Transcription
For being a guest on Steven Bartlett's number one ranked podcast, >> Listen to me. Why is this so important and what does that mean? >> to last week's in a room with one of the richest people on the planet, Jensen Huang. >> We achieved a $4 trillion market value. >> I've spent hundreds of hours in rooms with billionaires, founders, and performers in the top 0.01%. And being around these people rewired my brain. My new way of thinking took me from being a college dropout to a multimillionaire. And here's what I've learned from meeting five of them, things that I either loved or completely hated. Because even if you despise these people or how they act, you can still steal their secrets for your own life.
Starting with Anastasia Soare, the top 1% hold their space, [music] no matter what room they're in. I was recently at an event where a sub portion of the event was highlighting books that speakers wrote. And one of the books they were highlighting was Anastasia Soare's book, which was unbelievable because that meant that she was going to be there to do an interview. >> I had so many wins and I had so many losses, but that's called business. >> Well, because this event was a sub event inside a massive conference, I don't think the planners really thought about the fact that they were putting a billionaire in a tiny room that had no more than 40 seats and wasn't very well publicized. So, I got to this room after having met Anastasia the night before, and there was only 15 people there. The crazy thing is that normally you don't get within 50 ft of these people. And now there were [music] 20 of us within 5 ft of each other. But here's the part that stuck with me. Despite the fact that this [music] didn't likely meet her expectations, she acted as if there were thousands of people in that room. She was completely unfazed. She didn't make it seem like this was in any way disappointing, like it was a waste of her time. She brought the exact same presence to 20 people that she would have brought to if thousands were there. And my takeaway was that this is her operating standard. If you have a standard, you do not let your environment shrink your standard. You always operate at that standard. But most people hype themselves up to match the level of the room that they're entering. If they're performing for a small audience, their level of effort plummets. Stepping out into a large stage, suddenly they bring everything that they've got. But the top 0.01%, they operate from their standards. They are constantly going further, faster, because their standard comes from within them, not from whatever is happening around them. And that means that they don't allow for their performance to be affected by anyone or anything outside of their control. So if you want to operate like that, stop waiting for the perfect moment to give your full effort. Stop saving your best self for the big room or the next big presentation at work. Show up the same way at dinner with eight people as you would with a podcast for 30 listeners, as you would with a meeting with your team where there's only three people there. Over time, you get used to holding a certain amount of space for yourself. And if you let it get small, it'll stay small.
Here's the next surprising thing you might not guess about the richest people out there. They aren't required to be. I was in an event recently with Jensen Huang. If you don't know him, he is the CEO of Nvidia, and he's currently worth $185 billion. That makes him the eighth richest person on the planet. >> We fundamentally changed computing, the way how computing is done. >> By every measure, this is a guy who has earned the right to be distant, distracted, and kind of all above it. And honestly, nobody would blame him. And yet, he was one of the warmest people I have ever met. He was present. He was thoughtful and kind in a way that didn't feel performative [music] at all. He really didn't have to be, but it was evident that that's who he chose to be, because [music] that's who he is. And meeting him broke the stereotype that I didn't even realize that I was carrying. [music] We've been told this idea that to make it to the top, you have to be cold, sharp-elbowed, and willing to walk over people. And as a woman, I sometimes feel like I have to make myself sharper to prove a point. But what I kept seeing in these rooms is that some of the most wealthy people on the planet are also some of the most kind and decent people. And sure, some of them are genuinely awful to be around, but the money had nothing to do with which one they ended up being. That is a personal call. The media pushes this idea that wealth buys you a license to be a jerk. We've all seen the social media millionaires who drive around in their fancy cars, who are rude to every person that helps them, including their family. But the top 0.01% have learned to leverage what the common person thinks is optional the richer they get, a kind character. It could be because their moms raised them well, but it also pays to be good to people. Deals come down to people. So, if you're chasing this kind of life, remember that you get to decide who you become along the way. You don't have to lose your warmth or your smile to grow your bank account. The two things are entirely disconnected, and there are real examples of people out there who are wildly successful and still good humans. So, pick the version of successful that you actually want to be, and then become that person.
The next mindset you can steal from the wealthy is the way that you handle the small things is exactly how you'll handle the big things. And most people compromise on both. I've been business partners with Grant Cardone since 2019, and I've watched him build a multi-billion-dollar real estate portfolio, sell out arenas, >> Their lifestyle does not change because of their earned income, it changes because of their investment income. >> and close deals on his terms that most people just wouldn't believe. But the moment that actually changed the way I think had nothing to do with any of that. It was at a Starbucks. Grant ordered a coffee, it came back wrong. And he sent it back. Most people in that situation would just drink [music] it. They tell themselves that it's not worth the hassle, it's just coffee. Don't be that person. Grant sent it back without thinking twice. And then he got it the second time, and it was still wrong. What do you think he did? He sent it back. [music] At first glance, this might seem ridiculous. It's coffee, who cares? But that moment stuck with me because I started watching him do the exact same thing in rooms where millions of dollars were on the table. The same energy, the same certainty, the same refusal to accept something that wasn't what he asked for. I've sat in meetings with Grant where partners were pushing terms where people across the table were trying to get him to bend and he just doesn't. Not because he's difficult, because he knows exactly what he wants. He's certain about what it needs to look like and he's not going to pretend that he's okay with something that he's not okay with. And here's what most people get wrong. They think that compromise is professionalism. They think that saying yes when they mean no is how you keep deals alive, how you keep relationships smooth, how you keep things moving. But that's what I've learned watching Grant is that every time you compromise on something you actually care about being you're training yourself not to trust your own opinion. The reason that Grant can walk into any room with that level of certainty isn't because he was born with it. It's because he's built it. Every time he's refused to accept less than what he wanted even on the small stuff, even on a coffee, he was reinforcing his own belief in his own standards. That's the part that people miss. Stop compromising on the things that actually matter to you just because you're afraid of being difficult. Stop [music] drinking the wrong coffee. Stop saying that's fine when it's not fine. Stop accepting terms that you don't want because you're worried the other person might walk away. Let them walk away. The strength to hold your own ground on a billion dollar deal doesn't show up out of nowhere. It gets built in every small moment where you either stand by what you want or you don't. And this can start with the little things like saying the thing that you think in the meeting, like not nodding along when you actually disagree because every time you hold the line on something small you build the muscle you need when the stakes are massive. And the people who win the biggest deals, close the hardest negotiations, and build things that everyone wishes they could, they're not compromising on any of it.
