Transcription
I've had a lot of grief, grief, and war. Then I would unborn it. It's then I would say, "I wouldn't take nothing there. I wouldn't take nothing. I wouldn't take nothing up for my journey now." Well, I would take nothing for my journey now. I gotta make it to Heaven somehow, though the devil tips me and tries to turn me around. Well, well, he's offered everything. If I could still, I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now. There's nothing in this world could ever take the place I got to love. Silver and gold can never buy one touched from above. I win, my soul needs a healing. I began to feel is fine. Isn't anyone say, "I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now." I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now. I gotta make it to Heaven somehow, though the devil tips me and tries to turn me around. Yes, he's offered everything that's got a name for the wealth that I want and worldly fame. If I could still, I wouldn't take nothing on my journey now. There's nothing in this world could ever take a place I got. Love, silver and gold, and the touch from above. Oh, and my soul needs a healing. Why? Because [Music] I say, "I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now." Nothing on my journey now. I gotta make it to Heaven somehow, though the devil tempts me and tries to turn me around. Yes, he's all for everything. If I could still, I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now. Well, I wouldn't take nothing but journey. I gotta make it to Heaven somehow, though the devil tempts me and tries to turn me around. [Music] He's offered everything that's got a name for the wealth that I want and we're only famous on my journey now. Now, if I could still, I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now. If I could still, I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now.
You can return to your seats and be seated. I leaned over to Brother Henry. I said, "There's not a whole lot I'm certain of. One thing I'm certain of." One, Brother Floyd Bozeman sings that song. All it takes is about one person to tear out and cuddle out. I said, "If somebody ran right now, we couldn't put this thing back together. It'd be all the pieces." My goodness. I um, we have classes all over our campus. If we could, I'd like to stretch our hands toward the youth and the kids as they have their class. Lord, just move over our classes. Just do what only You can do. God, touch these kids. God, and just move like only You can. Why don't you worship with Sister now as she sings? [Music]
[Music] Christmas [Music] foreign [Music] thank you [Music] all ready [Music] you've already done [Music] this song of praise [Music] us [Music] if you never do anything [Music] else [Music] I'll praise you at all times [Music] I'll praise you at all times. I'll praise you, praise you at all times. [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] thank you. We're gonna fool around here and have church if we're not careful. My goodness. You can return to your seats and remain standing. It's like to welcome every guest. The second service. I am. I sat out there this morning as I listened to Brother Brister teach on the Holy Ghost and preach on the Holy Ghost. And I just thought, my God. I looked around and I'm convinced of one thing. This is the greatest church on Earth. Thank you. It's never a comparison between churches, but I just tell you there, what's going on here. I'm just telling you, when you have just almost so many guests week after week that you can't really put a number on it, something big is happening. And I'm just glad to be a part of it. If I could get some ushers to help. [Music] And while we talk about how great it is, it takes funds to make this place great. So we're going to give you an opportunity to be blessed. Let's pray over this offering. Lord, we love You, God. We ask that You bless the tithes and the offering and the gift and giver alike. You may bring your tithes and offering at this time. Worship together with Sister Busby as she sings. [Music] [Applause] [Music] From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring, every creature unique. It all seems all exclaiming in this cotton pool, uncontainable. You place the stars in the sky and You know them by name. You are amazing God. [Music] Through our knees as we humbly proclaim, You are amazing God. Told lightning bolts where they should go. Or seen heavenly storehouses with snow. Imagine the sun give source to its life. [Music] Yet conceals it to bring us some nights. Indescribable, uncontainable. You place the stars in the sky and You know that my name. You are amazing God. [Music] [Music] You are amazing God. Indescribable, uncontainable. You place the stars in the sky and You know that my name. You are amazing God. [Music] All shook, we from through our knees as we hardly proclaim. You are amazing guys. You are amazing guys. [Music] Hallelujah! How many of you believe He's amazing? What an amazing God. [Music]
