Transcription
I've been coming to Patia for 6 years and now I live here. And most people that come here have no idea what they're walking into. Behind the nightlife of the girls and the cheap paradise that Patia offers, there is a dark side you need to understand. This city can cost you your money, your sanity, and for some, everything.
In this video, I'm going to be breaking down the reality of Pacia. The girls, the nightlife, the scams, and how some people don't make it out the same. Let's start with the biggest thing people get wrong about Patia, the girls. Cuz what guys think are going on and what is actually going on are two completely different things. Suddenly you're in Patia getting attention from girls you've never had before. Beautiful girls are pestering you to spend time with them. When maybe back at home, it was the other way around. These girls will lay it on thick. The constant messages wanting to spend time together all the time. The girlfriend experience, pretty much from day one. But you don't realize you're probably not the only one. I'll explain about my story on how I got tricked a little bit later in the video. But to understand how Patia really works, we need to hear it from the girls themselves. So here's a little interview with Ice.
I'm here with Ice who works on Soberal. She's going to give a little bit of input on some of the questions that I have, and let's see an insight from someone who is working here on SoCal. Have you ever had any guy fall in love with you quickly?
>> Yes, I do.
Why do you think guys get attached so quickly?
>> I think for the him country, them don't have somebody. Maybe them, them see me like a good girl or something like that, you know? In the party is have many, many sexy lady.
Do you think it's quite normal for many ladies in the bar to have multiple boyfriends?
>> Yeah, I think it's normal. Some people, the lady have the two boyfriend or three boyfriend.
Do you think these guys know they have many?
>> Maybe them can know, but but like them don't care because it's like girlfriend for the holiday.
I think many guys don't realize that the girl they're dating has another boyfriend.
>> Yeah, but but I don't know.
But it's quite normal in normal.
>> It's quite normal.
Thank you, Ice. Thank you.
I've spent hundreds of hours at these bars now, especially on my live stream. I can get away with a little bit more than I can on YouTube over on Kick. And Ice, that you've just seen, she has come from my live stream. So, she comes in there often along with other characters. Link is on my website in the pin comment or in the description.
So, Barirl Secrets number one, they have multiple boyfriends or sponsors. Key thing here is Ice not only confirmed it, but she said it's normal. The behavior around here with the girls is very normal to have multiple boyfriends. She did even say that some guys even know that the girl has multiple boyfriends, although the majority of them won't know. It's worrying how normal it's become, especially in Pacia. At the end of the day, some of these girls see it as just another stream of income. While you, on the other hand, think you found the one. Scary thing is, you likely won't even know what's going on. So just tread carefully with these girls in Pacia.
Number two is that they like Thai guys. They will tell you this constantly that they only like Thai and not like Thai guys. And I'm going to let you in on a secret that they will not tell you. Once the girls finish the bar work, around about 2:00 AM, they go one of three places. Continuing in the party in Walking Street. Go to eat with their friends at Mokar or some restaurant. Or number three, go to a bar host. But what is a bar host? A bar host is kind of like a secret style bar. Almost like a gent club, but more like the size of a club. And in this place, various Thai guys, good-looking Thai guys, often up to about 50 of them, line up on stage while the girls are the customers and the girls pick them to spend time with them. Just like a bar or a go-go. These places are open to the early hours of the morning. It's funny because a lot of the money that gets spent on these girls, more often than you think, it ends up in a Thai guy's pocket. It's funny how this place works.
Bar girl secrets number three. They talk about customers like you all the time. Think about it. These girls are at the bar for 10 hours a day, 6 to 7 days a week. Of those 10 hours, they might be with a customer for only about 3 to 4 hours. They have 6 hours of their day around their friends to talk about anything. Hot topic of conversation: you. I even recently saw a post on social media from one of the bar girls explaining about a customer they've just been with. And of course, it was all in Thai, and none of us really will understand. But I have Thai friends which translated it. And to be honest, I'm glad that the customer doesn't speak Thai. They get a little bit too descriptive. But it's best not to know at all. But just know that these girls, they talk.
