Transcription
We're becoming at the policy level of feminized nations. So I believe, before you jump in and you're saying that specifically, we're talking about riots or we're going now broader, rights. No, riots like riots. Yes. So a feminized culture allows this to happen. A feminized culture becomes so convinced of compassion that, well, the only reason that they're doing this is because they're impoverished. And you know, it's not affluent soccer fans that are doing this. This is a poverty problem. And so, sure, when you have somebody who's desperate in poverty and they finally get a glimpse of something joyful, they don't know what to do. They, they have been so neglected by society, abused by society even. And so, what do you expect? Okay, that's nanny state bull. When you allow that to become policy, instead of going, "Hey, I love it when a soccer fan celebrates. That's dope. But, by the way, if you burn that, you're going to jail." And so, if you don't have that where you say, "Nope, hard pass. Don't care that your team won. Don't care that you're poor. None of that matters to me. You just did a thing that we have a law against. You're going to jail and I'm going to get as close to sentencing you in a totally blind way. I'm not like giving partial credit for this, that or the other. Nope. This is just what we do." But we don't do that anymore. And in fact, it's so crazy, dude. I'm so milktoast back from back in the 80s, bro. Like now though, people are just like, "This guy is unhinged." That is so wild to me. That's what this is an echo of.
We have some people in the chat saying, "This is not about the culture race talk. It's about the rich elite talk." Which honestly, I thought that's where you were going to go. I thought you were going to go straight to the economics of it all. But now, it's always grounded in economics, meaning welfare states destroy families. They destroy families precisely because of the incentive structure that they create. So once you incentivize them through poverty essentially to split the family up, now you don't get a male and female dynamic. You tend to get an only female dynamic.
So that's where it's like, this is an economic problem. Don't become a welfare state, which is an economic question. Keep families together. And when you do that, now you get a male-female dynamic. The father is going to use discipline to keep the kids in line and hopefully mirror what masculinity looks like when it's channeled towards the right things, taking care of a family, etc. Now all of a sudden values are getting passed that you're like, "But well, this is a value thing. It's not really economic." It's like, yes, but the underlying thing was that you had an economic structure that incentivized the disintegration of the family. Evolution is trying to tell you you need a male and a female. Like if we just had males, you'd be deranged in a different way, but you just have females and so you're deranged in that direction. And we, we have just effeminized our culture to an insane degree. And remember, men can largely be clocked as they're trying to get laid. And so if the way to get laid is to act more effeminate, then they're going to act more effeminate, which is wild. Uh, and doesn't get you laid, PS. But they think it will. And so they run the, it's literally known as the sneaky strategy.
Okay. So there's that inside the the mouse traps in people's brain when you say feminization of culture that they think like, "Tom, women aren't the problem." Women are partly the problem. But is, I think if I can like talk for you, there are certain characteristics that we attribute to feminisa, feminization that you're leaning on. There's too much empathy. There's too much. Yes. But let's, let's not double down. Stop that. Drew's like trying to save you. Goddamn it. I'm looking at the chat, bro. Take the cue.
But here's the reality, that women are incredibly necessary and needed. Evolution has shaped them to be half of the whole that makes society run. Men are incredibly important and needed. Evolution has shaped them to be half of the whole that makes society run. When either of them derange, so masculinity deranged in Nazi Germany. There was just no compassion. You, you can't have compassion and shove people in an oven. That's wild. Yeah. So, we, we know what that looks like. And then femininity is running wild right now. And so it just so happens at this moment, brought to you by weak men and systems that have become overly feminized. Now it is a double whammy of it just has way more women in it and that we have taught men to emasculate themselves for whatever 30 years.
So you put the two together, it's not like women are to blame. This is a men and women are out of balance right now. It just so happens that in creating the out-of-balance, they're spilling over here. Now, I'm actually more nervous to say the following because I, I think this is way more likely for people to run with and become problematic. But I do think ultimately that when men are weak, then it creates the space for women to become out of balance. It's like in my marriage, Lisa and I hold each other in dynamic tension. And if I didn't hold her in dynamic tension, she would man. And I would really like to say these things in front of her. I am not bashful about this, nor do I expect her to, she might ask clarifying questions or whatever, but I don't expect her to disagree with this. That if left to her own devices, she would run the company very emotionally, and that would be to the detriment of the company. And the company is far less likely to survive her absence than it would be to survive my absence. So without me, the company's far more, if I said that backwards, the company's far more likely to collapse if she's running it than it is if I'm running it. Now, she is very, very useful in keeping my lesser impulses in check. But when you mistake emotion for a guiding light to logical outcomes, you run into trouble. She does it all the time. She knows she does it and so she'll turn to me and be like, "Look, I feel this way, but I get it's a feeling and so make sure that you take us where we need to go." That part of the dynamic tension because my wife contributes as an equal peer to me just in different ways. But that part of the dynamic tension requires me to be strong and not to buckle when I feel like maybe I'm being mean or whatever. It's like, "No, we can't do that. It's got to be done as a policy. It's got to look like this. Otherwise, we're going to spin off into this thing." And I get that that's upsetting to you. And there have been many times where my business partner and I have had to have a conversation away from the team so that I could say, you're having this, the way that you're processing this is emotional. You cannot bring this in front of the team. You cannot do that. I know that people hearing me say those words are like, "That's grotesque. How can this guy say things like that?" It's like, mother, how are you not saying things like that? That is your job. And if my wife ever sees me being a robot, she's going to say, "Stop being a robot. This company is staffed with humans." And they have loves and passions and if you don't integrate that, this company will also die a different death, but it will die a death. And it's true. And so I need and want her to say those things and she needs and wants me to say the things that I am saying. So it's like we've somehow become deranged as a culture and we don't think men need to say, in a very humane, loving way that recognizes women as theiring peers. I don't know how many times I have to say that, but like where you go, "Hey, my job is to make sure that we don't let this become an emotional rationalization."
