Transcription
That's Oh my god. Can I say what I'm about to say? Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies. One at a time is the only way this is going to work. I think we should have done this thing together. Pause. I think we should have done this. I'll do another one again with you alone. Exactly. I think screencast. Mhm.
You guys met where? Well, contrary to what Rebecca would tell you, we met outside of a um apartment building and um and uh I was sort of oh I was just feeling um quite um quite bored. Uh well bored. I had been bored for some time but I was no don't finish. I was feeling very much um very much, how would I describe it? Oh, I was feeling very much myself and then Rebecca appeared and um and wanted to kind of take me on an adventure, wanted to bring me here and I sort of wanted to go on my own adventure. Um I have Do you spend a lot of time on Skid Row?
Um Skid Row I've been saying is my favorite place I've ever been to in the world. Um because it's I have, you know, ADD and it's the only it's really the only place that kind of is mentally enthralling or has enough like potentials potentially at least to keep my mind occupied and to keep um Can I interject here real quick? Mhm. My thoughts on Skid Row is it's um it's like an abandoned um warehouse. You know what I mean? It's like Chernobyl or something. And every single human being I see there, it's like they're treatment or garbage. You know what I mean? It's like I'm walking through an apocalypse, right? So it's like Alice in Wonderland, but it's the end of the world.
You know, the thing about Skid Row is it gives me the liberty to just exist as myself, with myself, for myself, you know, no rules. Yeah, there's that. There's that, but there's also for me it's about, you know, most of the people there. Mind you, there's a lot of hateful, ignorant um you know, uh uh sort of um very sullen and um and uh bitter um people out there. Um but there's also a lot of people who I think do know a lot about trauma and loneliness and you know being um oppressed by uh the nature of a a life in in modern day America and the limited potentials therein.
Um, one of the best things that has actually happened to me since I've been to Skid Row was, um, I had this incredible vision come to me for, um, a film docu series sort of, you know, uh, potentially 24/7 uh, kind of concept that arrived at me and a vision for something that's not only, I think, has the potential to be highly cinematic, but also um, very much rooted in spirituality and uh essentially um the working title is the Leila Night Show starring the best and brightest of America and it's kind of it came into focus at Skid Row because I realized well what if there was a way to kind of um you know capture everyone's stories and um and also um kind of but give people an opportunity to sort of economically rise not by um cuz really the reason people are out darn Skid Row or and is very similar to why I am is because they couldn't really adhere to either um working in a conventional capacity because they don't really have the minds for that or they have um excessively trauma or just any number of things that prevent that from being really a viable ideal option for them.
Are you familiar with my channel at all? Never heard of it. Never heard of it. She's never heard of it. No. So, Rebecca was telling me, "Soft White Underbelly is about giving people a space to tell their stories, even when these stories challenge what we think we know. Brown News shows us different perspectives in the media, which is why Ground News is a perfect sponsor for my channel." In a world where algorithms censor much of the information we receive, some of the most important stories get missed from our news feeds. Ground News highlights local news from around the world, giving you an on the ground perspective that national coverage might miss. The app and website empowers you to form your own opinions by presenting you with every article published on any news story worldwide. My favorite part of the app is the data it gives you on each news source as you read it, such as where it leans on the political spectrum, a factuality rating indicating how subjective their printed reporting tends to be and who funds it. I particularly like their blind spot feed dedicated to showing you news stories that are underrepresented in the mainstream media. You can check this all out by scanning the QR code on screen or clicking the link below. It's easy to forget how much bias can shape the reality we live in. And in a world where our attention is constantly being fought over, my Vantage plan easily helps me keep up with more important stories slipping through the cracks. So, I encourage you to check them out at ground.news/swu. Subscribe through my link to save 40% off their Vantage plan. And by subscribing or even gifting it to someone you know, you're helping hold the media accountable and helping my channel directly. Thank you for watching off camera before we started that you What were the words you used for? What did I say about about Leila? Oh, she was my spirit animal.