Secret number four, these girls always have a stream of income. If you think you met a girl that looks amazing, is not currently working, and has money to support herself, you can bet she has a boyfriend, sponsors, or she's just taking a break from the bar scene. Let me give you a real-world example of how I narrowly escaped something like this. I met a girl and we went on a date. She was 10 out of 10 good-looking. I thought I'd struck lucky. I asked her, "What do you do for work?" She said, "I don't do anything right now." But I looked at her, you know, she's got her nails done, her hair was immaculate, she's got designer clothes on, she had nice jewelry. Didn't dig too much more for information. I moved on. We only had one date and that was it. Some months later, I found out she went back working at the GoGo. Luckily, I knew a few people at the GoGo and I asked them like, "Does she have like boyfriend or sponsors?" And they said, "Many." A narrow escape for me. I could have been boyfriend number five on the list. All like I say, if it sounds too good to be true, I can promise you that it is.
Now, just to emphasize, I know not all girls are the same. I'm not going to be painting all the girls with the same brush. At the end of the day, I have so much respect for these bar girls. They are often supporting their entire family back in their hometown with the job that they have, the job that they might not even like. The ones that scam and deceive though, not so much.
Now, I did mention earlier that I'll tell you the story of how I got tricked in a similar situation. The girl I was seeing wasn't a bar girl. She's never worked in a bar. She had a good, stable job earning more money than me. And this was magical. This was like the most closest I've been to someone in such a short period of time. There was promises of the future. We'd move in together. We'd maybe even start a business together. You know, the word love was being thrown around. It was just all so perfect until I found out that she had a husband and then later found out that she also had a boyfriend. Obviously, he was overseas. And me, I had no idea. Was this like a really good actress? Was it genuine connection? And she didn't know who to choose. I don't know. Everything felt so real. And to be honest, we was only seeing each other for 2 months. But this broke me. This was horrible because that's a reality in a city like this. Emotions and relationships are almost fast-tracked. You think you've moved to a beautiful country and then wow, you've met like someone who you genuinely connect with. Things just move a little bit quicker than they do back home.
So, what did I learn from this experience that I can hopefully grace you with some knowledge? My biggest tip would be slow things down. And this is not to say that everyone's a bad actor and you got to kind of like work people out, but it's just to say like we've got all the time in the world. If you've met the person who you think you're going to spend the rest of your life with or you'd like to, then slow down. Why the rush? If I'd have slowed things down, I think I would have got less hurt. To be honest, you never really know who you're dealing with, especially in a city like Patia. And then you got guys who come here to meet the one. But not everything is what it seems. The relationship changes, money gets involved, and then suddenly they're left out here alone, single, and potentially financially crippled. You start seeing unfortunate stories pop up, more than you'd expect, to the point where it's even been branded the name the Patia Flying Club. Behind the name is a much darker reality. And unfortunately, there was a story not too long ago of a man who took his own life. And on his bed, there was a singular note saying, "I'm leaving because I've run out of funds." Now, it's not for me or anyone to try and work out why he ran out of funds. But it's the reality of this city where at every angle, your money is at risk. Whether it is from the addiction to the nightlife, relationships or marriage going wrong, or general scams that happen. The more you know, the more you will protect yourself.
I just like to say if this topic hits close to home or you are struggling mentally and you're in somewhere like Thailand, like Patia, there is support lines you can call. I'll put the numbers on screen. Now, just know that you are not alone.
Now, I don't want to make this video sound all bad because it's not. But the key is to understand what to look for and what to avoid in this city. Green flag number one, she has a normal job. Bonus points if she enjoys it. If she has a job at like a restaurant or 7-Eleven, this is great. But I've even mentioned on previous videos that just because they have a normal job, it doesn't mean that they don't freelance after work. It is common, especially in a city like Patia. But this is why I say bonus points if she enjoys her job. If they're bored of their work or they dislike it, they're likely going to be looking elsewhere for other means of income. These workers at 7-Eleven, they'll earn a maximum of like 400 baht per day. At the bar, that could be commission for four drinks for some of the girls. Now, especially if the girl is good-looking because they see this city, they see other girls, good-looking girls making a lot of money. The thought has crossed their mind more than once. I can guarantee. But if they enjoy their job, they're more likely to stay. It's not a obviously for certain, but in my eyes, it's a green flag.
