Transcription
If you grew up without enough love, you get very good at imagining love, even when it's not there. People who experienced emotional neglect in childhood are more prone to becoming infatuated or preoccupied with someone who's unavailable, unpredictable, or inconsistent.
This isn't a crush. It's a nervous system event called lirance, which is an intense, involuntary emotional and physiological state of infatuation where you can't stop thinking about the other person.
If you've experienced limrance, you may have felt intrusive thoughts, fantasy bonding, butterflies in your stomach, hypervigilance to every text, tone change or shift in body language, your mood being tied to how they respond, your body constantly feeling activated, an intense sense of urgency, a clenched stomach, and constant anxiety.
Your nervous system confuses fantasy with safety because lirance puts your body and brain into a heightened chemical state. So you feel high on love because you're experiencing neurochemical survival mode. Limmerance floods your body with chemicals that feel like connection. Dopamine gives you the rush and the reward. Norepinephrine gives you the obsession. Cortisol keeps you anxious and panicked. And oxytocin deepens an attachment that's not there.
Limrance gets stronger when the person is inconsistent because your nervous system gets addicted to maybe. Unpredictability feels like home to an already disregulated nervous system. This isn't your fault. You probably grew up in a home where you experienced emotional neglect. So, your nervous system learned that it was normal to attach to people who are inconsistent, confusing, or unavailable.
To break out of the pattern of limrance, you have to heal your nervous system first. Limrance is a chemical loop in the body, and your body needs regulation so it can break that loop. If you want the exact exercises to heal your nervous system and start to break the pattern of limmerance, check out the caption of this.