If you'll remain standing, I want to go to the word of the Lord. I want to go to First Corinthians chapter 16 and verse 33. First Corinthians chapter 16 and verse 33 for your consideration for a few minutes today. I want to say welcome. We have a number of guests in three o'clock service. Thank you for being with us. And thank you, Pine Grove Pentecostal Church, for your faithfulness. First Corinthians chapter 16 and verse 33. While you're turning there, how many of you noticed the groundwork that's being prepared for more parking lot? You notice that? [Applause] We need more room around here, and that's a good problem. [Music] Good problem. I want to thank so many people. Brother Arnie Walters, Brother John Barfield, Brother Aaron Davidson, Brother Robbins. These men have worked together among others that help with them. Brother Morrison, Brother Morrison, my dad, so many people have worked so hard to get that ready. And they'll be pouring concrete here, I guess, this week, if the weather permits. So we're excited about that. Next Sunday, I'm going to give you an opportunity to give toward that. [Music] Um, as you well know, it's going to cost a lot of money to pour that parking lot. If you want to be a part of giving toward that, we'd appreciate it. If not, we're going to do it anyway because it's got to be done. But I know this, I've never given toward anything in the kingdom of God that I didn't get blessed. And so I, I want to give you an opportunity to be a part of that. So next Sunday, if you want to, along with your tithes and offerings, just take an envelope, write "Parking Lot" on it, and that's what it'll go toward is the, the expense of that parking lot. And I appreciate you so much for your giving because in just a little while, we're going to be giving toward a new church, new auditorium. First Corinthians, First Corinthians chapter 16 and verse 33. First Corinthians chapter 16 and verse 33. I'm sorry. [Music] Over. We okay? Well, here's what it says: "Don't be deceived. Bad company ruins good morals." God bless you. You can be seated. "Be not deceived: bad company ruins good morals." I want to teach for just a few minutes, just a few minutes. I want to teach again, one word. I want to talk to you about boundaries. I want to talk to you for a few minutes about boundaries. Now, there's one thing that I've figured out in pastoring, and sometimes I'm a slow learner. I wish I could learn things quickly, but I don't. I usually have to wind up my bad situation and I say, "Oh, now I understand." Anybody else? Anybody else get some of those bulk lessons in life? One of the things I found out after, when, when I first became a pastor, I stayed sick all the time and stayed in the hospital. I, I got to visit the hospital about every year or so. And, uh, the reason why is because I was trying to live for God for everybody. I was going to make them live for God whether they wanted to or not. And, um, the one thing that I figured out is that if someone does not want to live for God, there's just, there's just absolutely nothing you can do about it. And I have done so much better health-wise since I started just doing everything I could to create a climate and an atmosphere to where people could successfully live for God if they wanted to. If they wanted to, they couldn't find a better place with more opportunities, love for God. And this is when I also decided that guidelines in a church were for those that, that wanted them, because you can't create enough boundaries or fences or guidelines for people that want to crawl over, over you. You just, if they want to crawl over, they're going to. And so I want to present to you today the concept of boundaries, but these are boundaries that, that you've got to develop on your own if you want to live for God. Here's the thing: you can't successfully live for God and be victorious and be happy if you don't establish boundaries. If you don't have boundaries, you'll never successfully live for God. Living for God will be a struggle for you. I wrote several things down that's going to happen to people that don't have boundaries. People that don't have boundaries crash and burn. People that don't have boundaries, their marriage is derail. People that don't have boundaries, their children are destroyed. People that don't have boundaries, break up their homes. People that don't have boundaries, lose their careers. People that don't have boundaries, their businesses go bankrupt. These are just a few things that I've noticed in over 30 years of being in the ministry with people that refuse to establish boundaries in their life. Now, when you start talking about boundaries, people immediately start feeling restricted. They immediately start repulsing against you and, and start thinking, "Well, you have a cult. This is cultish behavior." But the truth of the matter is, is it doesn't matter if you go to a Pentecostal church, a denominational church, a Catholic church. It doesn't matter if you don't go to church at all. If you live a life without boundaries, bad things are going to happen in your life and in your world. Now, for some reason, a lot of people think that you're more Christian the less boundaries you have. And the reason they feel this way is because they're so afraid of hurting someone's feelings with their boundaries. Now, if you think for a moment that I'm proposing to you that we should go around hurting people's feelings and being mean to people and just call it boundaries, you would be wrong. You would be wrong if you think that I think that we ought to just run around hurting people's feelings and being mean to people. The other side of it is, is there is a, there is a theme called altered behavior. There's a thing called altered behavior. And, um, I'm gonna get down here because I'm going to teach these girls today. We'll talk to these girls a little while, see if they'll let me fit in a few words today. Um, see, the deal is, is, is that when