Transcription
As someone who has gone from being lukewarm in her faith, wearing the most immodest outfits that were so revealing, and looking back, I'm like, "What were you thinking?" to someone who now wears clothes that are modest, fashionable, and giving "woman of God" energy, God has shown me that it is possible to dress modest but still look cute in this day and age.
When I first became a Christian a couple years back, I believed the lie that I couldn't look cute anymore and dress in a way that would still be attractive. I had to get rid of my crop tops, my short shorts, my bar clothes. I didn't have a good association with the word modesty. I thought that modesty ultimately looks like frumpy, but looking back on that old mindset, I realized now that couldn't be farther from the truth.
Also, as I was dressing this way, I was realizing that I wasn't attracting the right type of man, and the clothes that I was wearing was not giving off the message that I was a woman of God, but rather a woman in the world. I had to realize that I could dress in a way that was modest and elegant and still be attractive. And thankfully, I realized that modesty is totally having a moment right now. People like Sophia Richie, Haley Bieber, all these celebrities are bringing this old money aesthetic that is really great for modest looks.
Now, after years of practice, I am someone who wears modest and elegant outfits that I feel Jesus would be proud of, and they are still fashionable in this day and age and help me walk as a woman of God, representing my heavenly Father well. So today, I'm going to share with you my tips on how to dress like a Proverbs 31 Woman, so you can please your Father in Heaven and become the woman of God He created you to be.
If you're new here, hello, welcome back to my channel. I'm Ashley. I have a faith-based series here on YouTube called The Holy Girl Diaries, where I encourage you to grow closer to God and become the best version of yourself in Him. I want to just preface and give a disclaimer that I am not claiming to do modesty perfectly. I am still on a journey of figuring out how to dress modest but also chic in this state age. And so, there are days where I'm not perfect at this, but I just want to assure you that we are all in this journey together of learning how to walk as children of God, and these are just some things that have worked for me that hopefully can apply to you. So make sure you subscribe so you can join the fam.
Without further ado, let's talk about who the Proverbs 31 Woman really is. She is the Bible's representation of a woman of God. If you physically go to the scripture, Proverbs 31, you will read all about the woman who fears the Lord. We see in Scripture that she wakes up early, she is strong, she is a hard worker, she is wise, she is disciplined, she fears the Lord, she is a homemaker and homegirl. Also wears fine linens. It says in Proverbs 31:22, "She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple." The Bible did not have to include what this woman would wear in this scripture. If we just saw all the other qualities about her, we would know who this woman was, but it also showed how she carried herself and how she represented herself to the world. It's so beautiful to know that the Bible doesn't just describe who this woman is on the inside, but also how she is on the outside.
I don't know about y'all, but when I read about the Proverbs 31 Woman, I realize that this is the type of woman that I want to be. She was a baddie, and together we're going to learn about how she would show up to the world and the way that she would dress.
Let's start off with what the P31 Woman would not wear. The Proverbs 31 Woman would not wear clothes that were super revealing. It says, "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." Dignity means the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect. Other ways to describe this is royalness, formality, honorability, integrity, nobleness, majesty. Do you associate those words with really short shorts and crop tops? No, the two do not go together. She wouldn't wear clothes to draw attention to herself and to her body. Homie girl would dress with class, elegance, and grace. She would show up with poise and be the royalty that she is.
And that brings me to my next point, which is shift your identity. A lot of the times, we want to change our habits and the behaviors that we do on a given basis, which is called behavior modification, but we rarely want to shift the identity that we have about ourselves that causes us to do those things. If I believe that my worth is in how my body is, then it is going to be very, very hard for me to shift to modest clothing because it's like my identity is in, "I cannot be beautiful unless I'm showing my body." And I just want to be the first to say that I had years with this mentality, you guys. I was noticing that when I would wear certain clothes, I would get more attention at school, and so I would wear that type of clothing to get, like, the upperclassmen to look at me, right? And I noticed, like, if I wasn't, maybe they weren't looking at me as much. So I had this, like, identity in my younger years of, like, "I'm only needed or worthy if I'm wearing certain types of revealing clothing." So when I became a Christian and I'm like, "Told that I need to be modest," I'm like, "Oh, so does that mean I don't have worth? Does that mean that I'm not beautiful anymore? Does that mean I'm not even going to, like, have a guy ever look at me again?"