First thing real quick, I have I'm going to riff on the two things you said. The first one to me honestly it's like walking through a human dumpster spirit. You know what I mean? Literally, it's like walking through a I think it's walking through a [ __ ] heap of diamonds. To me, it's the exact opposite. Right. I grew up and offered up real quick. And then [ __ ] human one at a time. I gave you I gave you your flowers. Give me my time literally. Okay. Um I'm walking through a dumpster of mostly male, mostly African-American um pieces of garbage, you know, and I walk through Skid Row and one thing I do which I've never discussed here is I pass my dumpster, dig through them, and I find brand new clothes. Right. So, um, yeah, I'm walking through this dumpster and I am a diamond in the rough. But it's almost like sleeping with the enemy, right? It's a group of patriarchal Mhm. woman-hating, gay-hating, witch-hating, losers, right, who expect the government to subsidize their lack of effort in life. See, the thing about the African-American struggle, right, is the whole point of it is to remove yourself from it. These are human beings, which makes no sense to me, who came from Africa, to live in a refugee camp in the middle of Los Angeles. Los Angeles, real quick, there's nothing meaningful here. Hollywood exists. Los Angeles exists. You want to ignore all of that and literally literally relegate yourself to the role of like of your inferior. You know what I mean? We're in LA. We're in Hollywood. They don't want to interact. You know what I mean? You want to suck. You want to be a loser. Why would you want to be homeless? Well, I can answer that. Personally, the reason why Wait, wait, no, no. Let me finish here. Let me finish here. It's not why would you want to be homeless, but like why would you want to be homeless and want to get out of it? You know what I mean? these people who are incapable of the intellectual capacity to remove themselves from the situation for some reason. All I walk through is Skid Row and all I get the only reaction I get from a few people is either um it's not even violent, it's just aggressive. It's [ __ ] You know what I mean? There are a lot of dummies out on hateful dummies. Oh, sorry. I'm trying. Let speak.
Anyway, as I was saying, the second thing I have to say, you have the Leila Night show, right? So Mark's been trying to get me to um change my life. I found a concept, right? We're in LA, right? A lot of movies. I want to direct and star in my own movie. Okay, I'm just going to roll with it. Leila, here's what you want to direct. No, I said I want to direct the Leila Night Show. All right, whatever. Anyway, and the concept here is I said I am going to direct the Leila Night Show. And that is the Night Show. It girl, right? I want someone following me around LA as I transition or become an it girl. The idea came to me I was in West Hollywood right outside of Mickey's I think literally on the floor rubbing my feet as I usually was but I just gone to Doll Scale. Remember that time he gave me like $500 and something in Melrose first time. Yes. Yes. Exactly. I went to Doll Scale and bought a little bag, right? It was a Bratz bag. You know, you know Bratz like Barbie. And I was walking around just like showing it off, if you know what I mean. It was a Louis Vuitton body throwing it around and posing with that and a girl came up to me the first time she's like, "You're the it girl." Like, so yeah. So me and Lauren were talking about it. Me and Olivia were talking about it. Or was it Alex? I can't remember who's who. And I want to randomly run into people, right? Directors, old, new, I don't care. stylists, creative people, and document my entry into the industry. What you want to do, what I want you and what you're going to do are very, very different things. Well, here's elaborate. So, no, I'm not going. We all know you you're never going to do anything.
The Leila Night Show was being discussed before the interjection occurred from this side. Um and uh and now I would like to similarly interject and uh reciprocally interject and uh conclude regarding the Leila Night Show that I think the most fundamentally significant substantial and meaningful thing about the Leila Night Show is it's actually about um my true concept for that is um is I mean it's really about spirituality. I call it hardestry. um artistry that comes through the heart. I believe that the heart is the true um dwelling place of the soul, the the consciousness um the higher consciousness if higher consciousness is chosen and activated. Um I believe that it's um the the place of beauty and also our connection to like the true most high as some say ultimate um and as I say uh daddy god and so um to me it's kind of my ideal is to utilize the Leila Night Show um to um sort of essentially um create economic empowerment through spiritual self-empowerment and creating almost like a middle path in life. So you don't have to adhere to either, you know, I mean for me it's like the choice is always conventional work or sell my body. And because I have, you know, in many ways like a truly romantic spirit and I mean I would love to I've been I've had my day in the sun with um Leila of the night and all that. Um I just um really essentially more than anything I think um there just needs to be I think American life is very empty, very hollow. Um leaves so much to be desired. There's very rarely anything to connect to in a in a significant substantial meaningful way. And that's why I choose to remain in Skid Row. Um because honestly I think yeah you'll encounter people who are just totally spiritually worthless you know um spiritually incompetent um dumb as [ __ ] and completely um cruel and mean-spirited with absolutely no spiritual character or higher consciousness or capacity for higher consciousness in them whatsoever. And even if it was, you know, um, and they literally would not, um, they they would not opt to change that. I would not have the capacity to change that if it was to save their eternal life.
