Transcription
Most people hear the word manipulation and instantly start to get emotional. They picture some evil mastermind pulling the strings behind an innocent person. But that is a fantasy that only exists because it hides a much bigger, much uglier truth. Most people don't get manipulated because they're innocent. Okay?
There's this huge misrepresentation about manipulation that it only works on sweet, kind, innocent people. No, most people get manipulated because they refuse to take accountability for how predictable they are. By the way, my name is Gracie Draaskovich. If you recognize me, welcome back. If you're new here, welcome. I teach people things that everyone else is way too scared to say out loud. I post a new episode here every single week on Wednesday. And without further ado, let's just get right into this.
What is manipulation? Manipulation is not evil. Okay? It's neutral. Manipulation is not some personality trait. It's not a disorder. It's not even malicious by default. Manipulation is influence with awareness behind it. So do with that what you will. You can be upset, but that is the truth.
Every single human interaction since the beginning of time contains influence, tone, timing, emotional leverage, social pressure, incentives. You're being manipulated every single day. The only difference between who manipulates and who gets manipulated is who understands the game. Because life is one big game. It really is. It really is. If you're going to participate in society at all whatsoever, you need to understand people, how they work, why they do these things, how it goes. And the truth is, life is one big game. If you want to play it well and win, my channel is for you.
People love to say, "I just want everyone to be honest. Why isn't everyone so honest?" If I know anything about people, it's nobody wants the truth. Nobody can handle the truth. Nobody wants you to be honest with them. They want you to flatter them and dress them and butter them up and, you know, twist the truth so that it's what they want to hear. No one wants to hear. No one wants to be told the truth when the truth hurts. Okay? No, you don't wish everyone was honest. You just wish things went your way. You want everyone to be simple. You don't really want everyone to be honest because if everyone was honest, you would not be happy. And at the end of the day, honesty doesn't protect you from manipulation at all. Intelligence, intelligence does though. Being smart and intelligent and knowledgeable, that will save you from being manipulated.
So, who are the people that get manipulated the most? Let's talk about the real reason why all of you are out here getting played. You don't get manipulated just because you're a kind person. If you have empathy, that doesn't get you manipulated. If you're a good person, that doesn't mean that you are automatically manipulatable. If you avoid discomfort, you're very easy to manipulate. If you need external validation, very easy to manipulate. If you are terrified of conflict and you hate drama, we know you don't. But again, that characteristic will make you very easy to manipulate. That takes me to the next one, which is if you want to be liked more than you want to be respected, aka you're just a people pleaser, you are the easiest type of person to manipulate.
All of these types of people will call themselves nice. Okay, I'm a good person. I'm so nice. I put everyone above myself, right? The truth is, they're not putting anyone above themselves. They're putting their insecure self above everyone else because they want to be reassured that they're a great, amazing person. They're helping out that homeless person because they want everyone to think that they're a good person, not because they actually care and they want to see that person feel good or do good. They don't care about that. They care about this external validation. They don't actually care about the acts of being good. They want something out of it. And when you want things like that, even at the cost of your own dignity and the respect for yourself, that's extremely selfish. And it's extremely easy to control you. Niceness is just fear being disguised. Okay? Niceness is just fear being disguised as virtue. Some of the most evil, twisted, nastiest people I have ever met are so nice. One of the nicest people other people I've met cuz they're just so nice, you know? Mhm. They're so nice. They could never do any wrong. Please. It's a disguise to be seen as virtuous, and they're not.
If you are unwilling to say no, you're unwilling to walk away. Unwilling to sit with disapproval, you are not kind. You are easy. Easy to manipulate, easy to control, easy to take advantage of. And the world will exploit what's easy. They will exploit you. The whole world will exploit you. And this is why you're so easy to be controlled. And you are manipulatable.
I want to get back into the point I said earlier about how the nicest people I've ever met are actually the most toxic. These good people, these virtuous, nice, kind people walking amongst us that do everything for the pleasure of others. Really, really, these people are the most toxic. And I'm going to tell you why. This is the part that nobody wants to talk about. This is what nobody's going to tell you. The people who scream the loudest about manipulation are the ones that are doing it themselves. They just do it really badly. And what are the most common things we know about manipulation? Like what are the most common symptoms I guess of it? Passive aggression, guilt tripping, victimhood, emotional punishment, withholding affection. We could go on. These are all manipulation tactics. They're just really, really bad cowardly ones. Okay, this type of manipulation is so old school. so uh so stupid. We all know and catch on to it now these days. Like if you try to do these things, it's so obvious. We all can see and know what you're doing. This is the common, you know, manipulation that we think of when we say, "Oh, you're a manipulator. Oh, you want to manipulate people?" Blah, blah, blah. We think of these things. Okay?
This type of manipulation with the things I just listed are so cowardly because they want power and influence with no accountability. Skilled manipulators, influencers, people with influence and that are aware understand exactly what they're doing and at least most of the time they own it. Most of these good nice people manipulate while pretending they're not. And then when everyone sees what they're doing and it backfires on them, they go cry over there and they cry about, you know, why they're a victim and, you know, all the things. This is why they deserve what happens to them. Are you picking up what I'm putting down?
These types of good people, the most toxic ones we're really talking about, the ones that aren't really kind, the ones that aren't really nice, the people pleasers, the people that are super super selfish and want to be seen as nice by everyone. Even if they step on themselves, which I know it probably sounds confusing, like what do you mean selfish? They're betraying themselves. Yes, because we are smart and we see that, but they don't see it like that. They don't see it as betraying themselves. They think that they're doing themselves a justice by making everybody like them. But that is a selfish desire in itself. So that's what I mean. That's why these good people are some of the most toxic, disgusting, vile humans you could ever meet. Because if they're willing to trade themselves and their their dignity, what do you think they would do to you?
