Transcription
At no time in history has it been less popular to be a man. And as men, we sense this. We're not completely idiots. We recognize that a lot of people don't like us. A lot of women don't like us. In polls, you hear about it all the time where more and more women are having a negative light of men. And so we men, we're trying not to offend, you know, we're trying to be good guys. We're trying to not piss anybody off. And so we spend our entire lives apologizing for being a man. Everywhere we go, we're trying not to piss someone off. Today I want to talk to you about what it means to be a man today and why we just need to stop apologizing for being ourselves. This is life 2.0. Let's talk about it.
Women hate it when men quote facts that are scientifically backed up. And these scientists weren't all men. They were women involved as well. Women score very highly on a measurement of a characteristic called neurosis. Neurosis is basically a fear-based characteristic that involves a lot of worry and tentiveness and just general insecurity. We all see it. We can identify it when we see it. We know what neurosis looks like. What's ironic here over the last 40 or 50 years, women have been trying to become more and more masculine, are taking on more masculine roles despite the fact that they hate masculine men while at the same time men are becoming more and more neurotic. Yeah, not all men, but there's a segment of the male population that has become less and less confident in their own masculinity.
Now these men frequently are men who have dedicated their lives to having a woman as the center of it. So if a man makes this decision that he is going to um make the his life purpose about having a woman and revolving around it revolving around a woman there's a very good chance that he is going to find himself in a place where he becomes more and more insecure more tentative more um worrisome and at his core just a little bit more afraid because at every single turn he is vulnerable. to being criticized or condemned by the woman that he's building his life around. Yeah. You can see how twisted and sick all this gets. And what's interesting is that when that finally happens, because inevitably the way women behave at their core, because they are at their core scoring very highly on a neurotic level, is that when a man becomes more feminized, when he becomes more neurotic, it actually makes her even more neurotic. she becomes more afraid, more tentative, more insecure. And so in order to feel more safe in her world, she will push that neurotic man away. Yes, you men who are going down this path of building your life around women are creating the circumstances for your own demise, and you don't even realize it. You think you're warming yourself up to these women, like you're you're creating space for them, like you're being um I don't know, you're being inviting. You're trying to be welcoming to them. You're trying to accommodate them. But at the at its core, your behavior in your um being more feminine in your nature and trying to be more welcoming and open to their behaviors and understanding them is that you yourself are becoming more feminine. And when you do that, your neurosis levels start to go up. And as your neurosis levels go up, her neurosis levels go even higher. Yes. cuz she builds on it. Because now you're supposed to be the one who is confident and and secure and is her rock and her foundation, which is really at her core at a very deep and primal level is what she needs in a relationship with a man. Well, if you're not giving her that, then you're going to make her even more neurotic. And that's why she's going to leave you because you have literally made her more afraid. Yes, there's the irony.
So these women are walking around saying they don't like masculine men because really they think that or they're portraying masculine men as being scary. These masculine men make them feel less secure. They make them feel um like they are diminished in some way which is not true. I mean it's a mythology that they've created in their heads about what masculinity is and they have labeled it all these really positive strong male characteristics and they have conflated them with these negative pathologies that are just rare in you know masculinity and they would argue that they're not masculine at all. They're just criminal behavior you know. So they have conflated masculinity with criminal behavior. And so they are acting like they're afraid of men who portray any level of masculinity which drives their neurotic levels up, their neurosis levels up. And then men in response to that are trying to win the favor of a woman because we're all driven sexually to be with women. And we have this biological drive to procreate. And we have this need and desire to want to have families. And we think our lives will be more complete and whole if we can have a family. And so we set aside a lot of our masculinity. We apologize for it. We subdue it. We push it down. We try to get it out of the way. We want to be the good guy. We want to be the guy that all the girls like. We want to be the guy that all the girls like. That we're a safe guy. And we think that by being a safe guy, by being the guy that all the girls like, that we're going to somehow come out ahead in this equation. And the truth of the matter is it's exactly the opposite of that. Because the more safe you become on the surface, what you think is safe in reality at our primal level from her perspective in particular, and when I say primal, I mean primary. This is something that's baked in. This is wiring. This is not something that's a aftermarket thing where she picked it up along the way. No, this is something that was factoryinstalled primal. She at her primal level needs to feel safe. And a guy that's appearing to be safe by setting aside all of his masculine characteristics is not going to make her feel safe. What that guy is going to do is he's going to make her feel afraid. And her neurosis is going through the roof. And when her neurosis goes up, you go out out the door.