Where are you from originally? Um, I am from I was born in Auburn, California, but I grew up in uh rural southern Oregon um, country town. What was your family like? M my mom was extremely um uh insane and cruel and neglectful and also very sweet. Um and so it created this um constant sense of like I'm loved one one day I'm hated the next, you know, and then pretty much every relationship I had with a man thereafter has been kind of like a recitation or reiteration of that. And um and so the end result and and there's just you know just this severity and the 32 years of like unrelenting trauma, unrelenting cruelty, you know, from everyone I get have ever gotten close to has created a scenario where um I mean it doesn't really bother me anymore. It doesn't affect me. It doesn't really hurt me. But what does make me sad, what does hurt me is it's really always like a death of everyone I like it's like all I've wanted since I was little, you know, since I was a child was to like really be truly close and connected to someone and have a very fulfilling, meaningful. Did you have a dad growing up? Um, I did, but he was just a crazy schizophrenic drug addict, alcoholic. Um, and he just drove himself to death with all that. It's honestly my I don't know sometimes I just I've just experienced everything so much and like all the vicissitudes of life and the extreme highs and lows and apart from artistry um which hasn't really been a viable option for me for the most part um pragmatically um I really don't relate to anything in the modern world um with with the exception of Skid Row. On Skid Row, if you saunter around up and down those streets all day long and all night long and smoke anything or take anything you can um to keep yourself going. Um you will encounter meaningful people. You will encounter people with depth and and their faces are so cinematic and something meaningful. Okay. Um, one thing I want to say, but they but they'll turn on you in a hot moment and they'll and they'll and they'll they'll [ __ ] It's sad to see the cruelty among people who seem to possess depth and the capacity for a higher consciousness. I I never I never have an interest in totally those people. I have an interest in presenting those people with an opportunity with an opportunity to make themselves spiritually greater. Rebecca's gonna explain and not only spiritually Rebecca wants to speak. Yeah, I'm sure Rebecca wants to wants to try and make the Leila Knight show her idea before I even Rebecca. What were you going to say? This is so back to Rebecca real quick. The thing with Skid Row, right? Because it's one thing um Okay, Leila. Thank you. Anyway, is um the one thing about Mark that I love to hate and hate to love is it's Rebecca, when are you going to do something with your life, Rebecca? When are you going to get off Skid Row? The thing with Skid Row is um it's not even a trap. It represents like one's own mediocrity. Um I think I think the mediocreest people of all are outside of Skid Row. There is no substance in Skid Row. No, no, no. Oh my goodness. I say what I'm going to say. Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies. One at a time is the only way this is. I think we should have done this thing together. Pause. I think we should have done this. I'll do another one again with you. Exactly. Is honestly, Ila, what I'm missing in my life is Hollywood, right? The industry. Hollywood is in the people who ought to be in Hollywood. The people who have truly the most I was saying something. Everything this about I was saying are in Skid Row and No, they're not. That they diminish and I was trying to say something. I was trying to [ __ ] say something before you interjected the first time. The second time [ __ ] time. Can I have this and one minute on the call? Why don't you just Why don't you just monopolize the rest of I don't want to, but I want to say one thing. What I'm trying to do with my life is enter Hollywood. If I took you to Hollywood and you met need anyone to take Lana Turner. Lana Turner. Oh my goddess. You want to s your own smoking things? That's what Hollywood is. Literally. Have you ever done a screen test? My aspiration in life literally is a screen test. Oh my god. It's a screen test. Literally. This is the s this is the super official mentality of not only generally Hollywood itself, but those who intend to go in. For me, the most Hollywood thing of all is people who truly have behind their eyes emanating from their hearts and spirits and souls. Um, and Hollywood cinematic depth of substance, meaningfulness. It's it's not Hollywood. What the [ __ ] is the point of having anything and everything that you could possibly want if there's no one with enough complexity, consciousness, complexity, depth, and I promise you I'm going to give you a All right. I don't by yourself. I need a point to make. Yes, Rebecca. Rebecca's going to explode if I'm literally