I used to have so many friends like this. I used to have a friend like this that's such a people pleaser and she, you know, hates drama, hates this, hates that really because she's weak and she wants to be liked by everyone. So, do you think that person is going to be loyal to you? Do you think that person was loyal to me? No. No. No, she wasn't. She screwed me over like the hardest hardest way you could ever like the person that you think is the most nice and so moral and so virtuous. No, they're really not. They are the hardest. They are the biggest manipulators that there is because they are the cowardly. They are cowards. That's why they guilt trip and they're passive aggressive and they'll betray you on a blue moon if it means that more people will like them. That is the opposite of having some virtue and morals and dignity. Okay, so that's what I mean when I say these people deserve everything that happens to them because they are so easily manipulated. [sighs]
This is why I don't feel bad for most victims. Okay, this is where people really really lose their minds. Not all victims are innocent. Most victims are volunteers. Okay, people are allergic to accountability. They will do anything to look like the victim. They will do anything for people to feel bad for them. They will do anything to avoid accountability and taking responsibility over their own actions. If you repeatedly ignore red flags, stay after someone blatantly disrespects you, reward someone's awful, horrible behavior, and you refuse to understand human nature when you want to be around it all day, every day. At some point, you know, it's not unlucky. It's you. You are choosing familiarity over self-respect and dignity for yourself.
People don't like to hear this because it removes the comfort of moral superiority. It means you are responsible for your own actions in life. It means your life is your fault. It means you have to be accountable. You have to be held to, you know, what you did. And the saddest part about all of this is most people would rather be miserable than accountable. Most people would rather be miserable than accountable. And that is the biggest problem with this world people. That is why jealousy exists. That is why miserable, disgusting, vile people exist. Cuz they would actually rather be miserable and live miserable lives than take some accountability and fix themselves. [sighs and gasps]
This is why I don't feel bad for victims. Okay, this is why I don't because at a certain obviously bad things happen to everybody. If something happens to you and you stand on business, good for you. I applaud you as you should. You deserve that for yourself. you should take care of yourself and shun the people and shame on the people that tried to screw you over. But if you're getting screwed over left and right because you refuse to use your eyeballs and see the world for what it really is and what people are really doing to you, then I can't feel bad for you. Why would I feel bad for you? You chose that at a there comes a point where you make the decision that that's what you want and that's what you're going to accept and that's what you're going to put up with in your life. You made that decision. No one's going to feel bad for you.
Here's the uncomfortable truth about power, influence, having authority. It exists whether you like it or not. We already know that, right? Like, there's no such thing as living in a fairy tale la La La Land where everyone treats everyone equally and we're all so happy and we all love each other. You know, that doesn't exist, right? Was it not obvious? Was it not obvious enough for you? It's a sick, sad, dark world we live in. And power dynamics are going to exist everywhere no matter what you do. Social power, emotional power, psychological power, they they all exist. Financial power, whatever whatever you can think of, it exists. You don't escape it by pretending like it's evil. Okay? It's so evil and so bad. I'm just going to remove myself and go live in fairy tale la land. That doesn't exist. It doesn't exist.
By choosing to by refusing to not recognize these things for yourself and accept the truth for what it is, you are neglecting yourself. You're choosing to live a naive life full of surprises, full of betrayal, full of poor decisionmaking because you refused to accept the truth. Back to what I was saying, you don't escape power dynamics by pretending it's evil. When you pretend like it's evil and you don't recognize it for what it truly is and make it work for you, you just hand it to somebody else. Somebody else is going to take it from you. The people who win in life are not the nicest. They are the most aware. They observe everything. They adapt. They don't outsource their safety to good intentions. Are you crazy? Are you crazy? If you refuse to understand manipulation, you are making the decision and choosing to be controlled.
Why am I teaching you this though? Why am I coming on here and letting you guys know all of this? I don't teach you guys this manipulation stuff so that you can go and hurt others. That defeats the whole purpose. I teach it because ignorance is very expensive. It will cost you everything. It will cost you a lot to be ignorant. Being naive is dangerous. You could lose everything. Being being naive, especially if you're young and you're beautiful, so dangerous to be naive. You have more of a duty to yourself to teach yourself the ways of the world when you are young and you are beautiful because you have a huge target on your back and everybody will try to exploit you. Pretending the world is fair is a luxury that weak people can't afford.
When you understand how manipulation works, it makes you harder to control, emotionally detached, which is a huge one. You'll be calmer. You'll have more strategy. You'll make smarter decisions. You'll take better care of yourself. You're under you'll understand situations more clearly. It'll be impossible to exploit you. You'll stop being surprised, offended, played. Isn't this everything you want? Like, these are only good things. These are only good things. These are things that could only help you.
To wrap this up, if you're angry right now, go ahead and unsubscribe. I don't care. This is the truth. This channel is not for people that need to feel morally superior in order to survive. If that's you, get out of here. This is for the smart people that want to have clarity more than comfort. People that want to understand the real way life works. People that are that want to learn things, want to do better for themselves, and want to win. I'm not here to teach you to be a nice good person, how to be the biggest people pleaser. There's other people out there for that. I'm here to teach you how to be effective when living your life. And I don't care how old you are. Yes, I mostly speak to young, beautiful, impressionable, naive young women, but you know, age doesn't decide when someone's going to exploit you or try to take advantage of you. Neither does your gender. You could be any gender, any age listening to this and learn something from me.
To wrap this up and end it, most people don't deserve protection from manipulation. Let's just be real. They deserve education, and most of them will refuse it. Subscribe to my channel if you aren't already. Let me know in the comments if you have any questions. And best of luck. I wish you the best of luck. And as always, I will see you guys on the next one. Bye.