you, when you, with an honest heart and an honest spirit, talk to someone about the fact that you feel like that they've encroached across the boundary, and you do it lovingly and with kindness, they will alter their behavior. Now, you say, "Well, I'm afraid that I'll lose them as a friend if I have this discussion with them." I want every one of you here to hear me right now: if you lose someone as a friend or as a brother or sister or whatever, because you have an honest, heartfelt conversation with them, you never had them to begin with. And somewhere down the road, you would have lost them anyway. All you're doing by not being honest is you're kicking the can down the road. You're, you're prolonging an inevitable crisis if you cannot have a conversation with them. Now, even as a, as a pastor, just like this situation we just had, no one knows that they're, that they're loved anymore. These kids know their pastor loves them. These, these girls right here know no one lives in a fight for them like me. So that's why you can, you can say something. If you want to, man, I've been sitting right where they are. I know what it's like to sit on the second row and somebody says something is funny and it just keeps going and the next thing you know, you've forgotten you're even in church. It's just, I've done it a thousand times. But you've got to be willing. You've got to be willing in your life and in your situation. Parents, one of the reasons that we have so many delinquents today is because parents are afraid to establish boundaries with their own children that live in their home. You have a situation where, where parents want to be their kid's friend, and that's not your job to be their friend. Let me tell you what you'll be, your their friend when they're an adult, if you'll be their parent while they're a child. If, if you're not their parent when they're a child, they won't want to be your friend when you're an adult. They're an adult because there will be a loss of respect. There's got to be an establishment of boundaries. There's got to be hard conversations that's had, and no one wants to have those hard conversations. You know, one of the, one of the toughest things for me as a pastor when I started pastoring was to have those hard conversations. I didn't want to. I would have almost avoided at any cost until one day I realized, if I'm going to have a church, I can't let everybody in this church run over me. I've got to establish that I'm the pastor. If I don't, it's going to be Laodicea. It's going to be the pews running the pulpit in a few years. I'll just have to leave and somebody else to come in here, and then I'm perpetuating bad behavior. So somebody has got to have the hard conversations, and it might as well be me. It might as well be me. And so I want to tell each and every one of you that you will not live for God successfully unless you set boundaries with your children, with co-workers, with unsaved family, with unsaved friends, and with people in the church. I want to just, in the next 30 minutes, outline several areas for I've seen people struggle and people have problems inside the church and outside the church because of a refusal to set boundaries. See, some people think being the Christian is the same thing as being a doormat, and that's not what it means. Being a Christian does not mean that you have to let everyone treat you bad in the name of being a Christian. And you can't let people say, "Well, what kind of Christian are you?" when you stand up for yourself. If they want to say that, then they can. They can believe what they want to believe. But the truth of the matter, Jesus Christ himself stood up for himself. Jesus Christ, the Christ, the greatest Christian that ever lived, planted a whip and went into the temple and whipped everyone out of the temple because they crossed boundaries. They crossed boundaries, and He dealt with it. And I promise you, He wasn't saying, "I'm sorry, please forgive me. I'm sorry." And someone says, "You can't lift your voice and be a Christian?" Well, I promise you, He lifted His voice. I promise you, when, even that temple with that whip, He was screaming to the top of His lungs. It's not, not being a Christian when you stand up for righteousness. And there's balance to everything. And so that doesn't mean that you become a screaming banshee and say, "Well, Brother Copeland said it's all right." It's not what it means. It means that there's a time and a season for all things, all things under the sun. And when you know in your heart that you're right, and you know in your heart that you've got to set a boundary, set press to that. See, there's a number of things that I do here as a pastor that is precedent-setting. It is things that I could allow to go, but once you allow them to go, they're only going to be harder to stop them now because it's going to be like water running downhill. The best place to stop water from running downhill is at the top of the mountain because you're, it's going to have momentum on its side halfway down. And so there's some things that, there's times that people in this church feel like I overreact when I say, "Absolutely, we're not doing that. Stop that now." Well, why is that? Couldn't you just let it go? I could, but other people are going to see that precedent, and it's a lot or easier to stop two people from doing it than stop 200 from doing it. It's precedent-setting. So the best place to draw, draw a boundary is in