about to burst at the seams. This is like nuclear war here. Yeah. Well, I Leila, please. Why? I have one point in life here. Okay. It saves. Mhm. Hollywood, baby. That's my aspiration. Like, growing up, I used to love to watch those Edie Sedgwick screen tests. Those Andy Warhol ones, right? Andy Sedgwick was the best. And Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol was um he was like the Kim Kardashian of art, you know. Good job to [ __ ] Lena Dunham on that one. Good job to Dunham on that one. Thank you. Season 6. Thank you. Thank you. So, um anyway, my second aspiration is to meet Lisa Rinna, which we may do even today. Oh, Cosmo. Remember Cosmo? He did an interview with Lisa Rinna. You know who Lisa Rinna is? I do. Aesthetically, aesthetically, no. The best on that show except All I want to do is call Cosmo and Brandy Glanville. And see [ __ ] number one. That [ __ ] Brandy Glanville. Brandy Glanville. Basic basic basic is literally the best thing that ever happened to that. Kyle Richards is my spirit animal. She had a very um complex in her life, I feel. Um I think honestly good for LeAnn Rimes. Nothing against Brandy, but the thing with Brandy, LeAnn Rimes is a is a a lesser woman. I feel like Brandy Glanville is a lesser woman. Anyway, um but honestly, honestly, why do I have to trash LeAnn Rimes on [ __ ] Yeah. Why make about LeAnn Rimes? Oh, here's my one question. Life. Jennifer. Team Bennifer or Angelino? Jennifer. Angelina. Jennifer. Angelina. Team Jennifer. Team Huh? Obviously [ __ ] Angelina. Obviously Jennifer. Very Jennifer. This is why we can't. This is why we can't. I love Angelina, right? But the thing with Angelina, she's very you. A woman of like dabs and substance who um or let's say a woman who is very um kind of dark, kind of young and turned herself into a woman substance. You know what I mean? The thing with Jennifer, honestly, that's how I feel in life. You know what I mean? No one was ever greater than Anna Nicole Smith with the possible exception of Marilyn Monroe to me honestly Audrey Hepburn I love Marilyn Monroe the thing with Audrey Hepburn right is um she was more um it wasn't even cheeky the elegance was there but it didn't have the um the desire to slow down to me Marilyn Monroe it's not being brain dead but um it's like um how do I put it Mae West or um I mean Marilyn Monroe might be probably is my Marilyn Monroe and Anna Nicole Smith. Can I confess? Never seen a Marilyn Monroe movie. Never seen that. Greatest women who ever lived. To me, I would riff off and say the greatest woman in the world in that respect. Purest Hearts and Souls. Audrey Hepburn and um Kim Kardashian. Yeah. Kim Kardashian is by Anna Nicole Smith. You know, Kim Kardashian made a billion dollars. She's a billionaire now. A billionaire. But Anna Nicole Smith was one of the most pure and tortured souls who ever [ __ ] lived. So, how is that more important? How's that less um significant than [ __ ] uh Kim Kardashian? To me, it's not that. Anna Nicole Smith represents what? A hillbilly who comes to Hollywood and makes you not a [ __ ] hillbilly. She was a trailer park beauty queen. Exactly. No, I don't mean a bad sense. Trailer Park beauty queen. Sorry. I'm not American. I don't know the terms. It's like she retained her um her sense of um of let's say blasé, you know what I mean? She didn't elevate her personality. It's like Britney Spears, you know what I mean? She didn't elevate her [ __ ] personality. She was literally one of the most like dynamically um and again meaningfully uh substantial difference between Anna Nicole Smith and um Kim Kardashian. Kim Kardashian right took a very let's say basic personality. She was someone's closet organizer. I happened to like her [ __ ] You know what I mean? The ugly fat front and literally turn herself into the epitome of a modern goddess was the goddess. I would agree with you between Anna Nicole Smith is the beauty queen, you know what I mean? The Hollywood starlet, you know what I mean? The Marilyn Monroe, Kim Kardashian is the Audrey Hepburn, you know what I mean? I don't hate Kim Kardashian. I just I don't see any reason to [ __ ] care as compared to [ __ ] Anna Nicole Smith. And I don't see any reason to continue to dillydaddle on Anna Nicole Smith having died or Anna Nicole Smith having married that man. You know what I mean? With Kim Kardashian is um we're about majority. We're about elevation. Ila, are you Let me ask an awkward question. Are you trans? I am trans. You are? Yes. You're the one one of the most feminine. No. Trans women. Don't say that on camera after seven days without sleep on Skid Row and one outfit. So your your your drug is crystal meth. Um I don't like talking that kind of stuff on camera. I will just say I take whatever I can get so I can be in the most optimal frame of mind to meaningfully connect with um the people I encounter. And today your drug is Rebecca to sustain that