Before we move on to the next part, there's another aspect of masculinity that we need to at least bring out into the open. And that is being a man means looking the part. And if your pants are drooping down around your butt and every time you bend over, you're giving the world a view that they weren't anticipating. That's not healthy masculinity. Okay? So, what I recommend, what I recommend is you need to dress appropriately. You need to look good and you need something that's functional. And the problem with belts these days is that a lot of them get torn up and the holes get ripped out and next thing you know, your pants aren't staying up anymore. That's why I am proud to be sponsored today by Ansom Belt. Anom Belt has been around for a very long time and they have built some of the best belts that you can buy on the market today. They have this unique technology built into their belt that allows you to adjust it at quarterinch intervals. I bought one, like I said, about 6 months ago and I have not taken it off. I mean, I I take it off when I'm sleeping, but during the day if I'm wearing jeans, anything with belt loops, that belt goes on because it adjusts perfectly. It doesn't matter if you just ate a huge meal and you need to loosen things up or if you um you know you're feeling really fit and you want to tighten things down. If you want to look slim and trim or you need a little extra space to breathe, Ansom belts is the way to go because you're not going to get these 1 in intervals. You got these little quarterinch intervals. Makes a huge difference. I've been wearing my Anson belt. I don't if I can get this on the camera here. This is my favorite Anson belt. It's black. It's got like this canvasy kind of feel to it. It has a silver buckle. I think it looks great. It feels good. Anson is a family-run company that's been around since 2009. They have more than 40,000 five-star um reviews on their website. They make quality products and they do it at a good price. I strongly suggest you give this a try. If you use my link in the description, you're going to get um three belts and three buckles as a package deal for about a third off. That's one belt and one buckle um for free. And the great thing about these things is you can mix and match them. So you don't have to you're not you're not just getting three belts, you're really getting nine belts because you can mix and match these things for just about any occasion that you can think of. This is an excellent product. I strongly suggest it. I wear it myself every day. I um would not endorse this product so strongly if I didn't believe in it. So please give Ants and Belts a shot. They're a good company, an American company, and we need companies like this to survive and thrive. So let's support them. What do you say? Get an ants and belt.
Growing up back in the 70s and 80s, what it meant to be a boy, to be male was very natural and normal and healthy. And we did things that by today's standards would be considered, I don't know, crazy, pathological, maybe toxic. Certainly by the feminine world that we're living in today, my behaviors as a little boy would probably be considered toxic because I was competitive. Yeah. I wanted to compete with other boys, compete with other girls, compete with anybody because it was fun to compete. You know, we'd play ball in the street. We'd go outside and we would play ball. Now, we weren't being like cutthroat like we weren't trying to kill each other. This wasn't the Super Bowl, but we would compete. It was fun. And it was it made us better. It made us better athletes. It made us healthier. It made us more um team oriented. The competitiveness wasn't just about beating the other team. It was about becoming a better person. And that's a core masculine characteristic. And it is not pathological. It is not toxic. It is what makes human beings successful. You got to have competitiveness. Charles Darwin, you know, the the origin of species and evolution. Yeah, it's a survival of the fittest, but that gets kind of confused. It's like the survival of the best adapted, you know, those who can adapt the best. And competition helps us adapt. So please ladies set aside all your vindictiveness for men competitive competing. It's just healthy normal human behavior. It's not toxic.
Directness. Yes, men can be very direct and women think that directness is some other toxic behavior. They call it intensivity or something like that. I don't know. But we don't around when we know exactly what the point of the conversation needs to be or what we know needs to get done. We could don't need to have a committee to make a decision. We don't need to get consensus from all the other people in the room. Now, I understand that females are different. I understand that women look for that consensus. Men, when we see a clear path to a goal or an outcome that we need or desire, we will just state that like let's just do that rather than have a me a meeting about it. Um it's the shortest distance between two points. And this is the way rational thinking works. Men rely heavily on the rational side of our mind. Women rely um heavily on the emotional side of their mind. There is a balance there. And I laugh about the differences between us, but it's critical that we honor that difference. That men and their directness are critical at times to get things done. Now, there are times when we need to have consensus. There are times when having a committee makes sense, but a lot of the times directness is the way to get things done. It's not toxic. It's not evil. We're not trying to bully anybody. We're just trying to accomplish a goal and communicate a thought in a way that is easily understood. It's as simple as that. So, please stop calling directness a toxic behavior because it's not.