the beginning, because two people probably won't run through a fence, but 200 will obliterate it. So you got to start, start, stop before the precedent is ever set. Not making sense to you? See, some people let things go too long. Now, I want to say this. I want to say that in all things in living for God, you've got to have wisdom. And, and so you need to pray every day that you live for wisdom. Every day that you live, you need to pray for wisdom and words. The two things that I pray for every day that I live is, "God, give me wisdom to live this day and give me the right words to say for every crisis and every situation that I face today." Let me have the wisdom and the words to deal with it, because I'm in the people business. You know, I, I wish I was a farmer because cows don't get their feelings hurt. But more people, they're all up in their feelings. And so every day I'm dealing with situations that could cause people to react in other ways. Until you realize this, bear with me because I'm fixing to transition. I'm fixing to segue into some other things, so please don't miss this. Until you realize that really, it's not your words that cause people to react, it's really their own character. And you're not going to fix that no matter how you respond. If they have unbuilt character, then there's nothing you can say or do to cause them to respond properly. They're going to respond the way they're going to respond, no matter what. And so you have to do the best you can. So what you end up doing is this: you end up understanding that I'm not going to change the way they're going to respond, no matter how I act. Their response is gonna be whatever their character is. They're going to respond within the constraints of their own character. So what I've got to do is make sure they can't blame it on me. Make sure that if they blame it on me, they're lying. If they blame it on something I said or something I did, then they're gonna have to work real hard. They're gonna have to climb way up that pine tree to make that stick, because they know better. They know I did everything in my power to handle this situation properly. But I'll tell you what you can't do: you cannot run scared of other people's reactions. And here's the reason why: if they find out they can control you with anger, then you've got an angry man on your hands. If they can control how you respond to them by getting mad and pitching fits and all that, then that's what they're going to do every time. And it's your fault. You created that atmosphere by not setting boundaries. And there's some parents that live their life manipulated by angry children because the, the child knows, "If I cry, if I pitch a fit, if I fall out in the floor, if I threaten to leave, if I, if I threaten to abandon, if I threaten to run away," well, then, then I can just get what I want from them. And what you don't understand is that they were going to do that. They do that anyway, no matter what you did. If that's going to run away, they'd run away anyway. If they're going to act up, they're going to act up. If they're going to pitch fits, they're going to pitch fits anyway. You're going to have to quit owning someone else's behavior. [Applause] Now, somebody said, "We're really Copeland, is all this that you're teaching Bible-based?" Well, let's look at it. Proverbs 22 and 24. If we're struggling with our screens, I need somebody to read it for me. Can we put it on the screen? If somebody need to read it. Proverbs 22 and 24. There we go. "Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man thou shalt not go." You got to set a boundary. If people choose to be angry and pitch fits and throw fits, don't own their behavior. That's their behavior, not yours. And you're not causing it. Proverbs, let's look at Proverbs 19 and 19. Proverbs 19 and 19. And remember my launching of that is, "Be not deceived: bad company ruins good morals." You can't take ownership of someone else's behavior. "A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou wilt deliver him, yet thou must do it again." You know what the Bible is teaching? Set boundaries. You're not, not a Christian when you tell someone, "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to help you." And you know what they're going to say because they're trying to manipulate you? "Well, what kind of Christian are you? Don't you know the Bible says that you're, you're supposed to help people that are in need of help?" That, don't you know? No, no, that's not what the Bible says. Now, what the Bible says, the Bible says to feed the hungry. It doesn't say to support people that keep needing support. Set a boundary. You see, are you giving them a leg up? Are you making them a dependent? Because ninety percent of people, you make them a dependent. And that's what the Bible says. The Bible says, "Go ahead and help them." They'll just do it again. They're going to come next week, and they're going to need $50 more. And the week after that, they're going to need $100. And if you would tell them no in the beginning, you wouldn't have a problem. But give them money three times, and then when they come ask for it and you don't give it to them, they're gonna crush you because you've, you've, you've created a dependent. Are you listening to me? It does not make you not a Christian to set boundaries. To look at someone and say, "You don't need a meal, you need a job." [Applause] "You don't need money, you need to quit being lazy." "You don't