Transcription
The lower your judgement and shame is, the higher your self-esteem is. That's it. Judgement and shame is a measurement of self-esteem. You seem delusional to everybody else in your life, but it doesn't matter. Let's define self-esteem.
>> Yeah.
>> My definition is how much judgement and shame you carry. That's it. The lower your judgement and shame is, the higher your self-esteem is. That's it.
>> Judgement of self?
>> Self and others. Because most of our judgement of others is a projection. Anytime you see someone judging someone else, there's a fraction of some kind of personal shame inside of that judgement. Cuz if I can push it on somebody else, it's not mine, right? Judgement and shame is a measurement of self-esteem. So, one of the the first thing I tell every client that I've worked with one-on-one, when I'm like reprogramming their brain, and some some of my sessions are like I do absolute full brain reprogramming with like politicians, celebrities, and stuff like that. Number one, the number one thing, the first thing, is I get them to understand who they are as a human being, and I change their perspective on can you zoom out while you're doing stuff. So, I can I zoom out on a problem enough that it doesn't really exist that much. And the goal of getting them to be able to mentally zoom in and zoom out on a problem. If you look just envision your problem as being like on Google Earth. Like can I get all the way out to where I can see the stars and and the solar system, right? And your problem's gone. So, can I mentally do that on a regular basis? And the moment I can get you to that point, I can get you to be so self-forgiving that it seems ludicrous. Like you seem delusional to everybody else in your life, but it doesn't matter. So, you get to the point where you are so self-forgiving and you know yourself so well and still are forgiving at the same time, you can't carry shame and judgement anymore because you can zoom out on everything. And you start with the moment I'm zooming out on all this stuff, I I'm not seeing other people. I'm seeing little versions of me because now I know myself well enough that I see that person over there that I would normally judge and I and I'm seeing me. But I'm so non-judgemental, I'm not carrying judgement anymore that I I'm starting to see that like every I'm going to this is a huge tangent, but every single religious text the Bhagavad Gita, the Bible, the Quran, uh the Torah uh Plato, you go back to Plato's Republic every single religious text that's ever been written, the number one message is we are all one. The number one You know what the number one phrase is in the Bible is? Number one repeated phrase in the entire Bible, do not fear. And it's written in the Bible 365 times. If you think about that, once for every day. Uh so, you get a person to lack shame and judgement, which is fear. All fear comes from some kind of especially when it comes around ourself and self-esteem. Do not fear is the number one thing. The num- the number one thing we see in all texts is like we are all one and take the spirituality part out of it just seeing I'm seeing reflections of me in every person that I talk to. And if I can get my client to that state in the first day, and sometimes it takes two days, for the rest of your life you are so radically unbelievably, delusionally self-forgiving everything else starts falling into place for your whole life because that's your world view.
>> So, it's just a matter of let's say I do something or I become aware of something that I don't like about myself, zooming out in my head and just seeing that thing as tiny.
>> Yeah, and mentally zooming out and saying how like this is so ridiculous. So like if you had a like a near-death experience and like you were sitting up there with a million other souls in heaven or whatever and you're looking down like, "Oh my god, that was the most insignificant, stupid that I was worried about." That kind of perspective is really what changes people.
>> What else can we do to start to build our self-esteem? Like a daily if you've got like a daily trick or a habit or
>> Yeah, just just rating yourself on a on a daily basis. The number one thing that I could pass down to anybody is that if I get the repetition, remember we talked about this with brainwashing, right? The focus, emotion, agitation, and repetition. The repetition is so key that I'm rating myself on the factors that are important on a daily basis. I'm not making plans. If I rate myself low on one thing, I don't need to do these seven PowerPoints or anything else. I'm just getting tons and tons of awareness on those things. And with my clients, there's a few things that we monitor. There's 10 things. There's five traits of authority, in which authority is the number one way to start living a different life, and this is confidence, my discipline, my leadership, my gratitude, and my enjoyment. Was I able to just I'm not sitting here shooting off party confetti cannons for enjoyment, but am I able to be in an enjoyable
>> And gratitude.
>> Well, the gratitude's right before enjoyment. Right? So I'm thankful and then while I'm doing something I would rather not do, can I still be mentally in enjoyment? I'm doing laundry, I'm doing dishes, I'm folding towels, whatever I'm doing. Can I be in a mental state of enjoyment? Those five things. And then when it comes to my lifestyle, there's five more, and this is how did I manage my environment, my time, my appearance, my social life, and my financial life. E T A S F, environment, time, appearance, social, and financial. Because the number one thing that I teach my clients is you are in the business of creating gut feelings and intuitions in other people about you. And all of those gut feelings are going to be based on not whether or not you read that article on LinkedIn of 15 ways to look more confident and present yourself like a CEO. That's how to have symptoms of someone that's confident. It's not how to be confident. All those articles are are showing you symptoms. Symptoms do not equal the cause. I can't heat your body up and then paint your lips blue and give you COVID, right? You have to have a cause of COVID. I can't just give you a bunch of symptoms, right? So, that's what so many people are focused on symptoms instead of the cause. So, let's get down to the root causes of all these things. What causes those gut feelings in other people? It's not all those things. It's how I live off camera when no one is looking. Am I who I portray myself to be? If I'm not, there's going to be some kind of incongruence. And nobody's going It's not like I'm talking to behavior profilers all day, every day. But, when I have that conversation with somebody, I have that good posture like LinkedIn told me to have. I did what that guy on YouTube said to make good eye contact and smile. Use somebody's name. Give them a firm handshake. Touch them on the shoulder. All that kind of stuff. And if I'm being fake, if I'm not being authentic, something in that person's brain, maybe after the conversation's over, is going to say, "Something didn't add up." The guy looked Everything looked good. He looked confident. He looked like he had his together. Something was wasn't right. That's what happens in people. So, we are Whether you want to or not, we are all, especially if you're an entrepreneur, a dad, a leader, a CEO, you are absolutely creating gut feelings in other people all day, every day. And it's better to do it deliberately than on accident.
>> Mhm.