And I had to shift my identity of, "No, I am beautiful, not because of what my body looks like, but because I am a woman who fears the Lord." And it says that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. God tells me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God tells me that I am altogether beautiful. There is no flaw in me. My Father, the Creator of the universe, created me and knit me together. I am beautiful just the way He created me, and I don't need to flaunt my body to be beautiful.
The Bible talks about us being Sons and Daughters of the Most High. And Psalm 82:6 says, "I said, 'You are gods, and all of you are children of the Most High.'" And in 2 Corinthians 6:18, it says, "And I will be a father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." So God is saying that He's literally our Dad, and He is the King of the universe, which means if we are His daughters, we are royalty. It means when I enter the kingdom of Heaven, I'm a princess, and I have strengths and abilities to be used in God's kingdom.
When we look at Kate Middleton, you do not see her wearing short shorts, tight tops, crop tops. No, Kate shows up like a queen. Her outfits are always iconic, full of class and elegance, and she makes her country look good. When I realized that my identity was not rooted in what my body looked like to men, but more so in that I am a child of God, this identity helped me dress differently. Just like Kate, when she became a princess, she's like, "Okay, I need to dress like a princess now." She upped her game because she knew her worth. So if God is calling us to royalty, let's dress like royalty. And after I had that mindset shift, I started to dress with class and grace because I realized I was representing the Most High King.
Tip number three: Purge your closet. What I had to do when I made this commitment to fully following Jesus, not being lukewarm, and really living in my identity in Him, I had to get rid of a lot of things in my life, and that includes clothes. I went through my closet and I went through different pieces of clothing that I knew Jesus wouldn't want me wearing. I actually kept a lot of my college clothes, like my going out to the bars clothes, in my post-grad years, and I kept them in a little bin. Whenever I would go out, and when I like, got serious about my faith, I'm like, "I don't need this bin anymore. I don't need these dresses and these tops that, like, accentuate these parts of my body." So I had to give these clothes away, and I had to believe that God was going to give me favor with the right man without me having to show my body.
I also went through a time where I just was deleting photos, I was archiving photos that were showing my body on social media because I realized I wasn't attracting the right attention, and if a man of God, he ain't going to be attracted to that. He's looking for his queen, so I'm going to dress like one.
Now, we're going to get into basic essentials for dressing modestly. Master a cardigan. Y'all, a cardigan is a whole moment, and it's a way to cover your arms and also just present yourself to the world in such a classy way. I think it is so cute to wear a cardigan over a dress or even to have, like, a cardigan set, like the tank top and the cardigan are the same color, and it's just so cute to wear with a good pair of jeans.
Okay, don't sleep on pants. Have fun with pants. Pants are fun. There's a lot of different variations of pants. We don't always need to be showing our legs. I love Adidas track pants. I think they're so cute, and I love working out in these pants, like a tighter fitting workout top that's high neck with, like, a baggier track pant, like an Adidas pant or even, like, a sweatpant is such a good look for the gym. Or you can wear trousers, gray trousers, black trousers. Pants are so fun, and you can do so much with them.
Learn the French tuck. When I used to think about modesty, I would think about just, like, a literal trash bag over you and just the most frumpy looking outfit with no accentuation of your body. God gave you a body. You can wear clothing that is flattering without having it be revealing. So, for example, a French tuck is really great because you're able to put a sweater or a top in your jeans or your skirt, and it accentuates your waist. It shows that you have a waist, which is okay. You can show that you have a waist. I think in Christian circles, to be modest, think that we have to, like, cover up our body, but the key is to wear clothing that just is really, really good for your body type. We want to not go for tight clothing, but flattering clothing.
Quality over quantity. Something that I've done over the years is I've invested in high-quality pieces that will last so much longer than a quick trend. I go back to Kate, y'all. Kate is not wearing a ton of trends. Princess Kate, she is wearing classic fits that are very, very timeless, and modesty is timeless. A lot of these modest outfits are going to be in, like, 50 years from now. It is better to have a few high-quality pieces than to constantly go online shopping and get the latest trend, barely spend any money for it, but then it's just like taking up space in your closet. And often times, I find that the really trendy pieces can be very immodest.