need money, you need to quit misusing your money." You see, some people say, "Well, I just can't stand to see someone not eat." Well, let me just tell you this: let them not eat about two times, they'll figure something out. You see, some of you, you would never go buy cocaine for somebody, but you'll give them money for other things when they spent the original money on cocaine. Guess what? It's the same thing. It's the same thing. Whether they spent the original $50 buying cocaine, then you give them $50 to pay their rent, or whether they took your $50, went and bought cocaine, it's the same thing. It's the, and some of you are so scared of being accused of not being a Christian that you refuse to set boundaries. And I'm telling you, you're not going to be happy. You're not going to be content. You're not going to be fulfilled. And let me tell you, let me go one step further, and you're not going to be blessed if you don't set boundaries because God is not going to bless you so that you can take your blessing and support kids and grandkids that use it to buy drugs. You need boundaries because you're letting someone else steal your joy and your happiness and your peace in life. Boundaries. You see, we always use Second Corinthians 6 and 14. If you go there, please. We always use Second Corinthians 6 and 14. For dating and marriage relationships, but that's not all it's talking about. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" That's not just talking about who you date and who you marry. It could be talking about a drug-addicted granddaughter. Don't yoke yourself to her. What are you talking about, Brother Copeland? You know what? They're always going to be our kids. They're always going to be our grandkids. They're always going to be our great-grandkids. And we're going to have to love them. We're going to have to love them. But you understand, they're making choices. Someone said, "Well, I don't believe that really comes." You just don't understand addiction. You're telling me I don't understand addiction? I've pastored in Sebastopol, Mississippi for 25 years. This is the most addicted town per capita. I guarantee you, we have more addicts than, than Chicago per capita. I'm coming across addicts every day of my life. But guess what? They rarely want to go to rehab. They'll fight you like a banshee if you try to put them in rehab. Guess where they'd be if they wanted help? They don't want help. They want $50. If they wanted help, they'd go to, they'd go to rehab. So what they want, they want $20. If they can't get it to give it, give it. You give it to them, they'll steal it from you. They want another hit. And they're making choices. And you can't let their bad choices ruin your life. You set boundaries. They got their life. You have your life. There needs to be a clear-cut say, "Don't yoke yourself to them." It's okay to love them. [Applause] If they come over and you're cooking collard greens and cornbread, set them down at the table and feed them and love them and tell them how much you love them. Tell them how much you appreciate them. Then draw a line and say, "Hey, if you ever want help, I'm here. But until you want help, all I can do is love you. Can't give you $20, but I can love you." I'm setting boundaries because my life and your life can't co-exist if I'm gonna have peace and happiness. I gotta have joy in the Holy Ghost, and I can't have joy in the Holy Ghost if I'm yoked together with someone that's making bad choices. Now, you know what? When you get up out of this message and teaching, you've got to go do what you want to do, and you've got to make your own decisions. But I'm just telling you, I've watched families and I've watched situations for over 30 years of being in the ministry, and I've never seen anyone yet give a drug addict enough money, it'll never be enough. You'll never give them that last $20 bill. And when they OD, just remember you paid for it. Just remember they owed Deed on your $20. But if you want happiness, you won't join. You want peace, you've got to set boundaries. Now, these are not the only boundaries that I'm going to talk about today. And this would be not only equally yoked with unbelievers, it is talking about dating people that don't have a Holy Ghost. It is talking about trying to marry someone that don't have the same set of values that you have. You set yourself up for a life of misery. In fact, we have a book in the bookstore. It's called "25 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married." 25 questions that you need to solve between you and your spouse before you get married. And if any of those 25 you can't agree on, then you need to reconsider whether the link with them for the rest of your life because they're situations that you're going to have to agree on if you're going to have a happy marriage. Here's what the Bible says: II Thessalonians 3 and 10. Second Thessalonians chapter 3 and verse 10. And this is in the same Bible that says to visit those that are imprisoned and feed the hungry and clothe the naked and all that kind of stuff. The problem is, when you live in the United States of America, there's very few people that's actually naked or hungry. If people are in a bad spot in the United States of America, the greatest chance is is because they're making bad decisions. There's no sense of me buying a meal for someone that smokes. There's no sense in me feeding someone that drinks. Well, it just got very, very, very