The next thing I'll teach you from the brains of the most successful people on the planet is probably the hardest skill to actually pull off. The world's top performers are also the best at saying no and they never feel bad about it. I put together a list of top podcast guests that I want to have within the next 12 months. And just a few weeks ago I was at an event where I was on my way to listen to this presentation and to my right I saw Brad Gerstner. And if you don't know who Brad Gerstner is, you should, because he is ridiculously smart. He runs Altimeter Capital, which manages billions of dollars, and was an early investor in companies like Snowflake and Grab. >> We're close to the end of what has been the most parabolic rate hike cycle in the last 50 years in this country. It's been hugely destabilizing to financial markets. >> He is on the forefront of talking about AI. So, when I walked past him, I thought, this is my shot. Instead of cold emailing him, I'm just going to introduce myself. So, he was talking to somebody, and I waited about 15 minutes for my window to talk to him. And when I finally got it, the conversation lasted maybe 90 seconds. He said something like, "Send me an email with the show details, and my team will look it over. We get a lot of pitches." That was it. Now, let's be clear. I will get him on the show eventually. That will happen, because I am completely [music] relentless. But, that's not the point. The point is this. He didn't feel a drop of guilt about saying no to me. He didn't soften it. He didn't apologize. He didn't pretend like he was going to make it happen. And honestly, it was the right call for him. He's running a massive fund. He's getting asked to do a podcast and appearances every single day. People pitch him constantly. And if he said yes to every person who waited 15 minutes for a conversation, he would get nothing done. So, his no is what protects everything that's made him successful in the first place. Most people I know can't even say no to bad things. Their friend asks them to go out to the club on Friday night, and they say yes, even though they feel exhausted. Family asks them to do something, and instead of doing the work that they wanted to do, they cave and just say yes. They've just never built that muscle of saying no. Meanwhile, people at the top realize that you have to start saying no to good things to build what you want. Things that look like opportunities. The kinds of things that most people would jump at. Because the top 0.01% live by this rule. If the ask doesn't fit the vision, saying yes is actually a cost. So, if you want to build something serious, you have to get so comfortable with actually disappointing people. Not in a rude way, just in a clear way. Start saying no to the plans that you don't actually want to be at. Saying no to the projects that don't move your life forward. Say no to the meetings and the favors that drain you. Every yes you give is a no to something else. And the most successful people in the world are extremely picky about where their yes goes.
And the last lesson is one I had to learn the hard way. Last year I was sitting across from Steven Bartlett on the set of his show, Diary of a CEO, which is one of the world's biggest podcast. >> I started the podcast because I believed in the medium of podcasting to communicate ideas and to tell stories and to connect with an audience. >> I walked out of that recording feeling incredible. There were moments of the conversation I genuinely loved, things I was proud [music] of, things I couldn't wait for the world to hear. But when the episode actually aired, it was edited. The parts that I cared about most got completely cut out in the final version. [music] And my realization was that's how every big media opportunity and podcast [music] in the world works. When you're the guest, you don't control the cut. And it hit me in that moment because I realized that I lost control of my own narrative. Someone else [music] had decided which version of me the audience would see, and I had zero say in it. The top 0.01%, they refuse to let anyone else write their story. Everyone says content is king, but that's only half true. Content is the asset, [music] distribution is the leverage. And if your distribution runs through someone else's filter, you don't actually own your asset. They do. So I decided to build my own podcast, my own audience, my own [music] edit, so that no matter what conversation I want to have, nobody can cut the part that I care about most. And if you're building anything, a business, [music] a brand, a career, and you want to operate at the highest level, you have to control your own narrative. Stop putting your voice in the hands of other people who want to change it and take control of your story. You have to start creating your platform where no one else can ever filter you. Because when you build the thing, you control it. A newsletter, an email list, a podcast, a direct relationship with the people that you care about. It doesn't have [music] to be massive, it just has to be yours. Because every other lesson I share in this video doesn't matter if someone else gets his side, the version of you the world actually sees. [music] If you want more on how the wealthiest people actually think, I have a full video breaking down the money rules I've picked up over the years. I'll link it right here. Go check it out.