, no annoyed sighing. He let the man speak, and when he was finished, he replied quietly, friendly, but clearly, point by point. And what happened? The tension subsided, slowly. The customer became calmer. In the end, he even left the office smiling. This scene is deeply etched in my memory, because for the first time I felt that not reacting. That is not weakness, that is real strength. And that's exactly what I want to talk to you about today, about the power of not reacting and about how we can learn to live as if nothing could easily upset us. Before we dive deeper, let's take a quick look. Why do we actually react so quickly? Often, a very natural reflex is behind it: self-protection. When someone criticizes us or gets loud, we feel attacked. Our ego, our pride, they want to fight back. So we strike back, quickly, loudly, harshly, to regain control. But it is precisely then that our emotions often take over. Anger, heat, pounding heart, acting before we think. And then what remains? An argument, hurtful words, feelings of guilt. Or this inner restlessness that doesn't go away quickly. Especially at work, an impulsive reaction can ruin a lot. Relationships, trust, sometimes even decisions. And maybe you're asking yourself now, but what should I do then? Just swallow everything? No, that's not what it's about at all. Not reacting doesn't mean being weak, and it doesn't mean we just accept everything. On the contrary, not reacting is a conscious action, the decision to keep control with yourself instead of giving it away to someone else. Victor Frankel once said: Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. When we learn not to react immediately, many things change, often more significantly than we think. Our mind becomes calmer. We get the time to really think and re-evaluate the situation. What is really happening here and what would be a wise reaction now? Our conversations also become clearer. We say less often something we regret later, we listen better, and we respond more consciously. And most importantly, we stay with ourselves. We don't get carried away, neither by anger nor by the mood of others. And all of this allows us to grow internally. We appear more stable, calmer for ourselves and also for the people around us. And maybe you're asking yourself now, that sounds nice, but how do you actually do that in everyday life? How do you manage to stay calm when everything is boiling inside? I'll tell you honestly, it's not always easy and it doesn't work every time, but there are a few things that have personally helped me. Small habits that act like a kind of safety net before I react. For example, I've learned to recognize my own warning signs in time. You know, that moment before you explode internally. For me, these are often fists that clench unconsciously. Rapid breathing, a gaze that jumps back and forth. When I notice that, I try to pause for a moment. I consciously relax my hands, fix my gaze on a steady point, and take three deep breaths. And sometimes, when possible, I simply leave the room for a moment, get a glass of water, or I take a piece of paper and simply write down what I actually wanted to say. Like a draft. This short moment sometimes acts like an inner brake. It prevents me from reacting impulsively. And suddenly I have a clear head again, something else that I like to do. I have prepared a few neutral, calm phrases for situations where someone is unfair or puts pressure on me. Something like "Let me think about that for a moment" or "I'll get back to you later." It sounds simple, but these phrases help me stay calm. They give me time to breathe and see the situation more clearly. And when I notice that I'm about to slip into fight mode, I consciously ask myself the question, would this reaction improve the situation or just make it worse? And one more thing, not all criticism is helpful. Keep only what helps you to grow, to develop further, to see more clearly. Because some criticism does not arise from care or clarity, but from frustration, envy, or insecurity. It is an expression of pain that someone else does not want to bear and wants to quietly place in your hands. But you are allowed to say no. You don't have to accept this pain. And something is very important. Not reacting does not mean swallowing everything inside, and it doesn't mean pretending that everything is okay. Because if we constantly suppress our feelings, they don't just disappear. They accumulate and at some point they show up as inner restlessness, tension, pressure, or deep exhaustion. That's why it's so important to regularly find a way to release pressure by writing down what's going on inside us. Through movement, e.g., going for a walk, stretching a bit, or doing sports, or through an honest conversation with someone we truly trust. And maybe you're realizing right now that not reacting doesn't just mean enduring, and it doesn't mean that there are no feelings. On the contrary, we feel, but we don't let ourselves be overwhelmed. We choose silence. We listen, observe, breathe, and then we consciously decide what is truly good for us now. And that's where strength begins. Thank you for being here again today. If you liked this video, give us a thumbs up, share it with your friends, and subscribe to our channel so you don't miss our next video. Until the next episode.