quiet. There's no sense in me buying meals for someone that's addicted to drugs. Don't you understand? They're making choices. They're not naked. They're not hungry. They're home. This is what they're finding out in these cities. That they're finding out that they're homeless by choice. Some of these cities are setting up, are sitting up places, shelters for people, and, and, and helping them with employment and all that, and they can't get anybody to stay there because they don't want to. They're not on the street because they haven't got a place to live. They're out on the street because they don't want a place to live because that's going to require them to pay an electric bill instead of buy drugs. It's a life choice, folks. And I'm not trying to be heartless, I'm trying to be real with you. "For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should they eat." If you won't work a job, don't expect someone else to feed you. If you gamble your money away at the gambling casino, I'm not, not a Christian if I won't pay your rent at the end of the month. If you go on a drug binge and then can't pay your apartment rent, I'm not, not a Christian if I'm not willing to go down and pay your apartment rent for you or pay your light bill. Well, I can't believe I'm getting in trouble. I'm literally feeling resistance talking about this. I'm reading this out of your Bible. You've got to set some boundaries, or you're going to wreck your own show. I, I, there's literally people that allow their kids to sink their ship financially and then blame God because God didn't bless them. It's not God's fault if you're not blessed. See, blessing does not mean that you can take your money and just spend any way you want to spend it. You've got, you, somebody said, "Well, I, I just believe that God was going to bless me financially." Not if you take your money and use it in unwise places. I had, I had a guy one time that, well, I don't want to, but when you're in a small town, somebody can figure out who you're talking about. But he loved, loved to run race cars, and he had a race car habit that was costing him several hundred dollars a week to run these race cars. And he just came to me and said, "I just, I just cannot believe that I've been paying my tithes and I've been paying my offerings and I, I've been given like I should, and I can't pay my bills, and I just can't believe that God wouldn't bless me." I said, "Sir, the problem is not that God's not blessing you. It's that you're not financially in a position right now to spend several hundred dollars a week with these race cars. If you would get financially independent in five years, you may be able to splurge on something like that." Now, not that I'm for that. I believe a Holy Ghost-filled people are stay away from stuff like that. I don't believe that's a good. Do you understand? I'm not saying that people ought to go to the racetrack. That becomes its own God in an, and of itself. I'm just indicating that people get these habits that cost them several hundred dollars a, a week, and you've got to look at your finances and say, "You know what? I may not be able to afford that right now. Maybe I need to get some financial traction, get on my feet, get my business going, then I might could invest in something like that. But right now, this habit is sinking me every week before I can get on my feet." In other words, we're back to there's a time and a season for all things. Some people, it's not that God minds you having some extra stuff, it's just may not right now, may not be the time. Am I making sense to anybody? You got to set some boundaries in your life and some boundaries in your world. You got to have boundaries, and you got to have wisdom, and there's a time and a season for all things. I got six minutes. I got to get done. All right, let's talk about some other boundaries that you need to have in your life. We just, very, very quickly. You need to have some boundaries in your life concerning relationships. We got to have boundaries in our lives concerning dating. And the church can't set every boundary. You know, we have boundaries that you, you court, you go in groups until you turn 18. That's a good boundary. You need to stick with that. Some people are still not mature enough at 18 to just start dating. And you know what? You need parents, and you need, you need accountability in your life. Parents, just because that's the rule of the church doesn't mean you just turn your kid loose. Can I tell you something else? Young ladies, and this is the reason, one of the reasons why I wanted y'all so bad to pay attention to what I'm saying, because we've got some of the most beautiful, wonderful young ladies in the world in this church. Y'all are beautiful. You're awesome. You're great. Let me tell you something, young ladies, and this is just a good rule of thumb for you: don't be the pursuer in a relationship. I promise you, it'll never work. And if it does, you don't want him. If you pursue a guy and that's the way you get him, that's the wrong guy. You don't want that guy. Pursuing works as much as the world wants to take away gender equity, there isn't such a thing. There is a difference between guys and girls. I promise you, there is a difference. When guys and girls, there is a vast difference between guys and girls. It's just, it's as wide as the ocean, and nothing's going to change that. And let me just tell you right now, guys want to be the pursuer in a relationship. And