connection. Rebecca's my come down. Yeah, literally. And the agitating force that um is representative of a comedown from my perspective. Um I agree with hating the whole system. I hate myself right now. And honestly, not I feel like the uh Kim Kardashian and Anna Nicole Smith um uh your stance on that I think is perfectly akin to your stance on Hollywood versus Skid Row. It's like um the if I don't have something to fully kind of and come and to fully consider and and analyze from every perspective in my mind. Um, if there's not something that inspires that and necessitates that, um, and essentially 24 hours a day, um, then I just feel like I don't even want to exist. That's not a suicidal sentiment. I'm very much committed to life. I'm committed to winning in life, you know, um, and reaching where I want to ultimately reach spiritually um, in a more eternal context. Um, I just I just truly don't feel um I just feel like when you don't have something to immerse your mind in to be fully cognitively and consciously enthralled by um and and consumed and intoxicated by and reciprocally so then I feel like what's the [ __ ] meaning of life to be in places talking about really [ __ ] nothing at all, just material this, material that. Oh, the [ __ ] You're looking at something, you're hearing something, you're [ __ ] It's trapped. It's a It's like a [ __ ] It's like you're trapped in a prison of of loneliness. You're trapped in Let me explain something. Rebecca has a conniption fit if she does not get to speak every six minutes. No, no. Honestly, it's um I The last thing I'm concerned about is Rebecca having a fit. I agree. I love the last I love seeing someone who can stand up to Rebecca. It's not her monologues. It's the fact that we have the exact opposite stance on life. Yeah. To me, life isn't about philosophically waiting for things to happen, right? Not philosophically waiting for things to happen. Making the [ __ ] things happen that making one [ __ ] thing happen in all of America. That's truly [ __ ] meaningful. I need to be doing things right. Skid Row is like it's like and creates an alternative to meaningless purely material oriented living. I love material life. I love material. The Leila Night Show starring the best and brightest of America versus a girl starring a girl. You know what I mean? You guys been together since what? What hour? We We just We just reconvened. We hadn't seen each other since I went off with someone else. Oh, you But you met when? Yesterday. We met weeks ago. When the [ __ ] was that? Was it week last week? Half a month ago. I have no idea. No, no. Literally last week, I think, or two weeks ago. I can't remember either. Half a month was about right. You guys are very interesting together. Well, but but I I definitely need to get Leila alone. Please do. Please do. And do a interview by yourself. Is I'm aggravated at
Myself right now. I mean, I just feel like I don't I mean, a lot of what I wish to convey um uh I I the I I wish to convey like filmically and cinematically, narratively, um uh atmospherically, aesthetically, etc. Um however uh I feel like it's this is difficult for me um especially having um not really consumed any um stimulating intoxicants uh today. Um I will say shout out Adderall. That's always my number one preference. Um there's 30 milligram XRS. I won't deny that. Um uh um I just I talk about I my life that is my life is extremely boring to me. That's why I can't stand that's why I'm committed to living. I'm not suicidal but I cannot [ __ ] I hate existing in America.
When did you come to Los Angeles? Uh I've been I've been here since February. I came out in 2017 to make films originally. I I moved to America in 2017.
You moved where?
I moved to America in 2017. I came from Egypt to America. How about that? How about that?
Mhm. Mhm. [Music]
So, yeah, I just get I just get I'm I'm bored and tired with my own life and my own story. I'm bored and tired with everyone else's life and their story except for on Skid Row sometimes. Um, and and even then it's because it's just kind of there's more chaos and there's more, you know, there's more it's I I I need all of that. Um I otherwise everything's just sort of nothing, you know, or just more or less the same or a like I said, it's just a sensory experience. And if there's nothing truly like a real connection, then it's like then it's like it's like it's literally like a lonely almost solistic prison. And I do it's not that I actually believe that. Um but I think you so rarely find any kind of connection or encounter with somebody that um suggests otherwise. And so, um, like I said, just a lonesome prison of of sensory meaninglessness is how I perceive is not what I'm saying existence is, but how I perceive existence based on the context. Get your [ __ ] self together based on the context of American living.
I slept in her yesterday back in the 60s.
Sure. Back in the 70s.
