Transcription
All righty. So, this came across my feed. And before I get into this, I just I just want to be clear about something. I'm not I'm not going to show her channel name or link her video down below because she's a she's a smaller creator. And uh dude, I don't want any I don't want anyone going into into her comment section and leaving disparaging out-of-pocket comments. That's that's not the point of this video or any video that I make.
Um, I'm reacting and commenting on what's being said in the video for analysis purposes only. I don't I don't know her personally. I'm not critiquing her as a person, although I will make some observations that I do see. It's not a slight on her, but it's it's if I'm bringing something up, there's a point. So, but I'm going to be addressing, you know, the ideas and the framing and the patterns that show up in the video. She is a human being and commentary turning into dog piling or harassment. It's it's something that I don't support and I'm here to break down narratives. I'm not here to belittle a person that that's just expressing themselves however they see fit.
So, and I also want to say this upfront that this is a long video, so I'm not going to go through the entirety of it and comment on everything. There are things that she says later on in the video that I actually do agree with. She does talk about hyperindependence culture and she does acknowledge that while there are single people who have hobbies and full lives that people with families they also have hobbies and full lives. And so there's something there. And she openly says that sharing life with with a family is better than being alone and that being alone isn't superior to deep connection. And I do agree with that. And she also does get right later on when she explains how being an introvert, it doesn't mean that you just like being alone. It introverts do crave deep connection with a small number of people who really understand them on a deeper level. And so that does match with my own experience as an introverted person. And lastly, she she acknowledges that what we're living through is kind of a a social experiment and that we haven't fully seen the consequences of it yet. And I would argue that we've seen a lot of the consequences. They've just intensified because she does bring up the declining birth rate, which is objectively true. And she talks about how freedom and independence have been made extremely alluring through feminism, of course. And she points out that people are very damaged and gunshy about relationships and having families and and that also this world isn't really set up. it's to to support people that want to create families anymore. And that applies to both men and women for different reasons obviously. So she is on to something, but it's unfortunate that she's also a casualty of the very system that she's describing. So with that said, ideas still matter and that's what I'm going to be focusing on right right here. Okay?
But I'm also going to be focusing on what you're seeing right now. And so I have noticed that she does have a septum ring and she has a coffee cup that says Pisces on it. So I mean there there are stereotypes that are accurate. They exist for a reason. And so but I just I just want to focus real quick on the septum ring and Carl Jung's perspective because it often times it isn't just style. uh Carl Jung, he he talked about how unresolved trauma and unintegrated parts of the psyche, they don't disappear from a person. They just they get expressed somehow. And when pain isn't worked through internally, it shows up externally and the body becomes the outlet. So, this is not a moral judgment. It's just a psychological pattern that I just wanted to to throw out there. Uh and then also, she does have some vocal fry. So, fair warning about that.
So, let's let's get into this.
>> I'm not even going to lie. I am kind of scared to record this video. It's a topic that opens itself to a lot of criticism and a lot of judgment. So, I'm going into this knowing that that's a possibility and that is okay. I welcome comments and discussions. I hope that people don't have a lot of negative things to say and they can try to keep it nice and positive in the comments. That would be amazing. But I guess we'll see how it goes. A friend and I were talking recently and we are both women in our late 30s. She is 40 and we do not have children and we're not married and we're not even in relationships and we kind of don't want to have kids. And this is something that I have said out loud a long time ago because I really didn't want kids and then I switched to thinking that I wanted them and now I just don't really know how I feel. But I'm getting to the age where I'm realizing that I just probably am not going to have them. And I don't know how I feel about it because I have not had the urge to have them. I don't have this deep desire to be a mother and to raise children. I don't have it. Whether that's because of my own childhood, my upbringing, trauma that I've been through, difficult relationships, or just having ADHD, ADHD, and feeling very overwhelmed by very minor tasks and responsibilities in life that makes me think, "Oh my god, what would it be like to raise a child?" And by the way, you guys, the first link in the description box is my email list. Get on there if you would like a little note for me every time I drop a video. I would absolutely love to have you. Yeah, she has a tattoo. Thought so. >> I also don't have a pet and have never had one as an adult because I like my freedom. I want to do what I want when I want. I don't want anyone depending on me. There is a big fear there of people depending on me and relying on me. It feels like a trap. It feels suffocating and like it would limit my freedom and confine me. And I don't like feeling constrained. And I think that there are parts of the human experience, one of them being becoming a mother and having a family that are like cornerstones almost. Whenever I have spoken to parents, no matter how difficult their child is or was in the past or how stressed they are or how much sleep they're losing, all of them say the love that you have for your child is unlike anything you've ever experienced and you will ever experience. And it's the greatest love on earth. It's the greatest thing you >> Yeah, it's true. >> You think you love your spouse, you think you're in love. It's nothing compared to