Green flag number two, consistency without asking for money. Meeting someone for the first time, spending time together, having meals together with no random emergencies coming up with, you know, money that's needed for family members or themselves. You know, we've all heard of the sick buffalo story. This kind of stuff, yes, it happens. But early in a relationship, it should not be happening whatsoever. But I have seen something I call the investment tactic happening early on in relationships where the girl will pay for food. They'll pay for drinks. They'll help you with bills with hopes that later down the line they'll spring on you emergencies which pop up which is going to be quite a hefty sum. But you'll have the false sense of security that this girl is different because hey, she pays her own way, you know, so hey, why why wouldn't I help her out? But a green flag certainly is if she doesn't ask for money or any kind of support early on in the relationship. If she does, then just be careful.
Green flag number three, she doesn't like to party or drink. The amount of times I've seen a Thai girl break up with their boyfriend or even so little as have an argument with their boyfriend that same night they are out partying with their girls and who knows what happens. Now, of course, this happens all over the world, but I feel like Thailand specifically, there is a lot of jealousy involved. It's almost like if they have an argument with their partner, they'll go out. They're not going out to like go and sleep with a guy or something, but they want to have some kind of ammunition to get their partner or ex-partner jealous. Whether that's posting on social media. I even asked my friend Smile about this as well.
>> Maybe you go out same night and you meet her, see another guy, maybe she just want you to sleep, thinking like I'm the bad now. I not have help you. I'm cool. But her inside is really bad.
>> Trying to make jealous.
>> Yeah. Like on social media, like maybe holding hands with a random guy.
>> Showing like I have new, I don't give a [ __ ]. I want them to see maybe sometime can see only one person.
>> Hide everyone, but only one person can see.
>> Only one person can see something like that. How a lot of people do that for.
>> So my point here is, yeah, of course, if she doesn't drink or go out, that's just a plus in itself. But she may not be one of these that's going for these jealousy type tactics if you ever have any kind of ruffles or argument in the relationship. Cuz if she did go out partying and drinking, you're in Padia. Just depends how much you trust her. You're really good.
Green flag number four, she understands your boundaries and time. Now, some of us might like a clingy girl, but too much is too much. Someone that understands that you have things to do during the day, doesn't constantly hound you, doesn't constantly ask who you're with. Thai girls are very, very jealous. So, if you find one that isn't and respects that your time is your time, I think that's a green flag in my eyes. Having a paranoid girl that's always asking where you're going, what you're doing, who you're with, that is mentally exhausting.
Now, let's jump into the scams to avoid in Patia. Now, I'm not going to cover this in detail cuz there has been loads of videos on this and even me, I've mentioned quite a lot of scams on my channel before. But now, quickfire, I'm just going to run through various scams that you might have heard before. But here's just a recap. If you are looking to barfind a lady, ask the mama san the price of the barfine, not the girl that you're with. They might try to charge you a little bit more. If you do barfind a girl, go to the places you want to go. Don't go where she wants to go as you could end up in her friend's bar and then suddenly you're buying drinks for her friend and you didn't even know about it. Your bill is getting quite large at a bar. Pay your bill and start a new one. You don't have to rack up a bill of four, five, 6,000 baht. The larger the bill, the easier it is for the cashier to disguise a few cheeky drinks on there that you never had. Now, this could be intentional. This could be a mistake from the cashier. We're all human at the end of the day. So to avoid all of that, if your bill's getting large, pay it. Get a new one. It's absolutely fine. Avoid Beach Road at night. When it comes to the freelancers, just don't risk it. And do not bring any of these freelancers back to your hotel. Ignore the comments of people saying, "Well, I've done it before and it was absolutely fine." They got lucky. You might not. It only takes one time for it to go wrong to lose your passport, your phone, your money, your belongings. It's just not worth it. Negotiate the price before anything has happened. Whether this comes from the girls, whether this comes to taxi journeys, pay before your journey has started or pay before any services have happened. That just saves you at the end of the experience or the journey. Then suddenly saying it's this much when you thought you agreed on an earlier price. Paying beforehand removes all of that confusion. Avoid all of the invitations you receive on Walking Street. While you're walking through, you're going to have people asking you to go ping pong shows. There's even a Muay Thai boxing match you can go and look at and take part in. I can assure you all of these are there to rinse money off you at every opportunity. Might be 200 baht to go and enter and see one of these shows. But upon leaving, you'll realize that there is a 1,000 baht fee added on top.