Yeah. 80s. 90s. probably the last time ever um that America was worth a buck. I can agree that America has reached a complete standstill. There's no um culture. There's no ele like there's no spiritual higher consciousness that [ __ ] David Lynch is gone now. David Lynch is gone. David Lynch died. David Lynch died. Hollywood died. There's there's none of that need to like over justiculate. You know what I mean? Like for the first time in history, people want to be poor. What happened to character? What happened to like I want to say acting or creation? You know what I mean? We've reached a point in history where it's not even authenticity, but like where authenticity has trumped um luxury. You know what I mean? People want to put on a hoodie, a pair of jeans, and talk about their [ __ ] day for an hour, then walk on a set dripping diamonds and fur. [ __ ] Red Bull go. Where's the [ __ ] Red Bull go?
Uh-huh. Whatever. And actually make a statement. You know what I mean? Need something or another cinema film. You know what I mean? Thank you. I blame it all on Sundance. You know what I mean? Sundance ruined America. Sundance ruined the world. There is nothing um can't find a [ __ ] Adderall to save my life. Aspiration to mediocrity. You know what I mean? Mediocrity has become the new currency. You know what I mean? People pedal in nothingness.
Yeah. And I say meaningfulness and um and higher consciousness and artistry and spirituality. What happened to art ought to be? There is no modern artist. The true I think here's the new Rebecca show. You guys together. Thank you. You guys you guys are good together. I can tell I'm aggravating her.
Yes, you're aggravating to everyone.
I'm aggravating myself. I want to apologize to everyone for the love of the owies today. I mean, Rebecca, honestly, you know, I've only known Rebecca for a short while. I've only met the [ __ ] on two separate occasions. All I know is that I mean Rebecca almost certainly like is more um optimally conducive to modern American living because Rebecca um appreciates and gets cheap thrills out of all the things that you know leave me completely spiritually vacant and empty and without any kind of you know feeling at all. It doesn't matter what the [ __ ] anyone does to me. People can, you know, I've had violent incidents. I've had in the past I've had all kinds of [ __ ] happen and I don't I don't I don't even have a [ __ ] feeling. Um because it's all meaningless. The only thing that can make me feel anything is a true meaningful connection. And without that, it's like it doesn't matter what happens. It doesn't matter if I'm just saching up and down Skid Row in the hot sun.
Do you have friends vacantly? Was that Do you have friends?
No. Um I I consider a friend anybody who they I have people in the moment, you know.
Do you have you had a man in your life?
I've had various men in my life, but um they leave and you know and they uh they're kind of along similar lines where like the things of this world, you know, really mean more to them than than what ma what's meaningful to me or me myself for that matter. And uh and then they're gone, you know, and um and uh and then again, it's just like a lonely prison of the of the of the lonely mind. A windmill in a windmill.
Like we will Can I say something here, please? The thing I really really has drawn me to um Leila is she represents everything I wish I was, but no, I'm not. Philosophical, intellectual, neocclassicist, very feminine.
I know you're calling me a man. I have a beard on.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, Rebecca, you would be a very I know. I know.
Beautiful girl. I know. If you just pulled yourself together. I know. I know.
You know what this reminds me of? I was watching um a video. I mean, she's nice to look at. I'm the ugliest thing that ever exists in life. This is beauty. She's prettier than I am. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I am literally a monkey. I am the inferior, you know. the before and after, I would say. But let me tell you something real quick. Rebecca's funny. Got to give her that. Look, humor is it's literally like it's like my currency. It's my it's my it's like it's my medicine at this point. If I'm not laughing like But anyway, Rebecca, look what Rebecca's trying to say something here. I was watching um I got a phone and I was watching um so this guy Lu Pjon, you don't know who he is. He films um like the the behind the scenes of all the fashion shows, you know what I mean? the interviews, the creation of the collection. First guy got to ever do it, right? So, if you're familiar with the Balenciaga show, you don't remember this, but Balenciaga came to LA like last year or the year before.
You heard of Balenciaga?
No. And okay, they did a show in Woodland Hills, right? Um just just people, have you seen the show?
Yeah, I have not. I want you to watch it. Anyway, so there's a clip there's a bit right in the clip of like it's 20 minutes of the whole thing where Lisa Reno is talking to Lou, who always goes to Lisa. She's explaining how um he was like a wet area and she was like we're in Woodland Hills. You're safe. You know what I mean? Which is what they have to say about LA right now. Nicole somehow it's like photo of Sophia Lauren and um what was her name? What was her name? Jane Mansfield something Nicole Kidman. You know what I mean? And Lisa just stops and she goes, "Uh, wow." You know what I mean? Like that blonde hair.