I love how in Proverbs 31:22, it says, "She makes bed coverings for herself; and her clothing is fine linen and purple." So why does the Bible mention purple? In biblical times, purple dyes were originally made by drying secretions from a sea snail. This made them extremely expensive, so purple was associated with royalty and great prestige. Again, we're getting this royal theme here. So this means if P31 was around nowadays, she probably would not be shopping at really cheap online stores. That's just the truth.
Now, I understand if you're like, "Well, Ashley, I don't have a very big budget to invest in high-quality pieces right now," and I totally understand that. I would recommend going to stores like H&M or Zara or other stores that have modest pieces that you can get at a good price.
You can never go wrong with a dress, guys. Dresses are the epitome of femininity. And speaking for myself, I don't think that I wear dresses enough. There was a time a couple years back where street style was all the rage, boxy looks, really baggy pants, really baggy tees. But in recent years, what has come back is femininity, and big celebrities are also taking part in this trend of embracing your femininity. I think also looking at what men are attracted to. If you are a man watching this, please second me in the comments. I have heard from my guy friends and also from my brother, men are attracted to when women embrace their femininity. So it might not be your personal style, but there's a lot of different dresses out there that you can have fun with.
Where I love to shop for my dresses is I go on Nuuly. And this is totally not sponsored. I just love Nuuly so much. Nuuly is owned by the same company that owns Free People, Anthro, and Urban. They will post their new arrivals on all those stores, and you can order six pieces at a time for the price of one. The only caveat is you have to return all the six pieces back unless you want to buy that piece at a discount. But I love doing Nuuly because I'm able to get dresses and cute things, and then the next month I can just get another six items. I'm not, like, creating all this clutter in my closet.
Okay, let's just take a moment to talk about the gym. What do you wear to the gym if you're a woman of God? I even was there this morning, and basically every single girl there is wearing, like, nothing. And I'll also be the first to admit that this is a personal journey that I've had to go through because I love the gym, and a lot of the athleisure websites that I love to shop at don't have a lot of modest options. But I've also been someone who's worn something to the gym and I felt in my spirit like I shouldn't be wearing it. So I am on a personal journey of learning to dress more modestly at the gym, but also so dress cute and wear material and wear clothing that's not going to feel super restrictive.
So here are some ways that I've seen dressing at the gym done well, and then here are some ways that I'm also learning to dress modestly at the gym. One, I mentioned this earlier, but baggy sweats in a tighter fitting top, like this Adidas tracksuit look is so cute, and it's giving 90s, and I'm like obsessed with it. Baggier shorts are really in right now with, like, maybe you get, like, a high neck tank top. I love these red Adidas shorts. I think they're so cute. I need to get a pair of maybe. And also wearing, like, long tank tops with leggings, and the tank tops cover your bum.
Now, I will say that when I'm in, like, a Pilates class with all women, I don't feel as convicted with what I'm wearing because I'm with all these girls. But when I'm at the gym and there's all these guys around, to me, they might be struggling with lust, or maybe they are fully in lust. It is probably not a good idea for me to be wearing, like, a super tight workout set to the gym where I'm working out right in front of that guy. I'm on a personal journey of finding cuter workout outfits, and I will be helping you guys as I'm on this journey. And maybe one day I could create workout apparel for you guys. Can I just mention that here? Like, what if one day I can create workout wear that's actually modest but also cute? I don't know. There could be something there.
Modesty is a journey. Listen, I'm going to be the first to say on this video that I am not perfect at modesty, and I am also learning how to dress modestly in this day and age. You're not going to get it perfect all the time. This isn't about being super religious, but I want you to ask the Holy Spirit to convict you about the things that you're wearing. I want you to be praying and asking the Lord, "God, would You help me to dress as a woman of God? And would You convict me if I am ever dressing in a way that is immodest?" The Holy Spirit is going to show you. The Holy Spirit has often led me to delete videos. He's led me to wear a sweatshirt at the gym when I wasn't previously.
And also pay attention to when you feel uncomfortable. Like, if you are walking out the door and you feel really uncomfortable, maybe a shirt is really tight, maybe there's pants that are really tight, you feel like out of place, you don't feel confident. Pay attention to that. And also, just because you look good in it doesn't mean you should wear it. I'll sometimes wear a workout set and I'm like, "I look good," but just because I look good does not mean I should be wearing that for the entire world to see.