the minute you start pursuing a guy, you'll never get him because he wants to be the one that chases. And someone said, "Well, how do I let a guy know I like him?" You don't want to. The minute you let him know you like him, he's out of there. He's gone. Now, I'm just telling y'all, you can sit out there all you want to and disagree with me, but I'm the one that for 30 years has been involved in watching couples and how they operate. And if a guy is so insecure that you've got to pursue him, and if that works and you get him, you won't want what you have once you get him because something ain't right somewhere with him. Either he ain't got all the cards to make up a full deck, or he's so insecure that he's got problems, or he's so immature that he didn't completely formed yet. But the minute he becomes a guy that's worth having, he wants to be the pursuer in the relationship. And if you chase him, he's just gonna run like a jackrabbit. Listen to me. No one, no, no man would deer hunt if the minute they sit up in the woods, the deer was saying, "Here I am." The hunting would be over. I'm going to tell you, if the deer was out there saying, "Here I am, I'm coming to get you, baby," I'm telling you, they take their deer blind now and they'd go to the house. The whole reason they're out there deer hunting is they want the chase. You know the best thing you can do is hide. The best thing you can do is run from them. You know the woman they want is the one they can't quite track down. I promise you. If you're chasing them, that the minute you start chasing them, they think, "I wonder what's wrong with her. Something's bad wrong there somewhere. She wouldn't be chasing me." I'm just telling you, set boundaries. The more unavailable you are, the more your value goes up. All you do when you, when you is you, when you make yourself available, is devalue yourself. Let me give you one more word of wisdom since I'm over here with a little, well, you know what? This applies for both sides. It's four o'clock, so let me throw this in and we'll close. One of the main things I see happen, now I mentioned it earlier in the baby dedication, it's on my mind again, so I'm gonna throw it in, is this: divide and conquer. Kids love to pit their parents against each other to get what they want. Let me tell you what else kids do. This very unwise young people, I see this most among you, and said you're in here today, let me mention it to you. Kids like to divide their parents against the church to get what they want. They'll, they'll do this: "I'm not being treated right at the church," and it's all to manipulate their parents to get what they want. Let me tell you where you lose on that, kids, is you're, you're dividing your parents against the church or the school or our school teachers or the youth department or whatever, to manipulate and get what you want. But let me tell you where it's going to backfire on you is when it really works. And that is the parents say, "Well, you know what? This is about the fourth time this happened. We're out of here. We won't be back to that church. We won't be back to that school. We won't be back to that youth group." And then all of a sudden, you're like, "Oh, my word. I didn't know you were going to react like that." Well, now the problem is, is you're taking me away from the youth group that I want to be with, or you're taking me away from the church that I want to be with. And then you've got to back out of your story. Well, that's not really the way it happened. I mean, I didn't know. I didn't know he was going to leave. So parents, what I'm telling you is, better set some boundaries. And what you better decide is that kids are manipulators, and you better set some boundaries and just say, "What I always told my kids," because I promise you, my kids came home with all the same stories. And you know what I said? "Work it out." "If that's going on, work it out, because that's what school and youth group and all that's about. It's teaching you how to problem-solve." So get down there and see if you can't figure out a way to work it out with that teacher. Get back down there and see if you can't figure out a way to work it out with those kids. Get down there and see if you can't figure out a way to work it out without youth staff, because guess what? That's what life's about. It's about negotiations, about working things out. And you know what? You've probably got pretty good teachers, pretty good youth staff, pretty good kids that you're going to church with. And if you'll get down there and figure out a way to apologize, you can probably figure out a way to work that situation out. But I'll tell you what you're not going to do: you're not going to drag me into it. I'm not going to be down there trying to negotiate with your teachers because this has given you a grand opportunity to figure out how to negotiate. Set some boundaries. You know what I wanted to get into, and I don't have time to. Well, we'll do that another day. It's four o'clock. Stand together. Lift chance. Thank God for an opportunity to be in the house of God. Would you do that? Jesus, dear Lord, thank You for an opportunity to be in Your house. Thank You for an opportunity to work with Your people. We have the greatest church. We have the greatest people in the world. God, teach me how to set great boundaries. I love You. God bless you. Shake hands. Tuesday night church, Wednesday night family prayer. You're just missed in Jesus' name.