Risk tolerance and risky behavior. Women like to point to that as men showboating or doing something unnecessarily risky in order to prove their masculinity. Nothing could be further from the truth. Now maybe there's an aspect of that within a lot of risk risky behavior, risk-taking. But nothing in human history that involved us becoming better happened without somebody taking a risk. You think about when they discovered the new world. You know, somebody got into a ship and just started sailing west in the hopes that he didn't fall off the edge. You know, like back then they thought the whole thing was flat. So, he's going to get into a ship and he's going to fly. He's going to sail out into the huge ass ocean in this little dinky wooden ship with a bunch of guys that really might want to kill him if they run out of food. And he's going to discover a new world. I mean really without that kind of thinking, without that kind of risk-taking, without that kind of um desire to see what's out there, you think about our astronauts and anyone who's willing to go to the places that are undiscovered. That is the curiosity and the need to understand and learn and discover. That is core to humanity. It's core to humanity. It is not a toxic male behavior. It's what makes us great. Please, ladies, give it a break.
All right, let's take the big one. Let's talk about anger. This is the one where women really lose their That male anger is toxic. Male anger is no more toxic than female anger. Anger is an emotion. It's something that occurs naturally within people. It's delivering information. It's a delivery system for a message. Now, being physically abusive and beating on people, that's toxic. No question about it. But a man becoming angry and maybe even raising his voice as he does is not toxic behavior because women do that all the time. Women do that all the time. All the time. Women scream. They get shrill. They get angry. And they lose their composure. And they will yell and scream and even become violent. And no one no one thinks that their behavior is toxic even though it truly is. I mean start beating on people that's toxic. Doesn't matter whether the men are doing or women are doing it's toxic. But anger is not a toxic emotion. Anger is a natural healthy expression of a thought, a feeling, an an understanding of what's happening, a frustration, whatever it may be. But it's not toxic. And the more we try to repress anger, the more you create problems. You know, when people have the freedom to express their anger in healthy ways, well, it they vent their spleen. They get it out there. They're not repressing it. You don't want to see someone snap. You know, somebody get a rifle and climb up on a roof. Yeah. Tell them their anger is toxic and they can't express it naturally. Yeah. You got to you got to back off of this stuff, man. You're making everything worse.
I swear to God, you guys are just making it worse. I know you think you're trying to create a better, more balanced society. You think you're trying to create a world where everyone can be accepted and feel good about themselves, but really all you're doing is you're creating a world that is almost like a totalitarian kind of thing. You've gone so far to the left with your ideology and your idea that um you know this all-inclusive behavior needs to be applied to anything and everything and that everything needs to be um neutralized. It's like we can't have differences within genders and we can't have differences between peoples or belief systems. We got to act like everyone is exactly the same. And the truth of the matter is we're not. We're just not the same. I think the critical thing that women do not understand about masculinity is that it is not about dominating. Masculine characteristics are a pathway for men to provide service to the larger group. And I know you guys think, "Oh, you're rolling your eyes." But no, really, you got to hear me out here. So, go back to hunter gatherer days. protecting and providing was core to the survival of the community and men's physical strength and their eyesight, their eye hand coordination, their um ability to, you know, project where an object is going to be in time and space at some point in the future and intersect with that time and space with a projectile that will potentially kill an animal. That's something that is been developed and is we are the only primates that can do that. We are the only um I mean women on occasion can do that but men can do that consistently. Men can consistently do that. Even as a kid I could throw a Nerf football you know 30 yards and hit my friend Joey you know for a touchdown while he's running full blast. There's very few women that can do that and I was doing that when I was 10 years old. So being a man and these masculine characteristics like the the need the desire to protect and provide the need and desire to provide leadership these are things that we do for the larger community. These are things that we uh these are the gifts that we offer. This is what we have to offer. And to label these gifts that we're offering as toxic or m or in some way destructive is not seeing and understanding what it means to be a man. I think you guys have created this concept, this um stereotype of what men are and you have tried to squeeze us all into it and it's just not valid. The vast majority of men experience empathy and compassion and the need to help when help is needed. The uh desire to to lend a helping hand, you know, to um protect, to to help the weak, you know, to um dispatch the evil, you know, this is something that is just who we are. Like we want to stand up for you. We want to protect you. We want to provide for you. We want to be there to make sure that you're safe. This is what we have is primal. This is primal for us. So when you try to marginalize us because of these behaviors, it creates a push back where men, it's not just about feeling offended. It's much deeper than that. It's a um a sense of being alienated, of being removed from the ability to contribute. I'm sorry. I think I swallowed a knat. Yeah, it was a nat. I can taste them coming back up. Anyway, yeah, you've marginalized us. You've pushed us out of the group. you're telling us that we're what we have to offer, what we have of value, what comes naturally to us is um is not good. It's not healthy. It's not contributing. It's not making a difference.