I think, y'all, it is a total flex as a woman of God, as a total to save that to save your body for your man, for your husband. Let your husband be the one guy who sees that because not everyone is worthy of seeing you. You are a part of His royal family, like you can carry yourself like that. So ask God to help you dress modestly, and you will sense the direction of the Holy Spirit and how to dress more modestly.
Modesty isn't about what you wear. It is about how you carry yourself. Are you wearing something to get attention from guys? Or are you wearing something because you know it is going to make your Heavenly Father in Heaven look good? And are you focusing on the inner beauty that comes from a heart that loves God?
1 Peter 3:3 says, "Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." It also says at the end of Proverbs 31, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." When we fall in love with God, people start to see God in us, and ultimately, above any clothing you wear, above anything that you do to your hair, like that is what is going to attract people to you. That is what's going to attract your godly man to you is your heart. It won't be you showing off your body. It will be your heart for God that will draw a godly man's attention.
And just because your heart is the most beautiful thing about you when you love God, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't ever pay attention to what you wear. Like, obviously, we have to wear clothes. We can't just walk around naked. It isn't Adam and Eve time, okay? But what we can realize is that when we are wearing clothing that is modest, that is classy, that is elegant, that is giving royalty, we are glorifying God and representing our Heavenly Father well.
So I think now would be a really good time for us to go shopping. I'm going to take you with me to the mall, and we're just going to go look at some pieces. We're going to go try on some things. We're going to actually put these tips into practice and learn how to dress as a woman of God.
[Music]
Okay, hey guys. This is a whole mood for the gym, and we just have to wear a matching red shorts, which they don't really have. Can't find them. There's no [Music] shorts. This is a little, a little low cut, so this is probably what we would not go for. Yeah, so no, unless you wore a tank top, I guess, but then that kind of ruins the whole look unless you wear a tank top underneath or a turtleneck. Ashley is in her tank top core, though. Let me know if you know the reference. Yeah, it's not getting modest unless you wear a tank top underneath or like a turtleneck.
Oh, is that if it looks like lingerie and you're not alone with your husband in the bedroom, it's probably not appropriate. I literally feel like Miss Honey in this, but look how cute this sweater is. It's so modest, and then I love these jeans. Like, I like that these jeans are fitted, but they also, you know, are not, like, revealing.
Okay, another example of a modest top. Um, I really, really like this, especially with this color jean. And my tummy is showing a little bit here, so, um, I think if you just make sure that it's brought down, it will not show your tummy. This top is so flattering. Again, I love that it has this little cutout at the bottom. I think that, like, kind of accentuates your waist very well. I love that it's just, like, high neck and has these buttons.
Pants are so cute. Look how flattering, and it's kind of giving, like, business chic. I think you could wear trousers to school and literally slay the day. Here is a cute dress. It's very big. You can imagine if this was just a little bit more cinched in. This is giving Princess Kate. This is really, really cute.
All right, guys, now I'm going to show you a little workout outfit that would be perfect for the gym. So I like that these shorts are definitely not, like, hugging my bum. They could definitely be longer. I think that's why I love the Adidas shorts so much. They have options that are longer. And then I like that this top is high neck as well. It's very lightweight, which is great. Overall, this is a great little workout outfit that's just not the look we're going for. This is feminine. Femininity energy that I was talking about. Look at how feminine and sweet and girly. Like, this is the epitome of [Applause] [Music]
Early. I hope this video helped you guys on your journey of becoming a woman of God through wearing modest but fashionable outfits. And if you are on your journey of becoming a woman of God, please comment "Modesty is the best policy" in the comments below so I can see who made it to this point in the video and so I can see who the real ones are. And if you are struggling with not having good Christian community, maybe you feel super alone in your walk with God, I have a group of girls to hold you accountable in my online community, The Tree. We do weekly group calls, as well as a Bible study plan for you to go through every single day, so you never have to wonder what to read. We are starting a Bible in a year plan very soon, so make sure you join if you haven't already. The link to join will be in the description below. And if you want more content to help you grow closer to God and reach your full potential in Him, you can follow me on my Instagram at AshleyHetherington. I love y'all so much, and just remember, Jesus loves you more. [Music]