Now, there is one scam which I want to mention and it's the whole reason for this section is coming more and more common. I am on Beach Road right now. This scam primarily happens on Second Road. There is various people of I'm not sure where they're from, but they certainly are not Thai. They're looking for people who are either bald, have a lot of wrinkles, or just have like a receding hairline. They are trying to sell you some miracle formula. And this miracle formula in a bottle is meant to be some oil which will rejuvenate your skin and make your wrinkles go. And then when they buy this oil, they realize that this is just like sugar water or something. It's absolute rubbish. Now, for 20 baht, these things are actually not that bad.
Now, I consider myself quite disciplined when it comes to the girls, when it comes to going out and nights out. I used to be not so much, but now I've kind of learned the ropes a bit. The difficulty with living in Patia is the constant stimulation. Now, Patia is a city where you can get anything you want at any hour of any day. Everything is available. The problem with living in this type of environment with, you know, the girls, the nightlife, the flashing lights, the late nights, the allure and mystery of who you're going to bump into next, you're often, even if you don't do anything for that day, you're often feeling quite exhausted, like dopamine depleted. And this can lead to like the next day feeling low on energy, feeling bored because you've gone through such a massive dopamine high just from day-to-day life. And then the next day when you're not doing anything, it's like just insane boredom. And how do you cure that with a dopamine high? You go out once again, maybe to the bars, maybe go see the girls, and you hit that dopamine high again. And then suddenly you're in that loop. So, even if you're like me and you are desensitized to the nightlife, like I'll go to the bars and I'm not like, "Oh my god, I can't wait to see a new girl or I'm not not sure who I'm going to bump into next or it's going to be exciting." I'm just like, I'm just at the bar. But you can't help the psychological triggers that it gives you. This is why so many people come to Thailand, try to live here, end up failing because they get sucked into this dopamine cycle, and then end up broke and go home. Dopamine exhaustion is a thing and it's ever so relevant in Patia. If there's one tip that I can give you if you're going to live here, you aren't missing anything by skipping going on nights out with your friends. Patia is going nowhere. So have that night in and don't let dopamine control your life. Trust me.
So many of you watching this video may look at everything that I've said and say, you know what, I'll be fine in Patia. So, what I'm going to do is I'm going to detail who Patia is not for. So, be honest with yourself cuz if you do fall into one of these categories, then I'm just going to try and help you as much as I can. So, who is Patia not for? Number one, people who get attached easily. Now, for a lot of people, you're going to have to be really honest with yourself because a lot of people that get attached here easily is usually due to not getting a lot of attention back in your home country. Like regardless of dating, like do you even get any attention out in public? Because if you don't get hardly anything back home and then you come here and then suddenly you're hearing handsome men and really good-looking girls are wanting you to come and sit and have a drink with them, it can lead you to get attached very, very quickly, which is dangerous in this city and also addictive.
Number two, those who are chasing validation. Now, this can come off the back end of my previous point. So, let's say you come here and you're getting loads of attention from the girls. Even when you're out like shopping and you got girls staring at you, you might think to yourself, "Wow, like, you know, I kind of feel like a bit of a big shot." That can be addictive as well because now suddenly when you go out and you don't get that kind of attention, you crave it even more as if like you are craving the validation that you once had.
Number three, which is a big one, is someone who is running away from problems back home. Whether that's family, your job, or relationship issues. Many people suffer problems in these areas and then come to Thailand as some sort of like escape. If you're already not in the right mental state, Patia is just not for you because you're going to fall in like some kind of trap. Some girl is probably going to see your weakness and take advantage of that. And you being in a vulnerable situation, you're probably just going to go with it. Burying your head in the sand in Thailand might feel good, but eventually you've likely got to go back home. Or you'll be in such a vulnerable state that you'll just burn through your funds and then have to go home anyway and face the consequences just with less money and probably a little more sad. Usually people who are running away from problems back home usually have quite erratic behavior, make spontaneous decisions, and it never really ends out great. So if this is you, fix your problems before coming.
Number four, people without financial discipline. I mean, I don't really need to explain much about this point because I've said even before in this video that at every angle you turn in Patia, your money is at risk. You could be just generally a nice guy wanting to, you know, if someone comes up and asks for a drink, yeah, you give them a drink. If their friend wants a drink, oh yeah, whatever, I give you a drink. Suddenly that spending adds up and up and up because remember it's easy to spend money in a city so cheap. Possibilities are endless. So this city, you need financial discipline.