The reason why women are neurotic, the reason why they score high on neurosis is because women raise children. That's how this characteristic has developed within them. This is not something that is recent, you know, and I think it gets worse with some of the recent comp, you know, behaviors and things in our in our environment, but women need to watch out for children. So, they need to be worrying about them all the time. They needed to have a high level of fear and concern about where they were and what was happening. They needed to make sure that child survived. That was their mission. Um so their tentiveness and their insecurity and their um inability to uh you know express themselves um you know with anger um and their fear of almost everything was acutely developed so that they could preserve themselves but also preserve their offspring. Neurosis is a useful um characteristic when applied in the right circumstances. But when it's taken out of those circumstances, applied more broadly and you start looking around and declaring that men are to be afraid of and masculinity is something that is to be afraid of. Well, now it's being misused. Now it's no longer a benefit. You're not helping anybody with your neurosis. You're destroying things with it. And um we men, we just need to stop listening to it. We need to stop allowing ourselves to fall into these traps. We need to stop seeing um women neuros women's neurosis as something that we need to adapt into our approach to women. We need to account for it because that's completely the wrong approach. Um being a masculine man means owning your masculinity and being proud of your masculinity. Now again, you're not trying to dominate anybody. No, this isn't about domination at all. This is about making contributions. This is about being of service. This is about providing leadership. This is about filling the void, stepping into the gap and being that force of good that needs to be there in order to protect and provide and to provide a service to the community at large. That's what masculinity is.
I was very fortunate to be born in 1965. That puts me right on the the beginning of Gen X and at the end of the baby boomers. What is fortunate about that is it gave me the opportunity to see men from the World War II generation and even the World War I generation. My grandfather at age 16 in Scotland joined the army and went and fought in France where he was shot and gassed. Getting the opportunity to know these men, to see them firsthand, to understand the way they think and the way they behave, and to see their masculinity up close and personal, I can tell you there's nothing toxic about these guys. There's nothing toxic about them. These men were loving, devoted, caring human beings who expressed enormous amounts of courage and um self-sacrifice on behalf of the guys that were next to them in the foxholes, but also on behalf of their countries and on behalf of all those people who are at home, all those women who are at home. Now, I'm not trying to say that you women are um less than because obviously you couldn't fight in these wars or you had very little to do with them. But just to point out that when the chips are down, when there is hell to be paid and someone's got to pay that price, men step into that gap. men, masculine men need to be there to make sure that there is a tomorrow for everyone else. And I am so grateful for my grandfathers and the things that they did during their lives that helped preserve my life and my way of life today. And I think we lose sight of that. What men do in the hardest of times is the hardest of things. They do the things that are almost unthinkable and they do them without thinking. You know what I mean? They just do it. They just do it because it has to get done and somebody has to do it. And masculine men are who they look to to get that done. When the world is coming to an end and it looks like things are as dark as they can be, they need masculine men to step into that breach and to set the world back on track. And we cannot we cannot we can not allow this latest cadre of confused neurotic ultra liberal. I'm not talking ultra liberal. I'm not talking about middle of the road liberal. I'm not talking about those who just want more food stamps. And I'm talking about the people who want to, you know, neutralize gender differences and make us all the same. And you know, everyone's got to be 50/50 at every single job. It's going to be 50% men, 50% women. Yeah. Yeah, they don't want that. You know, in the coal mines, they want that at Google. You know, we got to see the irrational behavior behind supporting a terrorist organization and call it out for what it is. It's terrorist. Okay? You can't do that. You can't allow that to happen. And you cannot marginalize men who have healthy masculine expression, who are providing a service to our community, who are doing the things that need to be done.