loving your child. So, there's a part of me that's like, I love >> life. I love life and I love experience and I love >> Okay, so right out the gate, she's obviously scared to record this because she's because it opens up criticism and judgment. Yeah, of course. And I mean that tells me she already knows that this particular topic it touches something sensitive because it does. And when someone leads with that kind of disclaimer, it's usually not just about the audience. It's about the fact that they're not fully settled internally on what they're about to say. And of course, yes, she said she welcomes uh comments and discussion, but then immediately asks people to, you know, keep it keep it nice and positive. Of course, uh that's basically her saying that I want to talk about this, but I also don't want to be challenged too hard. Um and I I'm not saying that to be harsh. I'm just I'm saying it because it is what it is. and and and then of course she sets the the context that her and her friend who's who's 40, they were talking and they're, you know, they're both single, they're not married, they're not in relationships right now, and they have no kids. And of course, that's important context because when two people are in the the same position and they they talk through something like this together, it it becomes a a shared narrative and it can feel safe, right, to agree with with each other rather than just sit alone with the reality of what's happening. And when she drops the line that they kind of don't want to have kids pay I mean the that kind of that she leads with is it's doing a lot of work here. There's no because there is no certainty in kind of and then she contradicts herself soon after. She said a long time ago she didn't want kids and she meant it and then she she switched to wanting them. And where it is in that timeline, I have no idea. She didn't specify. But now now she doesn't really know how she feels. And that says a lot. If if someone genuinely doesn't want to have kids, it's usually a pretty clean statement. Uh but but she's not clean here at all. She oscillates. She's oscillating a a lot inside the first minute already. So, and then she said, you know, she she's getting to the age where she realizes she's probably she probably isn't going to have them. And that that is a real turning point. This is where biology enters the conversation, right? And once biology enters, this really stops being a preference discussion. and it becomes a limitation discussion because that's what it is. She keeps trying to treat it like a preference discussion to cope with the fact that it's really a limitation discussion. So, you'll you'll see that periodically. Yeah. She said, and I'll point it out. She said she doesn't know how she feels about it, but but even even in the way she says it, you can you can hear the discomfort in her voice. And then of course she pivots, like I said, to well, I haven't had the urge and I I don't have this deep desire to be a mother. And maybe that's true, but it it also reads like adaptation to me. Honestly, when an outcome becomes less realistic, the mind it starts to it starts rewriting the the story so it hurts less. It's an adaptation, but but that's that's also not just a woman thing, that's a human thing. Uh but yeah, then then she starts stacking on these justifications, right? Childhood upbringing, trauma, trauma, difficult uh relationships, ADHD, uh which and then feeling overwhelmed by minor tasks, um and then imagining what raising a child would be like, all all those things. And again, I'm not I'm not saying that those things aren't real. I'm saying that they they what they're functioning as a narrative shield. It's it's her building a case for why this is happening to her so she doesn't have to sit in the raw reality of it. And I did notice that she did the air quotes the second time she said ADHD. So maybe she's red-pilled on that topic. Uh that that's what I'm going to think that's what she was inferring. But yeah, so she she she says some things later that that show that she's like I said previously that that show she's not entirely propagandized or she's kind of she's coming out of it, which is good, but it's unfortunate though because it came pretty late in her life. But yeah, she really highlights uh freedom. She says that she she doesn't have a pet because she likes her freedom. She wants to do what she wants when she wants to do it and she she doesn't want anyone depending on her. She says that there's a yeah a big fear of people depending on her. She she refers to that as a trap and and calls it suffocating and that it would limit her freedom and it would confine her and that I mean that's just that's that's what feminists say really. I mean that that's and that that that's a feminist framing that's extremely common. Children aren't described as as meaning or legacy or responsibility. They're described as loss of freedom. that that's that is how the modern feminist culture frames motherhood. And I yeah, I get that to a degree. I get the freedom aspect to a degree. I felt that way in my early I mean, she's talking about that now, but I felt that in my early to mid-20s. I was because I was still having fun and I didn't want to have that level of responsibility just yet. But again, I'm a dude and the roles are different for for dudes. They're different for us. And I wasn't a feminist. I was just really I was really into the simulation back then, just living it up. Um, but yeah, and then she then she pivots again here and she she said there's parts of the human experience that are cornerstones and one of them is becoming a mother and having a family. And then she starts bringing up these these parents that she spoke with that told her that the love for your child is is unlike anything you've ever experienced. And that is true. That is so true. I did not know love until I had my son. And it it is the greatest love on earth on earth on earth. And uh but yeah, you can you can already feel the tension building because she's it well, it's the tension's been there, but it's it keeps building. Uh but yeah, she she admits the the magnitude of something that she may never experience while she's also trying to say that trying to keep the I didn't want it anyway story intact. So there there's some coping going on there, but you can tell that she she's got some FOMO. Um, but yeah, let's let's get back into it. See what she has to say.