Who?
Nicole Kidman. She she had a whole Lucy Lou happen to her.
Lucy Lou.
Yeah. No. No. Same with Nicole. It's like um she like something happened. Something went wrong. She got scalped. She got um it's like she robbed herself of herself. You guys did an Adam Sandler movie, right? Why would an Oscar wouldn't do an Adam Sandler movie. So yeah, Lisa sees Nicole Kim and just bows down.
Yeah.
To die for. To die for. Bless Manderlay.
Manderlay.
And really Rebecca, you've never met anybody like Ila on Skid Row before.
I've never met anyone like Leila. Period. Period. I've never met anyone like Rebecca either. It's just I I would prefer Rebecca different.
Yeah.
Um on her philosophical stances. Um I would prefer I mean I just I can't relate to Rebecca. I can appreciate that Rebecca is a an experience. I can appreciate that Rebecca is cinematic. I can appreciate that Rebecca's talented, has depth, has intelligence and intellect and everything else. Taste and style, you know, style, um, totally very much in a I would put [ __ ] Rebecca on the Leila Knight show. I'm just saying Rebecca's hilarious, too. I'm just saying I don't really resonate with Rebecca. I maybe if we knew each other on a different level. I like you, but I don't resonate with you. Maybe if we maybe if we just knew each other more or something. I don't know. I just I don't I don't relate exactly.
No, me neither.
The thing with Leila here is it's like um I there's plenty of tent daddies I relate to, but I don't you know the tone itself, you know what I mean? It's just it's so slow. It's like it's like you're taking your time. You're really enunciating every last syllable.
Well, I mean, I certainly find a lot of dillydally uh in Rebecca in terms of the amount of time between one meaningful thing said and the next meaningful thing said. Whoever finds knew every movie, every model, every she knew who Natasha Polley was.
Yeah, Natasha Pie. Natasha was Yeah, Natasha is the greatest. She's the greatest runway.
Oh, yeah. There's a story about Natasha Poly, right? It's like my favorite kind of story. There's a Balenciaga show, right? Like a show neglected. I think it's 2007. I I guarantee you there's no You guys are the only two people on Skid Row that know who Natasha is.
I That might actually be true.
Oh, that is definitely true. That is definitely true. Um but I did appreciate that about you.
Yeah. No, instantly I was like, "Okay, I'm going to be fine today." Like, "Thank God." You know what I mean? Um so it was a Balenciaga show, right? And um I remember reading around. I like Rebecca's face. I love her face. As long as I don't hate Rebecca. I just don't resonate with her.
Exactly. Um but anyway, um so um the floor was slippery, right? No one could walk on it. No one could walk on it. Um they had to take Diet Coke for some reason and spray it on the floor like cuz it was like so slippery except for Natasha Pulley who was the only girl who did the whole shoe came off and she was like, "Yeah, no, she was such a beautiful She could smile. She could be, you know, give that ice queen that Russian ice queen." To me, she's like Russian tenacity. You know what I mean? She represents that modern or like early 2000s, '90s Russian idealism of um what is it? It's like um it's ice queen.
Yeah, ice queen without
Yeah. Honestly, never seen her swell. Never seen. She's kind of like a She could be She could be an ice queen and she could also be, you know, little little Lolita. Her look. She was just a Russian. She had um has that Linda Evangelista quality without the um the need to be humili. You can put her in anything. You know what I mean? Put her anyone any designer. You put Natasha there, it works. You know what I mean? And it's the same kind of look. There isn't a difference in it. You know what I mean? Her versatility is in her um what's the word I'm looking for here? I hate to be reminded of of even beautiful women. Honestly, um not because I'm jealous of women's beauty. Um but at this particular I admire beauty more than more than anything else whether beauty no not more than anything else meaningful spiritual etc but people like that are generally like um very visually captivating if they have those qualities. Um but in lie of those or in it or in addition to those physical beauty I think is is always something I admire especially rare um physical beauty that's still kind of in that kind of golden ratio sort of way and Natasha I think represents that and also it's nice to find intellectual stimulants. However, at this juncture, I've been calling this on Skid Row my Trannis Joplin area era era. It is my Trannis Joplin area literally. Um I call Skid Row Tobacco Row also. But um but to me to me it's like Janice Joplin was a beautiful woman, but she had the feeling of being an ugly duckling, which is certainly how I felt for my whole early transition. And when um and when when it's been it's been tough. This is the first time in my life I've ever been able to walk around with all my eyelashes falling off and my nails broken and my legs. I don't have a razor. I don't have money. I don't Next time I bring you in, we'll we'll give you the Oh, I'll make sure you're prepared. But I've also been embracing the whole because the Trannis Choplain concept because um the thing about Janice is she found a way to be very much um kind of the I think Jan Chaplan again was was actually quite aesthetically uh beautiful um remarkable uh visually woman but I know she felt felt like a like an ugly duckling. I know how hard it is when you feel like that, to actually embrace expression, um to be seductive, to uh to discover that goddess sort of energy um within yourself, especially in a creative context. And I think um I'm not saying Trannis Jlin has achieved that, but I'm saying I think Janice very much achieved that and represents that. And uh and I I certainly I certainly have been inspired by that these last like 5 days in Skid Row since I've had no cosmetics, no um no anything really. And um and and and people, you know, yell, you know, or get off their get off the street, man. That's all I got. A [ __ ] man. That's all I got. And etc., etc.