Number five. Now this is someone who is coming here to find a relationship. Patia is by far the least city in the whole of Thailand where you should be coming and finding a relationship. Even though you can ingrain this into your head as much as you can before you come, when you're here, your mindset may change. So, I'm just trying to make this kind of double triple sure that you're bulletproof enough that you can come here and resist the temptation because it is everywhere. It is the norm in this city to have multiple boyfriends. Please get that into your head before you come and think about getting a relationship here. Some people have got lucky, but that's the 1%, even less than 1%. Don't know about you, but I don't like those odds. And you shouldn't like it either.
Okay, so let's flip it. Who is Patia actually for? Those who have discipline. Now, we can all tell ourselves, "Yep, when I go to Patia, I'm only going to spend this much per week and I'm going to go to the gym." You can think of so many things you want to do when you're here in Patia. The main thing the discipline stems off is knowledge. So, binge content like I'm doing right here. Watch other YouTubers. There's so much advice out there that you can arm yourself with and then you pair that with experiences. It's having the knowledge is one thing, but putting them into practice is another. But if you want to live here long term, Patia certainly needs an aura of discipline.
Number two, Patia is for people with purpose. Now, Patia is a city which is famous for people coming here, getting a retirement visa, and just chilling out, living off their pension, and chilling out at the bars, making friends in a hot country. But if you're younger like myself, you have to move here with purpose. You can't just think, oh, I just want to work online and go live in like a seaside city, that to me is like not enough because Patia is a city which it will consume you unless you have absolute bulletproof discipline. You really have to question yourself why Patia? Me for example, I do YouTube, I do live streams and Patia is a draw for that. So this is my purpose. But three years ago, I was an online fitness coach and I moved to Patia when everything was going good. But I didn't need to move to Patia. It was just like an added benefit. There was no real purpose of me being here apart from I just wanted to be in a hot country. And then lo and behold, Patia consumed me a little bit and I fell into bad habits. So make sure you really have purpose before you choose Patia as your city.
Number three, Patia works for those who understand the game. The whole of Patia is just a game. Especially if you're indulging in like the nightlife side of things. It's a game. Everything's a transaction. Treat it as that. You don't have to play the game. Just understand it. When playing roulette or blackjack, most of us know that the house always wins and the house always has an advantage. Think of that the same as the bars. The girls are the house. They always have an advantage. Just arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can and enjoy the game for what it is.
Number four. Now, this is a big one and it's one which really, really works for me. But Patia works for those who are content with being on their own. Throughout all of my life, I've spent so much time on my own. I prefer games that you can play on your own. When I was doing college, I did all my kind of group projects. I'd actually like to do them on my own. I'm very much a loner. But just because you're a loner doesn't mean that you're lonely. So, if you're someone where you can happily take yourself to the cinema or for a shopping trip on your own with no care, Patia is probably better for you than you think. The reason why I say this is there's a lot of people who depend on someone. Whether they depend on a girlfriend to always have them with them, whether they always depend on doing things with friends or they want to go to the bars but they want to be with someone. This can actually bite you in the ass a little bit because when you think about it, if you always rely on the friends, then friends can kind of end up relying on you. And then all of a sudden you've got multiple people every night asking where are you, what you doing, do you want to go out and suddenly then your financial discipline is kind of on the rocks because now you don't want to let down your friends and you're out most nights of the week and suddenly you're spending double of what you thought you would in a month. So, if you're someone like me who doesn't mind getting by on their own, then Patia will probably be all right for you.
Patia isn't fake, but Patia will show you what you're really looking for. If you're looking for a distraction, you will find it. If you're looking for connection, you might feel like you've found it. But if you're not careful, you can lose yourself in the process. Now, if you're confident, you feel like you can protect yourself fully from the nightlife of Pacia, then think again because there's certainly some facts about the bar girls I've not included in this video because I've mentioned it on previous videos before, such as some of the girls not letting on that they actually know more English than they let on. But that's for a specific reason. And if you want to know the reason for that, you're going to have to click on this video here where I detail 19 interesting facts about the bar girls you might want to know before.