>> Love to experience so many things. That's why I travel so much and try new things. I just love >> Yeah. You all the feminists that look to travel, >> vitality, and I love feeling things. So there's a part of me that's like, if that exists, I want that. Like I want to know what that feels like. I don't want to go through this whole life not knowing. I could cry. I didn't think that was going to happen. >> Uh yeah, I saw that coming. >> I'm not going to cry, but I just got a little choked up. >> Come on, just let it out. You know you want to. Good grief. >> There's a part of me that is sad about going through life and not having that experience. It is sad. It is sad. And I I feel sorry for her. I do. >> See, she has to take a moment. >> And she's she's keeping she's keeping it down. >> At the same time, I love my life and I'm very happy. And like I said, it's a choice I've made. >> Coping. >> Yes, I'm single. It's like you have to have someone to have a child with, but it is a choice that I have made. I haven't wanted to have one. I haven't felt ready at any point yet. And now I'm 38 and >> more coping. >> I still haven't had the desire. So, it is a choice I'm making. So, I'm accepting that. So, please don't >> kind of have to at this point. It's not your choice anymore. >> Give me about it. And don't be nasty. Please. I understand. See, she's it's it's getting real. And so I understand that you're feeling something real. It already feels bad. You don't want other people to make you feel worse. I get that. I get that. >> It's a choice I'm making. And there still is a feeling of there's still like a grieving. There's still a feeling of loss that you that you experience. >> I think she's going through the five stages of grief, honestly. And it's really hard to tell which state she's in right now cuz she's kind of bouncing through several of them simultaneously. She's just going from one to the other and kind of lily-padding around. And the modern world has made this possible. The part that I think is so unusual about it is that a long time ago and evolutionarily speaking, women wouldn't have been able to live alone. they just wouldn't have lived alone without anyone to protect them and to provide for them. People talk a lot about women being independent and not having children. Yes, people have spoken about that. What I don't hear people talking about is the loneliness and sense of insignificance and potentially lack of purpose and meaning when you don't have that. when you don't have a partner, a husband, and you don't have a family to raise and to care for. Because when you're younger, it's not that big of a deal, and you have a lot of friends, and everyone's hanging out together. And as you get older, we move. We no longer live with roommates. We live on our own. We're isolated. While we may have very fulfilling lives and work lives and we may love our careers and you see a lot of these boss babe women, these workaholics and they get a lot of meaning and purpose from their careers and that's great. I still think there's like an emptiness or a void that can't be filled by that because still at the end of the day you're coming home as busy as you can make your life and as many things that you as many hobbies as you can have and as big of a social life as you can have. You come home at the end of the night and you're alone. And maybe that's okay. That is okay. And that's okay. I'm okay with that. I love coming home alone. I'm No, you don't. Okay. All right. Well, she's saying some things that are really honest. So, she, you know, she's she says she loves life. She loves experiences. Yada yada yada. She loves feeling things. She's getting abstract here. She travels. She tries new new things. And then she says that if if that exists, I want that. I I want to know what that feels like. I don't want to go through this whole life not knowing. Right? And and that's the that's the life feminism sold her. Travel and all of these all these experiences except children or or to wait before having children, right? You got all the time in the world, girl. Do your thing. you do you. And yeah, a whole lot of women, they they they buy it because they're they're young and they're going off of what they were indoctrinated with. I'm sure plenty of their mothers taught them to not rely on any man, especially if they had a if they were raised in a single mother household, whatever. A lot of them, they just were kind of set up to fail in many different ways, uh, depending on how their family was structured. But yeah, now now the truth is more of the truth is leaking out of her finally because if you Here's the thing. If she truly didn't want kids, she wouldn't be talking like that. She wouldn't be describing it as some major human experience that she might miss out on and feel sad about. But I if so, you would if if you were not about it, you just say, "Well, that's not my path." But she's not saying that. She's saying if there's an exceptional experience I might never get. Well, I I want it. Damn it. And I'm going to be honest. I I do know why, but I also I don't know why she's not internalized it. Why she didn't I understand why she didn't internalize that earlier. It just sucks for her. I understand why, but I also don't. it. And it also it it almost sounds like she didn't have that conversation with those parents about the love they have for their child until recently cuz it sounds like that was the impetus for why she's taking it seriously now and talking about it because now the the window of opportunity to have that is