When I saw you, there are incredible people in Skid Row. I wish to remain like a real woman% I don't give a People have been yelling that [ __ ] at me my whole life in my life. It's nice that it doesn't affect me anymore. is the only place where I've ever been chased by a man. I can still completely I mean anybody can really I'm not I'm not the least but I'm a train of faith and I also believe that my soul and my heart and consciousness is eternal and so I and my body is completely inconsequential and your body and not something that I'm attached to whatsoever. And therefore, I really don't care what happens to my body. I really don't care if my body perishes. I'm not suicidal. Um, I just only care about meaningfulness. And if there's not something meaningful, then what's the [ __ ] point of living anyway, except for being spitefully committed uh against the haters and the and the spitefully committed to to living in spite of the people who would love if you just went and killed yourself.
Why is I say I'm not going to kill myself, but if you want to kill me, hit me with your best shot. To me, it's like honestly fire away.
Yeah.
First of all, first of all, don't touch me. I hate being paint. Get the [ __ ] away from me. Like, I would hire a bouncer. That's what I hate thing I hate about. Second of all, what was the answer? I'm hearing some third eye blind.
Oh, yeah. I hate my body. I hate my face. I hate my life. I hate my experience. But it has propelled me to somehow is the incredible desire to live. I hate my body aesthetically. I wish I had your body. I hate my face. I hate my hair. I hate that I'm walking around barefoot all the time. I hate my inability to um I really should have had me some some kind of what? Something before this [ __ ] at all.
Yeah. Yeah. Let's just say Adderall. I agree. Put this [ __ ] in Hollywood and stick her in a penthouse.
So, one thing I want to say, um I want to set a challenge here. Mark, I have one request. Okay, we can do it today, but I do. Can I say what I want to say? Mark. Mark. He's [ __ ] I'm trying to say something. I love you. I have one mission today. One mission left. I'm going to call Cosmo. I want you to see if I can Let me finish. Meet Lisa right now. Can you call Cosmo today or tomorrow? Please call him. Please. I mean, given the state you're in, I can't.
Who do you want Mark to [ __ ] call?
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Who do you want him to call?
I want to call Cosmo to see if you can meet Lisa. I just want to meet her. I just want to meet her. even see her from across the street. You know what I mean? Can we do that today? You want to arrange for Mark to have you hook up with [ __ ] Lisa Rena when my understanding is was um that we were going to I can't remember what my [ __ ] understanding I need at all. You need a supposed to take you to Mo's um shopping and get some makeup.
Yeah. So, I could buy affordable makeup on Skid Row and still get me. Um, and I can't live without my SK, too. I am a label [ __ ] [Music]
All right, you guys. Thank you very much. You guys are really fun together. Meaningful. I think we're on to something here. Perhaps when I was designing the first Soft Underbelly book, I realized that there were so many great portraits that weren't going to make it into that book. They just wouldn't fit. And once I saw how well that first book sold, I knew I'd have to design a second book. This second book is finally ready to ship. Like the first one, this book has a collection of some of the best portraits from Softwite Underbelly, accompanied by a quote from that person's interview. This book features another group of Rebecca portraits as well as a collection of color images of the Whitaker family and plenty of others. You can order yours for $125 or $150 for a signed copy at softwunderbelly.org. Again, like the first book, once this book is sold out, I will not be printing more of them. The portraits are what Softwunderbelly is all about, and these two books contain the best of all that work. Thank you for watching.