Transcription
So the basic problem that most men have is that since we are numbing ourselves from our emotions, our emotions are programming us in ways that are maladaptive. And then once I have all of this maladaptive programming of I'm avoiding this, I'm running away from that. I'm not motivated, then I try to use all of these compensatory mechanisms like willpower and habit and taking magnesium at night and using all these supplements. I'm trying to do all this stuff to overcome myself.
So, here's what I found as a psychiatrist that is so hard. I've told you guys I am lazy. I'm still lazy. I've always be lazy. I will always be lazy. You don't need to work hard. You don't need to have willpower. I also have terrible habits. What I find is the most useful thing is to reprogram yourself. And once your default programming changes, then your life becomes way easier.
Imagine for a moment that if you did not feel avoidance for asking someone out on a date. If you did not feel avoidance for asking for a promotion, right? If you didn't have those negative emotions, imagine how free your life would be. Discipline and willpower and habit to overcome yourself. Oh my god, it's so much work. I hate that crap.
I don't know if this makes sense, but we are so concerned about overcoming our instinctual desires, what feels natural to us. That's why we're habits, willpower, discipline, because we need to overcome the stuff that's down here. And why is that so important for men, right? Why are we the ones that are obsessed with this? Because if you know how to emotionally process, you don't need willpower or I mean, you still do on some level, but like you need a lot less of it, right? So, if I can alter the way that my emotional experiences program my brain, my need for willpower to overcome that programming goes way down.