narrowing and it's it's about closed shut on her biology. So, but yeah, then boom, it it hits her, right? She it hits her right there and and she's she's like, "Oh, I could cry." Right. She But she catches herself. She's like, "I didn't think this this was going to h that was going to happen. I'm not I'm not going to cry, but but I got a little choked up." And that's real. That's not acting. She saying all of that out loud just now. It made it real for her and it hit her like a freight train. And then and then she said there's there's a part of her that that is sad about going through life and and not having that experience. She mentions grieving. She does have a fear of missing out. She is grieving the life that she said no to when she was younger. But yeah, when when you think she's she's done switching up, she you know, she does it again. You know, she said at the same time, I love my life. I'm very happy. Right. So, she she pivots right back to her to to that whole thing. Just her mind is trying to regain control to to cope with that harsh reality. And and she she's admitting that it's a choice she made, right? She's single. Uh and you have to have someone to have a child with, but it's it's a choice she made. And she repeats it, right? She said she hasn't she hasn't wanted one. She hasn't felt ready and now she's 38 and still hasn't had the desire and it's it's a choice she's making and she's accepting that. But I don't believe that for a minute. I don't because if she if she was actually settled in that, she wouldn't need to to pre-defend it that hard. I mean, the the the defensiveness is part of the grieving. She she's telling the audience not to attack her, but she's also trying to convince herself in the same breath that of the exact opposite of what she really wants. It's just she's she's fighting so hard with reality right now. And the hard truth is at at a certain point the choice it becomes less of a choice. This is I think this is the this is the reality that's really messing with her because biology eventually decides for you whether you like it or not. And when that starts to dawn on someone, they start saying, you know, I chose it more aggressively because it hurts. It hurts to admit that that time and reality are closing the door and they have they they have no one to blame but themselves. And yeah, like I said, she she admitted there's still grieving. There's still loss. And that now now we're right back to the honesty again. That that's her acknowledging that even if she claims it's a choice, there's still something she's mourning. And she is she is mourning hard. You can tell there's a deep mourningful ache inside of her that she she keeps pushing down and pushing down and pushing down. And then she she brought up something that I actually think is one of the strongest points so far. She said the modern world has made this possible. It has. But but but what she doesn't hear people talk talking about is is the the loneliness aspect and the insignificance and the that lack of purpose and meaning when you don't have a family to raise and care for because yeah, when you're younger, you can you can you can buffer it with roommates and friends and and constant socializing. And that's that's what my 20s were all about. just having roommates, living on the cheap, and hanging out with friends non-stop. But as you get older, th those friend groups, they disintegrate, people pair off, people move away, they start people build families. So you you stop living with roommates, you start living by yourself and coming home to a quiet house. And yeah, she says it plainly. You come home at the end of the day or at the end at the end of the night and you're alone. Then it becomes too much. And and then she goes back to, "Well, maybe that's okay." And and and you know, goes back to that that whole thing. Lady, it's not okay. All right. Just just stick with that. But yeah, I Yeah, I get it. You need to to self-soothe before you're ready to to accept the full weight of it. And yeah, it's a lot of weight to carry. It is a lot of weight to carry. And yeah, she she does admit that there's a a void and an emptiness that careers and busyness can't fill. That's very true. Uh but then yeah, she goes back to neutralizing that weight again because she just made an admission. when she makes an admission, she has to she has to to reel it back. Um because I think if she didn't, she would have a full breakdown. She would just start crying and weeping. Um but yeah, the point is this is that she is not neutral about this. It's very obvious. If she was neutral about this, she wouldn't have to she wouldn't have made this this video in the first place and and get choked up talking about it. And this is the damage that feminism has done to women. It lied to them and sold them a false bill of goods. And now all of these these millennial women, especially women in my generation who have now realized that they're a day late and a dollar short and they aren't doing too well right now. And we are all hearing about it. So yeah, humanity as a whole isn't doing well right now. It's feminism. It's It's ruined absolutely everything and everyone in its path. If and if there's in closing, if there's any young women that are watching this, you you need to learn from this, please, while you while the window is still open for you, okay? Don't buy what these feminists are selling you, okay? Because if if you look if if you buy what they're selling, this is what you have to look forward to. You will be this this woman. Okay? Don't be this woman.