I remember when my son was born after I had had him for about a year, I took him down to visit my grandparents and they were living in um South Georgia at the time. My grandfather on that side, he was actually a stepgrandfather. My grandmother had a couple of husbands along the way. She married one twice and she had two others. Anyway, this guy was a wonderful old man. His name was Henry Wood, and I loved him like he was just the best grandfather you could imagine. Even though biologically we weren't related, it didn't matter. He was a an honorable, hardworking man. He had a farm, you know, and um growing up, we would go to that farm in the summertime and um and spend summers with him. And he would work hard at that farm. And then he um was the assistant manager at a Kroger store down there. and um and he just worked around the clock. You know, his hands were like catcher mitts. They were literally just so big and calloused from all of the hard work he had performed in his life. And I remember as a child looking at those hands and thinking how it must be to be a man like that, you know, like that was a masculine man. But when my grandmother was sick and in the hospital, he was there every single day, day and night, right by her bedside until she was well again. Compassion, love, empathy. All his life, he saved all of his money so that when he died, cuz he truly believed he was going to die before her, so that she would have a life after he was gone. His commitment to her was unparalleled. It was unparalleled. My grandmother was a feminine woman. She did not work during the time that they were married. Now, I think she had some jobs when she was younger, but during their marriage, she did not work. She took care of the house. She had chores around the farm that she would do. Um, but they had a balance in their world that was admirable and it was um ideal on many different levels. I remember in the evenings or in the afternoons when it got really hot in South Georgia, we wouldn't be outdoors. So, we'd be inside. My grandmother's watching her soap operas. I'm sitting there helping her shuck corn or, you know, peel beans or whatever, you know, cuz we get bushels of these things and we needed to get them ready to either go to market or to have them for dinner. And so, we would sit there watching her stories and do these things. It was a wonderful little world that they lived in, you know, and there was balance and there was harmony and my grandfather's masculinity was unquestioned. It was unquestioned and no one no one thought it was toxic.
I remember when I took my son down to visit him. That's how I started the story. Um, my grandfather smoked cigarettes, but he wasn't allowed to smoke in the house anymore. So, he went outside to the garage out in the carport or whatever to smoke a cigarette. And um I went out with him, just hanging out with him. And um I remember he looked at me and he said, "John," and he was getting choked up. And I'm going to get choked up thinking about it. And he told me how proud how proud he was of me as a man for being a single dad, for taking control of this situation and raising my son and getting custody of him. And uh that was one of those moments where his masculinity, his gravitas, his power as a man was distilled down to this moment in time. my entire life of admiring him got distilled to this one moment in time when he said basically you're a good man you're a good man that is healthy masculinity that is what it means to be a masculine man is to live your life honorably and then pass it on then pass it on the world cannot exist without masculinity. It will not it would not have and it will not in the future without healthy masculinity. We need men like my grandfathers who were there for the people they loved. Who did the things that no one else wanted to do, who did the hard things in life that allowed this lifestyle to exist. This does not exist without masculine men. Sorry ladies, it just doesn't. Now, I'm not taking anything away from what you guys bring. You know, women have an important role in our society, and I honor it and I think it's critical that we all hold that in high regard. But at the same time, you cannot you cannot you can not make masculinity into something that is toxic because it's not. It's just not. And it's this behavior that you guys have initiated that is responsible for all the worst parts of what you guys consider the manosphere. You know, for all the push back you're getting. It's because of this accusation that men are in some way inherently bad, that our natural behaviors are pathological. And they're not. They just simply are not. And um we're tired of it.
And so for you men out there, let's get back to you guys. We cannot set aside our masculinity just to be accepted by women. This is we're we're playing into their toxic frame of mind into this path pathology that they have going on. We cannot set aside our masculinity for their approval. That is the worst thing you can possibly do. And like I said at the beginning of the video, when you do that, you just feed their neurosis. You literally feed their neurosis and this will cause them to feel unsafe. And when they feel unsafe, they will run from you. They will run from you. So, there is nothing to benefit. I mean, unless a short-term thing, you're just trying to get laid, then I guess you can play that game, but I don't think that's an honorable way to live. All right, you guys. That's all I got for you today. I certainly hope you've enjoyed this video. If you have, I certainly hope um you'll sh you'll like and subscribe. If you know someone who might um benefit from it, please share it with them. Anyway, till next time, stay healthy and if you can stay single.