That's precisely what you're doing right now. I understand that me saying that's going to make you mad and I don't care. Not that I don't care, but like we're going to have to set that aside. We can deal with that, whatever that's doing to our relationship later in a side conversation, but right now, no, we're not going to do that that way. And I think that we have trained men to fear their aggression. And I don't mean with women. I mean to feel like, yeah, I know what's right in this moment. And I'm going to be a warrior for it. I'm going to say no. Like that's we're trying to get here. And the way that I'm saying that we're going to get there is the way that's going to lead us there. And I will always listen if you have a better idea. Of course, but it's got to be an idea based in logic, not based in emotion. So I mean, you've given me every opportunity to eject out. And I understand that I haven't taken it, but it's like if I'm actually going to be useful to people, I've got to say the real thing.
And I'm glad you brought that around cuz literally I was dealing with my first, this is my first teenage crash out with Lynn and I didn't know how to handle it. I had to call my sister to talk me off a ledge cuz I'm like, "Wait, like, am I tripping? Cuz there's a lot of emotion coming here. I'm like, did, did I, I feel like I'm doing the right thing here. Like and I had to just look around to just have somebody else." And she was like, "No, you have to remember like, she's a young teenage girl. She's going through a wave of emotions. Like it's not the end of the world. It's okay. I know that she might have said things that was hard to hear and there might be some truth in you have to talk to through her too. But that doesn't mean fold immediately under that pressure and then acquiesce to that." So there is something.
I am now your sister super fan. No, but that there is something to that like, yes, as men in society, we do have to draw that line. And then even on the on the flip side of that, there are times when women, when you are right to acquiesce or you are right in this one aspect of the area, but you're not looking at the totality of the picture and things like that. So I completely understand how that works on an individual dynamic. I understand how that can bleed into the family dynamic. We have specific examples. But from a society level, I think is a part that I'm a bit more confused. Like, how do we, we can't say every man needs to say no to a woman today. Like, how do we?
Yeah, that would be asinine. That's why I'm saying the reason I don't even like talking about that side is it will be read like that, and people will think this [ __ ] like I don't even need to listen to her. It's like, yeah, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. When my wife speaks up, I'm like, "Hold on, I want to hear that. Tell me what you think I'm missing." My wife is extremely insightful. She understands me very well and will often see things that I miss. I, so I'm so skeptical of my ability to be right all the time that like I just want to, I want her to debate me. I want her to push back. I do not want her to fold. And so all of that, and by the way, she's had to say like, "Listen, sometimes you're too hard. You're too tenacious. You're too aggressive." And so it's like, fair and I appreciate that and thank you. And so, and one of the biggest arguments we've ever had where she was properly upset was me becoming a robot. And she's like, "You become so divorced from your emotions." Unfortunately, she, the only words she could say were, "I want my husband back." And I just was like, "I do not know what that [ __ ] means." And so, it took us a very long time for me to realize, "Okay, what you're saying is you need me to broadcast and receive love." Yes, cool. Got it. Now, that was on the back of some yelling and screaming where it was like, I don't understand what's happening.
Yeah. But anyway, you get there in the end. So, yes, I don't want men to just go, "I'm just going to say no and whatever I think is right." I'm here to put boundaries. It's like in a high functioning diad, you're here to figure out what the right path is forward. When the reasoning being done is emotional, then it's to go, okay, those are feelings. Got it. But feelings do not necessarily help us get to our goal. Cause and effect helps us get to our goal. And so my job is to go, I need to integrate those feelings into the experience because my job isn't to create a life that you hate. My job is to create a life that you are in love with. But we have to be able to state our goals and then use cause and effect to get there. And so that's where I want to see men get to is to have a spine. By the way, if you want to get laid, always be willing to walk away. That's the only way. And so once you, your strategy for impressing women is to go become extraordinary at something, to want to partner with them, to listen to them, to hear them, to understand them, to be emotionally available to them, but at the same time have an agenda and say, we both agree this is what we're trying to do and it's my job to really map out the cause and effect of how we're going to get there. Anytime you see something I don't, to integrate that and it's your job to make sure that I don't become a motionless automata who lives only to serve a goal. And it's like that dynamic for hundreds of thousands, millions of years has just been evolution trying to make sure that we keep our kids alive long enough to have kids. And at some point, we got so good at both being able to have sex without having kids. Prosperity has been so long lived that we haven't had to remember, oh, we need dynamic tension between the two groups. And more economic forces have deranged it by forcing women into the workforce, yada yada, which I'm happy to talk about at any time. I love that women are in the workforce. Impact Theory has its incredible fair share of extraordinary women, but I would tell all of them they need to run an audit on what their life is going to feel like in their 50s and 60s if they don't have kids and if they prioritize their career as my wife has done, by the way, for anybody confused. But we had those conversations. What do your 50s and 60s look like? How do you account for you will have a strong desire to nurture? You will have a strong desire to play the um grandma role of being able to pass on your wisdom. How are you going to fulfill that? Because otherwise you will feel adrift. There will be nothing that gives your life meaning and purpose.
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